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Don’t Quit Your Day Job (Another Comedy/Parody One-Shot starring… yes, TR)

Brian Random

I WAS FROZEN TODAY!!
Don’t Quit Your Day Job (Another Comedy/Parody One-Shot starring… yes, TR)

Don’t Quit Your Day Job (Another Comedy/Parody One-Shot starring… yes, TR) Rated U

Three figures were standing in their respective telephone boxes, reading through newspapers. Two were wearing agent uniforms while one was wearing… nothing. They were none other than Jessie, James and Meowth.

Ever since some twerp with a Pikachu came into their lives, they couldn’t steal a single pokemon to give to their boss. Running low on money, they had to settle for a second job.

At the same time, they found a job suitable for themselves, placed a coin in their respective phones and dialled the number of their found jobs. “Hello, I would to apply for the job,” they said in unison. They spoke into their respective phones, answering various questions.

“Do I have any children?” Meowth asked, repeating the question the person was asking him via phone.

“Yes, twenty three,” Jesse said, answering the question to her interviewer.

“What’s my favourite food?” James asked thinking of an answer.

“Oh, any type of pokemon is my favourite,” Jessie answered. “What was that? What was the last movie I’ve been in?”

“Doughnut Schmonut… um… Doughnut World,” James answered down his respective phone. “Er… Personal injuries?”

“I’ve been ran over by a horde of Tauros,” Meowth answered down his phone. “Flattened down by a Snorlax, zapped by a bunch of Pikachu…”

“What did Brian Powell say about my performance you ask?” Jessie asked, repeating what her interviewer said.

“Nothing much,” James said.

After much questioning and answering, the three agents came out of their respective phone boxes with happiness on their faces.

“I get to work at a doughnut shop!” James said gleefully.

“I get to work at the theatre!” Jessie exclaimed happily. “And I don’t need to audition!”

“I get to work as an advertiser for a diet program!” Meowth said happily.

“Wobbuffet!” a blue blob yelled behind their backs, scaring the wits out of them.

“You don’t have a job and you’re spoiling the moment, you jobless idiot! Return!” Jessie yelled angrily as she zapped him back into his pokeball.


The next day James and Jessie were inside the doughnut shop, gazing at the luxurious doughnuts that were behind a windscreen of the counter. “Look at these delicious doughnuts,” Jessie said dreamily while drooling. “Suppose if you put peanut butter in a jam doughnut, that would be something.”

“Oh, come now, Jessie,” James said, thinking that the idea was nonsense. “Peanut butter in a jam doughnut, it’s a silly idea to me.”

Before Jessie could say another word, someone else spoke as he got up from behind the counter. “Good morning, you two,” he said, surprising the purple haired duo. He was a skinny man who was wearing a catering uniform and a pair of glasses. It turned out that he was the manager of the doughnut shop. “I see that one of you is working and is also up bright and early.”

“Well, sir, I believe that my friend is ready for work and I’m here to help him,” Jessie said. “Plus, to get some free samples.”

“James has to work,” the manager said. “I’m afraid you have to leave until the shop’s open.”

“Hang on a minute!” Jessie yelled. “I’m a friend of your employee and I demand some free samples!”

She angrily looked around to see what she could take; she spotted a plateful of doughnuts and quickly grabbed it. “Excuse me,” the manager called. “Those are plastic doughnuts.”

“You can’t fool me!” Jessie yelled back as she stormed out of the shop carrying the doughnuts. When she got out, she took a bite and felt the hardness and tasted its horribleness. “Yuck!” she said. “He wasn’t lying!”


Back inside the doughnut shop, the manager was showing James around the shop. “And right here is the start button,” the manager told him, showing him the part of the machine. “We call it the start button cos when you push it, it starts.”

He pushed the button and explained to James that machine was starting to cook the doughnuts, filling it with jam in the process. “Jam?” James asked. “You ought to put in some peanut butter in there. Because of that, you could have the goodness of a peanut butter and jam sandwich in a doughnut.”

“A peanut butter and jam doughnut, now that’s not bad,” the manager said enthusiastically.

“How would you know? You haven’t tried it yet.”

“Of course, it’s simple… this could be big… this could be VERY big.”

“I think you’re missing the point here, I think they should be in a regular sized…”

“James, I think you’re on to something here,” the manager said as he picked up the cooked doughnut. He took a bite and began to munch it. As he did, he felt something hard moving in his mouth and it was hurting the inside of it.

He stuck his tongue out, revealing a small bottle cap on it. “I’m sorry, that’s mine,” James said apologetically as he removed the cap from the manager’s tongue. “I’m just gonna go…”

“Get to work,” the manager finished for him, feeling awkward as James walked away from him to start on his new job.


Elsewhere, not far from the doughnut shop, Meowth was dressed in a training outfit with a stall set up behind him, filled with dietary products. A crowd of people and pokemon gathered around him as he called for them enthusiastically to show them the products.

“Dat’s right, folks! Gather round!” he yelled enthusiastically into a microphone as he was holding up a carton of milkshake. “I have here a fat-free milkshake, suitable for all pokemon like myself. Once a pokemon drinks this, he’ll be so fit that he can battle a bunch of Tauros’s for a day or so without gettin’ tired. Any volunteers to try dis free sample?”

“You got some,” said a man in a deep, scratchy voice, catching everyone’s attention.

A tall and muscular man wearing black leather clothing stepped in front of the crowd, along with a huge green dinosaur, a poison drill pokemon known as Nidoking, a huge blue crocodile, a big blue dragon, a blue steel meteorite-like pokemon and a fiery red fighter. The man was known as Black Jack, known for his past battling style.

Meowth turned towards them with an anime sweatdrop on the back of his head. “Er… hi… big guys,” he said nervously as he looked at seven huge volunteers.

“The boys and I have been training a lot throughout our journey and never have we tried out your products,” Black Jack said. “Now don’t get me wrong, the boys and I are into fitness, we all want to be healthy, we want to be the first to try your product.”

“O… kay,” Meowth said nervously as he gave Black Jack the free carton. Nidoking raised his paw up, signalling that he wanted to be first to taste the milkshake. The other pokemon didn’t mind so Black Jack handed the milkshake over to the drill pokemon.

Nidoking opened the carton with his claw and drank some of the milkshake, tasting it. He nodded, signalling that he liked it and then drank some more. As the carton became half empty, he stopped drinking and felt some sort of energy surging inside him. “Nid Nidoking!” Nidoking growled loudly, which meant, “I feel bigger!”

“Ya look bigger!” Meowth cried happily.

Black Jack’s other pokemon wanted to have a taste but Nidoking quickly drank some more, showing that he was finishing off the drink. He stopped drinking and let out a loud roar, posing like a muscleman, impressing a lot of female pokemon.

“He said he feels stronger!” Meowth cried excitedly, translating what Nidoking said. “He looks stronger too!”

Nidoking finished off the rest of the drink, tossed the empty carton aside and slowly walked towards Meowth. “I told ya dis was good stuff! I told ya it would work!” Meowth yelled enthusiastically.

Nidoking slowly placed his paw on Meowth’s shoulder. “Nid Nidoking,” Nidoking growled in monstrous voice.

“You’re feeling more aggressive?” Meowth translated, suddenly becoming scared and puzzled as Nidoking glared maliciously at him in the face.

BAM!

Meowth was knocked so high up into the air. “No one told me about the side effects!” he yelled as he was sent flying into the sky until he was out of sight.


Meanwhile, at a theatre, there was a long cue of hungry, yet patient customers waiting at a food stand.

A man in a catering outfit was rushing around getting what his customers wanted and noticed that another person, also in the same catering outfit, was sitting on a chair, reading a newspaper. “Hey! I thought you were going to help me out,” the man complained.

The person lowered the newspaper, showing a familiar face… and a familiar long dark purple hair. That woman was none other that Jessie. Apparently, she thought that she got a job as an actress but it turned out she only got the job as a caterer. “What do you want?” she moaned.

“Your job is to sell snacks around and you haven’t sold one all day,” the man complained.

“Oh, alright then,” Jessie moaned as she tossed the newspaper aside. She got to the counter and looked at the customer in front of her. It turned out to be a little yellow mouse with a nametag signed ‘Jerry’ attached to his neck collar, holding a twenty dollar bill.

“Pichu pichu,” the little pichu squeaked as he pointed towards one of the hotdogs.

“Hotdog?” Jessie said, understanding what the Pichu wanted. “Hotdog coming up.”

She walked over to the hotdog cooker, took the food and placed it in front of him. “Okay,” she said as she pressed a number of buttons on the till. “That comes up to…”

“Pichu pichu,” Pichu squeaked suddenly as he pointed towards one of the apples pies behind her. Jessie rolled her eyes with a tut as she walked over to the pie stand to get one of the pies and brought it to him.

As she began working at the till again, Pichu suddenly pointed to a small plate of nachos. Jessie began to gnarl her teeth in frustration as she walked over to the far left of the stand and grabbed the small plate of them, bringing it to Pichu.

Each time Jessie was about to use the till, Pichu would suddenly squeak and point towards a different snack. And each time he did that, Jessie’s gets angrier.

It was some time until Pichu finally paid for the bunch of food he ordered. Jessie sighed with relive as she typed in various keys to open the till, but instead of placing the money inside it, she placed it inside her pocket instead, making sure that no one was looking.

As she closed the till, Pichu squeaked, catching Jessie’s attention again. This time, he pointed towards a ketchup bottle, which was quite near him. Jessie’s clenched fist shook as her temperament reached boiling point. “So, you want ketchup, huh?” Jessie asked in a false playful tone. Pichu nodded in response.

Jessie quickly grabbed the bottle and squirted the ketchup right in Pichu’s face, much to everyone’s shock. “Hey! You can’t do that!” the caterer yelled while Pichu picked up a tissue to wipe his face with. “He’s just a…”

“I don’t care!” Jessie snarled as she got herself some cold drink. “He’s been annoying me all this time!”

“What’s your problem, lady?” the customer asked, not pleased with her attitude. “That was a Pichu,”

Jessie drank a mouthful of the drink and then spat it right in the customer’s face. “That does it!” the customer yelled as he walked away, now soaked with the drink. “I’m going to that doughnut shop! I heard they’re selling peanut butter and jam doughnuts!”

“Peanut butter and jam!” Jessie yelled in shock. “That’s my doughnut!”

She quickly ran out of the stand, making her way towards her partner’s workplace. As she stormed out, Pichu finished wiping off the ketchup on his face and started eating some of his snacks while having a devilish smile on his face.


Meanwhile at the doughnut shop, James was doing quite well in his job. As he finished serving another customer, he spotted five familiar figures coming into the shop, one of which was a Pikachu, and became shocked. He and his two partners in crime often referred to them as…

“The twerps!” he thought to himself. He quickly ducked down and got back up again wearing a false moustache and a pair of glasses on his face.

The four children and Pikachu, who was riding on his trainer’s shoulder, walked over to him. Before they could say anything, James quickly thought up a plan.

“Congratulations!” James yelled excitedly. “You five have won some free samples of our delicious doughnuts for being our millionth customer.”

“Hey,” the tallest one said. “I love the sound of that.”

James quickly and randomly picked up a lot of doughnuts and placed them in five separate paper bags, and then he handed them over to the ‘prize winners’. After the kids received their ‘prizes’ and saying their thanks they began to walk out. James picked up a big red button from behind the counter and pressed it, sounding an alarm.

“Thieves! Thieves!” he yelled. In no time a bunch of police officers ran and grabbed the kids, handcuffing them and taking them away.

“Hey! We’re innocent!” one of the kids yelled.

“Nobody takes anything from this shop!” James yelled as he took his moustache and glasses off.

“That’s good work, James,” said the manager from behind, surprising his employee. “Hiring you must be the best I have done in my whole life. And to add more to your good work and your invention on your new doughnut, here’s five hundred dollars. Congratulations.”

He handed him an envelope with the cash inside. “Oh… thank you,” James said happily.

“And I’ll give another five hundred when you come up with another new doughnut,” the manager announced to him as he walked away.

James was happily counting the money until he turned round and became face to face with the angry Jessie. “James…” she snarled. “Why did you steal my idea? My doughnut?”

“I didn’t mean to…” James replied in a scared tone.

“You never steal things without us and from us,” Jessie continued. “You said this to me once for what I did before and now I’m saying this to you for what you did… you disgraced the disgraceful Team Rocket!”

James’s lips began to wobble and cried some anime tears like baby. “I feel dirty,” James sobbed as he showed Jessie the envelope. “I got paid for it. You can have it.”

“What’s inside?” Jessie asked curiously as he looked inside the envelope. “Five hundred dollars?” he asked, suddenly being surprised.

“Yep,” James said. “My boss said that he’ll give another five hundred if I think of another one.”

“What?” Jessie said sounding more surprised.

“Now I’m going to tell him the truth. I’m a fraud.”

“Hold it there, hasty,” Jessie said, stopping him. “He said five hundred for each new doughnut, huh?”

James nodded in response. “Well, I’ll be here with Meowth when the store closes,” Jessie said evilly.

“Why?” James asked.

“Cos we’re going to make some new doughnuts! We’re going to be rich!” Jessie yelled excitedly.


It was hours since the shop closed and James, Jessie and Meowth were now covered with flour as they finished making their new made doughnuts. Despite their hard efforts each doughnut they tried, such as a salt-filled doughnut, an orange juice-filled doughnut and a mayonnaise-filled doughnut, didn’t suit their liking.

As they tried some more doughnuts, a small yellow mouse that was lurking in the shadows fiddled with the controls of the machine and then pressed the start button, starting up the machine. As the machine started up, it was shaking uncontrollably as it shot out huge numbers of doughnuts, much to Team Rocket’s shock.

“James! Turn it off!” Jessie yelled.

“I can’t!” James whimpered loudly. “It automatically turns itself off!”

Jessie looked around for a weapon and spotted a broomstick. She walked over to it, picked it up and then smashed it over the machine, only that action caused the machine to shoot out even more doughnuts.

“We gotta clean up dis mess!” Meowth yelled alarmingly as he and his two teammates were picking up the doughnuts as fast they could.

But that didn’t work as the whole room was getting filled with doughnuts, filling room up to their shoulders. “Now what?” Meowth moaned as he cried anime tears.

“We have to…” Jessie said before she was hit in face with one of the shot out doughnuts. “We have to eat our way out of this!”

“Pichu!” squeaked a voice catching the trio’s attention. They looked and saw a familiar baby mouse, standing on top of the machine, holding a big pie.

“You!” Jessie yelled, recognising him immediately. “What do you want this time? A doughnut!?”

Pichu responded by throwing the pie at her, making a big splat on her face. Pichu laughed at her and her two cohorts before running out of the scene by escaping into the backroom.

The manager came from another room and saw the doughnuts filling up room, much to his shock and dismay. “Hello, boss,” James cried loudly. “We’ve made the doughnuts that could us going for… the next twenty years.”

“James! You’re fired!” the manager yelled angrily.


A few days later after being fired from their 2nd jobs, Team Rocket, back in their usual uniforms, were walking along a road thinking of another plan to capture Pikachu after finding out that the twerps were released from prison. Jessie and Meowth were yards away from their cohort as they stopped and wait for him to catch up.

James, pulling along a number of trolleys filled with doughnuts that shot out from the uncontrolled machine, finally caught up with them. “What’s taking you so long?” Jessie asked.

“Can’t you see those trolleys?” James complained breathlessly as he pointed at them. “I also got a stomach ache from eating those doughnuts!”

“Ya don’t have to eat them all at once,” Meowth said, which made a blue blob pokemon appear out of nowhere, yelling out his name while putting a paw on his head in a saluting manner.

“I’m not eating them all at once,” James said while Jessie let out a small sigh as she zapped Wobbuffet into his pokeball. “I’m eating them one at a time. I only got four thousand seven hundred and three more to go.”

“You know, boys,” Jessie said smugly. “I got an idea of how we can get rid of these doughnuts AND catch Pikachu at the same time.”

“Oh, not now, Jessie,” James moaned.

“We need an anti-electric rope, some electric proof gloves, a shook proof cage and we need to fool the twerps to meet us at an airport,” Jessie said enthusiastically. “Now, come on, Laurel and Hardy,” she finished as she quickly walked away.

“Jessie!” James yelled. “I need some help pulling these trolleys!”

“We don’t know where the nearest airport is!” Meowth yelled towards her.

“We don’t have any money to buy those equipment!” James yelled.

They both gave yelling to her as she was too far away from and that she wouldn’t listen anyway. “Oh, here we goes,” they said in unison.

“Wobuffet!!” yelled a voice from afar as Meowth and James began pulling the doughnut filled trolleys. Despite their efforts it was just as useless as James doing this alone.

END!


As usual, I’ve made another parody version of some of my favourite comedy/entertainment shows. If you can guess the main parody, you get a jarful of cookies. There are some bits that may remind you of other shows, get those right and you can get some big ones. If you don’t… you won’t.
 
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Wes

Iblis Wings
You took the doughnut idea from Kenan and Kel didn't you? I saw an episode where Kel did exactly well mostly what James did...then again it was a parody...aw that Jerry just loves to torment Team Rocket doesn't he? ^_^. Overall pretty funny indeed.
 
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FlamingRuby

The magic of Pokemon
::cleans Diet Coke from desk::

You've succeeded in making me lose my drink again!

Description: Nice, as always!
Characters: Good, you didn't forget Jerry!
Plot: I liked the reference to "The Untalented Team Rocket"

Chu-o-meter: ;026;

Another masterpiece from the King of Comedy!
 

Sike Saner

Peace to the Mountain
“Do I have any children?” Meowth asked, repeating the question the person was asking him via phone.

“Yes, twenty three,” Jesse said, answering the question to her interviewer.

“What’s my favourite food?” James asked thinking of an answer.

“Oh, any type of pokemon is my favourite,” Jessie answered. “What was that? What was the last movie I’ve been in?”

“Doughnut Schmonut… um… Doughnut World,” James answered down his respective phone. “Er… Personal injuries?”

“I’ve been ran over by a horde of Tauros,” Meowth answered down his phone. “Flattened down by a Snorlax, zapped by a bunch of Pikachu…”

“What did Brian Powell say about my performance you ask?” Jessie asked, repeating what her interviewer said.

“Nothing much,” James said.

^_^ I liked that. Reminds me of changing the channels, trying to get dialogue from different shows to string together in weird and hilarious ways, which is lots of fun to do.

Pichu responded by throwing the pie at her, making big splat on her face.

XP Yes! Yes! You know that's what I like to see! Hooray!

To make a story revolving so heavily around DOUGHNUTS...*snort* Come on, you know that's great. Doughnuts rank very high in the Court of Funny Foods (Fourth behind bananas, pie, and cheese.). That's just terrific.

..."Doughnut Schmonut". XP
 

Felix Feral Fezirix

Densetsu no Pikachu!
*Suffocates from laughing too much and returns as a zombie* That had to be one of the funniest things I've ever read. The funniest part goes to Ash and Co. getting arrested. I think I nearly died laughing right then. Great one shot.
 

Brian Random

I WAS FROZEN TODAY!!
Wes: Congrats, Wes. You got the jarful of cookies *Gives* Yep, I love writing Jerry.

FlamingRuby: The eerie thing is when I write these comedy one-shots I hear things inside my head that a bunch people chanting 'Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!' I just can't help but put him in. Thanks for the Raichu *Hugs it*. Hmmm... soft.

Sike Saner: I had a little trouble writing the beginning bit but in the end, it was quite amusing. The pie bit, you were waiting for that one weren't you? And doughnuts... *remembers one particular Simpson's bit* Is there anything they can't do?

Matellic Mantis: Thanks. You like Black Jack, huh?

Felix: Mate, Halloween's over. If you think that's funny, check out the main fic I'm writing at the moment and my other comedy one-shots in the completed fics... and some of Wes's.
 
LOL! THE King of Comedy strikes again!

Now, despite the grammer mistakes, this was really funny.

I loved how they were answering the questionare over the phone. Though I have one thing to say about what James did to "the twerps"...

*takes out a bat and continuously hits James with it*

I know many hate Ash & Co, but I happen to like them, and I punish all who do bad things to them.

As always, loved Jerry the Pichu.

Oh, speaking of which, I've got an idea for a new fic and I was just wondering if you would allow me to use your charcter.

Okay, here's the idea... [SPOIL]the fic is based off the latest Tom & Jerry movie, The Fast and the Furry. If you've never seen it, you really should. It's VERY hilarious. Here's the simple summary of the movie. Tom & Jerry get kicked out of the house, basically for destroying it. They soon learn about a reality TV show of a race where the grand prize is a free mansion. As the race goes on, it quickly turns into a cat vs. mouse race around the world that takes comedy to a new level. They race eachother from simple high speed cars all the way up to rocketships. Only one can win the grand prize. Who will it be? Tom? Jerry? I won't tell you. That would totally spoil it.[/SPOIL]

Well, will you let me use him or not?

It's all your choice in the end.

I await your answer.

Well, I've gotta go now. I'll see ya later. ^_^
 

Brian Random

I WAS FROZEN TODAY!!
FlamingRuby: How about not drinking when you're reading my fics. That way you don't have to clean up. But still, thumb's up.

Nekusagi: Thanks.

Pokeplayer984: Thanks, Poke. I did a some proofreading and I corrected those errors. You can't really blame James for hating Ash and others after what they did to him. *shrugs*

And the idea, you can borrow him but I would like to give you some of my ideas for that fic. I sent you a PM concerning that.
 
S

shinneymeowth001

Guest
I got to say, you are a genious! I love TR; they got me into pokemon! I read your one with Black Jack while TR was in lily cove and I loved it!


Brian Powell said:
Pichu responded by throwing the pie at her, making a big splat on her face. Pichu laughed at her and her two cohorts before running out of the scene by escaping into the backroom.

I loved that! you can't beat the classics!

you are the best!!! please, more!!!
 

Brian Random

I WAS FROZEN TODAY!!
Thanks, Shiny Meowth. I think I spotted a new fan. Don't worry, there's going to be more one-shots... one in particular will be coming this December. Look out for that!
 
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