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Goodbye to the Setting Sun [Poem]

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SpaceFlare

insert custom title
Well, this one is a little bit bleh compared to my other work, imo.

We were asked to write a 5-minute poem about how to describe the sunset to a blind man. So here goes:

Goodbye to the Setting Sun

Oh how I long
To feel once more
The sparkling radiance
And the warmth of the glorious sun
As its sets
Casting its rays across the sea
Sinking away into the sea
And everything around seems quiet
And everything around me seems colder
As night approaches

A feeling of bliss
I will certainly miss
The sparkling radiance
And the warmth of the glorious sun.
 
W

WiggleTuff

~You're my only one~
Wow, for a five minute poem, that's really good. I couldn't even describe it that well.
 
Kutie Pie

Kutie Pie

"It is my destiny."
That's a five minute poem? Hard to believe...

Anyway, that's very good for a setting sun. I would've never described it like that, ever! It'd be really different! I'd just describe the looks.

Heh, you're really good at this! (How's this a five-minute poem? I don't get it...)

;025; - No duh. You're a blonde.

*whacks* Can't wait for more! ^^ And sorry about Cheeky... Here's cake! Chocolate cake... Well, vanilla cake with chocolate frosting...

;025; - BLONDES ARE TAKING OVER THE WORLD!!!

*chases* See you later!

~~~~~~~~~~~~
♥Kutie Pie♥ Please be kind to midgets!
 
K

Kamex

Team Rocket's rockin
I agree, it's very nice for a five-minute poem. I like how you described it, very passionately. It almost sounds like you actually watched a sunset when you wrote it. ^^
 
S

SpaceFlare

insert custom title
Heh. Glad you liked it. I didn't like this too much, tbh. But yeah, we wrote this under a 5-minute time limit. It's part of a workshop I attended, being a member of the school lit. mag. and all.
 
B

billy5772

SENIOR
Hey, I just saw this poem in your sig and decided to check it out because I liked the other poem(s) that I've read by you. This one is interesting.

It's interesting that the narrator only remarks on the warmth of the sun as it's leaving. Are you trying to comment on how we usually don't miss things until they threaten to leave us? If so, this was effective.

Good work, man!
 
S

SpaceFlare

insert custom title
Heh, never really meant it that way. I guess I conveyed it unintentionally.

This is actually supposed to be like a blind man's description of a sunset.
 
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