Destroy the Block of Bedrock VI: No More Mr. Gneiss Guy

[Sketchie]

Destroy the Block of Bedrock VI
"No More Mr. Gneiss Guy"
Theme Song​

Long have I waited to take my game back. It has been well over the game limit time, and now, the prodigal Judge has returned.

Welcome, welcome one and all, to a longstanding Serebii Forums tradition: breaking the rock of bedrock. I’m Sketchie, and I’ll be your loyal judge for today. Join us in physically and emotionally destroying a rock, with comradery and happy fun times of competition.

The Basics
There are a lot of rocks. Quite a few. Your job, as a valiant adventurer, is to tell me exactly how you destroy the rock. Some rocks have themes to them, most won’t. You guys already get the themes part down on your own, without me needing to tell you. I, the Judge, will tally depending on how strong your attack was.

(Protip: while I do my best to judge fairly and logically, you are allowed to play your Judge. [see: clown make-up.])

How do you destroy the bedrock? Well, my good buddy, you can do just about anything. For example:

I roll the bedrock down a hill. Into burning spikes.

Then for the tallying:

Things get ~*~serious~*~ when the spikes are on fire. -16

Commandments
1) All SPPF rules apply.
2) No flaming, trolling and spamming.
3) Never post the same attack twice, or copy someone else’s attack. It’s lazy, boring, and I will tally it as a 0, and possibly report it for spam if it keeps happening.
--- Attacks from the last game are valid.
4) Be inventive with your attacks! It can be anything and everything within reason! (But positive things i usually give a 0 to. Don’t give it a sundae, it likes those things. However, I am not allowed to heal the bedrock, unless specifically stated otherwise.)
--- 4a) Unless the theme states you can heal the bedrock, do not try to heal the bedrock. It's annoying and counterproductive.
5) There's no need to sign up, just get posting!

Judges -- accepting new judges at this time.
Sketchie

Mantlepiece of Champions:

V2
Freelance Rocker destroyer- QuagsireEOod
The Rugged Individualist destroyer- SlenderMan0
Sticks and Stones destroyer- Celestial Moth
Soaring Pebbles destroyer- tleon
Ghostly Road destroyer- SoulDialga
NOreMal destroyer- SilverChiko
Captain Bedbeard destroyer- PokemonTrainerY
Candy Rocks destroyer- Pamizard
Icy Granite destroyer- Shiny Swalot
Shiny Bedrock destroyer- Rotom Router
Molten Quartz destroyer - The desert spirit
Bedrockinite destroyer + MegaBedrock destroyer - PokémonTrainerY
Mini-Rull destroyer - dirkac
Travel Gravel destroyer - General Nonsense
Chip off the ol' Block destroyer - ~CallOfTheIndie~
Bedrock #17 destroyer - Tsukuyomi56
ORASphalt destroyer - N/A
Head Turkey of Justice Destroyer - General Nonsense
The Exhausting Bedrock Test of Disappointment, Self-L

V3
Arctic Tundrock - Tsukuyomi56 (v3)
Tough to CrackRock - Monster Guy (v3)
Bedrock Bedrock - Shattersoul (v3)
-- Awards Ceremony
Craig - Shattersoul (v3)
It’s That Rock Again - Monster Guy (v3)

V5
The First Bedrock Ever From 2012 - Yureishi, February 6th, 2019

V6
The Basic Binchrock - TheWanderingMist

Now what are you waiting for? ROCK ON!!

Current Bedrock:
Stonks Rock
HP: 45000
Damage Range: Anywhere from 0-500, depending on the STONK MARKET

 

[wolf jani]

I kick the bedrock

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

I force the bedrock to watch the horror of Barney’s Great Adventure for all eternity!

 

[wolf jani]

I unsubscribe the bedrock's Youtube channel

 

[WishIhadaManafi5]

I blow up the rock using some powerful ACME TNT.

 

[Tsukuyomi56]

I drop an anvil on the Bedrock.

 

[Dragalge]

Rodney Long: *takes a bit of a chunk of bedrock* Dude this piece of bedrock kicks ass and I can add this to my pet rock collection! I’m going to call it Stamp! *runs away with Stamp*

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

I have Machamp use Brick Break on the bedrock!

 

[WishIhadaManafi5]

Brings out a Snorlax that uses Earthquake on the rock.

 

[Monster Guy]

I fire two warning shots. Into the bedrocks head.

 

[AgentKallus]

I look at the bedrock with sad eyes and remind it of all it's failings, I ask it calmly to stop and think about the path it is on.

 

[Monster Guy]

I fix the bedrock a drink

You know, some rocks just can’t hold their arsenic

It had it coming
It had it coming
It took a flower
In its prime
And then he used it
And he abused it
It was a murder
But not a crime!

 

[wolf jani]

I throw an airplane at the bedrock

 

[WishIhadaManafi5]

Start up a tsunami and aim it at the rock.

 

[Monster Guy]

The bedrock ran into my knife

The bedrock ran into my knife ten times

It had it coming
It had it coming
It only had itself to blame
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it
I betcha you would
Have done the same!

 

[AgentKallus]

I put the bed rock in-between two enormous slices of bread in the hopes that someone will mistake it for a sandwich.

 

[mehmeh1]

I become the bedrock and beat it in a battle of bedrock attrition

 

[WishIhadaManafi5]

Launch a torpedo at the rock.

 

[Monster Guy]

I was in such a state of shock that your judging this again,
I completely blacked out. I can't remember a thing.
It wasn't until later,
when I was washing the blood off my hands
I even knew the bedrock was dead.

It had it coming
It had it coming
It had it coming all along
I didn't do it
But if I done it
How could you tell me that I was wrong?

 

[Sketchie]

good LORD this blew up in the uhhhhhhh seven hours it's been up

I kick the bedrock

Classic. Simple. Understandable. Don't hurt your foot. -5

I force the bedrock to watch the horror of Barney’s Great Adventure for all eternity!

Roll 1d10 for psychic damage. (Google gave me a nat 10. Go you!) -10

I unsubscribe the bedrock's Youtube channel

You whipped and nae nae'ed right out of the bedrock's heart. -6

I blow up the rock using some powerful ACME TNT.

The bedrock is now soot black and smoking just a little. It looks at the camera with probable bewilderment. -9

I drop an anvil on the Bedrock.

Along with being soot black, the bedrock is now flattened like an accordion. All subsequent attacks will be accompanied by accordion noises. -9

Rodney Long: *takes a bit of a chunk of bedrock* Dude this piece of bedrock kicks ass and I can add this to my pet rock collection! I’m going to call it Stamp! *runs away with Stamp*

I'm sure this would be a lot funnier and a lot more effective if I knew who Rodney Long was, but when I googled him I just found a 2.2 star real estate company. However, yes, this bedrock does in face kick ass. -2

I have Machamp use Brick Break on the bedrock!

It's super effective! -8

Brings out a Snorlax that uses Earthquake on the rock.

It's super effective! -10

(Unfortunately, I have no idea what your pokemon's stats are, nor the stats of the bedrock,NOR how to figure out damage, so I just took the power rating, divided by 10 and rounded. You're welcome.)

I fire two warning shots. Into the bedrocks head.

hE HAD IT COMIN' -8

I look at the bedrock with sad eyes and remind it of all it's failings, I ask it calmly to stop and think about the path it is on.

The bedrock feels no remorse. It will be That Basic and order enough Starbucks Pink Drinks to fill the ocean with filth. No ethical consumption under late stage capitalism, baby! -1

I fix the bedrock a drink

You know, some rocks just can’t hold their arsenic

HE ONLY HAD HIMSELF TO BLAAAAAME -10 (points for finding my fave line)

I throw an airplane at the bedrock

bEdRoCk/11 WaS aN iNsIdE jOB -5

Start up a tsunami and aim it at the rock.

Quick question: how does one "start up" a tsunami? I imaging you pulling a little thingy to get the motor going, like you would a lawnmower. -8

The bedrock ran into my knife

The bedrock ran into my knife ten times

It had it coming
It had it coming
It only had itself to blame
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it
I betcha you would
Have done the same!

*cellblock tango noises* -7

I put the bed rock in-between two enormous slices of bread in the hopes that someone will mistake it for a sandwich.

-7 for making me laugh.

I become the bedrock and beat it in a battle of bedrock attrition

... Does this mean you're the bedrock now? Are we breaking Serebii Forums user Mehmeh1? -4

Launch a torpedo at the rock.

Yaaaaaaay explosions! -8

I was in such a state of shock that your judging this again,
I completely blacked out. I can't remember a thing.
It wasn't until later,
when I was washing the blood off my hands
I even knew the bedrock was dead.

It had it coming
It had it coming
It had it coming all along
I didn't do it
But if I done it
How could you tell me that I was wrong?

Please join us for Bedrock Tango, the new hit musical by Monster Guy. -7

Current Bedrock: Basic Binchrock
Current Damage Rating: 1-10, no shifts
Damage Done This Post: -114
Current HP: 386/500