Oh so you believe it's ok for a man to cheat on a woman and then blame the woman, but when a woman cheats on a man.. then she's wrong? ??? hellooooo?
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Cheating on your partner.. is it as wrong as people make it out to be
- Thread starter Mandi.
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Oh so you believe it's ok for a man to cheat on a woman and then blame the woman, but when a woman cheats on a man.. then she's wrong? ??? hellooooo?
Pesky Persian
Caffeine Queen
"I'd like to return my spouse. It's clearly defective."
"Sorry, sir/ma'am, but your warranty is void."
GhostAnime
Searching for her...
Like I said, her views on gender and sex are in the stone age.
BJPalmer85
Well-Known Member
the title of this thread makes me laugh...
though "cheating" is open to interpretation...
B
though "cheating" is open to interpretation...
B
はるひ
:)
Yeah, there's so many interpretations of cheating. Cheating to me would be having sex with someone else without me knowing. Things like hanging out, causal kissing on the cheek or lips, going out to eat etc etc are not cheating to me.
BJPalmer85
Well-Known Member
To me its both physical and emotional. Physical cheating is bad enough but add in cheating on an emotional level....that is rough
B
Since when do people kiss 'just friends' on the lips? lol.
Might be just me, but I'd be pretty upset if my man kissed another woman on the lips. Kissing on the lips is pretty romantic and passionate.. which isn't just a 'oh we're just friends' thing.
I can see cheek kisses, because me and my friends do it all the time to greet each other.
Charazemma
Well-Known Member
I agree with you.
mo·nog·a·my/məˈnägəmē/
Noun:
The practice or state of being married to one person at a time.
The practice or state of having a sexual relationship with only one partner.
Kissing, flirting, anything like that, to me is sexual, and therefore breaking monogamy. But its different for everyone.
Yes, I think this debate should probably be only for monogamy relationships, because in polygamy, obviously people who are in relationships with multiple people isn't cheating since they all agree to it.
But kissing on the lips IMO is a sexual act, actually it's quite defined as being a sexual act, even just a kiss with no tongue.
I believe there's more forms of cheating than just simply having intercourse. To me, kissing, flirting, ANY form of sex, oral, intercourse, touching sexually are all forms of cheating. Some people may not define those as cheating, but all those things will lead to sex eventually (and if it doesn't, you know you're having a thought of sex when you flirt with someone. People can't lie on that.)
And then there's the people who deny that they are cheating while doing things other than having intercourse, just basically someone trying to bend the rules in their relationship without their partner knowing.
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はるひ
:)
Side note: my friends and i would kiss each other near the lips. We don't do that anymore.
Yeah your partner being in love with someone else could hurt really bad. I totally understand.
Yeah your partner being in love with someone else could hurt really bad. I totally understand.
I think it's appropriate to bring up the subject of polygamy. Cheating implies that you are seeing another person without your spouse/partner knowing. The reason this is so fundamentally wrong is because of a lack of communication. There is a huge amount of betrayal of trust happening. When the two people got together, they were under the impression that they would be the only ones ever in the picture. But if one grows bored of the other, they can stray off and not tell them because they feel guilty.
I think a way to rectify this would be to change the expectations from the beginning, or at least discuss it at some point during the relationship. If your partner is not OK with you being with someone else, then don't do it. But if they both understand the need for more relationships with other people, then why not? Cheating, like I said, is wrong because the two are not communicating. Polygamy shouldn't be a problem if everyone in the relationship is OK with it.
I think a way to rectify this would be to change the expectations from the beginning, or at least discuss it at some point during the relationship. If your partner is not OK with you being with someone else, then don't do it. But if they both understand the need for more relationships with other people, then why not? Cheating, like I said, is wrong because the two are not communicating. Polygamy shouldn't be a problem if everyone in the relationship is OK with it.
indifference
Well-Known Member
My views on cheating are that it's wrong. Kissing, and sleeping with other people other than your significant other is wrong. I feel like I can't talk right
Different people regard monogamy as different things, though. Kissing can have some perfectly non-romantic forms, especially if you live in a country where that sort of thing is used as a greeting or expression of affection between close friends. And it's not unheard of for people to agree to open relationships, or engage in a married relationship but keep a handful of friends-with-benefits partners on the side (with mutual agreement between spouses, that is, or it's obviously not the same thing).
The line with cheating is usually drawn when it comes to knowledge and permission, though. It's not cheating if you asked your spouse and they said yes. It's cheating if they said no, or gave a noncommittal answer, or if you went behind their back and did it and hoped they wouldn't find out. Especially with the excuse of not feeling fulfilled, but having done nothing to sort things out with your partner before resorting to extramarital stuff.
The line with cheating is usually drawn when it comes to knowledge and permission, though. It's not cheating if you asked your spouse and they said yes. It's cheating if they said no, or gave a noncommittal answer, or if you went behind their back and did it and hoped they wouldn't find out. Especially with the excuse of not feeling fulfilled, but having done nothing to sort things out with your partner before resorting to extramarital stuff.
Aquanova
Well-Known Member
I personally see cheating as really wrong. Its the ultimate disrespect in my opinion. If someone cheats it means they have no respect for the person they are with or the relationship, if they did, they wouldnt go outside it. I would never cheat on anyone. If you want to be with someone else, dont go behind your partner's back. Break up with them and pursue other people.
granted those things dont always count as cheating but sometimes they do.
but the problem isnt things that people dont count as cheating but the thing that people do count as cheating. ie. sleeping with someone without your spouse's knowledge etc.
the problem isnt what counts as cheating but: is cheating wrong?
Things that "count" as cheating, and yours or your partner's views on it, are entirely subjective. Some people are more lenient and forgiving about it than others, and some would dump anyone who cheated on them without looking back and feel completely burned by it. Everyone has different boundaries and ways to feel like their trust has been violated, you know?
We have been talking a lot about the mindset of the person who cheats, though, which is really what interests me more -- everyone's view on fidelity and breach of romantic trust is going to be different, and there's a whole other topic in why people resort to cheating, whether they feel it's right or not (and why they do it anyway if they don't), and what could theoretically be done about it.
We have been talking a lot about the mindset of the person who cheats, though, which is really what interests me more -- everyone's view on fidelity and breach of romantic trust is going to be different, and there's a whole other topic in why people resort to cheating, whether they feel it's right or not (and why they do it anyway if they don't), and what could theoretically be done about it.
BJPalmer85
Well-Known Member
This is exactly what I was thinking!!
I would like to take it even further and ask is the person who does the cheating always at fault? That is an open question I realize but just think about it. I will post what I think later
B
Pesky Persian
Caffeine Queen
We've discussed some things that are kind of moral grey areas (abusive relationships, for example) but under normal monogamous circumstances? Yes,the cheater is at fault. They made that decision and they have to live with the consequences.
はるひ
:)
I've said no. But then, I am not a hardcore ***** so yeah. :]
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