DB Continued doujinshi

[Bejiita]

Hi, I'm new here, well, I actually used to be a member back in the day, when I was a Poke fan, anyway, I figure since it's the Fan art section I can post this here, I saw a Megaman one and thought it'd be ok to post this too.

It's a Dragonball Z fan manga, it's takes place when DBZ finished, before GT happened...so far I'm on chapter 2...slowly progressing.

I hope there are Z fans here, a lot of people I know like the two, so I thought fans of Pokemon like DBZ!

Anyway, unlike manga, this reads from the left of the page, just so this doesn't confuse people.

Feel free to give suggestions on how it can improve. And if it takes long to load, check out these 2 sites I already have it on.

http://www.dbzdimension.com/fanart.php

http://dragonballarena.gamesurf.it/english/fanmanga.php

 

[~Ch3Et@H~]

i love it, you draw so well!

 

[Risk Alchemist]

I agree

 

[Pokefan26]

Deoxys Lover, it's not necessary to post so much smiles.

You draw very well, good job.

 

[Magical Trevor]

WOW. you draw so well. and you don't see many Dragon ball Z comics around. You must of put heaps of effort into it and it would've taken you days. Keep uo the good work

 

[Infinity]

Nicely done, rarely we see comics here of this quality, one thing I must caution you about though is the dialogue. It seems a bit lackluster at times and improving the dialogue will help you a lot and draw in more readers.

I also advise you to use computer text to type your dialouges in, it makes it easier to read and a bit more professional.

 

[Cookiecooks]

Wow! This is excellent. You did the DB style very well =3 And you did manga effects nicely too!
My suggestion for you is to try varying the comic panels a bit. It's a little plain in my opinion ^^;
I don't see too many anatomical errors (lots of minors, but it doesn't matter to me.) Sometimes you tend to make the relaxed figure a bit stiff though. =3
Overall, I like this a lot ^^ Great job on it! =3<3

 

[Risk Alchemist]

Deoxys Lover, it's not necessary to post so much smiles.

You draw very well, good job.

And was it necessary to tell me that? You could of used a PM.

 

[Clockworkz]

It's good. THe plot seems... interesting. Fromwhat I can tell though, I don't know if it's your own art, or just copied scenes taken from the manga/screen shots of the series, so I can't really judge you too well. If it is your own art, it's good. There are numerous anatomical abnormalities, but they could probably be fixed relatively easily. If they were copied, you need to work on copying art a bit more accurately, as there are spots where it's blatently obvious and amaturistic, but other spots that are done excellently (even though I condemn the practice totally). Also, put in your text digitally, so we don't have to strain to read some of the word balloons. I'd like to see where it goes, though.

 

[Bejiita]

Thanks to all who like it, it seems you all want to see more, so I'll keep in mind the consideration of what people think of it.

Cookiecooks, you make good points on what needs fixing, I'll try to vary boxes a bit more, it is all quite plain, I need more experience.

Infinity, you are quite right, a couple of people have said this, I think I will make it computer text after finishing chapter 2...which is one more page...

...and Clockworkz, I have used some pictures from the real manga for only a few poses, if you'd want to know some...let's see...there's the Uub shooting the Kamehameha on top of page 3, I used a Goku pose and redone it as Uub. A SSJ3 Goku from page 4, the one with both arms facing in front, then...a Goku on the top of page 8, the one using instant transmission. I ain't gonna go through the lot, you should be able to easily see which ones are copied, all off chapter 2 is my own art anway.

As for it being amateuristic, I haven't previously done a manga or comimc, this is my first one, so there's bound to be things you'll notice that aren't up to scratch or seem wierd.

 

[Poliwhirl]

Thats great i read the whole thing good job!!!

i also like dbz thats why i read it

 

[Bejiita]

Thanks for reading the lot, much appreciated.

Good to see other DBZ fans here too.

 

[Poliwhirl]

no problem and how often is this updated?

 

[Bejiita]

Well, when I draw new pages. I will probably begin chapter 3 soon. just keep checking.

I'm also changing all the text to PC text, I've updated several pages, they'll be done soon.

Later.

 

[an_idiot_]

WOW, this is really good, ill definetely be checking this page often!

 

[Electrode]

Ahhh cool comic man its awsome you draw just like the real animaters do its so cool to read

 

[Bejiita]

Thanks!

an idiot: Be sure to check now and again, because I will definately be updating sooner or later.

Electrode: It's nice you like both the art and story, some people think the storyline is a bit dull too, so thanks again.

Yea, as I say, it'll be updated soon.

 

[Electrode]

Thanks!

an idiot: Be sure to check now and again, because I will definately be updating sooner or later.

Electrode: It's nice you like both the art and story, some people think the storyline is a bit dull too, so thanks again.

Yea, as I say, it'll be updated soon.

not only do i like the story but the games rock its to bad that you cant draw the game storys have heard of jenemba or bojack if you have maybe thats what you could use if your planning on making a movie

 

[Bejiita]

not only do i like the story but the games rock its to bad that you cant draw the game storys have heard of jenemba or bojack if you have maybe thats what you could use if your planning on making a movie

Have you not already seen a DBZ movie with Bojack or Janemba? That's too bad, I have seen those movies and they are wicked!

I won't be putting them in my manga due to them both being vapourised in the movies, but there will be a new enemy, well make that new enemies, I'm planning to go far with this!

I too enjoy playing the DBZ PS2 games, Budokai 3 and Tenkaichi Budokai are the best ones.

 

[Tenten]

Oh wow! I really like this comic. You really capture Akira Toriyama's characters' personalities really well, and the art is so similar, I almost thought this comic belonged to the original creator himself! (But then, I pretty much know how to acknowledge your art with his) Keep up the great work! I'll be checking up on your updates from time to time. I suggest keeping each comic as a link, it takes up most of the loading time for this page. (Awww, I was hoping there would be Pan in here, she rocks! xD)