Fate's Pathway(Poem)

[Jupetta]

Fate's Pathway


Fog slowly drifts through the deep wood,

Drifts as only a phantom could.

As I wander through the dark gloom,

I wonder which path’s way I should.


One leads to my impending doom,

The other frees me from this tomb.

My death comes from a painful frost,

The weave of fate torn from its loom.


But maybe all things aren’t as lost,

Or will there be a hidden cost.

An angel fallen from its perch,

The purpose of life has been tossed.


Meanwhile under the dismal birch,

I stand at the roads path diverge.

My fate relies on my heart’s urge,

My fate relies on my hearts urge.​

This is one of my poems... I know that it isn't very good so don't be too harsh.
~;354;

 

[~*Myuu the Ryuu*~]

Of course it's good... it's one of the best poetry i've seen in this forum. it's easy to tell what's going on, and it's just perfect.

One leads to my impending doom,

The other frees me from this tomb.

My death comes from a painful frost,

The weave of fate torn from its loom.

that part is pure genius if you ask me.

This is well written, yet it's only sixteen lines. A work of art,

 

[katiekitten]

This was lovely! Well done!

One leads to my impending doom,

The other frees me from this tomb.

My death comes from a painful frost,

The weave of fate torn from its loom.

My favourite passage.

I wonder which path’s way I should.

Should what? I know, I know, you had to twist the sentence so it would fit the rhyming scheme. But here is the thing: It doesn't really fit. wood and could rhyme, so maybe try and find something that rhymes with Gloomy? *shrugs*

Another well done, a fantastic poem. I'll keep an eye out for your work!

 

[Kutie Pie]

Hmm...This reminds me of that one poem The Path Less Ridden or something like that. Like the person in that poem's trying to figure out which way to go, the road less ridden or more ridden where the grass died since it's been trampled on a lot, the one in here's trying to figure out if he should go to heaven or hell.

Beautifully done! If you keep this up, you'll be up there with Byzantium. Good job! Can't wait for more!

~~~~~~~~~~
♥Kutie Pie♥ Please be kind to midgets!

 

[Flaming Lip]

As mentioned earlier you don't have to twist sentences to get a ryhme. It can still be a slant ryhme if you have that word (or could) in the middle of the line or so.

Nevertheless I like the pattern you used. I can imagine walking through the woods at dark coming to fork in the path and not knowing which to take.

Nice

 

[Jupetta]

Thanks... I didn't think that it would do this well.*Faints at seeing Byzantium's post*
~;354;

 

[SpaceFlare]

Hmm...This reminds me of that one poem The Path Less Ridden or something like that.

You mean "The Road Less Traveled" by Robert Frost.

Anyway, I like the way you wrote it, very descripitive. Oh and yeah, don't feel bad with having to twist your poems around. One thing I was taught in a poetry workshop was that free verse poetry existed for a reason. (Another was that poems don't always have to be centered, but anyway) Last note, don't force rhymes.

Off-topic: You can post non-Pokemon poetry in this section? I thought you were supposed to post them in the non-Pokemon section?

 

[Flaming Lip]

0o

Dang! Why is it that I make everyone I talk to faint! Is it my breath?

*brushes teeth*

Could ya please PM if you are going to post a new poem? I would really like to see more!

 

[Jupetta]

Thanks... after I have time to write a new one I will.