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~ Choice and Consequence ~

Ryano Ra

Verdant Vitality
^^!

YAY! FINALLY! YAY! W00T!

You know how much of a fan I am for Tynan. Despite his very creative language license in his mouth, I love his personality. The Fuchsia City completely creeped him out and owned him, especially when Janine came in. ^^ I actually could see Flareon using Smokescreen, so I had no problems there. Looks like both of his pokemon are more versatile and competitive than in the original chapter (I believe it was the 8th chapter in the old version. Yes, I have a good memory with this story. xD!) I loved every bit of the action, and the return of that infamous Ariados and Crobat. Excellent. Just excellent. I also liked that little part about Koga and the dream with Lt. Surge. Very interesting, but portrayed fantastically. As for how you are able to hit Koga's personality to the teeth is beyond my imagination, but I'm envious. @_@;

*throws Lance cookies and plushies everywhere* Partay in the Clouds !
 

Flannery

Fire PkMn Trainer
I had been waiting for this! ^.^
Thanks for posting it despite your busy schedule.

This chapter wasn't sucky in any way. Where did you see that? o.0I like the fact that we got to see more of Tynan. x] It doesn't look like he enjoyed his stay at the Fushia gym at all. You've got a great ability of passing a character's emotions through your text. What Janine said was humiliating for the poor guy. >< I wonder is he's actually go back in there? I loved the action, he was quite lucky at times, or lucky that Marrow was there.
I like the way you're portraying Koga, as well as all of the characters. We can feel the differences in their personalities. It gives a unique aspect to each of them, something writers sometimes fail at, but that you completly master. I hope we'll see a bit of Keegan in the next chap.!
The description was flawless, as usual. I couldn't say anything bad about this, I wouldn't even come close to writing something like that. It's brilliant! =)
 
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purple_drake

E/GL obsessed
Bay:

Cool Keegan got a Butterfree and very fun seeing how she used that Pokemon.

Yeah, I'll admit, I love the move Sleep Powder. XP Sooo much potential for mischief, and unfortunately underrated in game mechanics. Although that doesn't stop me from using it. XP

Ninjas rock. XD

They do indeed. :3

I assume that’s why Raikou appeared at the beginning of the story?

:3

...well, it's not all that much of a spoiler, I suppose. XD If you've seen the Special episode 'Raikou: Legend of Thunder', then that should explain the background of that incident for you. :3 *likes making connections*

There’s one thing I was confused about, though. At the ending of Janine and Tynan’s battle I’m confused what happened and who won (though jirachiman876 did mention Janine pwning him XD). Sorry to ask. ^^;

Don't be sorry. XD Your confusion is probably a result of the badness of that scene's ending... that's the part I was most unhappy with, actually.

There's no clearcut winner, really. Flareon hit the wall and accidentally opened a trick door which Tynan used to escape. The use of Protect by his pokemon was to cover his back while he left. However, the fact that he ran rather than finish the battle means that technically Janine won. Whether or not he could have gotten his act together and won eventually is up in the air, but the odds probably would have been against him.

After that Janine let him go because she didn't consider him worth her time battling again at his current skill level. ^.^; Hope that clears some stuff up.

Glad to see you're still around, and that you enjoyed that chapter. ^^ Thanks for reviewing!


Ryano: Yus, woot! ^^

Ahahaha, I'm loving Tynan. ^^ He was so flat in the original, now he's actually got personality, and it's so much fun to write. He really doesn't know what he's doing; he's out of his field right now, but things are going to happen in the near future to completely destroy his way of thinking and force him to consider who he really is and what he wants to be. So yus, big plans for him. >D Stay tuned.

That little bit with Lt. Surge and Sabrina was actually a flashback more than a dream... I guess you thought the latter because I said he opened his eyes afterwards? Well, they were supposed to be closed in thought, not sleep. ^.^;; Oh well!

Fwee! *glomps Lance plushie and scoffs cookies* ^^ Thaaaaaaaaaankies~


Flannery: Hello~!

Sorry I didn't reply to your last PM. ^.^;; At the time I honestly thought I could get the chapter out within the next few days (as a substitute for an actual answer :p ), but it didn't happen and then I just kept hoping it wouldn't take long... and then weeks had passed.

Well, I guess it still just feels a little rough around the edges, especially the final scene and the end of Janine and Tynan's battle. XD

Yes, we're going to be seeing a lot more of Tynan now that I've revamped the plot somewhat. :3 Muahahaha. And yeah, Janine was pretty harsh, wasn't she? XD You can tell she's Koga's daughter, they don't exactly seem to hold back, do they?

Don't worry, plenty of Keegan in the next chapter. ^^ And I'm sure you're not that bad of a writer--besides, practice makes perfect. I wasn't very good either. XD

*glomps* You're way to kind to me! *showers with dragonite cookies* Thanks so much for reviewing! ^^
 

Ryano Ra

Verdant Vitality
Ryano: Yus, woot! ^^

Ahahaha, I'm loving Tynan. ^^ He was so flat in the original, now he's actually got personality, and it's so much fun to write. He really doesn't know what he's doing; he's out of his field right now, but things are going to happen in the near future to completely destroy his way of thinking and force him to consider who he really is and what he wants to be. So yus, big plans for him. >D Stay tuned.

That little bit with Lt. Surge and Sabrina was actually a flashback more than a dream... I guess you thought the latter because I said he opened his eyes afterwards? Well, they were supposed to be closed in thought, not sleep. ^.^;; Oh well!

Fwee! *glomps Lance plushie and scoffs cookies* ^^ Thaaaaaaaaaankies~
Ooohh that was a flashback? XD Yeah I definitely thought Koga was dreaming, but I reread that bit and figured out that it was better as a flashback than a dream. But yeah, Tynan's personality is attaching to me greatly and I'm loving him. But needless to say, Keegan is by far the most important and favorite character thus far. I wonder when she and Tynan'll meet up again. ^.^
 

Sike Saner

Peace to the Mountain
Yes, it's been a year since I last updated. *hides behind Lance*

If it's any consolation, it's been more than a year and a half since my last update. XD;

Anyway... First of all, I loved all of Brother's terms for things and places. ^^ "Town of Ensnarement" and "Path of Turning Circles" are my personal favorites. ^^ Little touches like that... they just really seem to impart this great otherness to the character. I'm by no means saying that different names for things is something that must be present in order to make a non-human character seem non-human; what I am saying is that in this case, it really does seem, to me at least, to have a beneficial effect towards helping Brother really seem something other than human. ^^

I am really liking Marowak as a character. ^^ Heh, it's definitely a good thing that Tynan brought that Marowak out for the occasion, I'd say--things would surely have gone considerably worse for Tynan if that Marowak hadn't been there looking out for him. X3 I especially loved it when he had to bring Tynan back to his senses--with his club. XD That was great, I thought. X3

Speaking of Tynan, I found him to be quite the source of entertainment in that chapter. :D His little bloopers and brain-farts were one main part of the reason I enjoyed reading about him so much in this chapter; the other main part of the reason came in the form of a number of the thoughts that ran through his head (the part when he was mentally declaring certain people to be nuts being a prime example X3).

I loved the mansion scenes. ^^ I really enjoyed the eerie, suspenseful sort of air that hung over the place, and also really enjoyed all the great "oh, ****!" moments as Tynana and Marowak came across each of the traps--especially great was when all those Voltorb entered the picture. :D

And great handling of Koga as a character once again. ^^ Great handling of all the gym leaders depicted in that chapter, for that matter. ^^

But the legends-damned sky-water washed away any chance of picking up that familiar and loathed scent, warm and spicy, tempered by the tang of salt.

Nice description of that scent. ^^

The abrupt howl made Tynan recoil in surprise as a darting figure of yellow and pitch-black exploded from the foliage lining the thin path. The young man swore heavily, instinctively dodging away from it with soggy footsteps, casting up sheets of mulch and water.

The figure—an umbreon?! Tynan thought incredulously—skidded across the width of the track, fur bristling wildly and fangs bared in a snarl, its tail and swept-back ears quivering with hostility. Without pausing for breath it launched itself at Tynan in a flurry of leaves.

****!

"****!" indeed--I imagine it would indeed be pretty frightening to have a creature just burst out the bushes and pounce like that. o_o;

The umbreon came down on soft paws, head drawn back as shadows built in its throat, wisped over its muzzle, and Tynan’s heart jolted in recognition. Shadow Ball—

Ah, Shadow Ball... It's one of those attacks that tends to look really good in text, in my opinion, as it did there. ^^

With a hiss through gritted teeth which may or may not have been a curse Tynan jerked instinctively back to avoid the umbreon who sailed past, boots kicking up mulch as he twisted to follow the pokémon’s path, a red-and-white pokéball in his hand and pitched before the umbreon had landed.

It was a second after that that he realized the pokéball he’d just thrown was empty.

****!

XD Nice one, Tynan . X3 Oh, and my brain made sure to supply a nice "wah-wahhhhh..." noise upon my reading about his little blooper there. X3

The Dragon Clan was very secretive about their techniques, the martial clans less so; but the ninjas tended to practise on visiting trainers.

Perhaps it's sadistic of me to say so, but I couldn't help but find that to be awesome. X3

His rain-slick boots slipped on the polished floor when he tried to take the first corner, and with an automatic oath on his lips his hands shot out to snatch for balance. As if on cue there came a howl of warning from Marowak, a second before something hard hit the back of Tynan’s knees, making them buckle.

“Sh—”

He was cut off by an explosion of breath when he hit the floorboards, automatically curling over the twinging shoulder which had landed first. “Maro— the hell—?!” he gasped, head aching slightly with the abrupt change in position.

“Mmmrr,” Marowak rumbled, pointing his bone into the airspace above his trainer. With a slight huff Tynan rolled half onto his back, feet slipping as he tried to push himself up, shoving his bag aside—and finally saw the twinkle of the electrified spinarak web suspended at what had been his chest height.

What… the…? He stared dumbly, unable to reconcile the sight as truth, unable to accept that the ninjas had actually set a trap so dangerous for him. Trick panels and smoke bombs were all well and good, but outright electrocution…?!

Wow... a reason to actually be glad if a Marowak (not a "Markwak" as I'd initially typed, although I now have something of an urge to name the next male Marowak that I obtain "Mark" XD) chucks a bone at you! X3 That was quite a smart and considerate move on Marowak's part. ^^ And that was quite a nasty trap indeed from which Tynan (not "Tynana" as I'd initially typed, which I suspect would be something along the lines of a banana that happens to have a face like Tynan's o_O XD) was narrowly saved. o.o

“Mmarrr!” Marowak jabbed him impatiently on the shoulder, causing the young man to automatically jerk away with a hiss when the club hit developing bruises, snapping him out of his disbelief.

XD Again, I like that Marowak. ^^

He only made the first few steps before Marowak stopped him with an out-thrust paw and a terse grunt. Unthinkingly the trainer froze in place, chest clenching in sudden apprehension and eyes darting around the passageway to find what had given Marowak pause. With a practised flick the dinosaur-like pokémon sent his bone spinning end-over-end down the hall, ripping through glittering spinarak silk with sparks of severed currents, threads trailing like banners behind it. The club struck the wall at the far end of the corridor, dropping to the floor with a clatter and making Tynan twitch.

That was cool, I thought. ^^ I especially liked the image of the sparks flying as the bone tore through those electrified spinarak webs. ^^

A floorboard stirred beneath his foot and his stomach dropped as he froze for the second time in under a minute. You must be joking.

“Marowak…”

Good God, that could not be his voice—his voice wasn’t that high, and his voice didn’t shake—

XD

“Trrrrrrzzzz…”

A high buzz filled the hall, the air almost seeming to vibrate with the sound, counterpointed by the clatter of many round bodies against wood.

Tynan’s back prickled wildly with fearful anticipation, his boots pounding the floor in unison with his heart against his ribs, but he resisted the urge to look back; he knew what they were.

Voltorb! Why the hell did it have to be voltorb—they’re ****ing Bomb Balls

Oh ****... o_o; Yeah, generally speaking, Voltorb showing up is definitely a cue to GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE. X3

No time no time no time—

I liked that; it really emphasized the frantic pace of the Voltorb scene, I thought. ^^

He pushed himself to go faster, his bag dragging at his shoulder and coat flapping behind him, Marowak’s pattering footfalls an accompaniment to the thud of Tynan’s steps and the slight whisper of dragging silk as it clung to their feet.

Nice attention to detail. ^^

Red-faced, Tynan rolled over clumsily, scrabbling into the small room and shoving the hidden door closed with his feet as Marowak darted in, snatching up his bone club when he swept past where it lay. The trainer caught a glimpse of the red-and-white mob packing the corridor beyond—I was right, they’re voltorb—and his stomach twisted violently with a terrifying realization—it’s not gonna stop them, it didn’t stop me and it won’t stop them and they’ll explode and I’m a goner—automatically scrambling back from the crackling juggernaut.

Yep, I would definitely say that Voltorb belong on the list of things by which I would not want to be chased... o_o; And I liked the way Tynan's thoughts are written there; I thought it really made it seem like their pace was quickened by fear.

“Mmrrr,” Marowak grunted, accompanied by the scrape of tough hide on timber, and Tynan took a deep, shaky breath, deliberately pushing away the thought of just how close he’d been to those explosions. ****, but they didn’t teach me anything about this at the University!

XD

I don’t know what the hell I was thinking when I decided to do this, he thought bitterly as he bent down to scoop up his bag. These people are nuts. That Keegan girl is nuts. The League is ****ing nuts!

XD Yep, Tynan's mind certainly amused the heck out of me in that chapter. X3

“Mmaarraww!”

Something hit him on the back of the legs and Tynan jumped, his heart leaping to his throat as he whirled around, his penlight wavering over an impatient-looking Marowak. The dinosaur pokémon grunted as though to say ‘finally!’, pointing impatiently with his bone at the opposite wall.

For a moment Tynan couldn’t see what the big deal was, but then the beam from his penlight played over the wood in just the right way and he saw the fracture-thin shadow that was the seam between door and jamb. He resisted the urge to slap his head, feeling his cheeks warm in embarrassment. A second door. I should’ve thought of that.

XD Indeed. And yet again I say, I LIKE THAT MAROWAK. :D

“It’s just that it’s usually the trainer who commands the pokémon, rather than the other way around.”

What the ****ing hell does that mean?!

It means, Tynan, that if it weren't for Marowak and his ability to keep his wits about him when you couldn't, your *** would have been grass. X3

Janine shook the pokéstar at the dinosaur, the pokémon watching her carefully. “He’s the one making the decisions—he’s the one who warned you about the ariados webs, he’s the one who blocked the door, he’s the one who got you out of the antechamber, all without your help.”

The turquoise-haired boy flushed, opening his mouth to defend himself, but Janine wasn’t finished. “He’s the one who’s done just about everything, and you’ve just been following his lead.”

Quoted for truth. :D

Holding his breath and blinking rapidly against the thick, ashy haze, Tynan pulled hard at his restraints. With only a little pressure they snapped, charred and weakened by Flareon’s downplayed Will-O-Wisp. He shook them off, counting himself lucky that it had been Flareon. He had spent a lot of time training with the eeveelution to maximise his speed and efficiency by preparing moves while still in the pokéball and taking advantage of their opponents’ delays and his own attacks.

He chose to ignore the similarity in that method with the ninja’s own techniques.

X3

“We need an exit,” he said hoarsely, the lightly burned skin of his face pulling slightly as he spoke. Preferably not the one we came in by.

Marowak snorted in an ‘well that’s obvious’ manner, his bone returning to him in a waft of smoke and slapping into his paw.

Marowak's response was great, I thought. X3

The ariados shot a thread to the ceiling, gliding upwards on a glistening cord of silk and avoiding the worst of the flames. There came a puff of embers as the bone came hurtling from the roiling streamer of fire, echoed by a blaze of sparks as Flareon exploded out in a Quick Attack, fur ablaze with red and gold veins of fire.

Nice imagery. ^^

Then: “Protect!” he roared to both his pokémon as Marowak caught his bone with a grunt and Flareon landed on a patch of cleared floor, primly shaking ash off his paws. Two heads cocked towards their trainer in response to his order, and then the corner was cast with double films of fragmented green light.

A second later the first one rippled and shattered beneath the pounding of sludge bombs, purple gunk splattering over wood and web. The second hummed and splintered the way of the other as Pin Missiles hailed down upon it, but shards of light fizzled to nothingness only on shimmering silk, the panel in the wall swinging ever so slightly and the sound of running footsteps muffled by thick walls.

More nice imagery, and also a nice escape on the part of Tynan and his Pokémon. ^^

That chapter was a lot of fun. :D I'll be back to read the next. ^^
 

purple_drake

E/GL obsessed
If it's any consolation, it's been more than a year and a half since my last update.

It is a bit; at least I know I'm not the only one who's lousy with a timetable. XD

Anyway... First of all, I loved all of Brother's terms for things and places. ^^ "Town of Ensnarement" and "Path of Turning Circles" are my personal favorites. ^^ Little touches like that... they just really seem to impart this great otherness to the character. I'm by no means saying that different names for things is something that must be present in order to make a non-human character seem non-human; what I am saying is that in this case, it really does seem, to me at least, to have a beneficial effect towards helping Brother really seem something other than human. ^^

Fwee, thank you! ^^ I love using new terminology, but I'm always wary of it seeming like it's just thrown in there... that would be disappointing, considering I've actually put quite some effort into thinking about how to showcase pokemon's 'otherness', as you say. Brother's not the only one who uses those terms, he's just the first one who really had the opportunity to showcase them.

I am really liking Marowak as a character. ^^ Heh, it's definitely a good thing that Tynan brought that Marowak out for the occasion, I'd say--things would surely have gone considerably worse for Tynan if that Marowak hadn't been there looking out for him. X3 I especially loved it when he had to bring Tynan back to his senses--with his club. XD That was great, I thought. X3

Ahahahaha, well, Marowak was actually owned and trained by Tynan's father in his days as a trainer, so that little dinosaur has quite a bit of experience to draw upon--much, much more than Tynan, that's for sure. I guess you can say he's kind of a 'bodyguard'--around to make sure Tynan doesn't get into too much trouble, or at least has someone who can get him out of it. :p Because he knows Tynan's so green, he doesn't exactly have much patience for him... yes, he's a fun character. XP

Speaking of Tynan, I found him to be quite the source of entertainment in that chapter. His little bloopers and brain-farts were one main part of the reason I enjoyed reading about him so much in this chapter; the other main part of the reason came in the form of a number of the thoughts that ran through his head (the part when he was mentally declaring certain people to be nuts being a prime example X3).

Well, like I said just before, Tynan's really really green. XP He's studied about pokemon at the university and even raised and bred them in the same setting, but has no experience in the real world, as a travelling trainer. Because of that, even though he's a fairly good strategist, he doesn't know how to improvise very well simply because he's never had to. So yus, he's going to have a very interesting journey. XP

And lol, yeah, I liked that line in particular too. XD

And great handling of Koga as a character once again. ^^ Great handling of all the gym leaders depicted in that chapter, for that matter. ^^

I actually didn't particularly like the final scene, with Koga and the others. XD A lot of it came from the original and it didn't seem particularly... iono, full, I guess. Janine was really fun though... does she count as a gym leader? XD

Thanks a ton, I'm glad you're still around! *glomps* I'm already working on the next chapter, and it's coming along decently well considering. :3 No predictions as to when it'll be out, though... although at this rate it'll be way before a year is up, so no worries! XD
 
I thought the scene with Lt. Surge, Sabrina and Koga was very well written, in fact. And Janine's scene with Tynan was not just fun, but funny. Especially when she chastises him for language.

I've enjoyed this story a lot. The character's have distinct personalities, and some interact with bizarre consequences (Janine and Tynan, for instance). I probably should criticize this instead of just praising it, but I can't find anything that bothers me. Great job!
 

Air Dragon

Ha, ha... not.
Step by step plan for late reviews

Step 1: Begin by sayin' Sorry for being late, cuz if you don't it's like you don't care...

Step 2: Review...

So, my main forte, grammar check, yielded no major errors, but if there were, someone'll be bound to spot them.

Somehow, I enjoyed reading how much Tynan struggled with the Fuschia Gym and Janine's lecture afterwards on just how much of an unreliable (it rhymes with tick and starts with a p) he was compared to Marowak.

Interesting battle too, and with Aqua and Magma moving into Johto, Koga may not be the only one considering a round trip to the western part of the pokemon world...

All in all, this was rather fun to read, and i eagerly await what happens next. Sorry again for the late review, I have so much stuff to review and beta, that i lose track of some fics before i remember the others.

L@er!
 

SnoringFrog

Well-Known Member
Ok, first things first.

HOLYCRAPPURPLEDRAKESBACKANDITSBEENALMOSTAYEARANDITHOUGHTITWASGONEYAY! *ahem* Yeah...I really thought this was gone, kinda randomly popped into SPPF to check a PM, and saw this on my updated threads list.

The Woodland of Bondage was nearby, and with it, the Town of Ensnarement. They were the icons of the area—that girl, that human, she was sure to have gone there.

But the legends-damned sky-water washed away any chance of picking up that familiar and loathed scent, warm and spicy, tempered by the tang of salt. He couldn’t follow her through the Path of Turning Circles, had lost her trail in the Woodlands because of the weather, could only assume that she had been to the Town of Ensnarement.

Now she was gone, and Bairn, sweet, frail Bairn, had gone with her.

And he didn’t know where.

O Guiding Light, show me where the Stained has walked, so I may seek my pack, my litter-mate, my brother, he thought despairingly, casting the prayer up to the heavens for the Guardian to hear.
Woodland of Bondage, Town of Ensnarement, sky-water, Path of Turning Circles, Stained...I love how Brother names things, really serves to give him more of an...untamed? feel. Although, what is the Path of Turning Circles? Would that be Cycling Road?

Wow...I actually forgot how good this story was, lol. Reading the first half of chatper 7 ((or is this 8? I don't remember...)) just has me...wow. I don't remember how much of this was in the original and how much is new, but either way it's still pretty darn amazing. Loved the whole section with Tynan. Now I'm giong to stop typing and get back to reading.

The slender young woman merely sighed and flipped her long blue-black hair back over the shoulder of her short-sleeved dress.

“You heard me,” she answered unemotionally, crossing her arms over the glaring red ‘R’ on the front of her dress, the long black sleeves playing a stark contrast to the white material. “He has no place in my squadron. He failed to complete his mission and allowed his team-mate to be captured with potentially dangerous information in hand.”
Is it short sleeved or long sleeved? And already at this point I love the characterization of both Surge and Sabrina. Despite the fact that they've only been involved for 3 paragraphs, you managed a hefty amount of unwritten info in there.

“So,” Koga murmured, tucking his chin down in thought, his darkened room shadowing his eyes to the others. “They finally decided that Johto was too much a temptation.” His chest was tight with tension; he didn’t know much about the Aquas, but where the Aquas went, so did—

He cut that train of thought off before it became dangerous, and lifted his face to meet Sabrina’s raised eyebrow and appraising gaze.
Even if you did just say it, I forgot about Sabrina being psychic; love that Koga is aware enough to actually catch himself mid-thought like that in her presence though.

Amazing work, as always. Not really sure what else to say, but I'm uber-happy this is back. Can't wait for more of it ((which, if it's on the next page of the thread...Serbii's being mean and not letting me see that right now, so I'll have to go to "The Good Fight" that I opened in another tab earlier, or get to that homework I was trying to do...haha))
 

purple_drake

E/GL obsessed
Hey, I have reviews. XD


esninetalespeon: Hah, it's probably just me then. XD And I love Janine. I want to write more Janine. She is pwesomness.


Air Dragon: *waves* Hewwo!

Heh, well, no complaints about late reviews from me. Otherwise I could only be known as a hypocrite. ^.^;

Yeah, Tynan's not very reliable right now. XD He'll get there; he just needs some experience.

Glad to see you're still around!


SnoringFrog:

HOLYCRAPPURPLEDRAKESBACKANDITSBEENALMOSTAYEARANDIT HOUGHTITWASGONEYAY! *ahem* Yeah...I really thought this was gone, kinda randomly popped into SPPF to check a PM, and saw this on my updated threads list.

Wow, people get so excited over this story. ^.^; It makes me feel guilty and flattered in equal amounts. Sorry to make you think it was gone... I know I'm slow, but I'm a tenacious little--*cough*--thing, so don't worry about the story dying. If it did (which it won't, 'cos I've spent far too much time and energy on it) I'd definitely say something.


Although, what is the Path of Turning Circles? Would that be Cycling Road?

It is indeed. ;)


Wow...I actually forgot how good this story was, lol. Reading the first half of chatper 7 ((or is this 8? I don't remember...)) just has me...wow. I don't remember how much of this was in the original and how much is new, but either way it's still pretty darn amazing. Loved the whole section with Tynan. Now I'm giong to stop typing and get back to reading.

It's, uhm... *checks* chapter 7. :p

Well, the actual happenings were all in the original, but in different places or portrayed differently. Tynan's capture of Brother was in about chapter 5, I think (which I think was the original draft's chapter 6/7). The talk between the gym leaders was something like chapter 11.

Tynan's meeting with Janine was in the original too, but it was very different (Janine wasn't nearly as mature, and Tynan was more of a jack*ss for another). Plus, he didn't trip any traps--I think I pretty much skipped any description of him roaming the house and got straight to the confrontation. Much more fun this way, don'tcha think? :p


Is it short sleeved or long sleeved? And already at this point I love the characterization of both Surge and Sabrina.

Both, technically. XD She's wearing a short-sleeved white dress over a long-sleeved black top (which is an absolutely chore to describe because of potential repetition/wordiness, especially when I'm trying to insert it subtly into an action and she's just standing there). *makes a note to clarify in her next edit*


Even if you did just say it, I forgot about Sabrina being psychic; love that Koga is aware enough to actually catch himself mid-thought like that in her presence though.

Yanno, I didn't even think of that? XD They're talking over video-phones, and I figure even a powerful psychic like Sabrina can't read minds over radio waves, so his stopping his thought is more of a... 'this thought will potentially lead me to begin doubting myself so I had better stop thinking such things so I can perform my duty'.

I think she'd probably have trouble reading his mind anyway; true, his type-specialty has a direct disadvantage, but I figure the ninja would be aware of such a weakness and incorporate some kind of anti-mind-reading training into their daily regime (I think I called it 'the art of mind-closure' in the original).

Glad you enjoyed it, and I'm working on the next chapter, really I am! :p G'luck with your homework, lol (funfunfun, eh?).
 
Having re-read this more than is probably healthy, I noticed that somewhere in Chapter 5, Tynan, in his thoughts, refers to his Dad as Da.

And, on a completely unrelated note, will Keegan ever call Simon, like she said she would? It's probably just me, but I still want to know.

I now realize that there are many questions I want to ask about this story. Here goes (nothing).

1) How long was Tynan's father a trainer?

2) Will we see more of Ross (and Miriam, and Pete)?

3) Where will Keegan travel after Fuchsia?
 

purple_drake

E/GL obsessed
esninetalespeon:

Having re-read this more than is probably healthy, I noticed that somewhere in Chapter 5, Tynan, in his thoughts, refers to his Dad as Da.

But rereading things is fun! XD *has a few favourite 30-or-more-chapter stories which she's reread God-only-knows how many times*

'Da' is actually a word and an alternate (and colloquial, but I'm not sure just which region it's from) way of referring to one's father ... my brother uses it all the time with our dad. ^^ I thought it suited Tynan more than the formal 'Father', and 'Dad' was far too affectionate and casual.


And, on a completely unrelated note, will Keegan ever call Simon, like she said she would? It's probably just me, but I still want to know.

This subject bugs me, because I'm as forgetful as Keegan is about it. XD I have thought of it, though, and I really do intend on it happening, I just have to figure out where.


1) How long was Tynan's father a trainer?


I'm not sure; Tynan's father doesn't have time to chat about inanities like his past with a uni-student who's far too much into writing and doesn't even work. XD Interesting question, though; you're making me find to more myself.

That said, I do know that Tynan's father turns out to be surprisingly important later on. :3



2) Will we see more of Ross (and Miriam, and Pete)?

'See', no; you might hear them, if I ever figure out when Keegan can make that phone call.

But that's only in CaC. The sequel is another matter.


3) Where will Keegan travel after Fuchsia?

That's for me to know~

And you to not. >D



General update: The next chapter is about half-finished, guys. I'm not exactly busy with RL anymore, but there are a few stories trying to mug me, and I'm getting pulled in a few different directions ... I need a whip and a chair to keep these things under control. They're not bunnies, they're flipping lions and tigers!
 
But rereading things is fun! XD *has a few favourite 30-or-more-chapter stories which she's reread God-only-knows how many times*

Yes, it is... But I reread things to the point of insanity and beyond! Also, with a five-day break that I had when I posted, imagine how much I might have read.

'Da' is actually a word and an alternate (and colloquial, but I'm not sure just which region it's from) way of referring to one's father ... my brother uses it all the time with our dad. ^^ I thought it suited Tynan more than the formal 'Father', and 'Dad' was far too affectionate and casual.

That's today's little piece of knowledge for me. And, judging from Tynan's attitude, Dad does seem too affectionate.

That said, I do know that Tynan's father turns out to be surprisingly important later on. :3

If you didn't know these things, I'd be worried for this story's future.

That's for me to know~

And you to not. >D

At this point, the sane part of me is screaming "I TOLD YOU SO!!!", but I didn't expect an answer.

They're not bunnies, they're flipping lions and tigers!

I can find a good lion and tiger tamer if you want.
 

Kayote's Bane

What ARE you doing?
Hum... I was debating with myself whether to post a comment or not, so I actually had to fly over to reread the rules really quickly and seeing how it hasn't been thirty days yet, I think this is legal...

Anyhow, PD, not too sure if you remember me or not, because if you've reposted both HotM and this, then my comments might not have survived. Or I may have never have commented, I simply can't remember- but I do remember this story and when it first came out. It seems to have been forever, and I've occasionally dropped around to see if my favorite fanfictions would survive. I'm glad this is, so far. ^^

I can help you tame lions! *Gets out chairs*

Anyways, this is beautiful work and it's kept me coming back for quite a while so please update soon! ^^
 

purple_drake

E/GL obsessed
A/N: Okay, so at least it's been less than a year, just like I promised. ^.^;

Quickly: Hi, Kayote's Bane! I don't believe you did review the last copy, but welcome back and I'm glad you're still enjoying it. ^^

Now: You guys can consider this chapter in two lights: either as a slightly early birthday present for Flannery (happy birthday! See, deadlines help me get things done!) or as a slightly late gift from me to you for my birthday, in true Hobbitish fashion.

Either way, enjoy what there is to enjoy, and feedback is very much appreciated, since there are some things in here I'm not entirely sure about … but then, I have gotten into stuff I haven't written before, so I supposed it's part and parcel of walking a story's new ground.

Oh, warning for swearing in this chapter.


~ VIII ~
UNDER THE ROCKETS’ RED GLARE

‘OOF!’

Keegan’s foot caught on a stubby bush and she stumbled, making pebbles skid everywhere until she caught her balance. ‘Stupid trees … can they even be called trees?’ she wondered, kicking the foliage belligerently.

‘Frii friiiii~’ Bramble singsonged, then tittered madly as she twirled in the air overhead, her wings glittering in the sporadic sunlight.

‘Oh, shut it, you,’ Keegan muttered, hopping over a loose rock and almost skidding on the gravel behind it. A second later she had to duck suddenly as the butterfree’s wings grazed her hair, the pokémon drifting down the steep and craggy mountain on the breeze before performing a mocking twirl.

‘Bram-ble,’ Keegan sighed, but didn’t have the energy to tell the pokémon off, her legs past the point of aching and into the realm of feeling downright rubbery. Down at her feet, Hazel huffed in discontent, her ears moving back in irritation before flickering to a neutral upright position as the butterfree fluttered nearer to them once again.

Keegan didn’t know what she’d been expecting when she took the butterfree with her, but what she got hadn’t been part of it. The pokémon had been quite willing to battle with her in the Safari Zone, and she hadn’t exactly been disobedient since, but there was attitude there. Keegan didn’t think it was because the butterfly was angry with being taken from her home—in fact, when she’d released her for the first time in the Fuchsia Pokémon Centre Bramble had been nothing less than enthralled with all the new things she could look at (and almost been chomped on by an irate and stir-crazy nidoqueen when she turned out to be too much of a nuisance). Same for when they got to Cinnabar (minus the nidoqueen-chomping. This time it was a houndour).

I think it’s just because she doesn’t like being talked back to. Or didn’t like being told what to do unless it was something that coincided with what she wanted to do.

Keegan’ stomach flip-flopped as she made this realisation, watching the butterfree glide along on the wind while she herself trudged down the non-existent path, a pang beginning to grow in her side. Uh oh. She could turn out to be more of a problem in battle than I thought.

Especially considering how many of said battles had, in the past, turned out to be double or even triple matches. Bram had had plenty of time to meet with the rest of the team while they waited out the storm in Fuchsia City, and thus far the outlook hadn’t been encouraging. Firefoot had been a bit bemused, though quite willing to make friends, but he was about the only one. While Tarn was adjusting well to the arcanine once he became sure the massive dog wouldn’t be going around stepping on him (not deliberately, anyway), Bramble’s dominant nature, combined with her energy, seemed to intimidate him, and it was an issue Keegan couldn’t see going away as easily as the former had.

That same dominant nature, on the other hand, had pegged Hazel instantly as Bram’s rival, and sparks had flown between them ever since. Keegan wished she could say the butterfree was ‘mischievous’, but ‘catty’ was probably the better term. At least Hazel’s trying to be mature about this.

Mature, right. If sitting/perching at opposite sides of a room and staring at one another for hours on end could be called mature.

I think what Hazel’s most annoyed at is how Bram treats me, though.

Not that Bram treated Keegan badly, just not with the respect that Hazel apparently thought was appropriate.

Why did I decide to keep Bram, again? I didn’t leave Alto Mare to capture pokémon.

Because if you had let her go you would have had to go out into the middle of the storm and back into the Safari Zone?

Oh yeah …


Just leaving the butterfree at the Pokémon Centre to be released later by Nurse Joy had seemed too much of a slap in the face after the battle they’d shared in the Safari Zone (no matter that said battle had turned out to be a disaster). Every time Keegan flexed her hand she would remember that; the way the butterfree had saved her, and then saving the butterfree in return …

Releasing her at all would have seemed like a slap in the face. Or over the antenna. Or whatever.

At least she’d had time to think about what to do; the ferries had been stopped for three days due to the storm passing over, and even if they hadn’t been she might have stayed in Fuchsia anyway, just to give herself time to rest up. Her hand wasn’t bad, Nurse Joy had reassured her, but it had been painful and heavily bruised at the time and would probably remain achy for a week or so.

In the present, Keegan absently flexed her fist in a motion that was almost second nature now, testing just how stiff her fingers were. Nurse Joy had told her she wouldn’t have to see a doctor—which had been rather a bucketful of ice, since Keegan had never even considered what might happen if she had an injury as bad as that—but the nurse had still made her write down a list of common painkillers, right after making sure the girl’s first-aid bag carried a bottle of one of them.

Then Keegan had boarded a ferry as soon as the storm had passed over, relieved enough to be leaving Fuchsia (and creepy Koga) behind that she almost hadn’t minded being on the ocean again.

It was two days after that, the sky still overcast and threatening rain and the sheer humidity of the island making the idea of hiking less than exciting. But it’s better than being in Fuchsia, and at least I’m making steps forward.

… Hah!
She snorted in between puffing for air, jumping almost nimbly from one rock to another and automatically checking her feet to make sure Hazel had enough space to follow. She’d asked all over town for directions to the gym, and all they could really tell her was that it had burned down a year or so ago.

But they also told me that trainers still come to challenge Blaine and leave with badges in hand, so he has to be around here somewhere.

‘Somewhere’ wasn’t close enough, she decided as the path began to wind past an outcropping which cast several feet of shadow, and the girl detoured up slightly to sit against it. It was with a half-sigh, half-groan that she slid to the pebbly ground, stretching out her legs.

Really the only drawback, Keegan reflected as she shook off her bag-strap, was that the humidity of the island meant the shade didn’t offer much in the way of coolness. The warmth of the rock doesn’t help either.

‘Bii.’ With a grunt Hazel settled by Keegan’s leg, automatically kneading the hard stone beneath her and swishing her tail around her side. For some long moments they just rested, Keegan’s breath slowly evening out along with the fading stitch in her ribs as they watched the blue and glittering white figure that was Bram flitting this way and that against the overcast sky. The butterfree vanished behind a crag and Keegan tilted her head back against the warm rock, staring straight up into the sky as she stroked Hazel absently. Despite the grey clouds and likelihood of rain—again—it was quiet and relatively still and, for once, peaceful.

It didn’t last.

Bram had only been gone for a minute or two when abruptly she came shooting back into the airspace in front of them. ‘Brriiifriii!’ she shrilled, her voice thin and slightly echoing.

What the? Keegan blinked confusedly at the butterfly pokémon as she sped nearer, her tiny claws waving frantically and her small body doing an urgent twirl, darting this way and that, back and forth. ‘Fuuriiiiiiiiiiiiiii!’

‘Eeebuui?’ Hazel’s long ears perked up and she scrambled to her paws, glancing uncertainly towards the crags the butterfree had disappeared behind. That was about when Keegan realised Bram’s constant dance was in that direction, and her tiny paws kept motioning towards the rocks.

The girl’s stomach plummeted while her heart leapt, dual thoughts running through her mind:

She’s found the gym!

What the hell’s up
now?

With a mixture of dread and excitement Keegan clambered to her feet and heaved her bag onto her shoulder, automatically dusting herself off before following Hazel’s nervously whisking tail towards the contour-pretending-to-be-a-path that led behind the crags.

It wasn’t long before they heard the echo of unrecognisable voices resounding through the thin hive of gorges which lay further around the mountain, and Keegan felt a pang of apprehension.

Maybe … it’s some gym trainers?

Not likely.


Fingering her pendant absently, shoes stepping lightly over rough stone, Keegan followed Bram’s flitting path. The butterfree looked satisfied now she finally had her trainer’s attention, and she almost seemed to vibrate with energy and determination to do … whatever it was she wanted to do.

I have a bad feeling about this.

Have you given any reason to ever give yourself good ones?
The voice dubbed ‘the little fox’ asked dryly, and Keegan grimaced.

Okay, so I’m nosy. I blame you.

Oh yes, blame the imaginary voice in your head, that’s incredibly sane.


The blonde-haired girl shook her head violently. Dammit, why did she have to talk to herself so much? At least she didn’t do it out loud.

To keep herself from rambling at herself inside her own mind she focussed back upon the voices, growing clearer as they were. There were two, both male, but while one was young and light, the other was deeper and gruff with age or adversity.

Keegan was just wondering where she had heard this before—because the déjà vu was nearly overwhelming—when she hurried around a jutting rock-face to find herself on the edge of a ravine and the voices abruptly as clear as the day was dark. She froze, automatically ducking and huddling against the crag, Hazel crowding at her ankles and Bram alighting on the jagged stone with an air that was almost smug, and yet also sharp with anticipation.

‘—if this is a good idea,’ the younger voice was saying, his tone concerned. ‘If we get caught—’

‘It’s our job to make sure we don’t get caught,’ the other, more mature voice said calmly as Keegan shifted quietly to peer over the edge of the rocks mounted on the precipice, eyes swinging this way and that in search. She caught a flash of red—red clothing—and sidled along the edge to get a better look, taking in the scrubby-bushed and stony valley. ‘But we’re to consider all options. You can bet Team Aqua has taken Tohjo into consideration.’

There!

She saw them: two men apparently investigating the rocks and cliff below. They were both clad in a baggy, sleeveless grey uniform, cinched at the waist with a belt. The hems of their pants were secured around their boots by thick red bandages a little like something a ninja might wear. She couldn’t see their faces, obscured as they each were by a hooded red mantle set with demonic-like horns.

‘—dangerous, but it’s about the only volcano not in Hoenn,’ the older man was saying as Keegan tuned back in, although unable to keep from staring at the creepy hoods.

Why would they be interested in volcanoes? she wondered almost absently. Then, what’s with the horns?

‘Mount Silver would likely be even more risky to investigate than this one if it weren’t already dead and any operation based in Mount Ember would need a lot more planning if we’re to catch Moltres in the bargain.’

Wait a minute, what?!

A chill ran down her back, accompanied by the realisation that, once again, she was probably in way over her head. In a knee-jerk reaction she scrambled back against the crag and pressed the heels of her palms to her eyes, her stomach twisting and heart pounding with adrenaline.

If they’re going to catch a Legendary…

A Legendary which isn’t anywhere
near here.

But they know about it, so that means they’re involved, right?


‘Buufurii~’

At Bram’s soft warble Keegan’s head jerked up, just in time to see the butterfree detach herself from the rock and flit into the valley.

‘No, wait! Bram!’ Keegan hissed, but the only answer she received was a gentle twirl and an eyes-screwed-up expression which might have annoyance. Or constipation. Keegan was willing to bet the former.

Dammit! This isn’t a good idea!

Since when has that stopped you?

But all the other times I actually
had to do something!

Oh really?


Slapping a hand to her face with a soundless groan, Keegan bounced a pokéball down to where Hazel was perched, tail swishing wildly, upon the edge of the crag, her eyes huge and round as she stared at the men as though they were fascinating new objects she had never seen before.

The eevee heard the device coming and turned around sharply, her ears flat against her head, but her distressed mew was lost to red light.

‘I know, I know,’ Keegan muttered at the pokéball as she attached it to her belt, swallowing through a tight throat before taking a deep breath and scrambling to her feet. ‘But I can’t leave Bram behind.’

Time to play a game.



Brody sighed, running a hand through his sweaty, shaggy hair, then reflexively tugging his hood lower over his eyes when the movement threatened to push it down. Godda—I mean, ****, it’s hot.

A second later he realised he’d censored his own thoughts and shook his head with a slight chuckle, absently brushing dust off the screen of his radar with a gloved thumb. Out of the corner of his eye he saw his companion turn to raise a thin eyebrow at him from underneath his hood, and grinned. ‘Nothin’.’

Ten years with Larry as my partner, I’m surprised I haven’t kicked the name-in-vain thing entirely.

Larry wasn’t religious, per se—he just had a healthy respect for people’s beliefs, and tried very hard to respect those beliefs in what he did and said. Although—Brody’s grin faded—that was a problem considering what their Team goals were, as Brody consistently pointed out, but whenever he did he almost always regretted it afterward. That was when Larry would look at him with hollow eyes and not say anything, because he didn’t have to ask if Brody had really forgotten those days long past when it hadn’t been a problem but an asset.

Those days before the Magmas had become eco-terrorists.

Brody shook his head violently, trailing in the wake of his partner’s meandering path as the older man examined rock and cliff for weak points in composition. Stop it. Just … just stop thinking.

It had to mean something when he thought of his own Team as terrorists, it had to, but they were his Team and his life and his family and no matter how it made him feel the idea of leaving made him feel worse.

That, he knew, was why Larry stoically kept performing his duties despite the fact that they had long since started to betray his personal moral standards; because no matter what, the Team had begun as something to be proud of. They had given themselves to it, body, heart and soul, and they would continue to give all three if it meant contributing to the Team.

That was why they were there, in the middle of Team Rocket territory—suicidal!—plotting to influence Mount Cinnabar into erupting—unthinkable!—despite the inevitable loss of life and home for the citizens in the town below them—and we say we’re not terrorists?

But Groudon’s power spread with flame and rock and the reach of land, and it wasn’t only Hoenn that Maxie aimed to ‘rescue’ from the influence of the ocean.

He realised he’d put quote marks around the word ‘rescue’ a second later, even in his own mind, and had to stop short and lower his face to take a moment to compose himself, his chest clenched with guilt.

So much for not thinking, he chastised himself bitterly, and rubbed his eyes with his scarlet-wrapped forearm, pretending it was only because of the dust.

The truth was, it didn’t matter what his Leader intended to do.

What mattered was why.

The why that was the reason they continued to serve.

The device in his hand chimed and he blinked in mild surprise, having been staring at it unseeingly with his head still downcast. Oh.

‘I’ve picked up a possible insertion point,’ he said finally, coming aware that he’d stopped and Larry had stopped and was waiting patiently for him to report.

Get your head out of the past and onto the now, you idiot.

It was times like this he almost envied Larry; the man possessed a frightening ability to not think about things which would potentially conflict him.

‘Looks like it goes right into the mountain. If we could just get through, we could follow it all the way into the core.’ He examined the green-lined sketch on the graphed screen. ‘It doesn’t seem too thick. I could use Secret Power if—’ He was interrupted by the snap-fizzle of a releasing pokémon and sighed, shaking his head slightly with weary fondness as he finished unnecessarily, ‘if I had a crack or fissure to work with.’

The orange-haired agent turned around and stepped away, gesturing at the rock wall with a wry twist of his lips.

‘Mmrrrg?’ The magmar behind him tilted her head in slight hesitance, her claws tapping together timidly.

‘Rock Smash,’ Larry told her from further back to avoid the worst of the heat rippling off her flame-patterned body. ‘On the cliff.’

‘Mmrrr.’ Magmar nodded, flexing her fists and stumping forward to the cliff, her blazing tail whipping the air. She drew her arm back, aimed the blow with a squinting eye, and let loose. Her fist impacted the cliff with shattering crunch and a billow of dust which swirled in the faint waver of air around her, hissing as it settled against her red-and-yellow flesh. The rock-face shuddered but held; yet when the dinosaur-like pokémon withdrew her arm there was a lattice of hairline fractures spread where she had connected.

Magmar turned around on a talon, cocking her head with a waver of her flame crests and putting her claws together in faint hopefulness, waiting for approval.

‘That’ll do,’ Brody said without looking up from clipping the radar to his belt, pulling a pokéball off the leather with his spare hand and letting it drop.

It snapped open with red light as there was a drift of breeze and, in a stray shaft of sunlight gleaming over the edge of the ravine, the air behind and above them sparkled green with dust.

‘Use—’

‘Ember!’ Larry shouted of his pokémon, and Brody whirled around away from the crag, his spare hand flashing to a spare pokéball and an automatic command already on his lips.

‘Protect!’

The fractured gleam of the barrier distorted Magmar’s exhaled flames to eerily dancing shadows while a Water Gun—coming from somewhere among the rocks—turned to a darkened splatter on a flickering surface, the steam a short-lived hiss. The heat trapped inside the barricade from the two fire pokémon made the air above them shimmer and seem to come ablaze for a few brief seconds.

Sleep Powder, Brody recognised, just before the Protect splintered and there was a roar of flames not their own.

‘Protect!’ the Magma agent shouted again, eyes scanning the ravine, ignoring the flecks of ash which drifted down on them and the itchy sweat which trickled down the sides of his face.

‘There!’ Larry pinpointed the direction the attack had come from just before the blaze obscured their sight, breaking upon the green barrier and causing it to dissolve. ‘Fire Blast!’

Brody backed to the wall both to avoid the heat and in an attempt to get a clear view, his eyes darting this way and that, blinking rapidly against the sting of ash. Magmar’s Fire Blast crashed against the rocks to the left, but it was a rapid, undulating movement across the centre wall which caught Brody’s attention.

We’re being double-teamed.

The realisation brought nothing but calm; this was what they trained for, this was what he and Larry in particular were good at. Larry worked best on impulse, but Brody was the strategist.

‘Larry. Centre-right, likely the water-type pokémon.’

Larry nodded slightly, his eyes flickering to see Brody’s hand fingering his other pokéball, the motion hidden by the turn of the younger man’s body towards the cliff. The older agent caught his partner’s eyes and he tilted his head slightly in silent acknowledgement.

‘Smokescreen,’ Brody said softly.

Torkoal huffed, inhaled, and a second later the hole in her back geysered smog until they were surrounded by a thick, billowing haze. It pressed against the rock walls, wreathing around piles and formations of stone and obscuring nearly everything.



Keegan clamped a hand over her nose and wiped her watering eyes. Beside her, Firefoot coughed and whined deep in his throat for the horrible stench blocking his senses. Oh damn …!

Her fingers fumbled for Bram’s pokéball—she had managed to return the headstrong butterfree, but only after the men had become aware of their presence and retaliated to the butterfly’s Sleep Powder—and released her into the same mire they were all enveloped by.

‘Frriii,’ Bram screwed up her face in distaste at the murky surroundings, perching on a rock and shaking her wings irritably as though to rid herself of any ash or grime that might cling to her.

‘Whirlwi—’ Keegan began, but Bram had already drawn her wings back and beat the air violently, sending dust and smoke flurrying through the ravine and up into the sky. Keegan flinched and buried her face in her arms to protect herself from the sharp wind, and when there was silence and stillness the girl looked up gingerly, her eyes searching the lingering haze of dust for the men to find—nothing.

‘Viibuuuu!’

Keegan’s heart skipped at the pained cry and she jolted to her feet. Tarn.

Something plummeted out of the sky at Bram, and with a surprised squeal the butterfree threw herself off the rock. Its apex crumbled a moment later beneath the force of the vibrava’s claws, sending up a puff of dirt and pebbles.

Keegan jerked reflexively away from the abrupt appearance of the hostile dragonfly, automatically returning Bram before the irate butterfree could gain her balance on the ground. ‘Bite—’ she started without thinking, but then the girl’s heel caught on a stone and sent her toppling over with a squeak and a whoomph.

Firefoot surged past her in a blur of orange and black, his massive jaws snapping shut on dust as the vibrava beat its wings and sent itself flying backward. Its mandibles clicked and it spat twisting blue—something—something that weren’t flames but couldn’t be described as anything else either—

It ripped into Firefoot—and dispelled the after-image of a Quick Attack, crashing against the rocks behind Keegan. She coughed at the thin debris that flecked down on her, tiny embers making her skin twitch slightly with static.

The vibrava sideslipped, then banked away on the draught of Firefoot’s passing. Keegan pushed herself up, still gripping Bram’s pokéball, her limbs wobbly but willing. She was just rising to her feet when someone seized her shoulder and she instinctively pulled away and around at the same time, her fist striking out at the hand. She caught a glimpse of a shocked, hood-shaded face, right before there was a blur of orange and Firefoot knocked the man away from her, releasing her from his grip with a wrench.

Keegan stumbled, catching her balance by grabbing Firefoot’s ruff before hauling herself up and onto his back. The arcanine’s head was lowered, teeth bared towards the man in a snarl of warning, but the instant he felt Keegan’s weight he shot off in the direction of Tarn’s cry.

Keegan clung to him tightly, her heart pounding, and didn’t look back.

If she had, she might have seen Larry sink, stunned, against a rock and bury his face in one shaking hand.



Rock crunched as Swellow’s Steel Wing cut a swathe in the ground, slicing through the shimmer of the vaporeon’s suddenly illusory form. The water-fox bounded up a rock and back to jump paw-first at Swellow, but the bird used Quick Attack in turn and instead the water pokémon stumbled as it hit the gravel, its injured hind leg buckling.

From the shadow and relative safety of a rock, Brody watched assessingly as Swellow spiralled up on the breeze to gain some height, giving the vaporeon the chance to recover its footing. With a cry the eeveelution lifted its muzzle to the air, light reflecting rainbows off the ice building around its nose.

‘Aerial Ace!’ Brody commanded, and Swellow pulled in her wings to tumble into a corkscrewing dive, missing the Aurora Beam which lanced past her in a dazzle of sunlight—still close enough to coat her topmost feathers with rime. The vaporeon tried to slide away on the ice-dusted floor of the ravine, but it was limping from the injury from Swellow’s initial attack and the exertion of battle combined.

Not that there’s anything that can evade an Aerial Ace anyway.

‘Flame Wheel!’

‘Arrccth!’

An arcanine?! Brody jerked around, surprised—he knew a fire pokémon was likely in the battle for the other side but arcanine were a rarity for the average trainer in Tohjo, let alone Hoenn.

He jumped back, catching himself on the rock, his clothes billowing with heat as an orange-and-black shape swept past, leaving a heat-shimmer in its wake. Swellow flared, wings snapping out, and Brody winced—that had to hurt. The bird managed to catch the heat of the massive dog’s attack and lift herself up on it rather than ram right into it as she would have had she maintained the Aerial Ace. Sure, she would have hurt the arcanine—but she would’ve got a lot more than a few singed tail feathers in return, too.

Not worth it.

‘Quick Att—’

Scarlet light flared, the vaporeon returned, and Brody’s order died on his lips as his eyes properly registered the arcanine’s trainer for the first time: blonde, blue-eyed, with a thin face and thick hair and a flash of red at her throat—

Keegan …?

‘Agility!’

The arcanine sprang aside from Swellow as she flickered past, the bird flaring and banking sharply, almost tumbling when her wing scraped the ground. Nimbly the arcanine leapt over the scattered debris before it, and then with a flick of its dusty white tail and a flash of white-ruffed paws was gone.

They were escaping—they—they had escaped—but Brody’s muscles and vocal chords didn’t seem to want to work to stop it.

He just … couldn't move.

It can’t have been her, he rationalised. It can’t have been her because she’s dead and has been for years and if she’s alive then all of this was for nothing and it can’t have been for nothing because if it was then what are we worth and—

‘Brody,’ a hoarse and broken voice said from somewhere to the side, and then someone coughed and it came again, cleaner, smoother: ‘Brody.’ accompanied by a scuff of dirt and pebbles bouncing off the side of his leg.

‘It wasn’t her,’ Brody said. ‘It wasn’t her, it can’t've been her, it couldn’t, it wasn’t—’

He was shaking—no, he was being shaken, and he snapped out of his transfixed daze to find Larry was before him, his lined face weathered by dust and shock but grey eyes clear—mostly—and determined—desperate.

‘It was her. She had the pendant, Brody, it was her—we have to move, Brody, we can’t let her get away. Forget Cinnabar; Keegan is more important than all the volcanoes in the world.’

Brody took a deep breath, and the world snapped back into place—but it was a different place than it had been five minutes ago. Swellow was crouched on a rock, head cocked with concern; a slight breeze was drifting through the ravine, carrying with it the smell of fire and dampness and burned dust; Larry was waiting for him—again—because he had stopped to think too much—again.

He couldn’t afford to think anymore.

Keegan was alive.

Right then, that was all that mattered.

* * *​

Tynan kicked at the ground. He was frustrated, he was bored, and there was that kind of clammy humidity in the air which made his clothes stick to him and godammit it was annoying.

After spending three days trapped in Fuchsia because of the storm, he’d been happy to get out of the city. As far as he was concerned, Fuchsia City and all its surroundings and especially the gym could go drop off the map into non-existence. He didn’t want to think about what had happened there. He could get by perfectly well without thinking about what had happened there.

Only what had happened there seemed not to want to leave him alone, until as much as he tried not thinking about it, that’s how much he seemed to end up thinking about it, and it was racing around in his mind until his head seemed to throb with Janine’s words.

Because, fuck it all, as much as he didn’t want to admit it, she was right.

Well, she was right about the fact that Marowak had taken the lead. Tynan liked to think that if the assertive (arrogant) dinosaur hadn’t done so he’d have done perfectly well on his own—

But that was the part Tynan knew was a lie.

Then, when he’d reached Cinnabar—about ready to skip and dance with the knowledge he was out of Fuchsia—he had stopped in at the Pokémon Centre and emerged ready for almost anything (except another ninja).

That was when he realised he didn’t have a fucking clue what he wanted to do on Cinnabar. Sure, it was one thing to say you were going to go out and train at gyms, but given his recent experience he wasn’t sure he wanted to go near a gym at the moment (assuming he could even find it, because Blaine was known as a riddler for a reason). And other than that, there wasn’t a whole lot to do on Cinnabar.

There were the hot springs, but he’d been on Cinnabar for two days and had already gone to them, and there was only so much time he could spend soaking before he got bored.

But what annoyed him the most was the realisation that, despite assertions of the contrary, he was still fucking following someone else’s lead. He had been since Celadon. He had wanted to figure out what the hell made trainers like Erika and that Keegan girl so … not strong, he doubted Keegan would last two minutes against Erika, but confident?

Not quite the right word, since he was confident, but he didn’t know how else to describe it.

In any case, he hadn’t known where to start, so he’d followed Keegan. He’d followed her to Fuchsia, and now he’d followed her to Cinnabar, and he hadn’t been following her for long but it still rankled that Janine seemed to be right in more aspects of his life than simple battling. If it could have been called a battle, when he had practically been victimised by the traps in the gym.

Fucking ninja.

So now he was doing just about the only thing he could do while on Cinnabar (because he could have left, but he didn’t know where the hell he would go to next, since he was still, fuck it all, waiting for some kind of cue). He was finding a secluded, open stretch of land (which, considering Cinnabar was an island, there weren’t a whole lot of in general, but it was a fairly big island and managed to hide its gym, so there had to be spaces somewhere) so he could train.

He wasn’t entirely sure how he’d go about doing that either, since most of the training done at the academy had been battling with other students or strategising and not a whole lot of actual individual practice, but he decided he could figure that out when he found a place he liked, and meanwhile he felt as though he was actually doing something under his own steam.

It wasn’t much, but it kept him from feeling like he had to punch out a wall, which was a rather new feeling, all things considered.

With a growl Tynan peeled the front of his shirt away from his body, cursing the humidity and the overcast sky and half wishing it would just rain, dammit, because even though he’d be wet at least it wouldn’t be stuffy. Or as stuffy, anyway. He trudged down the path, rounding an elongated boulder jutting out from beneath a tangle of rocks, weeds and the shrubbery that passed for trees on this god-forsaken oven of an island.

He ended up almost tripping over the very spiffy if slightly dusty motorbike lying on the ground in the pile’s shade. As it was, his toe caught on the tyre, wrenching his ankle slightly, and he spent several seconds hopping, skipping and stumbling over the bikes—there were four of them—to avoid either stepping on them and possibly breaking his ankle as he fell, or just falling over and possible breaking his ankle on the pebbly ground anyway. He resisted the urge to kick the things: with his luck, that would probably just give him a broken toe.

Instead he swore mightily, leaning against one of the rocks to massage his ankle. There were obviously people nearby, so he was going to go out on a limb and say this wasn’t the kind of area he wanted to be training in.

Shaking his foot as if that would help ease the slight twinge in his ankle, he set it down and stomped past the bikes, following the path—if it could be called a path—beyond them where it led between a copse of bushes and another jumble of rocks.

Before he got there, however, voices sounded remarkably near in front of him, somewhere through the foliage, and he stopped short. I don’t want to meet anyone—may as well leave.

He barely managed to move before a group of people came up the path, through the undergrowth. They froze when they saw him, all of them clad in black and red—and the red was in the scarf around the lead man’s neck and the big ‘R’ adorning the front of their shirts.

‘R’. An ‘R’.

Team Rocket.


Tynan stared at the letter, unable to look at anything else, its black backdrop seeming to expand to fill all his sight like the great untameable and unstoppable force it represented. Then a pokéball snapped with a releasal and Tynan’s head jerked up, his entire body moving with him in a backward step as he was abruptly presented with the grim, staring eyes of the leader and his weezing.

For an instant he was aware of everything: the coarse feel of his damp clothes sticking to him; his hair, limp and heavy from the humidity but still drifting on the slightest of breezes; his breathing, quick, too quick, so that he felt as though he couldn’t possibly be getting enough air; his heart pounding in his ribs, so harsh that it pulsed throughout his entire body; his skin tight and close as if only he could shed it he could flee light as a bird, because right then he couldn’t fucking move

‘Sludge.’

The dispassionate voice seemed to make everything snap, the broken pieces of a window—mirror, life—shoved back into places that weren’t quite the same as they had been, but close enough that between one moment and the next Tynan found himself behind a far-too-small rock on the furthest side of the clearing, away from any exit and huddling into the rough stone like a little kid terrified of the monsters under the bed.

But Team Rocket was the monster under the bed. They were every sane trainer’s worst nightmare—to be confronted with them, to be reminded that not all was right with the world and monsters existed. The worst nightmare, but the kind that no one ever believed would happen to them.

And yet there he was, confronted by the monster and cowering like a child. He felt like a child.

A child who was going to die if he didn’t fucking do something—but what could he do? If he tried to run on foot they’d get him even if he made it to the path he’d come down by, but his murkrow didn’t have the strength to Fly him away and he had no other pokémon which could possibly help him to escape—

No other pokémon.

The bikes. Fuck, the bikes!


The sky was turning into a filmy purple haze, but his mind was starting to clear, and he pulled his coat over his mouth as a filter. He still felt like a child, but one with enough foolish courage or confidence to strike out at the monster rather than run to his parents’ room.

They’re trying to smoke me out. Made sense; why bother running after or directly attacking a panicked trainer (who likely had pokémon and could still do a bit of damage) when you could poison him and wait for him to keel over himself? But they didn’t know he had Murkrow. Or maybe they suspected—flying pokémon were a dime a dozen—and just didn’t care; after all, who but a truly strong trainer—or one insanely suicidal—would bother to have the courage to fight back, if courage it could be called?

Suicide. he found himself thinking vaguely as he released Murkrow with a wince at the loud-seeming snap. Definitely suicide.

But it would be suicide
not to do anything.

‘Gust,’ he whispered, and buried his face in his arms, which were resting on his knees. He lifted Murkrow up as far as he could, the bird’s claws pricking his palms where he held her, and felt her shift, her centre of balance changing as she drew back her wings. A moment later his hair and clothes were caught by gusts of wind, tugging at them violently, harsh fingers of air raking through them. He heard the snap of the gale, the whoosh of gas pushed back, the skate of debris and distantly—a shouted, but unintelligible, command.

Might not have been expecting it, but I guess they weren’t unprepared for it.

That thought flitted through his head, and then Tynan flung Murkrow into the air and was on his feet, throwing Flareon’s pokéball out, moving before he considered what he was doing. ‘Fire Spin, Whirlwind!’

‘Fuuburuu!’

‘Kkrkkrkk!’

With a roar of flames the side of the clearing leading past the thicket lit up and Tynan sprinted for the bikes—and then abruptly found himself pitched forward, his ears ringing with an explosion and an inhuman scream of pain. Cinders drifted down on him as he stumblingly regained his balance and whirled around.

The image of Murkrow plummeting, tumbling in air currents, her feathers all but gone, was something that would be seared into his mind for a long time afterward. So was the smell of burning flesh, although that wouldn’t hit him until after it was all over, and neither would Flareon’s great keen of distress.

Later, he would try to recall the exact events and remember only the sensation of his heart thudding, breathing in ash that tasted literally like shit, and the sight of his pokémon falling against a backdrop of flames. Later, he would figure out that the flames had made the gas in the air—pushed back, but not swept away, and pushed higher overhead—catch alight. Later, he would realise he had almost killed her because he hadn’t thought out his strategy well enough, and not even the knowledge that he hadn’t had the time—or complete lucidity—would make up for it.

Now, it was only the knowledge that Murkrow couldn’t stop herself from falling—fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck—that had him reacting, although he honestly couldn’t remember thinking anything. He could barely see the pokéball’s red light against the flames, and for a moment it looked as though she’d been swallowed by them; but then the pokéball dinged and locked down to standby as they did whenever there was a critically injured pokémon inside, so that they weren’t released accidentally by an inattentive trainer.

The flames were dimming, Flareon was darting towards him before vanishing into red light, and his mind had apparently taken a holiday because suddenly he was hurtling towards the four bikes still lying innocuously on the ground beneath the sheer ledge.

They weren’t quite like the ones he knew, but that was only a dim realisation to the overwhelming gogogogogogogogogogo

He heaved one up and slung his leg over it, gunning it barely before he was properly on it, when he just barely heard another order from behind—‘Air Cutter!’—and didn’t wait to look. Tyres squealed on gravel and he shot off, the rock beside where he had been bursting with dust and debris and thin slices.

The engine roared beneath him, seeming to join with the pound of his heart in his throat and ribs and everywhere else too, and every time the bike skated on gravel and he skidded—too fast—around a bend it seemed as though his veins surged with adrenaline. He knew they were behind him: he knew it without a doubt, without even thinking it or needing to hear the roar of their bikes behind him, because they had to be—because they were the monster.

He soared over a ridge and came down on top of a speeding blur of orange and black. He didn’t even have time to curse; adrenaline pumped, his arms jerked on the handlebars, and the bike wrenched beneath him. For a moment the world turned on its axis, the orange-bullet-thing slewing away from underneath him in a tumble of orange and black and yellow and blue and a tint of red. He hit the ground and the bike didn’t skid so much as spin, seeming to twist beneath him while his body instinctively fought for control.

The bike jolted, his unstable seat disappeared from beneath him with a lurch, and he found himself tumbling across the ground in a flurry of clothes, dust and gravel.

And then his world abruptly stilled and he was left, gasping, on the hard, hot ground.


A/N: I am quite aware that technically growlithe/arcanine don't learn Quick Attack, but they can/do learn Extremespeed, and considering the perchance of small furry pokemon to learn Quick Attack I found it odd that growlithe don't.

The thing I wasn't sure about was Tynan's panic attack after being confronted by Team Rocket. I figured that living in Celadon he'd have heard an awful lot about their crimes and be very much aware that they're real and 'out there', but since he's never been out on his own he simply doesn't know how to deal with unexpected pressures or dangers--and, as he said, it's always something that happens to someone else.
 

Air Dragon

Ha, ha... not.
Two first posts in one day?

Must be my lucky day.

Off to work, breaking this chapter apart.

Much Later, after a day and a half, I'm done.

Keegan’ stomach flip-flopped as she made this realization

To keep herself from rambling at herself inside her own mind she focused back upon the voices,

They had given themselves to it; body, heart and soul,

In any case, he hadn’t known where to start, so he’d followed Keegan. He’d followed her to Fuchsia, and now he’d followed her to Cinnabar, and he hadn’t been following her for long but it still rankled that Janine seemed to be right in more aspects of his life than simple battling. If it could have been called a battle, when he had practically been victimised by the traps in the gym.

****ing ninja.

LOL.... Tynan has quite the potty mouth, doesn't he?

He wasn’t entirely sure how he’d go about doing that either, since most of the training done at the academy had been battling with other students or strategizing and not a whole lot of actual individual practice, but he decided he could figure that out when he found a place he liked, and meanwhile he felt as though he was actually doing something under his own steam.

Well, looks like Keegan's not the only one looking for someone... Team Magma seem intent on making her search easier. Poor Tynan, sucks to be you. I was impressed by the Gust fire Blast combo. Very impressive, although it got confusing every now and then, especially concerning Tarn (how did he get out of his pokeball) and Tynan, just whose bike did he steal/blow up?

Well, it's great your keeping to your end of the bargain... hopefully i dfid likewise.

L@er!
 
Last edited:

purple_drake

E/GL obsessed
I was starting to wonder. ;)

Re: the spelling errors, I'm Australian, so as far as regional spelling goes I'm right there--thanks for checking up on them, though. I think we've had this exchange before, though, so if you're using MSW spellcheck to help you proof it, maybe it would be helpful to switch the language to Aussie English for the rest of the chapters?

As for the semi-colon thing, MSW tells me that's wrong too, but MSW can sometimes be silly. I tried it with a semi-colon and the rhythm didn't work for me; I think it's because the phrase 'body, heart and soul' poses as a phrase essentially separate from the rest of the sentence (in the sense that you could remove it and the sentence would still make grammatical sense without it). The semi-colon represents too big a pause in the sentence's flow, so despite what MSW told me, I decided to ignore it. Thanks, though, nice catch; semi-colons can sometimes be pretty obscure. ^^

Tarn came out of his pokeball offstage, as it were; it was during the Magmas' perspective, while Keegan was hiding, so they didn't actually see it happen. Keegan sent him across the other side of the gorge so they could attack on two fronts, but Brody saw him and cottoned on, so her strategy failed.

As for the bikes, they belonged to the Rockets, of course. ;)

Ta for the review~ ^^
 

..Noirr.Heart..

Aviary Assassins=bad
Ah! It's you! *glomps*

I was going along and reading fics, and then I saw yours and I was like, 'Hmm, this title sounds familiar. Let's go read it!'

Then I was reading the prequel and, 'Wow, this sounds REALLY familiar...'

Then I saw Keegan's name, 'REALLY REALLY familiar.'

And then Hazel and Hank came in and I was like, 'AH!! I REMEMBER THIS FIC!!'

I was back from the days of the original ^^ I remember Tynan, definitely, and Brother and Tarn. Hazel and Firefoot, too!

I'm sad, I liked that battle Tarn had after Keegan caught him, the one where he slid all around dilly-dally after using Ice Beam or Aurora Beam or something >.<

I was so mad because I had only read up until the chapter where Magma discovers who she was when...something happened. Can't remember. You didn't update for FOREVER and I was irked...

BUT NOW I"M HAPPY!!! *glomps again*
 

purple_drake

E/GL obsessed
Ah! It's me! *is glomped*

I don't remember the username, but I'm flattered my stories stuck in your head for so long. ^^ Welcome back!

I rather liked that battle too, but there was no room for it in the new version, alas. I decided to discontinue the first copy because a conscientious reviewer made me want to rewrite it to fix up some problems. So now I have, and hopefully it's better and you'll enjoy it as much this time 'round. ^^
 

..Noirr.Heart..

Aviary Assassins=bad
Ah! It's me! *is glomped*

I don't remember the username, but I'm flattered my stories stuck in your head for so long. ^^ Welcome back!

I rather liked that battle too, but there was no room for it in the new version, alas. I decided to discontinue the first copy because a conscientious reviewer made me want to rewrite it to fix up some problems. So now I have, and hopefully it's better and you'll enjoy it as much this time 'round. ^^
My old account was deleted for inactivity -.-

But keep up the good work! It's always been good, and it's definitely gotten better ^o^
 
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