ScytheSwipe
Its whats for dinner
Is there anyone at all that actually experienced this or is sympathetic because I am obviously short-sighted. I was considering putting this in the Puberty thread but then, after a quick evaluation, determined that my posts will actually be tasteful and mean something, decided otherwise.
Actual responses other than kicking me when I'm already down would be nice.
Okay so here it goes:
There is this girl whom I have been friends with for several years now. We met at an athletic event. She was shy, blonde (not that I have a preference or am suggesting she is dumb), blue-eyed like myself, and talking TO ME. At first I was dumbstruck; fumbling for something to say. I mean at 15 everything is awkward, especially if it's with the opposite sex. I'm caught offgaurd but somehow by the end of the conversation I'm left with her phone# and email adress. I shouldn't be surprised. I mean you would think I wouldn't be since anyone that is close to me says that I indeed have an affinity for connecting with people on an undescribable level. So much so that babies stare and smile on a regular basis when I walk through the mall.
At first I thought I was just weird. Yes that is it there is something wrong with you that is why everyone gives you "The Look". But everyday I look in the mirror and say to myself (obviously not outloud) that I am normal; that this look is not the look reserved specifically for an atrosity. It is a curious almost endearingly- inviting- but- not -overly -exclamatory look. Then why? Why do I feel so distant?
Anyhow I called her, we became friends, there were good things, there were bad things, we became close friends. You know life: you think you are getting somewhere spiritually or what not. And suddenly I'm slowly beginning to realize that I'm always there for her. I mean she says it but I think nothing of it. I say to myself oh anyone would do that. But then I'm listening to 3hr. phone calls and helping her solve life problems and the list goes on.
Anyways one day we decide to date ( this was in between the good/bad things part). At first I tell her that I think its not such a good idea and that we should get to know each other better before we attempt it. But no she insists so I crumble and then I start to get used to the idea. Weeks pass and we break up. She's the one that ends it. Giving me the "Your right I'm moving too fast" we need to know each other better bullcrap. So I'm naive and buy into it.
Another years rolls by. By now we are close friends. However I'm starting to notice how increasingly common it is that she seems to not make much of an effort to ask about my emotions/ feelings. Then one day she asks me to go to this one place months in advance. Deep down I'm second guessing it she'll find someone else to accompany her I say to myself. But once again she insists that she wants me and only me to come with her on this outing.
With my hopes up and my worries eliminated I am shot down out of the wild blue because she calls me mininutes before I am about to leave to meet her to say that she decides it will be better for her not to go. BUT IT WAS A BIG DEAL!!! why is it not I big deal? she tells me to call her back Sunday like it never happened.
Needless to say I was mad. How could I be so naive? I am not naive? How could I be so short-sighted? I always look tot the future. How do I get past this feeling of betrayal and overall resentment of this girl for wasting my time (something I am sorely lacking)? Will this cycle ever be done repeating itself?
I'm a nice guy. 17 (vigin maybe) but that should just further solidfy that I'm a nice guy right? Oh but women don't like nice guys do they? Why am I typing a thread at 11:57 on a schoolnight? (Answer is becuz I won't wake up until 9 tomorrow because I am a hard worker who tries to think things through and is taking college classes early in life)
How will any of this possibly benefit me?
Actual responses other than kicking me when I'm already down would be nice.
Okay so here it goes:
There is this girl whom I have been friends with for several years now. We met at an athletic event. She was shy, blonde (not that I have a preference or am suggesting she is dumb), blue-eyed like myself, and talking TO ME. At first I was dumbstruck; fumbling for something to say. I mean at 15 everything is awkward, especially if it's with the opposite sex. I'm caught offgaurd but somehow by the end of the conversation I'm left with her phone# and email adress. I shouldn't be surprised. I mean you would think I wouldn't be since anyone that is close to me says that I indeed have an affinity for connecting with people on an undescribable level. So much so that babies stare and smile on a regular basis when I walk through the mall.
At first I thought I was just weird. Yes that is it there is something wrong with you that is why everyone gives you "The Look". But everyday I look in the mirror and say to myself (obviously not outloud) that I am normal; that this look is not the look reserved specifically for an atrosity. It is a curious almost endearingly- inviting- but- not -overly -exclamatory look. Then why? Why do I feel so distant?
Anyhow I called her, we became friends, there were good things, there were bad things, we became close friends. You know life: you think you are getting somewhere spiritually or what not. And suddenly I'm slowly beginning to realize that I'm always there for her. I mean she says it but I think nothing of it. I say to myself oh anyone would do that. But then I'm listening to 3hr. phone calls and helping her solve life problems and the list goes on.
Anyways one day we decide to date ( this was in between the good/bad things part). At first I tell her that I think its not such a good idea and that we should get to know each other better before we attempt it. But no she insists so I crumble and then I start to get used to the idea. Weeks pass and we break up. She's the one that ends it. Giving me the "Your right I'm moving too fast" we need to know each other better bullcrap. So I'm naive and buy into it.
Another years rolls by. By now we are close friends. However I'm starting to notice how increasingly common it is that she seems to not make much of an effort to ask about my emotions/ feelings. Then one day she asks me to go to this one place months in advance. Deep down I'm second guessing it she'll find someone else to accompany her I say to myself. But once again she insists that she wants me and only me to come with her on this outing.
With my hopes up and my worries eliminated I am shot down out of the wild blue because she calls me mininutes before I am about to leave to meet her to say that she decides it will be better for her not to go. BUT IT WAS A BIG DEAL!!! why is it not I big deal? she tells me to call her back Sunday like it never happened.
Needless to say I was mad. How could I be so naive? I am not naive? How could I be so short-sighted? I always look tot the future. How do I get past this feeling of betrayal and overall resentment of this girl for wasting my time (something I am sorely lacking)? Will this cycle ever be done repeating itself?
I'm a nice guy. 17 (vigin maybe) but that should just further solidfy that I'm a nice guy right? Oh but women don't like nice guys do they? Why am I typing a thread at 11:57 on a schoolnight? (Answer is becuz I won't wake up until 9 tomorrow because I am a hard worker who tries to think things through and is taking college classes early in life)
How will any of this possibly benefit me?
