Psychic
Really and truly
Let’s go on an adventure in the region where it all began!
Below each section is a spoiler tag with the author's name; if you want to try to guess who wrote what, don't reveal the spoilers until you've made your guesses and then see how you did! The authors in the Kanto trainer fic Exquisite Corpse were (in random order):
Chibi Pika
JFought
bobandbill
Dramatic Melody
Poetry
The Teller
Mrs. Lovett
Negrek
JX Valentine
Dragonfree
katiekitten
wizpig1231
Feel free to comment on the resulting story, but keep in mind that critical reviews of the sort you might post on a regular fic don't really make sense here - this was a game, not a serious fanfic, so it's not the place for grammar or plot nitpicks! Now, without further ado!
*BLEEP! BLEEP! BLEEP! BLEEP! CLICK!*
Today was the day. Many children look forward to the tradition of going off on a Pokémon journey when they turn ten, and Rust was unsurprisingly no exception. His alarm clock was shut off in an instant, and he ran downstairs without even bothering to change out of his PJs. His mother awaited him at the bottom of the steps; she must have gotten up earlier to prepare breakfast.
“Good morning Rust!” she greeted. “I already- woah!” Rust was paying little mind to his mom, rushing past her to finish the pancakes she prepared. Those pancakes were the last obstacle separating Rust from his new journey, and he was going to make sure they pay with their implied lives for doing so.
“Rust! I know you’re excited, but that’s no excuse for pushing me around like that!” she scolded. Rust didn’t seem to hear. A sigh. “I’ll go get the presents…”
Rust had already vanquished the pancakes by the time his mother returned to the kitchen. She carried a singular box, which was large enough to hold… Rust couldn’t quite guess. “Well here it is.” she said as she placed it down. “How about you open it now? I know you want to go as soon as possible...”
Another obstacle! The world was cruel, to throw so many things in his way! Rust was sure to make quick work of the present’s outer defenses, before carefully pulling off the lid of the box underneath with the precision of a surgeon on a Monday morning. And at the center: clothes. And disappointment.
Rust’s mom began to justify herself; “I know you’re a big fan of Red, so I got you a jacket and a cap that look kinda similar to his. Why don’t you go try it on, and get dressed while you’re at it?”
Rust realized he was still wearing pajamas. A trivial matter, but the fact that his journey was to be delayed even longer still managed to strike a nerve. And so, he went back upstairs, put on a black shirt and the first pair of jeans he could grab from his dresser, came back downstairs, slipped the jacket on, and ended the run-on sentence by throwing the cap on his head with little care as to how it looked. Now he was ready.
But first, the obligatory goodbye to his mother. She embraced Rust and rested her head on his. “Oh, I promised myself I’d stay strong for you. But gosh, I didn’t realize it’d be so hard!” She squeezed Rust tighter. Would she ever let go? Yes, but she followed with “Oh! I almost forgot! Wait here, there’s one more thing.” Which meant that Rust must continue to wait. Might as well just break it to him that he was actually born a day later than he was told.
Rust’s mother returned with a blue bookbag. “There are some spare clothes in here, and I also packed a lunch for you. And in the side pocket here,” she then pointed to said side pocket. “Is some money for the road. Y’know, for souvenirs and stuff. Don’t worry about food or anything like that, you can get some for free at a Pokémon center as long as you show your Pokédex.” She paused for a bit, before handing the bag to Rust. Finally, she leaned down and kissed his forehead.
“Stay safe out there, okay?” She whispered softly. “I love you.”
And then Rust spoke for the first time all day: “I will, Mom.” He turned to leave, before calling back. “Oh, and I love you too!”
Now, after all that, it was time. Rust could see the Pokémon professor’s lab not too far off in the distance. No sign of his friend, maybe he could get there before her…
Nope. “Hey Rust!” a familiar voice sounded. “Wow, are you late or what?” Curse that woman with the inconveniently non-existent name! Mom clearly conspired with Azure to make sure she would get here before he did!
“Oh Rust! Glad you could make it!” The professor greeted. Professor Oak had clearly seen better days, but the youthful spirit that inspired his work was still just as strong as when Rust first met him.
Standing next to him, a Pokéball in her hand, was Azure. She was obnoxious, manipulative, and Rust’s best friend since pre-school. She was always the dominant one in their relationship, winning at everything she did whenever Rust was involved. It was as if Rust’s presence caused some inner prodigy to awaken inside her and absolutely crush anything that stood in her way.
“You lost the bet, y’know?” Azure said in her usual mocking tone. “You know what that means.”
“Azure? What’s going…” Oak started, and then paused, realizing it was best to not interfere.
Azure attached her Pokéball to her belt, and went to grab the two remaining Pokéballs from the table. “First to get here gets first dibs on their starter.” She held the two out for Rust to pick. “Loser picks one without knowing what’s inside.”
A fifty-percent chance of choosing a Pokémon with a type advantage over Azure’s. The same chance to choose one with a disadvantage. This was it. Rust considered his options carefully. He knew Azure. Her left hand seemed all too eager to relinquish its hold of the ball, which would mean her right should be the correct choice. But the right hand was closer to Rust, which should mean it was the wrong choice. Rust placed his hand over the right Pokéball. Azure gave a smirk. He switched to the left. The smirk turned to her trademark grin. He switched back over and snatched the Pokéball from her right hand.
“Go, whoever you are!” Rust called out as he summoned his very first Pokémon. The figure shaped itself into… a Bulbasaur.
“Yes!” Azure squealed in triumph. She threw the other ball behind her; a quick thinking assistant flung himself out of hiding to catch it. A thumbs up assured his victory.
“Come on out, Flannery!” Oh no. Rust picked wrong. Azure’s new Pokémon materialized in front of her to reveal a Charmander. Knowing Azure, though, the two options were probably both Bulbasaur.
“Well then, now that both of you have chosen-” Oak was cut off by Azure, who held her hand out behind her while keeping most of her focus on Rust.
“Hold it, Oldie!” she ordered. “Me and Rust are gonna have a battle!”
“O-oldie?” was all that poor Oak could manage.
“Malva, use Scratch!” Azure called out to her Charmander.
“Wait! I’m not ready yet!” Rust should’ve been prepared for this. He silently berated himself for not anticipating the inevitable. “Um, Bulbasaur, dodge it!”
But the sauropod, or whatever it was that Rust was taught a Bulbasaur was, could not keep up with Malva’s speed. The glowing white claws of the Charmander pierced his side. The attack didn’t seem to do all that much, but if this kept going…
“Keep going, Flint!” Azure ordered. Malva, who apparently was Flint now, nodded her (or his?) reply.
Rust began to think. A Bulbasaur starting out should know Tackle and Growl. Tackle does damage, and Growl lowers attack. Since Azure’s strategy is to keep attacking…
“Bulbasaur, try a Growl!”
“Dodge it, Blaine!”
The Charmander stopped its attack and looked back at its trainer. How do you dodge a sound? Meanwhile, Bulbasaur’s Growl attack went completely unnoticed.
Oh. That’s how.
The rest of the fight was a futile and embarrassing effort by Rust to stop Blaine’s(?) attacks. Bulbasaur eventually began to show very noticeable signs of weariness. There was only one thing left for Rust to do. He couldn’t have his journey be delayed by a fainted Pokémon.
“I forfeit.” Rust sighed in defeat before calling his equally disappointed Bulbasaur back. The beat up Pokémon, despite looking completely worn out, gave Rust an unforgettable look. A look that seemed to say, “I can do this!” But Rust couldn’t risk it. Not now, at least.
“Awesome! Good job, Chili!” Azure grabbed the very confused Charmander and began to do a victory dance with it. Poor thing. Azure eventually seemed to understand the look her Pokémon was giving her, gave a look of her own back, and recalled Chili back into his/her Pokéball. Her energy seemed to have been disturbed by that small moment, but it quickly came back in full force. She ran forward, grabbed one of the two Pokédex off the table, and ran off before anyone could do anything about it, calling “See you at the league, Rust!”
“Well.” Oak began. Rust had completely forgotten he was there. “She never changes, does she?”
“No…” Rust replied absentmindedly.
The professor gave a small chuckle. “Well I suppose that’s why we have these journeys. To learn more about yourself and Pokémon, so that you can come back all the wiser.” He shook his head. “But I’m getting off topic. If you want, Rust, you can switch over to Squirtle as your starter.”
Rust looked down at his Pokéball. Switching would give him the advantage over Azure. But…
“No. I think I’ll stick to my Bulbasaur.” The look on that Bulbasaur’s face when Rust recalled him was the face of someone who wanted to escape the confines of the lab and see the world. To experience the thrill of battle and climb their way to the top. Rust couldn’t switch now. He made his choice.
Oak smiled. “Good. I think you’ll make a wonderful trainer.” He left the topic at that. “Now, you probably know the drill by now.” He picked the remaining Pokédex off the counter behind him. “This is your Pokédex. In it is information about every known Pokémon out there. But to see that information, you have to go out and catch them all. There’s no fun in just having it all at your fingertips!” Another chuckle. “The Pokédex is also proof that you are an official Pokémon trainer now, so don’t lose it!”
Rust looked down at the red object in his hands. He’d need to register it later, but from now on, he was a Pokémon trainer. Rust looked back up at Oak. “Thank you very much, professor!”
Oak’s smile didn’t falter at all. And then it did. “Oh! I almost forgot! If you want to catch anything, you’ll need these.” Oak brought out a cardboard box from under his desk, and took out ten regular Pokéballs. “Five for you, and five for Azure, though you might want to leave now if you plan on catching up and delivering these to her.”
Current Location: Prof. Oak’s Lab, Pallet Town
Pokémon: Bulbasaur Lv. 5
Badges: 0
---
Like I had any chance at all of catching up with Azure, really. I could actually see her when I dashed out of the lab, way off in the distance kicking her way through the tall grass. But somehow she seemed to breeze along without any trouble, while Bulbasaur and I got jumped by what must have been every single rattata, pidgey, and confused diglett on the entire route. By the time the two of us staggered into Viridian City, Azure was long out of sight, and Bulbasaur and I desperately needed a break.
"Oh, Professor Oak's granddaughter?" the nurse at the Pokémon Center's counter said. "Sure, she was here maybe half an hour ago. Headed out towards Indigo, if I'm not mistaken, but she asked for a room for the night, so she'll be back."
She'd be back. I let myself relax a bit at that, and didn't go rushing out the instant the nurse handed Bulbasaur over. It was a bit silly to keep dashing after her like this, especially when she was the one who'd gone and left me behind--not that she realized I was going to end up a trainer today, of course. And she clearly didn't really need these five extra pokéballs, either, or she wouldn't have taken off to a new route already. I probably ought to take some time to get to grips with this whole idea of pokémon training myself.
There was a pond not far from the Pokémon Center, the centerpiece of what was almost a little park, a narrow scruff of grass and flowers punctuated by signs asking patrons not to feed the magikarp. I settled down right at the water's edge and gratefully tore off shoes and stifling socks. I stuck my legs in deep and swished them gently back and forth, enjoying the cool play of water between my toes. I let Bulbasaur out, too, just to see what it would do when there wasn't anything in front of it to beat up.
The grass-type wandered around a bit, sniffing at the ground, and ate a few violets off the stem. Then it came over and sat down next to me, closing its eyes and relaxing in the sun. I reached over and ran my fingers over its head. The skin was tough and rubbery, like what I thought you'd find on a rhinocerous or elephant, even though it looked smooth. Bulbasaur didn't complain about my fussing, but it didn't give any sign that it noticed when I stopped, either. After a couple minutes I left it alone, to photosynthesize or whatever it was doing.
I idly kicked a plume of water with one foot, letting it splash back down a second later. So if this was being a trainer, yeah, I could get used to it. All that battling, the badges, glory, whatever--but I had to admit, I was more in it for the lazy afternoons with no parents, no schoolwork, nothing to worry about besides when Azure would get back.
The Pokémon Center was doing a steady business, people coming and going in ones and twos and three, some anxious at a run, others meandering along, laughing and chatting with their friends or trying handle a gang of rowdy pokémon. The pond rippled with the bodies of the magikarp that were not to be fed, most of them keeping well away from the weird pale appendages I'd stuck into their home. Over on the far side of the pond, where the water was shaded by a cluster of dense reeds, I thought I caught sight of a poliwag lurking amidst a dense net of weeds.
Maybe I should make my first catch here? A water-type would go well with Bulbasaur, and it would give me something to use against Azure's charmander in particular. Honestly, if I hadn't been in such a rush to leave Pallet Town, I probably would have headed down to the shore to see what I could find there; a krabby or a horsea would have been a great first capture.
I was feeling too lazy, though, not ready to break the peace of the scene with a battle, until I caught the flash of gold in amongst the magikarp's rusty scales.
I sat up straight, peering hard into the middle of the school. I was sure I'd been imagining it--sure it was just a sunbeam that had hit one of the fish at just the right angle, made it sparkle brighter than the norm. The magikarp flitted to and fro at random, oblivious to my attention. And then there it was again--definitely golden, gleaming bright at the center of the fishy cloud.
"Bulbasaur. Hey." I poked the pokémon, and it grunted, blinking at me in obvious displeasure. "Sorry. But there's a rare pokémon here we've got to catch. You see that gold magikarp in there?"
Bulbasaur got back to its feet, stretched down and then way up with a creaky growl, then leaned forward and peered into the water.
"Can you reach it with your vines?"
Bulbasaur snorted something, and one vine snaked out, prodding the water delicately with its tip. Then Bulbasaur let it sink under, letting the vine play out slow and smooth so it crept across the pond's pebbly bottom towards the wheeling fish. Bulbasaur narrowed its eyes, sliding the vine ever closer to its quarry, and then the water exploded in a huge splash that sent magikarp darting in all directions.
Bulbasaur's vine came out of the water empty, and then whipped back down, sending up another huge plume of water. The grass-type struck and struck again, making no attempt at subtlety now that the magikarp were on their guard.
"Um," I said. Bulbasaur's vine sent a magikarp pinwheeling out of the water this time, but it was an ordinary red, and the grass-type let out a snarl of frustration. I watched the fish hop its way back to the pond, letting gasping and "karp"-ing all the way. Bulbasaur's vine slashed down again. "Hey, um. Why don't you... why don't you maybe give it a rest for a few minutes and try again once the magikarp calm down?"
Bulbasaur let out a battlecry and struck out again, and then again. By now I was pretty sure the magikarp were thoroughly traumatized and all hiding under rocks somewhere, but Bulbasaur let out another cry, one that I couldn't mistake for anything but joy, and this time I caught the flash of gold when its vine came whipping back to the surface.
I got about a second and a half for elation before Bulbasaur's vine snapped taut and dragged the grass-type face-first into the water. Then I was treated to a few more of dumbfounded shock before Bulbasaur broke the surface again, thrashing and wailing but still hanging grimly onto the magikarp. And after that, I decided I might as well just give up on staying dry.
The splash I made jumping in swamped Bulbasaur for a moment, but then I reached down and grabbed him and almost immediately got pulled under myself. I used to make fun of those magikarp fishermen, you know, but the fish on the other end of Bulbasaur's vine pulled hard.
"Throw it on the bank!" I gasped. "Quick! Get it out of the water!" I myself as firmly as I could against the bottom of the pond, Bulbasaur clutched against my chest. The grass-type growled and twisted around, bringing his vine around in a wide arc that sent the magikarp sailing up onto the grass.
"Okay good, good!" I yelled, and bonked Bulbasaur on the head with his pokéball. The magikarp flopped to the ground, and I chucked Bulbasaur's pokéball as close to it as I could. "Go! Tackle! Stop it from getting back in the water."
Bulbasaur was on the attack even as it materialized, leaping straight at the disoriented fish and knocking it farther up the slope. The margikarp let out one of those low, dull-sounding cries, then flipped up on its tail and lunged right back at Bulbasaur.
The grass-type managed to get out of the way, and the magikarp came down with an impact that I could feel in my gut. Wow. Okay, that settled it. I seriously needed that thing for my team. Bulbasaur smacked it down with another tackle, then yelped as it took a tail-slap to the face.
"Okay, back off, back off," I said, taking out one of my pokéballs. "Let me get a clear shot." There was still plenty of fight left in the magikarp, but I was honestly a little worried about how close the battle was looking. It should catch easy enough, even if it was unusually strong for its species.
I'd been expecting the magikarp to take that as an opening to skeddadle, or at least try to flop away from the ball, but it paid no attention at all to what I was doing, and Bulbasaur had to retreat even farther from one of those too-strong tackles. The pokéball smacked solidly against golden scales, and in a twitching minute the magikarp was mine.
I smiled and slogged my way back to shore, scooping the ball up and collapsing on the grass in a soggy heap. Magikarp. Not normally what I would have gone for, at least not starting out, but you couldn't just pass up a shiny pokémon, not even if it was one of the most common ones around.
Bulbasaur made a wheezy grunting noise. "Nice job," I said, but stopped just short of petting him, remembering at the last minute that he'd be bruising up from the magikarp's attacks. It felt a little silly to be potioning up with the Pokémon Center right there, but after that little bit of excitement I wasn't feeling inclined to move. Bulbasaur ducked its head against the spray, then shook itself off, sending droplets of water and potion alike spattering in all directions.
"How about we have proper introductions with your new teammate, huh?" I asked it as I flicked the magikarp's pokéball into the grass.
The fish reappeared lying on its side on the ground, mouth working industriously as it gulped air into its lungs. One pinprick pupil rotated around until it pointed my way. "Child!" it said. "Human child, you've defeated me!"
"Oh," I said. "No. No, no. Nope. Nuh-uh. Talking pokémon, not good."
"Time is short, and the road ahead long!" the fish continued while I fumbled with its pokéball, trying to find the "release" option on my pokédex. "We can afford no delay. I am Gl'blooplebloople, seventeenth of my line and the only one blessed with Ho-Oh's shine. I lie before you now as the Great Renewer's emissary. I come bearing a message."
"There, I released you. You can go now," I said. "Go find somebody else for your quest thing or whatever."
"Doom! Doom upon the world, the purifying fire returns! We must make haste, human child! We alone can turn aside the Great Renewer's fury!"
"Go on. Back to the water with you," I said, making scooping motions with my hands, trying to shoo it back into the pond. "Good fishy." It wouldn't budge.
"In the east, where the sunrise stains the water bloody, there we will find the Prophet of Stars' End. And from them we will learn what the next step on our quest must be."
Bulbasaur was watching the magikarp intently, fascinated by the weird sounds coming from the fish's mouth. It put out a querulous vine, reaching towards those glimmering golden scales. "Bulbasaur, don't touch that. It's got Destiny."
"As do you, human child. For the fact that we're speaking now must surely mean that it was the two of us meant to
"Yeah. Great. Good luck with that. Anyway, I'm gonna just... head this way, kind of. You know. Wild pokémon to beat, badges to get. Normal trainer stuff. Come on, Bulbasaur."
I hauled myself to my feet and started back towards the Pokémon Center at a trot, Bulbasaur tromping along beside. It kept looking back, though, and I could tell by the wet slapping noises that the crazy magikarp was still hot on our heels.
"Could you perhaps slow down? I'm afraid I can't move very quickly on land," the magikarp said.
Sounded like a good time to get running. "Return, Bulbasaur," I said, and got started just as soon as it had flashed into energy. I only made it about three steps, though, before something hit me between the shoulders like a gold-scaled sack of bricks.
"You're pretty strong," I wheezed once I was sure my teeth were actually intact, trying to get my eyes to focus properly on the magikarp that had landed a couple of feet from my face.
"Well, of course. We magikarp have always been the most powerful of fish," the magikarp said, completely without irony.
"Just exactly how long have you been hanging out in that pond?" I slowly pulled myself into a sitting position, wincing as I reached up to poke at my chin. Definitely scraped, and from the feel of it I'd gotten bits of gravel embedded in it. Hands, too. Hadn't even been five minutes, and this whole chosen business was already paying off.
"Not long. I awoke but a few days ago. I cannot say how long my slumber lasted, but when it began that pond was a basin before the mighty waterfall that marked the edge of the Great Renewer's domain. I fear something must have gone wrong, very wrong, for my awakening to have been so long overdue. We cannot waste any more time!"
"Look, Magikarp..."
"As I said earlier, my name is Gl'blooplebloople. The seventeenth, if you must."
"I am not calling you Gl'blooplebloople in public."
"Whyever not?"
"It's just, it's--here, listen. I know how this thing works, okay? Talking pokémon, legendary quest, all of that. I started this adventure so I could hang out with my friend and get out of Pallet Town for once. I didn't sign up for an epic adventure or danger or, you know, serious responsibility. I know how this ends. There's going to be violence, and death, and probably at least one city's going to catch on fire. Even if I manage whatever vague prophecy thing you're going on about, what am I going to have to live with afterwards? Get it? I never set off to be anybody special. I know, I was dumb to go after the shiny, that was just asking for trouble. But I never wanted any of this, and I still don't. So if you don't mind, could you please go back to your pond and wait for some other idiot to come along and catch you and let me get on with my life?"
The magikarp lay there in silence, regarding me with one large eye. "Really, now," Gl'blooplebloople said at last. "I had expected the human I found to be a little more enthusiastic about finding a god-touched magikarp who offered them the opportunity to save the world."
Current Location: Viridian City
Pokémon: Bulbasaur lv. 5, Shiny Magikarp lv. 5
Badges: 0
---
Instead, what I got was the interior of a strange plastic sphere. For a long time, my surroundings were pale and gray, and though I could hear the faint sounds of items shifting in the pocket I was in, rhythmic with the human’s footsteps, I had no idea where we were or where we were going.
This continued for some measure of time, during which the human sometimes made turns and stops, occasionally saying a few words to people I surmised he was running into along the way. At one point, I heard the zipper of my pocket opening and the human’s hand reach inside to pull something out. My capsule was rudely pushed aside, causing me to flop about, and a moment later the zipper closed.
“Bulbasaur, Go!” the human shouted, and I once again heard the familiar cry of the offensive sprout-backed creature.
A slew of battle sounds ensued, as the Bulbasaur and its opponent battled, finally resulting in what I inferred was a victory. Moments later, the zipper of my pocket opened again and the Bulbasaur’s capsule clattered back into place.
The human seemed to be in some sort of forest. I could tell by the sounds of tall grass swishing about his feet and from the spray-bottles that he deployed every minute or so. I am no stranger to spray bottles – trainers love to use them when they enter my domain of residence. But finally, at one point, my human seemed to run out, which elicited a disappointed sigh and a quickened pace.
But finally, minutes later, my moment came. My human once again stopped and entered a conversation with two others, reaching for the Bulbasaur’s capsule again. But the battle did not seem to go well, and a few moments later, the creature was returned. There was a pause, and the human took out mine. My plastic cage opened, revealing a thick, sunny forest, and I plopped down into soft grass.
My entry produced an instantaneous reaction.
“Ha ha ha!” came the laughs of two other humans. One of them pointed. “You think you’re going to beat me with a Magikarp?”
I began to thrash about, willing the forest to quake with the force of my ultimate rage. “Fools!” I shouted. “I am the Ruler of the seas! I will sweep down your pride with the force of a hundred waves!”
---
“Glub, glub glub…”
I felt my heart sink with dread as I watched my Magikarp flop pathetically in the grass. On land, the fascinating golden color of its scales looked sickly, and it was making noises that sounded like it was drowning. There was no way I was going to win…
Across from me, my opponent gave a command. “Charmander, use scratch!”
The Charmander lunged at my Magikarp and drew back a paw to slice at its skin. I closed my eyes, expecting the sound of claws tearing scales, but what I heard instead was a wet, resounding slap. I opened my eyes and looked up to see the Charmander staggering back, my Magikarp still flopping around where it was before. The Charmander lunged again, and then the unexpected happened -- my Magikarp heaved its body up into the air and slapped the Charmander across the face with its tail.
I held my breath. Each time the Charmander would lunge, my Magikarp would slap it back in an almost rhythmic sequence. Step, step… slap. Step step… slap. Finally, after an entire minute of this, the Charmander fainted.
My opponent’s jaw dropped. He recalled his pokemon and sent out another. ”Go, Rattata!”
The purple rat plopped down into the grass.
“Use Bite!” said the trainer.
The Rattata scampered forward, opening its jaws. Anticipating its attack, my Magikarp sprang up into the air again, and with surprisingly good timing, delivered a smack that hit the Rattata head-on. The pokemon flew back like a purple ball, bounced in the grass and fell fainted.
The trainer recalled his last pokemon in dismay. His friend pushed himself forward. “No way!”
Both of them looked down at my Magikarp, which was still flopping about and making glub-glub noises with greater frequency than before.
“I’ll take that thing down!” the friend said. “Bulbasaur, go!”
My shoulders sank as the trainer sent out a creature identical to my Bulbasaur. If the Grass-type knew Razor Leaf, then I was done for.
The trainer pointed at my Magikarp. “Bulbasaur, use Razor Leaf!”
The Bulbasaur scampered a few feet forward and released a storm of tiny green leaves. They whipped through the air towards my Magikarp, who leaped into the air again, heaved his body around, and swiped his tail across the leaves just as they made contact. Each and every one of those leaves bounced off, as if his tail were made of solid gold armor, and sent back at the Bulbasaur at double the speed. The Bulbasaur gave a cry as they hit and fell down.
“No!” the trainer cried.
The Bulbasaur rose to its feet, shaken, but not yet fainted. The trainer ordered it to use Tackle, and as the Bulbasaur launched into a run, my Magikarp scooped up a bit of dirt from the ground with his tail and flicked it into the Bulbasaur’s eyes. The Bulbasaur skidded to a stop, crying and shaking its head in an attempt to dislodge the dirt. While it was busy, my Magikarp quickly flopped over to it and tail-slapped it across the face. This turned out to be the final blow. Moments later, the Bulbasaur collapsed, and the trainer was left empty-handed, glancing down at the pokemon that had just knocked out two teams.
Realizing my victory, I puffed out my chest and collected my Magikarp into my hands. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a League to win.”
Leaving the two trainers utterly perplexed, I went on.
In a matter of minutes, I reached the exit of the Viridian Forest and emerged into the sunlit streets of Pewter City. I healed my team of two at the Pokemon Center, bought some items, and walked straight into Brock’s Gym.
I saw the Gym Leader up on his pedestal and walked forward. There were some other trainers inside, battling against each other to practice before challenging Brock, but I walked right past them and ascended the steps to where the Gym Leader was standing.
The young man smiled and crossed his arms. “Are you sure you’re ready to face me?”
“I’m sure,” I said. Raising my miracle Magikarp high overhead, I raised my voice so that everyone else in Brock’s small Gym could hear me: “I will beat your entire team with this one pokemon!”
Current Location: Pewter City Gym
Pokémon: Bulbasaur lv. 5, Shiny Magikarp lv. 5
Badges: 0
---
“At least you got the confidence part down,” Brock said as he withdrew a Poké Ball from his pocket. “But let’s see if you can match it with your skill. Go, Geodude!”
Out came a round, rocky Pokémon with bulky arms, its huge eyes giving a glare as intense as its trainer’s. The atmosphere of the Gym had changed, and for the first time since I began my journey, I felt like it was going somewhere.
I focused my attention on Magikarp, who gave me her usual blank stare. This was it, my first gym battle. This was what all those days of training and traveling had led up to. This would be my first opportunity to prove to the world that my Magikarp, this magical catch that no salesman nor fisherman could ever match, this golden-scaled piece of perfection, would take me all the way to the top of the Indigo Plateau. I could see it now: Magikarp would steamroll every other Gym Leader’s team, her Tackle even stronger than a Snorlax’s Body Slam, her Flail more devastating than a Gyarados’s Hyper Beam, her Splash able to bring even a Dragonite to its knees. And I will be known in all of Kanto—no, in all of the world as the greatest trainer, the very best, and I will be able to achieve that with this one Magikarp. And no trainer or Pokémon will stand in our way, no one can stop our ascent to becoming the Champion, no one—
“If you’re done daydreaming,” Brock said with a cheeky grin, “you can send out your Magikarp so we can start our battle.”
Regaining my senses, I nodded and threw Magikarp onto the field. Determined to keep my word of beating his entire team with her, I shouted, “Magikarp, crush that Geodude with Tackle!”
Current Location: Pewter City Gym
Pokémon: Bulbasaur lv. 5, Shiny Magikarp lv. 5
Badges: 0
---
Her flopping grew stronger, transitioning from an ineffectual bounce to a full-on thrash. I clenched my fists and ground my heels into the gym floor. This was it. One way or another, this was going to be the move that finished Brock’s geodude. I knew it.
And then, my magikarp—my beautiful, golden magikarp—threw herself full-force into geodude’s face. Her forehead met his nose with a crack, and before I knew it, the geodude went flying. He wasn’t just knocked back a couple of inches, nor was he knocked back a few feet. No, when I say he went flying, I mean he went flying—as in, launched from his spot like a pop rocket, directly into his trainer’s face from halfway across the gym floor. And as Brock went down with a bloody spray, I stared in wide-eyed wonder at him, at his geodude, and then at my pokémon. Magikarp had gone back to flopping at my feet. Her large, vacant eye steadied itself on me as she opened and shut her mouth in desperation.
I might have said a few choice words that I can’t really repeat in polite company right then.
To be honest, I’m not sure if that win counted. For one, I didn’t take out all of Brock’s pokémon. Sure, Geodude was most definitely out cold, but Brock still had an onix most other trainers had to contend with. But after spending an afternoon in the hospital, getting the fragments of his nose set by a rather attractive nurse, his assistant gave me a badge and told me that if it kept me from coming back to finish the battle, I could consider this gym beaten. And as much as my mother had taught me to be an honorable person who finished what they started, I was certainly not going to argue against a practically free badge.
They seemed perfectly grateful for the fact that I’d accepted, in any case, and with that, they pointed me in the general direction of Cerulean City and told me to leave town and never set foot in Pewter again.
So I did. Leave town, I mean. I’d set foot in Pewter on one other occasion, but that’s unfortunately a story for another day.
That particular day, it was sunny, which was only relevant because I knew what was between Cerulean City and me.
“The Mt. Moon cave system,” I said. “You guys don’t know what’s in Mt. Moon, do you?”
Magikarp stared up at me from the fishing pail I was carrying her in as of now. Her eyes were just as blank as always, and she opened and closed her mouth slowly, which somehow only highlighted her vacant stare. Bulbasaur, meanwhile, was far too busy admiring the grass around us as we walked along Route 3. I couldn’t blame him. With the majesty of the mountain rising in front of us, the field was a little more attractive than usual. Besides, it was the first route we had come across that wasn’t infested with rattata.
I sighed. Even knowing that they weren’t listening to a word I said, I told them, “There’s only one way to get through Mt. Moon without nearly killing yourself climbing it: go through its cave system. Downside is, the cave system is a labyrinth full of zubat, more zubat, the occasional geodude, and just for a change of pace, what the Japanese call zubatto. You guys know what zubat are, right?”
Magikarp snapped her mouth a little higher, which I took to mean yes. Bulbasaur tore his eyes away from the grass just enough to **** his head at me. In response to that expression, I put Magikarp’s bucket down, pulled up my pant legs, and squatted beside my pokémon.
“Okay, for you, they’re flying-types,” I said. “Pretty serious ones capable of inducing confusion, too. They’re not stuff you want to be battling unless you and Magikarp are a little bit stronger and have a companion traveling with you.” I scratched my head and squinted at the grass. “If I recall correctly, Route 3’s got a few good candidates. Spearow’s a pretty hard-hitter and can shrug off a Leech Life or two, but the problem’s the geodude. But … there’re mankey and nidoran here too, and both of those can use fighting-type attacks, but they’re harder to find. They’re our best bet, though, so Bulbasaur, go in there and find me a mankey or nidoran, okay?”
Bulbasaur cocked his head a little more and croaked. At that, I frowned and sighed.
“You have no idea what either of those things are, do you?” I asked.
He croaked again, this time a little slower.
With another sigh, I rubbed the back of my neck. “Okay. Mankey are round, fluffy things with long limbs and pig noses. You’ll know what they are if they try to use Scratch on you. And nidoran are rabbit-like things covered with spikes. They come in two colors: purple and pink. I don’t care which you get; it’s just that the pink one hits harder than the purple one. Got it?”
For a third time, Bulbasaur croaked, drawing out that single noise as he tilted his head even more. And for the umpteenth time, I sighed as I let my head droop.
I was about to say something to the effect of “you have no idea what I’m talking about, do you?” when at my side, I heard a loud clatter. Looking up, I caught sight of Magikarp propelling herself into the field. Her fishy form was swallowed whole by the grass, but I could hear the sounds of her fins smacking against something that squealed back at her. It didn’t sound like a mankey or a nidoran, but no matter how much I tried to peer into the grass, I couldn’t make out what it actually was. I just knew I would probably have to catch it if I wanted another pokémon at all. So, with my eyes still on the grass, I plucked an empty poké ball out of my pocket, stood up, and waited.
Luckily for me, I didn’t have to wait long. After only a few seconds, something round and pink flew out of the grass, heading right at my face. On instinct—or, perhaps, memory of what happened to Brock—I flinched, throwing my hands up to block the projectile. The empty ball was still clutched firmly in one of my fists, so the second the marshmallowy object struck my hands, the device activated, sucking the pokémon in. There wasn’t even a moment in which it wiggled around in my hands or made me wait for that triumphant ping. It simply clicked and fell still.
And that was how I caught my third pokémon.
I blinked at the ball, uncertain for a moment as to what had just happened or what to do about it, but then, finally, I pulled out my pokédex and pointed it at the device.
“Please let it be mankey or nidoran,” I muttered. “Please, Arceus, let it be mankey or nidoran…”
“Jigglypuff,” the pokédex helpfully chimed, “the balloon pokémon. It captivates foes with its huge, round eyes, then lulls them to sleep by singing a soothing melody.”
I might have said several words I unfortunately cannot reprint in mixed company right then too.
By the time Magikarp flopped onto the road—or, more accurately, swam through the grass and fell unceremoniously onto the dirt with her fins paddling along the earth as if it was water—I had calmed down. Dropping back into a squat, I reached out to pet Magikarp.
“Okay, no big deal,” I said. “I’ll just have you go out and fight another one, okay?” I flashed the ball at Magikarp. “Just remember, round and pink is a jigglypuff, and I don’t want another jigglypuff, all right? Go after the fluffy, white, round monkey with long limbs or the pink or purple pokémon with long ears. I want a mankey or a nidoran, okay? Maaaankey or niiiiidooooraaaaan.”
Magikarp blinked lazily at me, then shuffled herself back around and hopped back into the grass. A few seconds later, a second jigglypuff shot over my head, and Magikarp flopped back in front of me. This time, her tail fin was wagging, and her mouth was somehow grinning—an impressive feat for a fish.
Unfortunately, I was too busy glancing from Magikarp to the unconscious jigglypuff and back with a slow, baffled gaze to applaud my pokémon’s skills.
“Um,” I finally said, “Magikarp? That’s not a mankey or a nidoran.”
She opened her mouth wide and snapped it shut at me. I had no idea what that was supposed to mean, but I imagined it was out of indignation.
With another sigh, I opened my mouth to explain to Magikarp what the difference between jigglypuff and everything else was, but before I could, I heard a high-pitched scream in the distance. Swiveling around, I found myself facing a young, female trainer … who was at least half a football field away from me.
“Eek!” she screamed. “Did you just touch me?!”
Current Location: Route 3
Pokémon: Bulbasaur lv. 5, Shiny Magikarp lv. 5, Jigglypuff lv. 5
Badges: 1
---
The main character (now named Red because the forumites are SO original) took out Bulbasaur's Poké Ball, anticipating a fight, but the Lass just whipped out her cell phone and started texting the local police about an attempted molestation. Sensing a battle he couldn't win (not one with just one badge on hand), Red took out a smoke bomb and threw it onto the ground, obscuring everything with a dense, thick fog. He took off running whilst the Lass was distracted.
Upon reaching the entrance to Mt. Moon, Red looked up in wonderment. The anime had done it no justice. The mountain was massive. It must be brimming with rare and adventurous Clefairies. At least one of them surely must want to accompany Red on his quest to become the number one Pokémon Master in the world (back when "the world" was restricted to just the Kanto region). Most certainly Red wouldn't be inundated with Zubats and Geodudes, the first of which could obviously only evolve once into a rather lame Pokémon, and the second of which required Red to be sociable in order to unlock its full potential. Red gleefully ran into the entrance.
Inside was pitch black. There were no holes in the ceiling, so there was no light shining through, and it appeared that no one bothered to civilize the place by stringing up some lights on the cavern walls so that people could see where they were going. Oh, if only there was a special Pokémon move that would remedy this situation! But alas, there was not, so Red had to continue bumping into everything as he made his way deeper into the cave.
Along the way, Red bumped into Bug Catcher Robbie. What kind of horrible parents would name their child Bug? The Robbies, that's who. Bug wanted to challenge Red to a battle and sent out a Caterpie. Red, thinking this was the perfect opportunity to grind some easy levels onto his new Shiny Magikarp so that it would evolve into a magnificent Red Gyarados all the sooner, sent out the aforementioned fish. There was a convenient puddle nearby and, as every Pokédex states is within Magikarp's nature, the fish naturally leapt into the puddle and started to splash around. Even though it was very dark in the cave, Red could still very visibly see his Shiny Magikarp start to change color. It wasn't evolution. Before Red's very eyes, he could see his Shiny Magikarp change from gold to red. The water was also changing to a reddish hue. It was all so clear now. Red had been sold a fake Shiny Magikarp for an exorbitant price! This rare Magikarp was not rare at all! It was merely painted gold! Only a fool could've fallen for such a scheme. Thoroughly embarrassed, Red abandoned the now-Non-Shiny Magikarp to the puddle, threw a wad of Poké Dollars at Bug, and stormed off in defeat.
Further on down the cave, Red found a wild Clefairy! What a miraculous find! Not wishing to risk having it run away, Red immediately chucked a Poké Ball at it. A random Zubat suddenly swooped in and intercepted it, being caught instead. The Clefairy escaped. Red got a headache.
Three more times Red found a wild Clefairy. What a wondrous event! And three more times, a wild Zubat interfered, becoming caught instead. They were all level 6. Red now had a full team! He should be feeling accomplished, but instead he merely felt like the world's most powerful Psyduck. His OCD kicked in and he felt a powerful urge to release his Jigglypuff so that he could play a dual-type run of Pokémon, with Poison-types being the common theme amongst his party members. He remembered the Nidorans he had come across before, and the Weedles (or were they Caterpies?). Powerful though his urge was, he resisted the notion trudged onward.
Red escaped the perilous Mt. Moon and only had four Zubats to show for it. Over the horizon, he could see Cerulean City. Looking downwards, Red could see that the path to Cerulean City was paved with many annoying Trainer battles. He would have none of it. Red sent out all four of his new Zubats and proceeded to have them lift him up and fly him over all the Trainers and right to the city gates. Upon entering the city, he was greeted with popping champagne bottles, confetti, hula girls, and celebratory music.
"Welcome!" said one of the girls. "You're the 1,000,001st visitor to Cerulean City!"
One of the other girls approached him.
"This is the city of mermaids!"
Current Location: Cerulean City
Pokémon: Bulbasaur lv. 6, Jigglypuff lv. 6, Zubat lv 6, Zubat lv 6, Zubat lv 6, Zubat lv 6
Badges: 1
(continued in next post)
Below each section is a spoiler tag with the author's name; if you want to try to guess who wrote what, don't reveal the spoilers until you've made your guesses and then see how you did! The authors in the Kanto trainer fic Exquisite Corpse were (in random order):
Chibi Pika
JFought
bobandbill
Dramatic Melody
Poetry
The Teller
Mrs. Lovett
Negrek
JX Valentine
Dragonfree
katiekitten
wizpig1231
Feel free to comment on the resulting story, but keep in mind that critical reviews of the sort you might post on a regular fic don't really make sense here - this was a game, not a serious fanfic, so it's not the place for grammar or plot nitpicks! Now, without further ado!
The Serebii Exquisite Corpse
Kanto Trainer Fic
Kanto Trainer Fic
*BLEEP! BLEEP! BLEEP! BLEEP! CLICK!*
Today was the day. Many children look forward to the tradition of going off on a Pokémon journey when they turn ten, and Rust was unsurprisingly no exception. His alarm clock was shut off in an instant, and he ran downstairs without even bothering to change out of his PJs. His mother awaited him at the bottom of the steps; she must have gotten up earlier to prepare breakfast.
“Good morning Rust!” she greeted. “I already- woah!” Rust was paying little mind to his mom, rushing past her to finish the pancakes she prepared. Those pancakes were the last obstacle separating Rust from his new journey, and he was going to make sure they pay with their implied lives for doing so.
“Rust! I know you’re excited, but that’s no excuse for pushing me around like that!” she scolded. Rust didn’t seem to hear. A sigh. “I’ll go get the presents…”
Rust had already vanquished the pancakes by the time his mother returned to the kitchen. She carried a singular box, which was large enough to hold… Rust couldn’t quite guess. “Well here it is.” she said as she placed it down. “How about you open it now? I know you want to go as soon as possible...”
Another obstacle! The world was cruel, to throw so many things in his way! Rust was sure to make quick work of the present’s outer defenses, before carefully pulling off the lid of the box underneath with the precision of a surgeon on a Monday morning. And at the center: clothes. And disappointment.
Rust’s mom began to justify herself; “I know you’re a big fan of Red, so I got you a jacket and a cap that look kinda similar to his. Why don’t you go try it on, and get dressed while you’re at it?”
Rust realized he was still wearing pajamas. A trivial matter, but the fact that his journey was to be delayed even longer still managed to strike a nerve. And so, he went back upstairs, put on a black shirt and the first pair of jeans he could grab from his dresser, came back downstairs, slipped the jacket on, and ended the run-on sentence by throwing the cap on his head with little care as to how it looked. Now he was ready.
But first, the obligatory goodbye to his mother. She embraced Rust and rested her head on his. “Oh, I promised myself I’d stay strong for you. But gosh, I didn’t realize it’d be so hard!” She squeezed Rust tighter. Would she ever let go? Yes, but she followed with “Oh! I almost forgot! Wait here, there’s one more thing.” Which meant that Rust must continue to wait. Might as well just break it to him that he was actually born a day later than he was told.
Rust’s mother returned with a blue bookbag. “There are some spare clothes in here, and I also packed a lunch for you. And in the side pocket here,” she then pointed to said side pocket. “Is some money for the road. Y’know, for souvenirs and stuff. Don’t worry about food or anything like that, you can get some for free at a Pokémon center as long as you show your Pokédex.” She paused for a bit, before handing the bag to Rust. Finally, she leaned down and kissed his forehead.
“Stay safe out there, okay?” She whispered softly. “I love you.”
And then Rust spoke for the first time all day: “I will, Mom.” He turned to leave, before calling back. “Oh, and I love you too!”
Now, after all that, it was time. Rust could see the Pokémon professor’s lab not too far off in the distance. No sign of his friend, maybe he could get there before her…
Nope. “Hey Rust!” a familiar voice sounded. “Wow, are you late or what?” Curse that woman with the inconveniently non-existent name! Mom clearly conspired with Azure to make sure she would get here before he did!
“Oh Rust! Glad you could make it!” The professor greeted. Professor Oak had clearly seen better days, but the youthful spirit that inspired his work was still just as strong as when Rust first met him.
Standing next to him, a Pokéball in her hand, was Azure. She was obnoxious, manipulative, and Rust’s best friend since pre-school. She was always the dominant one in their relationship, winning at everything she did whenever Rust was involved. It was as if Rust’s presence caused some inner prodigy to awaken inside her and absolutely crush anything that stood in her way.
“You lost the bet, y’know?” Azure said in her usual mocking tone. “You know what that means.”
“Azure? What’s going…” Oak started, and then paused, realizing it was best to not interfere.
Azure attached her Pokéball to her belt, and went to grab the two remaining Pokéballs from the table. “First to get here gets first dibs on their starter.” She held the two out for Rust to pick. “Loser picks one without knowing what’s inside.”
A fifty-percent chance of choosing a Pokémon with a type advantage over Azure’s. The same chance to choose one with a disadvantage. This was it. Rust considered his options carefully. He knew Azure. Her left hand seemed all too eager to relinquish its hold of the ball, which would mean her right should be the correct choice. But the right hand was closer to Rust, which should mean it was the wrong choice. Rust placed his hand over the right Pokéball. Azure gave a smirk. He switched to the left. The smirk turned to her trademark grin. He switched back over and snatched the Pokéball from her right hand.
“Go, whoever you are!” Rust called out as he summoned his very first Pokémon. The figure shaped itself into… a Bulbasaur.
“Yes!” Azure squealed in triumph. She threw the other ball behind her; a quick thinking assistant flung himself out of hiding to catch it. A thumbs up assured his victory.
“Come on out, Flannery!” Oh no. Rust picked wrong. Azure’s new Pokémon materialized in front of her to reveal a Charmander. Knowing Azure, though, the two options were probably both Bulbasaur.
“Well then, now that both of you have chosen-” Oak was cut off by Azure, who held her hand out behind her while keeping most of her focus on Rust.
“Hold it, Oldie!” she ordered. “Me and Rust are gonna have a battle!”
“O-oldie?” was all that poor Oak could manage.
“Malva, use Scratch!” Azure called out to her Charmander.
“Wait! I’m not ready yet!” Rust should’ve been prepared for this. He silently berated himself for not anticipating the inevitable. “Um, Bulbasaur, dodge it!”
But the sauropod, or whatever it was that Rust was taught a Bulbasaur was, could not keep up with Malva’s speed. The glowing white claws of the Charmander pierced his side. The attack didn’t seem to do all that much, but if this kept going…
“Keep going, Flint!” Azure ordered. Malva, who apparently was Flint now, nodded her (or his?) reply.
Rust began to think. A Bulbasaur starting out should know Tackle and Growl. Tackle does damage, and Growl lowers attack. Since Azure’s strategy is to keep attacking…
“Bulbasaur, try a Growl!”
“Dodge it, Blaine!”
The Charmander stopped its attack and looked back at its trainer. How do you dodge a sound? Meanwhile, Bulbasaur’s Growl attack went completely unnoticed.
Oh. That’s how.
The rest of the fight was a futile and embarrassing effort by Rust to stop Blaine’s(?) attacks. Bulbasaur eventually began to show very noticeable signs of weariness. There was only one thing left for Rust to do. He couldn’t have his journey be delayed by a fainted Pokémon.
“I forfeit.” Rust sighed in defeat before calling his equally disappointed Bulbasaur back. The beat up Pokémon, despite looking completely worn out, gave Rust an unforgettable look. A look that seemed to say, “I can do this!” But Rust couldn’t risk it. Not now, at least.
“Awesome! Good job, Chili!” Azure grabbed the very confused Charmander and began to do a victory dance with it. Poor thing. Azure eventually seemed to understand the look her Pokémon was giving her, gave a look of her own back, and recalled Chili back into his/her Pokéball. Her energy seemed to have been disturbed by that small moment, but it quickly came back in full force. She ran forward, grabbed one of the two Pokédex off the table, and ran off before anyone could do anything about it, calling “See you at the league, Rust!”
“Well.” Oak began. Rust had completely forgotten he was there. “She never changes, does she?”
“No…” Rust replied absentmindedly.
The professor gave a small chuckle. “Well I suppose that’s why we have these journeys. To learn more about yourself and Pokémon, so that you can come back all the wiser.” He shook his head. “But I’m getting off topic. If you want, Rust, you can switch over to Squirtle as your starter.”
Rust looked down at his Pokéball. Switching would give him the advantage over Azure. But…
“No. I think I’ll stick to my Bulbasaur.” The look on that Bulbasaur’s face when Rust recalled him was the face of someone who wanted to escape the confines of the lab and see the world. To experience the thrill of battle and climb their way to the top. Rust couldn’t switch now. He made his choice.
Oak smiled. “Good. I think you’ll make a wonderful trainer.” He left the topic at that. “Now, you probably know the drill by now.” He picked the remaining Pokédex off the counter behind him. “This is your Pokédex. In it is information about every known Pokémon out there. But to see that information, you have to go out and catch them all. There’s no fun in just having it all at your fingertips!” Another chuckle. “The Pokédex is also proof that you are an official Pokémon trainer now, so don’t lose it!”
Rust looked down at the red object in his hands. He’d need to register it later, but from now on, he was a Pokémon trainer. Rust looked back up at Oak. “Thank you very much, professor!”
Oak’s smile didn’t falter at all. And then it did. “Oh! I almost forgot! If you want to catch anything, you’ll need these.” Oak brought out a cardboard box from under his desk, and took out ten regular Pokéballs. “Five for you, and five for Azure, though you might want to leave now if you plan on catching up and delivering these to her.”
Current Location: Prof. Oak’s Lab, Pallet Town
Pokémon: Bulbasaur Lv. 5
Badges: 0
JFought
Like I had any chance at all of catching up with Azure, really. I could actually see her when I dashed out of the lab, way off in the distance kicking her way through the tall grass. But somehow she seemed to breeze along without any trouble, while Bulbasaur and I got jumped by what must have been every single rattata, pidgey, and confused diglett on the entire route. By the time the two of us staggered into Viridian City, Azure was long out of sight, and Bulbasaur and I desperately needed a break.
"Oh, Professor Oak's granddaughter?" the nurse at the Pokémon Center's counter said. "Sure, she was here maybe half an hour ago. Headed out towards Indigo, if I'm not mistaken, but she asked for a room for the night, so she'll be back."
She'd be back. I let myself relax a bit at that, and didn't go rushing out the instant the nurse handed Bulbasaur over. It was a bit silly to keep dashing after her like this, especially when she was the one who'd gone and left me behind--not that she realized I was going to end up a trainer today, of course. And she clearly didn't really need these five extra pokéballs, either, or she wouldn't have taken off to a new route already. I probably ought to take some time to get to grips with this whole idea of pokémon training myself.
There was a pond not far from the Pokémon Center, the centerpiece of what was almost a little park, a narrow scruff of grass and flowers punctuated by signs asking patrons not to feed the magikarp. I settled down right at the water's edge and gratefully tore off shoes and stifling socks. I stuck my legs in deep and swished them gently back and forth, enjoying the cool play of water between my toes. I let Bulbasaur out, too, just to see what it would do when there wasn't anything in front of it to beat up.
The grass-type wandered around a bit, sniffing at the ground, and ate a few violets off the stem. Then it came over and sat down next to me, closing its eyes and relaxing in the sun. I reached over and ran my fingers over its head. The skin was tough and rubbery, like what I thought you'd find on a rhinocerous or elephant, even though it looked smooth. Bulbasaur didn't complain about my fussing, but it didn't give any sign that it noticed when I stopped, either. After a couple minutes I left it alone, to photosynthesize or whatever it was doing.
I idly kicked a plume of water with one foot, letting it splash back down a second later. So if this was being a trainer, yeah, I could get used to it. All that battling, the badges, glory, whatever--but I had to admit, I was more in it for the lazy afternoons with no parents, no schoolwork, nothing to worry about besides when Azure would get back.
The Pokémon Center was doing a steady business, people coming and going in ones and twos and three, some anxious at a run, others meandering along, laughing and chatting with their friends or trying handle a gang of rowdy pokémon. The pond rippled with the bodies of the magikarp that were not to be fed, most of them keeping well away from the weird pale appendages I'd stuck into their home. Over on the far side of the pond, where the water was shaded by a cluster of dense reeds, I thought I caught sight of a poliwag lurking amidst a dense net of weeds.
Maybe I should make my first catch here? A water-type would go well with Bulbasaur, and it would give me something to use against Azure's charmander in particular. Honestly, if I hadn't been in such a rush to leave Pallet Town, I probably would have headed down to the shore to see what I could find there; a krabby or a horsea would have been a great first capture.
I was feeling too lazy, though, not ready to break the peace of the scene with a battle, until I caught the flash of gold in amongst the magikarp's rusty scales.
I sat up straight, peering hard into the middle of the school. I was sure I'd been imagining it--sure it was just a sunbeam that had hit one of the fish at just the right angle, made it sparkle brighter than the norm. The magikarp flitted to and fro at random, oblivious to my attention. And then there it was again--definitely golden, gleaming bright at the center of the fishy cloud.
"Bulbasaur. Hey." I poked the pokémon, and it grunted, blinking at me in obvious displeasure. "Sorry. But there's a rare pokémon here we've got to catch. You see that gold magikarp in there?"
Bulbasaur got back to its feet, stretched down and then way up with a creaky growl, then leaned forward and peered into the water.
"Can you reach it with your vines?"
Bulbasaur snorted something, and one vine snaked out, prodding the water delicately with its tip. Then Bulbasaur let it sink under, letting the vine play out slow and smooth so it crept across the pond's pebbly bottom towards the wheeling fish. Bulbasaur narrowed its eyes, sliding the vine ever closer to its quarry, and then the water exploded in a huge splash that sent magikarp darting in all directions.
Bulbasaur's vine came out of the water empty, and then whipped back down, sending up another huge plume of water. The grass-type struck and struck again, making no attempt at subtlety now that the magikarp were on their guard.
"Um," I said. Bulbasaur's vine sent a magikarp pinwheeling out of the water this time, but it was an ordinary red, and the grass-type let out a snarl of frustration. I watched the fish hop its way back to the pond, letting gasping and "karp"-ing all the way. Bulbasaur's vine slashed down again. "Hey, um. Why don't you... why don't you maybe give it a rest for a few minutes and try again once the magikarp calm down?"
Bulbasaur let out a battlecry and struck out again, and then again. By now I was pretty sure the magikarp were thoroughly traumatized and all hiding under rocks somewhere, but Bulbasaur let out another cry, one that I couldn't mistake for anything but joy, and this time I caught the flash of gold when its vine came whipping back to the surface.
I got about a second and a half for elation before Bulbasaur's vine snapped taut and dragged the grass-type face-first into the water. Then I was treated to a few more of dumbfounded shock before Bulbasaur broke the surface again, thrashing and wailing but still hanging grimly onto the magikarp. And after that, I decided I might as well just give up on staying dry.
The splash I made jumping in swamped Bulbasaur for a moment, but then I reached down and grabbed him and almost immediately got pulled under myself. I used to make fun of those magikarp fishermen, you know, but the fish on the other end of Bulbasaur's vine pulled hard.
"Throw it on the bank!" I gasped. "Quick! Get it out of the water!" I myself as firmly as I could against the bottom of the pond, Bulbasaur clutched against my chest. The grass-type growled and twisted around, bringing his vine around in a wide arc that sent the magikarp sailing up onto the grass.
"Okay good, good!" I yelled, and bonked Bulbasaur on the head with his pokéball. The magikarp flopped to the ground, and I chucked Bulbasaur's pokéball as close to it as I could. "Go! Tackle! Stop it from getting back in the water."
Bulbasaur was on the attack even as it materialized, leaping straight at the disoriented fish and knocking it farther up the slope. The margikarp let out one of those low, dull-sounding cries, then flipped up on its tail and lunged right back at Bulbasaur.
The grass-type managed to get out of the way, and the magikarp came down with an impact that I could feel in my gut. Wow. Okay, that settled it. I seriously needed that thing for my team. Bulbasaur smacked it down with another tackle, then yelped as it took a tail-slap to the face.
"Okay, back off, back off," I said, taking out one of my pokéballs. "Let me get a clear shot." There was still plenty of fight left in the magikarp, but I was honestly a little worried about how close the battle was looking. It should catch easy enough, even if it was unusually strong for its species.
I'd been expecting the magikarp to take that as an opening to skeddadle, or at least try to flop away from the ball, but it paid no attention at all to what I was doing, and Bulbasaur had to retreat even farther from one of those too-strong tackles. The pokéball smacked solidly against golden scales, and in a twitching minute the magikarp was mine.
I smiled and slogged my way back to shore, scooping the ball up and collapsing on the grass in a soggy heap. Magikarp. Not normally what I would have gone for, at least not starting out, but you couldn't just pass up a shiny pokémon, not even if it was one of the most common ones around.
Bulbasaur made a wheezy grunting noise. "Nice job," I said, but stopped just short of petting him, remembering at the last minute that he'd be bruising up from the magikarp's attacks. It felt a little silly to be potioning up with the Pokémon Center right there, but after that little bit of excitement I wasn't feeling inclined to move. Bulbasaur ducked its head against the spray, then shook itself off, sending droplets of water and potion alike spattering in all directions.
"How about we have proper introductions with your new teammate, huh?" I asked it as I flicked the magikarp's pokéball into the grass.
The fish reappeared lying on its side on the ground, mouth working industriously as it gulped air into its lungs. One pinprick pupil rotated around until it pointed my way. "Child!" it said. "Human child, you've defeated me!"
"Oh," I said. "No. No, no. Nope. Nuh-uh. Talking pokémon, not good."
"Time is short, and the road ahead long!" the fish continued while I fumbled with its pokéball, trying to find the "release" option on my pokédex. "We can afford no delay. I am Gl'blooplebloople, seventeenth of my line and the only one blessed with Ho-Oh's shine. I lie before you now as the Great Renewer's emissary. I come bearing a message."
"There, I released you. You can go now," I said. "Go find somebody else for your quest thing or whatever."
"Doom! Doom upon the world, the purifying fire returns! We must make haste, human child! We alone can turn aside the Great Renewer's fury!"
"Go on. Back to the water with you," I said, making scooping motions with my hands, trying to shoo it back into the pond. "Good fishy." It wouldn't budge.
"In the east, where the sunrise stains the water bloody, there we will find the Prophet of Stars' End. And from them we will learn what the next step on our quest must be."
Bulbasaur was watching the magikarp intently, fascinated by the weird sounds coming from the fish's mouth. It put out a querulous vine, reaching towards those glimmering golden scales. "Bulbasaur, don't touch that. It's got Destiny."
"As do you, human child. For the fact that we're speaking now must surely mean that it was the two of us meant to
"Yeah. Great. Good luck with that. Anyway, I'm gonna just... head this way, kind of. You know. Wild pokémon to beat, badges to get. Normal trainer stuff. Come on, Bulbasaur."
I hauled myself to my feet and started back towards the Pokémon Center at a trot, Bulbasaur tromping along beside. It kept looking back, though, and I could tell by the wet slapping noises that the crazy magikarp was still hot on our heels.
"Could you perhaps slow down? I'm afraid I can't move very quickly on land," the magikarp said.
Sounded like a good time to get running. "Return, Bulbasaur," I said, and got started just as soon as it had flashed into energy. I only made it about three steps, though, before something hit me between the shoulders like a gold-scaled sack of bricks.
"You're pretty strong," I wheezed once I was sure my teeth were actually intact, trying to get my eyes to focus properly on the magikarp that had landed a couple of feet from my face.
"Well, of course. We magikarp have always been the most powerful of fish," the magikarp said, completely without irony.
"Just exactly how long have you been hanging out in that pond?" I slowly pulled myself into a sitting position, wincing as I reached up to poke at my chin. Definitely scraped, and from the feel of it I'd gotten bits of gravel embedded in it. Hands, too. Hadn't even been five minutes, and this whole chosen business was already paying off.
"Not long. I awoke but a few days ago. I cannot say how long my slumber lasted, but when it began that pond was a basin before the mighty waterfall that marked the edge of the Great Renewer's domain. I fear something must have gone wrong, very wrong, for my awakening to have been so long overdue. We cannot waste any more time!"
"Look, Magikarp..."
"As I said earlier, my name is Gl'blooplebloople. The seventeenth, if you must."
"I am not calling you Gl'blooplebloople in public."
"Whyever not?"
"It's just, it's--here, listen. I know how this thing works, okay? Talking pokémon, legendary quest, all of that. I started this adventure so I could hang out with my friend and get out of Pallet Town for once. I didn't sign up for an epic adventure or danger or, you know, serious responsibility. I know how this ends. There's going to be violence, and death, and probably at least one city's going to catch on fire. Even if I manage whatever vague prophecy thing you're going on about, what am I going to have to live with afterwards? Get it? I never set off to be anybody special. I know, I was dumb to go after the shiny, that was just asking for trouble. But I never wanted any of this, and I still don't. So if you don't mind, could you please go back to your pond and wait for some other idiot to come along and catch you and let me get on with my life?"
The magikarp lay there in silence, regarding me with one large eye. "Really, now," Gl'blooplebloople said at last. "I had expected the human I found to be a little more enthusiastic about finding a god-touched magikarp who offered them the opportunity to save the world."
Current Location: Viridian City
Pokémon: Bulbasaur lv. 5, Shiny Magikarp lv. 5
Badges: 0
Negrek
Instead, what I got was the interior of a strange plastic sphere. For a long time, my surroundings were pale and gray, and though I could hear the faint sounds of items shifting in the pocket I was in, rhythmic with the human’s footsteps, I had no idea where we were or where we were going.
This continued for some measure of time, during which the human sometimes made turns and stops, occasionally saying a few words to people I surmised he was running into along the way. At one point, I heard the zipper of my pocket opening and the human’s hand reach inside to pull something out. My capsule was rudely pushed aside, causing me to flop about, and a moment later the zipper closed.
“Bulbasaur, Go!” the human shouted, and I once again heard the familiar cry of the offensive sprout-backed creature.
A slew of battle sounds ensued, as the Bulbasaur and its opponent battled, finally resulting in what I inferred was a victory. Moments later, the zipper of my pocket opened again and the Bulbasaur’s capsule clattered back into place.
The human seemed to be in some sort of forest. I could tell by the sounds of tall grass swishing about his feet and from the spray-bottles that he deployed every minute or so. I am no stranger to spray bottles – trainers love to use them when they enter my domain of residence. But finally, at one point, my human seemed to run out, which elicited a disappointed sigh and a quickened pace.
But finally, minutes later, my moment came. My human once again stopped and entered a conversation with two others, reaching for the Bulbasaur’s capsule again. But the battle did not seem to go well, and a few moments later, the creature was returned. There was a pause, and the human took out mine. My plastic cage opened, revealing a thick, sunny forest, and I plopped down into soft grass.
My entry produced an instantaneous reaction.
“Ha ha ha!” came the laughs of two other humans. One of them pointed. “You think you’re going to beat me with a Magikarp?”
I began to thrash about, willing the forest to quake with the force of my ultimate rage. “Fools!” I shouted. “I am the Ruler of the seas! I will sweep down your pride with the force of a hundred waves!”
---
“Glub, glub glub…”
I felt my heart sink with dread as I watched my Magikarp flop pathetically in the grass. On land, the fascinating golden color of its scales looked sickly, and it was making noises that sounded like it was drowning. There was no way I was going to win…
Across from me, my opponent gave a command. “Charmander, use scratch!”
The Charmander lunged at my Magikarp and drew back a paw to slice at its skin. I closed my eyes, expecting the sound of claws tearing scales, but what I heard instead was a wet, resounding slap. I opened my eyes and looked up to see the Charmander staggering back, my Magikarp still flopping around where it was before. The Charmander lunged again, and then the unexpected happened -- my Magikarp heaved its body up into the air and slapped the Charmander across the face with its tail.
I held my breath. Each time the Charmander would lunge, my Magikarp would slap it back in an almost rhythmic sequence. Step, step… slap. Step step… slap. Finally, after an entire minute of this, the Charmander fainted.
My opponent’s jaw dropped. He recalled his pokemon and sent out another. ”Go, Rattata!”
The purple rat plopped down into the grass.
“Use Bite!” said the trainer.
The Rattata scampered forward, opening its jaws. Anticipating its attack, my Magikarp sprang up into the air again, and with surprisingly good timing, delivered a smack that hit the Rattata head-on. The pokemon flew back like a purple ball, bounced in the grass and fell fainted.
The trainer recalled his last pokemon in dismay. His friend pushed himself forward. “No way!”
Both of them looked down at my Magikarp, which was still flopping about and making glub-glub noises with greater frequency than before.
“I’ll take that thing down!” the friend said. “Bulbasaur, go!”
My shoulders sank as the trainer sent out a creature identical to my Bulbasaur. If the Grass-type knew Razor Leaf, then I was done for.
The trainer pointed at my Magikarp. “Bulbasaur, use Razor Leaf!”
The Bulbasaur scampered a few feet forward and released a storm of tiny green leaves. They whipped through the air towards my Magikarp, who leaped into the air again, heaved his body around, and swiped his tail across the leaves just as they made contact. Each and every one of those leaves bounced off, as if his tail were made of solid gold armor, and sent back at the Bulbasaur at double the speed. The Bulbasaur gave a cry as they hit and fell down.
“No!” the trainer cried.
The Bulbasaur rose to its feet, shaken, but not yet fainted. The trainer ordered it to use Tackle, and as the Bulbasaur launched into a run, my Magikarp scooped up a bit of dirt from the ground with his tail and flicked it into the Bulbasaur’s eyes. The Bulbasaur skidded to a stop, crying and shaking its head in an attempt to dislodge the dirt. While it was busy, my Magikarp quickly flopped over to it and tail-slapped it across the face. This turned out to be the final blow. Moments later, the Bulbasaur collapsed, and the trainer was left empty-handed, glancing down at the pokemon that had just knocked out two teams.
Realizing my victory, I puffed out my chest and collected my Magikarp into my hands. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a League to win.”
Leaving the two trainers utterly perplexed, I went on.
In a matter of minutes, I reached the exit of the Viridian Forest and emerged into the sunlit streets of Pewter City. I healed my team of two at the Pokemon Center, bought some items, and walked straight into Brock’s Gym.
I saw the Gym Leader up on his pedestal and walked forward. There were some other trainers inside, battling against each other to practice before challenging Brock, but I walked right past them and ascended the steps to where the Gym Leader was standing.
The young man smiled and crossed his arms. “Are you sure you’re ready to face me?”
“I’m sure,” I said. Raising my miracle Magikarp high overhead, I raised my voice so that everyone else in Brock’s small Gym could hear me: “I will beat your entire team with this one pokemon!”
Current Location: Pewter City Gym
Pokémon: Bulbasaur lv. 5, Shiny Magikarp lv. 5
Badges: 0
Mrs. Lovett
“At least you got the confidence part down,” Brock said as he withdrew a Poké Ball from his pocket. “But let’s see if you can match it with your skill. Go, Geodude!”
Out came a round, rocky Pokémon with bulky arms, its huge eyes giving a glare as intense as its trainer’s. The atmosphere of the Gym had changed, and for the first time since I began my journey, I felt like it was going somewhere.
I focused my attention on Magikarp, who gave me her usual blank stare. This was it, my first gym battle. This was what all those days of training and traveling had led up to. This would be my first opportunity to prove to the world that my Magikarp, this magical catch that no salesman nor fisherman could ever match, this golden-scaled piece of perfection, would take me all the way to the top of the Indigo Plateau. I could see it now: Magikarp would steamroll every other Gym Leader’s team, her Tackle even stronger than a Snorlax’s Body Slam, her Flail more devastating than a Gyarados’s Hyper Beam, her Splash able to bring even a Dragonite to its knees. And I will be known in all of Kanto—no, in all of the world as the greatest trainer, the very best, and I will be able to achieve that with this one Magikarp. And no trainer or Pokémon will stand in our way, no one can stop our ascent to becoming the Champion, no one—
“If you’re done daydreaming,” Brock said with a cheeky grin, “you can send out your Magikarp so we can start our battle.”
Regaining my senses, I nodded and threw Magikarp onto the field. Determined to keep my word of beating his entire team with her, I shouted, “Magikarp, crush that Geodude with Tackle!”
Current Location: Pewter City Gym
Pokémon: Bulbasaur lv. 5, Shiny Magikarp lv. 5
Badges: 0
Dramatic Melody
Her flopping grew stronger, transitioning from an ineffectual bounce to a full-on thrash. I clenched my fists and ground my heels into the gym floor. This was it. One way or another, this was going to be the move that finished Brock’s geodude. I knew it.
And then, my magikarp—my beautiful, golden magikarp—threw herself full-force into geodude’s face. Her forehead met his nose with a crack, and before I knew it, the geodude went flying. He wasn’t just knocked back a couple of inches, nor was he knocked back a few feet. No, when I say he went flying, I mean he went flying—as in, launched from his spot like a pop rocket, directly into his trainer’s face from halfway across the gym floor. And as Brock went down with a bloody spray, I stared in wide-eyed wonder at him, at his geodude, and then at my pokémon. Magikarp had gone back to flopping at my feet. Her large, vacant eye steadied itself on me as she opened and shut her mouth in desperation.
I might have said a few choice words that I can’t really repeat in polite company right then.
To be honest, I’m not sure if that win counted. For one, I didn’t take out all of Brock’s pokémon. Sure, Geodude was most definitely out cold, but Brock still had an onix most other trainers had to contend with. But after spending an afternoon in the hospital, getting the fragments of his nose set by a rather attractive nurse, his assistant gave me a badge and told me that if it kept me from coming back to finish the battle, I could consider this gym beaten. And as much as my mother had taught me to be an honorable person who finished what they started, I was certainly not going to argue against a practically free badge.
They seemed perfectly grateful for the fact that I’d accepted, in any case, and with that, they pointed me in the general direction of Cerulean City and told me to leave town and never set foot in Pewter again.
So I did. Leave town, I mean. I’d set foot in Pewter on one other occasion, but that’s unfortunately a story for another day.
That particular day, it was sunny, which was only relevant because I knew what was between Cerulean City and me.
“The Mt. Moon cave system,” I said. “You guys don’t know what’s in Mt. Moon, do you?”
Magikarp stared up at me from the fishing pail I was carrying her in as of now. Her eyes were just as blank as always, and she opened and closed her mouth slowly, which somehow only highlighted her vacant stare. Bulbasaur, meanwhile, was far too busy admiring the grass around us as we walked along Route 3. I couldn’t blame him. With the majesty of the mountain rising in front of us, the field was a little more attractive than usual. Besides, it was the first route we had come across that wasn’t infested with rattata.
I sighed. Even knowing that they weren’t listening to a word I said, I told them, “There’s only one way to get through Mt. Moon without nearly killing yourself climbing it: go through its cave system. Downside is, the cave system is a labyrinth full of zubat, more zubat, the occasional geodude, and just for a change of pace, what the Japanese call zubatto. You guys know what zubat are, right?”
Magikarp snapped her mouth a little higher, which I took to mean yes. Bulbasaur tore his eyes away from the grass just enough to **** his head at me. In response to that expression, I put Magikarp’s bucket down, pulled up my pant legs, and squatted beside my pokémon.
“Okay, for you, they’re flying-types,” I said. “Pretty serious ones capable of inducing confusion, too. They’re not stuff you want to be battling unless you and Magikarp are a little bit stronger and have a companion traveling with you.” I scratched my head and squinted at the grass. “If I recall correctly, Route 3’s got a few good candidates. Spearow’s a pretty hard-hitter and can shrug off a Leech Life or two, but the problem’s the geodude. But … there’re mankey and nidoran here too, and both of those can use fighting-type attacks, but they’re harder to find. They’re our best bet, though, so Bulbasaur, go in there and find me a mankey or nidoran, okay?”
Bulbasaur cocked his head a little more and croaked. At that, I frowned and sighed.
“You have no idea what either of those things are, do you?” I asked.
He croaked again, this time a little slower.
With another sigh, I rubbed the back of my neck. “Okay. Mankey are round, fluffy things with long limbs and pig noses. You’ll know what they are if they try to use Scratch on you. And nidoran are rabbit-like things covered with spikes. They come in two colors: purple and pink. I don’t care which you get; it’s just that the pink one hits harder than the purple one. Got it?”
For a third time, Bulbasaur croaked, drawing out that single noise as he tilted his head even more. And for the umpteenth time, I sighed as I let my head droop.
I was about to say something to the effect of “you have no idea what I’m talking about, do you?” when at my side, I heard a loud clatter. Looking up, I caught sight of Magikarp propelling herself into the field. Her fishy form was swallowed whole by the grass, but I could hear the sounds of her fins smacking against something that squealed back at her. It didn’t sound like a mankey or a nidoran, but no matter how much I tried to peer into the grass, I couldn’t make out what it actually was. I just knew I would probably have to catch it if I wanted another pokémon at all. So, with my eyes still on the grass, I plucked an empty poké ball out of my pocket, stood up, and waited.
Luckily for me, I didn’t have to wait long. After only a few seconds, something round and pink flew out of the grass, heading right at my face. On instinct—or, perhaps, memory of what happened to Brock—I flinched, throwing my hands up to block the projectile. The empty ball was still clutched firmly in one of my fists, so the second the marshmallowy object struck my hands, the device activated, sucking the pokémon in. There wasn’t even a moment in which it wiggled around in my hands or made me wait for that triumphant ping. It simply clicked and fell still.
And that was how I caught my third pokémon.
I blinked at the ball, uncertain for a moment as to what had just happened or what to do about it, but then, finally, I pulled out my pokédex and pointed it at the device.
“Please let it be mankey or nidoran,” I muttered. “Please, Arceus, let it be mankey or nidoran…”
“Jigglypuff,” the pokédex helpfully chimed, “the balloon pokémon. It captivates foes with its huge, round eyes, then lulls them to sleep by singing a soothing melody.”
I might have said several words I unfortunately cannot reprint in mixed company right then too.
By the time Magikarp flopped onto the road—or, more accurately, swam through the grass and fell unceremoniously onto the dirt with her fins paddling along the earth as if it was water—I had calmed down. Dropping back into a squat, I reached out to pet Magikarp.
“Okay, no big deal,” I said. “I’ll just have you go out and fight another one, okay?” I flashed the ball at Magikarp. “Just remember, round and pink is a jigglypuff, and I don’t want another jigglypuff, all right? Go after the fluffy, white, round monkey with long limbs or the pink or purple pokémon with long ears. I want a mankey or a nidoran, okay? Maaaankey or niiiiidooooraaaaan.”
Magikarp blinked lazily at me, then shuffled herself back around and hopped back into the grass. A few seconds later, a second jigglypuff shot over my head, and Magikarp flopped back in front of me. This time, her tail fin was wagging, and her mouth was somehow grinning—an impressive feat for a fish.
Unfortunately, I was too busy glancing from Magikarp to the unconscious jigglypuff and back with a slow, baffled gaze to applaud my pokémon’s skills.
“Um,” I finally said, “Magikarp? That’s not a mankey or a nidoran.”
She opened her mouth wide and snapped it shut at me. I had no idea what that was supposed to mean, but I imagined it was out of indignation.
With another sigh, I opened my mouth to explain to Magikarp what the difference between jigglypuff and everything else was, but before I could, I heard a high-pitched scream in the distance. Swiveling around, I found myself facing a young, female trainer … who was at least half a football field away from me.
“Eek!” she screamed. “Did you just touch me?!”
Current Location: Route 3
Pokémon: Bulbasaur lv. 5, Shiny Magikarp lv. 5, Jigglypuff lv. 5
Badges: 1
JX Valentine
The main character (now named Red because the forumites are SO original) took out Bulbasaur's Poké Ball, anticipating a fight, but the Lass just whipped out her cell phone and started texting the local police about an attempted molestation. Sensing a battle he couldn't win (not one with just one badge on hand), Red took out a smoke bomb and threw it onto the ground, obscuring everything with a dense, thick fog. He took off running whilst the Lass was distracted.
Upon reaching the entrance to Mt. Moon, Red looked up in wonderment. The anime had done it no justice. The mountain was massive. It must be brimming with rare and adventurous Clefairies. At least one of them surely must want to accompany Red on his quest to become the number one Pokémon Master in the world (back when "the world" was restricted to just the Kanto region). Most certainly Red wouldn't be inundated with Zubats and Geodudes, the first of which could obviously only evolve once into a rather lame Pokémon, and the second of which required Red to be sociable in order to unlock its full potential. Red gleefully ran into the entrance.
Inside was pitch black. There were no holes in the ceiling, so there was no light shining through, and it appeared that no one bothered to civilize the place by stringing up some lights on the cavern walls so that people could see where they were going. Oh, if only there was a special Pokémon move that would remedy this situation! But alas, there was not, so Red had to continue bumping into everything as he made his way deeper into the cave.
Along the way, Red bumped into Bug Catcher Robbie. What kind of horrible parents would name their child Bug? The Robbies, that's who. Bug wanted to challenge Red to a battle and sent out a Caterpie. Red, thinking this was the perfect opportunity to grind some easy levels onto his new Shiny Magikarp so that it would evolve into a magnificent Red Gyarados all the sooner, sent out the aforementioned fish. There was a convenient puddle nearby and, as every Pokédex states is within Magikarp's nature, the fish naturally leapt into the puddle and started to splash around. Even though it was very dark in the cave, Red could still very visibly see his Shiny Magikarp start to change color. It wasn't evolution. Before Red's very eyes, he could see his Shiny Magikarp change from gold to red. The water was also changing to a reddish hue. It was all so clear now. Red had been sold a fake Shiny Magikarp for an exorbitant price! This rare Magikarp was not rare at all! It was merely painted gold! Only a fool could've fallen for such a scheme. Thoroughly embarrassed, Red abandoned the now-Non-Shiny Magikarp to the puddle, threw a wad of Poké Dollars at Bug, and stormed off in defeat.
Further on down the cave, Red found a wild Clefairy! What a miraculous find! Not wishing to risk having it run away, Red immediately chucked a Poké Ball at it. A random Zubat suddenly swooped in and intercepted it, being caught instead. The Clefairy escaped. Red got a headache.
Three more times Red found a wild Clefairy. What a wondrous event! And three more times, a wild Zubat interfered, becoming caught instead. They were all level 6. Red now had a full team! He should be feeling accomplished, but instead he merely felt like the world's most powerful Psyduck. His OCD kicked in and he felt a powerful urge to release his Jigglypuff so that he could play a dual-type run of Pokémon, with Poison-types being the common theme amongst his party members. He remembered the Nidorans he had come across before, and the Weedles (or were they Caterpies?). Powerful though his urge was, he resisted the notion trudged onward.
Red escaped the perilous Mt. Moon and only had four Zubats to show for it. Over the horizon, he could see Cerulean City. Looking downwards, Red could see that the path to Cerulean City was paved with many annoying Trainer battles. He would have none of it. Red sent out all four of his new Zubats and proceeded to have them lift him up and fly him over all the Trainers and right to the city gates. Upon entering the city, he was greeted with popping champagne bottles, confetti, hula girls, and celebratory music.
"Welcome!" said one of the girls. "You're the 1,000,001st visitor to Cerulean City!"
One of the other girls approached him.
"This is the city of mermaids!"
Current Location: Cerulean City
Pokémon: Bulbasaur lv. 6, Jigglypuff lv. 6, Zubat lv 6, Zubat lv 6, Zubat lv 6, Zubat lv 6
Badges: 1
The Teller
(continued in next post)
