Closed Heart - The Complete Circle Edition (PG)

[mysterioustrainer]

Closed Heart - The Complete Circle Edition

Closed Heart tells the tale of the daughter of Rui, the girl who traveled with the hero of Pokemon Colosseum, whose name is Heather. When Heather and her friends learn that CIPHER attempts to once again conquer the Orre region and the world, she vows to stop them at any cost. But will the cost go too high?

News Updates
3/22/06 - Chapter Two is now up! How will Heather stack up in her toughest tournament yet in Phenac City?

What is the Complete Circle Edition?
The Complete Circle Edition of this story was created because my original version (which only had five chapters at the time) published on Pokegym was based only on the events of Pokemon Colosseum. Once I learned of XD: Gale of Darkness coming out I postponed the story and waited to see what happened in the new game. Now with knowledge of both games, I rewrote Closed Heart in its new edition to correct for the inconsistancies and story expansion to include characters from the new game. Now up to nine chapters (at the time of this post) have been created and more are well on their way. For now I will let Serebii catch up one at a time.

Why republishing on Serebii?
Well the Complete Circle Edition is being posted piece by piece on the gym. However Serebii is more active in its fan fiction than the gym. It seems no one is responding to anyone's story at all on the gym right now. So Closed Heart makes its debut here today. Depending on any feedback, Serebii may become the home of premiere chapters of Closed Heart.

Table of Contents
Chapter One - Heather Saves the Day! Post #1
Chapter Two - Making a Splash! Post # 2

Now with that said, lets move onto the story!

Closed Heart - The Complete Circle Edition
by Craig Simpson

Chapter 1

In the Orre region, a region stricken by heat and dusty winds, a young man along with a teenaged girl saved this barren land. Shadow Pokémon terrorized the land under the command of their cruel masters. The heart of the operation, the CIPHER Organization, was destroyed when the young man challenged them and freed the Pokémon who were trapped by their own hearts. Five years passed with peace, until CIPHER resurfaced, but only to fail to a group of freedom fighters led by a twelve year old boy. Since then Orre remains quiet and isolate, the only reminder of Cipher shorted lived reign was the RealgamTower.

Fifteen Years Later since the second CIPHER incident…

The crowds roared shaking the old foundations of Pyrite Colosseum. A girl around her teen years was carefully watching over her Pokémon, Scyther, fight hard in the arena against her opponent’s Primeape. The battle was going very fierce. It started very smoothly however her opponent seemed more desperate to win in every move.

“Primeape use Mega Punch.” The angry trainer commanded. The exhausted Primeape desperately attempted to make a powerful strike however the girl saw it coming and was ready.

“Scyther, use Fly.”

“What! It can learn that!”

The Scyther lunged into the air and avoided Primeape’s attack easily.

“Now let’s make the final blow!” The girl said.

“Scyther!” the Mantis Pokémon said as it struck the Primeape head on. It was easily knocked out in that finishing blow.

“No!” the man ranted. It was clearly obvious he was angry about his loss.

The judge looked over and declared the girl the winner.

“Alright! Way to go Scyther!” the girl said.

“Scyther!” the Pokémon said while dancing around with its bladed arms.

“You haven’t heard the end of this!” the opponent said.

“Dude just chill out.” The judge said. “It is just a simple tournament, its not like the Orre Championship.”

The loser stomped out in anger. While the girl fell to her knees in happiness.

“Congratulations, Heather.” The judge said.

“Thank you.” Heather said as she bowed to the judge.

“Here is 2000 dollars for your victory. Please spend it wisely.”

“I will and I hope to participate here again someday.”

The crowds continued to cheer on Heather as she left the building. Outside it was another hot and musty day. Heather quickly worked her way out of town however her friends caught up quickly.

“Heather!” another girl cried out.

“Andrea, did you see my win?”

“I did! It was so great!” Andrea replied.

“Hey that was a great move at the last second there.” said a boy about the same age as Andrea.

“Thanks Shawn.” Heather said. “Well we better get home before it gets too late.”

“Yeah I think you started some unneeded rivalries in this town now.” Andrea replied.

Heather, Andrea, and Shawn headed for a hovercraft near the police station. They all got in and took off to the Northwest. It was an about an hour and the sun was setting. They finally got into AgateVillage by dusk.

Heather waved goodbye to her friends as they retired into their homes. Heather took a slow walk up the hill to her home which was the highest tree in the village. Stars started to shine and the gentle winds blew across the grassy paths in the village. Her home was lit as her great-grandmother was preparing supper. She opened the door and received a warm welcome.

“Good evening, Heather.” Her great-grandmother said.

“Hi Grandma!”

“How are you tonight?”

“Great.” Heather replied. “I just won my first tournament!”

“Well that’s great.” The old woman said, “You are becoming just like your father.”

Heather smiled the best she could. The painful memory of her parents was a burden on her heart.

It was once again a simple meal for Heather and after dinner she helped cleaned up the dishes and wished her great-grandmother a good night. She then retired to her room which was in the highest point of the large tree. She walked out onto her balcony and looked over the endless landscape of the Orre region. It was a beautiful quiet night; she saw stars shining more brightly than ever. She then could see a bright light in the distance and she knew it was RealgamTower in one of their championship tournaments. She dreamed of competing in that tournament, it was her one goal as a trainer.

After a bit of daydreaming she opened her eyes to the sounds of some commotion below the PokémonCenter. Heather saw two shadowy figures walking into the secret cave. She wondered who would possibly be going into the scared forest at this time of night so she snuck out of the house and waked down to the lower parts of the village.



Heather carefully approached the entrance, however before she could go in she heard the hasty footsteps of the two strangers coming so she hid in a nearby bush. She could barely tell the looks of the two however they looked like they were in some sort of uniform. They wore a round helmet and their eyes were covered by the shaded visor of the helmet.

“Is the coast clear?” One of the persons asked.

“Yes, lets get out of here. I don’t want to get the same rude awakening these losers are going to get.”

Heather’s heart started to race. She didn’t know what they meant by their statement but it couldn’t be good. Once the two figures ran off into the dark desert, she left her hiding spot and raced into the cave. It took some time to wander through the passage but soon she emerged on the opposite side of the village where the RelicForest began. She decided to check the relic stone since it was the only manmade object in the forest.

Upon Heather’s arrival at the shrine, her heart skipped a beat when she saw a bomb tied onto the Relic Stone. A LED timer revealed it was only two minutes before it was to explode. She called out her Scyther from it’s poke ball as she raced to the stone.

“Scyther use slash to cut these ropes!”

“Scyther!” the Pokémon cried out as it quickly lashed through the ropes.

The bomb dropped into Heather’s arms and she started to race out of the forest. “Stay here Scyther! Don’t follow me!”

She touched the relic stone to get her footing and it that moment her mind was filled with an image she couldn’t tell what she saw except her mind was clouded with a dark aura. Soon she regained her composure and focused to the emergency on hand.

Heather raced through the secret cave as fast as she could. There was only about 20 seconds when the entrance was within her reach. She desperately continued to race for the nearby river and with only five seconds to spare, Heather tossed it into the water and she made for a dash back for the cave’s entrance.

When the timer clicked zero it exploded and a tower of water came shooting up into the sky. Heather fell to the ground from the shock of the blast. Soon lights to nearby houses started to light up as the residents of AgateVillage started to come out in curiosity of what happened. Heather was covered in water and mud that was a result of the explosion. Her Scyther came out of the cave and checked to see if its trainer was alright. Heather got up in slight pain and wiped the slime from her face.

“Heather!” cried out Andrea as she raced to her friend. “Are you alright?”

“Yes.” Heather said with a sigh of relief.

“What happened!?” cried out the village elder.

After a moment of explination, Heather led the elder and her friends into the forest and showed the rope which tied the bomb. Soon it wasn’t long before Heather started to receive praise from the other villagers for saving the relic stone.

“That shrine is all too important to protect.” The elder said. “You did a very good thing however I wouldn’t have wanted you to risk your life over it. It doesn’t matter now because what is done is done. You’re going to be quite the heroine around here now.”

“Thank you, Elder.” Heather replied.

“Now I suggest you get yourself a bath and a good night’s rest. I’ll make sure the Pyrite Town Police learn of this and we’ll watch over the shrine tonight.”

“Very well.”

Heather took off for home after saying good night to her friends. She then left her shoes outside and carefully made her way to the bathroom to clean up. She then spent most of the late-evening explaining to her great-grandmother what went on. After all of this she was wiped out and decided to go to bed. It wasn’t long before she fell into a quiet deep sleep.



Meanwhile the two shadowed figures watched the village from a cliff.

“What happened? I thought the river wasn’t supposed to explode.” One of the men said

“You idiot! Of course it wasn’t supposed to explode. Someone found the bomb and tossed it there before it exploded.” The other replied.

“Who did it?”

“I don’t know yet. So keep quiet and let me look.” The second figure continued to watch the crowd and noticed Heather who was covered in mud. “Her! It must be. She is a mess that only that bomb could have done.”

“Who? Let me see!”

“You dimwit! Back off! Dang it, the boss is going to kill us for this failure.”

Next time: Heather takes on the next challenge in her training career by challenging the Phenac City Stadium!

 

[mysterioustrainer]

Closed Heart - Chapter Two

Chapter Two

The night ended peacefully and a new day was born in the Orre Region. Heather accidentally slept over for about a half hour, however the smell of her great-grandmother making waffles woke her wary spirit. She still couldn’t believe what happened last night and how she just saved the village. After getting dressed she head down the stairs to greet her great-grandmother. After breakfast she could hear the horn to Shawn’s hovercraft. She left the house in a bit of a hurry, but not before she gave a good hug to her great-grandmother.

“Now don’t go and do anything hasty again okay?”

“I’ll try not to Grandma.” Heather replied.

Heather jumped of the cliff and landed perfectly in Shawn’s hovercraft. It gave Andrea a scare again, but Shawn was pretty well use to it.

“Ready Heather?” Shawn asked. “I hear another tournament is in the works at Phenac City. You should enter it.”

“I can enter that tournament now?” Heather asked while being very surprised.

“Oh yeah, your win at Pyrite qualified you to fight in Phenac Stadium.” Andrea replied.

“If you even get fourth place you are then qualified to climb Mt. Battle.”

This excited Heather. For the longest time she wanted to try her luck at the 100 trainer challenge however didn’t have the luck at local events to make it happen. So she took a deep breath while Shawn kicked in the gas. The group speed off in the hovercraft to the southeast.



Meanwhile in the depths of an old warehouse the two shadowed figures stood before another dark figure. There was very little light in the room and the only clear thing that could be seen was the edge of a desk.

“We have come to report sir!”

“Well boys. Have you done what I have commanded you to do?”

“No sir we failed the mission.”

“Now, now. How could have failed me with a task so simple?”

“A girl saw what we were doing and was able to get the bomb into the river before it exploded. Here is the video.”

One of the shadowed figures plugged in a USB cable into the binoculars. Then a LCD screen near by turned on showing the recorded playback of the binoculars. It showed the explosion in the river and eventually the zoomed in view of Heather being praised by the crowds. It wasn’t long before the playback ended.

“I see. This was most unfortunate for you wasn’t it?”

“Yes sir.”

“Then I will forgive for this one failure however it would be most wise to not let something like this happen again.”

“Yes sir, we will make sure our next mission succeeds this time.” The shadowed men said in unison.

“Very good, you may now go.” The dark figure replied.

“What about the girl?” asked one of the shadowed men.

“We shall not risk spoiling our new operation in the interest of revenge. Let her go. However in the rare event she should interfere again… Well I am sure you know what to do.”

“Yes sir.”

The two shadowed men disappeared into the darkness. Then the sound of a door opening and closing allowed the face of the dark figure to come into the light. The person’s hair was a humongous afro shaped and colored like a Poké Ball. The person wore eyeglasses that made him look like an overdressed celebrity.

“Yes my little girl. You are lucky to be on what good side I had there, just as I was lucky to be the leads of our plan again. However next time you won’t be. Let the music play!”



Heather had been to Phenac City before however never on such a nice day. The sun was shining brightly without a cloud in the sky, however a gentle breeze kept the denizens of the city cool. Heather and Andrea attention was caught on an extravagant clothing shop near the Pokémon Center however Shawn reminded them that the tournament would be starting soon. Reluctantly they moved on to the higher parts of the city.

The stadium featured an amazing crystal blue dome that shined like a sapphire. Heather was always excited to see the beautiful building however she never been in the main hall where tournament entrants applied. The tournament hall reopened about two years ago due to the Orre region becoming more and more popular for its Pokémon tournaments, something that other regions fail to offer. Inside the back wall was covered in gentle waterfalls. The lady at the desk greeted the trio.

“Hello, welcome to Phenac Stadium. How can I help you?”

Heather, overwhelmed with anxiety, approached the receptionist. “Hi, I would like to enter in the tournament.”

“Okay.” Replied the receptionist. “Have you won any tournaments outside of Phenac?”

“Yes. I took first place yesterday at the Pyrite Colosseum tournament.”

“Oh so you must be that heroine from Agate village.”

“Huh?” Heather said as she was caught off guard.

“The news is all over you! The newscaster said that you won the Pyrite tournament yesterday in conjunction with your actions that same evening. You must be one heck of an adventurer.”

Heather was embarrassed by the kind comments. “No I just happen to see the strangers who planted the bomb from my balcony. I didn’t really think I did all that much.”

“Well enough idle chat. Your tournament qualifications should make you a worthy competitor for this event. Please do your best and good luck.”

“Thank you ma’am.” Heather replied.

Heather was guided to the main door on the right hand side. It was huge and painted a bright blue. It opened and Heather gave one last wave to her friends. Soon the door closed behind her.

“You can go see the tournament in that balcony over there if you want.” Said the receptionist to Andrea and Shawn.

“Thank you ma’am we really appreciate it.” Replied Andrea.

Heather walked down the slightly dark hallway where she heard some commotion coming from a room to the right. Ahead was some closed doors so she peeked inside and saw a group hovered over a television showing a repeat newscast of her incident in Agate. She kept quiet not wanting to cause a scene however when one of the other competitors turned around and saw Heather he jumped up in excitement.

“Wow! Its you!”

This frightened Heather. The other five competitors turned to look to see who it is and was immensely surprised to see Heather standing at the doorway. The all were speechless until one of them broke the ice.

“Whoa the girl on the news is here in our tournament!”

Heather didn’t know what to say. “Um hi. Well I guess…”

“That was too cool what you did.”

“How much mud did you get on you?”

“Did you get hurt?” another girl asked.

“Well um.” Heather was more embarrassed to each question.

“Leave her alone.” an isolated voice said.

Heather turned to notice another competitor, clad in black, sitting on a couch alone. She was surprised that she failed to notice him.

“Just because she did a good thing to save her village doesn’t mean she is going to whoop all of your butts. However I wouldn’t be surprised if she did.”

Heather was confused by the competitor’s comments.

“My name is Eric.” The competitor said. “So you are the heroine Heather?”

“Yes sir.” Replied Heather. Her face was as bright as a ruby.

“I do hope you do your best. These six may look like clowns however they too have earned their place here like you have.”

“Hey! Who are you calling clowns Eric?” said the other girl. “Oh and by the ways Heather my name is Kimi.”

“Hello Kimi.” Heather said and then she turned to Eric again. “I always intend to give everything I got.”

“Good then maybe Pyrite might actually give us a run for our money this time.”

This intimidated Heather. She had the toughest trouble winning the tournament at Pyrite. She was afraid she was going to be the weakling in the room.

“Okay everyone.” A new voice said from the door. Heather turned to see a man clad in a green shirt with a Poké ball insignia on his right breast. Heather figured it was a tournament judge to get the event started. “I have our pairing for the first round here. As always, pairings are based on the ratings of each player here at Phenac. Eric you have the highest rating so you will face against Korte a newcomer from the Johto region. Kimi you get Saki from the Outpost.”

“Oh not again! We always battle in the first round.” Whined Kimi.

The tournament organizer continued down the list. Appearently another eight competitors waited in a separate room from Heather’s. Heather was excited to see who she would fight first. “Heather, since you are new as well you have to take the second seed in our tournament system which is Montio. He is from the Under.”

“Where is the ‘Under’?” Heather asked.

“You never heard of the Under?” said Kimi. “It was an abandoned mining colony underneath Pyrite however it was recently populated again. Trainers there are very harsh they say.”

“I see.”

“Well then, the first match is Heather’s come with me.” Said the judge. “Remember this is a three on three match. You can use any three Pokémon you wish for any match but once a player knocks out three Pokémon, that player wins.”

“Understood sir.”

Heather was shocked she couldn’t believe she would already be going into battle already. She was more scared than any of her previous events. It felt like a dozen Beautifly were tearing up her stomach. She was led onto a platform on a stream of water and the platform started to go upstream. She then could tell it was on a conveyor of sorts.

Heather knew what it looked inside Phenac Stadium however she knew seen it from the tournament floor. The spectators where like dots from the balconies. Banners which had the different kinds of Poké Balls decorated the hall. She got off onto the stadium floor which itself was also decorated like a Poké Ball. The water gave her an idea to her first battle.

Soon her opponent appeared. He was dressed pretty filthy and gave a mean look. He didn’t even reply when Heather tried to greet him. He seemed more interested in getting the battle started. She even tried to offer a handshake but he even turned that down.

“Trainers, Pokémon at the ready.” Said the judge.

Heather pulled out a ball and was ready for action. So was her opponent.

“Begin the match!”

Heather threw out her first Pokémon which was a rare Milotic. The audience gazed in awe at Heather’s first choice. Milotic were rare overall but the residents of Phenac didn’t even realize one was in the Orre region. Montio’s first Pokémon was also a water type, a Poliwrath.

“Milotic get in the water!” Heather commanded.

“Poliwrath you too and use Mega Punch!” Montio countered.

Both Pokémon jumped in. Poliwrath was swimming furiously trying to find Milotic, while Milotic swam gracefully underwater. Heather raised her arm with her fist clamped tight.

“Did you need something?” asked the Judge.

“No. Milotic knows what this means.”

Soon an explosion of water came from the entrance where Montio entered. Poliwrath came crashing down on the tournament floor but was not yet beaten. Milotic then jumped out of the water next to Heather’s side.

“Now Milotic use bubblebeam!”

Milotic shot off a plentitude of bubbles right at Poliwrath. Poliwrath was crying out in pain and jumped back into the water.”

“No Poliwrath. Get back up here!”

“Milotic go back and find it again.” Heather said checking Poliwrath’s retreat. Heather then gave a slashing motion with both of her arms and it wasn’t long before another explosion of water came only more intense than before. A ring of energized water shot straight into the ceiling and was then misting onto the audience. Then Poliwrath came crashing down into an opening of the water. It emerged upright and unconscious. The audience applused Heather for her unique attack as it gave them a much needed cool down in the warm room.

“Poliwrath is unable to battle. Milotic is the winner!” exclaimed the judge.

“Way to go! Milotic you were great!”

Milotic gave a gentle song of victory while Montio was cursing his bad luck. He then regained his composure and tossed out his next Pokémon.

 

[mysterioustrainer]

Chapter Three

The Pokeball flew high in the air and the next Pokémon to appear was a Raichu. It was very fierce looking so Heather recalled her Milotic and thought what she should use as her next Pokémon. Then it came to her what would work best.

“Arcanine, I choose you!” Heather called out as she threw the Poké Ball onto the stadium floor.

Heather’s Arcanine posed for the audience as it gave a daunting roar. The legendary Pokémon focused on Raichu and was poised for action.

“Raichu quick attack!” Montio commanded.

“Arcanine, Agility!”

Arcanine amazingly dodged the quick attack and Raichu only ended up falling in the water. Arcanine ran quickly around the huge arena and was able to charge the Raichu.

“Arcanine, use Fire Blast!” Heather ordered.

Arcanine shot off a wall of fire right at Raichu who was still swimming to get out of the pool. The blast hit right on which sent Raichu flying into the air. It landed on its feet however it already appeared exhausted.

“Grr. Raichu use Thunderbolt.”

Raichu started to shoot off lightning bolts at Arcanine but kept missing.

“Arcanine stop the electricity with your best Fire Spin yet.”

“Arcanine ran faster and fire started to spew from its fur. Soon the entire arena around Raichu was a giant column of fire. Raichu tried to fire more electricity however the Fire Spin was creating a Vacuum which channeled the electricity in pointless directions. Soon Raichu collapsed from the severe heat. Arcanine let up and the judge approached Raichu.

“Raichu is unable to battle. Arcanine is the winner.”

Heather jumped for joy as Arcanine howled in pride. Montio couldn’t believe he was losing so badly. He then took a deep breath and started to laugh.

“You think you won?” said Montio with a sneer look. “I just begun!” He threw his last Pokémon onto the field.

The Pokémon was a Blaziken, which is a rare Pokémon to see in these parts. When Heather first laid eyes on it she blanked out for a moment and was in pain. She was forced to close her eyes and in that moment she saw her mother however considerably younger from when Heather last knew her. In fact she was about Heather’s age. She approached Heather and simply said one word.

“Remember.”

Heather regain her conscience and looked at the Blaziken again. It wasn’t normal. It was shrouded in a dark black aura. She couldn’t understand why either.

“Why is that Pokémon glowing black like that?” Heather asked.

This caught the attention of an audience member dressed in black. He looked rather shocked to hear what Heather just said. He focused his hearing even more to pay attention to the battle.

“What are you talking about?” Montio asked.

“Can’t you see it? Your Blaziken is shouded in darkness.” Heather replied.

“Enough with these silly distractions. Blaziken!”

Blaziken stared at Arcanine and Heather with the coldest eyes and then started to charge. Arcanine poised in position ready to defend against whatever Blaziken was willing to dish out. However Blaziken instead jumped over Arcanine and headed straight for Heather. Heather tried block with her arms but a swift and very powerful punch knocked her into the water.

“Stop the match. A Pokémon attacking a human is a disqualification. Heather wins!” Cried out the judge.

The judge got on his intercom and called out for the police. Arcanine was furious and attacked Blaziken with full force using the most powerful Extreme Speed attack it could muster. Knocking blaziken to the ground Arcanine then pinned the Pokémon to prevent it from moving. Police officer on standby quickly surrounded Montio and arrested him. He tried to resist however it was no use. His Poké Balls were stripped from him and he was hauled off. Meanwhile, Andrea and Shawn jumped out of the balcony onto the tournament floor and ran to get Heather out of the water.

“Heather! Heather! Are you okay?” Cried out Andrea! Heather was barely conscious and in pain.

“Heather stay with me! Heather! Hea…”

Andrea tried to keep her awake however darkness finally consumed her.



Heather soon woke to find herself in the Pokémon Center at Phenac City. She was in the trainer’s lodge of the center and in bed with a bandage around her arm. An icepack was wrapped around her head. She recalled what happened and looked outside and realized the tournament had to be over because it was now night. Andrea was resting her head on Heather’s bedside however woke up to see her best friend was awake.

“Heather, you are alright.” Andrea said in a faint voice.

“Yeah I am in quite a bit of pain though. What happened?” Heather asked.

“That nasty Blaziken gave you a hard hitting punch. It even bruised your arm badly.”

“Oh yeah. But did Arcanine finish the match on its own?”

“Oh Heather you fool. Concerned about winning more than your own self. It didn’t matter. Montio was disqualified and arrested. His Pokémon are now in the custody of this Pokémon Center. It was a good thing too Arcanine was so upset and made that Blaziken kiss the dirt. We were lucky it then didn’t turn on Montio.”

“Well Arcanine knows better.” Heather said with a giggle. “Why did that Blaziken attack me and not Arcanine and why was it glowing that black aura?”

“Well we don’t know why it attacked you, but it wasn’t glowing at all. You must have been seeing things.” Andrea replied.

“No, I am sure of it.” Said Heather “Blaziken was shrouded in this black aura. It was frightening! It looked evil.”

“But Pokémon aren’t naturally evil, however this case might prove me wrong.”

“So who won the tournament?”

“The tournament isn’t over.”

“They finished the first round and since you automatically won they decided to postpone the final matches until tomorrow. They want you there because you put on a super great show.”

“That is great!” Heather said with excitement.

“We let your great-grandma know of what happened and Shawn should be coming back from Agate with some clothes for you to wear tomorrow. We are going to stay the night here okay.”

“Alright. Is grandma okay with that?”

“She is worried to death about you however she said you will be alright with us.” Andrea replied.

“That is good. Hey I am hungry. Is there anything to eat here?”

“Don’t worry Heather I’ll get us something to eat. Hey wait a second.”

“What is it Andrea?” Heather asked.

“I don’t remember your eyes being bright blue like that.”

“What my eyes are blue?”

“Yeah take a look!” Andrea gave Heather a hand mirror to look in.

“Whoa!” Heather dropped the mirror into her lap. She was in shock to see her eyes look so different. They use to be a hazel color but now they were beautiful and bright just like the sky on a clear day. “What happened?”

“I don’t know let me get the nurse.”

Andrea ran out the door from the lodge. Soon Andrea and a young lady in a hospital outfit came to check on Heather.

“Hello my name is Nurse Joy, please let me take a look at your eyes.”

“Oh hi Nurse Joy. It’s a long way to come down from Agate isn’t?” said Heather.

“Oh I fear you are mistaken. The Nurse Joy in Agate Village is my sister.”

“Okay. She never told us that. Are you sure you are not her?”

“Yep!” Nurse joy said with a smile while showing a peace sign with her hand.

Heather felt more confused than better. Nurse Joy took a closer look at Heather’s eye while comparing it to Heather’s identification card however decided there wasn’t anything wrong with her.

“Are you wearing contacts at all?”

“No.”

“Hmm weird. I am a nurse for Pokémon so I can’t really diagnose this however I never ever heard of anything like this anywhere. I suggest you see an optometrist about this although there really aren’t any in the Orre region.”

“It doesn’t hurt though and I can see fine.” Heather said.

“Then for right now don’t worry about it. I suggest you get some rest.”



Meanwhile far away from Phenac city the black figure from the audience took an elevator down a shaft deep underground. He then walked through the Under, until he reached an isolated building. There he worked his ways through the halls until he reached a second elevator and when even deeper. Then he came to a subway and boarded the train and inserted a key. There the train went deep into a tunnel. Soon he emerged on the other side and departed the train into a strange building working his way into a dark office.

“Sir. I have some news.”

“Report Ein.” Said a deep and cold voice from the darkness.

“I fear the descendant of Rui has her mother’s gift.” The black figure then handed a digital camera which played back the last few moments of Heather’s battle.

“I see.” The person then came out of the darkness. He was dressed in a dark purple cloak with evil white hair that flowed in all directions. His eyes were red and his facial expression would suck the happiness out of anyone who would see him. “I suggest you take care of it before we face the same failure that destroyed the first time.”

“It is already underway, Master Nascour.”

Remember your comments are the key to helping me make a great story! If you like or dislike what you are reading then please let me know!

 

[King of the Munchlax]

I only have one complanit. There is little if not no descrption. I can understand not describing a Pokemon, but you really need to give more detail of your characters and the scenory. Other than that, this story is well written, there are few grammar mistakes, and well I like the story idea.

6/10 Stars

 

[mysterioustrainer]

A very good note. Thank you.

I should probably focus more on detail in enviroment and such. However you may not see much of a change until the 10th chapter since chapters one through nine are already written. Keep reading though.

I am out of town right now so chapter four will be posted on Monday.