• Hey all, due to some issues ith some false DMCAs, we've had to censor a few things until the situation is resolved. Sorry for any inconvenience
  • Be sure to join the discussion on our discord at: Discord.gg/serebii
  • If you're still waiting for the e-mail, be sure to check your junk/spam e-mail folders

~Entity~ (one-shot)

StrayedBullet

OMFG................
I haven't posted the next chapter of The Heart of Desire as I have been working on this. Here is a one-shot I wrote, so please criticize, comment but NO SPAM!!!!!

PS: it is kinda short :D

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

~Entity~

Darkness…darkness, falling into unprecedented terror, so horrible you wish your body ceased to exist.

Your mind swirls with vivid images and memories, mixing together, blending into one unspeakable nightmare. A nightmare meant to kill…

Life passes slowly, the images of childhood passing frame by frame, a motion picture. The ups and lows. The good and bad. Everything passes slowly, time freezes. Forever.

And for that one moment, you hang there, your body suspended in the darkness, dangling over unforeseen dangers. In that one moment you watch your first memory…

He is but eight years old. Thick, white hair covers his head, his fringe hiding most of his eyes. But you remember them. They were blue, like yours. You both had the most beautiful cerulean blue eyes. They sparkled under the sun, under the moon. You were twins.

FLASH!

The memory disappears, and now a new frame. A new time. The boy is now ten. His hair has thinned out; his eyes are not concealed by it. You too have grown older; you have aged much quicker than he. You can see yourself running through the backyard, following the boy eagerly.

His name starts to come back into your mind…

You see a word fly past the screen at an amazing speed. You cannot catch it. You cannot remember the name. The name of the one you loved for so long…

Your tail wags eagerly, the cream fur sways from side to side. You are happy for a moment. Happier than ever before.

You run.

He begins to run as well, you chase each other round in circles, finally getting dizzy and falling to the ground. He laughs uncontrollably, while you lay there, gazing into his eyes, panting.

He crawls over on his hands and knees, and begins to rub the orange fur on your body. It feels so good. You almost feel as if you are there now. As if, somehow, time has stopped. And, for that moment, you can feel his hand slowly rubbing the thick, coarse orange fur on your body. It feels good, as if your greatest wish has been granted.

It has.

You could feel him rubbing you. It was surreal; you have not seen him for a while. You have only been in the darkness. You have seen black for so long, you are not used to the colour, the happiness. It feels as if you are alive, once again…

The memory disappears, gone in an instant. You didn’t even get to say goodbye to the young boy you once loved.

The young boy you still do love.

Now, another memory. You are both older, once again. He is now fifteen, in his teenage years.

You do not see him all the time, not as much as you used to. But still, you wait. Sitting behind the gate, wagging your tail, you wait for him to arrive home. In that moment when you see him step into the yard, you are overcome with happiness. You yelp and bark, hoping he will hear your cries of joy.

He does.

He runs to the gate, smiling at you. You can see him, looking through the gate. Then, the gate swings open.

You jump up on him, licking his face. He laughs, and wrestles you off.

It’s on.

You bark, and leap at him, almost knocking him over again. He gets up, and chases you around the yard. You run.

The memory goes… the words appear again, this time, slower.

You read…

S…

A…

M…

U…

E…

L…

Samuel.

That was his name. Samuel. You have remembered.

But it is too late now…

You have departed, floating in limbo, waiting for the decision to be made…

Will you go to heaven, or to hell?

You are an Arcanine.
You are an entity, waiting for the decision…

Suddenly, you rise. Higher and higher you go.

The decision has been made.

You are going off to heaven.

You manage one last smile, as an image of Samuel crosses past you again. It is the young Samuel, with his beautiful smile. You will always watch over him…

Always.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

-SB ;001;
 

Kutie Pie

"It is my destiny."
I am an Arcanine...Whoo! I'm teh fastest runner in my school!

Ahem, sorry 'bout that. Anyway, this was very sad. I thought this was about a human until I saw that 'licks his face' thing and I was like: 'Why would a twin human do THAT?!' And then I remembered the word 'tail'. And just to let you know, I get things mixed up every now and then.

And I wish I was a twin, but my brothers are luckier. >< DANG IT! But then again...YAY! NO SHARING BEDROOM! Okay, I'll stop. Well, this was a cute one-shot. And I'd choose heaven anyday. I WISH HELL FROZE! Then we'd be doomed...

Aw well. Good job, StrayedBullet. Boy, how long has this thread been nearly dead...?

~~~~~~~~
♥Kutie Pie♥ Please be kind to midgets!
 

IceKing

Sexorific!
Sorry if this review sucks, I'm not that good. It's pretty good I suppose, not too shabby. Second person is extremely difficult to pull off and you managed to pull it off.. Best way for you to improve your second person is by incorporating more emotions. The tone of the story was a sort of bittersweet sad, but I myself didn't feel my own heart saddening at the losing Samuel but I did feel the Growlithe's hard saddening. When writing second person, you want the reader to feel the pain. I'm not sure if second person is best with a pokemon... I wasn't too fond of the whole limbo deciding whethe rto go the heaven or hell, it needed to be described a bit more. Or even better, it should have been more mysterious to show how mysterious death is. Also, it might have been nice if you decscribed how he died like saying how that metallic beast with the shining yellow eyes is what sepearted them or something like that.

Well, it was pretty good, you will become better with practice.

6/10
 

StrayedBullet

OMFG................
lol its been dead for ages, neway thanks for the reviews!

-SB ;001;
 
Top