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Fic ideas V.2

Yami Ryu

Well-Known Member
I'm not surprised your sig is breaking the rules, with you posting a rule breaking thread.

There is a thread for Fanfic Ideas. Stand alone threads are for only one idea and that is only when it is a preview or asking for help, opinions, suggestions and etc, about a work in progress- and not an idea. This usually includes snippets of a prologue, chapters, characters and etc.


A boring generic one about a male pokemon coordinator whos brothers all own gyms around the region of sinnoh (Im gonna make new gym leaders for each of the gym's) or even make my own region maybe. And his companion's a tomboy girl who is looking to complete her pokedex not only normally but with as many shiny pokemon as she can get (a shiny hunter if you will) but also out to become the greatest pokemon trainer OF ALL TIME! as she would put it, by doing all of the gym battles. But then as a twist they also have a guy who wants to know everything there is to know about pokemon, his dream is to create the ultimate pokedex and becomes the best professor in the pokemon world, I mean this guy is so smart he even created his own Porygon. (and nothing went wrong, but his porygon did also just come out as level 1, as it should)

Yeah it pretty much is boring- it feels like watching some bad OT fic, thrown in with the anime. So smart he made his own Porygon!

Bill is smart. Bill made a time machine. Bill can not create Porygon.

This man is smarter than Bill? Maybe. This man have the technology to make Porygon? probably not. And even if he did, how could it be perfect. There's no way he'd have gotten it perfectly in one go. No genius does. Not even Bill, did.

And Bill is smart.

Ho oh and lugia time lol Pokemon explorers go to the places where Ho oh and Lugia are meant to be but after a long search they find no trace of either pokemon except for a pokemon egg, too large to be an ordinary pokemon's egg and both with distinct marking's. Later the scientist's at a pokemon preservation sorciety discover the eggs are the legendary pokemon but they also discover that the pokemon wont hatch until they are placed in a nest made completely of its parents feathers. Meaning they send a group of talented pokemon trainers to find the rainbow feathers and silver feathers that should be and are rumoured to be all around the region of sinnoh, but of course there are some orgonisations who are trying to get the feathers to get the legendary pokemon themselves. But at the same time some pokemon rights activists beleive the eggs should be put back where they were and left to "natures will".

First off get a beta or spell check ffs. I didn't understand it the first time through. Secondly, there are many type of naturalists and animal rights activists. Don't just lump them all together and think it's the same with real life. No. Greenpeace are retards who can't do crap. Then you have the Ecoterrorists, burning people and buildings, fun! Then PETA, who will steal animals from farms, but kill dogs, puppies, kitties and cats just to keep them from being adopted! Epic!

Or like in WoW; D.E.H.T.A or something. Extreme animal rights activists, so bad in the place where they're camped- you kill an animal you get a debuff. Go to close to their camp, they kill you. And what do they want? Oh the head of what everyone wants. Hemmet Nessingwary, if I spelt the genocidal causing freak's name right.

And randomly find feathers here and there? As what? fossils? Don't you know things rot, degrade, deteriorate, yada yada? So again- what feather. If it was simply a single item that was a myth more than rumor, that'd be more believable.

For the most part you really need to work on spelling and grammar. Secondly- characters. Plot. Actions. Plot. Characters ...

I suggest reading the Rules, and then reading Advice for Aspiring Authors, because you really, need to read both threads.
 

Jay star

Coordinator Lover
First of all thanks for the criticism even though it was a bit harsh and by the way my sig isnt breaking the rules, had it checked by a serebii staff official. Also as for the first idea, well this is a fan fic im writing you know so I could create a character who owns Arceus if I wanted and have him make his own universe, so having a guy whos smarter than bill isnt that hard because I would in the fan fic have the kid at least kind of well known for his inteligence.

As for the ho oh idea, well yeah reading it back I made alot of stupid mistake's but thats mainly due to my haste to post it because of my brother nagging to get on comp so sorry about that. As for a thread to post idea's I am so sorry I didnt see it but rather than just complain and try to point out all the rule breaks I've made, point me in the right direction instead of being a jerk. I made a mistake with where I posted the thread so sorry. But my signature isnt breaking the rules and if you had read the words to have a go at somone for having a signature that's breaking the rules is breaking a rule itself.
 

Yami Ryu

Well-Known Member
Also as for the first idea, well this is a fan fic im writing you know so I could create a character who owns Arceus if I wanted and have him make his own universe, so having a guy whos smarter than bill isnt that hard because I would in the fan fic have the kid at least kind of well known for his inteligence.

Hi, my name is Sue! I'm a perfect character because the creator favors me! I don't have to go thru any strife like other well made characters because, as my creator says, screw the rules, it's my world I can do anything!

I'm a flat, two dimensional character! Who cares! I don't!


Yeah.

As I said, go read the flippin Advice for Aspiring Authors thread, mmk?
 

Aura Master

Smell of Success
First of all thanks for the criticism even though it was a bit harsh

If she reviews your Fic then dont take harsh. Whatever you do, take her advice.


As for your ideas. I like the Porygon idea and i'd love to read it but. You didn't explain who would try to beat it or any of the main characters for it besides the geek dude.

Idea two, Im not good with PMD's so sorry. But it seemed interesting

Idea three,

(a shiny hunter if you will

Ok, be very very very careful with this. You dont want her having like 6 Shiny's for her team. You want two or three. Because, I think it's called Mary-Sue if she gets all shinys. A Mary-Sue or Gary-Sue you want to avoid. They are character thats are so special and perfect. Everyone loves them and they dont have any problems. Avoid it.


I could create a character who owns Arceus if I wanted and have him make his own universe,

Sure, write it. You can write whatever you want? Cool, you can write about nakid sex. No. Writing has limits. And you would get pounded on for by reviewers no one to read or someone to beta for you.

Gary-Sue


Create a character with Arceus and no one will ****ing read it.

Eh em.

so having a guy whos smarter than bill isnt that hard because I would in the fan fic have the kid at least kind of well known for his inteligence.

No, how about he was helped make it with Bill? Huh? Ever thought of that third way out instead of the yes or no to it? Didn't think so.

All of your characters so far are Gary-Sue. Ok. They are well known and made a Pokemon. How bout have you characters get framed for something to make it more mysterious than walking about and about people going "Hey it's the Geek!"

No. No. No. Ever since the "I can write with a guy that has an Arceus." I'm not on your side.

Think about your idea's then come back with nice cooked seconds instead of nasty raw stuff.
 

Jay star

Coordinator Lover
Hi, my name is Sue! I'm a perfect character because the creator favors me! I don't have to go thru any strife like other well made characters because, as my creator says, screw the rules, it's my world I can do anything!

I'm a flat, two dimensional character! Who cares! I don't!


Yeah.

As I said, go read the flippin Advice for Aspiring Authors thread, mmk?

Of course my character has flaws you cant just assume that the characters perfect, dude seriously why provoke arguments on forum's where you could just say it nicely without trying to take the rip out of somone's post its just pathetic. You assume my character is a gary stu because he managed to make a Porygon I never said it didnt take him ages and many failed attempts I just said nothing went wrong like with the first idea.

I hate people who assume everything and people who provoke arguments for no reason on forum's rather than just being helpfull, for crying out loud what is the point?

Anyway I posted wrong place, you accuse me of breaking the rules with my sig which I didnt, you assume my characters are just gonna be perfect fairy's when they arent, I retaliate which I shouldnt really do but nothing grills me more than somone who assumes blindly and people who just cant be friendly.

So Im gonna go read advice for beginning author's and you should go brush up on the rules.



Aura master - Thank you for your words of advice, I will be taking advice from what Yami Ryu says I just dont agree with the way she said it.

As for the Arceus idea lol Im not writing a fan fic about that hunk of rubbish lol I was using it as an example about how with a fan fic I thought you was suposed to write anything like I could write a fan fic (just example) about Bill discovering he's gay and has a traumatic stress including a pokemon and suddenly hates pokemon, goes crazy and tries to use his intelect to destroy all pokemon. Not saying im gonna do that cos im not Im just saying that well that is what I thought it was.

As for the characters how can you get gary stu from a guy coordinator and shiny hunter, never said she was gonna have loads, in fact I was planning for her to only have one and as for the geek guy he in my mind has LOADS of flaws. Just dont assume the characters are gary stus by only hearing what their goals are please.

I do really appreciate what you have said and I will take it all into an account, its just dont assume what the characters are like though I do understand most of that is due to me not really giving any information on the characters apart from their goal's and for that Im sorry, I will come back with a more detailed analysis of each character and a bit of thought put into all of the idea's for the fan fiction storyline.
 
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Aura Master

Smell of Success
I will be taking advice from what Yami Ryu says I just dont agree with the way she said it.

Good, never turn a reviewer down. Ignore the nasty and use the advice.

Harryheart for example, writes Max's Hoenn Journey, Yami trashed his several chapters and he trudged through it. She left and he recently begged her to review it again.

The more you excell in writing and learn more, the more successful and the more you will like her. Everyone calls it flame but whatever. Breezy, however, is the same but not as, *****y.

As for another example, Stabberz and his fic, Ritichies Hoenn Adventure. I told him from chapter one to proofread his chapters because of his run-on sentences and a ton a comma's in the wrong places. Guess what? Chapter two, just as worse, then chapter three, the lastest one. I blew my top off. He still hadn't proofread it.

Lesson learned. Come back to your fic daily and reply to your reviewers telling them that your working on this or that. And don't ignore it.

I suggest you read some fic's. I suggest reading Pokemon Crusade. Or Pokemon Revolution series. Good fics and I'll provide the links if you ask. That is if your reading this "advice". Reading the experienced fics give you plot references(dont plagurize) and new vocabulary.

So Im gonna go read advice for beginning author's and you should go brush up on the rules.

You've wrote something before? So you've had a written fic? But that thread has alot more on plot stuff and other things you should know. Make sure you read it.

Also when you publish your fic. Go to the Beta house for people to help you with your writing.


As for the Arceus idea lol Im not writing a fan fic about that hunk of rubbish lol I was using it as an example about how with a fan fic I thought you was suposed to write anything like I could write a fan fic (just example) about Bill discovering he's gay and has a traumatic stress including a pokemon and suddenly hates pokemon, goes crazy and tries to use his intelect to destroy all pokemon.

No, I kinda meant you can write anything that dosen't has Sue characters or floppy, crappy plot.

As for the characters how can you get gary stu from a guy coordinator and shiny hunter,

The guy has ALL gym relatives, therefore has an advantage at gym's. Try atleast one or two gyms

Girl. She shouldn't have more than two shinys.

Geek. Like Yami said. He is sooo smart to create something that a Time machine or Pokeball creator can't make.



Thats all i got to say. I've been at Fan Fiction for what.. Like almost or over a year. I know more than I should. Even though my writing skills aren't "Elite" I definatly might grow into somewhat of a writer.

Speaking of which, I am going to start typing/plotting Sunday for my new Fic. Im excited.

The fics I was talking about.

Pokemon Crusade by PkmnBreederJack

http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthread.php?t=263312

Pokemon Revolution Johto:

http://www.serebiiforums.com/showthread.php?t=207112

Pokemon Revolution Advent Phoenix: (in progress but almost finished)

http://serebiiforums.com/showthread.php?t=207042

.
 
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Yami Ryu

Well-Known Member
Of course my character has flaws you cant just assume that the characters perfect,

You wrote down only perfection for your characters- you give no hint that your characters go through strife. Don't yell at me for only being able to read what is there to read.

dude seriously why provoke arguments on forum's where you could just say it nicely without trying to take the rip out of somone's post its just pathetic.

You want to see me really rip into you? Post one of your silly ideas without following any advice.

I have made people supposedly cry- I do not care. I am a Critique. My job is supposed to help you get better. Not be your friend.

Or do you whine when your parents enforce rules on you?


You assume my character is a gary stu because he managed to make a Porygon I never said it didnt take him ages and many failed attempts I just said nothing went wrong like with the first idea.

Because he flipping made a Porygon and it's alive- does he even have the technology? Did he steal the programming? What? You never said he failed or had failed previously. You never hint he had even attempted before. You have it he makes a Porygon and it comes out perfectly! So if he did create crap Porygons, what happened to them. Did he heartlessly delete them? Is it the same one he's been striving away for years and years to perfect, ignoring the fact he could quiet easily probably just obtain one frol Silph Co/etc?

Don't yell at me when you don't explain half the hell you're characters supposed to have gone through.
 

Chagen46

Hell Crasher
Okay, I really wanted to make this fic based off of Infamous, with a Pokemon twist....

-------------------

My name is Je-toro.

Most people call me Jet.

I live in Kanto, in Pallet town. I'm a nobody. I work at the local Pokemart, but I wish I could do something more.

Something that will impress her.

Her being Trance. She was amazing. I've wanted to make her mine ever since I saw her move here a decade ago.

But, I worked at a Pokemart. She'd never like me. I would just live a pointless life, with my boss getting mad at me, and my friends, Taban Makarov and Ghost Marshall, always laughing and having fun.

Then I got that package. It didn't look like much, but that man had told me to transport it to a park nearby. When I got there, all the pokemon there started to fall over, doubling in pain. Then, the package glowed.

And exploded.

I woke up. Trance, Taban, and Ghost where right there.

"......Jet.....you've been blasted to sinnoh...."

I couldn't believe it. I was literally blasted all the way to Sinnoh? I flew across the ocean? That explosion must've been huge!

Then I realized something.

I should've died.

I didn't.

I fainted. I woke up 15 days later. Trance had been keeping me alive, and when I came to, she told me everything.

Apparently, the explosion I was in, was one of many. This chain of hellfire had torn every region to pieces. Not only that, but they had happened at the exact same time.

"What the fu-"

Then, I shot a lightning bolt out of my hand.

It was scary at first. I mean, I shot lightning out of my hand. Then, I slowly learned that I could do it for fire, and ice.

I could use pokemon powers. Flamethrower? Check. Aqua Jet? Check. Ice beam? Check. Thunderbolt? Check.

We headed over to professor Rowan's. He checked me out, very interested. He told us that my powers would only grow. Soon, I'd be able to use things like Dark pulse, Fire Blast, Blizzard, Thunder, SHadow Ball, Focus balast, Close comabt, Earthquake, Stone edge, and more. I was amazed.

Then there was Team Eclipse. They used to be a worthless gang; now they're more powerful then those other teams. And they were running Sinnoh.

Now, with my abilities, I could destroy them.

But, I could get back at the world....

I always liked the idea of ruling with an iron fist. I knew, of course, that would never happen, and I was perfectly happy with not being the God of the universe. But, with these powers....I could rule it all. Everybody would fear me...

I had a choice I never thought I would have.

I could save it all.

Or destroy what's left.

--------------

...Yes, I just totally ripped Synthetic's writing style. The actual fic isn't going to be written like this, though.
 
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niedude

Don't forget to grin
Chagen, sorry, but no matter how good or how bad what you posted is, I'm not going to even read it...

I am getting tired of people posting previews on the fic ideas thread...

If it happened once or twice, I'd be happy to ignore it and review it anyway, as I have done before, but for now on I feel like I should do this since it seems every week there are at least two previews.

And another thing: basing entire fics on games or animes, while amusing and aparently fun, it is only so in the beggining. Once people get used to the "pokemon meets Anime/Game X" scenario it really is all up to the story itself to get keep readers, and not the scenario.
Also, it is considered plagiarism.
 
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Both of you will you stop it, I thought we actually learnt from last time ¬¬ Clearing the posts but by continually posting instead of reporting really you're as bad as the other after the "This is not a preview thread" point out.

And that was a preview thus treating the thread more of an advertisement over getting advice on kicking an idea properly into shape. This is an IDEA thread, not dabble at writing at other's style in a mock attempt. Nor for insulting others when an error is pointed out. This plus it makes for an irritating read.

Thanks for giving me thread clean up duty first thing in the morning, really appreciate it. I'll also clarify on the first post.

Sandra
 
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Golden

2010
Hola. I have a an idea for a fan fic of mine. I've always wanted to write a fan fic, but I never did. So, now that I am a member here, I thought that I'll try it. Here is the idea:

Coin - a Drama fan fic about a young Police Officer, Henry Casper, whose Growlithe was kidnapped by a Pokemon Hunter who sells the poor Pokemon to Team galactic for testing. The story follows Henry, and his partner Ariela Torres, as he stops for nothing and no one until he finds his Growlithe. As the story progresses on, Henry becomes more ruthless and merciless, which causes him to lose his job and his loved ones. But, he still tries to find his kidnapped Growlithe. Will Henry save his Growlithe before it's too late? How will the consequences of his ruthless actions catch up with him? Will he ever learn a thing or two about mercy?

Yeah, the title may seem strange, but their is a lot of symbolism behind it that I don't want to give away yet. Currently, I'm working on the prologue. I just wanted to see if others liked the idea before I went on with writing it.
 

pepperedfox

who's this n00b??
There's been this major epic fic idea in my head lately xD; I really need help on routing out some of the cliche-ness in it though. Well, anyway, here's the rambling summary of the idea:

The story takes place around ten years after Cipher was defeated in Pokemon XD. During that time, Cipher has managed to crawl out of their hiding holes and create a new, all-improved Shadow Pokemon known as XD002. With this Pokemon, and the help of Teams Rocket and Galactic, they manage to take over most of Sinnoh and Orre.

Of course, this changes everyday life since Cipher happens to be a totally control-freak organization. The Gym Leaders and Elite Four are forced into exile, declared public enemies by the new Cipher government, and the Pokemon League is snappily renamed the Council of Three, which consists of the leaders from the three organizations. Pokemon Trainers are split into two types: Registered (people who bought licenses and Shadow Pokemon from Cipher) and the Outlaws (exact opposites of the Registered Trainers.) Outlaws are usually arrested/killed on the spot.

Wild Pokemon become scarce, due to over-poaching. Some species, such as Starly and Bidoof, are still commonly seen, while the rarer ones are thought to no longer exist in the wild.

As you would expect, there are pockets of resistance to Cipher. These resistances are usually headed by Gym Leaders/Elite Four members. And, of course, they are fighting a losing battle.

The trouble begins when a mysterious man called Gray appears in Hearthome City, claiming that he has found a place where an unusually large amount of wild Pokemon exist. This attracts the unwanted attention of several authorities as well as the attention of a boy named Lan.

Lan happens to be staying with some relatives (his cousins Ann and Evan), and is drawn to this stranger. He ends up getting involved with him (and drags his cousins into the mess without meaning to), and is forced to flee from the authorities with Gray.

Action happens here. When they rest at Oreburgh City, the three kids realize that Gray is a wanted man. The four get separated when a couple of bounty hunters catch up to them. Lan and Ann are captured while Gray manages to escape with Evan.

Now the chapters sort of jump between Lan and Gray. Lan and Ann are taken to Jubilife City and held in a prison, where the warden there thinks that they are Outlaws. He attempts to get information out of them about the location of some rebels when the rebels in question manage to storm the prison and rescue some of their people, Lan and Ann included. It turns out that the rebels are led by Fantina, who allows the two to stay in their base under extremely close supervision.

Meanwhile, Gray and Evan head for Snowpoint City, where the main rebellion base is rumored to be hidden. Obstacles stand in the way and all that, but in the end they manage to make it there. At that point, after settling in and all that, Gray is revealed to be the legendary Snagger called Wes (so LoTR, I know...)

This is where things get muddled. Somehow, Lan and Ann are going to reunite with their cousin and Wes. They also gain the trust of the Outlaws somehow and help in their effort to beat Cipher and their plan to transform Giritina, Palkia, and Dialga into Shadow Pokemon (of course, nothing will go as planned for everyone.)


... Comments? Suggestions? I would really appreciate it. (Feel free to bombard me with comments and complaints about the cliche-ness of it.)
 

ThunderMage51

Well-Known Member
I'll try this one more time... (and if I don't get it right, then someone better help that old grandma ghost after Kei and I are done with her.)

I got this idea about two trainers. One trained her Snorlax to use it's farts as a move and caught a wanted shiny Ponyta all on accident (All she wanted was the Ponyta six inches away from the weaken-shiny-Ponyta-that-she-didn't-somehow-see (I guess she was blinded by ember her target attacked her with). Snorlax Girl had a bad throwing arm that day, and was off by six inches on her target, causing her catch the shiny, and make about 937 people mad at her for catching the Ponyta.), while the other has a Mudkip and a need to hit to hit her friend on the head whenever she gets an idea. The Snorlax girl has a female rival with a Furret and a need to show she can train a Furret to beat everyone and make the Snorlax girl pay for stealing her shiny Ponyta. Mudkip girl has a friendly childhood rival that acts like he's ticked all the time and owns a woman one million money because of a bet he win his first contest.

Now, instead of the normal day by day, hour by hour chapter story, it just has random events in a random order. And, because I'm me, the Snorlax girl will say or do things that will be a ref from something, while the Mudkip girl will hit the other's head or say something that makes what she said stupid. Same thing with the two rivals (only Furret girl with hit the guy).

Now, plot wise, I really don't know what kind of plot it would have. All I know is, is that SG wants to give money to her brother (aka her family) by beating all 32 gymleaders (that we know of) and get into the championships and get in the top 8 and not accept things from MG cause she thinks it's for pity. MG wants to help SG, but SG is too subborn to accept it and helps SG do wants she wants while she wants to sight-see and make her Mudkip strong. FG wants to do that same thing as SG, but win them all and send pictures to her young brother so he can see the outside world without leaving home cause he's far too weak, body wise, to go and travel. The Guy wants to pay off his debt with the award money through doing the contest one and be able to find his lost brother.

The story might be told in Limited Third person (... I think that's what it's called) of the Mudkip Girl. Wow... it's all alone... Anyway, Mudkip Girl doesn't tell the events (I do, might even make me look like an idiot) and only Mudkip girl's thoughts can be heard, and that she can hear me and mentally hit me. Why? Well, I need a good hit on the head every once in a while for some good idea in order to beat someone cause they're too hard *coughfinalfantasyxcough* and because, out of all the fan fics I've read, characters don't bash the writer (expect in these two stories, but they were done by friends, so they don't count.) and that makes me feel unhappy. So yeah... moving on.

That is all I got. Bash away people, bash away, cause this is just some random idea I got after a disscussion at school about Snorlax and that someone should of made fart moves for Snorlax.
 

pepperedfox

who's this n00b??
Since I'm hanging around here, I figure I should review the ideas :p

Hola. I have a an idea for a fan fic of mine. I've always wanted to write a fan fic, but I never did. So, now that I am a member here, I thought that I'll try it. Here is the idea:

Coin - a Drama fan fic about a young Police Officer, Henry Casper, whose Growlithe was kidnapped by a Pokemon Hunter who sells the poor Pokemon to Team galactic for testing. The story follows Henry, and his partner Ariela Torres, as he stops for nothing and no one until he finds his Growlithe. As the story progresses on, Henry becomes more ruthless and merciless, which causes him to lose his job and his loved ones. But, he still tries to find his kidnapped Growlithe. Will Henry save his Growlithe before it's too late? How will the consequences of his ruthless actions catch up with him? Will he ever learn a thing or two about mercy?

Yeah, the title may seem strange, but their is a lot of symbolism behind it that I don't want to give away yet. Currently, I'm working on the prologue. I just wanted to see if others liked the idea before I went on with writing it.

Interesting. The development of this Henry character would be very interesting to watch. I see nothing wrong with this plot idea :D It seems like it'll turn out to be quite a good story with its simplicity and all (I find it quite intriguing.) BTW, If you need someone to beta read for you, I'd be more than happy to.


I'll try this one more time... (and if I don't get it right, then someone better help that old grandma ghost after Kei and I are done with her.)

I got this idea about two trainers. One trained her Snorlax to use it's farts as a move and caught a wanted shiny Ponyta all on accident (All she wanted was the Ponyta six inches away from the weaken-shiny-Ponyta-that-she-didn't-somehow-see (I guess she was blinded by ember her target attacked her with). Snorlax Girl had a bad throwing arm that day, and was off by six inches on her target, causing her catch the shiny, and make about 937 people mad at her for catching the Ponyta.), while the other has a Mudkip and a need to hit to hit her friend on the head whenever she gets an idea. The Snorlax girl has a female rival with a Furret and a need to show she can train a Furret to beat everyone and make the Snorlax girl pay for stealing her shiny Ponyta. Mudkip girl has a friendly childhood rival that acts like he's ticked all the time and owns a woman one million money because of a bet he win his first contest.

Now, instead of the normal day by day, hour by hour chapter story, it just has random events in a random order. And, because I'm me, the Snorlax girl will say or do things that will be a ref from something, while the Mudkip girl will hit the other's head or say something that makes what she said stupid. Same thing with the two rivals (only Furret girl with hit the guy).

Now, plot wise, I really don't know what kind of plot it would have. All I know is, is that SG wants to give money to her brother (aka her family) by beating all 32 gymleaders (that we know of) and get into the championships and get in the top 8 and not accept things from MG cause she thinks it's for pity. MG wants to help SG, but SG is too subborn to accept it and helps SG do wants she wants while she wants to sight-see and make her Mudkip strong. FG wants to do that same thing as SG, but win them all and send pictures to her young brother so he can see the outside world without leaving home cause he's far too weak, body wise, to go and travel. The Guy wants to pay off his debt with the award money through doing the contest one and be able to find his lost brother.

The story might be told in Limited Third person (... I think that's what it's called) of the Mudkip Girl. Wow... it's all alone... Anyway, Mudkip Girl doesn't tell the events (I do, might even make me look like an idiot) and only Mudkip girl's thoughts can be heard, and that she can hear me and mentally hit me. Why? Well, I need a good hit on the head every once in a while for some good idea in order to beat someone cause they're too hard *coughfinalfantasyxcough* and because, out of all the fan fics I've read, characters don't bash the writer (expect in these two stories, but they were done by friends, so they don't count.) and that makes me feel unhappy. So yeah... moving on.

That is all I got. Bash away people, bash away, cause this is just some random idea I got after a disscussion at school about Snorlax and that someone should of made fart moves for Snorlax.

... "Snorlax, use Fart! 8D"

*Shotshot* I'm sorry, I couldn't resist.

I had to read through your summary a few times since it was slightly confusing. The characters are rather... unique xD; I can see this becoming a comedic story, nothing really serious. Perhaps you could make the shiny Ponyta part of the central conflict for the plot?
 

Chagen46

Hell Crasher
So, people know he's a half demon and comment on it?

Personally, if people knew he was half demon they would do two things:
-Run away from him, or
-Burn him at the stake.

Not comment on how it is impossible for him to be what he is.

Only people close to him know he's a half-demon. After all, it's not like you just tell people that when you first meet them.
Oh, and before I forget, Succubus and Incubus hold no seduction power whatsoever. They are purely rapists.
There is no way in hell (stupid pun intended) that he would have the pwoers to be a walking chick magnet.
And even if they had those powers, Incubus rape both men and woman, and in your logic they would be able to seduce both men and woman.
So, he wouldn't be a walking chick magnet, more like a walking sex magnet.

This story is not that serious. I wasn't trying to be realistic and portray demons correctly. I made Lucius a half-demon just to give him an interesting quirk. Since this is a comedy story, I thought I didn't have to be very realistic.

I probably wont write it anyway, I'm mainly going to focus on Absence of Justice and Stupidity Loves Company.
 

ThunderMage51

Well-Known Member
... "Snorlax, use Fart! 8D"

*Shotshot* I'm sorry, I couldn't resist.

I had to read through your summary a few times since it was slightly confusing. The characters are rather... unique xD; I can see this becoming a comedic story, nothing really serious. Perhaps you could make the shiny Ponyta part of the central conflict for the plot?

"Where's my gas mask?!"

Sorry about that... I skipped key words and made words different words, and I didn't make it that way, it's just how my brain and eyes work, stupidly, together.

They're unique? I only wanted them to be sort of different from the video games/anime people. Guess they're a little far too unique...

Comedy? Yes, I can do that without making me sound stupid (wait... I already done that a few times). I didn't think the shiny could become part of the conflict, yet it sounds like a good idea. I should do it. Thanks pepperedfox!
 

Truly Deceptive

It is I: ME!
I have an idea called Pokemon: Armageddon Tournament. It's about this 13-year old kid that's one of the few Pokemon Masters in the world and has been battling since he was 5. He's accomplished awesome feats, such as beating the Kanto and Johto Leagues each in one day. He, along with some other Masters that have beaten every League and Mt. Battle, like him, has been invited to an island even further away from civilization than Faraway Island to compete in a tournament. It takes place in the summer, and the competitors each have dorms while they're in the tournament. The plot will even have some crimes in it, and even some murder, thus it is rated PG-13.
 

Aura Master

Smell of Success
I like the idea Poke legend, but just take out one little part

I have an idea called Pokemon: Armageddon Tournament. It's about this 13-year old kid that's one of the few Pokemon Masters in the world and has been battling since he was 5. He's accomplished awesome feats, such as beating the Kanto and Johto Leagues each in one day. He, along with some other Masters that have beaten every League and Mt. Battle, like him,

Just take that part out and you will be fine ;)

Theres alot of Gary-Sue in your story. You can't beat 2 leagues in a day. He is not the master of time. Just take that part out of the whole story and I'd read it.
 

Truly Deceptive

It is I: ME!
Erm, actually, he just beat Kanto in 1 day and Johto in another day. But fine, He'll have beaten each of them in a week. Emphasis on EACH. Also, the other few masters did the same, or at least similarly, and he has lost a few times before, like the other masters.

Edit: Or even better. All he needs to qualify is simply beating the Kanto, Johto, Hoenn, and Sinnoh Leagues. Plus although he has beaten Mt. Battle, he hasn't beaten either Battle Frontiers.

There. Less perfect hero, less Gary-Stu. Better?
 
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Aura Master

Smell of Success
Erm, actually, he just beat Kanto in 1 day and Johto in another day. But fine, He'll have beaten each of them in a week. Emphasis on EACH. Also, the other few masters did the same, or at least similarly, and he has lost a few times before, like the other masters.

Edit: Or even better. All he needs to qualify is simply beating the Kanto, Johto, Hoenn, and Sinnoh Leagues. Plus although he has beaten Mt. Battle, he hasn't beaten either Battle Frontiers.

There. Less perfect hero, less Gary-Stu. Better?

Why does everyone insist on being the Champion? Seriously, it wouldn't hurt to be semi-finalist. Besides, If you were a Champion, why leave the league for a Tournament, while there are challengers awaiting you.

Beating all the leagues is plain out Gary-Sue and shows he is so powerful. He's been battling since he could barely talk at age 5. He has beaten Mt. Battle.

Seriously, He has beaten what like, 30 people no loss? That's a little bit too good to be true.

Losing a Gym Battle dosen't make him Un-Sue ish.

he hasn't beaten either Battle Frontiers.

I'm suprised at how he had the time for 4 leagues and didn't have time for the BF.

Ask yourself a question for a moment,

How does a Champion of Kanto, compete in the Johto league or any other, without leaving his spot? You can't resign or theres no point in being in the league.

Ok, since you didn't understand what I said the first time. I'll leave you to other people.
 
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