Destiny Journeys: Healing of Farts

[Neko Godot]

I decided to write a farce. It starts out slow, but I have a bevy of stupid plot twists, stupid character motivations, and stupid Pokémon battles planned out for your enjoyment.

Destiny Journeys: Healing of Farts ​

Harry was nervous. Sweaty. Exhausted. Here he was, finally, at the Pokémon League. Eight gym leaders. The Elite Four. He defeated all of them. Only the champion remained. Again, Harry was nervous, but it was only natural. All the eyes of the Gorfallow region were on him.

Some Pokémon League staff members were attending to Harry. One was attaching a microphone to his shirt, while another was brushing all of his clothes, making sure he looked presentable. Harry really wished that the big battle wouldn’t be broadcasted on TV. He didn’t like having to do stuff in front of other people. It’s why he enjoyed going to the bathroom so much: complete privacy.

The champion, William, walked in. He took one look at Harry’s sweaty, greasy black hair and laughed, “Dear Arceus, your head looks like a mop!” William ran his fingers through his fair blonde hair to draw attention to the fact that his hair was better than Harry’s. Then, he stared into Harry’s big brown eyes with his steely blue eyes, just to reestablish how great he was. Finally, William walked over to Harry, making it clear that the tall, lean William towered over the short, stout Harry. William just wanted to drive home the point of his superiority.

“Can we just get this over with?” asked Harry, wiping his brow right afterward.

“Nonsense!” scoffed William. “You’re a Pokémon trainer, just like me! Don’t you have a love of the sport? Aren’t you looking forward to this?”

“But the cameras… the crowd…” stammered Harry.

“Don’t worry!” laughed William. “I’ve been through tons of these! You won’t even notice them!”

“Yes I will…” said Harry, but William was already out the door, leaving Harry alone to his thoughts, which were mostly along the lines of “I’m really nervous!”

And then it was time. The two Pokémon League staff members escorted Harry out of his dressing room and along a long, white hallway. The emptiness of the room gave Harry nothing to focus on except for his own nervousness. He didn’t want to mess up. He couldn’t mess up. Too much was at stake. The conversation he had at the diner the other day had made that clear. There was no room for failure.

Now he was escorted into the arena. Harry couldn’t get a good look at it. All the lights were blinding him. Were his friends here? Was his family here? Harry couldn’t make out anyone in the crowd, as he could hardly see them. As Harry stood on his side of the battlefield, nervous as always, William seemed to be eating the atmosphere up; waving at people, blowing kisses, mugging for the cameras.

A man in a slick black suit and bow tie walked onto the arena. “Good evening everyone, and welcome to the most anticipated match of the Gorfallow Region this year so far! Our champion, William, has finally gotten so competition from this trainer named Harry! Harry, how are you feeling right now?”

Harry was shocked. He was hoping he wouldn’t be put on the spot, but here he was, being put on the spot. “I… well, you see… I’m a Pokémon trainer, and I… er… did a good job training… and I think I can batt-”

BRRRRMPH!

“What the heck was that?!” gasped the announcer. Harry knew exactly what the heck that was, though he wish he didn’t. After all, no one wants to fart when they’re on TV.

Chapter 1: Off to a Great Fart​

“Cindy, get downstairs! Your brother is on the TV!”

“I have a TV up in my room, you know.”

“Well turn it on!”

Cindy sighed. Her mother was always bugging her to watch her brother on the TV whenever he had a big battle. Cindy had gotten so used to it that she didn’t care much anymore. She picked up the remote and turned the TV on, but the battle had already ended. Her brother, William, had successfully defended his title as champion. “It’s over, mom!” Cindy shouted downstairs.

“You should have tuned in earlier!” Cindy’s mom huffed and puffed as she made her way to the entrance of Cindy’s room. “The poor bloke he was battling farted!” Cindy took a look at her mom. Time was not kind to her: she had gray hair, crow’s feet, and was losing the battle against menopause. Cindy didn’t have much interest in what her mom had to say, though, as she got back to the magazine she was reading before she turned the TV on. Cindy’s mom was becoming frustrated with her. “Cindy, come down and have dinner. We need to talk.”

“What is it?” asked Cindy apathetically.

“Meatloaf and mashed potatoes, but that’s not important right now. Get downstairs and we’ll talk.” As Cindy’s mom shuffled hurriedly down the stairs, Cindy got up and took a look in the mirror. She remembered the last time her mom had wanted to talk to her so urgently: it was seven years ago, when she had turned ten and was about to start her Pokémon journey. Her long blonde hair had only been shoulder length then, but the blue eyes she shared with her brother were the same. Cindy had been so enthusiastic, so ready to go out and see the world back then.

Cindy went downstairs and sat at the dinner table with her mom. “Seven years ago, I wished you luck before you were about to leave, but now I’m kicking you out,” her mom said.

Cindy dropped her fork. “What?!”

“You have to go out and start a journey sometime. When you returned home, you only had two badges from Kanto!”

“And I said I’d start back up again soon!” whined Cindy.

“Seven years is not soon! You got to go out there and make a name for yourself!”

“I don’t want to. Pokémon isn’t my thing,” said Cindy.

“Well, that’s too bad. You better find something to do by tomorrow, because it’ll be your last day in this house!” Cindy’s mom finished her mashed potatoes and got up from the table. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go wash the dishes.” With that, Cindy’s mom collected the dishes, Cindy’s meatloaf and mashed potatoes still warm and uneaten, and made her leave to the laundromat.

Cindy whipped her cell phone out and called her best friend, Garfield. “Garfield, you won’t believe it!” she shouted into the phone. “My mom is kicking me out of the house!”

DING DONG! The doorbell rang, and Cindy flew up and answered it. Standing there was Garfield himself, who quickly came in and made himself immediately comfortable on the living room couch. “I rushed over as soon as I heard!” exclaimed Garfield, whose brown hair was in a perpetually messy state. “I can’t believe your mom would do that to you!”

“Well, she is. Can I stay at your place for a while?” asked Cindy.

“I wish you could, but after that one time we got caught, I doubt my parents would let me have you stay the night,” explained Garfield, who was of course referring to the incident when Garfield’s parents caught him and Cindy in bed together… watching Glee.

“I can’t just go out on my own! Kanto was terrible!” whined Cindy.

“What if you just keep it local?” asked Garfield.

“I could never do that!” replied Cindy. “My brother is the champion. I could never beat him. It would make the journey a gigantic waste.”

“What if you just went over to your sister Claire’s house?”

“Oh, you know I can’t do that,” answered Cindy. “She’s… changed.”

“Well, I’m out of options,” said Garfield, who was now at the refrigerator, looking for food. “Hey do you know where your mom keeps the eggs?”

“I don’t know. Don’t we have more pressing matters to worry about anyway?” complained Cindy.

“That’s right. We still have no clue where your mom keeps the cheese.”

“You need to look in that drawer there,” Cindy told Garfield.

“Aha!” Garfield snatched up the cheese. “This will be great for an egg and cheese sandwich!”

“But anyway, let’s say I did go on a journey? How would I even do any good? I haven’t used my Pokémon in a battle in years! I can’t bother training them all again! And I don’t want to start over either!”

“Cindy, Cindy, Cindy…” Garfield shook his head. “This is a horrible pan. You really should tell your mom to buy a new one.” Garfield had found eggs and now was at the stove, where he was attempting to cook the eggs.

“Garfield, help me out here!” complained Cindy.

“Okay, just take some deep breathes.” Garfield waited as Cindy closed her eyes and took a moment to breathe. “Good. Now ask yourself this: how long do you think I’ll need to cook the eggs?”

“Enough with the eggs! If you aren’t going to help, get out!” Cindy pushed Garfield out the door and out of sight. Cindy hurried over to the stove and took the eggs, which had already started to cook, off. Garfield had offered her suggestions, and they were all reasonable suggestions, but Cindy wanted no part of them. She just didn’t want to be a Pokémon trainer at all. What else could she do? Cindy just decided to go to sleep and hope that something would pop up in her head by the end of the next day.

As the next day began, William woke up at his suite in the Gorfallow Pokémon League Headquarters. It had been quite the night, filled with celebratory champagne, but now it was time to get to work. He got up and started to comb his hair when a Pokémon League staff member ran into the room. “Sir, I have terrible news!” cried the staffer. He handed a newspaper over to William. William read the headline and was appalled: Corruption in the Pokémon League! William and Harry’s images were both plastered on the front page. He threw the paper onto the floor.

“Who did this?!” William shouted, making the staffer jump.

“We… we don’t know yet!” cried the staffer. “You were allegedly bribing Harry to lose in the battle so you could keep your title!”

“The only reason Harry lost was because he was a terrible Pokémon trainer!” shouted William. “The only people I’ve ever paid who did a bad job of something were prostitutes! Bribery?! This is outrageous!” William stormed out of the suite, leaving the staffer alone in the room.

“I’m going to take the rest of the day off,” the staffer said to himself.

Not so long after that, Cindy woke up to shouting at her house. “Don’t believe any of it! I have no idea where these accusations are coming from!” Was that… her brother?! Cindy wondered why William would be here as she meandered down the stairs, still sleepy.

“What’s going on?” yawned Cindy, looking at her mother and brother.

“Treachery! Don’t believe anything you hear!” cried William. He didn’t look like his regular self. Unlike how cool and collected he was just the previous night, now he was sweaty and losing it, much like Harry was the previous night.

“The Pokémon League has been accused of corruption,” Cindy’s mom told her. “William doesn’t know what to do with himself.”

“You were just the person I wanted to see, though!” William looked right at Cindy. “I need to get out of this mess, and the only way to show I’m not corrupt is to…”

“Actually lose a battle as champion?” pondered Cindy.

William laughed, “Oh no, nothing that drastic! You see, the press has been kind of suspicious about how I defeat every opponent with ease for a while now. Mainly that’s because everyone else sucks, but if I had a worthy opponent, someone that shares the same legacy as me, well, they’d at least give me an interesting fight. I’d still win, of course, but the point is, it would redeem me in the eyes of the media.”

“Can’t you get Claire to do it?” asked Cindy.

William shook his head. “She’s changed.”

Cindy’s mom decided to pipe in. “Cindy, this is a great chance for you to go on a journey and get out of the house. Mostly for you to get out of the house.”

“You mom is right you know,” said Garfield, who had let himself in. “Thanks for not throwing my egg and cheese out, by the way. Do you have any bread?”

“Garfield can go with you too!” said William. “Didn’t you manage to battle the champion in Hoenn? He can be like your personal Pokémon trainer trainer or something!”

“That’s true. I’ll definitely do it for Cindy! It’d be great to go on a journey together!” Garfield decided to forgo bread and started stuffing the egg and cheese into his mouth.

“Great! It’s been decided! You’ll help me out!” William hugged his sister. “Thank you so much!”

“I haven’t decided anything yet!” complained Cindy, but Garfield was already patting her on the back, congratulating her on making the right choice, while Cindy’s mom had started going through all her telephone contacts to tell everyone the news that Cindy decided to go back on a Pokémon journey. “I didn’t decide!” cried out Cindy, but no one cared.

Soon after, William left to return to the Pokémon League to do damage control with the media. Garfield left after eating his egg and cheese, and Cindy’s mom left to gather some supplies to throw a going away party for her daughter. Cindy didn’t know what to do. She was thrust into a situation beyond her control, and now she had ended up where she had least expected: about to begin a journey. And as she thought about this journey that was about to begin, someone else was about to begin a journey of his own…

Pitch black. Cold. That’s all he knew. That’s all he ever knew. For as far back as he could think, he couldn’t remember anything other than the darkness and the frigid temperature. Except for when he peed himself; then it was warm.

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! It was… what was that? It couldn’t have been a noise. He hadn’t heard a noise in ages… BANG! Light! Suddenly, light swept into the room! But he was not used to it. His eyes became squinted. He could see someone walking into the room. He was bald, with sunglasses covering his eyes, but he was sharply dressed in a navy blue sports coat and ascot. He couldn’t even comment on the man’s ridiculous appearance, as he hadn’t seen another person in years.

“Who… are you?” the boy asked.

The man in the ascot looked at the boy for a moment. “You were dead,” he said. “Now you’re alive.” He threw a Pokéball to the boy.

“I… I haven’t seen one of these… in a long time,” the boy said, nearly drifting away as he ended the sentence.

“It’s a very special Pokémon,” the man in the ascot told him. “It can talk. You must use it now. Arceus made the choice to give you a second chance. You have to accomplish what you desired most… to become the Pokémon League champion.”

The man in the ascot was about to walk away, about to disappear from this boy’s life as suddenly as he appeared, when the boy asked him one last question, “What… what Pokémon… is it?”

The man in the ascot didn’t face the boy to answer him, and as he left, the boy lingered on his answer: “It’s a Zubat. A... shiny Zubat.”

Chapter 2 Preview: It’s the big day: Cindy is leaving home to start her journey! But can she decide what outfit to wear? Meanwhile, Cindy’s mom clips coupons, but is one coupon too good to be true? William learns that since the scandal broke, an insignificantly smaller amount of women now want to sleep with him! How will he live with himself? Finally, someone makes fun of the man in the ascot for wearing an ascot! Will he cry? Find out the answers to all of these questions in Chapter 2: The Continuation of Chapter 1!

 

[Neko Godot]

Lots of profanity in this one. You have been warned...

It was a rainy morning in Symphalle Village. The sun was not shining, the flying type Pokémon were not singing, and there were many clouds in the sky. It was not the ideal day to start a journey, but Cindy had to start her journey today anyway. If she waited any longer, her mom was going to start charging her rent.

Cindy was prepared. She had her money. She had her backpack, filled with basic supplies needed to camp out in the wilderness, though she was hoping to get to the Pokémon Center in Arben Town by the end of the day. Once there, she could challenge the first gym leader of the Garfellow region: Rupert. She had her Pokéballs, though her Pokémon had not been in a battle for quite some time. As she walked down the stairs, Garfield greeted her. “I’m so excited! Aren’t you excited!” he asked as he jumped up and down in place.

“Not really. I’m more excited for this journey to be over already,” replied Cindy.

“Don’t hurry back,” said Cindy’s mom, who was still cleaning up after the farewell party they had held the night before. Cindy’s mom had been hiding something from her child: she wanted Cindy out of the house so that she could start attending singles mixers and bring men back to the house without feeling middle aged woman shame. “Your brother needs all the help he can get!”

“Is Claire going to help out?” asked Garfield.

“Oh, you know her… she’s changed,” said Cindy’s mom.

“I’m ready to leave. Garfield, are you ready to leave?” asked Cindy, becoming impatient.

“I’ve been ready to leave since you brought up leaving in that sentence!” cheered Garfield. “Let’s roll!”

Cindy kissed her mom goodbye. “Remember, never talk to strangers on the road,” Cindy reminded her. “They may just be salesmen in disguise!”

With that, Cindy and Garfield marched outside, both of them opening their umbrellas, though Garfield had some difficulty with his. “Arben Town is north of us!” said Garfield. “Let’s go!” With that, he began to walk straight ahead, though Cindy stood still. Garfield noticed this, and turned around. “What’s wrong, Cindy?”

“Are you sure that’s north?”

“Uh…” Garfield didn’t have a clue.

Chapter 2: Do Pokémon Dream of Mareep?​

Somewhere in the Garfellow countryside, a young woman was looking out the window of her mansion, drinking a glass of whiskey. The last couple of days had been very stressful for her, and she knew that only more stress lied ahead in her future. It was good to be able to have a few moments to relax.

Her phone rang. She ignored it. The call went to the answering machine, and the caller left a message. “Hey, it’s me. I’m not sure if you’ve seen the news, but you should have since it’s been on basically EVERYTHING, but I’ve gotten into a spot of trouble. I’m working on solving it myself, but your help is always appreciated, if you so choose as to help me, that is. I hope to hear from you soon, and I really wish you actually answered your calls. Bye.” The voice was unmistakable: William. But the woman decided not to reply to the champion, at least, not right away. She was still trying to relax.

William was anything but relaxed, though. Pokémon League Headquarters was in a panic over the news. Not only was William’s job on the line, the entire league was being questioned over the incident, and the Central Pokémon League was going to send a team of auditors to evaluate the entire Garfellow League. William was currently in a meeting with Judy, a member of the Elite Four.

“Have we tracked down Harry yet?” asked William.

“Not yet,” answered Judy. In addition to her position on the Elite Four, Judy was also historian of the Pokémon League, which required her to keep records of all champions and challengers.

“Dammit!” William pounded his fist on the table they were sitting at. “I swear to Arceus, if Harry had anything to do with these accusations, I’ll have his head on this table!”

“We’ve been keeping watch over his house since we received word of the accusations,” Judy said, pushing her glasses up above her grey eyes in order to avoid focusing on William for the moment. “However, no one has been home. Apparently, he went somewhere else after his defeat.”

“Where can he be? And why would he be hiding from us?!”

Judy grabbed two patches of her short black hair and began banging her head on the table. “He must have been involved somehow! That’s the only reason he would be running away! But I just don’t have a clue as to where he can be! You know this is hurting me as much as this is hurting you!”

William had gotten up and moved over to Judy, where he lifted her head from the table. “Stop that,” he said as he looked into their eyes, and then they kissed.

“Not now,” whispered Judy. “Wouldn’t it be… inappropriate?”

“I don’t care! Let’s just do it right here!” William moved Judy up onto the table and began to unzip his pants when he heard shouting coming from right outside the conference room. Judy quickly moved back into her chair while William zipped his pants up again.

“I told you, the champion has enough on his mind! He has no time for this!” shouted one of the voices.

“It’s a very important message from the reverend!” shouted the other.

The door to the conference room swung open. Standing there were two people: Garret, one of the Garfellow Elite Four, and another man, dressed in a white cloak with gold lining. “Sir, I apologize for this!” said Garret, standing up straight and regaining the composure he had lost in the argument with the other man. “This man refused to leave when I turned him away!”

“I just have a message on behalf of the Holy Church of Arceus,” said the man. William recognized the color of the robes. There was no mistaking it for the uniform most workers of the Holy Church of Arceus wore.

“Garret, he came all this way to deliver a message. I may as well hear what the reverend wants with me.” William nodded to Garret, and Garret left, closing the door behind him.

“First off, Reverend Saunders congratulates you on the recent victory,” the messenger said.

“Tell the reverend he doesn’t have to bother with those niceties,” scoffed William.

“Next, and much more serious, Reverend Saunders is very disappointed to tell you that the Holy Church of Arceus will no longer be able to support your reign as Garfellow Pokémon League champion.”

“What?!” cried out Judy.

William placed his arm out in front of Judy. “Stay calm. What is the meaning of Reverend Saunders doing this?” inquired William.

“Reverend Saunders believes it reflects poorly upon the Holy Church of Arceus to support a phony champion.”

“Phony champion?! Those accusations are false! Shouldn’t the reverend give me a chance?! Aren’t I innocent until proven guilty?! Hell, the Central Pokémon League hasn’t even had the chance to audit me yet!”

“I’m sorry.” The messenger cleared his throat. “Finally, one last message: Reverend Saunders wishes you the best.”

“My ass he does!” sneered William. The messenger bowed and exited the conference room. “Show him the way out!” William shouted to Garret, who was still standing outside the room.

“It’s… er… that way.” Garret pointed to his left. The messenger followed the finger, and Garret entered the conference room and closed the door. “What was that all about?” asked Garret.

“Reverend Saunders is withdrawing his support of me as champion,” said William.

“That bastard! How could he? You gave in to all of his ridiculous requests, and yet now of all times, he abandons you?!” Judy backed away from Garret in fear of being hit, as his thick arms were flailing around everywhere in anger.

“We can’t worry about the past. We need to focus on the present,” warned William. “The public’s view of us is already tarnished due to the scandal. With Reverend Saunders making some kind of power play now, the league’s name is going to be sullied even more. Everything needs to be perfect for the auditors coming in, or else we’ll have strike three on our hands.”

“You know, three strikes is a good thing in bowling,” reminded Garret, who began stroking his brown moustache, the only hair he had on his head. “You know, maybe I could persuade the reverend to change his mind…”

“Absolutely not!” ordered William. “Reverend Saunders already knows about your mob ties, and I’m sure he’s told a few of his followers as well! He even wanted me to fire you over it, but that was his only request I ever denied.”

“How did he know about my past?!” questioned Garret.

“You know he must have some sort of spies working for him,” said William. “I wouldn’t put it past him if he was watching the entire Pokémon League, waiting for one slip up from any of us…”

“You don’t think he had anything to do with this?” asked Judy, who now seemed more worried than before.

“No, I don’t think he would start something like this,” answered William. “He’s much more likely to just make a bad situation worse.”

“I’m going to get back to the Harry effort then,” said Garret. “I can’t wait to find that little punk so I can beat him up, just like the good old days!” Garret punched his fist into his other hand, and then exited the conference room, slamming the door behind him and causing the doorknob to fall off.

“Oh, don’t worry, I’ll fix that!” William shouted sarcastically.

“William, what do we do?” asked Judy.

“About what?”

“About us!” cried Judy. “You said it yourself! The church is probably spying on us, which means they know about our relationship! And if the church knows about that, how hard will it be for the auditors to find out?!” Judy sunk onto the table and began to cry.

“There there.” William patted Judy on the back. “No one knows about us for now, and as long as we remain careful about it, as we always have, no one will find out.”

“But… but what if they did?! Having a relationship with a superior… that… that would get us both… both…”

“Fired,” William solemnly finished the sentence. “I know. Let’s get back to working now. It’ll take your mind off of all this.”

Judy lifted her head back up off the table. “Oh… Okay…”

Meanwhile, Cindy had begun her quest to redeem her brother, not before stopping back into the house and picking up a compass. Now that they were sure they were going north, Cindy and Garfield were making their way to Arben Town. Of course, the two had begun bickering on the trail, though what they were arguing about did not have the same weight to it as anything William was discussing did.

“I’m telling you, Lethal Weapon 4 is the best one!” whined Garfield. “Jet Li was the coolest bad guy! Mel Gibson had to drown him!”

“I don’t think so!” scoffed Cindy. “In Lethal Weapon 2, Danny Glover got to revoke diplomatic immunity!” Their highly intellectual discussion was cut short, however, by the appearance of a bridge. The lush forest ended, and a river began, and the only way to cross was by bridge. The bridge looked safe enough, and was not swaying in the bad weather, but Cindy and Garfield noticed a figure standing on the other end of the bridge, not moving, which was problematic, given how narrow the bridge was.

“I wonder what kind of idiot would just stand at the end of a bridge like that?” wondered Garfield.

“I don’t know, but we have to cross it,” said Cindy. “We’ll just have to tell the jerk to move when we reach him.”

“You’re right,” nodded Garfield, and the two began crossing the bridge, with Cindy in the front. As they got closer to the end, they were able to see the features of the person blocking them. He was a sullen looking boy, who couldn’t be much older than Cindy or Garfield. His face was gaunt and pale, his black hair long past his shoulders and disheveled, and his eyes hardly noticeable, as they were stuck in a squint.

“Okay, time to move it,” ordered Cindy as they finally reached the boy.

“Hello,” the boy spoke in a soft voice.

“Hello to you too. Now can you move?” Cindy ordered again.

“Are you a Pokémon trainer?” the boy asked in his soft voice.

“Yes. I’ve got places to go and Pokémon to train. Now move it!” Cindy was now shouting.

“I would like to battle,” said the boy.

“Ugh! I don’t have time for this! Just move!”

“Wait a minute, maybe a battle wouldn’t be such a bad idea,” suggested Garfield. “After all, you’re pretty rusty when it comes to Pokémon battling, Cindy. You can’t just march into the Arben Gym and demand a battle. You’d lose like that.”

“Fine, if you think it’s a good idea, I’ll battle!” Cindy gave up.

“You’ll battle? That’s delightful,” the boy stated unenthusiastically. He walked off of the bridge and started to lead Cindy and Garfield to the place they would battle. “You know, I was waiting there all day for someone to battle. You were the first people to come along.”

“It’s raining. Not many people are out and about,” noted Garfield. “Why don’t you have an umbrella with you?”

“It’s been so long since I felt the rain,” said the boy. “I just want to feel something.”

“Well that’s… weird,” said a freaked out Cindy.

The boy finally led Cindy and Garfield to a clearing. “You go on that side. I’ll take this side.” The boy directed Cindy to the left. “You can referee,” he said, pointing to Garfield. Everyone was in position.

“By the way, what’s your name?” Garfield, who was now standing off to the side, asked the boy.

“Name? I… can’t remember it.”

“Garfield, this kid is scaring me…” said Cindy.

“Don’t worry about it,” reassured Garfield. “Just have a battle with him, and we’ll part ways.”

“Okay then. How many Pokémon are we going to battle with, kid?” asked Cindy.

“Pokémon? I only have one,” said the boy.

“Well, I have three, but I guess I’ll only use one myself, in that case,” stated Cindy, taking out one of her Pokéballs from her bag. The boy removed his sole Pokéball from his belt. “And what kind of Pokémon is that, that you want to battle with someone so badly?”

“This? It’s shiny. And can talk,” said the boy.

“Where could he have gotten something like that?” pondered Garfield. “Oh well. We will have a one on one battle between Cindy and… whatever your name is! No name, as the challenger, you release your Pokémon first!”

“Okay then. Zubat, go!” The boy threw his Pokéball, which released the ugly, eyeless bat. Unlike most Zubat, this one was colored green.

“That’s it?” laughed Garfield. “Your special talking shiny Pokémon is a Zubat? That’s a riot!”

“Hey, I ain’t no ordinary fucking Zubat!” Cindy and Garfield jumped, as the Zubat was now talking directly to them in an extremely gruff voice. “I’m a fucking talking Zubat! And shiny too! How many fucking Zubat do you know that are shiny?! I bet none, you assholes!”

“I wasn’t expecting it to be so… vulgar,” said Cindy.

“You’d be vulgar too if you were stuck in a fucking ball all day!” swore Zubat.

“Anyway, I guess it’s my turn. Let’s go, Mareep!” Cindy threw out the fluffy yellow sheep Pokémon, who gave a yawn upon release. As Mareep had not been used in battle for quite some time, it had become lethargic, and it plopped right onto the ground.

“Ah shit, that’s an electric type!” observed Zubat. “That Mareep can fry me to a fucking crisp! What the hell are you going to do, Kyo?”

“Who’s Kyo?” asked Cindy.

“That’s what I call my trainer because he doesn’t know his fucking name!” grumbled Zubat. “I got the name from some anime I watched. It was the fucking worst thing I ever saw in my life! That’s why I only watch American cartoons!”

“I would use the bite,” ordered Kyo, though the way he said it made it sound more like a polite suggestion.

“Bite? You got it, Kyo!” Zubat then began to gnash its teeth together.

“No, Zubat. Use the bite on Mareep,” corrected Kyo.

“Haha, you know I just like fucking with you!” chortled Zubat. “I hope I taught you a lesson on the importance of being specific, though!” Zubat then swooped in on Mareep and chomped right into it.

“Mareep!” cried Mareep, who was enjoying a nap until Zubat had bit it.

“Mareep, don’t take that from him! Shock him off!” ordered Cindy. Mareep’s fur began to stand on its end, when all of a sudden an electric shock discharged from the fur and hit Zubat.

“Shit! That fucking hurts!” cried out Zubat, who fell to the ground. “Kyo, I can’t get too close to that thing, or I’ll be fucking bacon by the end of this battle!”

“Mareep, tackle!” Cindy wasn’t going to let Kyo get another move in. Mareep got up and pushed Zubat, though it only sent it rolling along about two feet before it stopped.

“Ugh, now I’m fucking dizzy!” swore Zubat.

“Why don’t you make Mareep feel the same way, then?” hinted Kyo.

“Fine, fine, I’ll use supersonic. But what the hell did I just tell you about being specific?!” Zubat flapped its wings at Mareep and gave out a cry. The cry hit Mareep’s ears, and a dazed expression fell on Mareep’s face.

“Dammit, I can’t switch out!” noted Cindy. “I’ll just have to take a chance. Mareep, shock Zubat again!” Mareep’s hairs stood on end once again, but this time the shock they produced fell right back onto Mareep.

“How does that feel?! Taste of your own fucking medicine, am I right?” taunted Zubat.

“I’m about to disqualify you for unsportsmanlike conduct!” shouted Garfield from the sidelines.

“Calm down, buddy!” said Zubat. “I’m only getting into the battle! You would do the same if you were a Pokémon!”

“If I was a Pokémon I would kick your ass!” Garfield tossed back at Zubat, but Zubat was already contemplating another move.

“Kyo, what the hell should I do now?” asked Zubat.

“Use the bite on Mareep,” said Kyo. Once again, Zubat swooped in on Mareep and took a bite right into its fur, but this time, an electric shock passed through Zubat, causing it to drop to the ground.

“What the hell just happened? I can’t fucking move!” swore a very disgruntled Zubat.

“Yes! That’s my Mareep’s static ability!” Cindy cheered. “Biting into Mareep paralyzed you, you filthy Pokémon! Consider it karmic justice!”

“One Pokémon confused and another paralyzed. I suppose we’ve reached a stalemate, then. Should we just consider this a draw?” asked Kyo.

“Mareep can still attack if it wants to,” Garfield butted in. “Of course, due to its confusion, the attack may backfire. It could also work and knock out Zubat. It all comes down to a roll of the dice on Cindy’s part, though.”

“I don’t have any dice with me,” said a confused Cindy. “I’m not one to give up, though. Mareep, shock Zubat into oblivion!”

“Don’t you fucking dare!” swore Zubat.

“Why couldn’t you paralyze its mouth?” joked Garfield as Mareep began once again to charge electricity. Unfortunately, the shock backfired on Mareep. This time, it was too much for it, and Mareep collapsed, fainted.

“Mareep… is unable to battle,” announced a disappointed Garfield. “No name is the winner!”

“Fuck yeah! We won, Kyo! Now get me out of this fucking rain!” Zubat ordered his trainer. Kyo complied and put Zubat back into its Pokéball.

“Heh, that was almost too easy,” laughed Kyo, whose voice was becoming less soft and more strong and cocky. “You really didn’t have a chance.”

“She did have a chance!” shouted Garfield. “She took that chance, and although she failed, she did better than you, who just wanted to end it in a tie!”

“A trainer that knows his limits is better than one that doesn’t,” noted Kyo. “That’s why I won.”

Cindy returned Mareep to its Pokéball and looked down, her hair becoming soaked in the rain. “Just… who are you?” questioned Cindy. “What the hell are you doing with a talking Pokémon?”

“I guess you can call me Kyo if you want,” he said, disinterested. “I was given this Zubat as a gift. A gift that I shall use to become the champion of Garfellow.”

“Garfellow champion?!” Garfield was shocked. “Cindy, it looks like you have your first rival!”

“Rival? I don’t think so,” sneered Kyo, who was slowly becoming cockier. “There is no one who can rival me. My decree to become champion was mandated by Arceus. With Arceus on my side, no one can stand in my way.”

“Arceus? So you’re a zealot, too?” questioned Garfield.

“DO NOT BELITTLE MY MISSION!” Kyo had become furious at the mention of the word zealot. “ARCEUS HAS ORDERED ME TO BECOME CHAMPION! I WILL NOT FAIL HIM!” Kyo lifted his arms up to the sky, and a truly manic look fell upon his face.

“Cindy, let’s get out of here!” said Garfield, scared by Kyo.

“How did I lose?” questioned Cindy, who was still crestfallen after her loss. “How could I lose to someone like him? The boy is insane!”

“I don’t know, but we have to leave!” Garfield hooked arms with Cindy and took her back onto the path, leaving Kyo behind, still looking up into the sky, where he believed his boss dwelled.

Harry, on the other hand, had not seen the sky for quite some time. His orders were to go into hiding in this warehouse right after he lost to William, and he had obeyed those orders well. Harry did not enjoy staying in the grungy warehouse. The rain had given the wood building a funny smell, and he was pretty sure fungus was growing between the boards. All the strange, broken down machines around him gave him the belief that he would be murdered here.

Suddenly, the warehouse doors opened, and in walked the man in the ascot. “About time you’re here!” complained Harry. “I feel like I’ve been waiting here forever! Life is no fun when you spend it alone!”

“Did you come right here after you lost the battle? Did you talk to anyone?” interrogated the man in the ascot.

“Sheesh, way to get right to the point,” whined Harry. “Don’t worry, though. I did just as you said. After I lost, I came here.”

“Good.” The man in the ascot looked around the warehouse, as if he was checking to see if anyone else was inside.

“Where’s my money?” demanded Harry. The man in the ascot tossed over a brown bag. “This is the other half?”

“That is the other half,” answered the man in the ascot.

“What should I do with this? Maybe buy a yacht?” But as Harry was dreaming, the man in the ascot suddenly pulled a gun out on him. “What is this all about?!” cried Harry, who dropped the bag of money and raised his hands up.

“Are you cheating on your wife?!” shouted the man in the ascot.

“No! Of course not! I would never!” whimpered Harry.

The man in the ascot drew closer. “Tell the truth!” he shouted. “Are you cheating on your wife?!”

“No way! Why would you even say that?” Harry was beginning to cry.

The man in the ascot pointed the gun at Harry’s leg and pulled the trigger. “Stop lying!” he demanded, as Harry fell to the ground, screaming in pain.

“I’M NOT LYING! I’M NOT! I’m… not…” cried out Harry, who was becoming woozy.

“Good.” The man in the ascot holstered his weapon. “If you refuse to admit to a secret as stupid as that, I can trust that you won’t tell anyone about our arrangement.” The man in the ascot took a look at Harry’s leg wound. “I don’t want you explaining that to a doctor. Come with me; I’ll fix you up.” The man in the ascot lifted Harry up and let him use him as a crutch as they both went out of the warehouse and out of sight.

Chapter 3 Preview: Cindy was crushed by her first loss and develops a drinking problem! But will Garfield’s bank account be able support Cindy’s new aptitude for liquor? William and Judy’s affair takes a turn for the crazy when Garret finds out about it and wants to join in on the love! Kyo goes shopping for a muzzle for Zubat to finally make it shut up! And a disgruntled Harry has to wash his jeans by hand due to the suspicious bloodstain now on them thanks to the man in the ascot! Events so gripping, you won’t believe all of it will fit in one chapter! So look forward to Chapter 3: Perish Singing in the Rain!

 

[Neko Godot]

I simply have to keep reading for one reason.

HOW HAS CLAIRE CHANGED???

It's driving me insane!

I can tell you one thing about Claire... she's changed. :O

Anyway... the opening was great, and so was everything else. When I read your work Neko, my mind just fills up with insanity to the point where I can't seem to recall anything when I come to responding. Happened all the time with The Gym where I would say retarded things when I tried to review.

No more reviewing for more, just blind praise! GOGOGO!

Just look at the sentence I had intended to be the last above, this is what this does to me! AGGHHH!!

Oh moonlightning, you card! You're always welcome to review; it's a nice indicator that people are reading other than a raising view count. I also suspect I'm going to need more feedback on this; I'm already concerned about Mr. Talking Zubat and fearful of running him into the ground, but hopefully I'll be able to tread carefully with him.

 

[Legend of Lucario]

Tehehe I just read this and so far, so great!

Anytime I see the lines "She's changed..." I just LOL, because I feel like I've seen that somewhere, and small bit of humor just crack me up.

By the way, I enjoy the shiny talking Zubat and I enjoy the random bits of humor thrown in such as the argument over Lethal Weapon.

Sorry I'm unhelpful and have nothing humorous to say in this post to make it stand out, so I'll leave you with a cookie.

*gives cookie

 

[Neko Godot]

This chapter went over the character limit for a post. I apologize.

Harry was hungry. He was always hungry before a big event. He was hungry before prom, he was hungry before his wedding, and now that tomorrow was the day he would be battling the Barmellow Pokémon League champion, he was hungry. Luckily there was a diner located near the Pokémon League Headquarters. The diner was dingy, with old fashioned neon signage, paint peeling on the walls, and rusty seats and stools. Harry picked a stool by the counter. His hamburger half finished, he was picking at his fries when the most unusual man pulled up the stool next to him. The man was bald, wearing an ascot, and, most offensively, had sunglasses on indoors.

The man in the ascot turned to Harry. “What would you recommend I order?” he asked.

“I don’t know. This is the first time I’ve been here. The hamburger has been pretty good so far, I guess.” Harry just wanted to finish his meal in peace.

“You know, I’ve been watching you for quite a bit,” said the man in the ascot. “Waiter, can I have a hamburger please, and a glass of water, too!” he snapped at a waiter walking by.

“Lots of people have been watching me,” said Harry, wishing this peculiar man would stop talking to him. “That’s what happens when you’re about to fight the champion of the Pokémon League.”

“I know that!” laughed the man in the ascot. “I’m not like lots of people, though. I’ve been paying special attention to you. I guess that’s what happens when you’re being paid to do it, though.”

Harry was now intrigued. “What do you mean, paid to do it?”

“I got your full attention now, don’t I?” the man in the ascot chuckled. “You see, to put it loosely, I’m a private investigator, though I also perform odd jobs of varying legality for my clients. One of my employers took a special interest in you. Once you beat the sixth Barmellow gym, my employer wanted me to keep tabs on you.”

Harry’s expression changed from quizzical to fearful. “You’ve been stalking me this whole time?!”

“When you put it that way, you make me sound like a creep,” the man in the ascot expressed disappointment. “I like to call what I do tailing.”

“Stalking, tailing, whatever! I don’t like it either way! And what a crappy job you’re doing, too! Why come out and say hi to someone you’re tailing? I may as well report you to the police and get a restraining order against you!” said Harry in a sharp whisper, trying to avoid drawing attention to the situation at hand.

“I don’t like it when people imply I do shoddy work,” said the man in the ascot, “and don’t kid about the restraining order. You wouldn’t do that.”

“Give me a good reason not to!” tempted Harry.

“The only reason I approached you is because my employer wanted to make you an offer.” The man in the ascot lifted up a brown paper bag. It was so inconspicuous, Harry had not even noticed the man in the ascot had it with him.

“What’s in there?” asked Harry.

“One hundred million,” stated the man in the ascot. “Cash. And there’s another hundred million with your name on it, too, as long as you do what my employer wants you to do.”

“And what’s that?” Harry demanded to know.

“Throw the match,” bluntly stated the man in the ascot.

Harry laughed. “You’ve got to be joking! Why would I even do that? I’ve come so far!” The man in the ascot did not immediately answer, as his food had arrived. He took a big bite out of his hamburger, and then took a sip of water to wash it down.

“You’d do it because there’s two hundred million in it for you,” said the man in the ascot. “More importantly, that burger was pretty damn dry. Waiter, can I get some ketchup?”

As the waiter brought over ketchup, Harry considered the offer. “Why would they even want me to throw the match? Do they just want to bet against me? Make a ton of money off of my misfortune?”

The man in the ascot shook the ketchup bottle, accidentally getting some ketchup on his hands before swiftly moving the bottle over the burger. When he was done, he closed the bottle, took Harry’s napkin, and wiped his hands. “My employer isn’t interested in gambling. It should be obvious my employer has enough money anyway, from the very generous offer. No, my employer is interested in bigger things, things that are of no concern to you and are none of my business.” As he said it, the man appeared curious. Even though it was none of his business, the man in the ascot still liked to wonder what was clients’ intentions were.

As the man in the ascot ripped in to his hamburger, Harry sat and watched. Would it be worth it to lose? Should he leave behind the potential fame and take the money? His wife would probably prefer the money. And if he did win the championship, it would mean he would only get attacked by the paparazzi. And paparazzo was the singular form of paparazzi. He read that in a book once.

“I’ll do it,” said Harry.

The man in the ascot stuffed down the rest of his food before replying. “That’s excellent.” He handed the paper bag to Harry. “In addition to the cash, there are instructions on what to do after you lose. Follow them to a T. Do that, and you’ll get the other half.” The man in the ascot paid his bill and got up from his stool. “And Harry, one more thing.”

“What is it?”

“Good luck tomorrow.” With that, the man in the ascot left the diner, leaving behind a bewildered Harry.

“Good luck? But I’m just going to lose on purpose!” muttered Harry to himself, trying to make sense of the man’s last words.

Outside, the man in the ascot had pulled out a cell phone from his pocket and was currently on a call. “The job was done. He accepted the payment.”

“Good. And what’s the status on my dry cleaning?”

“It’s on its way,” replied the man in the ascot, who then proceeded to shut the cell phone close and head out.

Chapter 3: According to Gym​

“Arber Town, a town of wonder! Founded one hundred years ago by a group of colonists, this breathtaking town is nestled in a cozy forest in the Barmellow region. The people here are used to the finer things in life. The town’s water system is based upon the gorgeous spring a short walk away. All homes are heated using the finest Arber Forest logs. Many of the townspeople are gardeners, and the Arber Flower, which grows exclusively in Arber Town, gives the town its exquisite smell. In the summer days, townsfolk love to swim in the lake, which is natur-”

“We get it! People love nature here! Can you just tell us where the gym is?” Garfield was getting impatient. He and Cindy had arrived in Arber Town, and the first thing they wanted to find was the gym. Garfield had sighted a townsperson and asked him for help, but instead, the man was more interested in rambling on about Arben Town’s background. Luckily, it had stopped raining, so the delay was not causing Cindy and Garfield to become even more drenched.

“The gym, like all the buildings in Arben Town, is made from Arben Forest lumber, which is the finest lu-”

“Enough about Arben Town!” shouted Garfield.

“I’m just trying to be of service to you,” said the man. “The gym is on the outskirts of the village, by Arben forest, but I’m afraid the gym leader is out right now.”

“Out? Why?” asked Cindy, who was hoping for a gym battle today.

“All the gym leaders are out. The champion, William, is holding a press conference tonight about those accusations that came out about him yesterday. All the Barmellow gym leaders are heading to the press conference to support him.”

“I guess you aren’t getting that badge today. Sorry, Cindy.” Garfield patted Cindy on the back.

“We may as well go to the Pokémon Center and watch my brother’s press conference. I have to heal Mareep, anyway.”

“You’re the champion’s sister?” Cindy seemed to have piqued the man’s interest.

“Well, one of them,” answered Cindy.

“That’s rather interesting. I imagine this must be hard for you. I guess you’ll eventually get used to the shift in power, though.”

“Shift in power? What do you mean?” Now Garfield was interested.

“Well, William obviously isn’t going to stay champion for long,” said the man. “Even if the accusations are false, the entire Pokémon League has been damaged by them. I wouldn’t be surprised if the league undergoes a complete overhaul.”

“My brother didn’t do anything!” yelled Cindy. “He better not be removed, because then this whole journey will be for nothing!”

“Oh, are you trying to settle a sibling rivalry by defeating him as champion?” asked the man.

“It’s nothing like that,” said Cindy. “I just have to battle him and put up a good fight in order to redeem him to the public.”

“Now that is the kind of stuff that can get you removed as champion. Having his sister lose to him on purpose. Ridiculous!” The man shook his head, and having his fill of conversation with Cindy and Garfield, walked away.

Cindy and Garfield eventually found the Pokémon Center. The two were going to spend the night there, but after Cindy healed Mareep, they settled in the lobby, along with many other people, to wait for William to give his address on the TV.

“What do you think William’s going to talk about?” asked Garfield.

“I don’t know. I just hope he doesn’t say enough that stupid,” said a worried Cindy.

Suddenly, the image on the TV cut from a nighttime variety show to William, standing behind a podium. The Pokémon Center lobby became hushed. All eyes were now on the champion. “Good evening, citizens of Barmellow,” he began. “It is unfortunate that I must address you under these circumstances, but address you I must. I’m sure you all know by now about the accusations that have been filed against me. As much as some muckrakers out there would like you to believe that I paid off a challenger in order to secure my position as champion, they are wrong!

“I’m sure many of you watched me two nights ago, as I battled against a man named Harry. After his loss, Harry promptly disappeared, and we at the Pokémon League did not give it any thought, until the accusations appeared the next day, and Harry was nowhere to be found. At this time, we have yet to find Harry, but are still searching. If you are watching this, Harry, it would be much to your benefit to come out of hiding, as guilty men do not hide.

“There’s also the matter of the Holy Church of Arceus. As you may know, the church announced today that they withdraw all support of me as Barmellow champion. I would like to assure the general public that this means nothing. Although I may no longer be in favor with Reverend Saunders, I still have the right to be champion, a right that I won when I defeated the previous champion, and a right that I will keep, as I always have, by defeating all challengers. I will not let an extremist sway my path.

“Finally, I would like to end on a joke.”

Cindy turned to Garfield. “Why does he always have to do this? His speech was going so well, too!”

William continued, “A Grimer visits his doctor and tells that doctor that although he has reached level thirty-eight, he has yet to evolve. After doing an examination, the doctor tells the Grimer that due to Everstone residue that he absorbed, he will never evolve. The Grimer tells the doctor, ‘Go Muk yourself!’ That is all. Citizens of Barmellow, have a pleasant evening!” William turned from the podium and left.

“Smut,” scoffed an old man, quickly turning his TV off after William had finished his speech. “How dare he defy me like that, in front of the entire Barmellow region!” The old man sat in a room lit only by chandelier, but by day, was lit naturally from the sunlight coming in from the stained glass window behind where he sat, depicting Arceus’s creation of the world. The old man sat on a velvet chair, at a desk made entirely out of marble. Although the room may have been awe-inspiring, it was nothing compared to the old man. His long, gray hair, falling past his shoulders, was streaked with bits of blonde, many of his teeth had fallen out, being replaced by extravagant gold substitutes, and his left leg was gone, replaced by a prosthetic leg made of platinum. Age may have caught up to Reverend Saunders, but luckily age had not caught up to his wallet.

A man dressed in the signature robes of the Holy Church of Arceus entered the room. “Reverend, shall we take further action against William? It seems our withdrawal of support only provoked him.”

“No!” boomed Saunders. “The mighty will fall, and when they do, I will get my chance to say, ‘Oh, how the mighty have fallen!’ For now, we stick to the plan. I will begin my campaign for a new champion as soon as I get a sign from Arceus.”

“Who exactly do you have in mind to be the new champion?”

“I made my choice. I made it ages ago,” said Saunders. “I’ve been waiting for William to slip up all those years, and now that he finally has, I can bring Barmellow a new champion, a champion that will only answer to Arceus and me.”

“Wouldn’t the champion answer to his name, too?”

Saunders sighed, “Yes, that too.”

After watching the speech, Cindy and Garfield had gone to their room in the Arben Town Pokémon Center and went to bed, or at least Cindy had went to bed. Garfield was still awake, staring at Cindy in her fluffy pajamas, and as he watched her, he began to think…

Cindy is so pretty. I wonder if she’d make out with me.

Don’t be ridiculous! She’s your friend!

But she looks really attractive now.

You’ve known her since childhood!

Yup, I would totally hit that. I should just wake her up and ask her right now.

That’s a terrible idea! You’d ruin your friendship and make this whole journey tense!

Not my problem! You deal with it!

You’re just a manifestation of my dark side that appears in my thoughts! We’ll both have to deal with it!

They’ve taken our precious and we must get it back. My precious…

Why must you always devolve into Lord of the Rings references when I’m trying to think?

Fine! I won’t ask her! Sooner or later my feelings are going to bubble up, though.

They’re my feelings, too!

And with that, Garfield went to sleep, his dreams filled with his newly found lust for Cindy, though it was mostly the fluffy pajamas that did him in. He is a sucker for cute fluffy pajamas on women.

The next morning, Garfield woke Cindy up. “Get up, get up, get up!” he shouted. “Today you’re going for the Arben City Gym badge, and I’m not letting you go in there unprepared! We’ve got some training to do!”

Cindy groaned. “Can’t it wait until later? I’m still so tired!” She rolled over in her bed, her face deep in her pillow.

“Nope! I want to get a move on so that we can get out of town by the afternoon!”

“I guess that makes sense.” Cindy rose, yawned, and stretched her arms out before finally getting out of bed.

After Cindy finally got ready, she and Garfield walked outside to the modest dirt battlefield in the back of the Pokémon Center. Garfield took out a Pokéball. “What Pokémon do you think you’ll be using for the gym battle? Rupert is a fighting type specialist, you know.”

Cindy fumbled through her bag, looking for a Pokéball. “Uh… I guess I’ll use this one. I don’t think I have any Pokémon that resist fighting type attacks.” Cindy tossed the Pokéball up in the air, releasing Bellossom, a short little green Pokémon with two red flowers in her hair and a skirt made of dark green and bright yellow leaves.

“You had a Bellossom?” gasped Garfield. “I didn’t know you raised a Pokémon to such an advanced stage of evolution!”

“All I had to do to evolve her from Gloom was use a Sun Stone. Right, Bellossom?”

Bellossom just seemed happy to be out of its Pokéball. “Bellossom!” she cheered.

“Well, here goes nothing! Go, Primeape!” Garfield tossed his own Pokéball in the air, releasing his Pokémon.

“Sure is an ugly thing,” commented Cindy. “What is it even supposed to be?”

“Well, it’s not quite a pig, yet it’s not quite a monkey, so to answer your question… I have no idea.” Garfield seemed embarrassed that he couldn’t explain what Primeape was, but Primeape just became furious, as his fur began to stand on end and he started to stamp around.

“Do you have that thing under control?” asked a nervous Cindy.

“I think so…” said Garfield, but at that moment Primeape decided to start charging at Bellossom.

“Bellossom!” cried Bellossom as she began to run away from Primeape.

“Bellossom, use… some attack,” ordered Cindy, who didn’t seem very confident in Bellossom’s ability to fend off the attacker. Bellossom gathered her composure, and suddenly leaves appeared and started flying at Primeape. However, Primeape quickly punched all of the leaves down, finally reaching Bellossom and giving it an uppercut right to the face, sending the poor Pokémon flying up into the air.

“Oh dear, I’m so sorry!” Garfield apologized. “I really shouldn’t have made that comment about Primeape. He’s easily offended. And can you blame him, considering all the things his species has been through?”

As Bellossom landed, Primeape seemed to be set off by the phrase “his species”. Now, Primeape grabbed Bellossom, jumped into the air, and threw Bellossom into the ground. Primeape landed on his target’s back, causing Bellossom to scream in pain.

“Bellossom, fight it off! You can take him!” Cindy tried offering words of encouragement to Bellossom, but she seemed hopeless. Primeape was even taunting her now, doing a little jig on her back.

“I just wanted to help Cindy train, Primeape! Please stop!” Garfield was begging at this point, but his cries fell on deaf ears. Primeape had no interest in stopping its rampage.

Cindy sighed. “I guess I’ll have to take care of things myself. Get off my Bellossom, you big ugly brute!” This really pissed off Primeape, as now the Pokémon jumped back up in the air, preparing to land a kick on Bellossom. Cindy was prepared. “Bellossom, turn over and use Bullet Seed at point blank range!”

Bellossom complied. She quickly turned around, and just as Primeape was about to kick her, started spitting seeds at an amazingly fast pace right into Primeape’s face. “Bel-bel-bel-bel,” went Bellossom, sounding like a Gatling gun as the seeds continued to pummel Primeape, sending him higher and higher into the air.

“Bellossom, stop and get out of the way!” ordered Cindy. Bellossom stopped spitting seeds and jumped back up on her feet, moving out of the way as gravity had its way with Primeape, bringing him right back down to the ground with a loud crash.

“Primeape!” he cried. Ashamed of his humiliation at the hands of such a girly Pokémon, Primeape ran over towards Garfield and hid behind him.

“C’mon, Primeape! You can’t hide just because you got hit by one attack! You didn’t even faint or anything! It’s not like you can consider this a loss!” Garfield tried reasoning with Primeape, but it was no use. The Pokémon would not leave his spot behind Garfield. “Fine, fine,” sighed Garfield, and he lifted his Pokéball, returning Primeape to his container.

“So is training over?” asked Cindy, returning Bellossom to her Pokéball.

“I guess. I wasn’t expecting Primeape to get so angry like that!” Garfield was really embarrassed over the whole incident.

“I guess it can’t be avoided. Oh well, at least I know my Bellossom still has some fighting prowess in her. The first gym shouldn’t be that hard, right?” Cindy asked.

“Right!” answered Garfield. “You should go heal up your Bellossom, and after that, we can start heading over to the gym!” Garfield ran ahead, with Cindy following him, shaking her head.

William’s morning also got off to an interesting start. Just as he was finished getting dressed in his suite, he heard a knock on the door. “Who is it?” he asked.

Judy walked in. “Don’t worry! It’s just me!” She entered and smiled at William. “I liked that joke you made in your speech last night.”

“Don’t give me too much credit. I’m pretty sure I heard it on a TV show before. I hope no one notices.” William sat down on his bed and gestured to Judy to sit down, too.

“You know, we have some time before we have to get to work,” said Judy.

“Okay, I’ll have sex with you!” said William, wanting to cut back on the foreplay. He pushed Judy’s back onto the bed and was just about to get ready to go until they heard…

“Footsteps!” cried a shocked Judy.

“Don’t worry. Just keep cool,” William reassured her.

A man barged into William’s suite, wearing nothing but a swimsuit, a towel wrapped around his neck, and a pair of goggles sitting on top of his light brown hair. “William, I have news! Wait… what’s going on here?” he asked.

“Oh, I was just showing Judy this new Tempur-Pedic mattress! I’m pretty sure astronauts sleep on this in space, you know.”

“It’s so comfy!” added Judy.

“But anyway, why did you have to come in here all wet, Simon? You’re getting water all over my floor!” William noticed Simon’s dripping wet swimsuit.

“I’m sorry, but I rushed over straight from morning swim as soon as I heard the news! I didn’t want to waste time drying off! They captured Harry! He’s here right now!” reported Simon.

William jumped up off the bed. “Where do we have him?” he asked.

“He’s in a holding cell right now!” answered Simon. “I’m pretty sure Nicole is with him.”

“Let’s go!” William charged out of suite, Judy and Simon following closely behind. They flew down the various hallways and stairwells of the Pokémon League Headquarters, until finally they arrived at the basement floor, and stood outside a dingy little door. William opened it.

Inside was Harry, looking none too pleased with his accommodations. Standing in the corner was a woman who was doing nothing except smoking a cigarette, the smoke blowing up into her short, red curly hair. William, Judy, and Simon entered.

“So the champion and nearly all of the Elite Four have taken me prisoner for… what, exactly?” taunted Harry. “You can’t hold me here! I have rights, you know!”

“We just have to ask you a few questions,” said William, grabbing a chair and placing it so he could sit face to face with Harry. “Why is the press saying that we paid you off to throw our match?”

“I don’t know! You guys didn’t pay me off!” yelled Harry.

“Then who did?” asked the smoking woman in the corner.

Harry paused for a moment before he answered. “Uh… I’m not sure,” he replied.

“So you were paid off?” asked William.

“Er… yes. I’m not sure who exactly paid me off, though.”

“What do you mean?” asked Simon, who was still dripping wet.

“Whoever wanted me to lose the match… they didn’t show up themselves. They hired an intermediary to give me the money. The guy said that his client wasn’t interested in fixing the match for gambling purposes. I don’t really know what was going on. I just took the money.”

“Who leaked it to the press, then?” asked William, but at that moment, Garret barged in.

“We’ve got the bastard?! Finally! I’ve been waiting this whole time to pound some answers out of him!” shouted Garret.

“Calm down. We aren’t going to torture him!” said Simon. William, who was distracted by Garret’s entrance, turned back to face Harry.

“Well? Do you know who leaked it to the press?”

“I… I don’t,” replied Harry.

“He’s lying!” shouted Garret. “That bastard is lying right there! He’s lying to us! Right to our faces! Let me at him! I’ll pound the truth out of him!”

“He’s telling the truth,” said the woman in the corner. She took her cigarette out of her mouth and pointed it at Garret. “The last thing we need right now is an accusation of torture.”

“Don’t tell me what to do!” Garret stomped on the ground. “Scum like this shouldn’t deserve a fair chance!”

The woman threw her cigarette onto the floor. “Scum like you don’t deserve a fair chance.”

“Please stop fighting!” cried Judy, but her plea was useless. Garret was about to charge straight at the woman until Simon restrained him from behind. The woman sighed and picked her cigarette back up from the floor.

“Let… me… at… her!” Garret struggled to break free of Simon.

“Garret, enough!” shouted William, shocking everyone in the holding cell. “Nicole is right. We have enough on our plate. We don’t need to add torture to the list!”

Garret broke free from Simon. “If you don’t want to solve this problem, I’ll find a way to do it myself!” Garret barged out of the holding cell as loudly as he barged in.

“Should we do something about him?” asked Judy.

“Just let him cool down,” said William. “He’s a changed man. I’m sure after he just thinks about what he’s done for a bit, he’ll realize he’s in the wrong.” William turned back to Harry. “Are you sure you don’t know anything?”

“I’m sure!” cried Harry. “I’ve told you everything I know! Now can I please leave?”

“I suppose. Nicole, can you escort him back home.” Nicole nodded and hooked arms with Harry, taking him out of the room.

“So where does this leave us?” asked Simon.

“I think the fact that Harry was actually paid off by someone means we aren’t just dealing with some shoddy journalism anymore,” said William. “Someone wanted to sully the name of the Barmellow Pokémon League.”

“Isn’t this good, though?” piped in Judy. “Doesn’t Harry’s story prove that the Pokémon League had nothing to do with this?”

“Not exactly. Unless we find out who the man that paid Harry off was working for, we have no proof that says it wasn’t one of us,” said Simon.

“Dammit!” swore William. “We should have asked him what the intermediary looked like!”

“We can always send someone to him for a follow up later,” said Simon. “Any, I’m going to go for another swim, but one last thing before I go…” Simon looked at William, then at Judy.

“What is it?” Judy asked.

“I know none of the beds here have Tempur-Pedic mattresses,” warned Simon. “Be careful, you two. Sure, an accusation of torture would topple the Pokémon League, but I’m positive the public wouldn’t respond well to a relationship between an Elite Four member and champion, either.” His warning finished, Simon left the room.

“He’s right, you know,” said Judy.

“We’ll just have to be careful,” said William. “As long as no one with a vendetta against us catches us in the act, we should be fine.”

“I hope so,” said Judy.

Back in Arben Town, the gym was in Cindy and Garfield’s sights. “There it is!” Garfield shouted, pointing at the gym. “Let’s go!” Garfield began sprinting towards the gym, and as soon as he reached the doors, the swung open, sending him flying back into Cindy. Both of them collapsed onto the ground.

“Look who we have here,” taunted Kyo, the one who had sent Garfield into orbit. “It’s the girl that lost to me and the guy that refereed the match in which that girl lost to me.”

“I have a better nickname than you do!” Garfield pointed out to Cindy.

Cindy looked at Kyo. “You look better. Not as pale.”

“Of course I look better! I’m living life now! I was dead, but now I walk on the Earth once again!”

“Metaphorically speaking, right?” laughed Garfield, but he quickly became nervous as Kyo did not brush his statement off as a joke. “Right?”

“You wouldn’t understand. You don’t understand how it feels to be dead,” sneered Kyo.

“Oh, he was serious!” said Garfield, taken aback.

“So did you challenge the gym leader, Kyo?” inquired Cindy.

“Of course I did. He didn’t stand a chance. I crushed him almost as easily as I crushed you. If I continue on my path like this, I shall soon be the new champion of the Barmellow region!” said a maniacal Kyo.

“You know, I can never tell if this kid is joking,” Garfield told Cindy.

“I have no time for jokes,” said Kyo. “I wasted enough time being dead.”

“Okay, we get it!” Garfield tried calming Kyo down.

“Why don’t we just part ways and go into the gym now?” suggested Cindy, wanting to avoid any more awkwardness between Garfield and Kyo.

“That’s a splendid idea! Goodbye, Kyo!” As Garfield and Cindy walked into the gym, Garfield waved goodbye to him. Kyo just stared back, blankly. “Well, it’s always a pleasure to run into him!” Garfield said to Cindy, now in the gym.

“So this is the Arben Town gym, huh?” Cindy looked around. Like all the other buildings in Arben Town, it was built from wood, except in the middle of this building, a boxing ring stood.

“Hey! I got some more challengers today?” A man walked out from behind the boxing ring, wearing a pair of shorts and boxing gloves. “So which one of you is going to battle with me today?”

“Rupert?” asked Cindy.

“Yup, that’s me!” said the gym leader. “I’m the gym leader around these parts, though I’m embarrassed to say I already lost a battle today.” Rupert started patting his buzz cut with one of his boxing gloves. “It wasn’t my proudest moment.”

“I’m William’s brother, Cindy,” she told Rupert.

“Cindy?! I haven’t seen you in ages!” exclaimed Rupert.

“You two know each other?” questioned Garfield.

“I was friends with her brother way back in the day. We even set out on our Pokémon journey together!” explained Rupert. “Of course, William did much better than me, but still, getting offered a gym leader position isn’t that bad!” Rupert laughed. “So what are you doing going around challenging gyms, Cindy? I thought you weren’t a big fan of battling?”

“I’m not,” said Cindy. “I’m doing this for my brother. Somehow going around and fighting all the gym leader is going to help out my brother with this scandal. More importantly, my mom was going to kick me out of the house, so it’s not like I have anything better to do.”

“Why didn’t William just ask your sister, Claire, to help out?” asked Rupert. “She’s much more into battling than you ever were!”

“She’s changed,” explained Cindy.

“That’s too bad. I remember her from way back then.”

“So how did your last gym battle go?” Garfield changed the topic. “We saw that kid walk out of the gym! He’s really strange!”

“He definitely was an odd one!” said Rupert. “His only Pokémon was this Zubat that wouldn’t stop swearing! He had a mouth of a sailor!”

“Cindy lost to that kid in a battle,” Garfield said matter-of-factly. “Did he mention any odd religious stuff? Anything about resurrection?”

“He wouldn’t stop blabbing on about how Arceus revived him so that he could complete this mission. I was just like, “Whatever! Can we battle already?’ Still, the dude wouldn’t stop talking about it!” Rupert sighed, “I wish I didn’t have to lose to him.”

“Would you be willing to lose to me, too?” asked Cindy. “The sooner I finish this journey, the sooner I get to go home.”

“Of course,” replied Rupert. “So, do you know how my gym works?”

“Uh… we let our Pokémon out and battle each other?” guessed Cindy.

“Oh no! Not here!” Rupert smiled. “You see, I consider myself a boxing buff. I had this boxing ring bought in so that I could emulate boxing matches with Pokémon battles!”

“So we just have our Pokémon battle inside the ring?” Cindy offered up another guess.

“Once again: no,” laughed Rupert. “In real boxing, you don’t have humans throwing fireballs at each other and crazy shit like that! You just have two opponents, testing their strength in a physical contest, exchanging blows with each other.”

“So we just have our Pokémon punch each other?”

“That’s the ticket!” cheered Rupert. “Just like real boxing!”

“This is so exciting! Battle already, you two!” Garfield could no longer hold in his excitement.

“Okay. Ref, get out here!” Garfield called to the referee, who was sitting on a folding chair in the corner. The referee was dressed like a typical boxing referee, in a white shirt, black slacks, and black bow tie. He jumped into the ring.

“You better not lose again,” warned the referee. “Anyway, pick your Pokémon, you two.”

“Let’s go, Hitmonchan!” Rupert tossed a Pokéball, which released a tan colored Pokémon dressed in a lavender jumpsuit. “Hitmon!” cried the Pokémon.

“Okay, let’s give it your all, Bellossom!” Cindy once again released her flowery Pokémon.

The referee pointed to Bellossom. “In this corner, we have the challenger! Weighing in at 12.8 pounds, it’s the Flower Pokémon, Bellossom!” The referee then pointed at Hitmonchan. “And in this corner, we have the defending gym leader! Weighing in at 110.7 pounds, it’s the Punching Pokémon, Hitmonchan!”

“Kick his ass, Bellossom!” Garfield shouted from the sidelines.

“Let’s get ready to ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuumble!” shouted the referee, but just as he was about to ring the bell, he was interrupted by a woman walking into the gym.

 

[Neko Godot]

“This is the Arben Town gym, correct?” she asked testily.

“Can I help you with something?” asked Rupert.

“Are you the gym leader? Rupert?” the woman snapped.

“I am,” he replied sheepishly.

The woman tossed back her long blonde hair and laughed, spreading her arms, which were covered by her fuzzy black jacket, out. “I’m Cynthia, the Sinnoh Champion! I’ve been sent here by the Central Pokémon League! Come on in, the rest of you!” Cynthia shouted outside, and three people entered. “Introduce yourselves!” ordered Cynthia.

One man was dressed in a gray three-piece suit, with a matching fedora covering his black hair. He was holding a clipboard. “Hello, everyone! My name’s Bertrand! It’s a pleasure to meet all of you!”

Another man, much wider than Bertrand, was dressed up in a karate uniform. “The name’s Joe! I’m a black belt! That’s the best belt!” he said, following his introduction by performing a karate chop in the air.

Finally, there was woman. She seemed much more distant than the others, her glasses shining in the light, preventing anyone from seeing her eyes. “Sophie,” she said, only offering her name, as she played around with her blonde hair, which was tied up into two long, twirling pigtails. She seemed disinterested in what was going on.

Cynthia, pleased that her subordinates had all introduced themselves, turned to face Rupert. “Rupert, do you know why I’m here?” she asked.

“To build goodwill between Sinnoh and Barmellow?” guessed Rupert.

“Ha!” laughed Cynthia. “You’re going to wish I was here for that! No, you can blame your champion for my visit here. You see, the Central Pokémon League has appointed me head of a team of auditors,” at this point, Cynthia pointed towards her three subordinates, “to evaluate the Barmellow Pokémon League.”

“You’re auditing the entire league?” gasped Rupert. “Why not just investigate the champion? But that’s beside the point! I’ve known William for ages, and I can assure you that there is no corruption in the Pokémon League!”

“Unfortunately, your assurance means nothing,” scoffed Cynthia. “Corruption at the top means there may be corruption at the bottom, too. We must thoroughly examine the entire league, from the gym leaders to the Elite Four to the champion, in order to scrub it clean of anyone that isn’t up to the Central Pokémon League’s standard.”

“It’s not like I’ve made any suspicious deals or anything,” said Rupert.

“I know,” Cynthia said. “We’ve already taken a good look at your behavior.”

“You’ve been spying on me?!” yelled Rupert.

“Not us, but we know a guy,” answered Cynthia.

“If you’ve already investigated me, get the hell out of my gym then!” Rupert pointed to the door.

Cynthia laughed. “We aren’t leaving just yet. Bertrand, why don’t you explain what you do?”

“Of course!” Bertrand smiled. “I am the Central Pokémon League’s battle expert! I have been appointed to evaluate all of the key trainers that make up the Barmellow Pokémon League! I am making sure that everyone’s battling skills are up to standard!”

“Whatever is going on with William, it had nothing to do with battling incompetence!” yelled Rupert.

“Of course,” said Cynthia, “but the Central Pokémon League decided it would be wise for us to kill two Pidoves with one Geodude.”

“Then what are the other two here for?” questioned Rupert.

“I’ve been working with Sophie for a long time,” explained Cynthia. “She’s a good friend of mine, we work well together, and I always request the Central Pokémon League to put her on my auditing team.” Sophie nodded. “And Joe? Well, if things don’t go well today, he’s going to be your replacement.”

“Hi-yah!” Joe did another karate chop in the air. “I can’t wait!”

“Don’t get ahead of yourself, Joe!” Cynthia laughed. “Isn’t he just too much?!”

“He’s not going to be replacing me because I’m a great gym leader!” sneered Rupert.

“Actually, I’ll be the judge of that!” corrected Bertrand with a smile.

“Shall we get this examination underway?” asked Cynthia. “You! Girl!” She pointed at Cindy.

“Me?!” Cindy was shocked. She, along with Garfield, had become so entranced by the events conspiring that they had forgotten that a gym battles was supposed to be taking place.

“No, the other girl I’m pointing at. Of course you! What’s your name?” snapped Cynthia.

“Cindy,” she replied.

“Okay Cindy, we’re going to be watching your battle with Rupert. Just act normally, okay?”

“Okay,” said Cindy, still stunned over what was happening. Cynthia, Bertrand, Sophie, and Joe all lined up on the side of the ring, next to Garfield.

“Who the hell are you?” Cynthia asked Garfield.

“My name’s Garfield. I’m travelling with Cindy. I’m kind of her mentor,” he answered.

“I guess we’ll see how good of a mentor you really are now, huh?” laughed Cynthia.

Bertrand lifted his fedora up and picked up a pen that was lying in his hair. “I’m prepared to take notes on the battle!” said Bertrand. “I wish you the best of luck! I hope it’s an enjoyable battle for both of you!” Bertrand put his pen close to the paper on his clipboard.

“Where did I leave off?” asked the referee. “Oh! Let’s get ready to ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-”

“Get on with it!” interrupted Cynthia.

“Fine,” said the dismayed referee. He rang the bell. “Round one of twelve: fight!”

“Go get him, Bellossom!” Cindy encouraged her Pokémon from the corner. Hitmonchan was slowly approaching Bellossom, doing some jabs in the air to intimidate her.

“Show no mercy, Hitmonchan!” shouted Rupert.

“No mercy, hm…” Bertrand wrote something down on his clipboard.

Hitmonchan had finally reached Bellossom and began to throw punches at her. Bellossom could do nothing except raise her arms and block them, but Hitmonchan eventually broke through Bellossom’s defenses and hit her in the face. “Bell!” she cried as she was flung into the ropes.

“Hang in there!” cried Cindy. Bellossom got herself together and backed away from Hitmonchan. Hitmonchan approached her and started throwing punches again, but this time Bellossom knew what was coming and quickly raised her fists to block her face when Hitmonchan aimed for it.

The bell rang again. “Round one: complete!” the referee announced. Cindy called Bellossom over to the corner.

“Bellossom, you’ve been doing a great job! Just keep on the defensive. We don’t want to make any attacks until we can find a weak spot on Hitmonchan.” Bellossom nodded in agreement.

“Round two: fight!” yelled the referee as he rang the bell. This time, Hitmonchan wasted no time trying to intimidate Bellossom. He ran right at her and began a flurry of punches, alternating between trying to hit her body and her face. Bellossom quickly raised and lowered her arms to defend herself, up, down, up, down, up, down. Finally, Hitmonchan jumped away, finding himself blocked.

“Go for it, Bellossom!” ordered Cindy. Bellossom ran over towards Hitmonchan and threw a punch at him, however, he blocked it only one of his boxing gloves. “Dammit!” cried out Cindy.

“That’s it, Hitmonchan!” encouraged Rupert. “Now get back at her!” With his free hand, Hitmonchan threw a punch at Bellossom, who was unable to block it with just one fist available. Bellossom was thrown back into the ropes, but was luckily given a quick reprieve, as the referee rang the bell again. “Round two: complete!”

Cindy sighed. “Bellossom, let’s just stay on the defensive. Maybe we can tire him out.”

“Bell!” she replied.

“Round three: fight!” Hitmonchan once again charged at Bellossom, throwing the same types of punches, and once again, Bellossom blocked all of them. Suddenly, Hitmonchan stopped and looked over Bellossom’s shoulder. He gave a nod. Bellossom turned around to see what Hitmonchan was nodding at, and at that moment, Hitmonchan once again punched Bellossom right in the face. This time, Bellossom collapsed onto the floor.

“Ha, the old Bugs Bunny move!” laughed Rupert, as the referee began counting.

“One!”

Bertrand was scribbling something down on his clipboard.

“Two!”

Sophie stood silently, uninvolved in the proceedings.

“Three!”

“C’mon Bellossom! Get up!” shouted Garfield. Bellossom slowly pushed herself up on the floor, and was ready to fight again. However, at that moment…

“Round three: complete!”

“So far he’s landed three punches and Bellossom’s landed none,” noted Cindy. “Bellossom, keep defending yourself! I’ll try and think of something this round!” Bellossom nodded to Cindy.

“Round four: fight!” The scene played out as it had before, with Bellossom blocking all of Hitmonchan’s punches. Hitmonchan couldn’t use his sucker punch trick again, so he had no other options. Garfield, who was becoming bored with the battle, turned to the four auditors next to him.

“Do any of you watch that show The Event?” he asked them. “I’ve been watching it since it premiered, and I still don’t know what the event actually is!” Garfield did not get the response he was hoping for: Bertrand was just writing more notes down, Joe was continuing to perform karate moves on the air, and Cynthia seemed focused on the match. Only Sophie turned to reply to him.

“I don’t watch it,” she said, and then she turned away. Garfield, dismayed, decided to focus on the battle once again. “You can do it, Bellossom!” he cheered.

“Round four: complete!” Rupert threw a water bottle to Hitmonchan, which he quickly guzzled down. Cindy called over to Bellossom. “Okay, I’ve got a plan…” Cindy whispered the rest to Bellossom.

“Round five: fight!” Hitmonchan began to run at Bellossom, but this time, she got up on her toes and started to spin out of the way. Hitmonchan stood dumbfounded as Bellossom now appeared behind him and punched him right on the back.

“Hitmon!” he cried out as he fell, nearly on his knees. Bertrand began to write furiously on his clipboard, and Cynthia let out an audible gasp.

“Get back at her!” shouted Rupert. Hitmonchan turned around and threw another punch, but Bellossom had already started spinning again, and by the time Hitmonchan realized it was too late, Bellossom had punched Hitmonchan in the back once again.

“Hitmonchan!” This time, he fell flat on the ground.

“One!”

“Hitmonchan, get up!” shouted Rupert.

“Two!”

“This is surprising!” said Bertrand as he continued writing furiously on his clipboard.

“Three!”

“I sure wasn’t expecting this!” laughed Cynthia, tossing her hair back again.

“Four!”

“Hi-yah!” cried out Joe, who was still doing karate moves, oblivious to the world around him.

“Five!”

Hitmonchan began to push himself back up…

“Six!”

Hitmonchan was now standing. Bellossom began spinning around to hit Hitmonchan’s back, but this time Hitmonchan knew what to expect and threw a punch at her, their fists colliding in the air. Bellossom was shocked, and Hitmonchan took advantage of that by throwing another punch at her, sending Bellossom into the ropes once again.

“Round five: complete!”

“Damn! We aren’t going to be able to use that move again. Oh well, at least Hitmonchan took quite a hit to his back. Bellossom, just block his attacks again!” Cindy ordered Bellossom.

“Round six: fight!” Hitmonchan ran over to Bellossom, but this time wasn’t as fast as it used to be. He fired punches at Bellossom, but was now more sluggish, and Bellossom was able to block them much more easily. The back damage had done quite a number on Hitmonchan.

“Now!” cried out Cindy. Bellossom started to throw punches at Hitmonchan, putting him on the defensive. Unlike last time, Hitmonchan was too weak to use his other fist to punch Bellossom out of the way.

“Hitmonchan, do something!” cried Rupert, becoming frustrated that Bellossom was now on the offensive. Hitmonchan couldn’t do anything except block Bellossom’s punches, though.

“Round six: complete!” Rupert was in his corner, stomping.

“Keep up the good work, Cindy!” Garfield shouted from the side of the ring. “If you can keep putting the pressure on him, you got this one in the bag!”

“We can win this, Bellossom!” Cindy told her.

“Round seven: fight!” Now Bellossom was charging straight at Hitmonchan. She started punching: up, down, up, down, up, down. Hitmonchan couldn’t keep up, and Bellossom landed a punch right on his stomach.

“Hitmon!” he cried out in pain, but Bellossom wasted no time. She spun around to Hitmonchan’s back and landed a punch, sending Hitmonchan to the ground again.

“One!”

“Unbelievable!” Rupert gasped in awe.

“Two!”

“That has to have done it!” cheered Garfield from the sidelines.

“Three!”

Hitmonchan made an attempt to get up, but just fell back down again.

“Four!”

Sophie adjusted her glasses.

“Five!”

“What’s going on?” asked Joe.

“Six!”

Hitmonchan started another attempt to push himself up.

“Seven!”

“Don’t give up, Hitmonchan! Never give up!” Rupert shouted from the corner!

“Eight!”

Was Hitmonchan going to get up in time?

“Nine!”

“Yes!” cheered Rupert as Hitmonchan got up again. Cynthia, however, was not amused.

“Bertrand, have we seen enough?” she asked him.

Bertrand scribbled one last thing on his clipboard, and then replied, “Yes. After watching this battle, I have decided that Rupert is unfit to be the gym leader.”

“Unfit?!” objected Rupert. “We didn’t even finish the battle yet!”

“My regrets. I apologize that I have to deliver such bad news, especially on the day we first met.” Bertrand bowed his head.

“At least give me a chance!” cried Rupert.

“You don’t get a chance,” scoffed Cynthia. “Anyone with half a brain could have predicted the end of that match. Joe!” Joe quickly turned around, afraid he was about to get busted for slacking off. “Who do you think was going to win that battle?” she quizzed him.

“Uh… the chick?” guessed Joe.

“See? Anyone with half a brain,” said Cynthia.

“Does that mean I win? Can I get a gym badge now?” asked Cindy.

“I don’t get how an invalid gym leader could possibly hand out a gym badge,” sneered Cynthia. “Rupert, this is no longer your gym. Get the hell out of here!” Cynthia pointed to the door.

Rupert withdrew his Pokémon and started to walk out. Before he did though, he decided to walk by Cynthia. “Go to hell!” Rupert spat in Cynthia’s face. Seeing this, Sophie quickly grabbed a Pokéball from her purse and held it straight at Rupert.

“Sophie, don’t!” Cynthia warned Sophie. Sophie complied and returned the Pokéball to her purse. Rupert stood still, sweating from what just happened. “It would be for the best if you left now,” said Cynthia. Rupert made his way out, and as he walked out the door…

“It was nice meeting you!” said Bertrand. The doors shut, and Rupert had left the gym forever.

“So what do I do now?” asked Cindy.

“There’s a new gym leader in charge at Arben Town,” said Cynthia. “Joe, are you prepared?”

“Hi-yah! I am ready to kick some ass!” shouted Joe.

“He’s ready,” noted Bertrand.

Joe ran over to the corner opposite of Cindy. “I am going to karate chop your ass, girl! Go, Sawk!”

“Saaaaaawk!” cried out the Pokémon, which had a lean body, rocky blue skin, and was strangely wearing a karate outfit. Just like its trainer, Sawk began performing karate moves in the air.

“Bellossom, don’t take any crap from this guy!” Cindy shouted from her corner.

“Let’s get ready to ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-” the referee began, but Joe cut him off.

“Whoa! What are you doing, man?” snapped Joe.

“I’m just starting the battle,” explained the referee.

“I don’t want any of that boxing crap in my gym!” Joe pointed to himself. “Can’t you see my outfit? I’m a karate master! I demand all battles in my gym be a karate duel!”

“A karate duel? What the hell is a karate duel?” asked the referee.

Cynthia just shrugged at him. “Just have a normal battle. Joe can think it’s a ‘karate duel’ or whatever if he wants to.”

“Okay,” replied the referee. “This will be a one on one battle! Bellossom versus Sawk! Pokémon, begin!”

“Bellossom, Leaf Blade!” ordered Cindy. Bellossom pulled out a sword made of leaves out from under her grass skirt and started charging at Sawk.

“Sawk, Karate Chop, hi-yah!” As Bellossom swung her blade at Sawk, Sawk chopped it midair, blocking the blade from hitting him.

“Stun Spore!” From the flowers on Bellossom’s head, tiny spores came out and floated onto Sawk, causing him to drop to his knees.

“Aiiiii, Low Sweep!” cried out Joe. Using the leg with less pressure on it, Sawk swung at Bellossom, kicking the Pokémon into the ropes. “Hachacha!” cheered Joe.

“Don’t worry! He’s still paralyzed, Bellossom! Keep your distance! Use Magical Leaf!” ordered Cindy.

“Bellossom!” cried Bellossom as many leaves appeared to be coming out of the flowers on her head. They flew towards Sawk, and Sawk made an attempt to karate chop some of them out of the air, but the paralysis had slowed him down, and many of the leaves still hit him, sending him into a frenzy.

“Sawk! Sawk! Sawk!” he cried, trying to avoid the leaves, but it was no use.

“Hit him with Leaf Blade now!” shouted Cindy. Bellossom ran with grace towards Sawk, pulling out her leafy sword, and this time, her swing was able to make contact with Sawk, who was too distracted by the previous Magical Leaf attack to see it coming. “And now, Mega Drain!” Bellossom now head butted Sawk, and the flowers on her head appeared to be dragging energy out of Sawk.

“Sawk, do something, man!” cried out Joe from the sidelines. Sawk tried to knock Bellossom off of him, but he was unable to complete his karate chop, his arm becoming stuck in midair. “Just Bide then, Sawk!” ordered Joe, and Sawk seemed to give in as Bellossom went back to whacking Sawk with her sword.

“Dammit! He’s going to strike back! Bellossom, jump away and prepare Solarbeam!” Bellossom hopped off of Sawk and over to the opposite end of the ring. She began to build energy in the two flowers on her head. The two Pokémon stood still, both preparing for their attacks. Finally, Joe gave an order.

“Sawk, now!” Sawk jumped up onto the ropes, and jumped again, flying headfirst right at Bellossom.

“Bellossoooooooooom!” Bellossom cried as she released the Solarbeam. It passed right through Sawk, stopping him in midair. It almost looked as if he was suspended in the air, until finally Sawk collapsed onto the ground, fainted.

“Sawk is unable to battle! Bellossom is the winner!” announced the referee, and Cindy jumped in to the ring, picking up Bellossom and hugging her.

“We did it!” cheered Cindy.

“Bellossom!” cheered Bellossom. Even Garfield hopped into the ring now to join the hug.

“It’s all because of that training I gave you this morning!” he added.

“Well, I suppose we’re done here, then,” said Cynthia.

“What do you mean?” asked Garfield, pulling away from the hug now.

“I was more than satisfied by Joe’s battle!” exclaimed Bertrand. “It was quite exciting! Thos two really went at it, didn’t they?”

“We’re quite confident in Joe’s abilities to lead the gym from now on,” said Cynthia. “Joe, you’ll have no objections running the gym from now on, correct?”

“Correctamundo!” replied Joe.

“Well, that’s that,” finished Cynthia.

“But Cindy defeated Joe much faster than she almost defeated Rupert!” objected Garfield. “That doesn’t seem fair to Rupert at all! You just kicked him to the curb and replaced him with someone even worse!”

“Don’t talk about a complex auditing system that you fail to understand!” sneered Cynthia.

“Cynthia, don’t get angry at him! I can explain it!” said Bertrand. “You see, we didn’t just pick Joe off the street or something like that! He went through a very extensive gym leader training process in order to ensure that he would give the optimal challenge to a trainer arriving at the first gym in Barmellow! Rupert’s skill was not optimal, however. It’s a shame. He was such a nice guy!”

“Whatever. We’re done here. Joe, we’ll keep in touch. Sophie, Bertrand, let’s roll.” Cynthia walked out of the gym, Sophie and Bertrand following right behind.

“It was a pleasure to get to meet all of you!” Bertrand smiled as he left. As Sophie left, she stared at Cindy, unnerving her.

Cindy now recalled her Bellossom and walked out of the ring to see Joe. “So do I get my gym badge or something?” she asked.

“Uh… hey ref, do you have any gym badges?” Joe shouted over to the referee.

The referee sighed and dug into his pocket, finding a badge shaped like a boxing ring. “It’s the Boxing Badge,” he told Joe.

“Boxing? Ugh, we’ll have to change that!” Joe grabbed the badge from the referee and presented it to Cindy. “For you success in battle against me, blah, blah, blah, you get this!” He threw the badge at her.

“Thanks, I guess,” Cindy put the badge in her bag. “I guess we’ll be off now. Have a nice day, referee!” Cindy waved to the referee, not even acknowledging Joe anymore, as she left the gym, Garfield right behind her.

“Only seven more badges to go!” said Garfield as they exited the gym.

“Where do we go now?” asked Cindy.

“I think Ricorda Town,” answered Garfield. “To get there, we’re going to have to go through the Arben Forest, though.”

“A forest? I hate the outdoors!” complained Cindy.

“The faster we get through there, the faster we’ll be back to civilization!” Garfield pointed out.

“Let me just heal my Pokémon and then we can hit the road,” Cindy said. Cindy and Garfield walked over to the Pokémon Center, getting ready to leave Arben Town behind and conquer the next gym.

Meanwhile, Garret was becoming frustrated. After being told off by William, he had paced around his office all day until he finally came to a decision: he had to finish Harry off himself. He had to be punished for his insolence. William, Judy, Simon, and Nicole didn’t have the nerve to do it, so Garret was going to finish Harry off himself.

By the time Garret had arrived at Harry’s house, Nicole was long gone, but so was Harry. Garret had decided to pull his car up in the road a couple of house away from Harry’s house. He was staking the residence out, waiting for Harry to come back home. He would wait forever if he had to, as the only thing Garret cared about right now was silencing Harry.

Someone was tapping on Garret’s car window. It was a middle aged man. Garret brought his window down. “Can I help you with something?” growled Garret.

“I was just wondering… you’re parked in front of my house… and we’re having a party at my house… do you think you can move so that we can have more parking space?” asked the man, scared. Garret just rolled the window back up. “Sir… is that a yes?” Garret looked at the man, and the man ran back inside his home. Garret sighed.

At the Pokémon League Headquarters, William was worried. “Have you seen Garret recently?” he asked Simon, who had just walked into his office.

“Garret? No, I haven’t seen that brute,” said Simon. “You shouldn’t worry about him too much. If he decides to quit, so be it. He doesn’t deserve to be part of the Elite Four.”

“He’s a great trainer. One of the best,” said William. “He may have made some past indiscretions, but in the present, he’s a member of the Elite Four and nothing more.”

“A member of the Elite Four that’s quick to anger, may I remind you,” Simon pointed out.

“I know you don’t like Garret, but there’s nothing you can do about it, Simon. I just hope he doesn’t do anything too distract. He wouldn’t slip back into his old ways, right?” William asked.

“Do I really need to answer that? You should know my answer already!” Simon laughed.

“And why are you dripping wet?!” William had just noticed Simon’s bathing suit was soaked and dripping water all over his office.

“I came by from afternoon swim,” said Simon. “One of the auditors should be arriving here soon. Do you need any preparations made?”

“I’m pretty sure the staff has everything handled. Don’t worry about it,” said William.

“I’ll see you soon, then!” Simon left the office, leaving William alone to his thoughts. He really was worried for Garret. Although he was able to defend Garret from the other members, if Garret made one little slip up that became well known throughout the Pokémon League Headquarters, he would be finished. There would be no way he could justify keeping Garret around to Judy, Simon, or Nicole. He hoped that day wouldn’t come, but he had a bad feeling about it…

Chapter 4 Preview: As Cindy and Garfield make their way to Ricorda Town, they get lost, and Garfield refuses to ask someone for directions! What a typical man! Cynthia, Bertrand, and Sophie decide to take a break from auditing to play Monopoly, but things get heated up when Bertrand causes controversy by asking if he gets double the money for landing on Go! Garret breaks his car radio when he hears Rick Astley’s Never Gonna Give You Up! Will he be able to get a new one in time before Harry gets home? William tries to get Simon to dry off before he starts to walk around the Pokémon League Headquarters, but will Simon listen? And will Nicole ever kick her smoking habit? Does anyone even care? I sure don’t! Read about all of this stuff in Chapter 4: Bowling for Servine! It’ll be more fun than a trip to the urologist!