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D.R.O.P.s

Sweet Pinpuku

Happy Happiny
Hiya!
Well, this isn't my first fic on these forums, at least not on this username, I just thought I should mention that :) Um, I'll probably rate this fic about PG-13 for now.
Anyways, here's the Prologue:

000 – Prologue​

My dad – the amazing trainer from a tiny, little island in the middle of nowhere, who defeated eight Gym Leaders, the Elite Four and the Hoenn League Champion.
Amazing. . .


------------------------​

I rolled out of bed that Thursday morning, still half asleep, but awake enough to know what today was – my little sister’s sixteenth birthday. It was scary to think how old she was now, but I was still happy that today was finally here.
Today I was set free. I could finally leave this isolated island and travel to Hoenn and trace my father’s footsteps, hoping to find him. The only thing wrong with my plan was that I felt too old to go and travel with Pokémon now. Most people begin training at the age of ten, whereas I had to wait until my sister was old and mature enough to look after my mother and brother in my absence. Things had only gotten worse after my father left when I was little.
But, now, I was soon to be nineteen, in about four months. The life I had always dreamed of living was almost about to come true, although it was eight years late.

------------------------​

Many people considered my mother, Sandra Gribbens, to be a very cool and likeable person, a brilliant mother to her three children and a model wife. However, like my father, I did not see her in this particular light.
In my eyes, she was a crazy, controlling perfectionist, constantly cleaning and straightening everything over and over again, qualities I had grown to hate. She was also very forgetful, sometimes asking the same question multiple times before the answer would stay inside her head.
It did not surprise me that my father had left her.

------------------------​

A lot of thoughts filled my head as I left my little island home to travel to a small town known as Littleroot. I had not said anything to anybody about leaving, except my best friend Cassie. It felt weird to leave without saying goodbye to my mother, sister and brother. I almost regretted leaving.
Almost.
But, a lot of good things made my thoughts of regret and guilt vanish. Well, almost.
I would finally get a Pokémon of my own. I would get a chance to see lots of new places, new Pokémon and make new friends. But, most importantly, it was a chance for me to be myself in a world of strangers. People would only know me for who I am.
No more hiding.

------------------------​

“We have docked in Olivine City!” A male voice announced over the intercom, “We will be leaving for Slateport City at nine am tomorrow morning!”

Well, this was it. There was no way of going back now. The ferry would leave for Slateport tomorrow morning and would not return to Olivine for another week. After that, it would go to Vermilion City and not return to my island home another two weeks after that.
I wasn’t too sure that I wanted to do this anymore. I was so scared. . .

------------------------​

Thanks for reading the Prologue, I hope you liked it :)
The first chapter - Doing Fine In Olivine - will be posted over the next few days. Until then, see ya! :D
 

Smile Guy

Keep Smiling...
It's a little short, and a little rushed, but as it's the prologue I'll let you off.

I think you didn't put enough detail into anything. You described people well enough but it didn't seem good enough to just describe them. It also didn't seem very realistic. Even though his mum might be a controlling, forgetful perfectionist, he would hold her in a high light.
I will give a longer review soon...
 

not_awake

Who flung poo?
Yes, I agree with Smile Guy. The mother was a bit hard to understand and the character's feelings towards her confused me. It seems like she's suffering from OCD or perhaps with Alzheimer's. Granted, he may have resented her for her perfectionist nature before hand, but wouldn't the onset of these things soften his veiw of her. Though maybe not... that could be part of the character's development. However, disliking an enfeebled women without providing some more reasoning, does not a likable character make. '

For now, the main seems unempathetic, but I'll stick around to see where you're going with this.
 
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