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Divorce, Is it a positive thing?
- Thread starter manaphy72
- Start date
I was 10 when my parents seperated and I can tell you that a lot of people underestimate the children involved in the aftermath. Even at that age I knew that both my parents loved me and that the seperation was not my fault. Despite the hardship, I've never skipped classes or have been involved in things like underage drinking, stealing etc. My brothers were 9 and 6 at the time and have never been involved in any of those things either. In fact the seperation actually allowed my parents to get along with each other better -I'm 22 now and my parents have always participated in family events like Christmass, Easter, birthdays etc. The only negative thing about divorce is the attitude of the general public -for instance whenever I mention the fact that my parents are seperated/ divorced to other people I usually get sympathetic looks and my parents often got nasty comments from other couples. What's worse than divorce is parents who stay together just for the sake of their children -this only results in miserable children.
Jb
Tsun in the streets
That's part of it, the other part is the man thinking that the woman will get most of everything anyway in settlement so they just give in to the terms to avoid future legal battles without exploring other options.
your belief is founded on the fact that the wife is normally the supplemental income in a relationship. As such, depending on how long the marriage lasts, the wife is entitled to keep up a "standard of living" she became accustom to.
There is also sometimes factors that reduce the spousal support, infidelity for instance.
I also sat in on a session where a divorce attorney insisted that the wife not proceed with her divorce till she was over the 10 year minimum, so she could get 1/2 the husbands pension. It's not always the wife who is wanting to stick it to the husband.
There is also sometimes factors that reduce the spousal support, infidelity for instance.
I also sat in on a session where a divorce attorney insisted that the wife not proceed with her divorce till she was over the 10 year minimum, so she could get 1/2 the husbands pension. It's not always the wife who is wanting to stick it to the husband.
GhostAnime
Searching for her...
Only a single teenager would think this.
How does that mean the "negative is becoming more apparent"? You don't know why people divorce. I just gave valid factors as to why it would be as high as it is. Every marriage is obviously different.
Yes, because you've done oh so much research on marriage yet your opinion on it is about as thoughtful as a 10-year-old still afraid of cooties.
Jb
Tsun in the streets
Well that's quite the silly statement.
It's doesn't matter why they divorced. The fact that they did means something didn't work out. Also when the divorce rate is nearing 51%to49% and growing it's obvious that the bad aspects will out shine the good from a spectator's view. Also divorce being 50% could be wrong to a large amount of people considering it's a sin..
Very cute.
I've been married and divorced and married again Jb...I have to agree with Ghost. without actually going through the whole... experience, you really don't know what you(in general) are talking about.
Honestly my divorce was a good thing for my ex and I. It allowed us to move on and try to find a happier place. I did thankfully, My Ex got married and divorced... again.
Honestly my divorce was a good thing for my ex and I. It allowed us to move on and try to find a happier place. I did thankfully, My Ex got married and divorced... again.
Pomegranate
Fruit of Prosperity
It really depends on the state of divorce. For example, my mother got screwed over initially in the divorce and had to fight very hard to get anything despite the fact that my father is a pathological liar and has all sorts of problems with him - because the initial divorce took place in Texas, where they favor the father in many divorce cases. Similarly, when we moved to New Jersey and therefore the case moved, my mother was more favored because that's just how NJ is.
Ideally both sexes would have equal rights all the time but unfortunately that's not always the case. It's a fallacy to assume that men are always screwed over though.
GhostAnime
Searching for her...
A silly statement to another one. Just how you like it.
First of all, it does matter, because there are elements that are just plain unpredictable by the human mind.
Second, what spectator's view? All you're looking at is a statistical number. You've never been married, you've probably never been in a relationship longer than a couple of years, you most certainly never researched a thing about marriage from the looks of things; your point of view is certainly not enough to lay judgment on the rate alone.
And nobody today considers it a sin; unless they're old traditional Christians, which is irrelevant in 2011.
Mr. Reloaded
Cause a pirate is free
I don't think its a "Bad thing" I just think people should really consider what their doing. Lets face the fact you meet someone you really like, lets say your the male and you purpose to your girlfriend, you say your vow's to be with each other until one of you dies. Now you can't keep that promise because you left the person for these possible reasons.
He/She started to loose interest in you and began cheating which I do agree is wrong.
He/She began to commit violent acts and is breaking the promise which if this happens you should consider family council's (especially with children.) If it doesn't work out and the violence still spreads then Jail time is always an alternate option. Still not working out then you can divorce only if it just isn't right or how you wanted it to be. Again I don't like the idea but you have the right to do what's better for the both of you.
He/She started to loose interest in you and began cheating which I do agree is wrong.
He/She began to commit violent acts and is breaking the promise which if this happens you should consider family council's (especially with children.) If it doesn't work out and the violence still spreads then Jail time is always an alternate option. Still not working out then you can divorce only if it just isn't right or how you wanted it to be. Again I don't like the idea but you have the right to do what's better for the both of you.
aurasageluke
AuraSage
I still think Marriage is bad as is. But that's generally for me, so no offense.
Notalwaysbalckanddwhite
Neighbor? Neighbor!
My parents are divorced. They are still friends, but they didn't think it was right to make me and my brother see/hear them fight. They live in different towns, but I still get to see both every week. I live with my mother. In my case, divorce WAS a positive thing because my homes are a lot more happy now. This was my opinion on it, and my experience. My friend's parents are going through a divorce, and it's a lot like mine, so she often falls back on me for support. I'm more that happy to give it.
Pomegranate
Fruit of Prosperity
If your spouse is violent, you need to get out of the relationship. Period.
latino heat
Mexican pride
I feel that the reasons that were already given (Violence, lack of love,arguing) are understandable but the problem is why get married?
I feel that divorce is your "Get Out Of Jail " card after you got married only to find out it was a mistake, so in some way or another a divorce is just a way of showing that getting married was a mistake... I dont know.
I feel that divorce is your "Get Out Of Jail " card after you got married only to find out it was a mistake, so in some way or another a divorce is just a way of showing that getting married was a mistake... I dont know.
Pomegranate
Fruit of Prosperity
Things change upon marriage. Maybe you lived together and had no problems, then you got married and had a child and the money strain caused endless fights. Or one was hiding something from the other; often violent spouses don't start out violent, and one day just snap.
Divorce in my opinion wouldn't happen if the person you choose to marry comes from a good family background, doesn't have a history of doing drugs or drinking excessively and doesn't come from an area or environment where most of these things are prevalent.
Many Western countries have high divorce rates but America takes the lead in this statistic.
To me, I see and hear of divorce happening mainly when the parents can't stand each other. I have a relative who works in a childcare centre and they look after children from as young as 0-2 years of age. Most of these kids have parents that have divorced very early in their lives. These kids then go from very happy, bubbling kids to sullen, moody and upset kids - in short, the divorce that happens for selfish reasons from the adults, affects the kids psychologically.
These kids grow up in an environment where " mummy and daddy live in separate houses and don't see each other anymore". Without the conditioning of both a mother and a father TOGETHER, these kids in my opinion are not brought up as well as they could be.
Sometimes, kids who have a very shaky family background engage in criminal behavior. How many murderers and delinquents have you heard of that come from a family where there was no divorce? There is a link between unstable family backgrounds and crime.
I believe divorce can be avoided if you choose the right guy/girl who comes from a very good family background and most importantly, who you can be the best of friends with. Marriage is a long haul and you've got to be willing to compromise just a little - you marry each other because you love each other and love in my definition means putting your loved ones' needs before your own. If that isn't there, then divorce is inevitable.
Many Western countries have high divorce rates but America takes the lead in this statistic.
To me, I see and hear of divorce happening mainly when the parents can't stand each other. I have a relative who works in a childcare centre and they look after children from as young as 0-2 years of age. Most of these kids have parents that have divorced very early in their lives. These kids then go from very happy, bubbling kids to sullen, moody and upset kids - in short, the divorce that happens for selfish reasons from the adults, affects the kids psychologically.
These kids grow up in an environment where " mummy and daddy live in separate houses and don't see each other anymore". Without the conditioning of both a mother and a father TOGETHER, these kids in my opinion are not brought up as well as they could be.
Sometimes, kids who have a very shaky family background engage in criminal behavior. How many murderers and delinquents have you heard of that come from a family where there was no divorce? There is a link between unstable family backgrounds and crime.
I believe divorce can be avoided if you choose the right guy/girl who comes from a very good family background and most importantly, who you can be the best of friends with. Marriage is a long haul and you've got to be willing to compromise just a little - you marry each other because you love each other and love in my definition means putting your loved ones' needs before your own. If that isn't there, then divorce is inevitable.
GhostAnime
Searching for her...
Even from good family backgrounds, divorce can still happen. People can change (or lie).
pikapikachiu
Well-Known Member
i think divorce is fine if the couple do not have any kids together. like i see no problem with that. but once the two have a kid together, they should really work hard to improve the relationship like through therapy and stuff. like if there is a kid, divorce should be a last option.