Corrupt A Wish

[Captain Jigglypuff]

Granted. You get a copy of Gift of the Magi superglued to a carp!

I wish I had a giant lollipop!

 

[Deadeye]

Granted. Your new lollipop has been delivered to your house, but it is so big, it accidently crushed your property.

I wish more power than anyone else has ever had!

 

[TheWanderingMist]

Granted, you are now the Sun and incapable of conscious thought. 3 yottawatts per year ought to be enough power to satisfy that requirement.


I wish I got something other than rocks at Halloween.

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

Granted. You get candy laced with arsenic and cyanide and eat some and are now Dead!

I wish I had a magical unicorn!

 

[Conquering Storm]

Granted. It's evil, and uses its magical powers to brainwash you into helping it destroy the world.

I wish I never had to wash my clothes.

 

[Minedreigon]

Granted. But now you need to iron them 3 times a day.

I wish I could talk to cats.

 

[Ask]

Granted, but they still don't understand what you're saying and still can't talk back.

I wish for a good meal.

 

[TheWanderingMist]

Granted. What would you like for your last meal, number 43527?

I wish I were a space cop.

 

[Tsukuyomi56]

Granted, but you can never return to Earth.

I wish for a spa.

 

[Kung Fu Ferret]

Granted, but the yelp reviews say it's Terrible.

I wish for another Ice Age to happen

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

Granted. Ice Age gets another unnecessary sequel that is so bad that it singlehandedly ruins the industry for all forms of animation. Even anime stops being made. Good job, jerk!

I wish I had a pet rock!

 

[Conquering Storm]

Granted. Shortly after you get it, someone throws it at your head with deadly force.

I wish for iTunes to go back to the version where it was actually usable.

 

[TheWanderingMist]

Granted. This change lasts for 3 seconds and then iTunes shuts down forever.


I wish I had a gaming PC.

 

[Ask]

Granted, but it's broken.

I wish I didn't have to sneeze.

 

[Conquering Storm]

Granted. You now permanently have the feeling that you're about to sneeze.

I wish people would stop using "gay" as an insult.

 

[Minedreigon]

Granted. However, all instances of the use of the word with its archaic meaning of cheery or happy are also censored.

I wish I could live a viable nocturnal life.

 

[Tsukuyomi56]

Granted, you are now an owl.

I wish for a parrot.

 

[Kung Fu Ferret]

Granted. It constantly squawks out curse words three times an hour!

I wish all dead internet memes would be permanently revived

 

[Minedreigon]

Granted. But now you must watch and learn, here’s the deal. Every 5 seconds you will slip and slide on a banana peel. Hahaha. *slipping sounds* *gasp* What are you doing.

I wish the moon was always full.

 

[Conquering Storm]

Granted. It's also a blood moon every night, so you have to spend way more time fighting monsters now.

I wish the Pokémon game soundtracks were on Spotify.