mrbrightside69
*The Water Warrior*
Ok so i just finished the first chapter of a fanfic i was planning on writing. This is my first attmept and i was hoping to get some constructive criticism. I know it' s probably not the best but heres the first chapter.
Chapter One: A corsola connection
Christopher sat anxiously in front of a small black computer monitor, green eyes locked on the screen. The excited twelve year old pushed hid small blue rimmed glasses higher on the bridge of his nose. He had been patiently awaiting the download to finish.
Ninety eight, ninety nine, one hundred percent,” “it’s finally finished. He was referring to the upgrades he had been downloading to his Navtec device. Dextec was a wonderful program that acted just like the pokedex item new trainers received before starting their journeys. Christopher unhooked the gray USB cord, and flipped open the pearly white handheld device. It featured two touch screens, e-mail compatibility, radio, and was able to download many programs from the featured website. He touched the newly added poke ball icon, and it indeed brought up the newly added software. There was just one slight problem; he had no pokemon to scan. The twelve year old had yet to receive a pokemon.
That was all about to change, for his older sister was out at this very second, capturing him a pokemon. He had longed to start his own pokemon journey ever since he watched his sister in the Johto league finals five years ago. She was a great trainer in her own right, only retiring to take care of Christopher. His parents had gone missing when he was eight years old. After two years of no leads, the police ruled it as a cold case. Christopher sat up on many restless nights wondering if his parents were still alive, if they still cared about him. He kept hope alive that he would one day meet back with his mother and father.
Christopher began wondering what type of pokemon his sister would bring him. Maybe a feisty Growlithe, or a fluffy Marreep, or even a tough Machop. Whatever pokemon he received he knew he would be happy. His sister favored water types, so most likely he’ll receive a pokemon that falls under that category.
Christopher heard the distinct sound of the old oak door open, and then close immediately after. He knew this must be his older sister returning with his pokemon. It felt like butterflies were flying around in his stomach, as his nerves began to get the best of him.
Just then he heard a soft voice call out from the other end of their small, two bedroom home. “Christopher, I’m home.” “Would you mind coming in the kitchen? I have something for you.”
“Just a minute, I need to get dressed.” He said as he glanced down at his baggy lounge pants. He slid on the hardwood floors, coming to an abrupt stop in front of his open closet door. He snatched a dark green hooded sweatshirt and pulled it over his slender frame, as wells as a pair of khaki cargo shorts that were resting on the end of his unmade twin sized bed. Messy jet black hair was quickly covered by a navy blue cadet hair that bore a Starmie pin as he rushed out of his bedroom door.
He made his way down the long, narrow hallway, line with family portraits as well as a stand alone of his mother with her very first pokemon, which happened to be a Squirtle. It seemed that the family specialty was indeed water types. He quickly entered the large open dining room, and immediately it caught his eye. There sat a red and white sphere, in plain view. This had to be it. This was indefinitely his first pokemon. Once more he had the utter feeling of butterflies flying freely in his stomach.
“Well don’t just stand there, go on check it out.” said a woman in her mid twenties. She wiped her flour stained hands on her apron, as she directed him with her piercing blue eyes towards the small poke ball. She was what most young men would think of as attractive, yet she never let it get to her head.
Christopher stared at his older sister for a minute as she stood next to the stove. This was a rare sight indeed, for his sister usually left all the cooking to the microwave, and he had the memories of bitter soups and stiff fish sticks to prove it. He shook the thought out of his head and once more focused on the poke ball.
“So…is this…for….me?” he began as he took a seat in the small wooden chair directly across from the poke ball.
“Yep it’s all yours, caught it this morning just for you.” She pulled the apron off, revealing a periwinkle colored sun dress, and took the seat nearest her younger brother at the small table meant for two. “Now go on, check it out already, or I might just keep it for myself.” She let out a small chuckle before placing the small sphere into her brother’s hand.
Christopher accepted the sphere, and attempted to release the inhabitant, but nothing happened. “What the deuce.” He immediately tossed the poke ball into the air and was surprised to see a silhouette of white light materialize from the ball. He knew immediately upon release what type of pokemon this was. It was a small, pink, coral shaped pokemon with a whit underbelly scattered in a unique pattern.
“Cors, corsa, Cor so la…” the small pokemon began.
Christopher reached into his back pocket, pulling out the small Navtec device. His hands were shaking out of excitement as he scanned his new pokemon.
“Corsola, the coral pokemon. The points on its head absorb nutrients from clean water; they cannot survive in polluted waters. If one of its branches falls off, it will grow back over night.” Said the small device.
Christopher knew his sister would come through for him never letting him down in the past. He turned towards his sister and smiled a toothy smile. “Thank you so much, I love you Lillian.”
He knelt on one knee and looked into the eyes of the excited pokemon. “Hi there, I’m Christopher, and I guess I’m your new trainer.”
The small pokemon let out a cry of happiness before jumping into his arms. “Corsa, Cor so la.” It began as if singing.
He once more offered praise towards his older sister, “I really don’t know what to say.”
She smiled, “Just say you’ll take care of Corsola, and you’ll treat her with love and respect.”
“Oh you just wait, were going to win so many battles together.” He smiled towards his new pal before returning her into the poke ball. The same white light that released her immediately sucked the pokemon into the small sphere. “I wonder what it’s like in there.” He thought to himself before placing the ball on the wooden table.
“Well I guess it’s time I get going. Violet City is a good ways away.” He grabbed his small tan messenger bag and threw it over his right shoulder, attaching his poke ball to the strap. He grabbed his blue and white moccasins off the small welcome mat in front of the large front door before returning to the kitchen.
“Well you better head to the poke mart before leaving town, and I packed you enough food for a day or so, oh and one more thing.” She reached into a small drawer next to the stove and pulled out a white envelope, as well as oddly colored poke ball. It was blue with two red circles on the top and white on the bottom. “This is enough money to last you a week or so, and this is something special to me.” She was referring to the lure ball that occupied her right hand. “Mom gave this to me before she went missing, and I know you’ll use it well.” She handed the items towards her younger brother and immediately began to tear up. “I’m going to miss you, you better e-mail me, and I know you’ll make it to the Johto league.”
Christopher embraced his sister in a brief hug before stuffing both the envelope and lure ball into his bag. He waved once more to his sister and walked the short distance to the oak door. He pushed the heavy door open and exited into the bright and sunny atmosphere of Cherrygrove City. He glanced once more towards the home he knew for twelve years, it was time for him to make a name for himself. He knew he would do big things, no longer was he just Christopher McKinnon from Cherrygrove city, he was Christopher McKinnon, pokemon trainer.
He walked down the dusty dirt road towards the large blue skyscraper on the other side of town. It was about a fifteen minute walk from his house to the poke mart. He was yearning for some company, and took this opportunity to release Corsola. He tossed the poke ball into the air and out cam Corsola in a fulmination of bright white light.
“Cor so Cor so la.” The young pokemon said as she skipped next to her tall trainer. She was just as happy to be with Christopher, as he was to be with her.
Christopher couldn’t be happier. He knew he and Corsola would be a great team. He turned towards the small spiny pokemon and smiled, “You know you need a good nickname. What do you think about Barb?”
The small pink pokemon jumped up and down as if giving her approval. ”Corsa, Corsola.”
Christopher smiled as both he and his new pal headed off in the bright sunlight towards the poke mart.
Chapter One: A corsola connection
Christopher sat anxiously in front of a small black computer monitor, green eyes locked on the screen. The excited twelve year old pushed hid small blue rimmed glasses higher on the bridge of his nose. He had been patiently awaiting the download to finish.
Ninety eight, ninety nine, one hundred percent,” “it’s finally finished. He was referring to the upgrades he had been downloading to his Navtec device. Dextec was a wonderful program that acted just like the pokedex item new trainers received before starting their journeys. Christopher unhooked the gray USB cord, and flipped open the pearly white handheld device. It featured two touch screens, e-mail compatibility, radio, and was able to download many programs from the featured website. He touched the newly added poke ball icon, and it indeed brought up the newly added software. There was just one slight problem; he had no pokemon to scan. The twelve year old had yet to receive a pokemon.
That was all about to change, for his older sister was out at this very second, capturing him a pokemon. He had longed to start his own pokemon journey ever since he watched his sister in the Johto league finals five years ago. She was a great trainer in her own right, only retiring to take care of Christopher. His parents had gone missing when he was eight years old. After two years of no leads, the police ruled it as a cold case. Christopher sat up on many restless nights wondering if his parents were still alive, if they still cared about him. He kept hope alive that he would one day meet back with his mother and father.
Christopher began wondering what type of pokemon his sister would bring him. Maybe a feisty Growlithe, or a fluffy Marreep, or even a tough Machop. Whatever pokemon he received he knew he would be happy. His sister favored water types, so most likely he’ll receive a pokemon that falls under that category.
Christopher heard the distinct sound of the old oak door open, and then close immediately after. He knew this must be his older sister returning with his pokemon. It felt like butterflies were flying around in his stomach, as his nerves began to get the best of him.
Just then he heard a soft voice call out from the other end of their small, two bedroom home. “Christopher, I’m home.” “Would you mind coming in the kitchen? I have something for you.”
“Just a minute, I need to get dressed.” He said as he glanced down at his baggy lounge pants. He slid on the hardwood floors, coming to an abrupt stop in front of his open closet door. He snatched a dark green hooded sweatshirt and pulled it over his slender frame, as wells as a pair of khaki cargo shorts that were resting on the end of his unmade twin sized bed. Messy jet black hair was quickly covered by a navy blue cadet hair that bore a Starmie pin as he rushed out of his bedroom door.
He made his way down the long, narrow hallway, line with family portraits as well as a stand alone of his mother with her very first pokemon, which happened to be a Squirtle. It seemed that the family specialty was indeed water types. He quickly entered the large open dining room, and immediately it caught his eye. There sat a red and white sphere, in plain view. This had to be it. This was indefinitely his first pokemon. Once more he had the utter feeling of butterflies flying freely in his stomach.
“Well don’t just stand there, go on check it out.” said a woman in her mid twenties. She wiped her flour stained hands on her apron, as she directed him with her piercing blue eyes towards the small poke ball. She was what most young men would think of as attractive, yet she never let it get to her head.
Christopher stared at his older sister for a minute as she stood next to the stove. This was a rare sight indeed, for his sister usually left all the cooking to the microwave, and he had the memories of bitter soups and stiff fish sticks to prove it. He shook the thought out of his head and once more focused on the poke ball.
“So…is this…for….me?” he began as he took a seat in the small wooden chair directly across from the poke ball.
“Yep it’s all yours, caught it this morning just for you.” She pulled the apron off, revealing a periwinkle colored sun dress, and took the seat nearest her younger brother at the small table meant for two. “Now go on, check it out already, or I might just keep it for myself.” She let out a small chuckle before placing the small sphere into her brother’s hand.
Christopher accepted the sphere, and attempted to release the inhabitant, but nothing happened. “What the deuce.” He immediately tossed the poke ball into the air and was surprised to see a silhouette of white light materialize from the ball. He knew immediately upon release what type of pokemon this was. It was a small, pink, coral shaped pokemon with a whit underbelly scattered in a unique pattern.
“Cors, corsa, Cor so la…” the small pokemon began.
Christopher reached into his back pocket, pulling out the small Navtec device. His hands were shaking out of excitement as he scanned his new pokemon.
“Corsola, the coral pokemon. The points on its head absorb nutrients from clean water; they cannot survive in polluted waters. If one of its branches falls off, it will grow back over night.” Said the small device.
Christopher knew his sister would come through for him never letting him down in the past. He turned towards his sister and smiled a toothy smile. “Thank you so much, I love you Lillian.”
He knelt on one knee and looked into the eyes of the excited pokemon. “Hi there, I’m Christopher, and I guess I’m your new trainer.”
The small pokemon let out a cry of happiness before jumping into his arms. “Corsa, Cor so la.” It began as if singing.
He once more offered praise towards his older sister, “I really don’t know what to say.”
She smiled, “Just say you’ll take care of Corsola, and you’ll treat her with love and respect.”
“Oh you just wait, were going to win so many battles together.” He smiled towards his new pal before returning her into the poke ball. The same white light that released her immediately sucked the pokemon into the small sphere. “I wonder what it’s like in there.” He thought to himself before placing the ball on the wooden table.
“Well I guess it’s time I get going. Violet City is a good ways away.” He grabbed his small tan messenger bag and threw it over his right shoulder, attaching his poke ball to the strap. He grabbed his blue and white moccasins off the small welcome mat in front of the large front door before returning to the kitchen.
“Well you better head to the poke mart before leaving town, and I packed you enough food for a day or so, oh and one more thing.” She reached into a small drawer next to the stove and pulled out a white envelope, as well as oddly colored poke ball. It was blue with two red circles on the top and white on the bottom. “This is enough money to last you a week or so, and this is something special to me.” She was referring to the lure ball that occupied her right hand. “Mom gave this to me before she went missing, and I know you’ll use it well.” She handed the items towards her younger brother and immediately began to tear up. “I’m going to miss you, you better e-mail me, and I know you’ll make it to the Johto league.”
Christopher embraced his sister in a brief hug before stuffing both the envelope and lure ball into his bag. He waved once more to his sister and walked the short distance to the oak door. He pushed the heavy door open and exited into the bright and sunny atmosphere of Cherrygrove City. He glanced once more towards the home he knew for twelve years, it was time for him to make a name for himself. He knew he would do big things, no longer was he just Christopher McKinnon from Cherrygrove city, he was Christopher McKinnon, pokemon trainer.
He walked down the dusty dirt road towards the large blue skyscraper on the other side of town. It was about a fifteen minute walk from his house to the poke mart. He was yearning for some company, and took this opportunity to release Corsola. He tossed the poke ball into the air and out cam Corsola in a fulmination of bright white light.
“Cor so Cor so la.” The young pokemon said as she skipped next to her tall trainer. She was just as happy to be with Christopher, as he was to be with her.
Christopher couldn’t be happier. He knew he and Corsola would be a great team. He turned towards the small spiny pokemon and smiled, “You know you need a good nickname. What do you think about Barb?”
The small pink pokemon jumped up and down as if giving her approval. ”Corsa, Corsola.”
Christopher smiled as both he and his new pal headed off in the bright sunlight towards the poke mart.
