Neko Godot
Hey! Listen!
Rated PG-13
Basically this is a one-shot about Professor Oak, Mary, and a pilot getting stranded on an island. However, everything tends to be ruined by Oak's complete uncaring for others. But enough of me describing it, read it for yourself. Oh, and I don't own any of the characters, Pokemon, or places portrayed in this fic.
Diary of a Mad Professor
Day 1
Well, Mary and I were going to go on vacation to Hoenn. We had our bags packed, and our private helicopter was ready to go. It was clear skies until we reached Hoenn, where a storm it us. I am now stranded on some deserted island, with only Mary and the pilot to keep me company. I’ve decided to start a diary to keep track of the time that passes and to keep my sanity. Will write tomorrow.
Day 2
Today I had an argument with the pilot over food. He says we should find some fruit bearing plants nearby. I said poppycock we should just dive down and fetch the supplies in the helicopter. He said that the food would be wet. I said who cares it’s still food. He said he doesn’t like wet food. I said I’m going to shoot him. He said I don’t have a gun. I’m starting to hate this island.
Day 3
Well, I gave in to the stupid pilot’s demands and searched the island for food. I found some nice berry bearing plants by the shore. I tried taking some, but wild Wynauts attacked me. I threatened them with my gun and they ran away. Too bad they didn’t realize that I didn’t have a gun. Suckers.
Day 4
I have come to the conclusion that we are on Mirage Island. The pilot said he came to that conclusion first, but I said nonsense I’m a professor and you’re just a lowly pilot. The pilot then ran away to sulk. Crybaby.
Day 5
Today Mary and I began to build a shelter. It was hard, and I found that I couldn’t carry the branches. Mary yelled at me that she could carry me than me and that she was a girl, to which I replied that her statement was sexist. I was then smacked. It hurt.
Day 6
I’ve decided that I should just leave the island now. I gathered a few berries to eat for the swim off the island. I’ll leave tomorrow.
Day 7
Turns out that I didn’t get to leave. There was a Sharpedo in the water. It was angry and blocking my way out to open sea. I hit it with a stick. It got angrier. Then I tried to put the stick up its butt. That got it even angrier. I’m going to have to find another way off the island.
Day 8
I have now been on the island for a week. There still hasn’t been any sign of the pilot since he left to cry. Good riddance.
Day 9
Today I got into another argument with Mary. I said I was hungry and wanted to eat the Wynauts so that I could eat some meat. Mary said I couldn’t do that, and that I should just eat some berries instead. I yelled at Mary for being a moron, and then I ran off to cry.
Day 10
I am now in what I am calling my Crying Spot. The Crying Spot overlooks a waterfall, which is an excellent view for crying, if you happen to be into crying and all that fun stuff. I spent the whole day crying here.
Day 11
I am now going in search of the pilot. I figure that he’s dead already, and if he is dead, I’ll eat him. If he’s not dead I’ll kill him and then eat him. I haven’t ate meat in a while, it was so good.
Day 12
I found the pilot lying in the water by the fallen helicopter, dead. Silly pilot, he must have accidentally drowned in the water while sulking. Oh well, at least it’s not my fault. I ate well tonight.
Day 13
Today was the unlucky thirteenth day. Luckily for me it was anything but unlucky. I came up with a brilliant plan to get past that blasted Sharpedo. But first I must befriend the Wynauts.
Day 14
Today was the day I attempted to befriend the Wynauts. I slowly walked up to them and gave them my hand. They then bit me. It hurt. Really really bad. I’m going to have to resort to a new plan.
Day 15
I resorted to my new plan. I kidnapped a Wynaut and threw it at the Sharpedo. Unfortunately, the Sharpedo just ate the Wynaut. Time to move on to my brilliant plan B.
Day 16
Plan B didn’t work. I threw two Wynauts at Sharpedo, and yet it still managed to swallow both of them whole. I hate this island.
Day 17
Throwing three Wynauts at the Sharpedo didn’t work either. This really upset me, so I spent the whole day at my Crying Spot. I love a good cry.
Day 18
Today I discussed with Mary what we should do about Sharpedo. Mary said that if we could get something electrical and turn it on in the water, Sharpedo would be zapped. I think it’s a good idea.
Day 19
Mary said that anything electrical would be sunken with the helicopter. So I dived down today. I found a radio and brought it up to shore. I’m letting it dry out in the sun today, and tomorrow I’m throwing it at Sharpedo.
Day 20
Well, my brilliant plan seemed to work, at least at first. I turned the radio on and threw it at Sharpedo. Sharpedo was zapped, but then soon after two more Sharpedos came to growl at me. I’m so frustrated right now.
Day 21
I yelled at Mary that her dumb plan didn’t work. She says that if we’re to kill the Sharpedos, we’ll need more electrical appliances. I said I refuse to take part in her stupid schemes anymore, and she yelled at me. Now she left me on the shore of the island, and I have no idea where she is. I hope she doesn’t accidentally drown like the pilot.
Day 22
I’m starting to grow a beard. A very big, white beard. I look like Santa Clause. I wish I had a razor so that I could shave this monstrosity off.
Day 23
Well, today I decided to have a good cry at my Crying Spot, but sadly found Mary already there. She said she claimed this as her part of the island. I said that this was my Crying Spot, not hers. She said to me what kind of nonsense are you talking about, and then she smacked me. I hate this island.
Day 24
Well today I tried to start a distress fire. It was really big, but then I got some fire on my clothes and had to jump in the ocean to get it off. Then I had to stamp the fire out. I need Mary’s help.
Day 25
I asked Mary to help me build a fire. She said yes. She started to build her fire, and I told her she should read The Deserted Islander’s Guide to learn how to build a proper distress fire, as her fire was all wrong. She then yelled at me because she said it was her fire and she was going to build it however she wanted to. She also said that the only reason she didn’t kill me yet was because I was friends with the Head of Reporting at the Pokemon Laboratory Headquarters and that if I were murdered, he would surely notice. Finally, she called me an arrogant jerk.
Day 26
Today I went to my Crying Spot, as Mary wasn’t there. I then had a good idea. I should try to climb the waterfall. I began to build a rope today, using leaves from the island’s palm trees.
Day 27
I was about to use my awesome rope when I realized my awesome rope had no hook to attach itself to the top of the waterfall. Another plan ruined.
Day 28
Today I probably pulled off my most brilliant plan yet. I captured all the Wynauts on the island today. I am beginning to build a catapult, which will launch all of them at the Sharpedos. They won’t stand a chance.
Day 29
I continued construction on my catapult. Mary asked me what I was doing. I said nothing. Mary wondered why there were no more Wynauts around. I said they must have all flew south for the winter. Mary said that it wasn’t winter, it was summer, and that Wynauts couldn’t fly anyway. I told her to shut up. She left.
Day 30
I did it. I finally killed the Sharpedos. I launched all of the Wynauts out of the catapult, and one by one they landed on the Sharpedos until they were dead. I plan to escape the island tomorrow.
Day 31
I was about to swim off the island when I realized that I had no idea which direction was which. So I asked Mary for a map. She had one, but it was all wrong. She yelled at me to stop criticizing her, and that I’m the one in the wrong, not her. I said that’s nonsense, and she said that once again I was acting arrogant. I hate this island.
Day 32
Since I had no idea which way was which, I decided to dive down to explore the helicopter wreck again. However, I was unable to find a compass or a dry map. Why weren’t there any dry maps underwater?
Day 32
I decided to just swim out today. I swam out for a while, but then I realized it would get tiring soon, so I swam back to shore. Someone please rescue me.
Day 33
Today I was rescued. I saw a Pokemon trainer surfing on his Wailmer approaching. I asked him if he could help me off this island. He said of course he could, as this was Ever Grande Island, home of the Hoenn Pokemon League. Hah, that stupid pilot was wrong. Anyways, before he took me up the waterfall, he asked me if anyone else was stranded on the island. I said no one else was, and with that he took me up the waterfall. Now I am sitting in the Ever Grande Pokemon Center. Oh how much I love civilization.
Basically this is a one-shot about Professor Oak, Mary, and a pilot getting stranded on an island. However, everything tends to be ruined by Oak's complete uncaring for others. But enough of me describing it, read it for yourself. Oh, and I don't own any of the characters, Pokemon, or places portrayed in this fic.
Diary of a Mad Professor
Day 1
Well, Mary and I were going to go on vacation to Hoenn. We had our bags packed, and our private helicopter was ready to go. It was clear skies until we reached Hoenn, where a storm it us. I am now stranded on some deserted island, with only Mary and the pilot to keep me company. I’ve decided to start a diary to keep track of the time that passes and to keep my sanity. Will write tomorrow.
Day 2
Today I had an argument with the pilot over food. He says we should find some fruit bearing plants nearby. I said poppycock we should just dive down and fetch the supplies in the helicopter. He said that the food would be wet. I said who cares it’s still food. He said he doesn’t like wet food. I said I’m going to shoot him. He said I don’t have a gun. I’m starting to hate this island.
Day 3
Well, I gave in to the stupid pilot’s demands and searched the island for food. I found some nice berry bearing plants by the shore. I tried taking some, but wild Wynauts attacked me. I threatened them with my gun and they ran away. Too bad they didn’t realize that I didn’t have a gun. Suckers.
Day 4
I have come to the conclusion that we are on Mirage Island. The pilot said he came to that conclusion first, but I said nonsense I’m a professor and you’re just a lowly pilot. The pilot then ran away to sulk. Crybaby.
Day 5
Today Mary and I began to build a shelter. It was hard, and I found that I couldn’t carry the branches. Mary yelled at me that she could carry me than me and that she was a girl, to which I replied that her statement was sexist. I was then smacked. It hurt.
Day 6
I’ve decided that I should just leave the island now. I gathered a few berries to eat for the swim off the island. I’ll leave tomorrow.
Day 7
Turns out that I didn’t get to leave. There was a Sharpedo in the water. It was angry and blocking my way out to open sea. I hit it with a stick. It got angrier. Then I tried to put the stick up its butt. That got it even angrier. I’m going to have to find another way off the island.
Day 8
I have now been on the island for a week. There still hasn’t been any sign of the pilot since he left to cry. Good riddance.
Day 9
Today I got into another argument with Mary. I said I was hungry and wanted to eat the Wynauts so that I could eat some meat. Mary said I couldn’t do that, and that I should just eat some berries instead. I yelled at Mary for being a moron, and then I ran off to cry.
Day 10
I am now in what I am calling my Crying Spot. The Crying Spot overlooks a waterfall, which is an excellent view for crying, if you happen to be into crying and all that fun stuff. I spent the whole day crying here.
Day 11
I am now going in search of the pilot. I figure that he’s dead already, and if he is dead, I’ll eat him. If he’s not dead I’ll kill him and then eat him. I haven’t ate meat in a while, it was so good.
Day 12
I found the pilot lying in the water by the fallen helicopter, dead. Silly pilot, he must have accidentally drowned in the water while sulking. Oh well, at least it’s not my fault. I ate well tonight.
Day 13
Today was the unlucky thirteenth day. Luckily for me it was anything but unlucky. I came up with a brilliant plan to get past that blasted Sharpedo. But first I must befriend the Wynauts.
Day 14
Today was the day I attempted to befriend the Wynauts. I slowly walked up to them and gave them my hand. They then bit me. It hurt. Really really bad. I’m going to have to resort to a new plan.
Day 15
I resorted to my new plan. I kidnapped a Wynaut and threw it at the Sharpedo. Unfortunately, the Sharpedo just ate the Wynaut. Time to move on to my brilliant plan B.
Day 16
Plan B didn’t work. I threw two Wynauts at Sharpedo, and yet it still managed to swallow both of them whole. I hate this island.
Day 17
Throwing three Wynauts at the Sharpedo didn’t work either. This really upset me, so I spent the whole day at my Crying Spot. I love a good cry.
Day 18
Today I discussed with Mary what we should do about Sharpedo. Mary said that if we could get something electrical and turn it on in the water, Sharpedo would be zapped. I think it’s a good idea.
Day 19
Mary said that anything electrical would be sunken with the helicopter. So I dived down today. I found a radio and brought it up to shore. I’m letting it dry out in the sun today, and tomorrow I’m throwing it at Sharpedo.
Day 20
Well, my brilliant plan seemed to work, at least at first. I turned the radio on and threw it at Sharpedo. Sharpedo was zapped, but then soon after two more Sharpedos came to growl at me. I’m so frustrated right now.
Day 21
I yelled at Mary that her dumb plan didn’t work. She says that if we’re to kill the Sharpedos, we’ll need more electrical appliances. I said I refuse to take part in her stupid schemes anymore, and she yelled at me. Now she left me on the shore of the island, and I have no idea where she is. I hope she doesn’t accidentally drown like the pilot.
Day 22
I’m starting to grow a beard. A very big, white beard. I look like Santa Clause. I wish I had a razor so that I could shave this monstrosity off.
Day 23
Well, today I decided to have a good cry at my Crying Spot, but sadly found Mary already there. She said she claimed this as her part of the island. I said that this was my Crying Spot, not hers. She said to me what kind of nonsense are you talking about, and then she smacked me. I hate this island.
Day 24
Well today I tried to start a distress fire. It was really big, but then I got some fire on my clothes and had to jump in the ocean to get it off. Then I had to stamp the fire out. I need Mary’s help.
Day 25
I asked Mary to help me build a fire. She said yes. She started to build her fire, and I told her she should read The Deserted Islander’s Guide to learn how to build a proper distress fire, as her fire was all wrong. She then yelled at me because she said it was her fire and she was going to build it however she wanted to. She also said that the only reason she didn’t kill me yet was because I was friends with the Head of Reporting at the Pokemon Laboratory Headquarters and that if I were murdered, he would surely notice. Finally, she called me an arrogant jerk.
Day 26
Today I went to my Crying Spot, as Mary wasn’t there. I then had a good idea. I should try to climb the waterfall. I began to build a rope today, using leaves from the island’s palm trees.
Day 27
I was about to use my awesome rope when I realized my awesome rope had no hook to attach itself to the top of the waterfall. Another plan ruined.
Day 28
Today I probably pulled off my most brilliant plan yet. I captured all the Wynauts on the island today. I am beginning to build a catapult, which will launch all of them at the Sharpedos. They won’t stand a chance.
Day 29
I continued construction on my catapult. Mary asked me what I was doing. I said nothing. Mary wondered why there were no more Wynauts around. I said they must have all flew south for the winter. Mary said that it wasn’t winter, it was summer, and that Wynauts couldn’t fly anyway. I told her to shut up. She left.
Day 30
I did it. I finally killed the Sharpedos. I launched all of the Wynauts out of the catapult, and one by one they landed on the Sharpedos until they were dead. I plan to escape the island tomorrow.
Day 31
I was about to swim off the island when I realized that I had no idea which direction was which. So I asked Mary for a map. She had one, but it was all wrong. She yelled at me to stop criticizing her, and that I’m the one in the wrong, not her. I said that’s nonsense, and she said that once again I was acting arrogant. I hate this island.
Day 32
Since I had no idea which way was which, I decided to dive down to explore the helicopter wreck again. However, I was unable to find a compass or a dry map. Why weren’t there any dry maps underwater?
Day 32
I decided to just swim out today. I swam out for a while, but then I realized it would get tiring soon, so I swam back to shore. Someone please rescue me.
Day 33
Today I was rescued. I saw a Pokemon trainer surfing on his Wailmer approaching. I asked him if he could help me off this island. He said of course he could, as this was Ever Grande Island, home of the Hoenn Pokemon League. Hah, that stupid pilot was wrong. Anyways, before he took me up the waterfall, he asked me if anyone else was stranded on the island. I said no one else was, and with that he took me up the waterfall. Now I am sitting in the Ever Grande Pokemon Center. Oh how much I love civilization.