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ellie

Δ
Staff member
Admin
the "friendzone" is a stupid concept made up by immature people who can't communicate feelings properly
 

KillerDraco

Well-Known Member
If you're the type of person who complains about being in the "friendzone", chances are you were never actually that girl's friend. Only being friends so that you can date/hook up with someone and being upset when they don't want to is inherently manipulative.
 

Excitable Boy

is a metaphor
I never got the friendzone. Then again for a guy i feel like I have a weird proportion of men to women friends.

It kinda weirds me out a tad that I now have more female friends than male friends, since it used to be the other way around
 

Hunter Zolomon

Into the Shadows
Staff member
Moderator
So I went in the YouTube comment section and I posted that Call of Duty Infinite War looks like recycled trash. The replies I'm getting are so loving lol.

"Go kill yourself Battlefield fanboy" "Go **** yourself"

There's so many more replies haha. Time to go grab some popcorn. This is great entertainment.

Honestly, I imagine most of the users commenting are 12 year old kids. At that age I didn't have a potty mouth, and if I did I would have got my a** kicked.
 

Zazie

So 1991
If you're the type of person who complains about being in the "friendzone", chances are you were never actually that girl's friend. Only being friends so that you can date/hook up with someone and being upset when they don't want to is inherently manipulative.

It's kind of weird because this is what the internet says it means.

But the TV says it means there is some magic timer and if you don't ask someone out or whatever before the time is up, they will no longer be interested and those are the rules of the universe or something.

Which is pretty silly but doesn't sound quite so assholish.
 

Auraninja

Eh, ragazzo!
I haven't really had a relationship, and now I'm going to become 28 this month. I also have personal barriers that I need to resolve.
My biggest requirement (even above gender), is that I would want to be in a relationship with someone I can relate to. I guess that would be why the girls I have been closest too have been rather eccentric. That's not a bad thing; since, I'm already pretty strange myself.

I hope people don't get the wrong idea by my use of requirement. I mean, everybody finds different qualities in people they like to be around with. I'm not saying one I couldn't relate to would be a bad person. /I'm being profuse, aren't I?

So I went in the YouTube comment section and I posted that Call of Duty Infinite War looks like recycled trash. The replies I'm getting are so loving lol.

"Go kill yourself Battlefield fanboy" "Go **** yourself"

There's so many more replies haha. Time to go grab some popcorn. This is great entertainment.

Honestly, I imagine most of the users commenting are 12 year old kids. At that age I didn't have a potty mouth, and if I did I would have got my a** kicked.
It's been nearly 2 months since I posted a response to a facebook link where I said something along the lines of "Donald Trump strikes down people who he sees a threat to his ego". The comments I get are mixed, but come on, 2 months with "I find Trump a great guy. Eh says stuff and doesn't afraid of anything". (Obvious parody, but this is also representative.)
 

ellie

Δ
Staff member
Admin
If you're the type of person who complains about being in the "friendzone", chances are you were never actually that girl's friend. Only being friends so that you can date/hook up with someone and being upset when they don't want to is inherently manipulative.
i blame all the stupid romcoms that make it look ~so romantic~ to hide feelings for someone for a long time and then confess in a big way. which in real life would probably end the friendship and cause bad feelings all around. i mean i know sometimes feelings do change over time but that's different from purposely hiding it for some grand confession

It kinda weirds me out a tad that I now have more female friends than male friends, since it used to be the other way around
i think it's just part of growing up tbh. i used to have almost all female friends and now it's pretty even for me. once youre past being a dumb kid/early teen you learn to relate to people just as people rather than based on their gender. at least HOPEFULLY you do.

It's kind of weird because this is what the internet says it means.

But the TV says it means there is some magic timer and if you don't ask someone out or whatever before the time is up, they will no longer be interested and those are the rules of the universe or something.

Which is pretty silly but doesn't sound quite so assholish.
yeah, but i think the way movies portray it is more of a misunderstanding of correlation vs causation. if i am friends with a guy for a long time i probably won't want to go out with him but that's not BECAUSE we have been friends for awhile. it's more like if i had feelings for him i would have made a move fairly early on and thus the friendship wouldn't go on for that long without a discussion in the first place.


either way it's not a "zone" people place other people in, you cant make someone have feelings or not :I
 

Akwakwak

I'm hungry
the "friendzone" is a stupid concept made up by immature people who can't communicate feelings properly

Or maybe people just don't have feelings or don't want to be in a relationship with that person, so instead you suggest being friends. I've "friendzoned" a few girls that I just wasn't in to before and more recently this chick I work with because well I don't want to mix the two together. We hang out, go to the movies, go out to clubs, parties, etc.
 

bobjr

You ask too many questions
Staff member
Moderator
Or they offer you drugs for some reason. I like to think I'm someone who's good at reacting on their feet but that one got me.
 

Phoopes

There it is.
Ah, I remember when I thought the "friendzone" was a real thing. I look back at middle school fondly.
 

Rezzo

Occasionally
I didn't think NintendoFan was being serious, but my whole two cents on the friendzone thing is that it's an unhealthy way of thinking about why somebody wasn't interested in dating/sleeping with you. The real way out of the friendzone is getting over it and finding interest in somebody else
 

Hunter Zolomon

Into the Shadows
Staff member
Moderator
I'm not letting "being in the friendzone" ruin my life, and I sure as hell don't complain about it to other people. When I said "my friendzone level is over 9000" I was just poking fun at myself if anything.

I'm definitely not "only" friends with this girl just so I can hook up with her. Obviously she just wants to be friends. I'll get over it. It's not like I'm forcing her into anything. Heck I haven't even told her my feelings, and I won't. Instead I will just move on. I'm not going to force her to "like me in that kind of way" I'm not that kind of guy.

Honestly, the only way of getting out is just moving on. You just have to come to grips with reality. However, some people don't move on so easily. Luckily for me this isn't my first rodeo. It sucks when things pan out the way they do, but you just have to get over certain outcomes. That's just life. You can let life beat you to your knees or you can fight back. (I just tried to channel my inner Rocky.)

When it comes to moving on this isn't my first rodeo. I've been cheated on before. I've dealt with deaths before. Pain heals over time.

In my 24 year life I have never let life beat me at anything.

Now I shall go play some Star Wars KoTor since today is Star Wars day.

Deuces.
 

ellie

Δ
Staff member
Admin
Or maybe people just don't have feelings or don't want to be in a relationship with that person, so instead you suggest being friends. I've "friendzoned" a few girls that I just wasn't in to before and more recently this chick I work with because well I don't want to mix the two together. We hang out, go to the movies, go out to clubs, parties, etc.

the term "putting someone in the friendzone" implies that she (or he, but lbr usually it's referring to a she) is doing something malicious and mean to the poor friendzoned nice guy who just cant catch a break. that's where most of the issue comes in, not that someone just wants to be friends. but i guess saying "i told her i liked her and she wasnt attracted to me" doesnt have the same ring as "i told her i liked her and she put me in the friendzone"
 

Navin

MALDREAD
online dating is trash for men.

Online matrimonial websites are basically the main tool for arranged marriages in India nowadays.

the term "putting someone in the friendzone" implies that she (or he, but lbr usually it's referring to a she) is doing something malicious and mean to the poor friendzoned nice guy who just cant catch a break. that's where most of the issue comes in, not that someone just wants to be friends. but i guess saying "i told her i liked her and she wasnt attracted to me" doesnt have the same ring as "i told her i liked her and she put me in the friendzone"


the "friendzone" is a stupid concept made up by immature people who can't communicate feelings properly

If you're the type of person who complains about being in the "friendzone", chances are you were never actually that girl's friend. Only being friends so that you can date/hook up with someone and being upset when they don't want to is inherently manipulative.

Ugh...why do people make "friendzone" out to be some terrible, manipulative concept? I know the expression "friendzone" isn't exactly the most accurate, but all the times I've seen it being used and seen it happen nowadays is when someone is already [close] friends with somebody else and develops feelings for them afterwards, but that isn't reciprocated. So it turns into a frustrating situation. Rarely do I hear it used for a person who simply becomes a friend just so he/she can get into another's pants, and personally speaking, most of the time the person does communicate his/her feelings in that situation.


It's just the colloquial term for a shitty situation. Not the most apt phrasing, I agree.
 

Akwakwak

I'm hungry
the term "putting someone in the friendzone" implies that she (or he, but lbr usually it's referring to a she) is doing something malicious and mean to the poor friendzoned nice guy who just cant catch a break. that's where most of the issue comes in, not that someone just wants to be friends. but i guess saying "i told her i liked her and she wasnt attracted to me" doesnt have the same ring as "i told her i liked her and she put me in the friendzone"

I don't see how it implies that all. All it means is that the person just doen't reciprocate the feelings, that is all.
 

ellie

Δ
Staff member
Admin
oh please, just look at some of the posts here that mention friendzone and tell me it isnt a bitter phrase loaded with vitrol. sure, some might be fake/trolling, but i have seen plenty of real fb posts on my own feed that could belong there.
 

Navin

MALDREAD
Reddit also has a bunch of nice posts explaining how it is, but here's one:

https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromo...girls_thoughts_on_the_friendzone_are_spot_on/

The flaw in the "men just be-friend women to **** 'em" argument is that its just not always true. In fact its hard to even say if its true the majority of time. What many people discount is organic growth. If a man be-friends a woman it may not originally be to bang her. However if the guy is straight and he really enjoys the woman's company and they have a great time together its not unreasonable that he will begin to have feelings. Now what is he suppose to do? If those feelings are strong enough I think he owes it to himself and his female friend to put those cards on the table. If he is rejected the reality is in most cases the relationship will never be the same. She knows he wants to be with her and he knows that she knows. Eventually most people just cut ties. Whether its because it just hurts too much to continue the friendship or the awkwardness becomes too much and the friendship fizzles away. Now in the case where the friendship ends, especially if its due to being hurt the guy ultimately gets blamed for just using the friendship as a means to get into her pants. This really is completely unfair in this scenario. This has nothing to do with men thinking they are owed anything. If anything it could be flipped around in this scenario where the woman think she is owed his friendship, not matter what he feels. Honestly I think both men and women need to start being more real with themselves. Yes there are men who try to manipulate women into bed with faux friendships, but there are also women who also use men's real friendships with them to manipulate the men for their own personal gain. Neither gender has a monopoly on assholes.
 

bobjr

You ask too many questions
Staff member
Moderator
I like to think the friendzone is a Bond movie trap, where people wait til the other person is right over the trapdoor before they pull the lever that puts them in the friendzone.
 
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