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Cannibalism (one-shot, R for lots of blood)

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Morpher01

Bewear my power
This, folks, is my first attempt at a one-shot. It's in first person (I seem to love that a lot), so expect things from the character's point of view.

It's rated R for a reason. You'll see soon enough.



Here we go...




*****

My name is Sean. I am a Sceptile.

I am called an abomination, a mutant, a downright freak of nature by my people. I, unlike my kind, eat live meat. I commit cannibalism. That is why I am different from all other Sceptile.

My cannibalistic rampage began two months ago...

******

I was merely walking through my area of the woods, hoping to find prey. I looked and saw a Rattata appear from the bushes. It was weak, paralyzed.

Perfect, I thought, I found easy prey.

I leapt into a tree and ran up its trunk. I was concealed easily in the leaves on this tree. I leapt to the next tree branch, grabbing it to keep myself from falling and warning the Rattata to my presence. I eventually stumbled onto the branch, then looked upon my prey below.

It was weak only while paralyzed. I saw that it was rather strong, the paralysis the only thing keeping it from unleashing its power.

I ran down the tree trunk, using the bladed leaves on my limbs to prevent from falling. I was in the bush now, ready to srike.

I charged the leaves on my arms with green energy. I then cut the Rattata in two with a Leaf Blade attack. I picked up the head, then took a bite.

Oh, the devine flavor! It brings great joy to my taste buds, the spike-like leaves on my tail bristling with glee. I took another bite, and another, and another...

I had completely consumed the head. It was very delicious. I licked the blood off my lips and proceeded back to my home, my stomach full.

******

During the night, I found that I had an unsatiable for raw meat. But, because the head Sceptile was paranoid, the entrances and exits to the village of my people have been blocked, so I cannot leave the village to find prey. I had only one other choice...

I had to eat my own kind.

I leapt out of my tree home and onto a branch. I scaled that branch, then spotted the arm of a Sceptile hanging out of a hammock made of leaves.

Easy prey.

I climbed up, barely making a sound, so as to not awake my prey. I climbed around my prey's tree, then climbed up. I was right behind my prey. I powered ip a Crunch attack, my jaws growing stronger with every second. I then bit down on my prey's head, ripping into soft flesh.

My quarry killed, I tore his flesh open with my arm leaves, creating quite a mess. I picked meat out from the inside of his body, plucking it into my mouth. It tasted absolutely marvelous.

I finished filling my body with the meat from my prey's body. I moved on to another tree, then another, then another.

In each one I devoured the residents without them even knowing. It was like a human's drive-through resturant; I snuck in, feasted on all those living in the tree, then snuck out. It was so easy...until morning arrived.

******

It was then I was banished from my village.

The village head had found out about my vicious cannibalistic rampage overnight, and told me that if I wanted to eat things, I would do it outside of the village.

And now I am who I am today. A Sceptile that has an incredibly strong craving for raw meat. A cannibalistic Sceptile...I am.

*******

Sorry if it's too short. It seems so big on the "post reply" screen.

Anyway, read, review and rate!
 

TPMX

Beans backing up...
....Whoa. Deep, I'll give you that much. There was blood, but not an insane amount, which is what I expected. I personally believe you could of made this a bit longer.

As for shortness, just make sure you go past the limit of one Word page. A good part past it. 3 is healthy.
 
C

Carpetted!

Guest
Yes, it was a wee short. But it was nice and detailed. Not much of an ending however.
 

Seijiro Mafuné

Diogomainardista!
Um... cannibals eat the meat of their own species. I doubt they'd expel him for eating a Rattata... hell, that must be what they eat!

So, I suggest a renaming, or a rewrite. Whichever you prefer.
 

Kiyohime

Well-Known Member
Meh...I had to ask, but was this by any chance inspired by Burnt Flower's one-shot? o.o;;

If it's unnatural for Sceptile to be a meat-eater, then that means Sceptile actually would be a non-meat eater, and eat grass and plants instead. That seems more like cannibalism to me. >.o So it makes more sense that they're carnivores. XD
 

IceKing

Sexorific!
As for shortness, just make sure you go past the limit of one Word page. A good part past it. 3 is healthy.

Yes, it was a wee short.

Hey guys! If you want a much longer, much better, much more descriptive, much less stolen version, read Contaminated Freedom by Burnt Flower, a fic that just came out a few days ago that is (shockingly!) about someone who has an obsession with eating flesh that grows larger and larger into cannibalism. It's quite obvious that you were inspired by her one shot since there were many similar qoutes and you did the same thing with your other fic, a pokemon talk show.

And quite frankly, this was kinda crappy. The bloody scenes were rather corny and not that bone chilling, and there were soem glaring plot holes, mainly the eating ratatta. And the whole turning to cannibalism had NO emotional effect at all. Horror writing isnt about writing a bunch of blood and guys, it about appealing to fear and drama which this really did not do. There were glaring plot holes, like the eating the Ratata being so evil. And do you honestly think a Sceptiles not going to notice someone is eating him even if hes asleep and if the other Sceptile wont notice too. And do you honestly think a tribe would just banish him after he ATE HIS OWN PEOPLE??? You had a good template for powerful emotional drama and great descriptions, but instead what you got was a piece of fake bloody crap and a boring plot hole ridden fest.

Good day!
 
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