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Hoenn Debut

R

Rodian

Guest
Chapter One: A Late Start

A shiny golden cup rest upon a pallet in the centre of the large, circular, and black room. The cup seemed to emit a sort of light, which in turn kept the and only the centre illuminated; very slowly the boy tread towards it, his hand outstretched, it was close, he could feel its cool surface against his fingers -
Wingull! Wingull! Wingull!” … Cracks of light had began to slowly break through ten-year-old Conan Ludwig’s window.

The boy had been very anxiously awaiting this day for quite a time now, like many others, he was anxious to begin his very own adventure with Pokémon.
Crankily the boy sat up in bed, hitting the switch to turn off his loud Wingull alarm clock; in the process he knocked it onto the floor. (He made a mental note to trash it later, just out of annoyance).

His brown hair was even messier than usual this morning, flattened against his head, but each strand pointed in different directions nearing the bottom, creating a sort of ‘wavy’ effect.
His eyes, although only narrowly opened and dark from previous sleep, glittered in the slowly expanding sunlight -

“Jynx, Jynx, Jynx, Jynx…!” Came a vibrant, feminine voice and a short dark figure burst into the room, her long blonde hair jiggling as she flew across the room towards the boy. “Jynx, Jynx!” The Jynx moved slowly towards him, her lips seemed to somehow stretch towards Conan. He could hear her usual Mwah sound which occurred whenever she attempted kissing anybody -

He had to endure this every morning until - “Jynx, m’dear?” A short, chubby old man appeared at the foot of
boy’s rather small bedroom, the man’s face was etched with wrinkles that seemed to tell his age, however, he always wore a very warm smile.
The Jynx quickly scattered over to the old man, he wasn’t actually much taller than the human-like Pokémon.

“Grandpa?” murmured Conan, eyes still half closed together with excess of sleep. “Yes, m’boy?” said the elderly man in a gentle, squeaky, but rather high-pitched voice. “Err-” Conan stuttered, rubbing away at his eyes until he could see clearly. “What time is it, Grandpa?” He asked almost absentmindedly, although it was a rather foolish question to ask, he had only, moments earlier been in the clear view of an alarm clock.

“Quarter to nine, m’boy.” said his Grandpa, having first tidied up Conan’s bed sheets, opened the improperly drew curtains, and returned his alarm clock up to it’s place on the cabinet beside Conan’s bed, Conan noticed that the Jynx had seemed to had vanished from the room entirely.

“Quarter to -” - “Grandpa! I should have been woke up earlier! I have to go in fifteen minutes!” Conan yelled, his voice was desperate, but also touched with slight annoyance. “But you were sleeping…I didn’t want to disturb you.” stuttered the elderly man, who was now thoroughly cleaning Conan’s wardrobe.

Gritting his teeth angrily, Conan pulled his pyjamas off with such brutality as he lobbed them across the room, his alarm clock came hurtling off the self once more. Conan redressed in his usual attire (having first shooed his grandfather out of the room); a pair of grey and black pants with over a dozen pockets, most of which he never made use of. And also a pair of plain white trainers, with various black markings in certain places although they were almost indistinguishable, the trainers were obviously worn and tattered. Also, he wore a black shirt, simple, over which he wore a bright green and orange sweater which seemed to bring the outfit together, and two new additions had been made to his complete his ‘Trainer’ image; his grandfather had recently bought him, a strap that clung to the strap of his backpack and allowed for Pokéballs to be attached for easy accessibility and efficiency. And also a grey backpack, tattered with the essential supplies if he expected to survive in his journeys, some underwear, and pyjamas, and food, and an sleeping bag (his favourite, it had the image of a large Plusle on it, dancing across a canvas of blue.), and also a number of other things.

“Five minutes to nine! You better hurry up, lad!" yelled his grandfather breathily from the kitchen, (Who was busy being assistant chef to his Jynx, whom was, on the contrary, not a very good chef at all, Conan never partook in any of her…creations.)

Conan hardly said a word to his grandfather before he shot out the front door, toppling over the cobbles clumsily due to the rate of his acceleration. He sprinted excitedly through Littleroot town, until finally a large whitewash building came into sight, a big sign erected just in front it of it, read: Professor Birch's Pokémon Research Laboratory.
 
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R

Rodian

Guest
Chapter Two: A Future Bond!

Slowly the laboratory grew larger; Professor Birch had three months earlier, told Conan that he would be presenting the new ten-year-old with his first Pokémon on his tenth birthday. He had been waiting anxiously for those few months.

Today, it was going to happen…he was going to get his OWN Pokémon, it was unbelievable, like it wasn’t actually happening to him. Like most children of his age, he was a keen aspiring Trainer, and often expected great things for himself; that he would become a very powerful Trainer, respected, famous. He would become the Champion, and hold his title for all eternity. That he would, in his eyes, become perfect.

Conan slowly tread up the cobbled path, taking in the wondrous array of flowers confined to each bed beside him as he passed, he soon came face to face with a glass panel door with a square black handle.

Pressing his hand firmly against the handle, he pulled the door opened, it seemed to offer some resistance but opened nevertheless, stepping inside, he noticed the inside was just as spectacular as the out, sky-high machines, bookcases, enormous pictures of various Pokémon, among which stood large framed images of Mudkip, Treecko and Torchic in their natural habitats. There were less scientists or aides than Conan had expected because he could only total up four.

Looking ahead, he saw a large marble table in the very centre of the laboratory, three Pokéballs rested in the three perfectly sized delves. A small piece of card had been erected affront each: Mudkip, Treecko, and Torchic: Available for Beginner Trainers.

Conan smiled to himself, this must be it. One of these Pokémon must have been his; but he couldn’t see Professor Birch anywhere. They residents said that he did fieldwork a lot…but he had actually summoned Conan to his lab on that particular day. Perhaps he was just running a little late? Swooping his face low at the Pokéballs, he stared at them excitedly, as if, if he looked hard enough, he’d be able to see the creatures stowed inside them. It was a ridiculous idea, really.

“Hello Conan.” said a wispy voice behind him, a thin man wearing a spotless white lab coat appeared behind him. He had a circular face and wore large black glasses that magnified his eyes to an untold extent. “Professor Birch sent for you, right?” Conan said nothing, but nodded. The man turned on his heels, stepped behind the marble table, and swept his hands slowly across each piece of cardboard, signalling attention. “Mudkip, Treecko, and Torchic. I have been instructed to present you with one.” Conan stared at the Pokéballs, mouth rather slack. “Could I have a look at them…?”

The aide bit his lip slightly, for a moment Conan thought he would refuse, but he picked the Pokéball farthest the left. “Torchic. It’s a fire type.” He clicked the red and white sphere, in an instant and a quick flash of light, a small creature, which was distinguishable as a chick, appeared. It ruffled it’s feathers and lowered to the table, apparently settling down for a nap. “It’s not very…energetic, is it?” Conan murmured, staring at the chick. The aide seemed lost for words too. He recalled it without much hesitation, and picked up the Pokéball in the middle. “Treecko.” He muttered as he summoned the gecko Pokémon. The Treecko performed a few flips, a few punches, a few kicks. Unsure why, Conan frowned, it was strong, energetic, fast. But he just didn’t want it. The aide recalled the protesting gecko and picked up the last Pokéball, the rightmost one. “Mudkip.”

Pressing the mechanical sphere’s centre button, a creature appeared, a cute, energetic creature. It resembled a fish of some sort, but it also didn’t…it was difficult to describe. The mudfish Pokémon walked quickly around the table, eventually it caught sight of Conan, whom smiled slightly. He liked this one. He looked forth to greet it, but it quickly became a red aura which retracted back into the Pokéball.

The aide smiled towards Conan, running his finger across the three names once more. “Now you’ve seen them all, which would you like?” Conan wasted no time in deciding. He would definitely not have the gecko one. The chick one was pretty cute, but it wasn’t very energetic. The last one, the mudfish one had both qualities. Cute and energetic, and he just felt a bond towards it. He looked at the Pokéball it had been conjured back into, and said, loudly: “That one.” The aide smiled towards him, and unclipped the Pokéball from it’s delve. He passed it over airily. “Here is your new Pokémon, Mr. Ludwig.” Conan took hold of it, the feel of the cold sphere in his hand was spectacular. It gave him a feeling of security, power, and excitement. It was awesome.

He clipped the sphere onto his backpack strap, it fitted perfectly. “Now, you’ve got your Pokémon, make I take a few details?” Conan nodded and shook his head occasionally as the aide asked questions. The questions varied from name, age, objective, home place, contact numbers. The ‘questions’ took quite a long time, because the next time he looked out the window, the sky seemed to be growing dark, the sun retiring for the day. “I better be going…thanks a lot!” He quickly made his way out of the laboratory, and back towards his grandfather’s house…he’d be setting off tomorrow, because he’d be spending tonight getting to know his new companion better.
 
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Omega Pirate

shove it up ya bum!
I read chapter 1. It's very good I just have one problem. I think the main character (Whos name I don't know) should be older. It's just that 10 year olds are so stupid and immature and making them seem mature and brave etc. like the anime did just annoys me because it's not true. Other than that I can tell it's going to be good.
 
R

Rodian

Guest
(His name is Conan...and he's not brave or mature. He's quite the opposite...cowardly and immature. :D)
 

Literate

black cat, black cat
Well, I read this yesterday, and for some reason I didn't post. ^_^'

So I read it again.

Grammer: If this counts punctuation and order of words, then it is not okay.

Like these:

Today, it was going to happen…he was going to get his OWN Pokémon, it was unbelievable, like it wasn’t actually happening to *him*.
Break up the sentence right down the middle after pokemon. I don't think you're supposed to have astericks.

Like most of his age, he was a keen aspiring Trainer, often expecting great things of himself; that he would become a very powerful Trainer, respected, famous.
@_@ That was confusing. And I know confusing. Sort it out differently. Like: 'Like most kids his age, he was a keen aspiring Trainer, who often expect great things of himself, like that he would become a very powerful Trainer, both respected and famous.' Trainer can be decapitalized.

There were less scientists or aides than Conan had expected, he could only total up four…
Comma=semicolon. Why? Because you're adding a half sentence to it. Or a period. Whatever 'floats your boat.'

And whenever the dialogue switches to another peron, you'll have to start new paragraph.

Now originality, not too good, since you copied some of the anime off, like the sleeping late part.

And I agree with him, Mudkip is cute...

Anyway, hope my advice helps.

~PEACE~
 
R

Rodian

Guest
Thanks for your comments. I’ll try and correctly the grammar mistakes and things. But I don’t recall ‘coping’ anything. Not knowingly anyway. He didn’t actually ‘get up’ late. He wasn’t woken up at the time he asked his grandfather to do so.

Edit: And the 'Trainer' part, I tend to keep capitalized. Because it's a job, profession.
 
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Literate

black cat, black cat
Yeah, but anyway, it is kind of. Well, it's the same thing Ash did when he was getting his new pokemon. And the kind of same thing where May gets her pokemon. Kind of. Well, what I mean to say that this goes along the line of the actual game and anime. So that's what I meant.
 
R

Rodian

Guest
Chapter Three: Hoenn Alone?

It was a familiar scene in Conan's bedroom, very untidy once more with the curtains improperly drew, so the light that did manage to sneak in only illuminated the wall to the left of the small bedroom. The clock beside Conan's hand read 9:00 am, below it was a article from a newspaper, Conan had read it so much the night before, it had become completely flat upon the table.

Team Aqua strikes again?

The elderly couple that live on top of Mount Pyre have reported that the Red and Blue orbs that supposedly maintain balance over Hoenn have mysterious vanished. The genuinely concerned couple fear for Hoenn's safety, saying that the orbs must not be separated. Authorities are looking into this, reports show that Team Magma may also have a hand in -


The remainder of the newspaper was blocked off by a large cup and plate from bedtime snacks that Conan had earlier eaten. A large grunt came from Conan who turned over in his sleep, more light had managed to peep into the bedroom now. Conan knew that shortly, he’d get a visit from her.

“Jynx! Jynx!” came a vividly familiar voice, and the human-like Pokémon burst into the room, bearing a duster and a rather high-tech looking device. By now, Conan had bolted upright, his hair messier than ever, he was looked directly at Jynx, whom, he noticed was slowly edging towards him with her usual pursed lips. “What’s that you have there?” Conan asked quickly, Jynx looked at the device in her hand and rushed over to him (Conan remembered flinching) but instead of trying to smother him in kisses, she instead handed it over, and rushed out of the room.

Conan flipped open the device, instantly a small piece of paper fell out and floated to the floor, the device looked very technical, with a lot of buttons and dials, bending down and picking up the paper, he opened it and read; the handwriting was very neat.

Dear Conan

I’m sorry I was not at my lab yesterday as I promised, I was out doing fieldwork, so, as an apology, I have given you this. A Pokédex. It should be useful in your journeys, it has information on all the Pokémon your likely to encounter in your travels. Use it wisely.

Prof. Birch


Conan studied the red device closely, tapped a few buttons into it and pointed it, at random at the floor. There was a loud beep, then a prolonged ‘zing’ sound, then a picture of a familiar Pokémon appeared: Jynx had appeared on the screen beside her picture was a box long of writing, most of the words so sophisticated Conan could not comprehend it.

*

Having first dressed in clean clothes, ensured his backpack still contained essential supplies, and spent breakfast with his grandfather and Jynx, Conan set off down the cobbled path leading out of Littleroot.
It didn’t take as long as he had expected to reach Route 101.

“So many Pokémon…” He muttered excitedly, slowly treading through the long grasses of the route, as he walked watched Pokémon scamper around excitedly, watched Trainers battle, children play. Looking ahead, he noticed a girl and a Pokémon, a Pikachu, who seemed to be sparking violently at the cheeks.
 
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