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Hitmontalk: a Pokemon talk show.

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Morpher01

Bewear my power
Hello. This is an attempt at making a comedy fic (I'm really bad at these, so sue me). This is a talk show where the three Hitmons are hosts. So, enjoy!

...which may not happen.

Just to clairify things, here is some lingo translations.

( ) = scene appearance.

* * = character doing something.

Here's a list of episodes.

Episode 1: the phantom Pokemon (bit of a Star Wars refrence there, no offense meant to fans)

Episode 2: a conversation with Mewtwo (another Star Wars refrence. Again, no offense meant, fans)

Episode 3: an interview with the characters of my other fic, Shadows of Fear.

More to come!...if this fic survives. And yes, I am this negative most of the time.

And no, I did not copy Poketalk. If you don't like the style this is in, than go look at Poketalk and "Is this really Pokemon Colosseum".

And remember...

SPAM MAKES MORPHER01 ANGRY. YOU DON'T WANT ME TO BE ANGRY! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!


Anyway, here's episode 1.

EPISODE 1: THE PHANTOM POKEMON


(the three Hitmons walk into a room with a two-seated sofa on one side, since Hitmontop prefers to spin on his head ((again)) rather than sit. A Gengar, a Dusclops, a Banette and a Sableye are "sitting" in a four-seated sofa on the right side. There is a wooden table holding a white phone next to the two-seater.)

Hitmonlee: Okay, this is the very first episode of Hitmontalk, a talk show where we converse with Pokemon. No humans allowed. Anyway, Gengar, you get the first question. What's it like being part Poison-type?

Gengar: It bites. You think I like being shot at by Psychic-types every now and then along with Gastly and Haunter?

Hitmonchan: Oooookay, I guess you don't like it very much.

Gengar: Sha! No kidding! It absolutely BLOWS being part Poison-type. I WANT TO BE PART DARK LIKE SABLEYE!!!!!

Sableye: I know. I get that a lot. It's just the fact that I have no weaknesses and can become completely invincible with the help of a Trace Pokemon (a Pokemon that has Trace as its ability) and a Shedinja that ticks a lot of Ghost-types like Gen-goof here.

Gengar: CALL ME A GOOF WILL YOU!? *attacks Sableye*

Hitmonlee: SECURITY!!!

(about 8 Swalot and Gulpin come into the room, looking quite full)

Hitmonchan: Uh, what happened to the Machamps and Scizors that we hired for security detail?

Random Swalot: Um...we did lunch?

(a Scizor claw pokes out of the random Swalot's mouth, and a muffled voice saying "HELP ME!!" can be heard.)

Random Swalot: *sucks claw in* ...You heard and saw nothing. *scooches away along with the others*

Hitmonlee: Oh, great. Better bring in the Mightyenas.

(a bunch of Mightyenas rush in)

Random Mightyena: You called, boss?

Hitmonchan: Yeah, since all the Scizors and Machamps were eaten by Swalots and Gulpins, and because we're dealing with a rogue Ghost-type, you guys are up at bat.

Same random Mightyena: Sweet! Roar! *roars at Gengar and Sableye*

(upon hearing the Roar, Gengar and Sableye are too frightened of the Mightyena to continue fighting)

Gengar: *cringing in fear* G-g-g-g-get t-t-h-hat t-t-h-h-hing a-a-w-w-ay f-f-f-from m-m-m-m-me!

Sableye: *also cringing* Y-y-e-e-ea! M-m-m-make i-it g-g-g-o a-away!

Hitmonlee: All right, Bob. You can go now.

Bob (the Mightyena): Thanks. *walks away*

(upon Bob's departure, Gengar and Sableye seem to have calmed down. They have also stopped stuttering, but are shifting their eyes about, very wary. Suddenly, for once in his life, Hitmontop stops spinning on his head. He grabs a plate coaster from a nearby table ((not the one the phone is on)) and rolls it along the floor while chasing after it.)

Hitmontop: YAAAAAAAYYYY!!!!! ROLLER COASTER!!!!!!!!!

Banette: Is he always like that?

Hitmonchan: You would be too if you have the blood in your entire body rush to your head every day.

Dusclops: ...Point taken.

Hitmonlee: Anyway, next question. Do you think that there will be a legendary Ghost-type in the fourth generation?

Banette: I dunno. The fourth generation will probably be overrun with Psychic-types, like all generations are.

Gengar: Yeah, there's like 5 of them already. Please, people, cut down on the legendary Psychics!

Hitmonchan: Next question. What's your favorite legendary?

Gengar: Celebi. It's part Grass, meaning Poison is good against it. I'd love to battle that alien-looking thing someday.

Dusclops: Rukario. It's part Fighting. Any Fighting-type attacks won't hurt me.

Sableye and Banette: Same here.

Hitmonlee: Wow...the only reason these ghosts like legendaries is so they can beat the living *bleep* out of them using type advantages.

Hitmontop: *still chasing after the coaster* ROLLING, ROLLING, ROLLING!! GET THOSE MILTANK ROLLING!!! ROLLING, ROLLING, ROLLING, RAW-HIIIIIIIIIDE!!!!

Hitmonlee: Okay, we're out of time.

Hitmonchan: But it's only 3:30! We end at 6:00!

Hitmonlee: I know. I don't want to send our ratings down Mount Rushmore on a Golem's rocky butt by way of Hitmontop's idiocy.

Hitmonchan:...Point taken. Anyway, this was the first episode of Hitmontalk! Goodnight!

******


Read, review, rate and don't spam.
 

Morpher01

Bewear my power
Sigh...44 or so views, and not a single review. I knew this fic wouldn't survive. Sorry if I absolutely stink at comedy fics.

Here's episode 2.



Episode 2: a conversation with Mewtwo


(here we are again in the studio. We still have Hitmonlee and Hitmonchan in the chair on the left, as well as Hitmontop still spinning on his head. We also have Mewtwo in the same chair that the ghost types were)


Hitmonlee: Okay, Mewtwo, first question. What human do you dislike the most?

Mewtwo:...Is there a need to answer that question? If there is, then it's Giovanni. Happy now?

Hitmonchan: Whatever. Question two. What's your favorite Pokemon?

Mewtwo: Myself, of course. And my superclones.

Hitmonlee:...Oooooooookay.

(the phone rings for the first time on this show)

Hitmonchan: Call-up on aisle one!

(after Hitmonchan says that, everyone ((except Hitmontop, who is still spinning on his head)) stares at him with the following expression: o_O)

Hitmonchan: Fine. Just trying to make it interesting.

Hitmonlee: *picks up phone because he is the only one that has fingers* Hello?

Some n00by Trainer: OMG I LEIK NEEDZ MEWTWO!! GIMMEHIMGIMMEHIMGIMMEHIM!!! YOU ARE A BAD POKEMON!! YOU SUKZORS!!!!! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!

Hitmonlee: ...*hangs up phone* That was scary.

(suddenly, Hitmontop spins behind Mewtwo's seat, then hops up on top of the chair, then starts tapping Mewtwo on the head)

Hitmontop: KITTYKITTYKITTYKITTYKITTYKITTYKITTYKITTYKITTYKITTYKITTYKITTYKITTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mewtwo: *throws Hitmontop away with a Psychic*...That was just freaky.

Hitmonchan: You're telling me? Anyway, third question. Do you like any of the other Psychic legendaries?

Mewtwo: Hmmm...well, I was cloned from Mew's DNA, so I guess I owe him for making me alive. I really don't have much of an opinion on the others.

Hitmonlee: Cool.

(the phone rings again)

Hitmonlee: I bet 20 Pokedollars that it's the n00by trainer again. *picks up phone*

The n00by Trainer: I SERIOUS MAN!! ME NEEDZ MEWTWO!! GIMMEHIM!!GIMMEGIMMEGIMMEGIMMEGIMMEGIMMEGIMMEGIMMEGIMMEHIMHIMHIMHIMHIMHIMHIMHIMHIMHIMHIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!ME NEEDZ HIM NOWZ!!!!!!!!! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hitmonlee: ...*hangs up again, then looks to Hitmonchan* You owe me 20, punchy-boy.

Hitmonchan: *bleep* it.

(to the horror of everyone, Hitmontop comes back, still spinning on his head. He jumps on top of a table)

Hitmontop: I BE FEARLESS!!! FEAR ME, MORTALS!!!

Hitmonlee: Quick Hitmontop, what's 2 + 8?

Hitmontop: BEANS!!!

Hitmonchan: *whispering to Mewtwo* Try to feed him a simple math equation. *to Hitmontop in normal speech* What's 5 + 5?

Hitmontop: YOGURT!!

Mewtwo: Simple. *conjures a math book from out of nowhere, then stuffs it into Hitmontop's mouth*

Hitmonchan: ...Mewtwo, that's not what I meant by "feed him a simple math equation".

Mewtwo: I know. I just wanted to shut him up.

Hitmonlee: Ooooookay. Final question. How many superclones do you have?

Mewtwo: Lemme see...I think I lost count at twelve.

Hitmonchan: Oooookie dokie. That's it for the second episode of Hitmontalk. Seeya!

******

Please read, PLEASE review, and PLEASE PLEASE give a higher rating.

Sorry if it's too short, but I can't seem to come up with great jokes.
 
B

BlueAbsol

Guest
Er, no offense, but it's too muck like PokeTalk. OK, this one has no humans, but consider: The spam messsage on top mirrors Typhlogirls, with a new sentance added. The name sounds too alike. It's a script, like PokeTalk. There is a phone for 'people' to call in. They fight alot. Basic humor is like a watered-down PokeTalk. I know , I know, no law saying you can't make a talk show, but typhlogirl asked if ou make one, not to make it too much like her fic. Maybe comedyisn't your thing.
 

Eternal Daydreamer

Surrender to the Sea
Same thing as BlueAbsol said. No one reviewed this because this is a blantant copy of PokeTalk. I wouldn't be surprised if you came out with something else that is copying someone else's work... No offense.
 
Guess what, Morpher01? You just remade your own, plagiarizing, crappy script fic. What's that? You say you didn't copy off Poketalk? Try looking at how many characters take the role of interviewing guests, and the title of the show. It's very obvious. As stated in your last attempt, script fics are allowed, I suppose, but ones like this are qualified to be closed. You've also redone your fic, making it practically the same thing. And you still have capitalization errors.
 

Morpher01

Bewear my power
I told you people that I absolutely suck at comedy fics :(. I guess I'll have to close this...somehow.
 
You could always go to the Thread Tools and say Delete Thread. Or was it Delete First Post?
 

Felix Feral Fezirix

Densetsu no Pikachu!
Meh...I guess I don't need to point out something the others have already pointed out. You're actually doing fine if you make YOUR OWN ORIGINAL studio. Cut security for one. Cut the phone. Be original. E-mail would work. Hehe. Just an opinion.
 
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