• Hi all. We have had reports of member's signatures being edited to include malicious content. You can rest assured this wasn't done by staff and we can find no indication that the forums themselves have been compromised.

    However, remember to keep your passwords secure. If you use similar logins on multiple sites, people and even bots may be able to access your account.

    We always recommend using unique passwords and enable two-factor authentication if possible. Make sure you are secure.
  • Be sure to join the discussion on our discord at: Discord.gg/serebii
  • If you're still waiting for the e-mail, be sure to check your junk/spam e-mail folders

Detonation *one shot*

Missingno. Master

Poison-type Trainer
Rated PG, for violence (nothing bloody) and death.

I stood alone in the most abandoned part of my home, sad and lonely. It was the only part of New Mauville of which I have not already destroyed. I had a problem with my detono gland, a bodily organ within us Voltorbs which regulates our ability to Self Destruct and Explode. Usually, the gland only allows us to detonate when under extreme pressure, or the gland's actions can be voluntarily prevented by our minds if we want to use a detonation technique. Mine, however, was faulty; it would give way at complete random. In layman's terms, I was liable to explode at any given moment. It had happened before, many times in the past.

There was one time when I was exploring a new sector of New Mauville. I was a young Voltorb then, carefree in my ways. I was rolling towards a strange machine when I exploded for the first time in my life. The sheer unexpectedness of my sudden self destruction rendered me unconscious, as the attack Self Destruct or Explosion would have anyway. A week later, I awoke in the hospital room of New Mauville, where my doctor, a friendly Magneton, informed me that I had a problem with my detono gland. It was the only explanation, seeing as I was under no pressure at the time, plus I was too young to even know Self-Destruct.

Believe me, when I DID learn Self Destruct, things got much worse.

Another instance of my gland problem was when I had spotted a beautiful female Voltorb (We Voltorbs do have genders, it's just that humans have never been able to check properly for them), so I rolled my blue-and-white body across the floor to greet her. I was talking it up with Nina, when.... Kaboom. When I got out of the hospital room that time, I immediately rolled over to Nina to apologize, but she shunned me, pushed me away! She thought I Self Destructed on her on purpose! The most embarrasing moment of my life.

Things got even worse upon my learning Explosion. That was when I actually began to destroy parts of New Mauville.

Countless times, I exploded and exploded, all without provocation, without warning, without mercy. Within weeks of my learning the Explosion technique, New Mauville was reduced to an extra-crispy labyrinth.

So now, here I sat in my room. Oddly enough, my gland never gave way there. I even had a window, which gave me a good view of the outside world. I saw a bridge through my window, a relic of the now Voltorb-infested Cycling Road. Many times, I had seen countless Voltorb hold races on that bridge. Occasionally, Nina would participate in a race. That always made me moan loudly at my lost love, all dut to a stupid detono gland! But I had heard a rumor. Long, long ago, this rumor had been the topic of discussion among Magnemites, who are well known for their gossippy nature. I had heard that a Voltorb with a bad detono gland would be cured of it upon evolving. I at first doubted it; much of the gossip that Magnemites speak of is never based on actual facts. But I had to give it a try. THe only problem, however, is that New Mauville had been abandoned for years, except for me. But today, I had seen Nina roll across that bridge in yet another race, and decided it was worth a try to leave New Mauville's ruins and evolve.

I rolled out the cave door, and over to the water. I knew that Water Pokemon were weak against electric moves. Luckily, I was perfectly capable of using Spark. I looked around, and finally saw a lone Wingull skimming the water. I called over to it, "Yo! You! Wingull! Yes, you! Could you please come here for a moment?" THe Wingull seemed confused at the prospect of a shiny Voltorb beckoning to it, but it came over all the same.

I spoke to it, "Hi, my name's Mitch. I was wondering, would you like to battle me, you know, for the experience?" The Wingull seemed obliging; Luckily, all Wingulls had easygoing natures.

"Sure, no prob."

With that, the Wingull flapped its wings, creating a Twister attack. I gathered electrical energy within my body, and released it at the Wingull with all my might. The Wingull fell unconscious into the water, the Twister dissipating. I then felt a strange sensation welling up within me. THen, I saw only a bright light! I thought I was dying, but it took me a moment to realize that the glow was coming from me! I was evolving! I felt my body steadily expand, until the glow stopped. I checked my reflection in the water. An eager-looking Electrode stared back at me. Now confident that my gland problem was cured, I zipped across the water in a jubliant Rollout attack. I zoomed straight up, and landed on the bridge. At that same moment, Nina had won anothe rrace, and she began to glow! She grew like I did, until she had become an Electrode, too! Except she was red and I blue. She was so pleased with her new form, she began a Rollout, just like I did. Unfortunately, it was an extremely narrow bridge. She rolled right off the edge, and her laughter turned instantaneously to a shriek of pure horror. I looked into the water, and decided that she had good damn reason to scream, in the nearby water was a Sharpedo! And she landed right next to it! Luckily, Electrodes are very buoyant. I knew she didn't like me, but my infatuation for her took over. I followed her, rolling towards the sharpedo. I shouted "Hey, Tentacool breath!" at him. Not the wisest thing to blurt out to a random SHarpedo, but I was desparate! I immediately shouted "Nina, brace yourself! I'm about to use Spark, and Water conducts electricity!" Nina nodded, and clenched her teeth, something a Voltorb could never do, by the way. I blasted Sharpedo with a jolt of electricity, and it went under. I rolled over to Nina, and said "Nina, are you OK?"

"I guess so, but how do you know my name?"

"It's me, Mitch, that Voltorb with the detono gland problem. But it's fine now; I evolved. Surely you heard the rumors from the Magnemite about faulty detono glands and evolving?"

Nina didn't know what to say. She finally spoke up with "Tha-that was a gland problem? You DIDN'T explode on me on purpose? Oh, Mitch, I'm so sorry! And all these years I've been holding a grudge to make a Ninetales jealous, when all this time, I've been secretly in love with you!"

Now it was my turn to be shocked. Nina loved ME?! "I-Nina, I love you, too!" Nina's eyes lit up in happiness, and we inched closer together, and kissed! I felt my insides get all warm- but it wasn't just from the kiss! No, I've gon warm every time, just before- no, it couldn't be! Could it?


A fierce explosion rocked Route 110! And this one was BIG! I saw Nina collapse into the water, stone dead. I started to weep, as I was dying from a combination of drowning, and lack of energy sue to the explosion. With my last strenght, I surfaced and shouted to my dumbstruck family "Tell... the Magnemites.... that I, Mitch the Electrode... I hate them all... and their stupid rumors...."

And with that last parting curse. I died.

Yami Ryu

Well-Known Member
This is about the same as your last fics, once again humanising pokemon. You show you have potential, but once again you waste it in rushing a fic that could've taken a bit longer to delve into emotions and the ilk, instead of creating pale two dimensional characters. Why would a Voltorb appear in a hospital after self destructing? And even if Voltorb/Electrode could float, how would they move in the water with no flippers or feet or anything of the sort? And how would a shiny pkmn go so long without being captured? And a gland for exploding .... for some reason it makes me think of an apendix. It's sorta been proven Electrode explode (and voldorb) from too much stored up energy and stress.

And if he knew he was so dangerous to others, why would he put his 'love' at risk of death or serious injury?

I'm sorry, but this is once again, another poor quality one shot from you.

Missingno. Master

Poison-type Trainer
As the fic states, the gland allows their ability to detonate at all. WIthout it, they wouldn't be able to explode, even under extreme pressure.

I'm talking about the possibility that New Mauville had a hospital section for injured wild Pokemon.

The Voltorb was ready to risk anything for love. He REALLY loved Nina.

This one-shot was very much intended to be a romantic fic depicting a Voltorb risking everything for the one he loved. Instead, you pick it apart and point out EVERY SINGLE FLAW within it.

Honestly, do you ever have ANYTHING nice to say about ANY of my fics?!