Here's my fic, Flavour Enhancers. Tell me what you think.
Chapter One
It was a happy day in the sugar kingdom, a land in a glass sugar bowl on a kitchen bench top. The kingdom was comprised mostly of sugar houses and sugar castles with a few sugar skyscrapers here and there. The ruler of the sugar kingdom, King Glucose, was looking over his land thinking about how good he was as a king, but little did he know that what would happen next would shock and disturb him.
His video phone on his desk was ringing. He pressed the button and the picture came up on the large screen on the wall. The king almost choked at what he saw. His son, Prince Sucrose, was tied to a chair with packing tape over his mouth. He was struggling to break free when a loud, disturbing voice said,
“Good afternoon, King Glucose. As you can see, your son is enjoying himself.” King Glucose could not breathe when an evil figure stepped onto the screen and put a long, spiny hand on Sucrose’s shoulder. It was Lord Sodium; the evil overlord of the salt kingdom, an evil treacherous place that all people in the sugar kingdom extremely despised that was not too far away from the sugar kingdom, in the salt shaker on the same bench top. King Glucose was speechless.
Dextrose Saccharem was at his house watching TV with his girlfriend, Crystalline. Dex (as he preferred to be called) was fifteen and so was Crys (as she preferred to be called). They were watching a good episode of their favourite game show, “Wheel of Sugar”, when Dex’s mobile phone started ringing. He looked at the screen, it said, “Uncle Glucose Calling...” He answered it with,
“Hello, Uncle Glucose.”
“Good afternoon Dex,” Said Glucose on the other end, “I have a favour to ask of you. Something terrible has happened.” Intrigued, Dex got out of his chair, started for the kitchen, tripped over his foot stool, got back up and continued to listen to his uncle.
Dex stepped out of his Sugar Taxi Co. Taxi and started towards his uncle’s castle, but he tripped over the gutter and grazed his knee.
“Clumsy old you, Dex.” Was how his uncle greeted him, “We must go inside, there is not much time.” Dex knew his uncle was right, and they went inside the castle.
Chapter Two
Dex went over his uncle’s briefing in his head many times. His cousin Sucrose was being held for ransom in Lord Sodium’s Lair. He was to sneak in and rescue his cousin. He was now crossing what the people in all of the kingdoms called “The Boring Desert” which was actually the kitchen bench top. He was carrying a heavy backpack with all the tools he needed to gain access to Sodium’s lair. The weight of the backpack didn’t make crossing the slippery Laminex surface any easier. He had abseiled out of the sugar bowl and onto the counter. At first he was slipping over a lot, but now he had the hang of it. He was walking for three hours before he had reached the salt shaker.
He pulled out the special glass cutter the Priest of the Pepper Shaker had given him. The priest had come to his uncle’s castle beforehand and equipped him with tools and skills he needed. Dex licked the suction cup and stuck it on the glass wall. Like a compass, he moved the sharp end in a circle and a perfectly round sheet of glass came away. Dex stepped back as some salt came out. Then he pulled out the special burrowing machine the priest had also given him. He pulled the start up cord and the machine whirred to life. He got in the glass capsule and drove into the whole he had created. The big drill on the front made quick work of the salt and eventually he made it to the surface.
Chapter Three
It was horrible. It was like stepping out of paradise into a third world country. The streets were dirty and unpaved, homeless people walked around asking for money and old toothless women laughed at Dex when he walked past. It was quite dim in the salt shaker as there were only a few holes in the top with light streaming through. He walked up to man wandering along the street where the lord’s lair was, but he just looked at him with sad, bloodshot eyes. Dex hailed a Salty Taxi Co. Taxi and it took him the Lair of Lord Sodium.
The taxi pulled up next to the lair. He paid the driver and the taxi took off. There was a huge, rusty gate out the front of it with a sign that read: “Chloride Fortress.” It also said “Do not enter” in several different languages. Dex racked his brain to think of a way in when he eyed the sewer entrance in the middle of the road. He lifted the metal plate and started climbing the ladder down into the depths of the salt shaker’s latrine system.
As he was climbing down, Dex’s foot missed a rung and he fell into a pile on the cold brick ground below. He stood up, brushed himself off, and pulled out the map the priest had given him. It was not, of course, a map of the sewer, but a map of the inside of the fortress. He worked out that because he was in the sewer, he could get into the disused restroom on the ground floor. He walked along the sewer and before too long he was where he needed to be. He was below the unused restroom. It was a tight squeeze but he climbed through a large, unused toilet. He took a quick shower to get rid of the bad smell he was carrying, and he set off into the fortress.
Chapter Four
After about an hour of searching the fortress and narrowly avoiding being caught by guards, Dex finally found the room Prince Sucrose was being kept in. Dex opened the door and quickly ran over to his cousin. He ripped the packing tape off Sucrose’s mouth.
“Are you alri…” Dextrose started before Sucrose shouted,
“Behind you!” And just as he said it Lord Sodium leaped through the air and forced a 20” sword through the air towards Dextrose’s neck.
Chapter Four and a half
Sorry to leave you hanging like that but unfortunately I had to go and tidy my room. Now, where was I… of course the attack of Lord Sodium.
Dex quickly jumped out of the way as Lord Sodium crashed into Sucrose and both of them smashed through large window behind them. Dex took a sword of the same size off a sheath on the wall, went down the stairs and out the front of the castle. Dex started charging towards Lord Sodium when it suddenly became extremely bright. A massive human hand had taken off the lid of the salt shaker and all three of them were picked up, thrown in a bowl and knocked unconscious.
Chapter Five
When Dex came to he was lying on something brown and spongy. It was excruciatingly hot. Lord Sodium and Prince Sucrose were lying near him still unconscious. It smelt like chocolate. Dex realised he was on top of a muffin baking in an oven. Sucrose came to and then so did Lord Sodium. Both of them had lost their swords. Lord Sodium approached Dex and said,
“I don’t know who you are or what you’re doing here but…” Dex stopped listening and started concentrating on what was happening behind Lord Sodium. A large chocolate bubble was rising up behind him. Dex waited for the right moment and then Dex shoved evil overlord of the salt kingdom right on top of it. Just as he did the bubble burst and Lord Sodium was shot into the air. Lord Sodium started screaming as he landed in the flames below them. Just as that happened, the door of the oven opened.
The tray the muffin was on was lifted onto the bench top. Both Dextrose and Sucrose had the same idea. They started jumping up and down on the muffin’s spongy surface. They used it as a sort of trampoline and bounced right into the sugar bowl. They landed on King Glucose’s castle roof. They both started laughing and they were both happy to be home.
Chapter One
It was a happy day in the sugar kingdom, a land in a glass sugar bowl on a kitchen bench top. The kingdom was comprised mostly of sugar houses and sugar castles with a few sugar skyscrapers here and there. The ruler of the sugar kingdom, King Glucose, was looking over his land thinking about how good he was as a king, but little did he know that what would happen next would shock and disturb him.
His video phone on his desk was ringing. He pressed the button and the picture came up on the large screen on the wall. The king almost choked at what he saw. His son, Prince Sucrose, was tied to a chair with packing tape over his mouth. He was struggling to break free when a loud, disturbing voice said,
“Good afternoon, King Glucose. As you can see, your son is enjoying himself.” King Glucose could not breathe when an evil figure stepped onto the screen and put a long, spiny hand on Sucrose’s shoulder. It was Lord Sodium; the evil overlord of the salt kingdom, an evil treacherous place that all people in the sugar kingdom extremely despised that was not too far away from the sugar kingdom, in the salt shaker on the same bench top. King Glucose was speechless.
Dextrose Saccharem was at his house watching TV with his girlfriend, Crystalline. Dex (as he preferred to be called) was fifteen and so was Crys (as she preferred to be called). They were watching a good episode of their favourite game show, “Wheel of Sugar”, when Dex’s mobile phone started ringing. He looked at the screen, it said, “Uncle Glucose Calling...” He answered it with,
“Hello, Uncle Glucose.”
“Good afternoon Dex,” Said Glucose on the other end, “I have a favour to ask of you. Something terrible has happened.” Intrigued, Dex got out of his chair, started for the kitchen, tripped over his foot stool, got back up and continued to listen to his uncle.
Dex stepped out of his Sugar Taxi Co. Taxi and started towards his uncle’s castle, but he tripped over the gutter and grazed his knee.
“Clumsy old you, Dex.” Was how his uncle greeted him, “We must go inside, there is not much time.” Dex knew his uncle was right, and they went inside the castle.
Chapter Two
Dex went over his uncle’s briefing in his head many times. His cousin Sucrose was being held for ransom in Lord Sodium’s Lair. He was to sneak in and rescue his cousin. He was now crossing what the people in all of the kingdoms called “The Boring Desert” which was actually the kitchen bench top. He was carrying a heavy backpack with all the tools he needed to gain access to Sodium’s lair. The weight of the backpack didn’t make crossing the slippery Laminex surface any easier. He had abseiled out of the sugar bowl and onto the counter. At first he was slipping over a lot, but now he had the hang of it. He was walking for three hours before he had reached the salt shaker.
He pulled out the special glass cutter the Priest of the Pepper Shaker had given him. The priest had come to his uncle’s castle beforehand and equipped him with tools and skills he needed. Dex licked the suction cup and stuck it on the glass wall. Like a compass, he moved the sharp end in a circle and a perfectly round sheet of glass came away. Dex stepped back as some salt came out. Then he pulled out the special burrowing machine the priest had also given him. He pulled the start up cord and the machine whirred to life. He got in the glass capsule and drove into the whole he had created. The big drill on the front made quick work of the salt and eventually he made it to the surface.
Chapter Three
It was horrible. It was like stepping out of paradise into a third world country. The streets were dirty and unpaved, homeless people walked around asking for money and old toothless women laughed at Dex when he walked past. It was quite dim in the salt shaker as there were only a few holes in the top with light streaming through. He walked up to man wandering along the street where the lord’s lair was, but he just looked at him with sad, bloodshot eyes. Dex hailed a Salty Taxi Co. Taxi and it took him the Lair of Lord Sodium.
The taxi pulled up next to the lair. He paid the driver and the taxi took off. There was a huge, rusty gate out the front of it with a sign that read: “Chloride Fortress.” It also said “Do not enter” in several different languages. Dex racked his brain to think of a way in when he eyed the sewer entrance in the middle of the road. He lifted the metal plate and started climbing the ladder down into the depths of the salt shaker’s latrine system.
As he was climbing down, Dex’s foot missed a rung and he fell into a pile on the cold brick ground below. He stood up, brushed himself off, and pulled out the map the priest had given him. It was not, of course, a map of the sewer, but a map of the inside of the fortress. He worked out that because he was in the sewer, he could get into the disused restroom on the ground floor. He walked along the sewer and before too long he was where he needed to be. He was below the unused restroom. It was a tight squeeze but he climbed through a large, unused toilet. He took a quick shower to get rid of the bad smell he was carrying, and he set off into the fortress.
Chapter Four
After about an hour of searching the fortress and narrowly avoiding being caught by guards, Dex finally found the room Prince Sucrose was being kept in. Dex opened the door and quickly ran over to his cousin. He ripped the packing tape off Sucrose’s mouth.
“Are you alri…” Dextrose started before Sucrose shouted,
“Behind you!” And just as he said it Lord Sodium leaped through the air and forced a 20” sword through the air towards Dextrose’s neck.
Chapter Four and a half
Sorry to leave you hanging like that but unfortunately I had to go and tidy my room. Now, where was I… of course the attack of Lord Sodium.
Dex quickly jumped out of the way as Lord Sodium crashed into Sucrose and both of them smashed through large window behind them. Dex took a sword of the same size off a sheath on the wall, went down the stairs and out the front of the castle. Dex started charging towards Lord Sodium when it suddenly became extremely bright. A massive human hand had taken off the lid of the salt shaker and all three of them were picked up, thrown in a bowl and knocked unconscious.
Chapter Five
When Dex came to he was lying on something brown and spongy. It was excruciatingly hot. Lord Sodium and Prince Sucrose were lying near him still unconscious. It smelt like chocolate. Dex realised he was on top of a muffin baking in an oven. Sucrose came to and then so did Lord Sodium. Both of them had lost their swords. Lord Sodium approached Dex and said,
“I don’t know who you are or what you’re doing here but…” Dex stopped listening and started concentrating on what was happening behind Lord Sodium. A large chocolate bubble was rising up behind him. Dex waited for the right moment and then Dex shoved evil overlord of the salt kingdom right on top of it. Just as he did the bubble burst and Lord Sodium was shot into the air. Lord Sodium started screaming as he landed in the flames below them. Just as that happened, the door of the oven opened.
The tray the muffin was on was lifted onto the bench top. Both Dextrose and Sucrose had the same idea. They started jumping up and down on the muffin’s spongy surface. They used it as a sort of trampoline and bounced right into the sugar bowl. They landed on King Glucose’s castle roof. They both started laughing and they were both happy to be home.