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Carry On, Blissey [V.2]

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by ChloboShoka, Jun 17, 2017.

  1. ChloboShoka

    ChloboShoka Writer

    Original Thread here

    Warning: medical stuff, alcohol and drug use and character deaths.
    Rating: PG-13

    A Drunk Chikorita
    If you are one of those lucky trainers we can heal your whole team free of charge under a minute. We probably deal with thousands of patients a day and many of them are satisfied with their care. On the other hand, there is only so much that technology can do. The healing machine has made care easier for us. Unfortunately, despite popular belief it does not heal every disease.

    That's when I, the matron and the nurses help out. I examine the patient’s condition, diagnose them, then refer them to the specialist they need. It's never an easy task and the rules are always changing to ensure that everybody gets the right health care.

    No day is ever the same. One of my favourite things about this hospital is that it wasn't just pokémon from the chansey line. The thought of a muk working in a hospital many nurses from other departments frown. Some people showed expression of horror and some were amused. They got the idea from Unova where they had audinos and also some fighting pokémon in the physiotherapy ward. The chansey line were very rare in Unova, but audino do a good job. Of course, I'm proud of being part of the chansey line, but I feel like the hospital promotes equality and diversity much better than other places I've worked in before. Could still do with some improvements here and there, but it's good.

    I can mend fainted pokémon in a heartbeat. The healing machine works wonders for burns, paralysis, frost bites and most poisons. However, sobering them up is a different story. One of my patients today included a baby chikorita. Purple patches on his skin indicate signs of poisoning. The leaf on the top of his head flaps uncontrollably. There is also an obvious scent of vodka on the chikorita's breath. I hate these sort of cases. They make me want to double slap their trainers where the sun don't shine. Pure grass type pokémon should not be consuming alcohol of any kind especially with their poison disadvantage.

    All grass types should refrain from having refined sugars. A swipe on the machine helped this chikorita recover some energy, but the poison was too severe for the machine to get rid of it. Alcoholic poisoning can be fatal. I hope the Nurse Joy has words with the trainer. If this chikorita doesn't make it, she could be arrested for neglect as well as being banned from pokémon leagues.

    Big things that they don't teach you in the anime or the games. The books somewhat delve into it, but it doesn't substitute personal experience. Just when I think I've seen it all, someone else comes rolling in with a bizarre medical problem.

    "Okay Chikorita," I told him. "As you are still quite young, the full restores may be too strong for your immune system." The chikorita looked at me as in to suggest he had no idea what I was talking about. It is to be expected, but I can't help but use these medical terms. I've been working in this clinic for as long as I can remember. "We will try a combination of aromatherapy and heal bells. These are natural ways to cure common status problems which will leave as little side effects as possible."

    "What's a side-effect?" Chikorita asked. He coughed in his words and squinted his eyes.

    "Side effects are effects that are not intended," I told him. "Once you leave hospital, I recommend that the next time your trainer gives you alcohol is to say no."

    "Matron Blissey," an audino said passing by. Pure was engraved on her name tag. "This chikorita is only a baby, he might forget it."

    "Pure, if we tell him when he's young it will stick with him for life."

    "I am really worried about Chikorita." Pure dragged me into the corner of the room as she tried to whisper it quietly in my ear. "He could be a victim of abuse. The tests confirmed there were five units of alcohol."

    "I shall forward your concerns to Nurse Joy," I announced. "I will also request the medical history of the trainer's other pokémon. Before Pure walked off, I stopped her by asking, "do you know how to use a heal bell for aromatherapy?"

    "Yes, I do."

    "Brilliant," I said. "If you stay here, I'll get someone who can do the aromatherapy." I marched towards a group of chanseys who were looking for something to do. The shiny one in the middle, Lucky was her name, she knew how to perform aromatherapy. She was of the best aromatherapy nurses in the clinic. "Lucky, go in room 24. There's a chikorita with alcoholic poisoning. There's an audino waiting there with the heal bells."

    "Right!" Lucky nodded and scurried over to the chikorita. If everything runs smoothly, the chikorita will be discharged tomorrow morning. Time was a matter of life and death.

    I was slapped on the back by a pink tail. Curiously I turned around and saw some beedrill zoom a mew into the hospital wing. I opened my mouth in awe. I hadn't seen this pokémon in many years. No doubt that everyone would work extra hard to give this one a speedy recovery as they are an endangered species. After all, we've all made our vows to preserve life, but we should apply that vow to all our patients.

    "Nurse Joy! A word please?" I called. Nurse Joy had just walked out of a patient's room with a smile on her face. Someone had just been discharged from the hospital.

    "Of course." I followed Nurse Joy into her office. "It seems something is troubling you?" Nurse Joy can read my mind like a nursery book.

    "Pure believes the chikorita in room 24 might have been abused. Have you spoken to the trainer about this?"

    "I have spoken to Alita about this."

    So the trainer's name is Alita. Doesn't ring a bell to me, so she was either a rookie or someone not local from here. "What did you say to her?" I asked.

    "I praised her for trying to feed her pokémon, but told her not to use alcohol again."

    "Is that all?" I asked. Why should this pathetic trainer be praised for feeding alcohol? I sometimes feel that Nurse Joys are far too lenient on these brats.

    "Alita has Asperger's Syndrome," Nurse Joy said to me. "Now that's not the real reason why she did this, but because she's mentally retarded as well, she can easily be tricked. I'm sure that she wants to be a good pokémon trainer. She loves chikorita, but she doesn't understand what's going on."

    I opened my mouth with sheer horror. "You can't use that word in a professional environment like this. You shouldn't be using it all." Every time I hear that word, my stomach curled as I cringed. Retard was a horrible word. I've heard it too many times.

    "I'd like to know why they were both near alcohol in the first place?" Nurse Joy asked. "Sadly autistic trainers fail to reach their potential."

    "That's a lot of nonsense and you know it!" I shouted. "You treat Autism like it's a deadly disease. It's not. This is discriminatory behaviour!" It really wasn't fair that autistic trainers not treated right at hospitals. I don't know what's gotten into Nurse Joy. I do think that this should be investigated further. Whoever gave Alita the alcohol to feed Chikorita should be punished. She's only ten years old and she wouldn't be fully aware of the consequences of alcohol. I take back the inappropriate thoughts in my head. I'm quite passionate about my job, but it can lead me to being easily frustrated by humans. Still, Audino did the right thing by sharing her concerns to me. I hope for all the best for Alita and her chikorita.

    "You know what happened to Cyrus," Nurse Joy reminded me.

    "Just because one criminal mastermind had autism, it doesn't make every person with autism a criminal. I'm sorry, but some of your generalizations are just ridiculous and unprofessional. I know trainers with the condition that are excellent trainers. One of them is even a gym leader around this region." I snarled. If I wasn't on duty, I could have easily pounded her. Many people expect Nurse Joy to be friendly and polite, but this one had a very unpleasant side. Her implied hatred of people with disabilities made my blood boil with anger. It makes me wonder what made her chose to be a nurse in the first place?

    Nurse Joy asked me to leave as she dived into paperwork.

    “Matron!” one of the chanseys cried out. She had called me from the distance and tried to run. She tripped up on a machoke's wheelchair and rolled over towards my feet. Her trainer had nicknamed her Clumsy. Quite rightly so...

    “Clumsy you don't have to live by your name,” I told her.

    “Sorry,” Clumsy gasped. “But you need to go into room 69. There's something you have to see.”

    “What's the matter with the patient?”

    “I'll show you,” she replied. “It's a rather private matter.”

    I dread to think what Clumsy meant by that. As I followed her down the boiling corridors, we quickly found ourselves in room 69. A group of chanseys were trying to calm down a dragonair who was stomping the floor with an iron tail and inhaling deep breaths, as if she was about to perform a hyper beam attack. The patient was a bewear: a normal/fighting pokémon common in the Alola region. It's black body and pink face was glowing red from embarrassment.

    I could hear muffled high pitched cries from below the patient. “So what is it?” I asked Clumsy.

    “A baby dratini is trapped inside the bewear's butt.”

    “Sorry?” I had to confirm with Clumsy again. In case I heard it wrong. At least I was hoping that I heard it wrong.

    “A baby dratini is trapped in the patient's bottom,” Clumsy explained. “The dragonair outside is his mother, and is understandably very furious.”

    “Well we better get this little dratini out,” I said. “Let's roll Bewear over.” Clumsy and I rolled Bewear towards the wall and we saw a Dratini's head bopping all over the place. “Hello there,” I said to Dratini. “Don't worry little one, we'll get you out.”

    It took a couple of tries but we managed to get Dratini free. I bathed Dratini whilst Clumsy sorted Bewear out. It wasn't long before Dragonair barged into the room.

    “Right!” Dragonair snapped. “Where's my baby boy?”

    “Here he is,” I said, removing the towels over his blue body.

    As soon as the Dratini's eyes popped up, Dragonair's anger melted away into excitement. “Oh I'm so glad you're safe and unharmed.” Their tails wrapped around each other in a deep hug.

    “He might feel traumatic,” I warned his mother. “But you guys should both be free to go.”

    Dragonair and Dratini left as soon as they could. Bewear on the other hand, would have to stay in overnight. Just to make sure he hasn't caused any permanent damage to his organs. I have no idea how Dratini got stuck down there, but to be honest, I don't really want to know.
     
    Last edited: Aug 10, 2017
  2. Missingno. Master

    Missingno. Master Poison-type Trainer

    I remember this! I always enjoyed reading this, and I can see that time has not changed that. Looking forward to reading more. :)
     
  3. ChloboShoka

    ChloboShoka Writer

    Thank you. Glad you enjoyed it and still am. :)

    Mr. Fierce The Broken Swellow


    "Good morning Mr. Fierce."

    I greeted a swellow with two broken wings, whose feet had also been bitten off. It is a very unfortunate case for Mr. Fierce. I don't think he will be able to fly again. His trainer has come to the centre next door nearly every day. His trainer mentioned that he and Mr. Fierce were students at Smogon University. They obtained a degree in competitive battles and became runners up in some leagues. His trainer had a spark in his eye when he talked about his battles with Mr. Fierce.

    He will need to be told that he is now disabled. The machine couldn't cure his injuries, but it helped him regain his conscious. The swellow refused to speak. He frowned upon the nurse behind me. She was a gardevoir without a nickname. Gardevoir was a new member of staff. Gardevoirs were considered to be intelligent because of their typing, and beloved for their elegant appearance. If you ask me, I would say it's the humanoid curves that get them on their knees. It makes you wonder how accurate pokédex entries are because they make me sound like a saint. If you knew which company I used to work for, then you would be surprised.

    "When are my Action Replay Pills coming?" Mr. Fierce growled.

    "We can't give you any Action Replay Pills," Gardevoir answered. I can see she's in a difficult situation. Mr. Fierce was polite around his trainer, but unpleasant when his trainer is not around. "They're illegal."

    "No they're not!" Mr Fierce barked. He pecked Gardevoir on the arm and crowded. "I had them all the time in Fuchsia City. They made me better in no time. By the way, this room is so boring. Where are all the iPads?"

    "Mr. Fierce," I interrupted. The cheeky sod: I've never heard of multiple iPads being in a patient's room. What kind of hospital did he go into? Sounds more like the Ritz to me. "I understand that you found Action Replay medicine useful, but they are illegal in the Sinnoh Region. Therefore we cannot give you any."

    "Give me a real nurse!" Mr. Fierce demanded. He moved his body up and cried when he tried to move his wings. "I don't want that green tart, I want a chansey that understands me."

    "A chansey will assist you later on," I assured him. "For now Gardevoir will give you an injection."

    "It won't get my feet back!"

    I really wanted to tell him that Action Replay Pills won't cure his disability either if anything it may have contributed to his injury. While these pills can make pokemon feel stronger and do things they usually can't do, they're illegal in Sinnoh for a reason. They're addictive, they can weaken the bones and cause permanent brain damage.

    "I know," Gardevoir said. "But we'll do all we can to make sure your life is back to normal."

    "I suppose it's better than nothing." Mr. Pierce sulked and closed his eyes.

    I know her intentions were good, but I didn't want Mr. Fierce's hopes to be raised too high. The bones in his wings have shattered and he would need artificial claws. If he had the money he could get artificial wings as well. His life is not going to go back to normal.

    "Mr. Fierce," I said. "There is no easy way of telling you this, but there is a big chance that you may never compete in battles again."

    "I beg your pardon?" Mr Fierce shrieked. His eyes and mouth opened from the shock of my words. Horrified he froze on the spot.

    "Your injuries are very severe and may take years for you to recover if you recover at all."

    "What will my trainer think of me?" Mr. Fierce sobbed. "I've let him down."

    "The injury is not your fault," Gardevoir told him.

    "Mr. Fierce's colostomy bag will need emptying soon," I reminded Gardevoir. That was another problem with using Action Replay Pills, the pokemon start to become incontinent and disobedient in later life. What looking at Mr. Fierce it seems he's been taking Action Replay for years. Some trainers think that they are amazing injecting so much junk in their pokémon. In my opinion, they're all idiots, but if it wasn't for some of those idiots I probably wouldn't have a job.

    I don't believe the trainer when he said he and Mr. Fierce obtained that degree at Smogon University together. Smogon had high standards and expelled students for using any kind of drugs I should know: I was a student there. I studied medicine with my original trainer. It's a long story, but I haven't seen her since graduating and I ended up working in a lot of health centres until I settled down to this one fifteen years ago.

    I know that Action Replay Pills are legal in Kanto, but what Mr. Fierce has told me does not seem right. Gardevoir had her concerns too. It's cases like Mr. Fierce that remind me how much I detest action replay. I have worked in Kanto clinics before and only one has ever prescribed Action Replay Pills, which was an underground clinic funded by the black market. When the boss of the company that owned the clinic was famously defeated by one of the Indigo Plateau champions, the clinic shut down.
     
    Last edited: Sep 16, 2017
  4. ChloboShoka

    ChloboShoka Writer

    Hacked Syndrome​

    "A dratini getting stuck in a bewear's butt? Wait till the folks from Serebii hear about that!"

    I hated it when Spiritomb came into the room. It's not that he's an unpleasant pokémon to work with because sometimes what he says is rich in knowledge, but whenever I see him. He will talk about how long the patient has left. He was always right. I rarely get to see him as he works different shifts to me, but the rest of my colleagues have had the same experience. At least he didn't work in the baby and egg ward otherwise they'd all be scared for life by his jiggered green grin.

    Hyperacidosis Cancerous Kinetic Excessive Deformity or simply known as the Hacked Syndrome, was a disorder that has been on the rise since the boom of drugs for pokémon. Spiritomb started at this clinic about the same time as I did and became the hospital's expert at this disease. His parents both had The Hacked Syndrome and are no longer with us. Some of the top trainers in the world still use it.

    And of course he was the only pokémon nurse, aside from myself who could speak to humans in their own language. The other pokémon either have to sign or use their body language. Pokémon could communicate to other pokémon fine without any language barriers, but especially in this profession communication was not always a strong point for everybody.

    All the pokémon who worked in our community hospital had been trained to understand human emotion. It was more than just medicine. We were saving lives. It wasn't common that we had to treat humans, but we still needed to give first aid sessions when dealing with both pokémon and humans. It wasn't a known fact that we shared a close bond with humans and most of our patients had pokémon trainers with them.

    Spiritomb and I walked into the room with Alita and Chikorita in. Alita curled her arms around Chikorita as they both had their eyes shut tight. Spirtomb floated above the pair and studied the monitors beeping steadily.

    "This Chikorita is going to be just fine," Spiritomb announced.

    "That's wonderful news," I said. "I was hoping that they would both leave the hospital by tomorrow. Although Nurse Joy says they need to be supervised at all times."

    "It's not easy, is it?" Spiritomb croaked. "Children are very fast and have no sense of danger. Being autistic won't make things easier. That's why I think ten years is far too young to have a trainer's license."

    "Yet the Pokémon Welfare Agency believes that ten is a suitable age to become a pokémon trainer," I sighed. "But I do agree with you, ten is quite young. And to think that that some trainers have their first egg three months after they start their journey."

    "Those Day Care Centres must make a fortune," Spiritomb said. "But I don't like how most of them hand out pokémon eggs like cotton candy. They might not know what the trainer is like?"

    "I can see your point," I told him. "They remind me of Nurse Joy in some ways. Kind, but sometimes too kind. For me the best day care centres I've been to were in Solaceon Town, Agate Village, and Eggseter." The Nurse Joy I had the displeasure of working with here did not apply - she can be very unkind towards patients.

    "Agate Village don't accept pokémon with Hacked Syndrome," Spiritomb responded. "I was at placement there when I was at Pokécommunity University. That was when I learned a lot about Hacked Syndrome. After the incident with shadow pokémon, they decided that they would no longer accept pokémon with Hacked Syndrome because they didn't want to encourage ill health."

    "I see..." I nodded my head and took a brief look at my paper-board. I raised my hand and said, "There was a patient I wanted you to see."

    Before I could even begin talking about the patient, the pangoro from bedroom 42 jumped in front of me. His mind was stuck World War II. His trainer was a war veteran.

    "Get down!" the pangoro roared, punching his chest. "The Nazis are coming!"

    An abra teleported him back to his room. Spiritomb laughed for a couple of seconds before looking at me again. "Who is this patient?"

    "It's Mr. Fierce, he's a swellow facing life confined to a wheelchair," I replied. Since we've spoken about how the disorder is mainly caused by drugs, I thought the patient would have interested Spiritomb. Not only that but his expertise would have been most useful. "He's become addicted to Action Replay pills."

    Spiritomb sniffed and boomed, "sounds like my kind of case!" There was distinct chime in his accent. With that, I led him into Mr. Fierce's bedroom. The bird leered into the ghost's eyes and screeched.

    "What is this?" Mr. Fierce yelled. "Are we in the circus?"

    "Mr. Fierce," I said as I stood in front of Spiritomb and held onto the side of Mr. Fierce's bed. "I'd like you to meet our nurse, Spiritomb. He is an expert in drug related cases and will be here to assist my diagnosis."

    "What a lot of rubbish!" Mr. Fierce barked. "He's a nurse? He looks like a clown." Spiritomb was trying hard not to chuckle as I sighed. "Surely he's got some Action Replay pills?"

    "As I've told you before Mr. Fierce, we cannot give you any."

    "If I may?" Spiritomb asked. "I would like to have a check up on you for some diagnosis?"

    "Suit yourself," Mr. Fierce muttered.

    "Mr. Fierce, how long have you been taking Action Replay?" I asked. As Spiritomb investigated the swellow I walked to his left and spoke to the patient. I could at least try and make him feel at ease. Besides, the more we know about Mr. Fierce, the more we can do to treat him.

    "Ever since I was a little Taillow." He looked into my eyes and crowed. "I've always had it since he caught me. He treated me like his best friend and spoilt me rotten. Although, I haven't seen him today. Not since he was told that I may be unable to battle again. Apparently when Nurse Joy asked him about the Action Replay pills, he did a runner."

    Flipping coward, I thought to myself. Not only was this abuse, but also neglect. As I predicted, Mr. Fierce had been taking this for many years.

    "Did you enjoy these battles?" Spiritomb asked.

    "I did," he replied. "I got an enormous buzz from battles because I get to meet all sorts of creatures. Nurse Gardevoir says you guys will do whatever I can to get my life back to normal again." Mr. Fierce looked up to the sky and said, "... I can't wait to get out of here."

    "You and your trainer must have travelled a lot. What was your favourite place?"

    "I would love to back to Hoenn again," Mr. Fierce answered. "It's a wonderful place. Full of interesting environments and lovely people."

    "That's the diagnosis finished," Spiritomb announced.

    "That was quick!" Mr Fierce gasped. "Can I go home now?"

    "I'm afraid it's just as Matron Blissey feared," Spiritomb announced. "Mr. Fierce, you have indeed have The Hacked Syndrome. Because of your condition, the drugs your trainer has given you for over the years has gradually weakened your immune system and as a result your injuries are severe to the point of permanent disability."

    "So I won't be able to battle..."

    "I'm afraid not."

    "That's why my trainer abandoned me."

    It was almost as if my heart was aching for him. That trainer, I could pound him one if I could. I patted on his wounded wing and said, "Your trainer may have left you, but we won't until we feel we are in a position to let you go."

    "So what happens now?" Mr Fierce asked. "What about my trainer?"

    "It will be up to Nurse Joy and Matron Blissey. We will try and contact Pokémon Professors and follow their advice."

    "Were there bad eggs forming inside?" I asked.

    "Yes," Spiritomb confirmed. "Lots of them. It will require lots of operations to ensure they don't hatch."

    "I have eggs in me?" Mr. Fierce gasped again. His eyes dropped two tears as his head shuddered.

    "They're tumours known as bad eggs," I replied. I gulped and sighed. "We need to carefully get these tumours out before they hatch. If the bad egg hatch, your whole body will freeze and you may die within ten minutes."

    "Why is that?" Mr. Fierce asked.

    "Bad eggs contain highly cancerous cells that will quickly spread," Spiritomb said.

    "It must be easy for you," Mr. Fierce sobbed.

    Poor thing... It's easy to assume that these things get easier as time goes by, but it dosen't. Telling someone that they're going to die is never going to be easy. Mr. Fierce was truly a strong pokémon who didn't need those drugs. It was just a shame he was with a poor trainer.

    I wish we could operate on him now, but we're not allowed to operate on pokémon without permission from the trainer. I've got to seek advice from Nurse Joy and the Social Services... fast! I'm not going to let this pokémon die because of neglect and abuse.
     
    Last edited: Aug 10, 2017
  5. Bay

    Bay YEAHHHHHHH

    I noticed Serebii and Pokecommunity has been referenced. Are there going to be more forum/social media references lol.

    Anyways, I haven't read the first version of your fic so I'll just comment on this version. I do find it a bit surprising this particular Nurse Joy's thoughts on autistic trainers and I agree it is unprofessional. Then again, I heard stories of real life nurses and doctors having similar behavoir. As for Hacked Syndrome, while I get you're trying to reference hacked Pokemon, it's kinda a bit too meta for me compared to the alcohol subject from last chapter. Then again, there's PokeRus so I guess it's not too farfetched there. One last thing I want to add is Spiritomb seems like a fun character there.

    I might try to follow this on occasion since you have an interesting concept there!
     
  6. ChloboShoka

    ChloboShoka Writer

    Thank you Bay. I think I remember referencing Erik Destler once in the fic and a reference to pokecheck.
     
  7. Negrek

    Negrek Lost but Seeking

    I like the worldbuilding you introduce here and there. Representing the effects of hacking as drugs that strengthen pokémon but cause various side effects is particularly interesting, I think. The idea that "bad eggs" are cancerous structures that form and which can kill particularly badly "hacked" pokémon is particularly interesting. There are some things I'd love to hear more information about, too. Like, why can Blissey and Spiritomb talk directly to humans, while other pokémon can't? That seems like an interesting detail that kind of got glossed over. Also, Spiritomb has Hacked Syndrome himself, right? How does that actually affect him? I wouldn't have guessed from how you described him acting in the story so far.

    I'm not quite as sold on some of the actual medical stuff, though. In the first chapter in particular, I thought the whole issue with the trainer with Asperger's was kind of weirdly put together. Like, I get that the nurse was supposed to be biased against people on the Autism spectrum, but even Blissey seemed to think that having Asperger's was somehow responsible for giving her chikorita alcohol, which doesn't make sense to me unless she also really did have some other mental impairment (couldn't tell if that was supposed to be just Nurse Joy being a dick or not). Like, if the concern is that someone else tricked the girl into giving the chikorita alcohol, then that's a concern, but having Asperger's doesn't really have anything to do with how gullible she is. Overall the episode feels kind of like a PSA about how it's not cool to disrespect autistic people, which is a great message and all, but it struck me as a bit contrived and heavy-handed. Like, Nurse Joy is just a mouthpiece for dumb opinions and Blissey gets to smack her down (not literally, much to her dismay).

    Also, the funnier moments of this story really haven't landed for me. Like, the bewear with a dratini up his *** is an amusing mental image, but also kinda implies that something untoward was going on there, which considering the dratini is apparently the pokémon equivalent of a kid... is more horrifying than funny to me. Or the pangoro who's "trapped in World War II" who shows up for a couple seconds to shout random nonsense. On the one hand it didn't really seem to add anything to the story, and on the other it's kind of the usual Hollywood take on mental illness, "shouting random ****," played for laughs, which again isn't really funny to me. It's definitely possible to do humor in a medical setting (e.g. Scrubs), but it can definitely be tricky, because there are a lot of strong emotions wrapped up in the idea of illness and death and the medical system, and it's easy to tip over into something that's going to make people mad. Ultimately you're never going to be perfect on that score, but it's probably worth thinking hard about how you're portraying these issues in your story.

    For the most part your prose is pretty clean, but your tenses can get inconsistent. In the case of the chikorita, for example, things start out in present tense ("Purple patches on his skin indicate...") and switch to past ("A swipe on the machine helped..."), for example. You also run into weirdness like the sentence where Blissey's talking about how a chikorita got brought in "today" but then the rest of the text is in past tense.

    And a couple other small things:

    I think "made" many nurses frown, and/or start with "that." The first time I read this sentence I had no idea what was going on--how it connected to the previous sentence.

    hand *out

    In the end I think this is a neat idea for a fanfic, and you've chosen to go some interesting places with the idea of the life and times of a pokémon nurse. I would just be careful of straying into Very Special Episode territory and what you decide to poke fun at. Good luck!
     
    gotguts likes this.
  8. ChloboShoka

    ChloboShoka Writer

    Thanks for the review. I was actually aiming to go for the subtle horrific route rather than all out humour. But I've found your feedback very useful.

    Important Call



    "Matron!" an audino called, gasping for breath. "The patient in room 31 wishes to see you."

    "Not now," I replied. "I've got to do something. I will see the patient after I've sorted this out."

    I frantically searched for Nurse Joy, only to find out she was training staff on how to tackle with violent patients and trainers. On top of that, she was going to to judge on a contest after the session. It looks like I won't be seeing her until the evening. What a waste of time it was. I could have spent that dealing with patients and staff who could have really used some help.

    I actually could have seen the patient in room 31, but all I could think about was Mr. Fierce. Time was running out for him. Sprititomb's scans confirmed that the bad eggs in his body had fully grown and could hatch any time between 1:00 PM and midnight.

    The clock was on six.

    If I couldn't contact Nurse Joy now, I'd have to seek advice elsewhere. Desperate times for desperate measures. I wasn't sure whether to call the social services or Professor Rowan. Then I remembered, Social Services phone lines close at 5PM.

    Which was just silly. When I worked at Kanto, the social services phone line was always open. I guess that's just Professor Rowan. I marched into the nursing office and reached out for the telephone. I dialled up Professor Rowan and within half a minute an image of him appeared on the screen.

    "Good evening," Professor Rowan said. "How many I help you, Blissey."

    "Hello Professor Rowan, it's Matron from Hearthome City Hospital."

    "Hello Matron," Professor Rowan seemed to be relaxed. "What can I do for you?"

    "I've come to seek your advice," I told him.

    "Matron slow down," requested Professor Rowan. "You're talking far too fast; I can't understand you."

    "Sorry," I responded. "We have a swellow has hacked syndrome. He's admitted to being addicted to them for a number of years and his trainer gave them him on a regular basis. The bad eggs in his body are fully developed and can hatch any time this evening. We need the trainer's permission to perform any operations needed."

    "Do you believe that this swellow is a victim of substance abuse?" Professor Rowan asked. His facial expressions dropped to a sullen frown.

    "Yes we do?" I replied. "When we enquired with the trainer, he ran away."

    "Then you have every right to operate," Professor Rowan confirmed. "By the looks of it, it seems that this poor swellow has been released." Professor Rowan held up a heavy book to me and quickly flicked through the pages. "If you take a look at Section 112, chapter seven on Compulsory Policies By The Pokémon Welfare Agency 2012 it clearly states: If nurses have evidence to believe that a patient has a history of substance abuse, then a patient may be operated on without trainer's consent."

    I sighed in relief.

    "You seem happy, Matron."

    "I am," I told the professor. "Very happy. I'll make sure this swellow gets treatment straight away. Thank you for your help, Professor."

    "My pleasure," Professor Rowan said with a smile. "Best of luck."

    With that, we both hung up on the phone. I knew I had to get Mr. Fierce to the operating theatre in haste. I jogged into his room and moved him out.

    "Plum!" I called one of the vileplumes who had just left a patient's room. "Need you in theatre!" Plum helped move the bed without another word. "Be careful," I told him. "This patient has bad eggs which can hatch any moment."

    "Scarmony and Weeper should be in the theatre room," Plum told me.

    "Right," I said. I looked down on Mr. Fierce, and hoped that he will be able to make it. "Plum give Mr. Fierce some sleep powder."

    Plum's flower head unleashed orange powder that circulated around Mr. Fierce's face. Just as he was about to open his eyes, his eyelids dropped.

    My heart pumped faster than my patients.
     
    Last edited: Aug 10, 2017
  9. Ambyssin

    Ambyssin Future Pika-fodder?

    I meant to post this yesterday, but for some reason I just left my review sitting in Google Docs. GG, me. *sweatdrop*

    Anyhow, I only read the first chapter, but it's an interesting choice to focus on a Pokémon Center. It’s one of those settings that don’t really get a lot of attention if you ask me. I wasn’t entirely sure what sort of direction this was going to go on. The title made me inclined to think this was going a comical route (not entirely sure why, though). But it looks like the opening chapter here was tackling more serious matters. I like how Matron is shown as falling victim to a common issue with health care workers these days: using clinical and health care terminology with patients who aren’t at all familiar with those terms. It happens a lot in this day and age, and I’m glad Chikorita was totally confused by it.

    I’m a bit iffy on that Nurse Joy and her behavior. But I think it’s mostly b/c of how nice all the Pokémon media portrays the Nurse Joys that I can’t imagine one saying something like that. And I do agree that it seemed like, in trying to defend Chikorita’s trainer, things may have gotten a bit mixed up and it sounded like Matron attributed the ASD to the Chikorita being fed alcohol. When, realistically speaking, a neurotypical 10-yr old could also make a similar mistake without proper instructions. I feel like Matron was trying to get that across, but I'm not sure the intent was entirely clear there.
     
  10. ChloboShoka

    ChloboShoka Writer

    Intensive Operation
    I had been concentrating very hard on Mr. Fierce's operation. Scarmony had set up the purification chamber that was fully recharged. I wish we used this machine over at the front in the pokémon centre, but the purification chamber was expensive. We were only allowed to use it on pokémon who had just had operations, where they'd be expected to be completely healed afterwards. Mr. Fierce's condition could get treated, but the disabilities would last for the rest of his life.

    There will be help for him. Once a social worker speaks to Nurse Joy, Mr. Fierce may be moved to care home or put up for people to adopt on the GTS. They're all flawed systems, people don't want to adopt pokémon with the Hacked Syndrome and end up releasing them into the wild in a vulnerable state. It has a 5% chance of being inherited by pokémon who have the disorder.

    In the theatre was myself, Spiritomb, Plum, Weeper and Scarmony. Scarmony had the hardest job out of all of us, especially with the barriers around his beak. They had to be there though. Skarmory was the steel bird of the pokémon world. Scarmony's peak was sharp, but the cap around his beak was there to prevent infection. Although being a steel type pokémon made him immune to poison, the pokémon he could be working with might not have the same privilege.

    Any staff that go into theatre have to have a through showering after every operation. By the looks of all the bad eggs that Scarmony, Weeper and I were pulling out it was going to be a long wash for us all. Even a spiritomb or sableye with wonder guard would be required to have a shower. Pokémon reluctant against water would have strip wash facilities, that policy started coming in when a charmander became a clinical support worker at the hospital.

    Despite many bad eggs being removed, Mr. Fierce's kidney remained cluttered with bad eggs. They had tried to form a honeycomb pattern. We managed to find the biggest bad egg that was fully developed had pierced a hole in his bladder.

    I don't know how he's still hanging on.

    Weeper trembled as he cut the underneath layers of bleeding fungus below the surface of the eggs with a razor leaf. Scarmony used his wing and beak to tear off all the bad eggs at once. He succeeded at all but the huge bad egg that rumbled and made churning sounds. It was the acid and cancerous cells reaching boiling point.

    Plum rolled over the yellow bin and Scarmony disposed of the eggs. I was surprised that Spiritomb didn't really do anything other than observing the machines. Whenever I turned to look at him he never had his eyes on the tumours. I blew a pale ice beam onto the bleeding and areas with fungi in them. It would make Scarmony's job of removing the infected areas easier as the bad eggs can grow back if the fungus had not been removed. Without a word, Scarmony dragged the frozen fungi out of Mr. Fierce's body and into the clinical waste bin.

    I'm not sure if the silence is a good thing or a bad thing. We seem to be silent, yet we're communicating at the same time. We're all fully focused on healing Mr. Fierce, but I've never experienced such silence in the theatre. It was just so awkward. I turned to face Spiritomb again and this time he gave me eye contact and a grin on his face.

    "Good technique," Spiritomb told me. "I'd have never thought of freezing bad eggs out."

    "Desperate times call for desperate measures," I said. I wasn't going to risk burning myself.

    "There's only one left now," Weeper announced. "Do you think Mr. Fierce will survive?"

    "The chances of survival are increasing with every tumour removed," Spiritomb announced.

    Then it struck me. Spiritomb was the reason why everyone was so silent. His utter presence was enough to put them under pressure and try to hide the fact that they're not intimidated by his accurate predictions.

    The last bad egg began to shake violently. Plum bent her knees and with panic in her voice screamed, "the tumours going to hatch! Should I give it stun spore, toxic or sleeping powder?"

    "Neither," I replied. Sleeping powder would have been useless as Mr. Fierce is already asleep. Toxic would kill the egg, but the toxic would make the lingering parts of Hacked Syndrome worse. Stun Spore would go into the blood stream and stop the heart.

    Burning was also an option, but none of us apart from Spiritomb were able to do it. Besides, the last time someone tried to burn a bad egg that patient died. It was far too risky.

    If we cut the bad egg, it would make the process of hatching even quicker and the cancerous cells, infected blood and toxins chemicals would leak all over the body and the organs would erode.

    Which left only one option: freeze it! Bad eggs loved areas with heat and acid and what better place to grow than in the body. Their worst enemy: ice. It kills the cells that are already inside and it froze the entire tumour solid, which made it much easier to remove and it won't hatch.

    "Stand behind me everyone," I demanded. My eyes were fixed onto the fungus attached to the bad egg. I blew out ice beam and started at the bottom. Once the fungus was covered by a blanket of ice, I began to move my head up. The blanket of ice had turned into a block. I went to the other side of the bed to check that the tumour had been frozen from behind. The course was clear.

    "Well done Matron," Spiritomb announced. "I never thought about freezing. Then again, I don't know how to freeze eggs so I just get it out and burn it."

    I'm not sure if that was genuine praise or sarcasm. Surely he'd have known something about freezing bad eggs. He said it twice already. I think I need to keep an eye on him. Short-term memory loss was a sign of many disorders. Judging by his family history, it could be the Hacked Syndrome or possibly dementia.

    "Let's get this bad egg out," Scarmony announced. "We don't want the ice to thaw out." Scarmony flashed his right silver wing and slashed the ice away from the body with its wing. Plum caught the ice and his arms shook. He ran to the clinical waste bin where he disposed of it with great relief.

    "He's going to be fine," Spiritomb whispered into my ear. I smiled and looked up to Plum, Scarmony and Weeper. "Well done guys," Spiritomb added on my behalf. "I understand it's quite scary to operate on hacked pokémon, but I think you all did really well. Acted on impulse and worked as a team to save Mr. Fierce's life."

    "You were all fantastic!" I agreed with Spiritomb. "What we need to do now is stitch everything back up, place him in the pokéball and put him into the purification chamber.

    I marched to the sink, disposed of my gloves with the bin aside it, then washed my hands. I stripped of my blue cloak and hat and placed it inside the large red plastic bin where we put dirty clothes in. Everyone was still in the theatre when I left the room. I had a feeling that Spiritomb was going to take charge of the last moments of the operation.

    The door I took an exit on lead a block of stairs that go down to the washing area. I expect Plum, Scarmony, Weeper and Spiritomb to follow my steps in 30 minutes. I opened the door and saw a lot of staff relaxing in the hot springs.

    I went straight to the shower as I reached for the home-made shampoo and scrubbed as much as I could. Once more staff left the spring I would hop in for a bath, but there was too many pokémon in there. There was meant to be twelve at a time. It was worthless telling them off though. I knew what they would say: Matron Blissey the old bossy boots.

    When all the bug pokémon left the spring, I hopped into the welcoming hot water with floating bubbles down below. Thank goodness, I thought. It was so relaxing I ended up floating around.

    "Matron," an audino asked. "When are you going to see the patient in room 31?" I looked up and it was Sparkles. She must have been the same audino who called earlier. "She's very angry that we had to put her sleep because she was attacking staff."

    "After I finished my bath," I replied. "I had an intense operation today."

    "How's Mr. Fierce?" Sparkles asked. "I didn't see him in his room after I saw you."

    "Yes. The operation was successful."

    "That's good to hear." Sparkles turned towards Gardevoir who buried her head in her hands. "Things haven't turned out so well for us. The first patient Gardevoir saw. It was an elderly stantler that got hit by a car. It died before we could give it treatment."

    Oh the poor girl. First patient she ever had ... dead. She's not the first nurse that it's happened to and it's not going to be the last either. I only took a brief look at the stantler they were talking about. I knew that it had a slim chance of survival, but it didn't stop Gardevoir and Sparkles trying to save its life.

    Gardevoir's uplifting words seemed to help him. Although it was false hope in a sense. He was going to leave the hospital alive. I didn't find much conviction in her words.

    With that in mind, I swam over to Gardevoir. Tapping her shoulders I said, "Cheer up Gardevoir, we can't save lives with you crying in the bath all day."

    "Am I good enough?" Gardevoir asked herself.

    "Don't be so silly," I responded. "Of course you're good enough. You wouldn't be here if you weren't good enough."

    "You really think so?" Gardevoir's wet eyes looked up at me.

    "Sure," Sparkles replied on my behalf. She looked up to me and said, "Maybe we should go into room 31 together?"

    "Good idea," I said.

    "So Mr. Fierce is going to get better?" Gardevoir asked. I nodded and Gardevoir quickly wiped her eyes and stopped crying. "So who's in room 31?"

    "One of the legendary ones," Sparkles replied. "She requested that her identity was to be kept secret. There are some escavaliers guarding her room."

    I had a very good idea who this patient was: someone that I knew from my last job.
     
  11. PhalanxSigil

    PhalanxSigil BONK!

    I remember this! It's been a while, and I wish I'd commented on the previous thread, but hey, might as well comment now.

    Unfortunately, I've only been able to read the first two chapters, but from what I've read so far, I like the concept. Not a whole lot of people write about Pokémon Centers, and fewer still zero in on the anime-specific trope of chansey/blissey helpers, so it's definitely interesting. It also allows for both humans and pokémon to speak, although I personally think it would help readers if you made some sort of distinction between the two. You generally do a good job in making sure the reader knows who's talking, but it's a suggestion.

    The main thing I'd like to focus on a little bit in this review is your wordiness. There's a lot of it, and it started to become a little cumbersome as I read. It's not awful, but it's present throughout, so I'm just gonna point out a couple examples that I noticed in the first two chapters.

    Chapter 1

    These paragraphs can either be shortened or excised entirely. It's not entirely necessary to spell out what Matron Blissey does in the first little bit of the story, especially since you show it pretty well throughout the first chapter. It reads as somewhat redundant.

    A little off topic, but you're missing a quotation mark at the end there.

    Actually upon further review, you might need to take a look at multiple parts of the chapters. There are lots of quotation marks missing.

    There's a lot here, and even though I can see why you included a lot of it, it can very easily be shortened from what's here. You repeat the unprofessionality bit and the anger at Nurse Joy a little too much, and you get it across well enough the first time.

    Also, a couple of formatting and grammar things. If a character is thinking, make sure the thoughts are in italics so they stand out. And it's "dove", not "dived", and "autism" doesn't need to be capitalized.

    That said, the premise of the chapter is interesting enough. Exploring the reality of trainers on the autism spectrum is an interesting topic, and the potential for harm on both the trainer's and pokémon's part, and also the very real and relevant issues of discrimination and dehumanization of those with mental illnesses in society, is good to touch on.

    Chapter 2

    ACTION REPLAY PILLS??!! Oh my god, I love this. As someone who actually used an Action Replay for a while, that hit me to my core.

    This chapter was also much more tightly structured and less expository, so it was a much easier read. The topic of addiction and patient entitlement is also a fascinating one, especially coming from someone whose parents have to deal with that kind of thing almost every day they have clinic.

    The last sentence is not needed. You've already demonstrated how his life has basically been ruined by the Action Replay pills (like my SoulSilver game *sob*), so you don't need to include this.

    I'm intrigued by the story, and if the rest of the story is little vignettes like this, then I'll happily keep reading. Just make sure that you take the time to look over your work, catching grammar and formatting stuff and perhaps working to cut excessive wordiness. I'll definitely be leaving some more reviews in the future!

    -Phalanx, out.
     
  12. ChloboShoka

    ChloboShoka Writer

    Pregnant Mew


    Gardevoir felt a lot better, so she and Sparkles headed straight for Room 31. I suspected it was the patient I recognised when I was slapped by the tail. I knew that Gardevoir was in for a blow because she may not have seen a legendary pokémon before.

    If Nurse Joy was about, I might have gotten into trouble for not attending to that patient first. She made up this rule that we had to attend to the rarer pokémon first. So if there were three bidoofs and one dratini, we'd have to treat the dratini first. This was the one rule that I've always broken, but in the end, I will have my say and the human nurses would understand. After all, this rule is not in any of its policies.

    The patient and I go back a couple years. It was the same Mew that I saw in the Kanto Clinic I used to work for all those years ago. They took her DNA and used it to make her pregnant. After many stillbirths, she gave birth to a hybrid. They named the child: Mewtwo.

    The biological father was a psychic arceus they created in the lab. The way they separated Mew away from her child like that was cruel. The company that owned the clinic was so profit-minded that they neglected care. I couldn't do my job properly.

    I don't think Mewtwo ever saw his own father. He won't be able to see him either; the arceus perished in an explosion. I warned the scientists it would harm Mewtwo's welfare if they confined him to the lab. They wouldn't listen to me because I wasn't human. Oh well, it's not my fault they died. I have no sympathy for any of them apart from the poor pokémon that suffer in their hands.

    Mew rolled on the bed in agony. It was obvious to me what the cause of pain was: a pokémon egg trapped. Her eyes clinched tight and she lost the ability to control her body's functions. That company have not changed one bit since I left.

    "Have you ever seen a Mew before?" I asked Gardevoir.

    "No," she replied.

    "Well, this is the real thing! She has a pokémon egg trapped inside her body. What do the tests say?" I knew the answer, but I needed to test Gardevoir.

    "That there is a foetus inside the egg and there are no bad egg tumours detected in the ultrasound."

    "What species is inside the egg?" I asked. Sparkles and Gardevoir rushed to study the ultrasound scans.

    "It looks like a Mew," Gardevoir answered. "Although I can't see its tail. It looks like it has some huge arms and hair. This could be excess skin or possibly a hybrid of Mew and Dusknoir."

    I confirmed, "It's a hybrid between Mew and a Darkrai! I urge you both to keep this patient's identity confidential. The people that did this to her are bad people. If they know about this... the whole hospital could be in danger."

    "Yes Matron," they said in unison.

    I leaned over to get some eye contact with Mew. "Do you remember me?" I asked curiously. Mew nodded. When Mew's water had broke, I could tell that Gardevoir really wanted to faint. She was the first to notice the baby bump breaking its shape. The hybrid had hatched inside Mew, exactly how Mewtwo was born.

    "I'm Mummy again," Mew crackled, taking no notice of my words. Normally, pokémon lay eggs. If the egg hatches before its been laid then labour or a caesarian would be the best choice.

    "I'm going to support Mew's back," I said to Sparkles. "You and Gardevoir can check what's coming out of Mew."

    It was throwing them both into the deep end, but the hard lessons will stick with them. They deserve to be working here and I refuse to let anything make them feel otherwise.

    "The eggshells are coming out Matron," Gardevoir confirmed.

    "Remove them at once Sparkles," I warned, "The hybrid might get stabbed."

    "Is it out yet?" Mew asked. She was still just as childish as she was before. It was as if history were repeating itself.

    "It's just the eggshells at the moment," Gardevoir replied. "Keep pushing... Okay, I think the head is coming out. It's covered in blood."

    "Keep pushing," I requested to Mew. "You're doing very well."

    Mew gave out a massive roar so loud it would make an explored sound like a feather. After what felt like an earthquake to my eardrums, Mew had expelled the newborn hybrid from its body.

    "Can I hold it?" Mew asked me. "They never let me hold my babies before."

    My heart sank. No mother regardless of species should ever have to ask that question. She was not the first and won't be the last. Gardevoir picked the hybrid up and gently wrapped a towel around the wiggling child.

    "Be careful," Gardevoir warmed. "The bones in the arms are very underdeveloped."

    As Mew held her newborn baby in her arms I injected pethidine mixed with a full restore. We would need to scan the baby for any more complications considering the hybrid had an abnormal birth. For the time being, I watched over the mother and child with a warm smile attached. Watching new life be born was one of my favourite parts of my profession.

    Mew giggled. "I shall name it Swiss!"

    Swiss wasn't a name that I was expecting, but if that's what the mother wants to call it, then so be it. Poor Mew, she's got training difficulties because of her down syndrome and yet they continued to experiment on her.

    The things humans sometimes do to pokémon drive me insane.
     
    Last edited: Oct 1, 2017
  13. Bay

    Bay YEAHHHHHHH

    Some quick thoughts on the last few chapters.

    On "Important Call," I feel Rowan and Matron's conversation in the beginning could be shorten up a bit. Instead of looking like the two said hi to one another twice, after Matron introduced herself follow up immeditely with her saying she wants his advice (so skip Rowan's "Hello Matron" dialogue). You can also mention how Matron noticed she's talking too fast but couldn't stop herself.

    On "Intensive Operation", I'm not all that acknwoledgeable if the cold can stop the "bad eggs" spreading so I can't comment if it's as realistic as it gets, but it was cool of Matron taking the inititive there. The next scene with her and Gardevoir I like too, not hard to imagine the health profession can bring people down with those kind of self doubts.

    Hm, kinda have mixed feelings over "Pregnant Mew" here. I can see where you're getting at making Mew's situation tragic, though a part of me wonders how the Kanto Clinic/company that owned it got hold of Arceus (and Darkrai too, I think?). I'm also curious if Mew will be stayed put in the hospital, has to go back to the company, or something else.

    Typo with two "her" here.
     
    gotguts likes this.
  14. ChloboShoka

    ChloboShoka Writer

    Thanks for your review Bay! Thanks for raising some really good points.

    Team Rocket. My backstory for that was that they created their own fake Arceus and Darkrai to bread more powerful pokemon. Though after the event of the gen 1 games, she no longer works for them.
     
  15. ChloboShoka

    ChloboShoka Writer

    Charsprout

    The patient before me was a hybrid. She had a dragon figure with her sharp claws, two horns, long neck and a green flame at the tip of her tail. Her lower head shaped as a bell and huge pink lips like a tube hid her chin. She shared a Bellsprout's pale yellow skin colour. The front of her wings were russet brown.


    The paramedics told me that her trainer involved in the car crash died on impact. Charsprout herself became a second close to joining him. Still, Charsprout had to be checked out in case of any internal damage. A lot of the staff feel that Charsprout is physically fine, but I sense that something is troubling her.


    Sometimes people working in the care industry forget to look at the pokémon and not the medical flaws. There have been times where I have been guilty of that.


    "Where's Ritchie?" Charsprout gurgled. "He was going to take me to the seaside."


    "Who's Ritchie?" Maxie, an audino asked.


    "He's my trainer," Charsprout replied with a childish grin on her face. "I've never been to the seaside before, Ritchie promised that he would take me there today. When do you think I'll be going?" The audinos frowned as they bowed their heads. It caused Charsprout to raise her voice. "Why is everyone so quiet?"


    "I'm sorry Charsprout," I said. "Ritchie hit a sudowoodo in the road. Both Ritchie and the sudowoodo were instantly killed during the impact."


    Charsprout gasped. Salivating, she slapped her wings against the frame of the bed.


    "What about everyone else?" she asked frantically. She held onto the bed with her claws and sobbed.


    "Sparky is in A&E ward," I replied. "Rose, Happy and Zippo have gone to visit him."


    "How's Cruise?"


    "We're not sure," I replied. "He wasn't in Sparky's room the last time I checked."


    "I did see a tyranitar say his name was Cruise ask to see Sparky," Sparkles said. "Is Cruise a tyranitar?"


    Charsprout shook her head and rolled over the bed.


    Ironically, a tyranitaur walked into the room. He was around the same height as me, which indicated that he had only recently evolved from a pupitar. Sparkles went over to him and asked, "Are you Cruise?"


    "Yep," the tyranitaur replied. "I'm Cruise. How's Charsprout?"


    "We've just told her about Ritchie's death," I said. "I think she'll need as much emotional support as possible."


    "Did she sustain any injuries?"


    "None physically," I replied. "The paramedics told me that the ball she was was close to being crushed. "We are going to check if any of her internal organs are damaged."


    "When will that be?"


    "As soon as possible."


    "Cruise..." Charsprout squealed. She held onto Cruise's hand and sunk into his chest. "How's the rest of them?"


    "They're all sad about Ritchie," Cruise announced. "Rose, Zippo, Happy and Sparky went into the healing machine. Sparky has to stay a little longer, but the rest of them have completely healed."


    "Would like to have a check up as well?" I asked Cruise. He had some shards of glass sticking out of his tail, and his body had clumps of sand on his front body. "It would be beneficial."


    "I feel fine thanks," Cruise replied. "As long as my team is fine."


    I'm quite concerned for Cruise. I still think he should go into the healing machine, but it's his choice. I have to respect it. All the audinos apart from Maxie and Sparkles left the room. Spiritomb marched into Charsprout's room with a grin on his face.


    "Killer's instinct, eh?" Spiritomb chimed.


    "I beg your pardon?" I yelled.


    "Ritchie would have still been alive if you hadn't of caused a sand stream in the car."


    "Spiritomb!" I said calmly. "That's no way to talk to a visitor." I should have known that I could walk straight through him, but it was instinct.


    "You know it's really unprofessional to let killers be treated in this hospital so they do it again."


    "Sorry," Cruise interpreted. "I'm not in the mood for this. But if it makes you feel better, I'll have a check up."


    "I think that's a wise decision," I said. I turned to Spiritomb and told him, "follow me to the nurse's station."


    Spiritomb remained silent to my surprise. He was intelligent but sometimes outspoken. I wondered if it had anything to do with his intolerance towards rock type pokémon? I hope not.


    "What on earth on what outburst for?" I snapped. "That pokémon lost their trainer from a car crash."


    "It's the truth."


    "What's the truth?" Sometimes I just don't understand Spiritomb. He was a great doctor, but some of his actions made no sense. "They're grieving... and you telling a visitor that it's his own fault isn't going to make it any better. Remember our job is to make pokémon feel better."


    "What I did was equivalent to the times where you accused Crasher Wake of being abusive when I treating his pokémon.”


    “That was a long time ago,” I responded in defence.


    “No, it wasn't,” Spiritomb laughed. “It was only yesterday. But Crasher Wake's discharged himself again. Anyway what did you bring me here for?”


    Oh, my goodness. He can't remember what happened, but he can remember what happened years ago. Either Spiritomb was teasing me, or he's developing serious signs of dementia. Either way, it was posing risks for the patients.


    “Spiritomb lately you've been different,” I told him.


    Spiritomb laughed. “What are you talking about? There's nothing wrong with me?”


    “You did accuse a traitor of killing their trainer,” I reminded him.


    “All rock pokémon are scum,” Spritomb growled. Gosh, if the senior staff from the hospital ever get to hear this, then we could be done for. I can't let another clinic close due to scandals.


    I'm trying to see this happening in Spiritomb's eyes, but all I can see is distortions of time. He was forgetting things and acting brash about it. This is something that I need to speak to Nurse Joy about, when I get to see her.


    “Okay Spiritomb, it's time you had some rest.”


    “Rest sounds good,” Spiritomb replied. “Where?”


    “Back inside your medical ball.”


    “Oh right!”


    I knew I had to keep a close eye on him from now on.
     
  16. Bay

    Bay YEAHHHHHHH

    Ritchie, that wouldn't happen to be Ash's rivial way back in the first season of the anime, right? If so, poor him. = < While Matron and Spiritomb were talking, I feel you should add more detail to Matron's reaction, like her sighing in distress, hanging her arms, rolling her eyes, etc.
     

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