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Hoenn's Legacy

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D

Dark Assasin

Guest
yeah something that no one will of is that the desert is a plain and Regirock fights them there being encased in a tomb but Groudon winning turns the place into a desert
 
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legend_master

Guest
no groudon and kyorge will be locked away first and then whichever regi is left (cant remember which one is still alive) will ask mew to seal him in until the world needs them again
 
~Chapter 8: Invoking the Meteorite~​

~Regirock~

I couldn't believe my eyes. Another chamber had been formed, trapping my brother within. Grief gnawed at my sanity, threatening to consume me. I fought against it. This time, though, I tried to liberate my brother. I sent power at the earth, permeating the soil. I found a thick stone a few feet down, and drew it upward.

The stone burst from the ground, and hovered in midair, awaiting my command. I made a stabbing motion with my arm, directed towards Registeel's tomb. The rock obeyed, and slammed into the chamber. It bounced off uselessly. I took no notice, not letting myself accept the fact that Registeel was trapped.

I punched again, with greater force. The rock rammed itself into the dome again forcefully. A crack echoed out from the area of impact. I examined the dome hopefully, but saw no signs of weakness. Angry now, I sent a flurry of jabs at the dome, making the rock follow. It crashed into the tomb repeatedly, as though possessed. Weariness set in, but I ignored it. All that mattered to me right now was Registeel's escape.

I raised my arm, and the rock hovered over the protrusion of stone. I rammed my arm into the ground with every last ounce of strength I posessed. The rock followed suit, and plummeted down at the dome. It cracked on impact, splitting in two. Staring blankly at the stone, I gave up. Groudon and Kyogre's strength was far greater than mine, and no matter how powerful I was, they were too strong.

I fell forward, thrusting my arms out to keep me in a kneeling position. I lowered my head. Had I been able to cry, I would've. I didn't care about the water from Kyogre's geyser raining down on my head. The only thought in my mind was that I was alone now, and the two Pokémon I cared about more than anything else were gone.

I sat there for a while. That single thought echoed throughout my head, repeating its grizzly message over and over. Only when a particularly loud wail shook the earth did I remember what was going on. Kyogre and Groudon were here, and I was sitting in plain view. I bolted upright, and looked around. What was I to do? Whatever I had tried so far, Kyogre and Groudon had stopped. And each time those I loved were snatched from me.

But it didn't matter anymore. I had nothing left to lose. My brothers were gone, my home was gone, and the two Titans were conquering the planet I lived on. There was nothing I could lose now; nothing but my own life. Setting that thought firmly in my mind, canceling the grievous thought that repeated itself endlessly in my ravaged mind, I walked forward.

If I was going to die, I was going to go out with a bang. I gathered energy from all parts of my body, storing it in my arm. If I could get a clean shot, I would probably be able to kill one of the two. The massive release of energy would kill me instantly, but my death would not be in vain. And I would have my revenge.

I walked forward with steely determination, approaching the wrestling Sovereigns. Something caught my eye, though. Something raw red and lying near Registeel's death room. Mew! I had completely forgotten it in face of Registeel's demise. I moved toward it, and nudged it with one of my razor sharp arms. Mew's eyes opened slowly, as though it was just waking up from a rejuvenating nap.

Mew, Registeel's gone. It's just you and me now, I informed it somberly. Mew looked at me in shock, as though it doubted my words.

What can we do? We have no advantages anymore. I thought we had a chance when it was the four of us combined, I said, turning my head away at the last sentence. For some reason, I couldn't find it in me to look at Mew. I didn't want to burden it with my crushing sadness.

To beat the Sovereigns, we need much more power. Groudon has found a power source, and it has evidently benefited from it. If we can find some relic of absolute power, we may have a chance, Mew said. Its voice trembled slightly as it said these words. I turned back to it, and found its eyes streaming with tears. I thought hard, trying to forget my grief long enough to form a plan. There was only one place I knew that may have the power we seeked.

The Celestial Crater, I thought simply.

Mew stared at me, and asked, Where or what is that?

The Fallarbor Mountain has been recently destroyed by a huge Meteorite, right outside of Fallarbor Plains. The huge Meteorite sat there, nearly a mile in length. It must house tremendous power, and that power could be what we needed to end the war, I told it, hope filling my voice.

Saying no more, Mew ripped open a portal in front of Registeel's chamber. I took one last look at my brother's resting place before being sucked away into the wormhole. It pained me to know that Chamber may never open again. Seconds later, I found myself staring at a titanic boulder. It stretched sky high; it was so tall that I could not see the sky above it.

No time like the present, Mew said with a trace of its old exuberance in its voice. I agreed, and pulled my arm back. I scanned the rock with my mind, scoping out weak points. I found an unstable part, and thrust my arm into it. It punctured the Meteor easily, and my spear-like hand reached into the core of the stone. I felt power teeming on the other side. I focused my mind on it, and began sucking it out of the rock.

As soon as the power parted company with the space rock, a great crack ran down the middle of the rock. I felt the force intensify hazardously on the other side. I withdrew my hand, horrified at what I had done. The rock trembled, and, thinking quickly, I summoned a wall of soil to cover Mew and I. I did so just in time; the Meteorite burst, and pure white light shot in all directions. I couldn't see; the light was brighter than any I had seen before, and it burned into my eyes.

I closed my eyes and shook my head, waiting for the enormous explosion to cease. I felt the power streaming all around me fade after a while. I opened all of my eyes, and saw Mew cowering at my feet. I let the barrier drop, knowing there was no danger now. The stone had cracked apart, and the two sections had slanted to either side. In the middle, a tall red figure stood, accompanied by a small white and yellow figure. Mew's already large eyes widened.

What is it? I asked, noticing the figures moving towards us.

It's.....It's.....Jirachi....and Deoxys...., Mew uttered faintly. As Mew said this, the forms zoomed forward, straight towards us. I raised a stone wall once more, but they crashed through it easily, as though it were paper rather than granite. They both grabbed Mew's arms, and carried it skyward.

Wait! NO! Mew cried, thrashing desperately.

Deoxys glared backward at me, and said to Mew, You have no need for this planet. It is doomed to destruction. You are important, though. Important enough for us to risk our lives saving you.

Its deep voice was quite intimidating, but I cried out, Mew and I can save this place! Just give us a chance!

Hah, I highly doubt that. This planet's safety was forfeited when mew created Groudon. We have discovered a superior planet, and we are taking Mew their for its own safety, Jirachi shot back, growing smaller as it grew more distant.

But Earth is my home! I can't leave it, Mew said savagely.

You already are, Deoxys stated simply. Mew let out a scream of frustration before it and its comrades disappeared into the darkening sky.

~*CB*~​
 

Ice_Scyther

FFFFFFFFF-
Oh crud this is good!!!!! I'm a new reader but this story rocks!!!!! And Registeel was cool!!!!! 5 stars!
 
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lone_wolf816

Guest
nice chapter it was really good! its awsome short but really good!
 
D

Dark Assasin

Guest
so far my theory is ahead with there being a plain and mew not there to protect Rocky.I liked the cowardly mew part quite much
 

armaldo

Pittsburgh Pirates 7th Super Bowl
I can relate myself to Registeel on many many levels hahahahahah................................ooohhhhhh...now i made myself sad
 

Drayano

Pokémon Professor?
Well it's obviously going to be different than the first thought, I know you're not that predictable ;).

Anyway, looks like Regirock's on his own. Mew's gone. And Groudon and Kyogre are still in Hoenn. I wonder how Rock's gonna get out of this one? The story's building up. I'll have to read Skull of the Cubone sometime, you're a good story writer.
 

billy5772

SENIOR
CHAPTER 1

Seeing no other escape, and braced myself, and jetted upwards.

I think the first “and” was probably supposed to be an “I”, making the sentence:

Seeing no other escape, I braced myself and jetted upwards.

CHAPTER 2

Deciding not comment on that, I turned back to Groudon, who was nearing Kyogre's territory.

Deciding not to comment

CHAPTER 3

Right away, I can tell this is gonna be a great chapter. I like the beginning descriptions of the sharp weapon piercing groudon’s flesh.

I focused on the granite deep beneath the ground, and mainpulated them with waving gestures.

manipulated

Forgetting my duties in freeing Kyogre's soldiers, I teleported to Groudon's loaction.

loaction to location

As I floated through the wormhole, I froxe time in its place.

froxe to froze

It stared at Regirock's hands, and sent Psychic power outward.

It to I

I suppose having Celebi fix everything would ruin the story...
Well, I didn't really have it in me to slaughter a baby Vulpix, so I revived it.
Thanks, I'm glad you liked it. Personally, I thought it was a bit short.

Nah, I found that part pretty interesting. Although, since Vulpix was rescued, that kind of removed the reason that Regirock had to attack in the first place.

Chapter 3 was overall pretty good. So far, though, it’s hard to feel connected with any of your characters. The Vulpix dying in chapter 2 was supposed to be a kind of tragedy, but it wasn’t as intense as it could’ve been. Maybe more time developing characters and how they relate to each other will solve this? I don’t know, I’ll keep reading.



CHAPTER 4

I shot the enrgy downward,

energy

Kyogre slid down the hill, all the landed before it melting away and filling with water.

I think you meant to say land instead of landed. And the “hill” kind of caught me off guard as I wasn’t aware Kyogre was on a hill. More description of the area could’ve helped here.

I like how you describe the Regis partitioning their power to different muscles (i.e. anti-gravity muscle, arms, legs) at different times. That’s an interesting take on a legendary’s power that I haven’t quite seen before.

CHAPTER 5

I like how you switch perspectives in this story. You do first-person very well.

It looked around, and saw Kyogre's giant form diving down.

It to I

Great, I'm too fat to swim, I thought.

That made me laugh.

Hm, let's see, I'm surrounded by dirty water, in the middle of an ocean that's deserted except for a murderous whale trying to kill us. Frankly, I'm not sure how I am. Can I buy a vowel?

Ha! Another example of excellent use of humor.

CHAPTER 6:

even after we beat it and took a through beating in the progress.

through to thorough

…both shared, so as we conquered one, we won't have to worry about the other.

So as we conqured…we wouldn’t

any moment now on of the titans would breach the surface.

any moment now one of the titans…

I liked this chapter. It was good to see them almost gain the upper hand and then get bested by groudon and kyogre again. This is a story relating how all the regi were sealed, right? I’m interested to see how steel and rock go down.

CHAPTER 7:

They got Registeel now, too?! Okay, only one more regi to go. Is this fic almost ending?

I found some simple typos in the chapter, but they weren’t worth pointing out as you could probably skim over the thing and see them immediately. You used It instead of I quite a few times throughout the fic, so watch out for that.

Um, what I said before is starting to fade. I think you did a good job of developing the characters of the three regi. You used their comments while alone and with each other to pull this off, and it was pretty effective. The whole fic is battle after battle, though, so it leaves little room for other types of characterization besides dialogue based, I guess. A change in pace would be nice as the continuous freeze groudon, run, attack kyogre, run, dodge magma, run, dodge surf attack, run, formula is making the fic a little monotonous. But, it is about a big war, though, so what am I talking about?

CHAPTER 8:

Pretty intense. I wasn’t expecting Jirachi and Deoxys to be inside of the meteorite. I actually didn’t know it was them at first, either. A little more description on their appearance would’ve made it easier to picture. Anyway, overall, a great fic. I’m interested to see what plan Regirock comes up with now that he’s all on his own. If all four of them couldn’t do it, what chance does he stand?

Well, yeah. I’m caught up now and anxiously awaiting the next chapter.
 
Drayano said:
Well it's obviously going to be different than the first thought, I know you're not that predictable ;).

Anyway, looks like Regirock's on his own. Mew's gone. And Groudon and Kyogre are still in Hoenn. I wonder how Rock's gonna get out of this one? The story's building up. I'll have to read Skull of the Cubone sometime, you're a good story writer.
Oh please don't. That Fic fails in comparison to this....I'm mediocre at the very best in TSOTC, I've long since 'honed my skills'. TSOTC was pretty much just an introduction to writing for me(and I plan to make the sequel a lot better written and a lot more thrilling).

billy5772: Thanks. I haven't been writing this on Microsoft Word. I was relying on joshua for beta-ing, but I figured he didn't want to after three successive Chapters were sent to him. I should Copy/Paste this on Word to find my errors, I suppose. Thanks for pointing all those errors out, I'll fix them as soon as possible.
Kyogre and Groudon fear and Legendary which is not under their control. They have power enough to defeat them. They go to great lengths to eliminate them, so if/when Regirock is captured, Groudon and Kyogre would battle each other with the utmost ferocity now that their main threats are vanquished. The Regis, with nowhere near as much power, are forced to come up with various plans to try to defeat their foes discreetly. But I see what you mean by this becoming repititive, so I'll try to mix things up a bit next Chapter.
This Fic is far from drawing to a close. But, at this point in the story, reminding anyone of the intended timeline would be too large of a Spoiler, so I'll simply say it has three parts to it, a trilogy of sorts, although it will all be one big Fic.
Speaking of the next Chapter, the new Chapter will be up tonight. I would've done it yesterday, but I spent the day celebrating my birthday, so I didn't have much time for here, of course.

~*CB*~​
 
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Joshua - Shadow Brigadier

Well-Known Member
CB said:
billy5772: Thanks. I haven't been writing this on Microsoft Word. I was relying on joshua for beta-ing, but I figured he didn't want to after three successive Chapters were sent to him. I should Copy/Paste this on Word to find my errors, I suppose. Thanks for pointing all those errors out, I'll fix them as soon as possible.

I did still want to do it, I just couldn't get the time at that point to go through them, and after you stopped sending me the chapters, I just thought you didn't want my help anymore.

Oh, and Happy Belated Birthday! I'm sorry I didn't PM you and wish you a Happy Birthday.

As to your fic... *jaw drops*

Wow. That's all I can say. Beautiful work Blizz, and I look forward to the next chapters.

Joshua
 
P

-Psychic Chickens-

Guest
~*Commander Blizzard*~ said:
Oh please don't. That Fic fails in comparison to this....I'm mediocre at the very best in TSOTC, I've long since 'honed my skills'. TSOTC was pretty much just an introduction to writing for me(and I plan to make the sequel a lot better written and a lot more thrilling).

Eh, I liked that one quite alot. It seems all of your fics are very dramatic, no?

Anyway, I really am liking this. Sike's pretty much already highlighted all of the stuff that was absolutly hilarious, so yeah.Regirubber, Regipants, and Regiburger...:p

P.S. I can't wait till your sequel to TSOTC!
 
Ah, OK, thanks for clearing that up. I wondered...

Thanks to both of you for your kind comments.

apurplepikachuv2.1: As far as I'm concerned, the only good thing in TSOTC was the original ideas I used occasionally. It did help me differentiate personalities, though, so I do owe it some credit. And it was my first Fic, so I guess I can't just delete it or anything(especially as I've spent at least 8 months on it. Deleting it would be erasing many months of hard work). Glad to know someone besides my two regulars read it, though.
EDIT: Ah, it seems the Summer FanFiction Awards have begun. I'll have to work harder on this if I hope to receive any nominations.....TSOTC only got one nomination, so I do hope I get more with this Fic.

~*CB*~​
 
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Sike Saner

Peace to the Mountain
Aw, Regirock is so caring...I knew I'd find something to really like and appreciate about that guy...That, and the fact that we were this close to seeing it use Explosion, weren't we? I wonder, though, if that would have actually worked...I suppose it's fortunate for Regirock that we didn't have to have the opportunity to find out. :) But dang, that it would be willing to do that is really quite awesome and commendable.

And YAY! Deoxys and Jirachi are here...hey! Thieves! Give back that little pink fetal kitty! Ah, well. I hope we get to see more of Deoxys; it'd be neat to see it phase in and out of its different forms.
 
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legend_master

Guest
So when are you going to post the next chapter. I cant wait for it
 

armaldo

Pittsburgh Pirates 7th Super Bowl
Me too. I love the story so far.
 
It'll be here tonight, have patience. A few hours at the most.

~*CB*~​
 
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