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Felix the mutant Pikachu-The craziest in the world!

S

Shiny_deoxys

Guest
Well well well.
I really enjoyed this one. I think that we are starting to see what the first part of the story was about, the one with the Giga Explosion and such. It was funny to see Brock so pitifully beaten. It also seems like Brock finally found a woman, something he has been looking for for a looooooooooong time. I love your book, keep it up.
 

Nylf

Well-Known Member
;330; Awesome. George the slightly Drunk Pikachu rocks! He wiped the floor with Onix and Forretress. Keep it up. It's funny and the new guy is either called Gary, Green Blue or Squall.(Or possibly the guy who turned on them in FF8, his name evades me, because I don't like him)

;359; I still think it's Frank the Nutty Pikachu.

;373; Description, good. Length, Good. Humour, Off the scales! Seriosly, this is funnier than xXSaberXx's CoF.

;307;ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..............

;249-d; If I say what I'm thinking S.F. will set Rayquaza on me....

;330; D*** straight I will, you petty little...

;359; We all hate Jack, so stop ranting S.F. And next time, can Amidamaru join in?

;330; Sure your Absol can Cina, and if Ricardo the short and fat pikachu wants to help kick Jack's butt, he can as well.
 

skiboydoggy

Ski > You
Alright, basic premise of the story is:
1) Over-spamming of vulgarities
2) Certain attempts at humour
3) Pikachu...
4) Pwnage of all enemies.
5) Pikachu...

Honestly, just so you know, Red is the most powerful trainer in the pokemon world. Sheesh. You pwned him.
At least give him a proper development stage so that we can rest with the fact that there is a freaking powerful !Pikachu! (WHAT?!) that does not start off being more than able to defeat a level 100 Gyrados. Because that's what Red's Gyrados is. Level 100.
While I do admit that some people will get quite a laugh from it, you can rest assured that it will wear thin by Chapter 20. Find new means of creating jokes as opposed to spamming vulgarities, pokemon abuse and lame puns. 1337 will not get you very far either just so you know.

Make your trainer fit her history, or at least in time make her do so. Having a Mewtwo powered Pikachu and still being an idiot? Bleagh.

Alright, less on your stupidity and more on your writing. For a first, having a person who is a tortured, powerful, child of a main character is just not right. The fact that she also personally knows Red, Yellow, Green, probably Blue and every other manga character just screams Sue all over. Plus, a broken back SHOULD very well leave you paralysed waist down.
I mean, if it was a joke device it would be alright, but as it is, it is not. Thus I believe that your writing was screwed up from the beginning.

Oh well, you can always improve, and there is plenty of space to do so in the future. Oh, and since I know you personally, let's just advice you: Make the evolution method a little more complicated than the King's Rock. Slowbro already has that.

The Thumbs: Somewhere in the middle (Lowered by the fact that your main villian is called Maniac 13astard...)
 
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Felix Feral Fezirix

Densetsu no Pikachu!
Ski just stop the bloody Pikachu discrimination. And stop spilling the beans for god's sake! You're ruining my fic! *Felix attempts strangulation before a Stream of Profanity is unleashed* We shall talk at school n00b(P.S. Choco Love is funny. I am attempting to be funnier. Live with it.).

Sorry for above paragraph. Ski is someone I know personally and I get abbuse because I like Pikachus. He goes for ubers(eg. Dragonite Metagross Tyrannitar etcera). Thanks for taking the time to read and post Shiny_Deoxys(For a little trivia there's someone with the name Shiny Deoxys if I'm not wrong. Now to figure out how not to mix these two up) and Shiny Flygon(Great! Another cryptic post! Whoopie! [/ISnotBEINGsarcasticWITHINbracket]). I guess I'm gonna post the next chapter through edit. It's gonna be big(duh) so I don't need to double post anyway.

P.S. Typing in the dark is very hard especially with an outdated Windows 95 computer and simple day-use keyboard and mouse that should have been smashed, stomped on and turned into ashes years ago.
~Words of wisdom by Felix_the_mutant_Pikachu
 

Felix Feral Fezirix

Densetsu no Pikachu!
I don't care, I'm gonna double post because I'm feeling very rebellious today, so...Mwahahahaha. Come and catch me. Right, here we go.

If you cannot guess what happened to Rinoa you need to think in a more mature fashion(or you are thinking innocent thoughts, which, you should have known by now, are not used very much in this story). You should be thinking evil thoughts. Eeeeeeeeevil thoughts(Okay not that evil. Think a bit more mature?). Don’t knock yourself out.

Chapter 8
-Brendan-

:::Rinoa:::

After I had gotten over thinking about Serge, I began to think about something else. It nagged at the corners at my mind.

It was Felix’s flaming tail.

At the critical moment he had unleashed that move, yet after the match when I asked him to use the attack he had no idea how to(Normal ones can’t, Pikachus do not possess powers that make their tail burn like a Charmander’s). That was definitely true. How could he escape my mental interrogation? I could probe into the very thoughts of his mind easily, even from a distance(when he needed to take a **** I could still interrogate him from the bed). That was one big unsolved mystery.

I had stayed in the hospital for a week, and I found out that a man had dropped me off at the hospital in the dead of the night. The nurse who was at the counter that day couldn’t remember the person’s appearance. The weird part was that the nurse was known for good memory and could easily remember things she had seen years and years ago. Even the cameras did not record anything about him. The mysteriously blacked out for 20 minutes or so, which was the amount of time the man spent there. I inferred that he didn’t want anyone to know about him. He must have his reasons, I thought to myself.

I was taking my daily morning walk around town. I was heading for the museum like I always did to see if there was anything new. My chest was much better now, after taking a steroid that multiplied the speed at which cells divided over some time. It helped my back recover faster due to faster cell division to replace my dead cells. The side effects were incredible speed of growth. It didn’t work out the way I wanted it to(I didn’t grow any taller), but my hair grew a lot longer. I trimmed my fringe slightly, and the hair at the back was tied into a ponytail. I was wearing a shirt and a pair of shorts. My parents wouldn’t be able to recognize me if they saw me now(In fact she would definitely get a stroke).

I entered through the back gate. In itself it was a security device. The creak it emitted could wake the dead faster than Hilliam Wung(Do not hit me for this. Plus I’m a girl and chances are if you are my age I can kick your *** so hard you’ll kiss the moon. So there [Note by Felix: She also has a knack for misspelling and mixing up words]). Felix was doing menial labour to get more Pikachu blend Pokechow. At that particular moment he passed by holding a small piece of rectangular wood like a battering ram. As he passed by he flashed the finger. I ignored him and walked further in, remembering to shut the gate behind me(Again the gate creaked in the same way). I walked up to a door in the back of the building. The infamous back door. I had unlimited access what with talk my slaughtering Brock’s pokemon all over town. I flung it open. Of course it was huge news that I was leaving soon, but there was something new coming in today. Apparently it was a fossil. I decided to check it out for fun.

The minute I walked in, I didn’t need to ask where it was. Immediately I was shoved towards the fossil. That was when I saw a small lump of something yellow. I overheard a scientist saying, “-a great fossil it is! Look, the shine of the amber-!” Great? It looked really uninteresting. Then I overheard something else.

“-heard there’s a research lab on Cinnabar that can revive fossils. There’s gonna be a lot of people entering. The winner gets to bring the amber to Cinnabar and revive and keep the result!” Some scientist talking animatedly to his colleague.

“I bet that kid wins-!” His colleague. I had no doubt he was talking about me. Heck, bring it to Cinnabar? That was simple. I’ll go for it. I registered within minutes and spent the rest of the morning training(Not too strenuous though).

That afternoon I wasted half of it razoring through everyone with Iron Tail, Razor Wind, Double Kick, Peck, Wing Attack and other assorted moves. Before long I was qualified for the finals, and half the time through the entire I was sleepwalking. The half of the time was in battle. I felt like yawning. Stupid people. Just give up and you wouldn’t have your pokemon diced like Brock’s. Brock was a pushover. Fighting these people was like a Dragonite wasting time to squish a Magikarp. Yawn.

“Will the finalists please report to the arena at once!” A voice blared out of a loudspeaker above a bench all of us were dozing on. Time to go. I ran to the arena. I had expected a pushover. I got a nasty surprise in return.

I walked onto the stage and awaited my opponent. The stage consisted of a raised, square platform with markings for each trainer to stand in. Felix carried a baseball bat. Lately he had taken to batting opponents away. Rules state that once a pokemon lands outside an arena it loses. I guess he wasn’t going to waste energy and muscle power beating up some miserable pokemon when he could just score a home run with them. Sheesh.

My opponent arrived. My jaw dropped in shock. My pokemon gaped at me. All eyes were on me.

Brendan Birch!

Dammit! This was going to be hard. I mean, only a trainer of considerable ability should be able to raise a Dragonite! And also give it away like an old toy. Felix swapped out the baseball bat in favour of a loaded 44. God knows how he got ahold of one. I commanded him to put the darn thing away. He did. Now he took out a bamboo pole that reached up to my hips. Hmm. I wonder what he would do with it. I began to think of the countless possibilities…

“Hi Rinoa!” that fool greeted me, interrupting my train of thought.

“What are you doing here?” I asked. Better to know. I could exploit any weakness he had.

He didn’t get to answer though; the match started just then.

“Kipper!” A Mudkip raced out.

“Felix!” I was gonna screw that water type pokemon badly. One zap would put it out of commission.

“Water Gun,” he said with lazy confidence. That was my trademark. And that ******* dared steal it.

“Thunderbolt! Show no mercy!” I yelled. He was so gonna pay for taking my trademark.

“Change attack. Mud Shot,” he replied. I quickly ordered Felix to instead do whatever he wanted.

His Water Gun was way off and it suddenly ended. Now Felix had to deal with the new Mud Shot. How annoying. But he just spun the pole. At the end he was unharmed, but the rest of us were spattered with mud(meaning me, Chick and Speary). Yuck. Next he ran and delivered a hard blow with the stick on that Mudkip’s head while it was reloading. Pathetic.

“Pathetic!” he yelled back. What!? That ******* cheeked me!? He was so gonna pay.

Just then Felix bounced and landed on the ground. “Stupid water/ground *******,” he wrote, “conjured a Light Screen from out of nowhere.” I agreed with him for once.

“Earthquake!” Brendan was taking this up a notch now. I was gonna show him.

“Dice that pile of blue crap!” I yelled.

:::Felix:::

The following is a display of superior acrobatics.
1. I planted the pole into the ground
2. I leapt to the top.
3. I grasped the top of the pole and began hopping with it.
4. After I gauged the distance, I leapt.
5. After performing a variety of aerial stunts, I bring my Iron Tail onto that loser’s head.
6. Such is the way.

:::Rinoa:::

Brendan’s Mudkip’s head got sliced into half anyway. Brendan was beaming even though he just lost a pokemon.

“Excellent. William!” he said. Man, he was a glutton for punishment. He was so dead.

A male Nidoran emerged. I never bother going into details but there was something special about this guy. He looked like his lifelong ambition was to kill, steal and plunder. Sheesh. I got Speary to get out and do him in. I could tell she was excited. I just wanted to beat the living crap out of Brendan. Well, time to rock.

“Horn Attack,” he said and yawned. He actually dared yawn in front of me. This ******* was dead.

That Nidoran came head on. I issued a command via… I dunno, brainwaves? Speary jumped on the guy’s back and began stomping on it like nuts. Fury attack, except using legs. Now I yawned. A huge yawn. Brendan didn’t like me doing that of course, you could see his face. The Nidoran was on a rampage, trying to shake the pesky Spearow off.

“Rinoa, is that the best you can do?” he asked, apparently bored.

“Shut up and concentrate!” I snapped back at him.

“Rollout,” Brendan gave a command.

Nidoran began to spin. I ordered Speary to get off silently. The Nidoran spun round and round. I ordered her to tail the ball of purple as close as possible. Soon the little guy got tired of spinning that he stopped.

“Drill Peck!” I ordered as a finishing move.

“Roll backwards,” Brendan said, sniggering like it was a joke.

Speary was undoubtly squished under Nidoran. I had lost my first pokemon.

Without a second thought I ordered Chick out and withdrew Speary. I wanted revenge.

“Nidoran, Earthquake,” Brendan said lazily.

The ground rumbled. Ordinarily Chick would have been hit by the attack. But with all the training flying lessons Speary had given her Chick flapped hard and she managed to hover above the ground. Felix was jumping like a kangaroo. I got shoved off the arena by the attack.

“Argh!” I said as I hit the ground and rolled. The audience were trying not to fall over too, so I took the opportunity to scramble back on the arena. That pesky Nidoran was still bashing the ground with his foot. Yawn. Now to end this **** with a **** you and have a nice day, in Felix’s words.

“Flamethrower!” I yelled. Chick obeyed and shot a huge flame at the Nidoran. It blasted at the pile of purple crap but it rolled out of the way anyway(hmm…that sounds like a joke). Big miss. Damn.

“Rollout!” Brendan ordered. The spiked menace spun into a ball again and went after Chick. Right then I began to plot a way of revenge. Brendan had humiliated me enough. I would push him off the stage like he did me.

“Jump on that idiot and use a flaming Double Kick!” I yelled. I hoped the Nidoran would lose control and run into Brendan and knock him off. The ball of purple was fast becoming barbeque in a ball. Even if the Nidoran didn’t hit Brendan he would fry to hell anyway.

As I expected, the pokemon kept his cool and rolled around waiting for Brendan’s next command. Chick was going nuts on top of him, what with trying to balance, kick, keep up the blaze and cause damage. She was sweating like she’d been put in a sauna set at 700 degrees Celsius. The game was in the bag. Yet Brendan had a smile on his face. He probably had an ace up his sleeve. But I couldn’t figure it out. This was infuriating! Then suddenly I saw the glow. Then I knew what Brendan had been thinking all along.

:::Brendan:::

I took one look at the face of the brunette with a ponytail standing in front of me, and decided to end the fight. William was evolving with her pokemon on top. A white halo surrounded my pokemon. Muscles began to bulge, the horn lengthened and thickened, the limbs lengthened and thickened like the horn did. When the halo vanished, Rinoa’s mouth was wide open. I could probably stuff my fist into her mouth right then and she wouldn’t even notice. The game was over. Rinoa was incapable of speech.

“Horn Drill,” I spoke confidently. William landed on his four feet and Rinoa’s Torchic flew into the air.

“TOOOOORRR!” she screamed(You think I can’t differentiate pokemon gender at a glance when I have studied and made some of the most comprehensive notes on pokemon ever?) in fear. She spun a few times in the air screeching away. Rinoa could only watch as William ran forward, horn spinning and impaled the helpless Torchic on his horn. Right then, Rinoa opened her mouth and screamed.

“CHIIIIICK!”

:::Felix:::

Rinoa was on the verge of tears. She was losing it. Tears streamed down her face. As for me, right then I realized how it felt for Brock’s pokemon when I diced them. I wasn’t a very happy Pikachu right then. I was gonna make their *** mine, whether they liked it or not. I bet a box of Pikachu blend pokechow not.

I scampered up. My eyes were blazing in anger. I took the rod and prepared to wage war. The pile of spiked crap tossed my buddy aside like she was nothing. There was a bleeding hole in the middle of her body. Rinoa, who was on her knees, withdrew the pokemon. ***kicking time.

Holding the end, I used it to poke the Nidorino, trying to make it get ****** off. It didn’t. In fact, it smiled, raised its foot and stomped. In fact I wondered if Brendan could read my mind like Rinoa. In fact, I had no time to think about that. In fact, I was gonna be thrown off the arena, resulting in my disqualification and Rinoa’s loss. In fact, at that moment Rinoa was still moping over the rest, especially Chick. In fact, I thought that she would have been healing Chick with her powers. In fact, I was on my own again.
In fact, I was now right at the edge, having been thrown there by the Earthquake attacks. In fact I was balancing by poking the stick rapidly everywhere to steady myself. In fact, my feet hadn’t touched the ground, so I hadn’t been disqualified.

Now let’s cut that stupid thing about “In fact” out shall we? Right then, ‘William’ charged at me. Right then, I grabbed his horn and attempted to maneuver myself into safety and push that ***hole out. Right then, I felt something sink into my groin. Right then I knew if I tried what I was thinking my genitals would be ripped and torn out of my body. Right then, we flew off stage. Right then, he let go of me. Right then, his feet touched the ground. Right then, I flipped over. Right then my feet touched the ground. Right then, it was all over.

[/STUPIDthingABOUTrightTHEN]
 
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legendaryrider

Soul Trainer
so felix knows fire punch(using his tail) thats just as cool as my pikachu zap cannon he knows flamethrower. keep going great so far.
 

skiboydoggy

Ski > You
Uh-huh

Now Felix, be nice. I do not love ubers. I just happen to respect them more than Pikachu. The only one I really like is Dragonite, although I will willingly admit any day the Tyranitar is the superior fighter, and Metagross the superior tank.
I have something about the wyrms that I like. Charizard, Dragonite and stuff.
Although I dare say Alakazam, Gengar, Machamp, Gyrados, Dragonite and Charizard is a rather overpowered team, I have used it before. Except the trade-evolved were at their second stage cause I was being gay and using an emulator.
;006;
Now, reading past the chapter, I must admit that you have built up your characters pretty well. Much better than some stories I read.
Excuse my crappy English, it is very late and I need to get a lot of sleep.
Anyway, just to say this. NEVER FREAKING LISTEN TO A FREAKING REVIEW WITH NO FREAKING PROPER FREAKING ENGLISH.

That is all.
G'Night.
 

Felix Feral Fezirix

Densetsu no Pikachu!
Actually a spoiler is that Felix can do EVERY SINGLE ATTACK(you saw that right) even Transform at the end of book 3(which takes place in Hoenn). And no, Felix is gorging himself on Pikachu blend pokechow at the moment which is why I can tell you this. And Felix has the stats of... oops, too late. Ahhhhhhhh! *Felix commits another crime of attempted murder by strangulation and ends with one of 4 possible trademarks*
 
S

Shiny_deoxys

Guest
Okay, I think I get what you are trying to say. I don't want to say anything for fear that it will bring forth the wrath of Felix, so I'll just sit back and see if my prediction is true. This book is great, the comic relief is a blast, and I hope you keep up the good work, regardless of what others say. Anyway, I'm off. *Tosses Felix a special order of Pokechow all the way from Ecruteak City.* I hope you enjoy it, Darren and Eve will be seeing you in Ecruteak in a while.
 

Felix Feral Fezirix

Densetsu no Pikachu!
It may take years to get there... I don't know how many chapters its going to take to take it to near ********** where *huge spoiler occurs*. Hey who censored my post? *Felix confesses*
 

The True Champion

Behold his Power
This fic is great so far and it is really cool how Rinoa can read minds and heal pokemon. It is also cool how Felix is really smart and that he first met Rinoa when she was 4. keep up the good work and i am looking forward to the next chapter!
 

Nylf

Well-Known Member
;330;To the bonnie wee pikachu called Rinoa the ricaeous(umm... I think that's right) Pikachu, firstly thanks for the advice on my fic, and secondly great chapter!

;359; I'm finally awake and I have this to say. Rinoa soooooooooooooooo likes Brendan and vice versa. Also Ginny the red headed Pikachu should nick the amber in the next chapter. Give him William Wallace's Sword! It's five foot in height!

;373; Great chapter. Nothing much I can complain about except Mudkip isn't a ground type until it evolves into Marshtomp. And to Cina and S.F., it's Frank the Barmy Pikachu.
 

El hariyamer

Order of the Green
Mr Felix T. M. Antpikachu,
I am protesting at your lack of goodwil towards Brock. I happen to think that it is a gross outrage at the way you are treating him, Mr. Antpikachu. Mr Antpikachu, please review your writing style.
 

El hariyamer

Order of the Green
Mr Felix T. M. Antpikachu,
I would also write a long lengthy review about your general disregard to life in general, but I gave up. So I'll just tell you, Mr Antpikachu. Stop killing off stuff, Mr Antpikachu. And stop giving away unneeded spoilers, Mr Antpikachu.
 

Felix Feral Fezirix

Densetsu no Pikachu!
Thanks to Shiny_Deoxys and Shiny Flygon for reading and replying(I shall leave my school friends out of this...El Hariyama you are going to die tomorrow).

Thanks to Shiny_Deoxys and Shiny Flygon for reading and replying(I shall leave my school friends out of this...El Hariyama you are going to die tomorrow).

Sorry for the long wait I have schoolwork and exams and other stuff so I had little time to write but here it is! Chapter 9!
In the far future there will be four invented pokemon and five if I manage to write two sequels.

Chapter 9
-Blast the Clefairy!-

:::Rinoa:::

“-Consolation prizes, a Luxury Ball. Will those whose names have been called come up on stage. Regan. Gon. Ski.” So on and so forth. The list went on. I stared at the two pokeballs in my hands. Chick lay fast asleep after her ordeal. Speary was looking at the prize presentation. Felix, well… Let’s just say he’s having an operation at the centre to retain his manliness(or so he calls it). You couldn’t imagine how angry he was when he got thrown off stage. If what he did went on air(tlevsion[Note by Felix: See, she can’t spell. *Rinoa ignores him*] I mean), there would be an hour of dead air(screen black, no sound).

“3rd prize: A Dratini! Will…” I looked up and my jaw dropped.

It was Serge!

I sat there, trying to control my emotions. I lowered my head to hide my burning face and I clutched my pokeballs tightly. My fringe hung down from my head like… well, dog ears. Okay, now I admit it was stupid to cut my hair like this but I had it for three years already and a quick change wouldn’t help.

“2nd prize: A…” I got ready to stand as my name was called.

A couple of hours later, I was sitting at a table after checking in to the Pokemon Center. It was already 10pm and as Nurse Joy said, a little too late to be having dinner. Everyone else was eating supper and the only one eating dinner was me. Together with Brendan and Serge.

I ate my fried rice with chicken quietly instead of talking to the two of them while they argued over who was stronger. Apparently I was too busy lolling around and whiling time away that I failed to notice the two of them being called to a battle, much less watched their battle. Serge apparently had mediocre pokemon(according to Brendan). If a team of Wartortle, Ninetales, Dratini and Kadabra was mediocre, I was completely out of the league. Brendan tripped all of them out(except Dratini which he just got it from the prize presentation) and was currently bragging that his pokemon were too intelligent for Serge’s pokemon. I didn’t know what to say. This was the first time I was talking to people who were friendly with me without adult supervision. I had no idea what to do.

“So what if you tripped my pokemon off the stage?” Serge answered calmly, brushed back his blond hair and met Brendan’s red eyes with his own blue eyes. “It just proves you are so pathetic you have to resort to different ways and means to force people out. Pathetic.”

“WHAT?! Hey, it’s called strategy for god’s sake! If you can’t understand strategy you are the worst dumbass in the world! If you went into the league you’ll have your rear end kicked so hard you’ll kiss the damn moon and you can **** it for all I care too! Right, Rinoa?” Brendan’s raised voice had everyone staring.

“What?” My face instantly turned crimson. I sat there, looking down, saying nothing.

“Aw, forget it. Anyway-“ Serge began but Brendan cut him off by stuffing his fist into Serge’s mouth.

“We-can-shut-the-hell-up-till-she-answers!” Brendan said as he multi-tasked talking to Serge and straining to prevent him from talking till I did. By then I looked like I was going to pop a vessel out of sheer pressure from all the blood rushing to my head. I gathered up my courage and spoke.

“Well……I guess Brendan’s right…” I mumbled. Brendan let go of Serge and gave a triumphant remark(See?).

“In case you guys haven’t noticed,” I said even more softly, “Everyone’s watching us.”

They looked around. I saw their faces go white as they looked around at the variety of glares, curious look and the great attention we were getting. It was like walking onto stage and having the spotlight shone directly on you.

“I need the gents,” Brendan croaked and rushed off.

“Me too,” he was closely followed by a nervous Serge, leaving me all alone at the table. Trembling, I picked up the fork and spoon, trying to disperse the attention by doing something uninteresting. Soon everyone had their eyes off the boring black-haired girl sitting alone at the table eating her fried rice quietly. However many men muttered something to their company and went into the toilet. Glad to have the attention off me, I stopped trembling and my face turned into its usual olive again.

Minutes later Brendan and Serge rushed back to the table and gobbled down their food before rushing off again. I took my own sweet time and when I was done(1 minute later. I was scooping up the last few grains of my rice when they rushed off) I helped them return their utensils as well. As I was about to leave I spotted their room keys on the floor. I pocketed them and returned to my room.

Felix was lying facedown on the ground when I came in and Chick put a foot on Felix’s head and I could understand what she said next. It was definitely a play made by Felix, the words she said were too deep for her(and me and Speary) to conjure up. I merely smiled I walked into the bathroom and closed the door. The minute the lock clicked Felix uttered some expletives that were a sign that Chick had messed up her line and another pokemon’s voice told her the line again. It ran, “You should have said, ‘quoting Julius Caesar, Veni, Vedi, Veci! I came, I saw and I conquered!’”

Chick began to argue with the other two, and Speary joined in in defending Chick. Smiling, I stripped and got into the bathtub. Running some warm water in, I lay in the warm water and dozed, while the screeches outside turned into thuds and whacks, and soon crashing and breaking sounds were heard.

I lay there for god knows how long after the noise had subsided(which was very long) before I unwillingly got up, drained the water and bathed. It was a long time since I had taken a bath since I left home. As I dried myself, my towel ran over the fire-shaped birthmark on my shoulder and I looked at it. For the second time in my life, I felt that something bad was going to happen in the near future. I tried to shake it off but couldn’t. The last time this had happened I got stung by a bunch of Beedrill and my dad had railed at me for god knows how long and I ended up behind the curtains with my mother trying to protect me. I decided not to brood on it so much. Whatever would be would be. I dressed myself in a loose shirt and shorts and opened the door.

Instantly I saw a Pikachu brandishing a loaded 44. at my new acquirement, who was sitting on the top deck of the double-decker bed on the left side of the room. Chick and Speary were lying face down on the ground with no doubt an engineered pool of blood made from tomato sauce and other ingredients that I don’t want to specify. They both had a broken leg and wing. Felix was threatening to fire a couple of rounds out of his gun and my new acquirement sniggered at him, applied more makeup on her face and attempted to charm him by giving him a seductive look.

“Get off it, Mandy, Felix!” Felix tried to hide his gun behind his back, but it did as much good as a Cheshire cat trying to hide its grin as my new Charmander leapt off the top deck, grabbed the gun and pointed it at Felix. Felix kicked the gun and it flew into the air and landed on the top deck on the other side of the room. The two pokemon began to stare each other down. Soon Mandy gave him another haughty look, spun around in a pirouette, whipped out the makeup kit and applied her makeup. I sighed. I had just gotten the female version of Felix. Just that she needed more money to replenish that makeup kit. She probably ferreted it out from my bag and used it while I was still in the bath.

“If you want it so much then take it.” I didn’t use it much anyway. Maybe if I didn’t give it to her she would kick up a big ruckus like Felix. Most likely on a lower scale. Felix would probably leave bullet marks all over the room. Bang bang bang. And I would have to pay for it. Not to mention it might hit someone and then there would be a real pool of blood on the nice shiny tiled floor. The most Mandy could do was to set fire and leave claw marks around.

I walked over, sat beside Chick and Speary, put my hand over them and began to heal and read their memories to discover what had happened. While their wounds were healing, I found out the truth. When I was done, I stood up and sat on a bed.

“Initiate.”

“Ahem! Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, gays and lesbians, autistics and dyslexics, perverts and rapists, pokemon and people, humble and proud, straights and unstraights, welcome to the…” A drum appeared out of nowhere and Mandy was playing a drum roll. “Show of Little Red Riding Hood: Reborn! It is made by pokemon, performed by pokemon, directed by pokemon, thought up by pokemon, produced by Felix Corporation and translated by projector and laptop and screen. Enjoy the show!” The Pikachu at the side of the “stage”(which was defined by an area that had stealthily been cordoned off while I was listening to Felix: I could read his mind to tell what had happened) ran out of the “stage”.

Speary pecked a couple of times at something near the top deck of the bed opposite me and a screen unfurled and an projecter instantly switched on on the bed above me. For an impromptu performance, it was efficient that everything was done during Felix’s speech.

Immediately Mandy strutted onto stage. Chick was fuming by the sidelines. Apparently Chick was supposed to be Red Riding Hood but Mandy was thought to be better because she could remember the lines and also do some other things that were better than what Chick could do.

:::Felix:::

Controlling the laptop and hitting the button as they say a line is hard. The translations appear word by word and with each word they said I had to press once. Precise attention. No time to rig up something to do it for me. I had spent a lot of time rigging up some things required already.

“Dum-dee-dum-dee-dum,” Mandy hummed as she skipped around the stage with a basket and a red hood. I had to click like nuts for this one.

“Today I shall sweettalk Grandma into giving me some money and sweets for bringing her things and visiting her. Hahahahahaha. And of course, I’ll steal the secret of her special makeup! Ahahahahahahaha!” 25 clicks. Damn. Mandy ran back in. Time to show part one. I threw a cube in, placed one with wheels at my side and picked up a remote control with some buttons and a screen while Mandy took over the laptop.

I hit a button and the cube next to me detonated, projecting a life-sized life-like hologram of me wearing a wolf mask(From now on I shall refer to this as I). I walked out like a wolf, growling, keeping my arms to myself. The real McCoy sat backstage, controlling the fake with a joystick and more buttons.

“Where IS MY LUNCH!?” I took a leaf out of Mister Maniac B*stard’s book. “I can smeeeeeeelllll foooooooood…OVAR DAR!” I pointed to a house that had been magically projected(Actually it involved a lot of technical jargon so you only need to know that I spent the whole time Rinoa was having dinner to do this) from the same hologram. I moved towards the house but it moved too so I chased it backstage.

I hit another button and the other cube detonated and a cardboard cut out house with what appeared to be three walls appeared together with a bed I shrank and robbed from the storage room in the pokemon centre. Speary was already in the bed when the dust had cleared. Great timing. The bed was right in the middle of the room with a desk on the left side of the room and a wardrobe on the other.

Mr Wolf kicked the holographic door down like some possessed sonuvva*****, gave a loud howl of, “LUNCHEON!!!” and chased after Speary. I finally cornered her in the top right corner of the room and my legs were right next to the bed. I grabbed her and ate her like nothing. In reality Speary just flapped and pretended to be grabbed and disappeared into the hologram and went under the bed where she could go backstage and take over Mandy. My stomach grew bigger. Immediately I began to search through the cupboard in search of clothes. When I I was done with preparation I dunked myself into bed and waited to see if more luncheon would come.

Mandy suddenly kicked open the house door without warning and rushed to the bed and began shaking me and talking like a madwoman, “Where is the damn recipe? Give it to me now you b*tch.” I denied to having such an object and proudly advertised myself as the wolf who chowed her grandma. Before I could eat her I was shot with a Desert Eagle. She then opened a window and yelled, “ Give me a ****ing axe you f*cktard of a woodcutter!!” When one did come she grabbed his axe and shot him, then carried on to slash open my stomach. A hologram of Speary appeared and she grabbed her by the throat and asked, “Where the hell is that bloody recipe?”

“The recipe’s on the desk,” she croaked feebly and a moment later she was shot dead. She took the recipe and left. Then everything disappeared and Mandy was pictured looking great and beautiful.

Speary flashed the “The End” message on the screen and we all came out and bowed. Just then we heard Brendan’s voice say, “Rinoa, there’s a play competition downstairs. Go take a look.” At this we all left the room.

:::Rinoa:::

Felix was over the moon. He was showing off his great inventions and propagating that he was great to have written and added sound effects to the play. I plainly ignored him and got into the bed on the top deck. The rest were doing a can-can together. Even though they won hands down, that didn’t give them a reason to deprive me of sleep. Soon, after threatening to stop feeding them if they make another sound, I managed to put them all to sleep. Only at 1am did I get peace and quiet to sleep.

I woke up the next day with Brendan attempting to break my door down. I quickly changed into my clothes(I forgot to brush my teeth and wash my face and all that) and headed for Mount Moon immediately after checking out.

What was the occasion? I was racing with Brendan and Serge to complete Mount Moon the fastest without taking the damned cable car or flying over it. It was to settle some stupid guy thing between them and I participated to ‘represent’ women in particular. At 10.45 sharp(After screwing countless hordes of wild pokemon and trainers) we began the race. We entered the first level cave and went our split ways. Brendan right, Serge left, centre for me. Soon coming to an dead end, I turned in Serge’s direction and moved on, following the route, avoiding trainers to the best of my ability, attempting to reach the second level. Serge was ahead, so I had to move faster. How did I know I was on the right path? There were trainers everywhere along there, that’s why I knew. Did you take me for a fool? And Felix had his nose taped. He wasn’t allowed to help out. You could never imagine how badly he was fuming all the way.

:::Omninesence:::

-Hoenn, Litteroot, a certain familiar residence-

“When are you going to tell her, Ruby?” Maria asked.

“When she reaches Cerulean,” the cold reply came.

“Are you crazy!? You know full well from your sources some trap is going to be set for her there!”

“Maria, if she cannot even escape that, god knows how she is going to beat the league, let alone me. And you too know that she will not live through the task we will set her if she is unable to pass this test. Even if no one did that, I would arrange one for her myself.”

“You actually know the contents of the test!?”

“…Roughly.”

“Tell me!!”

“Martial arts. Why are you so afraid? Have faith in her.”

“I do!” Maria broke down. “I-I-I-it’s just that I’m worried for her!”

“Whatever for?”

“I’m her mother!”

:::Rinoa:::

-Mount Moon-

I kept my eyes peeled for Clefairy throughout my journey but I could not find one. The journey was probably nearing its end(it was now 12 noon) and I was getting more and more irritated(my face was become more like Felix’s). The minutes ticked by and just as I rounded a corner I struck gold.

Three human-sized Clefairy huddling together. One was round and fat, the other had a…oh, forget it! The third one was perfectly normal. As soon as I stared at them they looked behind and ran for their lives. I followed, knowing full well that if I caught one I would be filthy rich. The road they ran up got steeper and steeper, and we kept rising. They made a sudden turn and I followed. We emerged into a large cavern that looked like the stage for something. The floor was rocky but not that rocky, there were fragments of rock scattered around, the walls were rough and the entire structure was shaped like a dome. Suddenly a huge rock fell and covered the entrance.

“PIKAAAAA-!” Felix yelled but suddenly disappeared. I smirked then realised the Clefairy weren’t here. No one was except me. I ran forward to the walls and pressed around in panic. Where was I?

Suddenly I heard a voice that chilled me to the marrow. I prayed that it wouldn’t be him and spun round.

Too bad for me. My premonition last night that I had gotten while drying myself had come true. In the worst way possible.

I was soooooo dead.

-End of Chapter 9-
 
Last edited:

Nylf

Well-Known Member
;330; Great chapter. I have a question for Felix. If Jack plays up once more, does he want to help severly maim him?(We can't kill him, it would ruin the joke).

;359;Serge and Rinoa sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G! Question to Serge. Do you like Rinoa? Question to Rinoa. Do you really really like Serge? Question to Felix. Do you hold any opinions on the couple?

;373; Well written, good length. Description I'm not gonna go into. Question to Mandy. Are you really that vain?

;307; Question to Chick and Speary. How can you put up with Felix and Mandy?

;249-d; Question to Felix Don't(Gagged)

;330; Just ignore Jack.
 

Felix Feral Fezirix

Densetsu no Pikachu!
Okay... I can't figure out who's Jack!(I'm guessing he's Mr Dark Lugia... he's going to become the next big chow...)
Thanks for providing some questions but I think there are some sensitive questions that will be conducted separately for each character so that no harm shall be dealt to anyone in anyway...(Especially Felix's opinion on the relationship. He'll be hung for it if his trainer reads his mind)

Guess who the guy is... if you can't thou art a fool.
 

skiboydoggy

Ski > You
;005; ;075;
Well, Felix... I dare say Rinoa is in lurve... Or something...
Anyway, for reviewing's sake, your fic is funny to a certain extent, but I dare say single sentences of mine are slightly better...
Oh well...

Oh, and Ski wants to know where Felix keeps his stuff.
 

El hariyamer

Order of the Green
Mr Felix T. M. Antpikachu,
Mr Oydoggy would like to know where Felix learns advanced laptop modding so he can add a holoprojector and where does he learn advanced Pokemon language translating, advanced holoprojecting (Grade A) and advanced theaterical language analyzing?
 

Nylf

Well-Known Member
;330; Yeah Jack's the Dark Lugia guy. OK, but I really wanted to know what Felix thought.
 
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