Fate and Destiny of Friends - AAML

[Water Spirit]

29/08/05:

OK, I decided that the first page needed editing since this thread is so big and there is perhaps some details that need to be added.

Firstly, hopefully this will help with navigation:

CONTENTS:​

Chapter 1 - Gonna See Ya Soon!
Chapter 2 - An Unexpected Reunion
Chapter 3 - Just Like Old Times...
Chapter 4 - Secret Suspicions Turn to ash...
Chapter 5 - Mystery Guest - Revealed
Chapter 6 - The Life of a Gym Leader
Chapter 7 - Familiarities With Art
Chapter 8 - Old Friends, A New Enemy?
Chapter 9 - Exploring the Unknown
Chapter 10 - A Gain Or a Loss?
Chapter 11 - A Life On The Line
Chapter 12 - A Turn For the Worse
Chapter 13 - Expect The Unexpected
Chapter 14 - Face Off (Part 1)
Chapter 15 - Face Off (Part 2)
Chapter 16 - Replaced and Resented
Chapter 17 - Secrets Revealed
Chapter 18 - Lost At Sea
Chapter 19 - Mixed Together
Chapter 20 - Education In Emotions - Past Loves
Chapter 21 - Attempting to Rekindle an Old Flame
Chapter 22 - Competition - In More Ways Than One
Chapter 23 - Undecided Couples
Chapter 24 - Twists and Tales
Chapter 25 - Faith and Trust
Chapter 26 - Battle For The Heart (Part 1)
Chapter 27 - Battle For The Heart (Part 2)
Chapter 28 - Hold Your Breath...
Chapter 29 - Let the Truth Be Told...
Chapter 30 - The Quest Begins...
Chapter 31 - (Release Date: 3rd June)
Chapter 32 - (Release Date: 10th June)


Also, I would like to take this time to thank everyone who has supported me throughout my time of writing Fate and Destiny of Friends and that I will always be grateful to them all for everything that they have done for me. You do not know how much your support means to me. Thank you. ~ Water Spirit

_________________________________

30/05/04:

Well this is my first ever fanfic and I hope you enjoy it. It's an AAML story that is closely related to the anime. It is based on my ideas of what I would like to happen before Ash gets his eighth badge(and maybe after depending how well this goes). So please don't confuse it for what is happening in the anime as these are only my ideas. Enjoy!

Chapter 1 - Gonna See Ya Soon!​

Hi Misty!

Hope you’re well coz I haven’t heard from you in a while and just wanted to let you know that I only have one more badge to go and then I’ll be on my way to the Houen League Championships! I’ve heard that the leader of Sootopolis is a water trainer; do you know anything about him? If not I'll speak to you soon and let you know how it goes.

Hope everything is well at the gym. Brock says to say Hi to your sisters and Max wants you to say Hi to Prof. Oak if you see him. Say Hi to Tracey for me! Oh and I hope you’re OK too!

Speak to ya soon!

Ash

Misty, a red-haired water pokemon trainer and one of the leaders of the Cerulean Gym, read her e-mail happily and clicked on the reply button. She was happy that her best friend could stay in contact with her even though they were so far away.

Hiya Ash!

I’ve been really busy teaching my sisters new techniques so that when we have new challengers they aren’t beaten so easily and humiliate me! Anyway, they seem to be getting better and are definitely paying more attention to their Pokemon rather than their looks!

I haven’t heard much about the water trainer in Sootopolis but my sisters say that his name is Wallace and he is very artistic. I’m sorry that’s all we know.

Everything’s OK here, hope you are all well. Say Hi to Brock, May, Max and Pikachu for me!

Speak to you soon

Love

Misty

She clicked on the send icon and was about to log off when a familiar window appeared stating that she had new mail. She read it over quickly and grinned to herself.

To the recipients of the Cerulean Gym,

Wallace of Sootopolis City has invited all recognised and official gym leaders that specialise in training water types to attend a demonstration of his techniques and skills. The event will take place next week on Thursday at 5pm.

If you are able to attend please reply to this message with a ‘YES’ or ‘NO’ and how many people will be attending.

Yours sincerely
Joe

(Apprentice of Wallace)

Misty jumped out of her seat and ran towards the pool where her sisters were practicing their battle skills.

“Dewgong! Like, use an aurora beam to like finish Lily off!” Daisy shouted across the pool.

The seal pokemon obeyed its master launched an aurora beam at Shellder who fainted after the impact and floated on the surface with swirls in its eyes.

“Shellder is unable to battle. Daisy and Dewgong win!” Violet shouted indicating towards Daisy.

Daisy started jumping up and down on her platform at her victory over her sister as Lily recalled Shellder. Dewgong swam up to her as she gave it a big hug.

“You totally did it Dewgong! I’m am like so proud of you!” Daisy said lovingly to it.

She stood up and pushed back her long, golden hair out of her face as her little redheaded sister approached her.

“Hey Misty! Did you see my awesome win over Lily?”

“Yeah, it was great!” Misty replied to her sister. “Listen I just checked my e-mails and I got one from Wallace saying that he’s holding a demonstration on his water techniques next week. Can I go?”

Daisy frowned at her as Violet and Lily started to walk towards them.

“Isn’t he in the Houen region?” Daisy asked

Misty looked confused. “Yeah.”

“The same place as your friends are travelling?” Violet asked

Misty looked towards her. “Yeah.”

Psyduck, Misty’s yellow duck pokemon, started randomly talking to itself while walking along the side of the pool. It looked at the four girls as it walked past, lost its footing and fell into the water. It splashed around helplessly and yelling at the top of its voice as Misty ran over and pulled it out. It sighed in her arms and started looking sorry for itself.

“Isn’t one of those friends of yours the one you like?” Lily questioned.

Misty froze and felt her face burn a blushing red with embarrassment and secrecy. She was grateful that she had her back to them. Psyduck looked up at her and grinned knowingly. It started sn iggering and Misty furiously threw it back into the water. It started panicking and splashing around.

“The one that you wouldn’t say who it was that Casey was talking about?”

Casey was a friend of Ash and Misty’s who was a huge supporter of the Electabuzz baseball team. She had visited the gym a while ago to try and get tickets to a game when she had found out that Misty liked someone.

“And then you go off to Houen for a couple of days and come back without saying why and no Togepi?” Lily continued.

Misty’s heart skipped a beat and her face fell. She missed Togepi terribly, – who had evolved into a Togetic when she had to leave it to guard the Mirage Kingdom. And she had left Ash. And Brock too.

When she had returned to the Gym, she had wanted to be alone. She had lost too much in one day and she had thought that the best place to be was away from everybody, but she knew that she had regretted making that decision as soon as she’d left. She knew that she couldn’t go back and say ‘Hi Ash! I’ve changed my mind, can I travel with you anyway?’ He’d probably say yes, but something held her back – something that she wanted to hide from him, something he shouldn’t know yet. She hadn’t found any opportunity or excuse to go after him but now she had the perfect one.

Misty…

She looked up over the pool.

“Ash?” she quietly whispered to herself.

“MISTY!” she quickly snapped out of her trance and turned towards her sisters who were screaming and pointing to the pool.

Psyduck had gone underwater and had blue lines running down his face (anime style). Misty gasped and dived in after it, still fully clothed. Her Gyarados saw her from the bottom of the pool and started swimming towards her and Psyduck. Misty grabbed Psyduck around the middle as Gyarados let her land on its eyebrow and it swam quickly to the surface. It roared and water flew everywhere, soaking Daisy, Lily and Violet.

Usually they would start complaining about their hair being ruined but they seemed to be more concerned about Psyduck. Misty jumped off Gyarados, thanked it and let Psyduck fall flat on its back and sprout out a fountain of water from its mouth.

“Is Psyduck OK?” Violet asked with concern.

Misty pulled her wet hair out of her ponytail.

“Yeah.” She said while wringing out hair tie.

Her short hair fell just above her shoulders and the dampness gave it an auburn glow. She took off her crop top and shorts to reveal a pink and yellow halter neck bikini. She left her hair tie on her wrist and looked at her sisters.

“So can I go to Wallace’s demonstration?”

“Misty, what do you wanna be?” Daisy asked her seriously.

“I wanna be a Water Pokemon Master! You know that!” Misty said angrily.

“Then why are you wasting your time at the gym when you could be travelling the regions and gaining more experience?”

Misty’s face fell. “Well… I’ve never been in charge of the gym before and it was a new experience. And when you came back, I didn’t know what to do because I liked being responsible for the gym. Then I went to Houen to find Ash and I wasn’t sure where I belonged. So I thought the best place to be was back home where I could start over and keep an eye on you guys. And look how much you’ve improved with my help!” She said brightly.

Daisy looked at her calmly. “Misty, we have improved, but there is only so much you can teach us. The rest we need to learn on our own. And you need to learn things on your own too. Like where you wanna be right now. You’re young and more experienced than any of us! But we love you and we want what’s best for you. You were always high-spirited when you were little and you were always roaming around where you shouldn’t have been. And now you have that opportunity to go where you want and you decided to stay here and not travel with your friends…”

“But they looked so happy together without me!” she shouted with tears in her eyes. “They’ve got new friends now and I don’t think they want me around! I’d just hold them back.”

Her sisters looked at her in shock but Violet smiled knowingly.

“You think that girlfriend-”

“He doesn’t have a girlfriend!” she shouted then covered her mouth with her hand in shock at what she’d just said.

“You think that girl that travels with him are fine without you? Because you were like the only girl and that’s how you see it should be. Just one girl in their group?” Violet continued softly.

Misty looked down at the floor.

“Can I go to Wallace’s demonstration or not?” she asked bitterly.

The three sisters looked at her apprehensively.

“Yeah, you can go.” Daisy sighed. “But just remember that there is no hurry to come back to the gym because we can now manage without you. And if we do need anything, then that hunky Tracey comes up to see us every other day!” she winked at Misty who smiled back.

“Are you guys gonna come?” she asked.

They smiled at her. “Nope. We are gonna stay here and make a huge reputation of not allowing anyone to beat us!” Violet said.

Misty looked over the pool. I’m gonna see Ash! She thought to herself.

Gyarados emerged from the pool and splashed her. She shielded herself and laughed at it. Then she dove neatly into the pool and grabbed its tail. Gyarados swam underneath her and launched a hydro pump, which sent Misty flying up to the surface and sitting on top of a huge fountain of water. She kept her balance as her sisters applauded her. She gasped.

“I need to reply to that e-mail!” she shouted.

The fountain vanished beneath her and without warning she hit the water – her arms and legs flying about to stop her. She surfaced as her sisters stood there laughing at her. She put on an angry pout and muttered to herself that she wouldn’t miss their taunting.

End of Chapter 1​

Well that’s Chapter 1! I know it’s a bit boring because nothing’s happened but there is a lot more to come! I’ve made this chapter a bit more of a mini Hoso episode and the rest should be closer to the anime.

I do like writing but I’m not to good at it so please feel free to comment your honest opinions and reviews! Any errors in spelling of characters or mispelt words or paragraphing mistakes please let me know.

Thankyou!

Water Spirit
XxX

 

[roodude15]

Very good story so far. It is descriptive and has a descent length. I don't see that many mistakes either. Just make sure that you skip a line whenevr your characters talk. Very good I will keep on reading.

~keep it up~

 

[WaterBlaster]

Wow! My hats off to you, Water Spirit! This is a wonderful way for a fanfic to start out! And if the rest of it is as good as this, well, then, you can count on me to read every single little word you ever write! This is exactly my favorite type of fanfiction! And that whole "Misty meeting Ash in the Water Pokémon Gym of Hoenn" is great! I've thought of that possibility for the anime. *crosses fingers* I still hope it'll come true!
Anyway, I thought this was hilarious:

(Daisy) "...And if we do need anything, then that hunky Tracey comes up to see us every other day!” she winked at Misty who smiled back.

Way to go!

 

[Water Spirit]

*Jaw drops* wow! Thanks guys! Do you really think its that good?
*Can't control excitement* THANK YOU SO MUCH!

Your comments are really supportive and Roodude15 thanks for the advice - I'll make sure to paragraph my speech properly.

*crosses fingers with WaterBlaster* yeah I'd like it to happen in the anime too, but for now I'm just going to let my imagination loose on this fanfic!

Well I better start writing the next chapter

THANK YOU!!

 

[Peach]

I love that ! I can't wait to see how this story goes on...I love that "Water Pokémon Gym-thing"!

 

[Keira]

Very good WS, I was always hoping that someone would make a fan fic like this, you know with all of the Ash meeting and the circumstances that they meet again.

Good job, keep it up.

 

[Water Spirit]

Chapter 2 – An Unexpected Reunion​

Misty got up early the next morning as the sun slowly rose. It lit her hair up and highlighted all the different shades. Red. Orange. Copper. She looked out of the window and watched the auburn rays touch everything in sight. It reminded her of the day that she left Ash, only that time it had been nearer nightfall.

But now I’m finally gonna see him again! She said excitedly to herself. And now I have a reason.

She packed her essentials into her familiar red backpack and swung it over her shoulder. Misty stood up and looked at herself in her mirror. She wore orange trainers that complimented her hair, a pair of butter-cream yellow hot pants, a strapped top that was a deep shade of red, which was covered by a matching butter-cream sleeveless jacket with a blue button. She did up the button and smiled to herself. Excitement bubbled inside her at the thought of seeing her friends again.

There was an arrangement of pictures by her bedside table, which she cherished dearly and glanced at them one last time. They were all of her friends in different regions and each brought back memories of her different adventures. The oldest one consisted of her and Ash together at the Maiden’s Peak festival, which Brock had sneakily taken when they weren’t looking. The second one was of Ash, Tracey, Pikachu, Togepi and her sitting on Lapras in the Orange Islands. The third, which she especially liked was taken just after she’d won the Seaking Competition and she was sitting on a bench alongside a humongous pile of chocolate and the Seaking Trophy. Togepi was sitting on the top of the pile looking as happy as ever while Pikachu was eating a chocolate bar on the other side of the pile. And to the left of the picture was Ash. He had a sour expression on his face because Misty refused to share any with him. She grinned to herself as she remembered his puppy dog eyes that he gave her when she still refused to give him any – the ones that she couldn’t resist and eventually handed him a bunch of the chocolate.

However, her most favourite one hung over her bed in a blue wooden frame. It was taken just before she left Ash and Brock, on the bank by the river just before they had set off down the path, which would fork out into three separate roads. They had sat quite close together as the local fisherman took their picture with Brock’s camera. Pikachu had its arm around Togepi and all had happy smiles because they knew that they would always be best friends. Brock had sent her the picture via e-mail just before he left for Houen and promised to give Ash a copy too.

I wonder if he has it? She asked herself. Or better yet, I wonder if he kept the hankerchief I gave him so he would always remember me…and it’s secret meaning…She shook her head and came back to her senses. It’s no good thinking about the past, I’ve got my whole future ahead of me!

After rushing down the stairs that led from her room to the gym, she walked along the side of the pool to where the pokeballs were kept in a rack.. Gyarados emerged from the pool and roared. It looked happy to see its trainer as she told it that they were going to the Houen region. She recalled it to its pokeball and put it in her backpack, along with two other pokeballs that contained Corsola and Staryu.

The reply letter that she had received yesterday from Wallace's apprentice stated that she must bring with her an official gym leader badge and a signature of the Gym leaders as proof of who she was. She had gone into the safe and retrieved a badge and the signatures from her sisters the day before. She double-checked that she had the piece of paper and the badge that were tucked neatly away in the pocket on her bag and when she was satisfied looked around the gym once more.

“Don’t worry. We’ll be fine. Just look after yourself OK?” a voice said behind her.

She turned around and saw her sisters beaming at her. She smiled at them.

“Do you have some Pokemon with you?” Violet asked her anxiously.

“Yeah.” Misty replied happily. “I’ve got Gyarados, Corsola and Staryu.”

Lily frowned at her. “You mean, like, your taking Pyduck?”

Misty grinned at her. “No I thought I’d leave it here so that you could have a bit of practice training with all the different pokemon and their unique traits and characteristics – including Psyduck’s.”

The three older sisters face-faulted on the floor. Misty laughed at them. They stood up right and each hugged her in turn. Daisy handed her the blimp ticket she’d need and the two ferry tickets that would get her to Wallace’s gym.

Misty walked through the glass doors and out on to the road before turning around and waving to her sisters while clutching her backpack with the other hand.

“Be careful and don’t do anything stupid!” they shouted after her.

“Look after yourself and let us know when you arrive at Wallace’s gym!”

“Yeah, and if you see your boyfriend make sure to invite him home for tea when you come back!”

Misty collapsed on to the road in disbelief and shouted angrily back at them – her face burning an angry red. When she recovered herself, she made her way along the road that would take her to Pallet Town’s port.

“Watch out Ash Ketchum coz I’m coming to Houen to find you and to be the Greatest Water Pokemon Master!” Misty said determinedly to herself.

***

“Brock!” I don’t think my e-mails are working!” Ash whined to his older friend.

His yellow buddy, Pikachu, landed on his shoulder to have a look at the screen that Ash was typing on. Brock came over to the Pokemon Trainer.

“Well, everything seems to be working. Are you sure you typed the address in right?” Brock questioned Ash - he knew how forgetful he could be.

“Of course I did!” Ash snapped back. “It’s not that hard to forget Misty’s e-mail address! Misty_mermaid@pokeworld.com!”

The Pokemon Breeder grinned at him. “Ohhhh. So you’ve memorised her address off by heart have you?" He teased.

Ash blushed and ignored him. “No it’s just easy to remember.” He muttered quietly while fixing his cap straight so that it covered his eyes.

It had been over a week since he’d heard from Misty and he was beginning to worry that something was wrong. She never left it this later to reply to his e-mails.

“What’s wrong?” May asked as she approached Ash.

She was a beginning trainer who had decided to take the path of Pokemon Co-ordinating and had just been training with her Beautifly and Skitty outside the Pokemon Center.

He looked at her and explained the situation with Misty. He thought about calling the Gym to see how she was but he knew that the gang wanted to make a move towards Sootopolis so they could watch him get his eighth badge and move on into the Houen League. May’s little brother, Max, ran through the doors of the Pokemon Center and stopped to catch his breath.

“Guys! The ferry is about to leave!” he shouted.

Everyone gasped and quickly grabbed their bags and ran out of the door. Ash started running backwards.

“Wait! I’ve forgotten my Pokemon!” He rushed up to the desk and quickly snatched the tray of pokeballs that Nurse Joy was about to hand him.

“Thanks, Nurse Joy!” He shouted as he ran out of the door at top speed leaving a bewildered Nurse Joy at the desk.

Ash ran at top speed along the path that would take him to the harbour – still carrying his pokeballs on the tray. Pikachu was running ahead of him and was starting to catch up with the others. The ferry’s horn sounded, indicating that it was a about to leave. Brock, May, Max and Pickachu moved even faster and all Ash could see was a dust cloud as they disappeared from sight.

“Guys! Wait for me!” he coughed as he ran through the thick cloud. As he emerged he saw the ferry leaving the dock and moving across the ocean. He yelled and ran at top speed to catch up with the ferry. He started running parallel with it as Brock let a piece of rope over the side, which Ash grabbed and tied the tray of pokeballs to it. The others face faulted. They hauled in his pokeballs and quickly dropped another rope down and loudly told him to grab it. The ferry was now moving away from where he was running and he lunged at the side and clumsily grabbed the rope. The gang breathed a sigh of relief as he hit the side of the ship. Brock and Max pulled on the rope to haul Ash in. A faint crackling could be heard by the side of the balcony.

“The rope is breaking!” May screamed.

Snap. Ash cried out as he fell into the ocean. Brock yelled to him as he tried to grab the second half of the rope unsuccessfully. They looked over the balcony to see Ash’s head bobbing up and down in the rough sea.

“Guys! Help!” he shouted as he disappeared beneath the waves.

“What are we going to do?” May asked anxiously.

Before anyone could reply, a girl had stepped up on to the balcony. She had one pokeball in her hand and had left her bag by the side of the deck as she dove neatly into the sea. The girl swam underwater towards Ash who she saw falling unconsciously into the depths of the ocean. The girl persistently swam towards him. He was falling further and further away from her and so she called upon her Pokemon. A Gyarados was released surrounded by a blue aura as its master indicated to it that she wanted it to swim after the boy. It obeyed her as she clung on tightly to its eyebrow. Ash had now vanished into a thick clump of weeds and sea plants as the girl became more anxious to rescue him. She jumped off Gyarados and leapt into the weeds.

Ash slowly opened his eyes half way. He could see a shadowy figure swimming towards him. It was a girl, but he recognised that outline from somewhere before. It looked like a beautiful mermaid was swimming in his direction. He instantly thought of Misty in her costume, though that would be impossible because she was still at the Gym all the way in Kanto. He fell unconscious again.

I’m coming Ash. Just hang on. The girl said to herself.

He had landed on the bed of the weeds as she swam beside him and grabbed him around the middle. She was about to kick off from the sea bed when a Luvdisc swam in front of her. It looked angry at her but when it saw that she was holding a boy, it became happy and started dancing in circles around them. The girl thought it looked cute but she had to get the boy to the surface and so she started kicking upwards. The LuvDisc watched her go and darted after her. The girl emerged from the weeds and saw her Gyarados who instantly bowed its head to her. She placed Ash on its eyebrow when the LuvDisc suddenly appeared and started dancing around her and Ash again. Gyarados launched a Hyper Beam at it and hit its target. However, the LuvDisc was still conscious from the powerful attack and the girl was amazed by its strength. LuvDisc swam around the girl in very fast circles and created a whirlpool. The girl span round and round and panicked because the boy might die from lack of oxygen if she didn’t help him soon. She threw a pokeball at LuvDisc who didn’t struggle and was immediately caught. The girl grabbed the pokeball, jumped on top of Gyarados as it swam towards the surface.

She breathed in a grateful breath of fresh air and instantly focused her attention on the boy. She looked around for the ferry, which had stopped a little way away from them and told her Gyarados to swim towards it. The boy stirred as she shook him.

“Hang on Ash.” The girl said to him.

Gyarados shook its head, intentionally making Ash and its master fly into the air. The girl grabbed Ash’s wrist.

“Gyarados! What are you-”

Gyarados aimed a Hydro Pump at them both, hurling them at top speed towards the ship. They landed heavily on the deck – the girl landing first and Ash falling on top of her. She pushed him off as Brock, May and Max ran towards them. Ash, having been awakened by the impact, coughed and spluttered as he took in big breaths of air.

“Well Ash, long time no see. But its definitely not the reunion I was expecting.” The girl said next to him playfully.

Ash looked up at his rescuer and gasped.

End Chapter 2​

Well, that's Chapter 2! I don't think it's as good as the first one so I AM HAPPY to hear your comments and reviews on how I can improve it and what you think of it so far.

(Please ignore the e-mail address that I created for Misty. It is NOT real but I can't seem to get rid of the hyperlink! Sorry!)

And anyone who hasn't reviewed but has looked at this thread PLEASE let me know what you think of it! I'd be very grateful to know what you think of it! All your reviews can help me improve the story to hopefully make it better.

Thank you!

Water Spirit
XxX

 

[Peach]

This is too good story...I have read both chapters like million times

This was so funnu part, I love it! That could happen in anime

Misty walked through the glass doors and out on to the road before turning around and waving to her sisters while clutching her backpack with the other hand.

“Be careful and don’t do anything stupid!” they shouted after her.
“Look after yourself and let us know when you arrive at Wallis’ gym!”
“Yeah, and if you see your boyfriend make sure to invite him home for tea when you come back!”

But Luvdisk is my favorite:

He had landed on the bed of the weeds aa she swam beside him and grabbed him around the middle. She was about to kick off from the sea bed when a Luvdisc swam in front of her. It looked angry at her but then it saw that she was holding a boy it became happy and started dancing in circles around them.

Keep writing, Water Spirit^-^

 

[Shawn1036902]

Nice!

Ash "gasped" when he saw Misty? XD - that one's funny, and realistic too.

I laughed pretty hard when I saw the comment by Misty's sister:

“Yeah, and if you see your boyfriend make sure to invite him home for tea when you come back!”

It was then that I accurately predicted how Misty would react. That proves you're doing a good job making this a realistic story.

You're doing a great job overall, Water Spirit! Keep up the good work on Chapter 3.

 

[roodude15]

wow even better than ur first and im glad u put in my advice it makes it easier to read.

~keep it up~

 

[WaterBlaster]

Aww! That chapter was sweet! Better than the first one, IMO. I guess it's 'cause both Ash and Misty were there...
Anyway, only one thing kind of bugged me in this chapter: you used "face faulted" quite a lot of times for one chapter. Try looking in a thesaurus (sp?) for a different word meaning the same thing. But that's just my picky opinion... You can ignore it! I just tend to notice when I've read a certain word more than once... Aside from that, this chapter is perfect!
And that Luvdisc thing... Nice touch! *winks*

 

[Double Decker]

Brilliant! Superb! Great Story line and structure! I'd give it 10/10! Simply amazing! I'll be looking forward to the next chapter!

 

[NUKUDRAGON]

hold up wait a minnute this story is sweet i love it it is so realistic,i could see all this happening in the real show i cant wait for chapter 3 keep it up, this story is fantastic your are a great writer please post the next chapter as soon as possble

 

[PokeManiac]

Very nice WaterSpirit! Nice length and description, and it is very realistic! Keep it up! I love this fic!

 

[Water Spirit]

Thank You!

^_____^ Thank you SO much for your comments! It really means a lot to me.

Originally posted by WaterBlaster

only one thing kind of bugged me in this chapter: you used "face faulted" quite a lot of times for one chapter. Try looking in a thesaurus (sp?) for a different word meaning the same thing. But that's just my picky opinion... You can ignore it!

WB, I would never ignore a comment like this! These sort of comments are what help me to improve my fanfic and make it more enjoyable for you to hopefully read! So thank you! and if anyone sees any more improvements I can make, please let me know!

I'm just happy that people are reading and enjoying my fic as it just inspires me to continue and to keep on writing. Thank you guys so much for your support! ^_^

Water Spirit
XxX

 

[-- Little Wings --]

*heart* <3 This is great WaterSpirit! What a amazing first Fanfic you have there! For a first, it is just wow! I really love the the way its laid out, you display the characters perfectly and it really pulls you into the Fic, which is one of the best touches of a good story. Very, very sweet ^____^

He had landed on the bed of the weeds aa she swam beside him and grabbed him around the middle. She was about to kick off from the sea bed when a Luvdisc swam in front of her. It looked angry at her but then it saw that she was holding a boy it became happy and started dancing in circles around them.

That bit is a lovely touch And the awkward moment with Misty's email address was very funny and cute. *Jumps around* I want the next chapter! Great going Waterspirit and keep it up! =D

~Lilac

 

[Indiana Blastoise]

Usually, I try to stay away from fanfics that deal with the same characters as the anime, because the authors can rarely hold onto the personalities of the characters while creating their own unique story around them. You have done a great job of keeping them all in perspective, which is very hard when working with characters that are not your own, and I commend you for that. I agree with the 'face-faulting' advice given earlier, but it is a minor blemish on a very nice piece of work. Keep it up!

 

[Moon_Pup]

WOW! this is an awesome fan-fic! and it sems just like the anime!

 

[Water Spirit]

Thank you so much for your comments guys! I don't think I can express how happy I am by your comments and how many people have read and reviewed this fic so far! ^_______^

I have one question for all my reviewers and readers out there... would you like me to edit my story so far with the corrections and comments that you have made or would you like me to leave them as they are and use your advice and tips in future chapters?

Please let me know by PM and I will take the majority of your comments and let you know in a future post. Thank you! I'd be very grateful! (Chapter 3 is well underway and I will post it up soon!) And thank you to all my reviewers who have encouraged me to keep on writing! ^_______^ Once again thank you for your support!

Water Spirit
XxX

 

[Keira]

Thank you so much for your comments guys! I don't think I can express how happy I am by your comments and how many people have read and reviewed this fic so far! ^_______^

I have one question for all my reviewers and readers out there... would you like me to edit my story so far with the corrections and comments that you have made or would you like me to leave them as they are and use your advice and tips in future chapters?

Please let me know by PM and I will take the majority of your comments and let you know in a future post. Thank you! I'd be very grateful! (Chapter 3 is well underway and I will post it up soon!) And thank you to all my reviewers who have encouraged me to keep on writing! ^_______^ Once again thank you for your support!

Water Spirit
XxX

maybe... you could slow down a little on the shippy stuff and save it for later, I don't like when things are too spontaneous, but besides that the fanfic is really good so keep it up.

when will the next chapter be up?