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~*For that I'm Grateful*~ (One shot)

Typhlogirl

keep battling on!
I'm sure many of you have not heard about the cyclone that ravaged North Queensland in Australia a few days ago. It flattened many towns and left hundreds and hundreds of people homeless. I was one of the lucky ones who lived in a town that did not suffer too much damage. But I have friends who have nearly lost everything. I wanted to draw attention to the suffering of the people of those towns, so I decided to write a one-shot.

This is not meant to be a masterpiece of beautiful description and stunning plot. It's not twenty pages long, and its not anything spectacular. It is simply my emotions on the disaster that faced my friends and many other people I know. I hope you will enjoy it.



For that I'm Grateful

…the voices…

“I’m here live at the scene of what could possibly be the worst cyclone Hoenn has seen this century. The city of Slateport has been ravaged by gale force winds and endless sheets of rain.”

Why are they so loud?

“The markets have been completely flattened and the beach looks like a warzone. Stunned citizens of this city once famous for its gorgeous beaches are wandering about trying to comprehend what just happened.”

…My…my head…I…

“People are calling out for loved ones, houses lie in ruin and the pokemon centre here is nearly roofless. Pieces of debris speckle the streets and the gutters have flooded out onto the main road.”

Where…am I?

The young Growlithe slowly opened his tired eyes. Where was he? He could not remember anything other than the flying roof tile that had struck him down. His head was throbbing painfully, and his felt woozy. Looking around with some effort, he could see that he was lying on a sheet on the floor of what looked like a large building. Yet the grey sky sneered through gaping holes in the tattered roof. Chunks of unrecognizable matter lay spread amongst the dozens of unconscious or miserable looking pokemon lying in rows on dirty blankets and sheets. A well-dressed human was standing in the middle of the floor, having a conversation with a strange device another human was pointing at him.

“Where…where am I?” The Growlithe croaked to no-one in particular.

“So you’re awake.”

The Growlithe turned in shock to stare at the pokemon that had addressed him. It was an old Raichu. He thought. But this Raichu looked like a puzzle that was missing many pieces. His left eye was held permanently shut by a faded scar trailing from eyebrow to upper cheek. His right ear was little more than a stump and his tail, which should have proudly borne the lightning shaped tip, was a sad crownless prince. Yet the remaining eye shone with a violent intensity boring out of its ebony depths, and the single ear twitched for unfamiliar noise. He was an intimidating presence.

“Who are…what…where…” the Growlithe stammered, unable to tear his gaze away from the Raichu’s mutilated head.

“Relax. You’re in the Slateport Pokemon Centre. They must’ve found you on the street, because I watched ‘em bring you in. You didn’t look too good. Head was bleeding like a tap.”

“Bleeding?” The Growlithe lifted his paw and felt around the sore area of his head. A smooth, material surface greeted his questing claws.

“What is-“

“It’s a bandage. You were bleeding, remember? The Nurse wrapped that around your head to still the blood flow.”

“Oh.” was the quiet reply. The Growlithe turned his gaze to his paws.

“Um…I…did you…”

“…get these injuries in the storm?” finished the Raichu, lifting one eyebrow.

The Growlithe’s eyes widened. “I…no…I-I didn’t mean any offence!” he blurted out.

“It’s alright. You wouldn’t be the first to inquire.” sighed the Raichu. He pointed to his head. “These I got when I was really young. I don’t really remember it. This one however-“ he raised his black tail, “-was more recent. But I didn’t get anything from the cyclone. The only reason I’m in here is because I was stupid enough to let a branch fall on me. It knocked me out; the police found me and took me here.” The old Raichu studied his tail for a moment, pawing at the poignant stump. “I’m getting slow in my old age.”

“…You’re not that old…” murmured the Growlithe. The Raichu continued to massage his tail, expressionless.

“What’s your name kid?” he asked suddenly, not averting his gaze from its original position.

“My name? Er, I think its Laddie. My memory isn’t too clear. I dunno why.” replied the Growlithe, his confidence increasing as the conversation developed. “I think it’s ‘cuz of the tile that hit me.”

“Probably. You have a trainer?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you think he’ll come looking for you?”

“Oh, my trainer’s a girl. I think. And I’m not sure if she’ll come. I can’t really remember anything about her…”

The Growlithe looked back at the Raichu. “What about you mister?”

“Hey, less of the ‘mister’. My name’s Lekkan.”

“I like that name.”

The Raichu stared hard into the face of the young fire pokemon. Dried blood had made strange patterns down his pleasant face. He had lost the majority of his memory. And yet…he was still smiling after it all. Amazing. Such a change from the whimpering creature of past minutes. Young pokemon were such strange things.

“So why are all these pokemon here?” asked Laddie.

“Picked up off the street, either injured or lost. Half of these are strays that wandering into the wrong place at the wrong time.” The Raichu looked up at the sky.

“You know the humans are saying that a bigger cyclone is coming. Fast. They say it’ll be here in the next half hour or so.”

“Another one?”

“Yeah.”

“Wow. Are they sure?”

“I’ve be listening to the Nurse’s radio conversations with the Weather Institute outside Fortree. They’ve been warning her to get all the injured pokemon to a safe place.”

“Is it the rage of Kyogre? I remember, my trainer was telling me about a legendary pokemon called Kyogre, ruler of the seas. Perhaps he is angry.”

“Maybe so. But doesn’t the legend also state that he is in deep slumber?”

“Oh yeah. I forgot about that part.”

“Don’t worry ‘bout it. It’s not your fault you’ve lost your memory. Besides, it’s a mistake anyone could make with the legend of Kyogre.”

“But I feel that that could be the only explanation. I mean…it just seems…so sudden. Like one minute everything was calm and the next…everything went black…”

“Your memories are slowly coming back to you.” Came Lekkan’s soft reply.

The Growlithe rubbed his head and scrunched up his face as he endeavoured to unlock his memories. “I can recall…but it’s blurry…my trainer’s family rushing around to secure the house…I was accidentally locked outside…rain and wind were everywhere…and one of the roof tiles flew down and hit me…and everything went black…”

Lekkan silently watched the emotional changes on the Growlithe’s face. How much had he suffered from the storm’s fury? He didn’t know anything, really. He was completely in the dark about it. The Raichu returned his gaze to the sky. What could it be like…to lose your memory…of everything you ever cared about?

“It’s no good. I can’t remember anything.” Laddie sighed, dropping his paws back to the floor.

“Nothing at all?”

“Nope. Heh, I guess…I guess I’m lucky that I even remember my name. I’m thankful for that.”

“Thankful?”

“Yes. I may not know anything else for sure, but I still have my name, so I still have something.”

The Raichu stared at the Growlithe, smiling sadly as he watched the Nurse attending to other injured pokemon.

“How?”

“Sorry?”

“How can you be thankful that you’ve lost your memory? You’ve lost everything! So you have your name. Who cares?! I don’t understand you.” The Raichu said, collapsing on the sheet he sat on. “How can you have such optimism?”

“…I wouldn’t call it optimism. I just know that I still have something that I treasure. So I am grateful.”

“You amaze me. I could never imagine feeling that way.”

“But you can,” said Laddie. “You can feel the way I feel. Look at you injuries.”

“I should be grateful for my injuries?”

“That’s not what I meant. I mean, you’ve lost an eye and an ear. But you still have one of each. So you should be grateful for that. And your tail. You may have lost the lightning bolt, but you’ve still got the rest of it. Sometimes if we just stop and think about all the things we can be thankful for, then we can feel happier even in times of greatest peril.”

The two pokemon stared at each other for what felt like eternity. Then Lekkan dropped his head.

“I never thought of it like that. You’re something young one.”

Laddie smiled, and, to his surprise and delight, Lekkan smiled too.

“See how good it feels to smile?” the young Growlithe said, beaming.

“Ay, it does. I should do it more often.”

The two pokemon looked up at the sky. A timid streak of sunlight was peeking through the wall of oppressive grey cloud.

“See Lekkan? There is always light in the darkness. You may have to look a little harder sometimes to find it, but its there waiting for you. And when you find it, that feeling is the greatest in the world. And that’s something to be truly grateful for.”



Dedicated to the victims of Cyclone Larry in Far North Queensland, Australia. Hope is always on the horizon.


-;157;
 

Praxiteles

Friendly POKéMON.
This is really good, Typhlogirl. Sure, it may not be a "masterpiece of beautiful description and stunning plot", or have a length of twenty pages. But it invokes deep feeling in everyone who has suffered even a bit, and even those who haven't. The point of this one-shot is moving, and that's what makes it spectacular. Even writing-wise, it's quite good relative to some of the other one-shots that come into these forums. Description is good, seeing as it's a one-shot with a bigger purpose, the two main characters are well-developed, and it's quite good overall. Really, any flaws you have would be canceled out by your talent of invoking feelings in people. I'm glad to see even such a terrible event as a cyclone has been able to inspire you to make something like this. It may not be beautiful writing-wise, but it sure is great inside.

I want to congratulate you once again before I leave for a different topic. Rest assured you've moved me deeply, if not everyone else who will or already has read this.
 
S

Shadowcat

Guest
This really touched my heart, Typhlogirl.

It was amazing. I was just crying when I saw this piece of work of yours. I simply couldn't hold back my tears. It was absolutely beautiful and touching, and I loved it. I feel like I can read and read it again and hope that a cyclone won't strike Australia again. Yeah...

Still, it was beautiful and I loved it.
 

Kutie Pie

"It is my destiny."
OH IT'S BEAUTIFUL TYPHLOGIRL!

I love this. I was near to tears when I read who it was dedicated to. Oh I'm so sorry Typhlogirl. *hugs and hands tissues with cookie* The cookie's because you did this really well.

If my brother wasn't bugging me now, I would've been crying, but he made me angry. Congratulations again and I hope your friends and family (even those you don't know) will recover. Hope is always on the horizon. Always...
 

Timid Kyogre

Endangered Creature
This has to be one of the most amazing one shots I've read. Actually, the best one I've ever read. Ever.

That was really thoughtful. How you dedicated this to the victims. I seriously wish good luck to all of your friends that lived in a town that suffered the damage. I seriously wish I could help (Note: I get all emotional after reading stuff like these ^_^;; )

The idea was amazing. I'm speechless, this is just wonderful. Like what Pike Queen Lucy said, I'm about to cry. I'm not going to talk in 30 minutes, because my voice would be cracking and I'll cry *Tries to keep tears inside*

I seriously hope that it won't come again, and I hope your friends will somehow find a way to rebuild their houses. If I were their place...I...I wouldn't know what I'll do.

Amazing, just amazing.

~Timid Kyogre
 

Psychic

Really and truly
Oh, Ty, it was wonderful!
I'll admit, I wasn't exactly reaching for the tissues, but I could tell that it was really heartfelt and that you put a lot into it. What happened is another terrible tradgedy, and few people ever feel so close to the victims that they can write a story that's so emotional. It conveyed a strong message, and you brought it out very well- it takes talent to convey a great deal of emotions through a short One Shot that is mostly dialogue, and you have done it better than most people would.



However, as good as the story was, I am stil a reviewer (contrary to popular opinion) and there were still aspects of the story that needed work.

There were a few gramatical mistakes, though nothing serious. Mostly just missing commas;
“What’s your name kid?” he asked suddenly, not averting his gaze from its original position.
You need a comma in this speech- it should be “What’s your name,[/B kid?”


The Growlithe looked back at the Raichu. “What about you mister?”
Again, should be “What about youn mister?”


“I never thought of it like that. You’re something young one.”
It ought to be “You’re something, young one.”



I think there might have been one or two others, but every time I read, I get too caught up in the story to be able to find it. But anyway, one thing that was lacking was description.
Now, it is very true that in a One Shot like this, you don't need a great deal of description, as you're focusing on the characters' feeling a lot more. However, it could have been a very nice touch, and it could have a very nice affect on the story. For example, if you had started off at the beginning describing (not in a huge amout of detail, but a good amout) this poor little Growlithe in some run-down building, looking all scruffy and messed up, weak and confused, it could have given some strong immagery, because we can tell from the fire pup's messy fur and the bandage on his head that he's been through a lot. Even when you described Lekkan, although you told us that he was missing an ear, and eye and the end of his tail, I think you could have also quickly and briefly described the rest of him.
Not only could you have added some physical description, but adding more actions to the dialogue. I mean, you didn't need to describe each action in great detail, but you could have used a few more adjectives here and there, and if Lekkan is massaging his tail, you can add that maybe he was looking at it with wary eyes, and the motions he made with his paws were slow and gentle, etc. Nothing extreme, just enough for the readers to be able to really see the scene in their head, yunno?



To conclude, the One Shot was really, truely amazing, and it came from the heart. You did a great job, though it could have used a bit more work, at least with the description. Consider what I said, and keep up the amazing work, Typhlogirl! ^^

~Psychic
 
S

Sempris

Guest
This was really amazing, Typhlogirl. It touched every bit of my heart. I could really feel the emotions through the writing, and that's what writing is all about. You've done a wonderful job with this piece. If we had a favorite button, I'd be using it right now. >>

-Sempris
 
B

blossom

Guest
Ahh! That. Was. Amazing!

This is such a precious and beautiful story! I loveeee it. *hugs Lekkan and Laddie plushies*

I loved the message in this story. I can feel how you put your whole heart into this when I read it. I didn't cry, but it was very sad... but at the same time very happy.

I'm glad that you didn't get hit my the cyclone, and I'm sorry for your friends who did. I hope they'll be all right!

Anyway, spectacular job. This is beeeautiful =D
 

Typhlogirl

keep battling on!
^_^ Thankyou all for reading! Means tons to me.

.:pyroken Serafoculus:.
First off, I like your name. Secondly, thankyou so much for your compliments. I'm glad you were able to get something out of this. Yeah, I didn't write it to flaunt whatever skills I might possess, I simply wrote it because I felt that some attention needed to be drawn to these kinds of issues. But I am very grateful that you chose to read it, and enjoyed it too! ^_^

Pike Queen Lucy
...Wow. You were really crying? HOMG ^_^; I'm honoured. Also very glad that you enjoyed it as much as you did. Cyclones are sad things. ;_; I was very lucky in that my house was not damaged. Just a few trees, and tons of leaves in the pool >_<. But others have lost so much more, and I'm glad that you feel for them. :)

Kutie Pie
*takes cookies and tissue* Yay, I likes cookies! XD And thankyou for reading. Trust me, I know what it feels like to have a brother bugging you. -_- I KNOW QUITE WELL. But anyway. I'm happy that you got something out of this little fic. And yes, hope is always on the horizon. Thanks again. =)

Timid Kyogre
...best one-shot you've ever read? ^_^; Wow. But I'm sure (actually I'm positice) there are better ones out there than this little one. Aw, thankyou for wishing you could help. My school actually collected a ton of cans and supplies for the victims, which was good. Every little bit helps. I have a friend near the town who still hasn't got power after nearly a week. But they're getting there. I'm so honoured you were so affected by this (that was my intention). Thanks again reading! :)

Psychic
OMG! It's Psychic! Hello! ^_^ Thankyou for your kind words, I'm glad you enjoyed reading it. Arghz, I can't believe I made such stupid mistakes! *headslap* And you are right; it could have used more description. I actually thought that when I was posting it, but I decided not to do anything because I didn't want to take attention away from the main point. (No, it wasn't because I'm lazy! Shut up! >__> XD) I will most definitely heed your advice on the matter, because description is one of my main weaknesses when it comes to writing. But I'm glad that, despite that, you were still able to enjoy the story. :) So thankyou again for reading, I'm so happy that you did.

Sempris
Hi! Thanks for reading! I'm so glad that you felt emotion from the story, because that's what I as trying to do. I am truly honoured that it struck so deeply in you heart. I am very grateful for your review, so thanks again! ^_^

Blossom
OMGYAY! PLUSHIES! *steals* XP I'm so happy you enjoyed the story. Thankyou for the wellwishes towards my friends, I truly appreciate it. You felt emotion? Great! That was my main aim with this one-shot, and I seemed to have accomplished it, so hooray! ^_^ Thankyou again for reading!


Once again, my heartfelt thanks to those who read, even those who did not reply. I'm just glad I got my message across. ^_^

-;157;
 

SpaceFlare

insert custom title
Like it. This is one cool one-shot.

The message touched me. Sometimes, I just rush through my life. This is great work.
 

StrayedBullet

OMFG................
That was great. I too had loved ones in the cyclone that lost everything, so its nice to see you dedicate this to them. It shows real emotion, and personally i think it is how everyone in Australia is thinking of this.

-SB ;001;
 

Bay

YEAHHHHHHH
Hey Typholgirl! This one shot is really good. This reminds me with the New Orleans incident that happened in the United States a little while back. Anyways, here is my favorite quote:
“That’s not what I meant. I mean, you’ve lost an eye and an ear. But you still have one of each. So you should be grateful for that. And your tail. You may have lost the lightning bolt, but you’ve still got the rest of it. Sometimes if we just stop and think about all the things we can be thankful for, then we can feel happier even in times of greatest peril.”
Like my English teacher always say, "Look up!" Anyways, good job on delivering the message in the story.
 

Saffire Persian

Now you see me...
Aww!

I kept forgetting to review this story that I love to death. ^_^ It was so awesome your portrayal of optimism from Laddie. He's such a cute and lovable character. ^^ I'd definitely take him home, and his lines were pure gold. He's one awesome guy.

Nope. Heh, I guess…I guess I’m lucky that I even remember my name. I’m thankful for that.”

“Thankful?”

“Yes. I may not know anything else for sure, but I still have my name, so I still have something.”

Aww. ^^ Wonderful message, right there.
 

Kiyohime

Well-Known Member
Amazing...you're such a talented writer, Typhlo..it's a wonderful message and a good voice for the people of Australia. I hope you will continue to use that talent of yours to bring attention and give a voice to where it is needed. ^^
 

Typhlogirl

keep battling on!
Ah geez, you people make me blush. >_<;; XD

StrayedBullet
Really? So you're Australian? I didn't know that! I'm glad that someone who had loved ones that suffered in the cyclone could read this. Means a ton. Thankyou for reading. :)

Bay
Hi! Nice to meet you. ^_^ This similiar to the New Orleans incident, though nowhere near as serious. I'm glad you liked that quote, it was one of my favourites too! Thankyou very much for reading! ^_^

Saffire Persian
Hello! I'm so glad you liked Laddie! He was one of my favourite characters too. Well, there's only two to choose from >_< XD. Damnit, I feel so bad that you are reviewing me and I haven't reviewed your fic yet! That's it! I'm going now!! *runs off to review R of a D* Oh, and thankyou so much for reading! ^_^

Scrap
You make me blush Scrap, seriously ;_;. I'm so happy you enjoyed reading this little story, it makes everything worthwhile. And Innisfail is recovering, thankfully. So I am glad. ^_^ Thankyou so very much for reading and reviewing. :)


-;157;
 

The Great Butler

Hush, keep it down
Lovely, so lovely. Bravado and courage even in the face of such overwhelming adversity. This is great, certainly one of the finest oneshots I've ever read. And the dedication to the victims of Cyclone Larry came across as heartfelt and sincere.

I'm scoring this five stars, it deserves no less.
 

Typhlogirl

keep battling on!
The Great Butler
Hello! Thankyou for reading. I am glad you enjoyed the story enough to rate 5 stars ^_^;;. I really don't think it's worthy of that, but I am honoured you do. So thankyou very much! ^_^

-;157;
 
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