Earth vs. Water:The 2nd Crisis

[Uchiha Itachi]

Ok,this is my first fic so be nice about it and give me advice for it when you think I need it.
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Prologue~

Twenty years after the first crisis, the first battle between Land and Sea was a catastrophe that left Sootopolis City an underground pit that was soon taken over by Team Aqua. Team Magma had a hideout in a cave way in Cinnabar Island. Team Magma had moved way out west in Kanto so that they could do their doings without Team Aqua in the way.

As for the Pokemon. After the big battle, Kyogre had moved to Kanto into Seafoam Cave, where it rested another 20 years until now. And Groudon rested in Origin Cave which was now attached to Ever Grande. And after Rayquaza had settled the two combatants, it retired back up to Sky Pillar. Jirachi slept on the summit of Mt. Pyre, watching over the Red and Blue orbs. And then Celebi rested in the enchanted forest near the time portal.

So now, Groudon was near Team Aqua and Kyogre was near Team Magma. But each team didn't have any interest in the legendary pokemon neighboring them. Aqua wanted Kyogre to expand seas and Magma wanted Groudon to expand land. But if they had the other pokemon on their side then they could could keep the other Pokemon away from the other team

===To Be Continued===

I will write more later,other chapters after the 2nd chapter will start to get longer since I have something planned for Chapters 1 and 2 that might be shorter.

-IU~

 

[Astinus]

I'm not going to make any assumptions about your plot, so I'm going to cough into my fist.

Okay, now for the mistakes. There were a lot, and I hope that you don't mind me pointing them out to you.

Epilogue~

You mean "Prologue" here. The prologue comes first, the epilogue last.

20 years after the first crisis

Write out numbers under 100. "Twenty."

Sootopolis City, Hoenn

While it seems like you were going for "city, state (if you live in USA), Hoenn is actually the region. Like if I were to say "Springfield, America," no one would know what I was talking about. So you should have it as:

Sootopolis City, in the Hoenn region

with out Team Aqua in the way.

Should be "without." Just one word.

As for the pokemon.

You should capitalize "Pokémon." It is a registered trademark. That's my opinion on it anyhow. Also, the sentence is a fragment. Try to combine it with the next sentence, or rewrite it to make it stand out on its own.

20 years

Again, the writing out of numbers. "Twenty."

Ever Grande,Hoenn.

Again, "Ever Grande City, in the Hoenn region."

another giant conflict between the two pokemon could take place.

Should be "Pokémon would."

That's it for mistakes. You're not doing too bad of a job. Really, description could be found more in your prologue. Like of the settings, the characters, etc. I'm waiting to see where you are going with this, plot-wise.

 

[Yami Ryu]

So now, Groudon was near Team Aqua and Kyogre was near Team Magma. But each team didn't have any interest in the legendary pokemon neighboring them. Aqua wanted Kyogre to expand seas and Magma wanted Groudon to expand land. This is when Team Magma would take Kyogre to Hoenn and trade with Team Aqua to get a Groudon. But in this trade, another giant conflict between the two pokemon could take place.

Ooookay. So lets see. They already know what could happen if the two legends run into one another again. They are arch rivals too, so. Why are they being buddy buddy nice all of a sudden? It'd make much more sense if TM and TA tried to trick the other for the legend they want, and only end up with empty pokeballs, or one gets the pokemon and the other gets nothing.

As I really don't see Team Magma and Team Aqua getting along well enough to hand over the destruction of what they love, over to the 'enemy' and would have expected Team Magma or Team Aqua to keeo Kyogre/Groudon away from the other team.