Dawn of the journey

[Hiro xd]

Well hello to you all again! This is my third or is it fourth comic? Well my other ones weren't very good. Well beco ask me when I'd be making a new comic and at the same time he gave me the idea. This comic is made by me and Beco. So he doesnt do all the work. I guess I should make a poll later saying do you want to keep the comic or not well here goes nothing:

This is the story of before TJP this may answer alot of questions like who is beco's mom, or how it all started, all that stuff well enjoy!

Intro
Episode 1
Episode 2
Episode 3
Episode 4
Episode 5
Episode 6
Episode 7
Episode 8
Episode 9
Episode 10
Episode 11
Episode 12
Episode 13

Credits:
Beco for making this comic work, making the images of the comic
Beco for alot of spirits
The spirit resource
The VGA maps
Thaanks to avatar for many Charsets


I need loads of charecters for this to work so if you didnt get a chace in tjp get one here.

Thanks beco and the fans!

 

[Beco]

Why's my name so big in that post?

Tell us if you like this comic or not. We both worked hard on this one.
We will update this comic with 2 episodes a week.

 

[The Noise]

I don't like it. It's pretty much TPJ but with Kyle. Kyle's pretty much Beco and Beco's pretty much jimmy. Not to great.

 

[Beco]

The first intro part is actually made to resemble TPJ. The rest will be different.
Thanks for replying

 

[PK]

Great comic. Man I got to hand it to you Hiro XD your VERY good at making comics. I like it. I wonder what pokemon kyles going to get.

 

[Hydroswirl]

I like the story so far, I'm excited to see what happens next....BUT I do not like how you use the WHOLE map and the small characters, and then you don't even use textboxes. You have so much space, but you don't even use it. It really bothers me, but I'll keep reading hoping for a change.

 

[P-Man]

He's gonna get a charmander, obviously. Same as Beco and since Kyle has a charmeleon in TJP... Work it out d00d.

Yes, I would like to see speech bubbles instead of speech boxes. Speech boxes annoy me a bit but then again, so do bubbles.

 

[Beco]

Both thanks for replying
The maps will get smaller. And textbubbles, maybe if Hiro xd can make them, because I am not good with them...

 

[Hiro xd]

I'll try! Yup hes going to get charmander but thats not the point!

Thank you but I got alot of help from beco!

 

[Beco]

Do you still have that intro you made, with the "every...has a... "thing in it.?

Update will be every Wednesday and sunday (if Hiro xd's ok with that)

 

[Eric]

Why is he talking to himself in the 2nd intro? That's creepy and few people talk aloud to themselves like that, revealing the plot (Which is very cliched).
Use textboxes, not text and the bottom.

 

[Beco]

That where his thoughts actually
We might use textbubbles for this in the futur.

 

[tanhony]

cool! now i know how kyle got good

 

[Beco]

It was all Hiro xd's idea. Credits go to him...

 

[blueguy]

Alright... I can honestly say that I don't think this is very good for a number of reasons, which I shall list:

1) It's the exact same format at TPJ
2) The title looks off (I suggest a "prettier" font)
3) So far it appears to be nearly exactly the same of what TPJ I have read
4) No credit is given to Avatar for the birdkeeper (unless I'm mistaken)
5) Flannery is her first name... not her last, and it's 'Mrs.'
6) Lots of spelling and grammatical errors
7) Your 'Night' doesn't look like 'Night'... I don't know what it looks like

I think that if you're going to start a new comic, why not have a new concept, a new place (perhaps Hoenn) for it to take place in, and generally some new things altogether?

This is not a 'flame' by the way, and I'm not trying to start a fight. I'm trying to help you improve.

 

[tanhony]

great comic cant wait to see more

 

[Beco]

1) I don't really see why that's a problem...
2) I shall try to make a better title...
3) I made the first part of the intro to resemble TPJ, just the last pic is different.
4) Hiro xd must have forgotten that. Thanks for mentioning, now we can restore that.
5) Could not think up a last name at that moment and I just wanted to show that Kyle, Jimmy and Beco's mother is Flannery. The Mrs. thing, my spelling's just bad
6) I will try to avoid more of those.
7) It will improve, I've found a better way to make night...
the intro is made 2 moths ago...
Why a flamewar? You just gave us tips, thanks

Edit: I used a few of your tips to improve the intro (now one part). Here it is.
Intro

 

[blueguy]

1) I don't really see why that's a problem...
2) I shall try to make a better title...
3) I made the first part of the intro to resemble TPJ, just the last pic is different.
4) Hiro xd must have forgotten that. Thanks for mentioning, now we can restore that.
5) Could not think up a last name at that moment and I just wanted to show that Kyle, Jimmy and Beco's mother is Flannery. The Mrs. thing, my spelling's just bad
6) I will try to avoid more of those.
7) It will improve, I've found a better way to make night...
the intro is made 2 moths ago...
Why a flamewar? You just gave us tips, thanks

Edit: I used a few of your tips to improve the intro (now one part). Here it is.
Intro

Don't delete your post and repost it. That's what I call unnecessary bumping.

Anyways... you can't see or read anything in the intro.

 

[Beco]

I repaired it. You can read it now.

 

[Hiro xd]

Great job beco I shall replace it.

Blueguy has some great ideas... Its the new location thats it! I just got a idea to make the comic much diffrent from tjp!