comebacks/insults/pick up lines

[Ice Blue Dragon]

^ that one was good.

When someone annoys me, I prefer to just yell a parodox at them and run.

 

[Josiah]

I was eating a Boston Creme donut as I read this
I feel so sick.

still sorry :[

There's an idiot in my class,so to make a comeback I say:

"I should kick you in the dick!Oh wait,you don't have one!"

I don't know, but if someone said that to me I would assume they were the idiot in the class.

 

[Tyranitarquake]

This thread won't last

Shut up, *****.

Theres my contribution I guess.

 

[PsychedelicJellyfish]

"I'd like to see things from your viewpoint but I just can't get my head that far up my own arse."

 

[streetlightdsb]

If you get someone who keeps mimicking you...
"If I wanted my own comeback I would have wiped it off your mom's chin."

I'm so sorry.

If only I had been online 4 hours ago; this is exactly what I was thinking.

Besides that though, it depends on what's being said. I try to be wittier on the fly than to shoot off pre-planned comebacks!

Also pick up lines do not work.

 

[Gelatino95]

Besides that though, it depends on what's being said. I try to be wittier on the fly than to shoot off pre-planned comebacks!

That doesn't work for me since I'm a relatively slow thinker. I can rarely come up with witty material on the spot. Whenever I think of something good, it's too late and it would sound totally awkward if I said it at that point.

If you get someone who keeps mimicking you...
"If I wanted my own comeback I would have wiped it off your mom's chin."

I still don't get this one.

 

[Snorunt conservationist]

Get your coat I've got a knife made me chuckle the first time.

However, nothing will ever touch the revulsion/chuckle I had to suppress with "let's not turn this rape into a murder".

If you could use those and still pull, well played sir, well played.

 

[Gelatino95]

gf: you don't love me.
me: yes i do!!
gf: no you donttt. if you did, you would tell the whole world.
me: i love you.
gf: that wasn't the whole world -.-
me: you ARE my whole world <3
gf: awwwwwwwwwwhh! i love you too baby! im so sorry <3

That last line would never happen in our world.

 

[Josiah]

That doesn't work for me since I'm a relatively slow thinker. I can rarely come up with witty material on the spot. Whenever I think of something good, it's too late and it would sound totally awkward if I said it at that point.



I still don't get this one.

comeback
*** back

 

[Tyranitarquake]

That doesn't work for me since I'm a relatively slow thinker. I can rarely come up with witty material on the spot. Whenever I think of something good, it's too late and it would sound totally awkward if I said it at that point.

It's the same for me. Not only comebacks though, almost everything. It's one of the reasons why I fail at english in school. Takes me a good chunk of time to think of something decent.

 

[streetlightdsb]

That doesn't work for me since I'm a relatively slow thinker. I can rarely come up with witty material on the spot. Whenever I think of something good, it's too late and it would sound totally awkward if I said it at that point.

I did say try I think if you're trying to seem witty by coming up with something you've prepared in advance then you'll look less clever than if you say nothing personally.

I think it was Lincoln who said "It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt".

 

[Adrexus]

This thread won't last

Thank you for the insightful contribution.

Favorite insult though, would have to be Neil Degrasse Tyson.

 

[abrar14]

Your mums so ugly that when i took her to a haunted house she came out with a job application

 

[natie]

Summary of this thread: your mum.

 

[Moneyy]

Whenever you get into an argument with a girl, just tell them a joke:

Women's rights.

 

[HatersGonnaHate]

if you're getting into a fight with one of those "cool" girls who think they are the Sh*t, just say

"you're as fake as your hair color"

if you're getting into a fight with a douchebag, just walk away and say

"tell your mom I'll be over at 8"

 

[Asbestospoison]

How appropriate. You fight like a cow.

Monkey Island references aside, my favorite comeback would have to be this:
Some prissy annoying popular girl:"That shirt is so stupid and ugly"
Me: "Said the girl wearing a Justin Beiber shirt"
Girl: "No one even likes Captain America"
Me: "No one likes you either, but I don't see you on anyone's shirt"

 

[Gelatino95]

if you're getting into a fight with a douchebag, just walk away and say

"tell your mom I'll be over at 8"

You might want to make sure you know who you're dealing with before you try this. You could very well get beat up for that.

 

[3lmi]

Did you just fart? Because you blew me away girl.

 

[Skwog]

I put the STD in "stud" and all that's missing is you.
Works every time.