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Dbz & Naruto Destiny: The Cousin Of Sasuke Uchia

Max......Max......Max......Max.....Max....Max!!

A name that has always been in the Uchia clan. But who is he? he has more than his own techniques and Sasuke's techniques. But Goku's too? Who is he you might wonder? He is the legendary ninja saiyan. The only kind of his race. But he has a legendary dragon power locked away inside of him. Deeply inside of him! Who am I? Just call me Devan! I'll be telling you stuff like this during most of the beginnings of chapters. I'll tell you the Prolouge now!!

PROLOUGE

Once apon a time! There was a boy named Max. He was the cousin of Sasuke Uchia. Who had also been bitten and cursed with the curse mark! But different than Sasuke's bite! His was made by a dragon that almost killed the nine tales fox! Before the ninetales fox threatend and scared many vilages. But the dragon pulled back just to bite this one bot! And now, his cousin Sasuke has been nitten too! Why? Because it is Their destinies. Max was raised by saiyans! The saiyans name was Goku! Max was named son of GOku before Gohan was born. But he is only 13! Thats because his age went back! He is a kid just like...Excuse me. A teenager just like Sasuke Uchia. Itachi Uchia who is the brother of Sasuke and cousin of Max. Killed all of the Uchia clans. Only three live today!!

Itachi for some reason decided not to kill Sasuke and Max Uchia. For a reason that no one was able to discover. Kakashi has fought him. Max's and Sasuke's power has been growing. They both have different but equal demons....that are determined not just to kill Itachi Uchia, or the bearer of the ninetales fox Naruto, but also any saiyans or other ninja's that oppose them. But they'll have to be careful, because....You never know when a mysterious teen named Gaara! Would want blood from you!
 

Yami Ryu

Well-Known Member
... So what he's Sasuke's son? Itachi's? AND Sayjin? And he has a demon dragon? Or dragon- but not only do you make the most mary sue character- or well one of the worst mary sue characters ever, you smash together two radically different fandoms, and create the most insane and rip off plot ever.

Don't. Continue. Seriously. It already stinks worse than three day old rotten fish and bad eggs.
 

Draconis

Currently active.
And yet another lackluster, sorry excuse for a fic, by none other than ash ketchum Devan ketchum. Seriously, do you put any thought into what you type, or do just pull some kinda of frankenstein fic out of thin air? This fic just screams mary-sue.
 

The Doctor

Absolute Beginner
I am not trying to be rude here, but you suffer from an EXTREME Gary-Stu/Mary-Sue complex; can't you make a character, just one, who's flawed, imperfect, even sucks eggs at battling! Kinda like what Draconis said beforehand; think before you type.

From what I read to start off with, he sounds like the b*stard lovechild of Goku and Sasuke/Itachi/Whatever. I thought he was from the Uchiha clan. The Saiyans are a different race so you basically get a crossbreed between an alien and a ninja.

Advice for Aspiring Authors is your key to success. Take it.

Edit: And Yami Ryu's a girl. So Mr. Meany would be unjustified. Tough but fair, matey.
 
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