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FaLLeN SanCTuarY

hydrasly

New Member
FaLLeN SanCTuarY



Prologue: Not So Quite Evil

A cold chill fell over the graveyard as a streak of lightning flew across the sky. In the distance a voice is heard saying, "I will take this world over before anyone can rise to stop me.


Meanwhile in kanto, a strange aura filled the sky, almost certainly seeking something. A skinny girl wearing a black shirt and blue jeans looked to the sky from atop Mount. Moon. A small dog-like animal jumped atop his shoulder. He turn to the Eevee and said, "It looks like he's started."

From somewhere down below her, all sorts of pokemon had started to rampage torward Pewter City. Leading them was a shadow-like form that appeared to be a legendary pokemon. The pokemon were almost to Pewter. Alex raised her hand and shouted at Eevee to use Earthquake. Suddenly the ground started to shake and a piece of rock shot up from the ground to block the enrage pokemon. As soon as the rock shot up the shadow disappeared. Alex raised a red and white orb and a new pokemon appeared. This pokemon was a giant bird called Pidgeot. Alex jumped on Pidgeot and told it to fly her to the cave on the Sevii Islands.

Later, when Alex arrived at her destination, she entered a hidden cave. In the middle of the cave was a rainbow colored orb. Alex crossed the room and picked up the orb. a voice shot through her head," I am the mighty Deoxys, you who seek the knowledge have found the keeper of the knowledge of the universe."

" Mighty Deoxys," said Alex," where will the monster that threatens to destroy the world appear next."

" This I do not completely know," said the voice," but I do know that he is in the Fallen Sanctuary, just north of the Indigo Plateau as you humans call the structure."

In the Fallen Sanctuary, Just to the north of the Indigo Plateau, a monsterous voice burst through the silence.

"WHERE IS SHE, I MUST KNOW."

A shadow loomed over the castle. The shadow stepped forward from the darkness. It was a jet black pokemon that looked like a human wtih blades all over its body.

"And thus my empire begins."

____________________________________________

My first start a a fic. I dont think the prologue is very good but the first chapter will take about a week.

comment it please!
 

nashie1

Well-Known Member
Did you type this in the reply box? It's a bit short but then again prologues can be hard to make long. There are bits where the spelling and grammer lead me to believe you typed it in the reply box in a hurry.

At least the plot doesn't seem to cliche at the moment.
 

Ling-Ling

Pokemon dressup
is this darkness pokemon Darkrai, it seems to match him except for the blades all over its body. that puzzles me
 

hydrasly

New Member
no its not darkrai, seeing as its been awhile since ive been here, and also that I know nothing of the D/P pokemon. I created it and will probably make a sprite to show you ehat it looks like
 

Cammi

fly away
Well, I like it!
It tidy, and I don't see any mistakes! (don't rely on my bad vision XD)
Punctuation is alright too, but like I said earlier, don't rely on me too much cuz im a comma freak when I write fanfics... And since I don't rely on my english either, I dont dare to post a fic here, thinking ill break a rule, LOL.

Anyways, its a lil short, but okay for a prologue. (atleast to me.)
Make sure your chapters are long enough and them post them once they are done and checked.
And don't make me wait longer! I found this fic really interesting! :D

See ya later

Lati~;380; ;482;
 
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