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Giving of Yourself (Minamoshipping (Kelly/May)) PG-13

Discussion in 'Shipping Fics' started by Rave The Rich, Feb 29, 2008.

  1. Rave The Rich

    Rave The Rich NOT the other 'Rave'

    This fanfiction of mine was originally posted on fanfiction.net for Valentine's Day and can be found on the link below.


    Pairing is MinamoShipping (May/Kelly) with mentions of Accusation, Appeal, Balance, Belle, Coma, Contest, Cookie, Divergent, Penguin, ShootsDown and SundaeShipping. This work is primarily shoujo-ai.

    DISCLAIMER: I do not own Pokemon, a creation of one Satoshi Tajiri, and is produced domestically (in the United States) by Pokemon USA/The Pokemon Company, and internationally by Shogakukan and OLM. I personally own nothing and make nothing by writing this. Please do not flame.

    “May,” Caroline calls out to get her daughter’s attention, “The mail’s here and it looks like you’ve got yourself quite a few Valentines.” On this otherwise lazy Thursday afternoon that May would spend in deep training for the Grand Festival which will take place at the beginning of March, May is quite happy and flattered to hear from her mother that she has quite a few admirers that thought enough of her to send her their love.

    Walking down the steps, May takes about five different letters and three packages from her mom, thanks her for getting the mail and then goes back upstairs in the direction of her room, passing her father in the hallway.

    Before May can make the turn to her room, Norman turns around and asks May, “All of those are yours, May?”

    “Yes sir,” May affirms to her father.

    Norman looks back at her daughter and chuckles for a bit before he tells May, “Well, if you can ever decide which one you’re gonna accept, then you’re gonna end up disappointing a lot of guys.”

    May laughs nervously at her father’s quip and thinks to herself, ‘Daddy, you don’t even have a clue,’ but tells Norman, “Don’t worry. I promise, Dad, that I’ll pick just one. And as for all of the others, I’m sure that they’ll find other Valentines on the 14th.”

    Upon hearing May’s promise, Norman leans forward and gives his daughter a hug, exclaiming, “That’s my girl. I’ll see you later tonight, all right?”

    “Where are you going?”

    “I’ve got that meeting with all of the Hoenn gym leaders tonight in Lavaridge Town. Remember how I talked about Flannery Moore being the host and what not?”

    May laughs for a bit before she explains to her father, “Sorry dad, but it’s really not ringing a bell in my head.”

    “Okay, dear,” Norman concedes, realizing that he’s not getting anywhere with his eldest child. With one final and quick kiss on the cheek, Norman explains to May, “I have to go now. I’m already late enough as it is,” and then bolts down the stairs leading to the front door.

    “See ya, dad!” May bids, but she does not get any type of reaction from her father whatsoever, as he is already out of the house and going to his car for the near two hour drive to Lavaridge.

    Shaking her head softly, May walks slowly to her room, opening the door and once inside, closing it behind her. Once firmly in her private sanctuary knowing that she would not have her father, mother or brother disturbing her in what she considers a very intimate moment, May places the mail in her hands onto her desk, and sits down to look through it all.

    The first letter she decides to read is the one at the top of the heap. Checking the return address, she finds that the letter came from Joshua, the coordinator that she met during her initial expeditions through Pacifidlog Town on her way to the Hoenn Grand Festival. Despite the fact that she is glad to hear from an old friend, she is confused to read about how Joshua would like May to be his valentine. He almost sounded as if he was begging for her to accept his offer.

    “Doesn’t he already have a valentine?” May ponders. Reading over the document a couple of other times, she takes out a clean sheet of paper and begins to write her response to Joshua. This letter reads…

    Friend Joshua,

    The dictionary defines the word ‘wrath’ as belligerence aroused by a real or supposed wrong. While I must admit that I am flattered that you want me to be your Valentine, I must for my health and safety say no, for I wish not to endure the wrath of Erica, who I assume that you are still with as boyfriend and girlfriend.

    If this is not the case and if you and Erica are no longer together, then I wholeheartedly apologize to you. I mean no offense whatsoever in these words, but I can never legitimately see us the way that you see (or saw) yourself with Erica. I hope you can understand that either way, I simply cannot accept your offer to be your valentine.

    For one, there is already someone out there that I really do love. If I told you or anyone else who it is, you would not believe me, and even though you are quite sincere, you might laugh in my face if I said the name, but you can say that I already have a valentine out there for more than just the fourteenth of February. And…once again, if you are still with Erica, I don’t want to have to deal with her. Even if you’re trying to be nice by sending me a valentine as a friendly gesture, she would likely take it the wrong way.

    No worries, though. If you’re looking for new love, there are other places you can turn. Just not here, lest you feel the wrath of the one I love, as well.

    Take care now, and best of luck to you in finding one all your own.



    Placing her composed letter next to the valentine card and letter that Joshua sent her, May files both of them in a new pile of items that are going to be mailed.

    Picking up the second letter, she finds that it is from Harley. She smiles, knowing that whatever the flamboyant and effeminate one has for her will be more than a treat. Ever since going to the Johto region, May and Harley have become close friends and have started a tradition of trading treats during the various holidays. Using her letter opener, she opens the envelope and reads the humorous card with comic cartoon caricatures of bees and other stinging insects with hearts affixed on the front of the card. On the front, there is the joke ‘What do you call an underground hornet’s nest?’ Inside of the card is the punch line to the joke, ‘A Be (Bee) Mine,’ but right under the joke, Harley writes that he’s just kidding and that she, ‘she’ being May, should know that he is forever taken…by her younger brother Max.

    It’s enough to warrant more than just a passing chuckle from May, and she assumes that that is what Harley wanted to accomplish. While she more than accepts the relationship that Max has with Harley considering her own circumstances, she can’t help but wonder if there is something in the water, or if lightning has struck twice in the same family as far as preferences in love are concerned.

    The third letter in the pile is actually attached to a rectangular package. Looking at the return address to this letter, she finds that the letter comes from Drew. ‘This oughta be good,’ May thinks sarcastically as she examines the letter and the package, and finally decides to open the letter. Unfolding the paper, she starts reading the typed letter, which states…

    My Dearest May,

    Once more, I find myself at a crossroads in my life. I realize fully my humanity and have no choice but to accept it, lest I end up a suicidal coward fearing waking up in the morning everyday. I would not go through these trials as often as I do, visit you as often as I do and wonder about you as often as I do if I did not love you as much as I truly do.

    Learning from my own selfish and pathetic life experiences, I’ve found that there are certain people out there that should only exist in your life for a season or so. In other words, they are not meant to be life partners or friends for forever and a day. They are only meant to make you a stronger individual for however long that they should be around you.

    They are like tests that you take in school with a time limit. But you, May, are like a degree. Once you’ve passed so many tests and tasks in this life, true love becomes your ultimate reward. I may not know much, but what I do know is that she is not in my thoughts and dreams morning, noon and night like you are. Hearing her name does not make me shiver like hearing your name does, and she does not make every day feel like the month of May like you did.

    She is out of my life like the bright star leaves the horizon during a sunset. Correction; she is out of my life for good, never to darken the true love that I know and you know that we share for each other. Ironic, isn’t it? In any event, please don’t let my screw-ups in the past affect what I know has the potential to be a happy and prosperous future for both of us.

    So with that future well within reach for the two of us, I ask that you be my Valentine, May. Not simply because I asked you, but quite frankly, to not accept my offer would be to lie to yourself. You know the feelings and the good thoughts that you’ve had for me over the years. Would you really throw all of that away for one err on my part?

    I wouldn’t, and neither should you.

    Love, and I Mean True Love,


    May can’t help but admire the writing of Drew. “Aww, how sweet,” she expresses quirkily, before she takes the letter and the envelope it came in and places both pieces into her nearby paper shredder, tearing it into several long, thin strips of paper. “Unfortunately, it’s all a pack of lies.”

    “Still the same old arrogant prick you were when we were together, eh Drew? If you’re as changed an individual as you claim to be, then how come you didn’t apologize for fooling around with Dawn behind my back?” May asks rhetorically. “Don’t throw away our love, my ***. He…he must think I’m deaf, dumb and blind all at the same time. I saw him not even two weeks ago at a pokemon contest with Dawn Berlitz kissing him. They are still together, and I don’t understand why Drew insists on having me playing the role of the fool…again. Like I’m not supposed to notice pictures of you and ‘*****-litz’ together plastered on every magazine out there. Nice try, Drew, but I’ll never fall for your games ever again.”

    As she looks to open the next letter putting thoughts of the emerald-haired boy behind him, May notices that there is still the matter of the small package that was affixed to the letter and addressed to her. Without even thinking about how much she might hurt Drew by doing this, May just takes the package and places it into her wastebasket, not even bothering to open the gift.

    The fourth letter that May receives in the mail comes from Ash Ketchum, who simply writes that he hopes that May is having as great a Valentine’s Day as he plans to have with Paul. May decides to make a note to write her reply letter back to him sometime soon, as she isn’t sure if she should explain to him that barring any unforeseen incidents, Valentine’s Day should be great. ‘Though I still don’t get how those two got together,’ May ponders.

    Shrugging it off, May looks at her desk to find that there is one more envelope that she’s neglected to open. This envelope is turned upside down, and excited to find out its contents, May turns it over…only to find out that the letter is from Zoey. It’s not that she didn’t want to read a letter from Zoey; rather she was eagerly anticipating someone else’s mail today. Out of respect for her good friend from the Sinnoh region, May opens the letter to find that she is making her rounds through the Orange Islands with her Valentine, Kenny. Zoey and Kenny both wish May a Happy Valentines Day, and May decides to make a note telling them that she appreciates their thinking of her.

    Ever since finding out about Drew’s wrongdoings with Dawn, May, Zoey and Kenny struck up a good friendship and talked more about their respective loves lost. While May obviously had feelings for Drew at one point, she did not know about the feelings that Kenny and even Zoey had for Dawn, and May felt for both of them just as they felt for her upon hearing about the new pair. May gets a very warm and fuzzy feeling inside when she thinks about Kenny and Zoey, because she had somewhat of a hand in the two of them getting together, as she was the one that initially suggested that they had a lot in common because they fell for the same individual. However the two might have interpreted it, they are now together and have no complaints. Dawn Berlitz is deep in their past, and they know that their future is now with each other.

    While all of the gifts and cards from her friends are well and good, including the snacks that Kenny and Zoey packed for May and her Snorlax in two packages that went along with the letter, May can’t help but feel disappointed. For the past one to two years without most people knowing about it, she’s been in a romantic relationship with her good friend, Kelly. It began around the time after May left Drew for good and she decided to take some time out from coordinating. Wanting to fill her time with some activity, May took up an internship that she found on a flier for a pokeblock program in Lilycove City, Kelly’s hometown. Overtime, while Kelly instructed May and about nine other interns in the art of correctly making pokeblock and forming the proper combination of berries, Kelly and May would often spend time together away from the program. They talked about everything under the moonlight and May became more and more smitten with the coordinator as the nights wore on.

    One night, while the two of them watched the first lunar eclipse in that area in nearly a decade, Kelly looked on with a great deal of awe. May could not think of a more romantic and charming scenario than this one, so while Kelly glossed over the rust orange moon, May leaned over in her direction and gave the purple haired girl a kiss on the cheek. It caught Kelly off guard for a moment, but seeing the genuine emotion in the eyes of the Petalburg native, Kelly hesitantly returned the kiss. This kiss ignited a spark between the two that has continued to this very day.

    But with all of this charming love and affection that the two have shown each other the past year or so, May believed that Kelly would be first in line at the post office to send her whatever May’s gift would be for this February 14th, but unfortunately, that has not been the case this time. “I don’t get it,” May pouts. “Kelly has always liked Valentine’s Day. My God, everyday is like Valentine’s Day for her when it comes to me.”

    “May,” her mother calls out from downstairs, “You’ve got company downstairs!”

    “Okay, mom!” May responds as she gets up from her desk and walks down the steps leading to the kitchen where the front door is located. As she goes down one third of the steps, May sees someone having a conversation with her mother. Upon spotting the familiar purple hair and pink ribbon, May exclaims “Kelly!” excited that her secret lover came all the way from Lilycove to spend Valentine’s Day with her.

    Despite her elation, May knew that she had to keep her emotions inside due to her mother standing right next to her girlfriend. Nevertheless, once May made it to the kitchen, the first thing that she did was give Kelly a big hug. She holds onto the embrace for a while, leaning in and quietly informing her, “Usually, I’d get something in the mail, but this is nice…very nice.”

    Kelly whispers back, “Head upstairs and I’ll give you something you’ll really like, okay?”

    This request from Kelly causes May to let go of her hug and explains to her mother, “Mom, it seems like there’ll be a change of plans today. I’m sorry for not saying anything earlier, but Kelly broke up with her boyfriend not too long ago, and she’s been real down in the dumps about it, so I promised her that I’d cheer her up by spending the day with her. Is that alright?”

    Caroline just smiles back to her daughter and explains, “I’ve got no problem with it.”

    “Great,” May exclaims, kissing her mother on the cheek. “I just need to go upstairs and get my things and then it’s just me and Kelly for the rest of the day.” Taking her girlfriend’s hand, May says, “Come on, Kelly. Let’s go,” and both of them make their way up the stairs. They leave Caroline in the kitchen alone who sighs and says out loud, “Oh, May. I just wish you could trust me and everyone else with this. I mean, it’s clear as day what’s going on between you and Kelly this past year or so. Only a good mother could tell what really makes her daughter happy, and Kelly is most certainly it. The truth is that I’m fine with it, just like I’m fine with Max and Harley. Both of you do make great couples. Now it’s time to show the world, May. Hiding your love…that’s not doing anyone any favors…especially today.”

    Quickly making their way upstairs to May’s room, Kelly and May enter the room and almost immediately after she closes the door, May brings Kelly forward and gives her a huge kiss. After letting go of the vice grip that she has on the other girl’s lips, she explains to her that the kiss was designed, “To make up for lost time over the past few months. I—it’s just so good to see you again, away from my brother, father, and to an extent, my mother.”

    “Now, hold on!” Kelly interjects, trying not to allow May to become too emotional too soon. “No need to thank me just yet. First off, let me thank you for that beautiful poem that you sent me a few days ago.”

    Pulling the poem in question out of her pocket, May shrugs it off, saying, “It…I just tried to put my love for you down in writing…”

    Getting the poem out in the open and unfolding it, Kelly interrupts May to say, “And you did a fantastic job, May. I got teary eyed just reading those lines. Such emotion went into it, and I loved it so much because you gave of yourself.” Kelly looks up at the top of the poem and reads, “There was a moon out that night/ and it shone of our great love/ whenever I think about her, I go into outer space/ and get emotional in a place that’s extremely unsafe/ My breath is caught/ but for a brief moment/ not even a minute or a second/ I can’t define the feeling/ as my somewhat guilty conscience has me reeling.” Kelly starts to predictably shed tears as she reads over the most emotional portion of the poem. “Words fail, but she succeeds/ passing with flying colors/ and once again, I’m flying high/ in good company with the moon/ and the stars above and very, very soon…”

    “The world will know why I fly so high/but for now, between us, let’s keep it. Let’s try,” the two lovebirds speak in unison, and hearing the words put to paper is enough to make May cry along with Kelly. Gently holding each other in their arms, they realize and regrettably accept the meaning of the poem. May would like nothing more than to be open about her love with Kelly, but at the same time, she loves the fact that they can have a private relationship that is not under the mass media microscope like the one Drew has with Dawn.

    “Oh, I failed,” Kelly states, playfully cursing her luck. “I said that I didn’t want us to get too fanatical at the fact that we haven’t seen each other in a while.” Reaching into another one of her pockets, Kelly pulls out a small box, which appears to be designed for some type of jewelry.

    Handing it to May, she says, “Happy Valentine’s Day, May.”

    Taking the box, May tells Kelly, “Thank you, Kelly.” As May opens the box, she assures her girlfriend, “Whatever you’ve gotten me, it really doesn’t matter. Just having you here makes this day greater than great,” and then she looks at the diamond bracelet and earrings and gasps loudly as she sees them shimmer in the afternoon sunlight. After a few seconds of silence, May whispers ‘This is really nice,’ and then goes to Kelly.

    For the third time in less than 10 minutes the two come together in a hug, with May once again initiating contact. Giving her girlfriend yet another squeeze like a python, she exclaims, “Oh, thank you, Kelly! They’re beautiful, but like I said, the best gift that I could ever get today pales in comparison to the gift you gave me when you came here today.”

    “What’s that?”

    After a kiss on the forehead, May answers Kelly, “Yourself. I’ve gotten several valentines from people today. Some of them are good friends and others I wish would just drop off the face of the Earth, but having you here is the best gift that I could possibly get.”

    “Oh,” Kelly tingles, “I think I feel an ‘AW’ coming on!”

    Placing the earrings near the rest of her jewelry, May places the bracelet around her right wrist, and says that she’s ready to go wherever they want for the rest of February 14th. After a minute, Kelly suggests that the two go out for lunch. May agrees, and they head back down the stairs, with May carrying her essential items in her waist pack.

    “All right, mom,” May announces, “Kelly and I are going now. We should be back…”

    May leaves the time open ended for Kelly to make the decision, and Kelly tells Caroline that the tandem should be back by 7 o’clock at the latest.

    “Just in time for your father to get back, May,” Caroline remarks. “Very well, then. Take care, girls.”

    “We will,” Kelly and May respond in unison. As Kelly opens the door to the outside and leaves the Maple household, Caroline stops her daughter from following Kelly by touching her on her right shoulder as she is about to grab the handle of the front door.

    “Before you leave,” Caroline speaks, turning her teen daughter around so that mother and daughter are face to face, “I just want you to know…that I’m really proud of you, May,” Caressing her daughter’s cheeks with both hands, mother continues, “You’re truly becoming an exceptional young woman.”

    Not quite understanding what her mother is doing and only assuming that this is something that parents do, May answers back to Caroline, “Thank you, mom. Uhh…Kelly is waiting for me, so I should probably go.”

    As May makes her turn back to the door, Caroline cheerfully speaks, “I know you don’t want to keep your valentine waiting,” which causes May to stop dead in her tracks.

    May knows that she has to confirm it, as it’s far too much of a coincidence that her mother would call Kelly her Valentine. Thinking about it, she and Kelly never let it slip that they were together. Sure, their body language at times ebbed a certain kind of nervousness, especially when they were around family and friends, and Kelly and May did cuddle a lot like they were in love, and…the picture became much clearer to May at that moment.

    ‘A blind man could see how much in love Kelly and I are,’ May thinks, now becoming nervous like she wrote down in her poem to the waiting Kelly. With her breath caught due to that one moment of true clairvoyance, May turns around and asks her mother, “You know that Kelly and I are—um,”

    “Yeah,” Caroline answers laconically, “Just like I know about Max being with Harley.” Checking for any sharp reactions from her daughter about Harley and Max being a pair and not seeing anything out of the ordinary in her daughter’s face, Caroline continues assuredly, “Honey, I have no problem with it at all. It’s fine. You’re in love and you’re happy, and I can’t really ask for much more than that for you. But…what I do have a big problem with is the fact that you seem to want to hide that, going as far as lying to me about your plans with Kelly.”

    ‘Oh, no,’ May thinks, as the fact that she’s lied to her family and friends to keep her love affair secret. “Mom, I just…I really do love her, and at the same time, I knew that people would be like, ‘Really?’ if they heard that the two of us were together. I love Kelly, but I don’t want Kelly to hurt the relationship that I have with…everyone else.”

    “May,” Caroline begins, “Kelly won’t hurt the bond that you share with the people that you love and care for. What will hurt your relationship with your family and friends won’t be the fact that you’re involved with another girl. It’ll be the fact that you don’t feel that you can trust them with it, when deep down, you know that you can. If they’re your real friends and family, they could care less who you’re with, so long as they treat you the right way. Kelly treats you well, doesn’t she?”

    May doesn’t answer her mother right away. Instead, her attention is diverted to the door, which has opened once again. Kelly has come back in the house, one would assume, to find out what’s been keeping May.

    Looking around her surroundings once more, Kelly asks May, “Is everything alright?” Acting very adroitly, May walks up to Kelly to give her a kiss that broke straight through the friendship barrier into the country of romantic affection. Although Kelly doesn’t mind the attention that her girlfriend is showing her, she must admit to being thrown off guard by the fact that May is kissing her with her mother looking on off to the side. Looking to Caroline for any sign of disgust, Kelly is surprised, but only somewhat surprised, to not find any. In fact, Caroline appears to be almost relieved looking at Kelly and her daughter in their intertwinement.

    Regrettably removing herself from her better half, Kelly turns to Caroline and asks her, “You know?”

    “No,” Caroline explains, “I knew. I’ve always had a feeling, and…I’m glad that my daughter can finally be open with me about this, even though I kind of had to drag it out of her while you were outside. I just want to ask you one thing, Kelly. Do you know how special the girl next to you really is?”

    Taking a good look at the girl standing next to her, Kelly takes her near arm and drapes it across her girlfriend’s shoulders. With a great deal of confidence, she affirms how much of a good thing she has with Caroline by saying, “Yes, ma’am. And let me assure you that she’s in good hands with me. I promise you, Caroline.”

    Caroline smiles dreamily, explaining to Kelly, “That’s all I needed to know, Kelly. Now you two go and have fun. And, May, when you get back, I expect you to let your father know about all of this. Do you understand me?”

    Reluctantly, May agrees to tell Norman about Kelly once he gets back from his meeting and she comes back from her impromptu date. Kelly and May spent much of that time eating lunch, going to the park, playing with their pokemon and buying each other more gifts for the day. Worn out from all of their activity, Kelly drops May off at the house, but before Kelly can leave for Lilycove, May asks her to come inside, knowing that her father would be waiting for her and whatever news she had for him.

    Opening the door to the house, the first thing that Kelly and May notice is the dozen red roses sitting in a glass vase in the middle of the kitchen table. A card is leaning against the vase with the name ‘Caroline’ monogrammed on the outside. The sign of long lasting love that her parents show make May confident that she can share even a portion of that same type of commitment with Kelly. Looking off to the other room, May sees her father sitting on the couch with a glass of some drink on the coffee table. It appears that he has been expecting his daughter for some time.

    “Come on, May. Kelly,” Norman insists. “Have a seat. Your mother said that you had something to tell me.”

    As both May and Kelly sit down together, they hold each other’s near hand and look to each other, affirming what they are about to announce. Seeing as Norman is her father, she begins by elaborating what she needs to let out. “You see, dad, earlier today, I had all of those valentines, and you told me that once I chose someone, I’d break a lot of guys’ hearts.”

    “Yeah, that’s right,” Norman confirms.

    “Well,” May continues, choking a bit on that last word as she holds back a chuckle, “I think after I tell you this, it’ll be clear that I’m breaking every guys’ heart. That’s why Kelly is here, because…she’s my Valentine, and her gift to me is herself, and mine is myself. What I’m trying to say is…”

    “No,” Norman interjects thoughtfully, “I think I know. I think I get it.”

    May has to hold back her laughter as she once again thinks to herself, ‘Daddy, you still have no idea. You’ll never get it, but that’s okay, because a lot of times, I don’t get it. At least that’s one thing that we have in common.’


    Your thoughts?
    Last edited: Aug 24, 2009
  2. shadow_shipper

    shadow_shipper ...indeed...

    This is so unlike me to be reading this, but I was curious :p

    Wow...I think this was way to formal for somebody like May...

    As was the other letter from Drew...but I have to say that this got me captivated, it's excellent !
    All the characters were written with a doe of..."humanity" I'd want to say, especially Norman, who was my favourite character here :D
    Your length and writing style are good, if not a bit too heavy at some point, making it a bit hard to keep on reading, but you basicly want to see what happens that you keep on reading ;)
    Like the part from the end of Drew's letter to when Kelly arrives, the whole block was a bit difficult for me to read for some reason...

    Yeah, my thoughts ? Well, definately, I nominate this for an oscar, congrats :)
  3. Encyclopika

    Encyclopika The Queen

    Was curious, and your great writing style pulled me in and made me read the whole thing through. Though I really think May's (as well as everyone else's unfortinately ^^; ) language was very OOC, the structure and everything else about it, made up for it.
    It's a very good little tale. Very relaxed, no rushing, and the relationship between May and Kelly was very natural and real. ^^ Awesome! I also enjoyed the background information concerning May's relationahips with Drew, Zoey, Kenny, etc. It just made the contest world smaller in the best way possible. ^^

    I really have no complaints. Once again - awesome job. =D
  4. Rave The Rich

    Rave The Rich NOT the other 'Rave'

    Thank you both!

    You know, the more I read over it, the more it seems that the entire fic is more formal than it probably should be. It reads like everyone is studying in their spare time to become professors in English rather than talking and writing more casually like they would be, but I'm glad that the story was nevertheless able to pull you in and keep you interested despite the fact that the letters could have come from as early as the 18th Century.

    Thanks for the compliment on the characterization. Personally, I have a real soft spot for Norman in this fic as well, but I also feel that May is absolutely on the spot, especially when she thinks that Norman can never and will never understand her or her relationship with Kelly. I say this because few men in Norman's situation (happily married with two children) would know or understand what causes a same-sex attraction. And sometimes those girls (like May) attracted to other girls don't understand either, hence the final line of the story.

    I will admit at times to being prose heavy with a lot of my description. Maybe a flashback or May composing another letter would have eased the confusion at that point. Despite this admitted caveat, I'm glad to hear that the story made you want to keep reading!

    Thank you, and I'll eagerly await for the winners to be announced! I'm glad that you're glad you read this!

    Thanks for the compliment of my writing style. I've only been writing fan fiction for less than one year now, but thanks to much trial and error and advice from others, I've learned how to bring people into a story and not lose them in translation.

    Though, I must admit to being a bit confused when you said the language was OOC. Did you mean how the characters talked (like when shadow_shipper said that the dialogue and the letters sounded too formal) or were you referring to May and her little rant against Drew and Dawn where she uses some curse words, or both? Just curious.

    And quality writing of a story can make up for just about any other shortcoming that exists. ^^

    I'm very glad to hear all of this, especially how you felt about the Kelly/May romance and how it was handled within the context of the fic. I think that the pair and the shipping is quite a relaxing one that makes you feel good, so you should have a fan fiction that makes the reader feel good when they read the ship. And thanks for the remarks on May's friendships and loves lost. Indeed, the contest world is large, but at the same time, small.
  5. Encyclopika

    Encyclopika The Queen

    By the language, I meant what shadow_shipper said about it in how people spoke. However, if you keep that sort of style for the narrator, it's great. ^^
  6. Brioche

    Brioche Hippie-Liberal

    Nobody writes Minamoshipping, so thank you q: I really like Minamoshipping <3

    The language was beautiful in this fic, although as the others have said, the characters are OOC, with the formal-ness and what not. I think you should avoid littering the dialogue with big words (estoic verbosity?) because it makes the story more sensible. But you probably already knew that. Although the quality is good, which makes up for it.

    I like the style--writing in like, present-tense throughout. Nice job, I'm looking forward to more fics (I've read your Appealshipping one on FF.net and I love it so far). Good job =)
  7. Rave The Rich

    Rave The Rich NOT the other 'Rave'

    Many thanks, Brioche!

    Well, I've wanted to do Kelly/May for a while, and when I was confident enough to give it a shot, I went for it. No one is happier than I am to know how well people have responded to my work! I think I might have inspired one more author out there to do Minamoshipping, so I'd say that it was all worth it to see more of my second favorite shoujo-ai pair.

    I've been working on a connecting project to this one shot that I'll put on this site in the next month or so. One of my aims for that project (which you might have seen on FF.net) is to shift the big, vivid, colorful, descriptive words from the dialogue to the narration, like Encyclopika said I should, thereby making the dialogue nowhere near as fancy as it is in this one shot. I'm also happy to know that despite the way characters talked, you still liked the quality of the fic.

    I've never been told that the language in my work was 'beautiful' until now. I am very flattered. *blushing*

    Someone on FF.net also complimented me on my present tense writing style, so again, you are not alone in terms of the number of people who like this one shot.

    Thanks once again for the kind remarks, and I'm glad you also like 'A Confession Gone Awry' (we're talking about the same fic, right?) on FF.net!
  8. Rave The Rich

    Rave The Rich NOT the other 'Rave'

    Thanks a bunch!

    Thanks for the comments.

    You wouldn't believe the number of people who like my works but didn't start out as fans of the pair. It's about as long as long a list as...the people who like my works! But I understand how people may not like the idea of May playing for the other team. But going against the grain fosters creativity...or something like that, so I have no problem with it but just...respect everyone else's. Sounds good, no? ^__^

    Right about Drew; he was a real clown to May in the story. Same with Dawn. The pair is not meant to be liked!

    Again, I'm glad you liked it and thanks for the kind words! I'll need good luck writing more with my schedule, but I'll find time, gosh darn it! ^__^

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