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Gardevoir, Journey Through the Netherworld

S

Shiny_deoxys

Guest
Hello everyone, I'm back. Due to the popularity of my last novel, The Life of a Hero, Pokemon Master, I have decided to write yet another novel, this one the other side of the story that I had previously written, following Gardevoir other than Darren. This book is copywrited by ERN Inc. as well. I hope that you enjoy this my second fic and please respond so that I can hear what you think about it. Without further ado, here is the table of contents and chapter one for your enjoyment.

Gardevoir, Journey through the Netherworld

Table of Contents:
1. Prologue
2. A New Life
3. Divine Protector
4. The Unexpected Visitor
5. Balance of Power
6. Enlightenment
7. The Ancient Prophecy
8. Unrest
9. The Final Quest
10. Love of a Mother
11. Transfigured
12. A Path of Forgiveness
13. Best of Both Worlds
14. Prophecy Fulfilled
15. Ying and Yang
16. A Constant Reminder
17. “My Friend! It Has Been Too Long!”
18. Epilogue

Chapter One: Prologue
Excerpt taken from Gardevoir’s Book of Life, the last chapter and beyond.

It was then, right then, the moment that I had sensed coming was at hand. The ultimate destruction was about to take place. My loving and honorable trainer, Darren Diamond, was about to be destroyed. There, in the cell that was my pokeball, I knew that it was now or never. The love that bound me to my trainer overcame my will to survive. I knew there was only one way for me to defeat this foe which was before my beloved trainer, and that was to make the ultimate sacrifice.

I had been having revelations for the past month that my trainer was about to be placed in a life threatening circumstance. However, I lacked the ability to communicate with him, as I had never grasped his language other than a few words. I tried desperately to warn him in many ways; affecting his feelings so that he would be afraid, refusing to cooperate, and eventually attacking an entire Pokemon Center staff. However, my trainer’s curiosity overcame all of these things, and he followed that horrible woman into the cave which held the legendary Groudon.

The time has come, I thought as I watched Groudon stand over my fallen trainer. Two large globs of magma drifted up from the floor of the cave and hovered in the air, held up by the power of Groudon. With my powers at full blaze, I forced open my pokeball and launched myself in front of my trainer. The magma fell from the ceiling at an alarming rate, so fast that I didn’t think I would reach my trainer in time.

Using my powers to their fullest extent, I created a shield of energy so strong, that the second I got in front of my trainer, the lava glanced off like a rubber ball off a rock. I was infuriated that anything would even try to harm my trainer, so I unleashed the full potential of my powers, turning my blood into a powerful energy that would give me near infinite power. I could feel my eyes burn with this power, and light shown about me. It was time to get revenge on this beast that had wished destruction on the one I loved the most.

In my mind I formed balls of psychic energy out of the air that was in the room. Groudon could not see these for it did not have psychic eyes. I thrust these psychic balls of destruction at the beast with gruesome accuracy. Groudon did not know what to do, for it was being attacked by an unseen foe. It stumbled and fell to its knees. I did not give up however. I pelted that creature until it could take it no more, and it fell to the ground with a groan of pain.

I could hold the power no longer. All of my blood had been turned into energy to protect my trainer, and I sank to the floor. It was so hard to move, and I hardly felt my head as it slapped against the rock. This was the end of my life, and I knew nothing could save me now. I felt kind hands support my neck and body, and I forced my eyes open to look into the face of Darren Diamond one last time. Exerting the last of my strength, I reached my hand up and touched his face. I had given my life to him, and he was the last thing that I saw. Slowly, I closed my eyes, and let the darkness take me.

The darkness was not harsh; rather it was soft and gentle. I felt it lift me slowly into the air. I still could not move in the slightest, so I didn’t struggle. The power was amazing, and my feelings were instantly calmed. A small burst of energy came to me, and I opened my eyes.

There was nothing but darkness all around. I sensed that I was moving, but I could not see a single thing. I held up my hand in front of my face, and even it was shrouded in this dark and fine mist. As I lowered my hand, I saw a small, bright speck in the distance. It was light, and my body felt as if it had to reach it. I felt something grab my hand and pull me towards the light. When I arrived I saw that the light was a doorway into another world. The Netherworld.

It was an absolute paradise. There was a lush plant life with rivers and waterfalls everywhere. There were people and pokemon everywhere, and it seemed too beautiful to be true. In the distance was a large stone building with large pillars. It was sitting on top of a mountain, and looked so huge that it seemed to be part of the mount it was upon. Although everything seemed to be perfect, but nothing took my breath away until I saw the figure that was holding my hand.
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There you go. I will have the next chapter up sometime. Thanks for reading.
 
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Hidden Mew

Fog Trainer
Great Start

I loved your first novel, which was wonderful, and this story seems to have give that same beautiful feeling to its readers. I loved how you described Gardevoir's death, even though it is still sad, as a enlighten experience with happiness, instead of using the wrong idea that death leads to an evil place. By its name, the Netherworld sounds like a scary place, but I'm glad you made it into a place of beauty. I can't wait to read the next chapter. Keep up the great writing and remember, you have a gift of storytelling.
;282; ;146; ;144; ;145; ;249; ;250;​
I am hidden, yet I am in front of you.​
 

Nylf

Well-Known Member
;330; Well, I can't think of anything to say. I read up to the Unown puzzle of your last fic(I didn't get bored, I read that yesterday and had to come off), and the battle between Gardevoir and Groudon was amazing enough through Darren's eyes, but seeing it through Gardevoir's eyes, it just took my breath away.
;359; Who's holding Gardevoirs hand?
;373; I agree entirely with S.F., that was amazing.
;307; ZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzz.......

I'm pleased to say Jack is still floating around in the oceans of Astra.

;330; Just finished reading your last fic. BLOODY HELL! Best fanfic ever! It never slowed down, rarely saw mistakes and the ending was amazing! You heard all this, but the Mewtwo bit at the end was amazing. I'm guessing we're going to find out why he/she turns up at the end of this one. Anyway I can't think of any more ways to describe it. Hope this one is as good.

;359; The story about Eve and Darren was really sweet, I loved it!

;373; I agree entirely with S.F. and Cina, since thay nicked all my ideas.

;307; ZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzz.......

Jack is still in the oceans of Astra.
;373; You can thank my Gengar for that, hehe.
 
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S

Shiny_deoxys

Guest
Thank you everybody for your responses. I'm glad that you like how this new book is shaping up. I just finished chapter 2, so here it is.

Chapter 2: A New Life
Beginning Chapter in the Book of Passing

It was my sister. It had been many years since her passing. We had been playing in the forest together when we were young, and she contracted a fever. I took her to the place where my parents lived in the forest, but despite all of the things we tried she got weaker and weaker. One day she finally gave up the hard fight, and drifted away in her sleep. I could remember that day as if it had happened yesterday. Tears had fallen from my face when I saw the body of my sister laid into the ground in the forest where we lived. A small rock was placed at the head of the grave to mark where she lived. But now she was right here in front of me, and happiness flooded into my soul.

“Sister!” I shouted, “I feel the greatest of joys! I feel as if it has been forever since the last time that I have seen you!” My sister smiled, and we embraced. She felt solid and real, not like the spirit she was.

As if reading my thoughts, my sister said, “Yes, we are solid here. This, the Netherworld, is not the place that we rest forever after we have passed our mortal life. Rather, life is an eternal progression, constantly changing. We work here like we did in our mortal life, but it is as if our old life was nothing but a dream. This time doesn’t mark the end of our last life, but rather a continuation of it.”

I tried to soak up everything that my sister was saying, but it seemed impossible. The Netherworlds a place of work and progression? It was so hard to believe. My sister, obviously seeing the conflict in my face said, “Come, you must see the library of history. It will reveal many mysteries to you and you will understand the world around you in a better way.”

She took my hand again and led me to a stone path. My eyes followed to where it led, and I saw it went to the large building that I had seen earlier. It seemed to be the only building that was in the Netherworlds that I could see save for a small house that was near the library.

While we were walking my thoughts drifted back to Darren, my wonderful trainer, and I wondered if he was still in danger. My feelings could sense that something was wrong; I detected a plot of evil against him in the future. It was then that I longed to be with him to protect him from anything that might go wrong. My sister grabbed my hand harder and pulled me. I sensed that I had been trying to go back to where I had come from.

“Sister,” she said. “You let your thoughts out too freely. Here in the Netherworlds we can communicate by thought. However, if you can not focus and contain them, they are sent everywhere so that anyone can hear. Please sister, concentrate on your thoughts.”

I did. I, being psychic, had great control over my mind when I needed to. My sister smiled as she sensed my thoughts disappearing from the air. “Now,” she said, “we go to the library of history.”

A short walk later and I found myself at the base of the large building. I stood in awe of the immensity of it. I noticed that the entire building was open to the air; the whole thing was made up of stone pillars that held a ceiling up, which made the building look Greek in origin. There were enormous shelves of books, so tall that they reached up to the ceiling. People and pokemon worked together in organizing and developing this area. It took me a moment before I realized that I could understand every word that the humans said. Humans and pokemon were communing with each other, it seemed like a miracle.

I was able to keep these thoughts to myself, and my sister didn’t expound on the fact that I had discovered. She just led me through the crowd to one of the large bookshelves. She walked up to a short man that was standing on the base of the ladder who was wearing a uniform.

“Sir, will you find the book of my sister,” she said nonchalantly. “It has recently been completed and we need to find out what her calling is here in the Netherworld.” The short man nodded, took one look at me, and then scurried up the ladder. I saw him scanning through the books as fast as he could, and after about a minute I saw a satisfied look come across his face and he pulled out a large book that was the color of the ocean. I felt a strong feeling of déjà vu come over me as I saw it. The ocean, I thought. The place where I met Darren.

The man slid down the ladder quickly and handed the book to my sister. She took it and thanked him, then guided me to a table nearby. Quickly she flicked through the pages as if she was bored. I saw in the pages times that had in my life; the good and the bad were all there. Finally my sister stopped a few pages from the end and she read the end of my story silently to herself. When she was finished, she reverently looked up at me and said, “You gave your life for him?”

I nodded. She smiled, for she was honored to be the sister of someone who had done something so noble. She turned one page over and looked at the page. I looked over her shoulder to see what she was reading. There was a small message that I couldn’t read because it was very small and the bottom was signed and had a stamp of approval on it. My sister grinned as she read.

“Well,” she said, “It looks as if you are to be the Divine Protector of your former trainer. I guess that is to be expected with you giving your life for his sake.” I took the book away from her and read the small print detailing my work and what I was supposed to do. “That job,” my sister said, “is the most honorable and noble of all work we have in the Netherworld.”

I looked up at her. “What do I need to do?” I asked. I was ready to fulfill my duty to Darren even now that I had passed beyond his reach. He was truly my friend, and I was wanting to help him any way that I could.
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There you go. The next update should be up within the next few days. And with that I say goodbye.
 
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The True Champion

Behold his Power
You are a great writer i loved your first fic and couldn't stop reading and one of my favorite parts was the battle between Groudon and Gardevoir but through her eyes is was much more exciting and amazing what she would do for Darren. The first chapter was great and you left me wanting to know who she met lucky i didn't have to wait long. That was great how you describe her sister death and you could see how happy she was. I also think it was very creative how you made that every person and pokemon gets their own book and has a job given to them at the end. And finally my guess for what her job is that she gets to watch over her trainer and help him any way possible.
 

Nylf

Well-Known Member
;330; Cool, well written and makes perfect sense having read your first fic. I don't need to tell you to keep it up, because you will.

;359; AWESOME!!!! Wow, my job is to just give S.F. someone to talk things through with, but a divine protector, wow-o-wow. Even the name gives the job awesome effect.

;373; I agree entirely with S.F. Speaking of jobs, I just tell him an unbiased opinion on everything.

;307; ZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzz

;249-d; I'm back, no thanks to your ghosts! Anyway, judging from what i read everything you have done ever is(Gagged and tied to a passing Suicune).

;245; Great, a rider. I think I will take a swim, just to get rid of him
 
S

Shiny_deoxys

Guest
Here we are, the Divine Protector. Thanks guys for your comments. I had a lot of fun writing this chapter and I hope that you have just as much fun reading it. And here we go.

Chapter 3: Divine Protector

“First,” my sister said, “you must take this and keep it with you at all times.” She opened the book up to the back cover page. Pinned to it was a necklace with a small silver chain that was very fine. The bottom of the necklace held a heart-shaped jewel that had a clear white hue to it.

I took the necklace from the book and put it around my neck. It felt warm against my skin. My sister explained, “This is a crystal that will link you and your emotions directly to your trainer so that you can tell when he is in need of help. It will also guide you to wherever he is so that you can reach him quickly to save him.”

I held the crystal up and gazed into it. “And how am I supposed to get to him when I am here in the Netherworld and he is in the Mortal world?”

My sister smiled. “That crystal will glow a deep crimson when your master is in need of your help, and then you are to go to the portal. Follow me and I will show it to you.” She began to walk towards the place that we came into the library. I looked over the world and saw that she was heading towards the small shack that I had seen before. After a short walk we reached it.

“Inside this door is the portal to the Mortal world. However, it remains locked until your crystal glows, so you must…” She was cut off because my crystal began to glow a deep red color. The door of the shack swung open and a strange force pulled me inside. The floor was a circling swirl of white energy and the room was covered in mirrors. The door shut tight behind me and I felt my body plummet into the energy. I felt warmth around me for a moment and then the sensation ended. I looked up and saw that I was standing in a cave, a cave that looked very familiar to me. I gasped as I saw the ceiling and floor and recognized this as the place where I had battled the legendary Groudon.

I realized that this was the Cave of Origin, and also realized that this must have been why new creatures were coming out of it all the time, since it was so readily linked to the Netherworld. I looked down at my body and saw nothing. I was invisible in this world, so the better to help me save my master.

I felt the necklace begin to pull me forward. Quickly, I followed the promptings of the necklace until I was out of the cave and flying over the ocean. I saw a large rain cloud in the distance. It was circular, and looked completely out of place. I saw the calm ocean water turn to enormously high waves once they were underneath the cloud. A sick feeling came over me and I realized that my trainer was in serious trouble. The necklace pulled me even faster in to the rain.

I had expected the rain just to fall right through me but it hit me just as hard as if I was mortal. There were still things I did not understand about being a Divine Protector, but I figured that things would come as I tried harder at it.
After about a minute I saw a large island in the middle of the ocean with the sun pouring through the clouds on it. On the top I saw the creature which I had given my life to save my trainer, Groudon. Magma was swarming around it and Groudon seemed to be calling out into the ocean for something. A large wave came from the sea and smashed into the island, taking tons of rock with it. I was panicked because I thought that my trainer was on that island, yet that was not the place my necklace was pulling me. It seemed to me I was heading straight for the ocean.

I tried to look through the rain, but I couldn’t see anything. Then, an eruption from the top of Groudon’s island lit up the entire area and I saw a small oil rig in the middle of the ocean. The necklace took me to this place and inside of it. The place was absolute chaos. There were pokemon battles breaking out everywhere. There were people in red suits battling with people in blue suits. I looked around to see if Darren was there, and I saw him up on a podium where two large men were battling. I saw him take a blue stone that was lying on the stage, and then begin to run for the exit. The crystal I had began to burn against my skin and I looked up and saw that the building was collapsing.

I flew towards the ceiling and surprisingly held it up. I threw it away and it was caught by the fierce winds outside. The cataclysmic battle between the two legends was now in full view of everyone there. I heard screams of people below as they witnessed what was supposed to have never happened again. I saw Darren running across the deck towards something. I gasped when I saw that he had dropped the red orb and it was rolling across the deck.

He was almost there when I saw a wave leap over the side of the rig and rush towards Darren. I stood in front of him and with the powers of my necklace warded off the dangerous waters. A ton of debris that the wave had washed up was now between him and the red orb. I rushed to it and used my hands to stop it from rolling off the deck. I looked up and saw the blue orb flying through the air. It bounced and then rolled, touching the red orb.

The two orbs floated into the air and the two battling beasts were instantly calmed. They returned to their slumber almost immediately; Groudon sinking into the rock he was standing on and Kyogre sinking into the ocean that he had made his home. The clouds dissipated at once, and the sunlight dimmed down. Waves that had been as tall as buildings immediately ceased raging and the sea was calm again. The only things remaining from the battle was an enormous island in the middle of nowhere and a destroyed oil rig.

I looked to my master and saw him being congratulated by his fellow humans. They had evidentially witnessed his power that I had known all my life. I noticed something odd however. It seemed as if the world I was in was fading around me. Everything looked blurry, except for my necklace, which I noticed was becoming more visible. In fact, my whole body was becoming visible. I soon was standing in the Netherworld, right outside the shack I had entered only a little while ago.

My sister was standing there waiting for me. I looked at her. “I have so many questions to ask you dear sister,” I said quickly. She nodded and began to explain to me everything about being a Divine Protector.
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There y'are. Hope you enjoyed it. Until the next time, goodbye.
 
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Hidden Mew

Fog Trainer
Wonderful

Those were two perfect chapters. I loved how you gave everyone in the Neathrerworld a book and how you made Gardevoir the Divin Protector for Darren. She is a perfect fit for a protector. I also loved how you added her sister to this story. I can't wait to see your next chapter.
;rukario; ;manyula; ;bonsly; ;manene; ;249-d; :snowlax:​
I am hidden, yet I am in front of you.​
 

Nylf

Well-Known Member
;330; Really, really good. Deep, emotional and explains the reason that almost all the little chance situations in the first fic worked.

;359; Bloody hell, if that what a Gardevoir does when it dies, I'm wondering what will happen when I have to get Jack from Rayquaza, maybe Gardevoir will help, since Rayquaza looks like it is in an Outrage.

;373; Damn, why am I always third to answer, when everyone else has nicked my points. Well I agree with S.F.

;307;ZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz......................

Still the undescribaly gory punishment of Jack continues.......
 

The True Champion

Behold his Power
I agree with what hidden mew said about the Divine protecter and the story works great with the last one its like were Gardevoir went after every time she help Darren. Kepp up the good work i am looking forward to your next chapter!
 
S

superfreak

Guest
Yo, I just got done reading your last one and I have got to say that it was cooool. I really liked it. I think you have been doing a great job with this new one as well. Keep up the VERY good work.
 

Felix Feral Fezirix

Densetsu no Pikachu!
You hid so much of what she did and I will bet Felix that you've hidden a lot of *other* stuff too. I can see what your concept of life after death is, because basic psychology says that people write what they want to, and usually what they believe in or what they want to believe in. Whatever. I shall subsribe to this thread likeI did the first! *Adds bookmark* There we go.
 
S

Shiny_deoxys

Guest
Well everyone, I'm back. So sorry that I took along time, but I have been writing a different, non-pokemon related story which when I finish, I hope to publish. *Sigh* the pains of being a writer. Oh well. I have been working a long time to get you this chapter and I hope that you enjoy it. I love writing for you guys and I am gratefull for your responses. You are write Felix, I write what I believe, or at least somewhat. Now without further ado, The Unexpected Visitor.
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Chapter 4: The Unexpected Visitor
A Day Later

Cool winds whipped past my body, but I could scarcely feel them. The weather was misty, and the winds made it look as if some unseen being was using them to show how truly fearsome it was. I stood next to my wonderful trainer Darren in a place that I never thought I would stand, at the foot of my own grave.

It was truly a beautiful funeral. All of my friends were there as well; Gyarados, Salamence, Gengar, and Tyranitar. Darren placed my body into the small plot of ground he had purchased. One by one, they all threw a small bit of dirt on top of my lifeless frame until Tyranitar gently closed my grave with a push of her hand. It was finished. My funeral was over, and my trainer was somewhat at peace. I closed my eyes and passed into the Netherworld.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
I had learned a few things since my time in the Netherworld. I learned that my trainer didn’t have to be in absolute danger for me to go to him, but his emotions had to be extreme. My emotions were tied to his, and the crystal that I wore around my neck was tied to me, so whenever my emotions flared, so did the red light in the crystal.

However, I noticed that some of my spirit had lingered with Darren since I had left him. My sister told me that it was common when a pokemon sacrificed for anyone there was usually a tie between them for a while but in time it would wear off.

I could sense through my emotions that he was having strange dreams about my coming to the Netherworld, where he would see my death through my eyes. It was very strange, for although they were somewhat accurate, they were chock full of errors and mistakes. Such is the human mind.

However, I had wondered what I was supposed to do the times that I wasn’t working. Darren didn’t need me all the time, and in the Netherworld I don’t have to sleep, and I had learned that time in the Netherworld went much faster than time on the real world. I asked my sister for her opinion on things that I could do, and she showed me to the library again.

She led me to a different isle than the one that contained my book which, like the other shelves, had hundreds of thousands of books. I stood with my mouth open as she led me down the isle. “Pick one!” She said cheerfully. “They are all books written by those who have lived here. Some talk of their life, some talk of things they’ve done in the Netherworld, and some are just stories made up by the people or pokemon that life here.

I took a small gray book off the shelf and opened it to the first page. I stood in amazement as it seemed the words jumped right off the page and into my head. I not only read the book, but I understood it completely. What seemed to be a boring story about an old trainer who pretended he could talk to a Sandshrew was interesting, just because I experienced it for myself. My sister, obviously satisfied, walked away to get a book for herself.

In ten minutes I finished the book about the old man and the Sandshrew and had just picked up another when I realized, hey! I can read! I had never been able to read in my mortal life, so this was a major excitement for me. I got the feeling that these books weren’t written with words, but rather with feelings and emotions. These books were amazing, and I couldn’t put them down.

After what seemed like hours I heard something behind me. I put down a book that I was reading about a Spheal in a circus and turned around. I saw something that took my breath away.

There was a swirling vortex of dark purple energy swarming in a pillar behind me. I stared at it and saw a white light at the top descend the vortex and rest upon the ground. The vortex of purple matter shrank and covered the light, and then with a brilliant flash it was gone, and in its place stood my old friend Gengar.

“Gengar! It is so good to see you, and for you to see me,” I yelled and I rushed over to him and embraced him.

He grinned and said, “It is very good to see you too,” in a deep base voice. “It had been terrible without you. Darren has been taking it very tough.”

“I know,” I said, but then I realized something. “How did you get here?” I asked him. “I thought you were supposed to be in the mortal world, have you died?”

Gengar let out a blood chilling laugh. “Of course not!” He looked me in the eyes. “Let me explain. When I pokemon dies in life that fulfills its destiny, it comes to this wonderful place.” He looked around and sighed. “However, if a pokemon refuses to take their destiny and dies a coward, they become stuck halfway between both worlds, which is what I am. Trapped. Not until I can complete my destiny, which will take a lifetime.”

A tear came to my eye and hugged him again. “You poor soul. I am so sorry for you.” He seemed to shrug it off.

“Everything is all right. I am on the right track to becoming unleashed from this trap which I am in.” He smiled. “Well, I had better be heading back to the mortal world, Darren let us all out for a while before we head to Blackthorn, I’ll tell the others that you said hello.”

“Wait,” I said before he left. “What was your destiny in your former life?” I was curious, and if he told me I might be able to find a book about him.

“I was a great Aerodactyl in ancient times. I had the chance to stop a large meteor that was coming straight to earth, yet I fled, and because I fled I died in the blast, and it caused the extinction of many pokemon. I have been trapped in this body ever since.” He said it with pain in his voice. “I need to go now.” He said, and before I could say anything he disappeared into his swirling purple vortex. In an instant he was gone, and I stood awestruck.

After gathering my senses I walked to the bookshelf again, searching for a book that could better explain why my friend was in such pain and when his punishment would be over. After a minute I found the book I was looking for, The Failure of Aerodactyl. I opened it up and began to read the story of my friends’ past life.
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There you go, thanks for reading, bye!
 
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Hidden Mew

Fog Trainer
Wow!

That was an excellent chapter. I just love your work. I understand what you said about the stress of a writer. I'm taking too long to write the next chapter in my story. Anyway, I'm glad you introduced another one of Darren's pokemon in the story. It is sad and amazing that Gengar was an Aerodactyl at the same time. This chapter was well worth the wait. I can't wait until your next chapter.
;094; ;142; ;352; ;164; ;379; ;251;​
I am hidden, yet I am in front of you.​
 

JONNO.FRESH

Well-Known Member
Very good i cant wait for a balance of power
 

skiboydoggy

Ski > You
Very... Very... Good...

An extremely well-written story, although if you ask me, the emotional backlash we all suffer after reading something like this rather undermimes the fact that it is a pokemon fic.
So it becomes more of a novel as opposed to a pokemon novel. The difference is subtle, but it is still definitely there.
Although there is something about how you write that kinda bugs me... The plot is excellent, the language is way above par...
It's the style I supposed.

"Cool winds whipped past my body, but I could scarcely feel them."

A quote, let's just see what I mean by style. I mean, if it were me, I would write it like this:

"The cold wind came down from the north, and whipped my ethereal body. As if something as minor as the wind would be able to affect me. A great psychic pokemon in life and a great protector in death."

I think it's just the overuse of "My", "I" and terms like that.

I guess its just an aquired taste.

The thumbs are: Up.
The reading tastebuds are: Readjusting
 
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The True Champion

Behold his Power
That was very ood i am glad that she got to see one of her friends. I also thought it was very creative how you put Gengar in and how he was once an Aerodactyl great job keep it up!
 

Felix Feral Fezirix

Densetsu no Pikachu!
That was great! Another thing revealed(I was once an Aerodactyl that got stuck halfway 'cause I was a loser and got fried) about the netherworld(origin of ghost pokemon). I completely forgot about ghost pokemon.

You just rock. Can't wait for next chapter!
 
S

Shiny_deoxys

Guest
Heres the next chapter for you guys. Thanks for your responses. You'll like this chapter as you find out the past of Gengar.

Chapter 5: Balance of Power

The book about my friend’s former life startled me. I had always known him, ever since the day that Darren captured him in the Sprout Tower, yet I never knew what his past was. After I had read his book once, I read it again, absorbing the words of my friend’s life, taking them into my mind. There were two parts to the story, one of life and one of death.

The Failure of Aerodactyl: A Tragic Life Story, Part I

It all began in ancient times. It was a time of peace and prosperity. The land was governed by the pokemon King, an Aerodactyl that was exceptionally strong. The pokemon was blessed in birth to be exceptionally large, 50 meters long and with a 75 meter wingspan. The pokemon was compassionate and ruled with care for all that were under him.

However, all was shaken when the king’s royal adviser, a Xatu which was exceptionally good at foreseeing disasters, told of a large rock which would fall from the sky. The rumor spread everywhere and all the pokemon throughout the land gathered to Aerodactyl for protection. Aerodactyl was confident that he would be able to take care of this problem, until the day which the rock was to fall from the heavens. Here is a first hand account that Aerodactyl thought shortly before his death on the matter.

“It was soon to come. On the morrow I was to take flight to the skies to face this rock which was going to strike the kingdom on which I reigned. I was exceptionally confidant that I would be able to take care of this small matter and that life would go on as it had for years. However, that night something happened that shook my soul and forced me to flee for my very life.

“I was looking out of my cave the night before I was to save the world. There was a crisp breeze blowing, and when you looked up at the sky you could see a full moon. Right next to it was something that looked like a star, but had been getting bigger for the last few days. I didn’t care though, for I was the strongest pokemon in the land. My pride was shattered, however, when I looked across the landscape and saw the most horrifying thing.

“There, standing right in a beam of moonlight, was the pokemon Absol. Its fur was standing on end, and its head was tilted back observing the falling rock. I knew Absol only appeared before cataclysmic events, so I was shocked. Maybe I would fail, and there was no way I could escape. I thought on this until I heard a strange sound coming from the Absol. It was a song of despair and sadness, yet the Absol seemed to glorify it. It sang:

Oh Falling Rock coming from the sky,
When it comes we must all die,
The earth it will soon be a flame,
And Aerodactyl is the one we’ll blame,
For though it is his destiny,
He’ll cut our bonds and make us free
To linger here while he escapes,
Our anger now is what he takes.
For as this rock shall crush our days
Aerodactyl will be the one who pays.

“The song chilled me to the bone. I panicked so much that I ran. At the edge of my cave I flapped my mighty wings and flew away. I flew far away to the other side of the earth. I stayed on a small island and felt the earth shake when the rock hit. In that moment my fate was sealed. I was guilty of the deaths of millions of creatures. There was only one way in my mind to atone for what had happened.

“I flew many miles above the earth. I looked down onto the hard rock below me and held my breath. I pulled my wings in next to me and dove towards the ground. I reached uncanny speeds as my rock body plummeted to the ground. I felt nothing as I collided with the ground, but everything went dark. I was at peace. I had done what needed to be done, and now awaited my judgment.”

I put down the book. A tear had come to my eye. It was terrible, because I knew what was going to happen next. I picked up the book and read the next chapter slowly so that I wouldn’t miss anything.

The Failure of Aerodactyl: A Tragic Death Story Part II

Aerodactyl came into the Netherworld differently than most. Because he had shamed himself and had an enormous amount of blood on his hands, he was brought straight to judgment. Here follows the rest of his account.

“The Balance of Power between the two worlds was amazing. What I saw of the Netherworld was beautiful because there had just been an enormous amount of destruction in the mortal world. However, I did not enjoy the serenity for long, as I was taken to the Judgment Room.

“The Judgment Room is a place reserved for the most wicked and shameful people or pokemon who have ever existed. As I entered, I saw an enormous room that was ten times larger than the cave which I had lived in. In it I saw all of the pokemon that had died on my behalf. All looked down on me as I entered the room. I knew this would not end well for me.

At the very front of the room were three large thrones, and upon them sat three pokemon; one of the mortal world, one of the Netherworld, and one of the world in between. I easily recognized the mortal pokemon, it was the legendary Mew that kept in contact with me and aided me in my leadership. The other two I did not know and I don’t believe that any mortal has ever seen them.

The pokemon of the Netherworld was a tall figure, draped in a long, black cloak. A hood shrouded its face and just looking at it chilled me to the bone. To its side it had a long staff with a scythe on the end. I couldn’t look at it because of the fear which struck my soul.

The other pokemon, the one of the world between the worlds, was a long dragon. It was transparent, but still looked quite fearsome. Its scales stood on end, and it had long whiskers on its nose. It seemed to be the king of ghosts. I bowed before these three mighty pokemon and pled my case.

After that, the three were dismissed for an hour. When they returned they decided that I was to spend my life stuck between both worlds until I had fully repented of my horrible sin. I asked what I had to do, and the large dragon pokemon leaped at me, and with one of his clawed hands he grabbed my body and smashed it into a small ball and breathed on it with his fire. The pain was almost unbearable, but when I came to I was back on earth, hovering a few feet above the ground.

I was a Gastly.
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There you are. Reply as you wish and thanks for reading.
 
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