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Clipping

Act

Let's Go Rangers!
I've had this idea floating around for a while, but have been struggling with how to present it. And somewhere along the line, this occurred to me. I have no idea if it can be effective or interesting in the long run, but I'm going to give it a shot and would really adore feedback on it.

This shouldn't be too long at all... I'd say about 6 parts of about this length.

Index:

Wave 1: Breaking News
3
Wave 2
2
Wave 3
1

---------------

Wave 1: Breaking News


IRP: Intra-Region Press


VIOLET CITY, Johto – BREAKING NEWS. Three people were found dead today in the Ruins of Alph. Although not much is known at the moment, police are on the scene. A source speaking on the condition of anonymity because they were not yet authorized to be speaking about the situation says the people seem to be tourists who were unrelated to each other, and each had apparent head trauma.

The three bodies had been deposited in a small chamber deep within the ruins and were only found when an explorer's houndour apparently smelled something amiss and ran to investigate. The boy and the houndour themselves were briefly trapped because they had difficultly navigating their way out. It is well-known by the locals and warned by the scientists who oversee the area that it is not possible to get cell or radio service while inside the ruins.

The boy said the room itself was clean, although it had begun to stink, and it seemed as if the bodies had simply be dropped there and the actual killings took place somewhere else. “It didn't look like the scene of a murder,” he said. “I wasn't sure how to react. I'm still not really sure. This is surreal. I don't know.”

Updates will come when more information becomes available.



The Violet Eye
News, local nightlife, real estate and more!


RUINS OF ALPH – Three bodies were discovered today by a young trainer and his houndour in a small room at the extreme bottom of excavated areas. Clare Ursine, 54, Martin Boothe, 43, and Jenny Smith, 26, were all apparently tourists with different groups who came to the ruins at different times. Their wounds were consistent with foul play, and authorities are treating the case as a murder investigation.

Sources say the victims had near-identical injuries, although they seem to have died at different times, and were found thrown on top of one another. However, some sources have been saying police think the chamber was used simply as a drop-point and the killings took place somewhere else.

“It didn't look like the scene of a murder,” said Christopher Cura, 11, the young boy whose houndour discovered the site. “I wasn't sure how to react. I'm still not really sure. This is feels like it's not real. I don't know.” Cura was then quickly ushered off by police and has not released any more public comments on the situation.

However, some local researchers find the investigation to be hasty and based in fear-mongering in lieu of a more rational approach to the situation. “I've had people asking me if it's possible they fell through the floor above, if the site is unstable. And to me that makes the most sense, it was my first thought, it's pretty obvious based on what I've heard.” James Sorger, Ph. D, has been working with the team of researchers in the Alph for the past four years. “These people, individually, wandered into a cavern in the dangerous part of the ruins we hadn't fully certified as safe and fell. It doesn't require any suspension of disbelief.”

The research team has been “deeply shaken” by these events, and are expected to release a statement in the “immediate future.”

Research in the ruins centers upon the pokemon unown, who are literally a living alphabet. Carvings on the floors and walls throughout not just the Alph but other places in other regions as well suggests their forms were both revered and used among followers as their main form of communication. It has been suggested that unown were the first written language, or that they arose from the invention of written language, although there is controversy surrounding these claims. Ruins that house unown are characterized by puzzles and traps; writing in unown typography lines the walls.

While some are interested in the pokemon itself and how it functions-- it is very reclusive, at times seeming to go as far as to completely disappear from Alph and is almost never seen in the upper levels-- and some interested in the socio-linguistic implication of the caves, others focus entirely on the ancient culture that seemed to hold them to such high regard.

The Alp also attracts trainers, spelunkers, and tourists. There has been no word from anyone on any side of this case about whether the whole area should be blocked off, just that cave, or anything at all. However, sources speculate that a completely shutdown of the area is unlikely.



................THIS IS GRN THE GOLDENROD NEWS TICKER............VOILET CITY--IN THE CASE OF THE RUIN OF ALPH MURDERS POLICE ARE ASKING ANYONE WHO MIGHT HAVE INFO TO STEP FORWARD.........A PRESS CONFERENCE ON THE MATTER IS EXPECTED TO TAKE PLACE ON THURSDAY......OLIVINE—LEADER JASMINE HAS AGAIN




Indigo League Press Release
For Immediate Release
February 2


THE INDIGO LEAGUE strongly advises all trainers against travel to the Ruins of Alph. Based on the evidence thus far, it has been decided that it is in the best interest and in the interest of the safety of our trainers to insist they stay away from this area. Anyone who is staying at the Ruins will be offered lodging free of charge at nearby Indigo League sanctioned facilities.

A MANDATORY pokedex update containing this warning and further information will be released shortly. We ask that everyone that is able to comply with this advisory do so. Trainers from outer regions to whom we cannot send warnings or instructions may find them at any Indigo League sanctioned facility.



IRP: Intra-Region Press


VIOLET CITY, Johto-- Police met the press today and ventured to answer questions and quell hysteria that had arisen as a result of the finding of three dead bodies deep in the Ruins of Alph.

The local authorities assured inhabitants of Violet City that the city was safe and that they were vehemently following leads. “Our investigators are working hard and interviewing as many people as possible in order to bring someone in to custody,” assured Violet Police Chief Jordan Nold.

When asked about doubt that had been cast on the validity of looking at this as foul play, Nold looked visibly annoyed and said, “Only my men have seen that room, and only we are really in any position to comment on it. I promise you, if there had been a big hole in the ceiling and rubble everywhere we would have noticed.”

Earlier, researchers working at the facility and familiar with the ruins had pointed out their inherent danger, and how getting hurt in a cave and becoming trapped is not unlikely, particularly if you have little or no spelunking experience. The Ruins have long been a tourist attraction and challenge for trainers.

In August of '93, a trainer who had been exploring alone became trapped in the caves after sustaining a head injury. Fortunately, his friends were able to realize what must have happened and police were able to rescue the boy.

Each researcher who works out of the institute is being interviewed individually, as are all trainers whose pokedex trackers put them in the area at the time or immediately before.

Nold had little to say about Christopher Cura, the eleven-year-old boy whose houndour picked up on the scent of the bodies and led his trainer to them. “He's resting, and his parents are coming in from Kanto.” Where in Kanto, Nold would not specify. “He's been a little out of it, but he's traumatized, understandably. He's given us what we need to proceed further, and it would be in his best interest if the media stopped prying into his situation, interesting as it may be.”

It was confirmed that there were three victims who had all died at least several days apart. Claire Ursine, 54, was a tourist from Hoenn whose coordinating led her to travel. Martin Boothe, 43, was a wealthy yet under-the-radar socialite whose identification was Sinnohian. Jenny Smith, 26, was a student from Blackthorn conducting independent research. No more would be said about the three except that their families had been “contacted.”

Faulkner was on hand as well, particularly to comment on the news that the Indigo League is “discouraging” its trainers from entering the area. “Obviously, this is very tragic. I fully support the League's decision to warn people against visiting the Ruins until we know more.”

He did, however, disagree with the broadness of the alarm. “I don't see any reason people should stop visiting Violet itself. Our crime rate is very low; a significant portion of our population is monks. The gym will be open, and it is not dangerous. The Marts and Centers will be open, and they are not dangerous. People should not be afraid to pass through the town, or even to stay here.”

There would be little use in visiting the Ruins now, anyway, observes Nold. “We have blocked off all entrances to caves and to the area, including those that lead through the well [in Azalea Town]. Guards make sure we know the name of everyone who comes in and out, when they do so, and where. With the help of the researchers, we are going through the ruins methodically to make sure no one is hiding there, and no one else who is hurt is being missed.”

There has been suggestion that the murders took places somewhere else, and the largely empty caves were used as a dumping ground. Nold would neither confirm nor deny this. “We are doing all we can,” he assured.

.:A:.

He wandered in alone at night. Before him, they danced. He laughed.

----

Please, R/R. Mostly the second R. Though... they kind of come hand in hand.
 
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I really like this. The use of the newspaper format is a really interesting, original and effective way to tell the story. Judging by the titles of the next sections, I can only imagine this will become more entertaining to read. :p

In fact, I truely believe that through your stunning innovation you have crafted the greatest literary tour-de-force since AEON hit the boards back in 06! Kudos, Act. Kudos.
 

Act

Let's Go Rangers!
Hahahaha, three days ago and the comparison still makes me giggle.

Thanks a lot for humoring me.

Incidentally, I've actually started continuing, and this will be in exactly six parts.

/spammyshamelessbumping
 

godudette

/me cresselias
Wow. This is really good. I love the way that you tell this through news reports- I've never actually read something done like this, and it is really interesting.

I like how you've developed the story a little more each time you hve a new report- the same story line repeats, but the reader gets to hear a new tidbit of inormation each time.

Excellent writing style. Great job!
 

bobandbill

Winning Smile
Staff member
Super Mod
Have to agree with the others and say that this is making for a good read. Certainly a rather different way to present a story, but a thoroughly enjoyable one. Nice way to slowly release the 'facts' and develop the story... so I daresay I shall continue reading. =) (Didn't I read some non-pokemon fic of yours before some time ago btw? Eh). You've mimicked the newspaper-style of the reports rather well. All we need is for it to be printed in black-and-white with some random pictures of the Ruins of Alph, Unown and Falkner striking a pose thrown in and hey pesto! XD

I do wonder who the murderer turns out to be... if thy do find him/her, that is - there's some interesting ways this story may turn, heh.

Based on the evidence thus far, it has been decided that it is in the best interest and in the interest of the safety of our trainers to insist they stay away from this area.
Idk, but I feel this might read better if you compress it into 'Based on the evidence thus far, it has been decided that it is in the best interest of the safety of our trainers to insist they stay away from this area'...? Not necessary though, does read fine already, so up to you.
In August of 93,
Random thought - would saying "In August of '93," work also/which way do newspaper articles tend to go at? I thought at least once they tend to go '93 over just 93, but I can't say I have any real idea. =/ But it doesn't matter much, if at all, I imagine.

Basically it's also very clean, so well done on a good beginning and good luck with the rest!
 

Act

Let's Go Rangers!
godudette said:
Wow. This is really good. I love the way that you tell this through news reports- I've never actually read something done like this, and it is really interesting.

I like how you've developed the story a little more each time you hve a new report- the same story line repeats, but the reader gets to hear a new tidbit of inormation each time.

Excellent writing style. Great job!

Thanks very much. I'm glad to hear that it wasn't too redundant. Thanks again.

bobandbill said:
(Didn't I read some non-pokemon fic of yours before some time ago btw? Eh).

I've posted several non-pokemon fics here, but the one I actually finished was called "State of Mind," so I imagine it was that one you read. :D

Idk, but I feel this might read better if you compress it into 'Based on the evidence thus far, it has been decided that it is in the best interest of the safety of our trainers to insist they stay away from this area'...? Not necessary though, does read fine already, so up to you.

No, that sentence always bothered me and it probably could use to me edited down.

Random thought - would saying "In August of '93," work also/which way do newspaper articles tend to go at? I thought at least once they tend to go '93 over just 93, but I can't say I have any real idea. =/ But it doesn't matter much, if at all, I imagine.

:p If you find something wrong, you don't have to qualify it until you've convinced yourself it's not an error. That was, in fact, a typo. Thanks for catching it.

Thanks a lot!

My classes end today, so I'll probably have the first prose part/second chapter up this weekend.
 

Act

Let's Go Rangers!
I actually finished the second part in a timely manner, which is cool.

----

3


Jenny looked around, anxious. The bus stop was empty except for two monks, and this made her nervous. She looked down the road a bit, at people dribbling in and out of the Violet City Pokemon Center. It was early in the morning and obviously most people, particularly tourists, were not out and about yet. She knew this, but it didn't make her feel better. That the area was so deserted made her feel like she was probably in the wrong place, and would get on a bus in the wrong direction, and would get in trouble with her superiors, and everything would end in the most horrible way possible.

She looked up and down the street, distressed.

Just as Jenny finally began to work up the courage to ask the monks if she was in the right place, a bus came rambling up the road. Something about shuttle busses had always thrilled and amused her, though she would never be able to explain why they were so inherently fun. She boarded the shuttle shakily, still wondering if it was the right one.

She had come to Violet City to work alongside the anthropological researchers at the Ruins of Alph. She was not sure, exactly, what she would be doing-- she imagined it would be secretarial odd-jobs to start-- but the idea of being able to learn about the ruins and their implications in human history was so exciting as to overwhelm her.

The bus rolled up to the gym and stopped. Her heart skipped a beat. As it sat there she panicked, convinced she had in fact boarded the wrong bus and it would now turn around and drop her back where she started. She looked around haphazardly, thoughts racing. She was sure this was the AA, and was similarly sure that was the one that went to the Ruins...

No one boarded, and the bus rolled off again, forward. A wave of relief came over her.

It rambled past the Mart and down a long, straight road. Jenny Smith, 26, a student from Blackthorn, could finally see the silhouettes of the mounds that made up the Ruins of Alph.

.:B:.​

Jenny's shoes clacked obnoxiously against the floor as she tried to keep up with the professor. He didn't seem annoyed to be showing her around, which was what she had been worrying about, but he was in quite a rush all the same. Suddenly, he turned sharply to the side and went through a pair of doors. Jenny tripped over herself trying to mirror his abrupt turn.

“...and this is where most of the records are kept!” She caught the end of his sentence echoing through the large room as she ran up behind him. He continued, “Everything you'll need regarding the fruits of our research, along with maps of the ruins, can be found here.”

He looked at her. She smiled and nodded emphatically.

“Come on, I'll show you where the stuff you'll need will generally be.” He began walking toward the back corner of the room. “Before you actually go in the larger ruins, you should really study the maps. We're uncovering more and more every day at an almost feverish pace. It's really quite amazing, but you do need to be careful because many of the chambers haven't been evaluated for safety yet. You'll see those marked with red X-unown on the map.” He smiled at her and rolled his eyes. “Our cartographer thought he was being creative, I guess.”

She watched eagerly as he unrolled a large map that had been sitting rolled up against the wall. “This is the big guy, the master map of the whole place. We're pretty much constantly editing it and adding notes.”

Seeing the chambers and little tidbits of information about them lain out before her made the whole experience suddenly become very real. She was nervous, excited, and wanted to actually get into the Ruins and begin her work more than anything. “So where should I start?” she asked, thrilled.

He smiled again. “Well, you're going to need to take a class on how you should go through the ruins. Not really spelunking-- although it'd be a very beneficial thing to learn about if you'd like to look into it-- but more just basic safety things. Also, we have several pokemon here that you can choose from that know the caves well; we'd prefer you don't go in too far without one of them.”

“So when do I take the class?”

.:C:.​

The houndoom plodded along behind her. Her indifference to the whole situation was extremely apparent, as was the fact that she wasn't all too fond of Jenny. Jenny wondered if it was because she very obviously had never trained a pokemon before, if this was just how houndoom generally were, or if this was just how this houndoom was. She had been assured Freya, as she was called, was one of the most capable guide pokemon they had, but her attitude made Jenny wonder exactly how helpful she'd be should something bad happen.

Jenny came to a fork and stopped, trying to read the map the best she could. Freya slowly and silently padded ahead of her off to the right. Jenny had thought going to the left would be the faster way to get to Chamber D3, but apparently it was not. She put the map away and jogged to catch up.

The chamber was oddly small, and almost perfectly square. The walls were lined with hieroglyphs of the unown, from floor to ceiling. Seeing the ancient runes in person was overwhelming. They seemed so incredibly ancient Jenny was afraid to touch them. She ran her eyes across the lies, picking up what looked to be words here and there, until a pink post-it note stuck to the wall jarred her gaze and she remembered why she had come. Secretarial work.

That's essentially what it was: copying down long chains of semi-English writing into a notebook to be brought back and typed up before being analyzed by the linguists. It was the work no one really wanted to do but had to be done; the perfect thing to pawn off on a lowly student intern.

Further, it seemed as if the ancient people had recorded every minute detail they possible could on their walls. Much of the writing was uninteresting and mundane, a discovery that had been kind of a letdown for Jenny. From recipes with instructions on how to fillet a fish to accounts of the weather each day, it wasn't all thrilling. Not to mention that the stuff that Jenny was really interested in-- accounts of day-to-day happenings, cultural beliefs, news from ancient Violet-- was generally found deep in the caves, and she had been assigned to one only three floors down. As she scanned over the writings, she realized this room had probably been some kind of washroom; the walls seemed to be endless odes to the cleaning power of water (not to mention the usefulness of vinegar as a disinfectant).

Jenny sighed and sat down on the cold, dusty floor and took out the book she had been given. She looked around the room. Freya lay across the arched entryway with her eyes closed, breathing easily. In the middle of the room Jenny could clearly make out a large, circular indent in the floor. She imagined at some time a washbasin had sat there. She looked back at Freya. The houndoom's right eye had opened, and it was examining her carefully. Inexplicably disturbed by this, Jenny quickly turned around and looked back at the wall. She removed the post-it and began to copy down the writing.

.:.D.:.​

Time passed slowly. The symbols melted into each other and devolved into gibberish. Jenny's eyes hurt from staring at the walls for so long. Finally, she finished the north wall and turned to the east. She looked over her shoulder toward the door. Then, to her left. Then her right.

Freya was gone.

Jenny stared at the door for a few moments, but she didn't come back into the room. Jenny stood up and jogged to the door. She called down the hallway. “Freya?” Her voice echoed through the chambers. From somewhere, a bark came in response.

Jenny began to panic. She wasn't sure if she was supposed to go look for her, or if she should stay put. She was told not to separate from the guide pokemon, but what if it separated from her? If you and your pokemon are separated, you should... What? What? You should what? Jenny's thoughts devolved into more mania as she realized she couldn't remember what the class had taught her to do only last week. She stood at the doorway trembling. Freya had led her here; what if she couldn't get out alone? What if Freya was hurt? Why in all the hells would she just get up and go?

Her phone. Jenny ran to her phone. She knew it wasn't supposed to work inside the ruins themselves, but she figured it was worth a try. She dialed the emergency number the instructor had given her. It didn't ring, but the strange sounds of the unown that did come through seemed loud and treacherous to her nervous ears. She shoved her phone back in her bag and ran out into the hallway.

“Freya!” she yelled again, exasperated. She thought she heard a bark, but she couldn't be sure. She stood in the hallway, shifting her weight from side to side, sometimes take a few steps in any direction. Should she go search? That seemed ill-advised. As she stood, panicking, a grunt came from behind her. She turned around with a start.

Freya, clearly annoyed, was plodding back down the hall at her indifferent pace. Her footsteps seemed to Jenny particularly heavy and almost sarcastic. Freya turned sharply past Jenny and went into the room.

“Where did you go?” Jenny asked desperately. She wasn't sure exactly what kind of response she was expecting, but it was a fair question. “I was terrified.”

Freya eyed her carefully for a second. Whether she sensed genuine fear and pitied it or was just tired of being annoyed Jenny couldn't say, but suddenly her eyes turned soft and Freya lifted up her back leg. She had just gone to the bathroom. Relax.

Jenny exhaled hard. “Why wouldn't you tell me?” Freya looked over at the notebook leaning against a rock. She held it in her gaze for a few moments, then looked back at Jenny. “Oh.” Jenny suddenly felt extremely silly. No wonder the experienced houndoom was not particularly interested in escorting a newbie. “You wouldn't be bothering me, I promise. Can you just let me know next time?” Freya nodded, then abruptly laid down and closed her eyes. Drained, Jenny began to walk back toward her work. Then, out of the corner of her eye, she saw Freya stand up.

Concerned, Jenny turned around. Freya stood there, tense and listening, her head cocked to the side. She looked at Jenny sternly-- very obviously a visual “stay” command-- before going out into the hall with uncharacteristic swiftness. She turned, and Jenny could hear the quick pattering of her feet fade as she went to investigate whatever had startled her.

Jenny stood still for several moments, afraid to so much as breathe too hard. Then, she heard a strange rumbling crackle that she couldn't quite place. Freya yelped and whined. Jenny ran out of the room and down the hall.

She had to stop short and almost tumbled in herself, it came up so suddenly. One of the nearby stairwells had collapsed, and Jenny could see Freya laying in the room below, clearly injured. “Ohmigod! Okay! I'll get help for you, don't worry!” she shouted. Though, what was she going to do? Freya was the one with the know-how, though in this case it obviously had not done her much good. These upper levels were supposed to be steady. Freya had attempted these stairs, which meant she thought they were safe. Why would they have collapsed now?

As quickly as she could, Jenny ran back to the room and took out her map. She cursed silently to herself when she realized the collapsed stairwell was the one she and Freya had used on the way in. She took her pencil, circled their room on the map, and carefully traced another pathway back to the surface. She would have to go down a level or two, cross underneath where she was now, and start heading back up again from there.

She ran back to Freya. “Don't worry! I have the map, I'm going to go get you help, okay?” Freya whined in return. As she heard Jenny's running become fainter and fainter, she ran through her mind all the countless times she had used that stairwell knowing it was the safest.

Jenny sprinted through the tunnels, breathing hard and praying with every step that the floor below her would not give out. She focused as hard as she could on the task at hand, hoping it would distract her from the possibility. Footsteps pounding against the ground and echoing in a surprisingly varied chorus, she ran.

As she went further into the depths of the ruins, it became clear how cleaned up the level she had been on was. The walls became caked with dirt, and rubble lay in piles everywhere. And still she went down, following her map in her hands, trying to assure herself that she could do this and that Freya would be okay. Not that she had become attached to Freya in any particular way; she just was not interested in having the houndoom's death feel like her fault.

The hall split three ways. Jenny slowed to a stop and pulled out the map, panting. If she took a right here, she would begin to head back up again. She looked to the right. Sure enough, the stairs sloped gently upward. She sighed in relief and began to stuff the map back in her bag.

And then she was on the floor, her cheek warm from where her teeth had cut it when her head hit the ground, cold from the rock. She wondered if she was in pain. Something felt wrong on the back of her head, but she couldn't register it. A sandal swept in and out of her swirling vision. The rock had blood on it. She felt herself being pulled backward, and she saw the stairs on the right sloping gently upward toward help for Freya and for herself.

-------

...

D: I have such an insanely hard time killing off characters. I thought this would be easy because it wasn't like, a mid-chapter plot decision-- I was writing a condemned character. But it wasn't easy at all. It actually upsets me. I also don't do it very often, so I hope it was effective.

Other than that, I'm pretty satisfied with this. I think it may have dragged a bit, but that could be because I'm tired now and finishing it up was kind of blehhh. Four more parts... two news, to prose. Woohoo?
 
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godudette

/me cresselias
Wow! Just as I expected- another excellent section. =) Just a couple things I noticed:

That the area was so deserted made her feel like she was probably in the wrong place, and would get on a bus in the wrong direction, and would get in trouble with her superiors, and everything would end in the most horrible way possible.
I understand that you are inverting this sentence, but it makes it seem more like a fragment by doing so. It would probably be better if it was simply "The area was so deserted that it..."

...but the idea of being able to learn about the ruins and their implications in human history was so exciting as to overwhelm her.
You should probably say "that it overwhelmed her" instead of the current ending. The rest of this paragraph uses past tense, so overwhelm should be in past tense as well.

“So when do I take the class?”
I love how you use this as an ending to the section.

You perfetly embodied panic in the story when Freya disappeared the first time. I could genuinely tell that Jenny was nervous through the wording you used. It was nice to see that you could represent fear without blatantly stating it.

Oh, and you killed Jenny off fantastically. (Lulz) So don't worry about it. On another note, I just really like the way that you interpret the Ruins of Alph. You bring them to life from the simple game maps that most players are used to. Great descriptions.

Overall, fantastic again. Can't wait for the next installation!!
 

bobandbill

Winning Smile
Staff member
Super Mod
:p If you find something wrong, you don't have to qualify it until you've convinced yourself it's not an error. That was, in fact, a typo. Thanks for catching it.
I just wasn't sure to dismiss it or not at the time - just that it seemed like it may have been a minor thing that should b don another way (which turned out to be so, whee).

But anyways, yay for a new chapter! And I agree with godudette that the death was pulled off rather well there. I was a grand death indeed. (And now I am tempted to rabbit on about the finer points of the death as if I was a serial killer delighting in another victim's downfall.) =P Killing characters can be a tough job at times for many, so you may know it was not in vain. =)

Also agree that you did well in showing the fear Jenny had - the pacing increased nicely and changed smoothly enough as well and along with that I liked the showing of Jenny's thoughts in that part in particularly. And the initial scare being for naught because of a toilet break from the Houndoom earned a smile as well. XD (The poor Ruins...) It didn't feel like this chapter dragged either anywhere - it seemed to go steadily throughout... also an interesting and good chapter title, I'll add.

Jenny looked around, anxious. The bus stop was empty except for two monks, and this made her nervous. She looked down the road a bit, at people dribbling in and out of the Violet City Pokemon Center. It was early in the morning and obviously most people, particularly tourists, were not out and about yet. She knew this, but it didn't make her feel better. That the area was so deserted made her feel like she was probably in the wrong place, and would get on a bus in the wrong direction, and would get in trouble with her superiors, and everything would end in the most horrible way possible.

She looked up and down the street, distressed.
I did feel that the parts 'Jenny looked around, nervous/...this made her nervous/...looked up and down the street, distressed' a touch repetitive - probably done to firmly establish her mood and atmosphere of the scene (which it did) - but I do feel it was a bit much - a touch overdone. But an interesting beginning nonetheless (certainly had me wondering if something was about to happen and hence had my attention).

You'll see those marked with red X-unown on the map.” He smiled at her and rolled his eyes. “Our cartographer thought he was being creative, I guess.”
Whenever I find myself in need of an official map-maker, or I need to mark pirate Pokemon treasure somewhere, that guy is so hired. XD Small details like this and what was written on the walls, etc did add a nice element of realism and entertainment, I thought, so good work with those. =)

It was the work no one really wanted to do but had to be done; the perfect thing to pawn off on a lowly student intern.
Random though - 'onto' seems to sound better to me than 'on' there, even though both are fine.
Time passed slowly. The symbols melted into each other and devolved into gibberish. Jenny's eyes hurt from staring at the walls for so long. Finally, she finished the north wall and turned to the east. She looked over her shoulder toward the door. Then, to her left. Then her right.

Freya was gone.
Nice moment here - somehow I feel though the lines 'Then, to her left. Then her right' would have further effect if separated into their own paragraphs...? A presentation suggestion, is all.
She dialed the emergency number the instructor had given her. It didn't ring, but the strange sounds of the unown that did come through seemed loud and treacherous to her nervous ears.
If this is a throwback to GSC (and HG/SS) and the 'radio signals' one hears in the Ruins of Alph - nice? And if not... well it's still nice to read all the same. =P

Another good chapter there, and now we know how Jenny died. Yay! *shot* Looking forward to next week's news on these murders - keep it up. =)
 
This was cool! it flowed really nicely and i didn't have to strain my wee brain to read it, which is always a good thing. That being said, i did pick up on some errors/questionable sentance choices.

She ran her eyes across the lies

It sounds very poetic, but I don't think you meant lies.

Also, if the heiroglyphs were actually carved into the wall, i'm not sure the society would bother recording the daily weather/other mundane things on it, unless they had some sort of reverence for those things. Carving into stone would take a lot of effort, and it wouldn't really make sense to carve in things like the weather on a daily basis?

"accounts of day-to-day happenings,"

Mabye its the phrasing, but day-to-day happenings doesn't seem much less mundane than fish recipies (that actually sounds kinda cool! i mean, i'd like to know how to make ancient egyptian food) or the daily weather.

but suddenly her eyes turned soft and Freya lifted up her back leg.

Call me a gender essentialist but I'm pretty sure its mostly male dogs who left their legs up when they relieve themselves. Female dogs, at least the ones i have seen, kinda just squat.

And then she was on the floor, her cheek warm from where her teeth had cut it when her head hit the ground, cold from the rock

this sentance is confusing and took a while for me to get. I dunno if the cheek part is neccesairly, and 'cold from the rock' just sounds a little awkward.

Besides that, this was really fun to read.
 

Bay

YEAHHHHHHH
Ohhhhhhh, mystery. Don't see too much of those in Pokemon fanfiction. :3

One of the best things I like about the clippings is we actually get to know Chris, the Chief, and Falkner well just by the newspaper clips. Kudos to you on that!

Second part I already like Jenny a lot. Like everyone else, you did her panic well and also we can relate to her (mostly on the want to do research but instead we get secretarial work part :p ). As for her death, nice job you put how she died but at the same time left us suspenseful.

There are a couple things, but they're very minor though. XD;

Martin Boothe, 43, was a wealthy yet under-the-radar socialite whose identification was Sinnohian.
Um, aren't he supposed to be called a gentleman? In the games (at least in Diamond, Pearl, and Platinum) males are called gentleman while woman are called socialite.

No wonder the experienced houndoom was not particularly interested in escorting a newbie.
Maybe it's just me, but I find it weird to use newbie in narration, especially something as suspenseful as this.

Lastly, at section B (yes, I'll call that :p) at the beginning I feel you could show how Freya doesn't trust Jenny instead of tell.

Overall though, a great read and neat idea you have here. Can't wait for the rest of the story and clippings. :3
 
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