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Help me describe a Pokemon

Okay, so I'm busy making a story. In it, it's the future and Max from the Pokemon Advanced series has become a Gym Leader and his dad is trying out for the Elite 4.

Now, in the story, I chose to give Max a Breloom. (Same Shroomish he befriended back then.) However, I got as far as this.

"Breloom, I choose you!"
I've been stopped for weeks as I can't seem to figure out how to describe a Breloom. Now, those who tell me to pick a different Pokemon, know that I really want him to have this one, so please help me.

How would you describe a Breloom to someone who didn't know one?

Thanks in advance.

See ya later!

Venia Silente

[](int x){return x;}
May i ask what exactly is what stops you at the start? Pokémon in general are not "trivial" to describe, which is kind of the point, but it's not difficult to assemble a couple of sentences that describe a(ny) Pokémon. Of course, better used if they are spiced up with action for the Show, Don't Tell effect. Much can be helped if you can describe them in relation to creatures or objects (for inanimates) that exist in real life. And when all else fails, sprinkle things up with some scientific terms that are reasonably solidified in the overall community.

Oh, Bulbapedia for example provides quickies for all Pokémon.

Now, for a quickie on how to describe a Breloom, you could mention it is a Pokémon of raptor-like build, wearing a sort of mushroom over its head, Mention the overall green color scheme, contrasted with the red claws on both paws and legs; point out the idiosincrasies in its locomotion, with its short spread legs and its stubby but stretchable arms (do point out how at a first glance they don't even look like they can do that!) yet compare with the tail, well armored at the end. The creature's toes probably make a strange sound as they would not click the same ways as the steely toes of an Aggron or the talons of a bird Pokémon. Sound... hmmm not sure what to go with there besides "Breloom loom loom!". But they probably sound deceptively nonthreatening for the kind of Pokémon they are. As Grass-types, and ones wearing a mushroom on their heads at that, they probably have a particular kind of scent to them unlike that of a more "meaty" Pokémon, and if the interaction is possible do point out if their skin / hide is slippery or sticky.

Oh and do draw comparisons to kangaroos. It's one of those lovable aspects about them.

I'm hoping this at least helps you get started.


Lost but Seeking
Who are you trying to describe for that doesn't know a breloom? Max or another character or the audience? If it's the audience you're worried about, you generally don't need to go out of your way to give pokémon descriptions; most people know what the pokémon look like or know how to find out, because they're fans. Lengthy descriptions of pokémon often bog down the narrative and are usually about as clear as mud; if you told me breloom was a "kangaroo-like pokémon with a mushroom cap on its head, a long tail ringed with green spore clusters, and red claws," I could draw you a picture of it, but it wouldn't . So if Max is already familiar with breloom, I wouldn''t describe it at all.

In general I would choose no more than around three aspects of the pokémon to describe and make sure those are the ones it makes the most sense for the character contemplating the pokémon to know/think about. For example, if this is a breloom that just evolved from Max's shroomish, he might be most concerned with the fact that it has limbs now. If he's fascinated by the fact that breloom gains a type upon evolution, perhaps he'd be most interested in features that suggest that (probably limbs again, lol). And so on.

You should also consider descriptions that get across the breloom's personality: how it holds itself, for example, the kinds of expressions it wears, any physical characteristics that suggest its personality (for example, if it's covered in scars it's probably big on battling). It's generally more important for readers to know how characters tend to think/feel than it is for them to know what they look like.

Looking at description this way also allows you to create a really memorable portrait of whatever it is you're describing. Like, when asked to describe a pikachu, like 90% of people are going to go with something along the lines of "small yellow rodent, lightning-bolt tail." Serviceable but doesn't stand out. So what if you instead went with, "One of the pikachu's ragged ears kept flopping to the left, but its eyes were bright and it followed the berry up and down as Sherri waved it." I think that sentence is much more memorable and shows a great deal more personality, too--but the focus is, again, not on describing the actual appearance. This is a chance for you to show off a bit and inject your own style into what you're writing about; more fun for readers, more fun for you (hopefully!).

Always the question is, why are you describing this thing? What are you trying to draw attention to?
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Really and truly
There are a few ways to consider how you want to go about using description in your story. Some writers prefer to describe every possible detail all at once, which can help create a clearer mental image for the reader, but also makes the action and progression of the story feel like it's slowing down for the reader, which can interrupt the flow and even take some readers out of it a little. Some writers prefer to only include a couple of the details they think are most interesting, or say the most about the character/thing being described, which means the story's flow doesn't get broken up and doesn't bog readers down with detail, but also means readers' mental image probably won't match perfectly with what the writer had in mind.

Full disclosure: my style used to be the former, which was a pretty popular style on this forum for awhile. On Serebii, it wasn't uncommon to say "well, maybe whoever is reading my Pokémon fan fic doesn't know exactly what each Pokémon looks like." Since then, I stick more with the latter style, mostly because I have stopped obsessing over being overly-descriptive and prioritized flow of my stories. I also assume that most people reading my fics know Pokémon pretty well, and if they don't know a particular Pokémon, they'll Google it.

All this to say, the current style in Pokémon fan fiction (at least on Serebii) is to go with the latter, and I think it's a general good choice. Even most novels don't spend tons of time describing each character, at least not in a big info-dump all at once. As Negrek pointed out, a great way to go about this is figuring out what details matter the most at that particular moment, and what impression it creates. (You can always add more details later in the story!) For instance, if you want to make a Tyranitar come across as scary, you can describe it as "a hulking beast, glaring with tiny eyes at the creatures huddled below it, shaking the rows of spikes on its back and swinging its spiked tail that could probably smash a tree to splinters." To show how elegant a Mitolic is, you can write "blinking serenely, the sea serpent's pale body undulated slowly on the sand, sunlight glinting off the scales of its multicoloured tail." Adding actions to your description makes it more interesting, and gives a nice sense of life and movement to your characters, even if they're not really doing much!

It's definitely tough to describe certain Pokémon (I always love when a non-Pokémon fan tries to describe a Pokémon based on someone's description alone), but Venia Silente had some great tips! I think you can save yourself a lot of anguish if you don't worry about every detail, but it's up to you!

Also, just to say: it's totally okay to skip around when writing your story! If a certain description or bit of dialogue or whatever is tripping you up, you can always come back to it later! Make some kind of note in the document that this section is missing something, and keep writing while you're still on a roll. Writers' block is a nasty thing, and this is a common way to get trapped by it!

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