This is my first fanfic... and English isn't my native language, so this might not be grammatically correct. Please read and give me some advice.
This is the first chapter of the whole story. It's supposed to start in Hoenn but the main adventure is in Kanto.
1. Lost in Petalburg Woods! Find Tangela! VS Exeggutor
Angel sighed. She should never ask Rusty to come into Petalburg Woods with her. He’s too much of a scaredy cat, she thought. It’s just the Woods. Not like its the Petalburg Gym or something.
“Angel?” Rusty asked, scratching his short, black hair. “Can’t we ask your dad to do it? Why must we come here? If we get caught, we’re doomed.”
“Because,” Angel replied, barely suppressing a snarl, “Dad would just blame me for letting him go. He would simply let Tang go, saying ‘It would be better for Pokemon to roam free.’ Or something like that.”
As Rusty was about to reply, a faint rustling came from behind. Paranoid, Angel and Rusty halted in their steps and slowly turned around. “Tang?” Angel inquired, pronouncing the word subtly, in case she provoked any wild Pokemon. “Is that you- Jan?”
Another girl, the same age of Angel and Rusty- eight- came out of the bush they just pushed through. Unlike Angel, who had silky brown hair rippling behind her back, Jan had short blond hair, which only fell to her shoulders. “Did I scare you? I thought I heard you sneaking out after lunch and I followed. I was so certain it's you!" She grinned.
Rusty moaned, “Now we’re doomed! She’ll tell on us for sure!”
“I’m not a tell-tale!” Jan protested, “I want Angel to win the contest too!”
“Are too!”
“Are not!”
“Are too!”
“Are not!”
“CAN WE STOP ARGUING AND JUST GO ON NOW!?” Angel shrieked, her senses overcame by her two friends. Rusty and Jan shut up immediately, stepping two paces back, as Angel strode forward, pushing the jade green leaves aside with jerky movements. She made a last effort to eliminate a particularly stubborn bush, then stumbled forward into the smooth trunk of a tree.
“Ouch!” Angel cried, holding her nose and feeling for any cracks in the bones.
“Um… Angel?” Rusty pointed at the tree, shrinking behind Jan, who was shrinking behind Angel.
“What!?” She lifted her head briefly to check it out. Then lifted it again.
For an enormous coconut tree stood there, nodding its three heads, which strikingly looked like coconuts. Two eyes filled with hatred were etched on wach face, and the three mouths twisted in an ugly sneer. An Exeggutor! Angel recalled, Oh my god! A sudden clatter. She looked back. A second Exeggutor crawled out behind her two friends, stretching its stubby legs, and, in the process, slammed into another tree, from which about twenty Oddish inhabiting in it dropped down, littering the five occupants of this area. The Oddish streamed around them, their little legs quickly grabbed hold of their clothing and climbed up around to her shoulders.
Angel swept her hands from shoulders to hip, sending a swarm of green and blue back on the ground. She then scrambled towards what she assumed was Petalburg City, grabbing and tugging Rusty and Jan’s wrists on the way. The trio raced forward- the Oddish didn’t attack them yet. She ran forward, hopping over the confused Oddish and dodgin between the Exeggutors.
The first Exeggutor sensed her motion. It tilted its enormous top, the leaves on its head crackled, then sent a round object as big as a coconut towards Angel. The egg whipped across her hair, barely missing Rusty, and slammed into the soil, forming a lump on the ground. It cracked open, and blasted yellow fumes at the three kids. Angel choked, "Stun Spore! Hold your breath-" but the sentence was cut short by a cough. As the powder entered her lungs, it dissolved, paralyzing her entire muscle system. Twisting her neck a bit, she could see Rusty and Jan drop to the ground as the Stun Spore took effect.
She turned back to the front to soothe her aching neck muscles, but a jolt of fear swept through her as rotten eggs skipped out, chattering in an unknown language. Their faces were as menacing as the original Exeggutor, but less tense. Angel assumed the expression was natural, not that the newly borned Pokemon hated her.
Jan swept her arm in a jerky motion, crashing into the Exeggcute. She withdrew her arm quickly, then tried again to wham away the eggs. The Exeggcute frowned. The largest egg's eyes concentrated on Jan, sending a rippling wave of psychic directed at her eyes. Jan's eyelids flickered gradually, then twitched, before they closed hard, sending her tumbling to the ground.
Angel felt her skin tingle with terror as Jan slumped down. Rusty stood up hardly, hurried over and placed a hand under her nose. "Dead?" Angel cried, dreading the answer. Confusions can wreck havoc when used on humans. She willed with all her mind that Jan was okay. "No. Just asleep," came the reply. Jan sighed.
But as Rusty gaped, looking around, searching for the speaker, Angel realized that the words weren't spoke by Rusty, but by a mysterious fourth person.
“That’s Hypnosis. Fired by that Exeggcute there, which was created when that Egg Bomb fell. An Exeggutor’s head always form an Exeggcute when it drops."
A boy of fifteen to sixteen appeared out of nowhere, ruffling his copper-colored hair, and he put on a pair of light brown gloves that lacked fingertips. A dark brown headband circled his forehead, stopping his hair from running too wild. Just about every clothing on him was a shade of brown, except his backpack, which was red and had the ‘Pokemon League Official Warden logo on. A black leather belt circled his waist, holding six Pokeballs, only one of them occupied. As Angel stared in awe, the boy carelessly tossed a pokeball on the floor, releasing a Gulpin.
It looked like a bloated stomach bag, which it was. A light yellow feather sat on its head, pointing at random directions. A diamond shape situated on the Pokemon's back. It opened its drooling mouth, belching a poison gas at a high force, blowing several Oddish away. “That’s Poison Gas,” Bronze explained, holding three face masks to Rusty while wearing one himself, “so you'll have to wear these if you don't want to get sick."
Out of a start, the two Exeggutors stumbled and crashed to the ground, as the poison took effect. The two trees rolled in agony, thrashing their feet, faces twisted in pain. The Oddish, frightened by the sudden movement, galloped all around and bit on their shoes, attempting to Absorb something. “Oddish are Poison type too! You can’t poison it!” Angel said. As if on cue, the Oddish bite hard on Gulpin, Absorbing its inner energy. Noticing their comrades, the rest quickly swarmed over Gulpin, piling on top of it. However, to Angel’s surprise, the Oddish crashed down, poison oozing out of their eyes and mouths. “Liquid Ooze!” Rusty’s eyes lit up, “Gulpin’s ability renders HP-absorbing moves useless! I remember reading that!"
Five minutes later, the hostile Grass-type Pokemon laid still, too weak to move, let alone attack. The boy, who just introduced himself as Bronze, narrowed his eyes and sternly lectured the three of them, who had got out of paralyze, thanks to Bronze's Cheri Berries. “Why did you rouse the wild Pokemon?" He started. "They’re supposed to be dangerous! If it weren’t for me…”
“Excuse me! Us? Rouse them!” Rusty cried. “All I did was trying to find Angel's Tangela, who got lost this morning around here, and all of a sudden that Exeggutor hopped out and…”
“Stop right there,” Bronze cut. He retrieved a pokeball from his belt and placed it on an unconscious Oddish. After restoring its HP with a Potion, he released it and commanded, “Sweet Scent!”
A gust of flowery petals swirled by and intoxicating sweetness filled the air around them, stimulating their sense of smell, calling them to breathe deeply, inhaling the aroma. Angel could spot Wurmples and Caterpies and Weedles and Ledyba and all sorts of Bug Pokemon swarming out, emerging from their hiding places. She gave a happy cry as a Tangela wearing a bow tie skipped out from under a piece of rotting wood.
“There!” Bronze proclaimed, pleased with himself. “Where are you due? It’s my duty as a ranger-in-trainging to send you home safely.”
“Well, we have to go to the new Contest Hall in Petalburg…”Angel started.
Her statement was cut short when Bronze pulled them on a portable skateboard (which was apparantly hidden inside Gulp's stomach. Her own stomach lurched as they sped off, dodging the trees and undergrowth. Once Angel saw a Kangaskhan in the distance, but before she could make further observations, they were far away.
Half an hour later, Bronze arrived outside the Hall, barely braking in time. Angel looked at her wristwatch, them hollered, “I’m already late!”, and rushed inside. Rusty followed her, but Jan hesitated. “Would you like to come with us and see Angel perform?” She asked sweetly, all the time dragging Bronze into the majestic hall.
"I'm sorry, but..." Before Bronze could answer, a girl hurrying pass slammed into him, pushing him down with the force of impact. Frantically, Bronze grabbed at the girl's ponytail in an effort to support himself. The girl shrieked as Bronze's hand closed on her silky amethyst hair, tumbling down together in the confusion. The girl landed on Bronze, using him as a sort of padding, and fortunately escaped injuries. However, Bronze was less lucky. His elbow hit the smooth marble floor of the hall, then crumbled under him. “Oof! What the heck!” Bronze pratically screamed, holding his elbow with the other hand, while trying to push the culprit off.
He gave her a glance. She was slender and tall, her purple hair covering her face. Her hair has a sort of strange supernatural radiance, Bronze thought. The reflection of the light semmed to twirl in circles, even though the crystal chandelier remained stationary, as did the girl. She had a pair of lilac jeans and a violet T-shirt. A Pikachu proclaiming 'Don't Bash Me' was quilted on it. She wore a pair of sandals decorated with little rubies and sapphires. A Mawile in a frilly dress stood behind her, waiting for her owner.
"Geroff me." Bronze moaned. Amethyst shifted off him, then, with a briefly muttered 'Sorry.', she sped off into the contest arena, Mawile chasing after her.
"Are you all right?" Jan said, helping him on the slow and agonizing journey into the audiance field of the Contest Hall and onto the seat, during which an old lady rubbed on some spore of a Paras and tied a makeshift sling out of a tartan bandanna. Bronze slowly seated and awaited the show. It's probably as boring as Dad's Feebas, Bronze thought gloomily. He was in no shape to refuse complying with Jan. He sighed as he released Gulp, his Gulpin with his free hand, while the competitors strode onto the stage.
To Be Edited and Continued.
Hope that didn't burn your eyes as much as I thought. Advice is desperately needed!
This is the first chapter of the whole story. It's supposed to start in Hoenn but the main adventure is in Kanto.
1. Lost in Petalburg Woods! Find Tangela! VS Exeggutor
Angel sighed. She should never ask Rusty to come into Petalburg Woods with her. He’s too much of a scaredy cat, she thought. It’s just the Woods. Not like its the Petalburg Gym or something.
“Angel?” Rusty asked, scratching his short, black hair. “Can’t we ask your dad to do it? Why must we come here? If we get caught, we’re doomed.”
“Because,” Angel replied, barely suppressing a snarl, “Dad would just blame me for letting him go. He would simply let Tang go, saying ‘It would be better for Pokemon to roam free.’ Or something like that.”
As Rusty was about to reply, a faint rustling came from behind. Paranoid, Angel and Rusty halted in their steps and slowly turned around. “Tang?” Angel inquired, pronouncing the word subtly, in case she provoked any wild Pokemon. “Is that you- Jan?”
Another girl, the same age of Angel and Rusty- eight- came out of the bush they just pushed through. Unlike Angel, who had silky brown hair rippling behind her back, Jan had short blond hair, which only fell to her shoulders. “Did I scare you? I thought I heard you sneaking out after lunch and I followed. I was so certain it's you!" She grinned.
Rusty moaned, “Now we’re doomed! She’ll tell on us for sure!”
“I’m not a tell-tale!” Jan protested, “I want Angel to win the contest too!”
“Are too!”
“Are not!”
“Are too!”
“Are not!”
“CAN WE STOP ARGUING AND JUST GO ON NOW!?” Angel shrieked, her senses overcame by her two friends. Rusty and Jan shut up immediately, stepping two paces back, as Angel strode forward, pushing the jade green leaves aside with jerky movements. She made a last effort to eliminate a particularly stubborn bush, then stumbled forward into the smooth trunk of a tree.
“Ouch!” Angel cried, holding her nose and feeling for any cracks in the bones.
“Um… Angel?” Rusty pointed at the tree, shrinking behind Jan, who was shrinking behind Angel.
“What!?” She lifted her head briefly to check it out. Then lifted it again.
For an enormous coconut tree stood there, nodding its three heads, which strikingly looked like coconuts. Two eyes filled with hatred were etched on wach face, and the three mouths twisted in an ugly sneer. An Exeggutor! Angel recalled, Oh my god! A sudden clatter. She looked back. A second Exeggutor crawled out behind her two friends, stretching its stubby legs, and, in the process, slammed into another tree, from which about twenty Oddish inhabiting in it dropped down, littering the five occupants of this area. The Oddish streamed around them, their little legs quickly grabbed hold of their clothing and climbed up around to her shoulders.
Angel swept her hands from shoulders to hip, sending a swarm of green and blue back on the ground. She then scrambled towards what she assumed was Petalburg City, grabbing and tugging Rusty and Jan’s wrists on the way. The trio raced forward- the Oddish didn’t attack them yet. She ran forward, hopping over the confused Oddish and dodgin between the Exeggutors.
The first Exeggutor sensed her motion. It tilted its enormous top, the leaves on its head crackled, then sent a round object as big as a coconut towards Angel. The egg whipped across her hair, barely missing Rusty, and slammed into the soil, forming a lump on the ground. It cracked open, and blasted yellow fumes at the three kids. Angel choked, "Stun Spore! Hold your breath-" but the sentence was cut short by a cough. As the powder entered her lungs, it dissolved, paralyzing her entire muscle system. Twisting her neck a bit, she could see Rusty and Jan drop to the ground as the Stun Spore took effect.
She turned back to the front to soothe her aching neck muscles, but a jolt of fear swept through her as rotten eggs skipped out, chattering in an unknown language. Their faces were as menacing as the original Exeggutor, but less tense. Angel assumed the expression was natural, not that the newly borned Pokemon hated her.
Jan swept her arm in a jerky motion, crashing into the Exeggcute. She withdrew her arm quickly, then tried again to wham away the eggs. The Exeggcute frowned. The largest egg's eyes concentrated on Jan, sending a rippling wave of psychic directed at her eyes. Jan's eyelids flickered gradually, then twitched, before they closed hard, sending her tumbling to the ground.
Angel felt her skin tingle with terror as Jan slumped down. Rusty stood up hardly, hurried over and placed a hand under her nose. "Dead?" Angel cried, dreading the answer. Confusions can wreck havoc when used on humans. She willed with all her mind that Jan was okay. "No. Just asleep," came the reply. Jan sighed.
But as Rusty gaped, looking around, searching for the speaker, Angel realized that the words weren't spoke by Rusty, but by a mysterious fourth person.
“That’s Hypnosis. Fired by that Exeggcute there, which was created when that Egg Bomb fell. An Exeggutor’s head always form an Exeggcute when it drops."
A boy of fifteen to sixteen appeared out of nowhere, ruffling his copper-colored hair, and he put on a pair of light brown gloves that lacked fingertips. A dark brown headband circled his forehead, stopping his hair from running too wild. Just about every clothing on him was a shade of brown, except his backpack, which was red and had the ‘Pokemon League Official Warden logo on. A black leather belt circled his waist, holding six Pokeballs, only one of them occupied. As Angel stared in awe, the boy carelessly tossed a pokeball on the floor, releasing a Gulpin.
It looked like a bloated stomach bag, which it was. A light yellow feather sat on its head, pointing at random directions. A diamond shape situated on the Pokemon's back. It opened its drooling mouth, belching a poison gas at a high force, blowing several Oddish away. “That’s Poison Gas,” Bronze explained, holding three face masks to Rusty while wearing one himself, “so you'll have to wear these if you don't want to get sick."
Out of a start, the two Exeggutors stumbled and crashed to the ground, as the poison took effect. The two trees rolled in agony, thrashing their feet, faces twisted in pain. The Oddish, frightened by the sudden movement, galloped all around and bit on their shoes, attempting to Absorb something. “Oddish are Poison type too! You can’t poison it!” Angel said. As if on cue, the Oddish bite hard on Gulpin, Absorbing its inner energy. Noticing their comrades, the rest quickly swarmed over Gulpin, piling on top of it. However, to Angel’s surprise, the Oddish crashed down, poison oozing out of their eyes and mouths. “Liquid Ooze!” Rusty’s eyes lit up, “Gulpin’s ability renders HP-absorbing moves useless! I remember reading that!"
Five minutes later, the hostile Grass-type Pokemon laid still, too weak to move, let alone attack. The boy, who just introduced himself as Bronze, narrowed his eyes and sternly lectured the three of them, who had got out of paralyze, thanks to Bronze's Cheri Berries. “Why did you rouse the wild Pokemon?" He started. "They’re supposed to be dangerous! If it weren’t for me…”
“Excuse me! Us? Rouse them!” Rusty cried. “All I did was trying to find Angel's Tangela, who got lost this morning around here, and all of a sudden that Exeggutor hopped out and…”
“Stop right there,” Bronze cut. He retrieved a pokeball from his belt and placed it on an unconscious Oddish. After restoring its HP with a Potion, he released it and commanded, “Sweet Scent!”
A gust of flowery petals swirled by and intoxicating sweetness filled the air around them, stimulating their sense of smell, calling them to breathe deeply, inhaling the aroma. Angel could spot Wurmples and Caterpies and Weedles and Ledyba and all sorts of Bug Pokemon swarming out, emerging from their hiding places. She gave a happy cry as a Tangela wearing a bow tie skipped out from under a piece of rotting wood.
“There!” Bronze proclaimed, pleased with himself. “Where are you due? It’s my duty as a ranger-in-trainging to send you home safely.”
“Well, we have to go to the new Contest Hall in Petalburg…”Angel started.
Her statement was cut short when Bronze pulled them on a portable skateboard (which was apparantly hidden inside Gulp's stomach. Her own stomach lurched as they sped off, dodging the trees and undergrowth. Once Angel saw a Kangaskhan in the distance, but before she could make further observations, they were far away.
Half an hour later, Bronze arrived outside the Hall, barely braking in time. Angel looked at her wristwatch, them hollered, “I’m already late!”, and rushed inside. Rusty followed her, but Jan hesitated. “Would you like to come with us and see Angel perform?” She asked sweetly, all the time dragging Bronze into the majestic hall.
"I'm sorry, but..." Before Bronze could answer, a girl hurrying pass slammed into him, pushing him down with the force of impact. Frantically, Bronze grabbed at the girl's ponytail in an effort to support himself. The girl shrieked as Bronze's hand closed on her silky amethyst hair, tumbling down together in the confusion. The girl landed on Bronze, using him as a sort of padding, and fortunately escaped injuries. However, Bronze was less lucky. His elbow hit the smooth marble floor of the hall, then crumbled under him. “Oof! What the heck!” Bronze pratically screamed, holding his elbow with the other hand, while trying to push the culprit off.
He gave her a glance. She was slender and tall, her purple hair covering her face. Her hair has a sort of strange supernatural radiance, Bronze thought. The reflection of the light semmed to twirl in circles, even though the crystal chandelier remained stationary, as did the girl. She had a pair of lilac jeans and a violet T-shirt. A Pikachu proclaiming 'Don't Bash Me' was quilted on it. She wore a pair of sandals decorated with little rubies and sapphires. A Mawile in a frilly dress stood behind her, waiting for her owner.
"Geroff me." Bronze moaned. Amethyst shifted off him, then, with a briefly muttered 'Sorry.', she sped off into the contest arena, Mawile chasing after her.
"Are you all right?" Jan said, helping him on the slow and agonizing journey into the audiance field of the Contest Hall and onto the seat, during which an old lady rubbed on some spore of a Paras and tied a makeshift sling out of a tartan bandanna. Bronze slowly seated and awaited the show. It's probably as boring as Dad's Feebas, Bronze thought gloomily. He was in no shape to refuse complying with Jan. He sighed as he released Gulp, his Gulpin with his free hand, while the competitors strode onto the stage.
To Be Edited and Continued.
Hope that didn't burn your eyes as much as I thought. Advice is desperately needed!
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