Umbramatic
The Ghost Lord
So! Me and Dragonfree decided to do a thing and swap some of our long-running Pokefic characters from now on - I got Dave and Mia, and she got Tom and Roger. This may be tough for you all to swallow, but to make things easier we did sample oneshots of what that entails - here’s mine!
Dave And Mia Discover The Multiverse
Dave woke up. As usual, it was when his day took a turn for the worse, but today he knew something in particular was up.
****. This wasn't his house. This wasn't his bed. Why the hell are there sci-fi decals all over the walls?
He got up. Good, his pajamas were still there. He-
There was a dull thud like something cutting into wood, and a yell.
Dammit, Mia.
Dave rushed out of the unfamiliar door down the unfamiliar steps, and into an unfamiliar room, where indeed an unfamiliar woman was gawking at an all-too-familiar Scyther hybrid.
Said Scyther hybrid currently had her scythes embedded in a coffee table.
Dave sighed. "Mia. Get your scythes out of the coffee table right now."
Mia grunted and obliged, turning to the staring woman. "Sorry."
Dave turned to look more closely at the woman. She had dark skin, blue eyes, and white hair. The hair, oddly enough, looked natural. Dave didn't think she looked that bad, but had no inclination of asking her out in a situation like this.
The woman, still gawking, raised an eyebrow. "What are you two doing in our house and what have you done with Tom and Roger?"
"Who and who?" said Dave.
"I don't know who those are," said Mia.
"This doesn't make any sense;" said the woman. "Tom and Roger didn't mention visiting family for Easter and they certainly didn't mention replacing themselves with people who have no idea who they are in order to do so."
It was Easter shenanigans, then; thought Dave. He ****ing hated Easter.
"If today's Easter is this kidnapping more Jesus bullshit then?"
"It's not a kidnapping! I have no clue who you are! And who's Jesus? Easter is about-"
It was at this point a young man with long green hair entered the room, carrying a tray of cookies.
"Hey Reshiram I made-"
He stopped to gawk at the scene.
"Hi," said Mia. "You have green hair like me."
"And who's the pretty boy?" said Dave.
"I'm... N," he said. "What's going on here?"
"N? Reshiram? Those are seriously your names?" said Dave.
N sighed. "It's complicated."
Dave had no ****ing clue what this guy named after a letter and this girl named after a mythical creature were on about. But his main focus was on how the hell he got in their house.
It was then that Dave heard an angry chittering and beeping from behind him and Mia. He turned to find a Scrafty and Golurk leering at them.
"Hi again," said Mia.
"Those are Vladmir and Estragon," said N.
"They're wondering where their Trainers are," said Reshiram.
"Okay so these guys disappeared but not their pets, what does-"
The Scrafty gave a hiss.
"He said he's not a pet."
"Wait, you can understand that thing?"
"Monese is a hard language to learn," said N, but I was raised to-"
"OK, hold up," said Dave. "You're telling me Pokemon are sapient."
"Yes?" said N.
"Not everyone knows it but it's true," said Reshiram.
"****, are we like, in some weird alternate universe or something?" said Dave. "Like one of Jean's stupid TV shows?"
As if to answer his question a portal opened that the entire room gawked at. Out of it stepped another Dave and Mia.
"Okay, something's going on and-" the other Dave started to say before staring at his counterpart.
"Oh, it's another me. Hey other me," said Mia.
"Hi back, other me," said the other Mia.
After overcoming his initial shock, Dave noticed the other Dave was noticeably older than him - not enough to impact his roguish good looks, but apparent all the same. The other Mia, on the other hand, was about the same age but distinctly more Scyther-like - she had green chitin armor covering parts of her body, wings, and more Scyther-like elbow blades.
The other Dave recovered from his shock and sighed. "Yep, this is an alternate universe."
"Are you related to those alternate universe people who were here the other day?" said Reshiram.
"That was certainly odd," said N.
"Is this what they call a noodle incident?" said the other Mia.
"I have no ****ing idea, any of you" said the other Dave. He then turned to the original Dave. "Quick question, does the name Pokefutures ring a bell to you?"
Dave shrugged. "Not at all."
"Okay, good, it isn't those creeps, you never had the misfortune of running in with them. Thing is, something weird is going on?"
"Ya think?" said Dave.
"He's being sarcastic," said Mia.
"Well yes, but beyond that!" said the other Dave. "Something's happening on a cosmic scale, and we-"
Suddenly the portal wavered. And then burst. And then pulled everyone in.
------------------
When Dave came to, he and the others were in a seemingly peaceful-looking area, with sunny skies and rolling hills. The next thing he noticed was that the group had been split into teams of four by their surroundings separating them; himself, the other Mia, Reshiram, and Estragon on one side, and the other Dave, his Mia, N, and Vladimir on the other.
Before he could get a further bearing on his surroundings, he noticed Reshiram transforming into... An actual Reshiram.
"What the ****," said Dave. "So you're an actual goddamn Reshiram and didn't tell us."
~You showed up out of nowhere!~ she said telepathically.
"Guys, I think we have more pressing problems," said the other Dave.
Several strange Pokemon were approaching the two groups. The two Mias immediately lunged for one each - a Magnemite on the other Mia's side and a Jigglypuff with an umbrella on Dave's Mia's side. The two Pokemon disappeared in a puff of smoke upon being attacked, but this caused changes to occur with the two Mias - Dave's was now weilding an umbrella, and the other Mia had a jester hat and a crackling electric baton. The two immediately started clearing the path of enemies with their newfound powerups, as the others watched in confusion.
"Beat enemies, steal their powers, wreak havok?" said the other Dave?"
"I don't like it but that seems to be the case," said N.
Vladimir and Estragon cracked their knuckles.
They proceeded onward in the wake of the Mias, picking up various power-ups as they went. Dave got weaponized cooking utensils, the other Dave got a magic paintbrush that could conjure attacks, Reshiram got water powers in addition to her fire ones, Vladimir became a ninja, Estragon used offensive ESP, and N had a headband that let him suplex everything and everyone.
Eventually, the two groups merged, and became an army that crushed any of the strange Pokemon in their path.
That is, until they encountered a hammer-wielding Empoleon.
"I'm gonna clobbah that there Kirby!" said the Empoleon.
"Who the **** is Kirby?" said the other Dave.
"More importantly," said Dave,"'why is the ****ing Empoleon speaking English?"
Before anyone could question him further the Empoleon swung his hammer and hit Dave's Mia, sending her flying.
"Hey!" said Dave. He retaliated by throwing a frying pan at the Empoleon's head, followed by an ESP blast from Estragon and a ninja sword strike from Vladimir. The Empoleon retaliated with a ground pound approximating an Earthquake, wracking the entire party, but not stopping Reshiram from unleashing a steam blast and the other Dave from striking with a cyclone of paint. The Empoleon responded by charging a massive strike with his hammer, but before he could pull it off he heard a voice from behind him.
"Sorry about this!"
And the Empoleon was then thoroughly suplexed into the earth by N.
Upon the Empoleon's defeat, another portal opened.
~Should we even go through?~ said Reshiram.
"Do we even have a choice?" said Dave.
After several begrudging murmurs of assent they went through.
---------------
The group emerged in a grassy field on the back of a titanic beast. Various strange Pokemon roamed around, many of them much more massive than normal.
Upon inspecting each other, the group now noticed that they had been somehow grouped into pairs by shimmering waves of light - Dave with Mia, other Dave with other Mia, N with Reshiram, and Vladmir with Estragon. In addition Dave, other Dave, N, and Vladmir all had strange swords themed around their partners.
Estragon chittered. "He says this is super-freaky," said N.
~At least I see a town over there,~ said Reshiram.
Everyone marched to the town, looking around but noticing strange looks back. Eventually, however, they found themselves surrounded by men in strange uniforms.
"Halt!" one said. "You are unregistered Drivers with unregistered Blades! Surrender yourselves now in the name of the Empire!"
"Who, what, and what the ****?" said Dave.
The Mias immediately lunged at the men while Reshiram breathed a jet of flame and Estragon Drain Punched any that came close. The rest made do with their new weapons to cut though anybody in their path.
The men still seemed determined, but a bomb suddenly launched itself above them and detonated, scaring them off. Soon after a Wigglytuff beckoned the group to head into a nearby alleyway.
"In here!" he said.
The group quickly followed and huddled together around the Wigglytuff.
"Imperial guards get more aggressive lately!" he said. "Good thing Tora come to rescue!"
"Great, this one speaks English too," muttered Dave under his breath.
"Er, Tora, was it?" said N. "Do you know how to get us home?"
"Home?" Tora said. "You are very strange Drivers and Blades... maybe from other Titan?"
"More like another universe," said the other Dave.
"Other universe?" said Tora. "That easy-peasy! What kind universe?"
"Lots of humans, but lots of Pokemon too," said Mia.
"Not as fancy as yours and the Pokemon stay in balls," said the other Mia.
"Hmm, Tora can't get you there, but can get you there that can get you there!"
He pulled out a strange device, gave it a few cranks, and pressed a button to generate a portal.
"Ta-da! Tora make out of spare parts and ill-gotten change."
N smiled. "Thanks, Tora."
And with that the group dived in again.
---------------
The next world was one of spires and crystals, where people of inhuman shapes and sizes walked together with their Pokemon. Dave reached out and tapped a tall pointy-eared girl with a Togepi on the shoulder.
"Excuse me, miss... You wouldn't happen to know where you could find any so-called dimensional experts?"
"Oh? I wouldn't know anyone of that persuasion specifically..." she said. "But Cid might know!"
She pointed to a large docked airship. "I last saw him over there."
Vladmir beeped his thanks, and he and the others headed in. Once inside they found a white-haired, bearded man and his Torkoal working at a forge.
"Excuse me, sir," said N. "Do you know anything about dimensional travel?"
"Me?" said Cid. "Well, I'm mainly working on something else right now..."
He gestured to a massive mirror-like structure nearby. "But that Magitek device over there should help. Just don't break it, it could reset reali-"
Thunk.
Mia withdrew her blades from the mirror. "Thought I saw something crawling on it."
In an instant, everything unraveled. Pictures became words, words became nothingness, memories became dreams. All reset back to normal, with only the memories of everyone but Daves and Mias to testify anything had happened at all - and they'd rather pretend it didn't happen.
--------------------
A certain Zygarde paused, sat back from the computer they had hijacked, admired their work, and pressed "Send" multiple times on multiple websites. They were new to the whole fanfiction thing but they quite liked what they had done here.
Having shifted to human form they put their feet up on their desk and grinned.
"Ain't I a stinker?"
***
Happy (late as of this posting of the fic) April Fools. : )
Dave And Mia Discover The Multiverse
Dave woke up. As usual, it was when his day took a turn for the worse, but today he knew something in particular was up.
****. This wasn't his house. This wasn't his bed. Why the hell are there sci-fi decals all over the walls?
He got up. Good, his pajamas were still there. He-
There was a dull thud like something cutting into wood, and a yell.
Dammit, Mia.
Dave rushed out of the unfamiliar door down the unfamiliar steps, and into an unfamiliar room, where indeed an unfamiliar woman was gawking at an all-too-familiar Scyther hybrid.
Said Scyther hybrid currently had her scythes embedded in a coffee table.
Dave sighed. "Mia. Get your scythes out of the coffee table right now."
Mia grunted and obliged, turning to the staring woman. "Sorry."
Dave turned to look more closely at the woman. She had dark skin, blue eyes, and white hair. The hair, oddly enough, looked natural. Dave didn't think she looked that bad, but had no inclination of asking her out in a situation like this.
The woman, still gawking, raised an eyebrow. "What are you two doing in our house and what have you done with Tom and Roger?"
"Who and who?" said Dave.
"I don't know who those are," said Mia.
"This doesn't make any sense;" said the woman. "Tom and Roger didn't mention visiting family for Easter and they certainly didn't mention replacing themselves with people who have no idea who they are in order to do so."
It was Easter shenanigans, then; thought Dave. He ****ing hated Easter.
"If today's Easter is this kidnapping more Jesus bullshit then?"
"It's not a kidnapping! I have no clue who you are! And who's Jesus? Easter is about-"
It was at this point a young man with long green hair entered the room, carrying a tray of cookies.
"Hey Reshiram I made-"
He stopped to gawk at the scene.
"Hi," said Mia. "You have green hair like me."
"And who's the pretty boy?" said Dave.
"I'm... N," he said. "What's going on here?"
"N? Reshiram? Those are seriously your names?" said Dave.
N sighed. "It's complicated."
Dave had no ****ing clue what this guy named after a letter and this girl named after a mythical creature were on about. But his main focus was on how the hell he got in their house.
It was then that Dave heard an angry chittering and beeping from behind him and Mia. He turned to find a Scrafty and Golurk leering at them.
"Hi again," said Mia.
"Those are Vladmir and Estragon," said N.
"They're wondering where their Trainers are," said Reshiram.
"Okay so these guys disappeared but not their pets, what does-"
The Scrafty gave a hiss.
"He said he's not a pet."
"Wait, you can understand that thing?"
"Monese is a hard language to learn," said N, but I was raised to-"
"OK, hold up," said Dave. "You're telling me Pokemon are sapient."
"Yes?" said N.
"Not everyone knows it but it's true," said Reshiram.
"****, are we like, in some weird alternate universe or something?" said Dave. "Like one of Jean's stupid TV shows?"
As if to answer his question a portal opened that the entire room gawked at. Out of it stepped another Dave and Mia.
"Okay, something's going on and-" the other Dave started to say before staring at his counterpart.
"Oh, it's another me. Hey other me," said Mia.
"Hi back, other me," said the other Mia.
After overcoming his initial shock, Dave noticed the other Dave was noticeably older than him - not enough to impact his roguish good looks, but apparent all the same. The other Mia, on the other hand, was about the same age but distinctly more Scyther-like - she had green chitin armor covering parts of her body, wings, and more Scyther-like elbow blades.
The other Dave recovered from his shock and sighed. "Yep, this is an alternate universe."
"Are you related to those alternate universe people who were here the other day?" said Reshiram.
"That was certainly odd," said N.
"Is this what they call a noodle incident?" said the other Mia.
"I have no ****ing idea, any of you" said the other Dave. He then turned to the original Dave. "Quick question, does the name Pokefutures ring a bell to you?"
Dave shrugged. "Not at all."
"Okay, good, it isn't those creeps, you never had the misfortune of running in with them. Thing is, something weird is going on?"
"Ya think?" said Dave.
"He's being sarcastic," said Mia.
"Well yes, but beyond that!" said the other Dave. "Something's happening on a cosmic scale, and we-"
Suddenly the portal wavered. And then burst. And then pulled everyone in.
------------------
When Dave came to, he and the others were in a seemingly peaceful-looking area, with sunny skies and rolling hills. The next thing he noticed was that the group had been split into teams of four by their surroundings separating them; himself, the other Mia, Reshiram, and Estragon on one side, and the other Dave, his Mia, N, and Vladimir on the other.
Before he could get a further bearing on his surroundings, he noticed Reshiram transforming into... An actual Reshiram.
"What the ****," said Dave. "So you're an actual goddamn Reshiram and didn't tell us."
~You showed up out of nowhere!~ she said telepathically.
"Guys, I think we have more pressing problems," said the other Dave.
Several strange Pokemon were approaching the two groups. The two Mias immediately lunged for one each - a Magnemite on the other Mia's side and a Jigglypuff with an umbrella on Dave's Mia's side. The two Pokemon disappeared in a puff of smoke upon being attacked, but this caused changes to occur with the two Mias - Dave's was now weilding an umbrella, and the other Mia had a jester hat and a crackling electric baton. The two immediately started clearing the path of enemies with their newfound powerups, as the others watched in confusion.
"Beat enemies, steal their powers, wreak havok?" said the other Dave?"
"I don't like it but that seems to be the case," said N.
Vladimir and Estragon cracked their knuckles.
They proceeded onward in the wake of the Mias, picking up various power-ups as they went. Dave got weaponized cooking utensils, the other Dave got a magic paintbrush that could conjure attacks, Reshiram got water powers in addition to her fire ones, Vladimir became a ninja, Estragon used offensive ESP, and N had a headband that let him suplex everything and everyone.
Eventually, the two groups merged, and became an army that crushed any of the strange Pokemon in their path.
That is, until they encountered a hammer-wielding Empoleon.
"I'm gonna clobbah that there Kirby!" said the Empoleon.
"Who the **** is Kirby?" said the other Dave.
"More importantly," said Dave,"'why is the ****ing Empoleon speaking English?"
Before anyone could question him further the Empoleon swung his hammer and hit Dave's Mia, sending her flying.
"Hey!" said Dave. He retaliated by throwing a frying pan at the Empoleon's head, followed by an ESP blast from Estragon and a ninja sword strike from Vladimir. The Empoleon retaliated with a ground pound approximating an Earthquake, wracking the entire party, but not stopping Reshiram from unleashing a steam blast and the other Dave from striking with a cyclone of paint. The Empoleon responded by charging a massive strike with his hammer, but before he could pull it off he heard a voice from behind him.
"Sorry about this!"
And the Empoleon was then thoroughly suplexed into the earth by N.
Upon the Empoleon's defeat, another portal opened.
~Should we even go through?~ said Reshiram.
"Do we even have a choice?" said Dave.
After several begrudging murmurs of assent they went through.
---------------
The group emerged in a grassy field on the back of a titanic beast. Various strange Pokemon roamed around, many of them much more massive than normal.
Upon inspecting each other, the group now noticed that they had been somehow grouped into pairs by shimmering waves of light - Dave with Mia, other Dave with other Mia, N with Reshiram, and Vladmir with Estragon. In addition Dave, other Dave, N, and Vladmir all had strange swords themed around their partners.
Estragon chittered. "He says this is super-freaky," said N.
~At least I see a town over there,~ said Reshiram.
Everyone marched to the town, looking around but noticing strange looks back. Eventually, however, they found themselves surrounded by men in strange uniforms.
"Halt!" one said. "You are unregistered Drivers with unregistered Blades! Surrender yourselves now in the name of the Empire!"
"Who, what, and what the ****?" said Dave.
The Mias immediately lunged at the men while Reshiram breathed a jet of flame and Estragon Drain Punched any that came close. The rest made do with their new weapons to cut though anybody in their path.
The men still seemed determined, but a bomb suddenly launched itself above them and detonated, scaring them off. Soon after a Wigglytuff beckoned the group to head into a nearby alleyway.
"In here!" he said.
The group quickly followed and huddled together around the Wigglytuff.
"Imperial guards get more aggressive lately!" he said. "Good thing Tora come to rescue!"
"Great, this one speaks English too," muttered Dave under his breath.
"Er, Tora, was it?" said N. "Do you know how to get us home?"
"Home?" Tora said. "You are very strange Drivers and Blades... maybe from other Titan?"
"More like another universe," said the other Dave.
"Other universe?" said Tora. "That easy-peasy! What kind universe?"
"Lots of humans, but lots of Pokemon too," said Mia.
"Not as fancy as yours and the Pokemon stay in balls," said the other Mia.
"Hmm, Tora can't get you there, but can get you there that can get you there!"
He pulled out a strange device, gave it a few cranks, and pressed a button to generate a portal.
"Ta-da! Tora make out of spare parts and ill-gotten change."
N smiled. "Thanks, Tora."
And with that the group dived in again.
---------------
The next world was one of spires and crystals, where people of inhuman shapes and sizes walked together with their Pokemon. Dave reached out and tapped a tall pointy-eared girl with a Togepi on the shoulder.
"Excuse me, miss... You wouldn't happen to know where you could find any so-called dimensional experts?"
"Oh? I wouldn't know anyone of that persuasion specifically..." she said. "But Cid might know!"
She pointed to a large docked airship. "I last saw him over there."
Vladmir beeped his thanks, and he and the others headed in. Once inside they found a white-haired, bearded man and his Torkoal working at a forge.
"Excuse me, sir," said N. "Do you know anything about dimensional travel?"
"Me?" said Cid. "Well, I'm mainly working on something else right now..."
He gestured to a massive mirror-like structure nearby. "But that Magitek device over there should help. Just don't break it, it could reset reali-"
Thunk.
Mia withdrew her blades from the mirror. "Thought I saw something crawling on it."
In an instant, everything unraveled. Pictures became words, words became nothingness, memories became dreams. All reset back to normal, with only the memories of everyone but Daves and Mias to testify anything had happened at all - and they'd rather pretend it didn't happen.
--------------------
A certain Zygarde paused, sat back from the computer they had hijacked, admired their work, and pressed "Send" multiple times on multiple websites. They were new to the whole fanfiction thing but they quite liked what they had done here.
Having shifted to human form they put their feet up on their desk and grinned.
"Ain't I a stinker?"
***
Happy (late as of this posting of the fic) April Fools. : )