Corrupt A Wish

[NebulaDreams]

Granted, but it not only has no headphone jack or charging port, it also has no screen.

I wish for someone to give me a free hug.

 

[Monster Guy]

Granted

I wish for something sweet to eat.

 

[Tsukuyomi56]

Granted, here is a brownie the size of a matchbox.

I wish for a pillow.

 

[TheWanderingMist]

Granted. It's made of the wool of lambs that you murdered.

I wish for a good book

 

[Conquering Storm]

Granted. It's a collection of H.P. Lovecraft stories, and reading the name of any of the eldritch horrors it speaks of instantly summons that horror into the real world.

I wish to be able to teleport.

 

[Monster Guy]

Granted, but you can only teleport two steps from where your currently standing.

I wish for I were more decisive.

 

[NebulaDreams]

Granted, but your first decision is to murder your boss.

I wish for my room to magically clean itself.

 

[TheWanderingMist]

Granted, but it considers you a foreign object to be removed.


I wish I could attend a Wizarding school.

 

[Wolfaotic]

Granted, but you attend right in the middle of a wizard vs. muggle war.

I wish I could wish for more wishes.

 

[Nerdy McNerdface]

Granted but they all have to directly involve the Despicable Me minions.

I wish for unlimited video game money.

 

[NebulaDreams]

Granted, but all you can spend it on are useless microtransactions.

I wish for no more wishes to be made by anyone.

 

[keepitsimple]

Granted. Now everyone makes rude demands instead of wishes.

Give me a microwave you lazy turd.

 

[TrottingMinccino]

Granted, you're given a single Microwave in a jar. The literal wave, not the appliance...

I wish the Animal Crossing world was real...

 

[Conquering Storm]

Granted. However, if you try to go there, it makes the fabric of space-time unstable and breaks the multiverse.

I wish I didn't have to go to school.

 

[TheWanderingMist]

Granted, you are now dead and bound as a ghost to a random location on Earth.


I wish I was the smartest person in the world.

 

[Tsukuyomi56]

Granted, but all you can think about is dragons.

I wish for some salad.

 

[TikTok13]

Granted, yet you find yourself unable to eat a single morsel.

I wish that Mipha was real.

 

[Conquering Storm]

Granted. Sadly, she's still dead, and in the real world she can't manifest as a spirit.

I wish for an infinite supply of tasty, non-poisoned cake.

 

[TrottingMinccino]

Granted, but you're pestered indefinitely by Swirlix who are attracted by all that cake!

I wish a bottomless jar of marmalade.

 

[M.P.]

Granted, but it's literally bottomless and the marmalade leaks to the floor.

I wish I had less schoolwork.