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Choice and Consequence

Zephyr Soul

<is awesome
I finally reply. Great chapter.:)

Now I need more story.
 
B

Billy Bob Pennywhistle

Guest
Brillant chapter PD, really, truely brillant. SO... what's in the pokéball... huh huh...

Really super job!
 

Brian Random

I WAS FROZEN TODAY!!
Chapter V:
Quite an interesting read, this one. But I did spot a couple of errors, nothing too bad though.

She raised a farewelling hand and ran for the train’s door

The one underlined is the word that MS Word have spotted as a spelling error and I, myself, think that is unnecessary. Just put in ‘farewell’.

Occasionally she caught a word or too

Spelling error: Two

I got a little bit confused with the battle scene. Firstly, I looked around more than once to see the bit where Vulpix got heavily injured but I couldn’t find it. Secondly, did the Umbreon escape? Other than the confusing bit, the rest was good.

The ending bit was a little bit funny when Bill had this bad feeling about Keegan doing something bad when she gets to Celadon City and the way he reacted. It’s obvious to me that she would get into trouble, that’s why this fanfics interesting. Therefore, I’m gonna keep on reading.

One more thing, clever chapter name that one.

PS: Apologies for not reviewing this sooner. Why sooner, you ask? Let’s just say life sucks.
 

purple_drake

E/GL obsessed
Oh ^.^ hi! It's okay if you don't review quickly, real life takes priority - I symphathise with you and hope things turn out fine.

'She raised a farewell hand'? :p lol, no, I know what you mean. I know that it's technically not a word, but I'm not adverse to making up words when no one can mistake it's meaning, and somehow 'farewelling' appeals to me more for this particular sentence. And thanks for pointing out the 'too' -_-;; dunno how that one slipped through.

Anyway, yeah, Brother escaped. I was leery about whether that was clear enough when I first wrote it, but no one complained, so... *shrug* With Vulpix, there was too much happening for me to feel comfortable focussing on Keegan and Bill at the same time; so I focussed on Keegan and when she got the chance she looked to see what was happening to Bill, only to find his vulpix was injured, see?

^.^ Thanks for the compliments, although it's ironic you thught the title was good - I hated that title, I thought it was cheesily cliche, but it was the only one I could think of at the time. :p Thanks again, luck to you.
 

Sike Saner

Peace to the Mountain
Blood and black feathers...

This could very well be the single deepest story I have ever read. Not only have you got an abundance of fascinating, impeccably well-developed characters, you've also achieved a degree of intrigue and mystery within the plot that is staggering. Furthermore, the structural integrity is flawless - I missed any present errors, or else more likely there simply weren't any.

Kudos for writing such a high-quality, multi-layered story. And kudos for BLOWING MY MIND.
 

BenJS

Happily Ignorant
I must say I'm rather dissappointed PD. Here I am waiting weeks and weeks for a story alert at FF.net, only to join here out of bordem and what do I find, seven more friggin awsome chapters!

But I think I'll let that slide. After all the story's great. One thing I must mention though is that you seem to be ignoring the pokemon characters in favour of the human ones. Were I'm up to, both Tarn and the nameless butterfree have made very few appearances and even less is known about their personalities, though Brother My Brother helped. Also Hazel and Firefoot have been neglected as well. That's the only thing I don't like that much in this fic.

Keep up the good work.

EDIT: Okay, I just read the last chapter and admit that more pokemon character development, and a nickname for butterfree, were present, though just one chapter isn't really enough.

And the reminder is [SPOIL]Mightyena.[/SPOIL]
 
Last edited:

purple_drake

E/GL obsessed
Oh! Reviews! *looks sheepish* huh, I feel so guilty now. I admit I've been neglecting CaC in favour of other franchises (PLEASE someone tell me there's a Stargate fan here somewhere?!)

*cough* Anyway! Really, Sike it's reviews like that which make my day! *blushes* thank you for the kind words.

As for you, BenJS, I do have a reason for my lack of updates on ff.net - perfectionism. I feel the story is flawed, and probably won't update on ff.net again until I get it right... which could take a while, considering I need to finish this first draft before I begin the rewrite, and the fact that I've got so many story ideas I can't focus on any single one of them (Gawd, I am sad... I need a life). Anyway, thanks for your opinion on the characters - I agree Bram has been neglected, but didn't actually think much of the others. It's things like that I really have the urge to fix up. As for your reminder, I haven't forgotten him - he just hasn't reappeared yet. *grin*

Thanks again, and please don't kill me for taking so long! I'm getting burnout from writing so much this year.
 

SnoringFrog

Well-Known Member
I'm a stargate fan! Kinda. I don't get to watch it much but I like it.
 
T

Twilight Absol

Guest
Heh, looks like I'mm not the only one that neglected things >,> Oh well, At least I'm not so lonely now...

Anyways, I'll review in a few days after I catch up wth the reading ...
 

purple_drake

E/GL obsessed
*pokes Twilight* so much for a few days :p but then, I didn't think you were even around, so this is a step up... and SF! Nice to see a Stargate fan!! <_< No one ELSE around here seems to KNOW of it, let alone WATCH.
 
J

jirachiman876

Guest
Aww man. I see a post by PD no less expecting a chapter and all I get is her talking about stargate. Not that there's anything wrong with that but it's just that you really let me down. How's the chapter coming if you're even going to work on this anymore.
jirachiman out ;385;
 

purple_drake

E/GL obsessed
...that's why I hate posting when I don't have a chappie. I feel so bad if people think it's an update and it's not.

I am *trying* to continue it; I'm working on it, I swear, but mostly it's for the plotline of the rewrite! I do wanna finish it first, though, it just might take a while, since I've never be known for consistancy and I'm stuck in a quandry right now. Yanno, other stories, too many ideas, that sorta thing. I apologise deeply.
 

SnoringFrog

Well-Known Member
Yanno, other stories, too many ideas, that sorta thing. I apologise deeply.

Don't worry about it, I've been there. I'm still trying to finish at least one chaptered story, but I keep gettin hit with new ideas. One morning I got up and started to write a song, by th time I finished I had 1 complete song and 3 half-finished ones. So, just keep working on it!
 
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