• We are currently experiencing a flood of requests from bots scraping the forums. Unfortunately it has gotten to the point where it is negatively impacting the site. As a result the forums may be slow and you may periodically experiance an error message. We are aware of the problem and apologize for the inconvenience.
  • Be sure to join the discussion on our discord at: Discord.gg/serebii
  • If you're still waiting for the e-mail, be sure to check your junk/spam e-mail folders

\\FÆBLE - Preview//

Luckmage

Boulder Trainer
\\FÆBLE - Preview//

...What can I say? Oh, yeah. xD -woozy headed tonight-

The following preview is for my new up and coming chaptered story, Fæble.

In the following...er...stuff, I shall attempt to summarise what stuffplottything/elements Faeble contains:

Note: It is not a Pokemon fanfic.

In my own words on another forum:

Hmm. You could say that Fæble is both made up of original and un-original elements. It's what you get when you run the following through a fruit blender: Bart's personality, the Egyptian gods, albeit more than a little twisted(xD), Philip Pullman's daemons from the His Dark Materials trilogy, and my own...."tweaking".

Un-original-elements: Based upon the Bartimaeus Trilogy by Jonathan Stroud, His Dark Materials by Philip Pullman and the Egyptian gods.

Original elements: Urm. Whatever I come up with that doesn't show up in other places or something? xD

Stuff: Of the fantasy/adventure/action genre.

Whatever. I shall post some choice parts of Faeble now. >.>;;; -really tired now-

The sun was a bleeding crimson outlined starkly against a descending, grey dusk. The wind howled a ghastly aria to withering skies. Sable rooks scaled the horizons, their wings carved sharp furrows through air; they wheeled and plunged in daredevilish flight. Above the keen of the gale and avian shrieks, distant wailing cries and lone redundant screams could be heard from the city of Canoli. Plumes of smudge grey smoke could also be seen, rising behind the stone walls of the immense capital. An acrid reek hung about the battlements in banners.

Sprinting across the Canoli Citizens’ Square, feline paws taking great leaps and bounds, I skittered away, escaping the fire. It spattered, crackled; I could almost feel it sizzling my pelt, could almost feel molten waves melting the grey cobbles. The smoke I inhaled with every breath was choking my lungs. But it wasn’t the flames and fumes that taxed me.

As fatigued as I felt, I still drearily wondered how to came to all this: A once-simple scheme, a bribery of power, three enchanted papyrus scrolls. A bet of gods: between my master, Seth the evil one, and Ra, the sovereign god.

That pact had been made was so long ago, that it seemed so totally alien to me. Like one of those quaint little fables grandparents would tell their pint-sized brethren. But still, I could recall…

"You caused it!" he bellowed, a surprisingly deafening voice erupting from that onyx beak, jabbing an accusing finger((large and beefy it was, with a stylish side helping of hair.))at my silky feline face.

"Caused what?" I returned coolly.

Yep, condescendingly witty and calm, that was me.

“And they say, the police say,” the pale faced woman piped up, her complexion suddenly darkening, “That he was murdered…”

With hefty puffs of exhuastion, she shoved the heavy table back into place.

She didn't really care if the Internet modem was in a highly undignified position now.

Not even if it stuck out like a baboon's behind.



--------------

Enjoy this rather...short preview...thing. xDDD Feel free to drop a comment or something.
 

katiekitten

The Compromise
XD

Brilliant. I can't wait to read it! I really like the clips.

And Egyptian gods = love. =D
 

Hahahabvc87

Always watching...
Pulling on ancient times in a modern world... Nice!

Well, the clips did give me a small glimpse of what you are capable of, and I must say that you sure know how to throw your words into place! Nice choice of words, deep vocabulary and smooth flow are present in all the clips, but I can't say much for the main fic unless I actually read it.

Not being a pokemon fanfic surprised me a little, seeing as the protagonist described seems to be a silky smooth cat with a cool demeanor, witty and calculating. Oh well, you know best what you are writing here, so I shan't try to sway you over. :p

Just two irregularities I want to point out:
"You caused it!" he bellowed, a surprisingly deafening voice erupting from that onyx beak, jabbing an accusing finger((large and beefy it was, with a stylish side helping of hair.))at my silky feline face.

"Caused what?" I returned coolly.

Yep, condescendingly witty and calm, that was me.
Double parentheses without spaces before or after them makes stuff look very cluttered, like a big chunk of words. Single ones are enough, don't go overboard with them. Even so, don't rely on them to insert additional information in since they tend to break the flow of the story.

Second, the title "Faeble". I know it's in the non-pokemon section, but don't you think it pulls too much on "Evolution of Fable" by Orange_Flaaffy?
 

Luckmage

Boulder Trainer
-glomps katiekitten- Whoo. Thanks for dropping by. ^^

Yeah, Egyptian gods are cool. ...Plus the fact that some of them gonna be rather...twisted in my story. xD;;

Originally posted by Hahahabvc87

Not being a pokemon fanfic surprised me a little, seeing as the protagonist described seems to be a silky smooth cat with a cool demeanor, witty and calculating. Oh well, you know best what you are writing here, so I shan't try to sway you over.

xD Well, there is a certain other 'fic that I'm planning, which is going to be Pokemon based. ...dfdgf. I think I have just condemned myself to a whole ton of frantic writing and trying to submit it by my personal deadlines. xD

Originally posted by Hahahabvc87

Double parentheses without spaces before or after them makes stuff look very cluttered, like a big chunk of words. Single ones are enough, don't go overboard with them. Even so, don't rely on them to insert additional information in since they tend to break the flow of the story.

I'll just make do with the single brackets then. I used to have "(( ))" quite often in the Prologue, but removed them due to reviewers' comments, since they didn't make the story flow very well.

Originally posted by Hahahabvc87

Second, the title "Faeble". I know it's in the non-pokemon section, but don't you think it pulls too much on "Evolution of Fable" by Orange_Flaaffy?

Hmm. That is a problem. -scratches head- But I dunno what title to use if "Faeble" is off. Maybe I'll have a bit of a think first.

Thanks for commenting too.

-scuttles away to check her thesaurus-

EDIT: I checked Thesaurus.com for other words which held the same meaning(sort of)as fable, and I think "Fabrication" or "Figment" sounds good.

So... Yeah. I'll use either, me thinks.

EDIT AGAIN: I'm going for "Figment" as an alternate title. xD
 
Last edited:
Top