How can I make a Five-Person "adventures in a reigon" fic unique?

[Hywel]

Four of my friends and I want to work together to write a Fanfic where all five of us somehow get sucked into the pokemon series, get a pokemon, and adventure through the region together.

I know, it sounds awful.

Since I'm the smartest of my friends, I'm going to do the actual writing, the rest are just going to give ideas. The problem is, I don't see how can I put an original twist on this, or make it seem even remotely readable.

We will all be using characters based on ourselves, around 15 to 16 years old. There won't be any god-modding or Mary Sues allowed, we agreed on this at the start, after I explained what a Mary Sue is. We added on a lot of emotional/mental issues, character flaws and other things to our characters to make them more interesting to read about. For example: my character is a cold, calculating arrogant jerk who treats everything like objects or worse, hates idiotic actions and people, before the events of this story he only played the game for the strategy, thinking in attack damage calculation and probability rather than caring about the pokemon he uses. He'll have either a Sceptile, Bisharp, or both.(They will start as Treecko/Pawniard before evolving.) I might send him through a guilt trip, or a "Despair Event Horizon". By the end, he'll probably learn something about friendship, or love, or something like that, making him act nicer to his friends. Alternatively, he'll disregard the entire experience in a comical fashion. Either one works.

In the fic, when we get sucked into the game,(I feel real physical pain in my forehead and left eyebrow every time I say or write this,) we will be scattered around, pretty far from each other, but we will probably meet each other and get together before the third chapter starts. They will be big chapters.

We haven't yet decided what region we will adventure through, only that it won't be Kanto or Johto. Therefore, it will either be Hoenn, Unova or Sinnoh. We want to use pokemon from all generations no matter what region it is, and none of us will ever capture a legendary pokemon. I insisted upon this after Jess asked if she could start with a Mew. (I said no, obviously). They might talk to us in our dreams, or something like that, but we won't battle or capture them.

Speaking of which, we will not meet, or talk to, anyone from the games or anime. This means we won't meet ash, My character won't kiss May, and Jess certainly won't be hit on by Brock. If we choose Unova and have to battle the Striaton Gym, Cilan will be there with Chilli and Cress, but we won't focus on him alone. Perhaps we'll either waste time battling them one a at a time, looking like a crappy author desperately trying to fill the page, or we'll all battle them at once in an awesome, hectic 5v3 battle that is entertaining to read and write.

Anyway, how can I make this story better? Any changes, critiques, anything is appreciated!

Death Final Note: Whatever changes made, we will not include any "adult fun" scenes, or the deaths of any Main Characters. We are okay with going into a story about the darker side of poke'mon, perhaps even turning it into some kind of Survival Horror story, but I think this has also been done before.

EDIT: Yeah, I think we should go through Unova, simply because the encounters with the main characters and Team Plasma could be interesting.

 

[JX Valentine]

It's a good start, and it'd be interesting to see how five different stories (considering you said each of you will be scattered and will probably need to find one another) are handled up until they're finally merged into one storyline.

Your main concern, though, is probably best answered with the question, "Okay, so what is this story about?"

See, the way I see it, you've got a concept so far. You and your friends get sucked into a world and go on adventures. Which is cool, but that doesn't entirely address what the adventure is. Off the top of my head, you could ask yourself the following questions to get a unique angle:

1. How did you get sucked into that world? (Technology? Magic? Who summoned you? How did it work?)

2. Why were you brought into that world? (Do you fulfill a prophecy? If the answer to that question is "yes," that doesn't necessarily mean your story will be riddled with clichés. Did you consciously attempt to enter that world? If so, why?)

3. What kinds of agendas do your characters have? (I'm not going to mention specifics, but I've read fic where gym battles turned into massive cluster****s because the writers were attempting to have every character in a multi-member group battle the same gym leaders. And yes, this has happened multiple times. That doesn't always work unless you're willing to come up with new and different battles each time, rather than have the characters just go at the gym leaders with the same basic battle styles and strategies. Moreover, in a group of five, you're very likely to have somewhat different interests. Maybe someone wants to be a breeder while another wants to be a coordinator. Maybe you all want to be trainers, but one of you wants to raise a single Pokémon, another wants to figure out how EVs/IVs apply to in-game settings, another has an interest in a certain type, another doesn't care about badges, and so forth. The differences in what your characters want to do will establish them as separate beings with separate personalities, and it will give your story plenty of variety.)

4. No, seriously, what is your single goal? (All five of you need to have a reason for wanting to travel together besides "you were friends in the real world." Do you all want to go home? Are you tasked with a single particular quest? If so, what is that quest? Catch 'em all? Collect a mystical MacGuffin that aren't the badges? Defeat Team Badguys? What will drive all five of you through the plot as a single unit so you don't end up spending the entirety of the plot running off and screwing around doing a generic badge quest?)

5. How do you all feel about going home, anyway? (One of the main sources of conflict you could give your trainers is, naturally, how they feel about going home. This could divide your group, cause members to turn on each other, maybe even trigger a Face Heel Turn here or there. In any case, as cliché as it might be, it could be a major factor in your plot eventually.)

In short, it seems like you've got a good start to a plot, but that's pretty much it. The answer to your question, then, is to develop the plot further -- to push it beyond the standard badge quest and the vague "we want to go adventuring." I honestly can't tell you what you should do with your characters because I don't know your friends (or their personae), and more importantly, I don't know you or what would float your boat in terms of interests. All I can say is in order to make this story work, you'll need a solid story that will drive all five of you at the same time.

From there, it's just a matter of choosing the right POV to tell the story and transitioning from one character to another smoothly. Pretty simple stuff. I would actually also recommend against extremely long chapters until you reunite each friend because I would imagine that you'd like to spend sufficient amount of time focusing on each one. Obscenely long chapters mean you'll constantly be conscious of space due to Serebii's character restrictions and the attention spans of your readers, which in turn will hinder your ability to bring out the traits and stories of each individual character (because you're paying less attention to that task), if that makes sense.

 

[M-Dub]

First, a warning note about characters: simply adding flaws and bad character traits does not preclude Mary Sues. A Mary Sue can still have flaws, and a non-Sue character can have none whatsoever. The difference with Mary Sues is that whatever flaws they have don't ever impede their progress and success. Secondly, people don't have a list of 'good qualities' and 'bad qualities'. You can't look at their character traits and divide them into two boxes. Something that might be a flaw in one situation could turn out to be useful in another. Even across time, people's ideas of what's good change. You're alcoholic, violent and not quite all there upstairs? Today you're shunned and looked down on, but in Norse Scandinavia you'd be partying happily with all the other Vikings. So perhaps a better way to avoid Mary Sues would be to make sure that any perceived flaws actually genuinely get in their way and impede their success, even if they help them elsewhere. That might be what you were planning anyway, but your wording in the fourth paragraph set off a few alarm bells in my head.

Okay, that aside . . . ways to make a journey fic not boring. For starters, I commend you for recognising that difficulty and seeking a way to remedy it. Anyway, let's see. You could start by going backwards through a region. That's always fun. Alternatively, have your five characters already established as semi-competent Trainers before the story starts, meaning that you don't have to worry about boring Tackle-fests at the start of the story and through the first Gym. If they already have some partially- or fully-evolved Pokemon, you can beef the Gym Leaders up as well. If your character has a Grovyle and a Linoone, Chili can have a Simisear and a Herdier. Basically, you're not bound by game canon nearly as much as you might think.

I'm writing an Unova journey fic right now myself, and my way of avoiding that boring rut of predictability is to have a character whose interests simply run counter to what the game canon wants. He was too damn lazy to go on a Pokemon journey when he was ten, so he's sixteen and skipping school every day when his mom kicks him out to start his journey. When his bubbly, peppy travelling companion tries to point out the Team Plasma demonstration in Accumula as they pass, he brushes them off as 'kooks' and that's the end of the Plasma storyline for now. He'll bump into them again later, but in a different manner.

My point, basically, is that you don't have to follow the games. It's in fact advisable if you don't, though it can work if you do. You don't even have to get involved in the Plasma storyline at all, if you want. Leave that to someone else. You don't really need a legendary plot to make your story interesting. Sometimes I just don't want to read about Zekrom and Reshiram any more.

That aside, what makes or breaks a journey fic is ultimately the characters, because those characters will shape the world around them and make the story interesting of their own volition. They have to be real. They have to be distinct entities with genuine interpersonal relations that actually vary. They can't just all end up as friends and leave it at that. Sure, they might all be buddies. But Rob might be best friends with Charles, while being somewhat distrustful of Lucy. But he puts up with her because she's BFFs with Ramona, who he has a crush on. Lucy thinks Bob's boring, and so she tries to keep him away from Ramona, etc etc. I could go on, but it's not a very good example. The point is that even within friendship/companionship there are many different levels of relationship you can have, and it's these which journey fic authors tend to forget.

Journey fics tend to be heavily plot-driven, which often means the characters are there for no reason more pressing than because there wouldn't be a story without them. Journey fic OTs tend to be bland and boring characters that don't really interact with each other. They'll travel with each other, chat about this and that, and generally get on, but that's kinda boring. I'm not saying you have to have great big internal feuds and stuff, because straight-up friendship can work. But it needs to be real, and it needs to be genuine, and Thomas needs to tautologically repeat himself.

Um, in that case, I think I've said most of what I can for now. Best of luck!

EDIT: *whines pitifully* Jaaaaaax!

 

[The Great Butler]

My best advice: listen to what the two above me have to say. These guys know their stuff.

I give you a lot of credit. Journeyfic can be one of the hardest genres, I think, and the fact that you have already acknowledged the inherent challenges of writing one is a big encouraging sign. You've got a good approach going in, which any author can tell you is an important first step to creating a successful work.

As far as journeyfic goes, a piece of advice I'd give you is to challenge expectations. Anyone can get a basic 'Professor gives starter, you get badges, be the best like no one ever was' story by simply plugging in a Pokémon game cartridge. I'm not saying such stories are bad - they are not - but they are typical fare, and readers tend to like more inventive, unique things. You want to set yourself out in the field instead of just blending in, like, you want to be known as the author of The Five-Man Band's Unova Odyssey instead of Journeyfic #443267.

In short: develop your own signature. Do something that makes your work stand out as your own.

 

[Hywel]

Great!

Thanks for the great advice and support, it's going to help me a lot!

When reading your posts, I noticed that you occasionally used words such as "Face Heel Turn" and "Five Man Band". I'm glad you like TV Tropes, I do too. It's useful for checking my stories for cliché's.

I was thinking, as a twist ending and Sequel Hook, the five of them discover that once they solve the plot, they get sent from one fic to the next, like a fanfic version of Quantum Leap. Perhaps they discover their old life was even a fake, calling it a "High school AU" once they realise it's fake.

 

[Hywel]

I'm not sure if I'm allowed to do this, but...

(Bump)

 

[JX Valentine]

I'm not sure if I'm allowed to do this, but...

(Bump)

To be honest, I'm not quite sure what else we could tell you to help you out with the main subject. It's cool that you're getting something out of it, definitely, but probably because you're totally willing to try what we've offered in terms of advice, I guess anything else we could probably tell you would be considered repetitive and pretty much something you've already got down.

So I guess from here, it's probably better to head to the main forum and give your story a shot or hit up the fic ideas thread to run actual plot ideas by the masses. The former lets us check out your main story so you can figure out whether or not it'll float long enough to warrant a sequel; the latter lets you figure out whether or not your ideas for potential sequels would be awesome.

Speaking of awesome, high five for Quantum Leap. And probably slight Matrix vibes with the part about figuring out their actual life was a lie. But I do have to say it might be a good idea to run that by your friends since a lot of this story is dependent on their input. If you've already done that, then that's cool. I've seen a few stories that have one or more characters hop from one world to another (one particular one was recced on TV Tropes and centers on one character who would wake up in various anime worlds in a new anime girl's bed... but I can't remember the name of it, despite the fact that I can safely say it was hilarious and all shades of awesome), and it has the potential to be an entertaining concept. But I'd really suggest working on the concept you had in mind at the beginning of the thread first in order to see whether or not you'd like to work with these characters on a truly long-term basis or if you'd prefer to just keep it to one story. Unless you want to combine both ideas into one big fic (one that starts off in the Pokémon world but travels to different worlds as the fic progresses). It's up to you, but that's a thought you could consider.

Also, just slightly disappointed that the full concept of Quantum Leap (characters ending up in the bodies of other characters to right wrongs and whatnot) isn't being used, but I'm weird like that. Unless that is what you were going for. At which point... rock on.

 

[Hywel]

It is sort of what I'm going for.

They do go into different worlds, and often end up with different powers or abilities from that world, but they still recognise each other, because of how well they know each other, and they still vaguely resemble themselves.

 

[Superpower Emboar]

I'm currently writing a fic with five characters aswell, with what i think to be an original twist. I think something like this is doable and just listen to JX, she knows her stuff (Still working on that review for you btw, just slowly reading and taking some notes, you have alot of chapters stacked up before i came along XD) < wow off-topic much. . . anyway What i started with was the personalities, I created and refined the character biographies for a week before i actually started writing. SInce i knew where i was going to go it was very simple for me to insert their character traits into the storyline. Through this i could gauge their reaction to the first big thing that occured much better.

 

[Glover]

I read this title more specifically looking for advise on avoiding journey fic monotony than the fic as a whole. Personally, I'm not all that fond of dimensional pull stories like this, but that's just me, so I'll skip to the other part.

First thing I will say, don't be so quick to write off the anime. The biggest flaw I see in Journey fics, is they all end up going the same places and doing the same things. One thing the anime gets to do, is like a fic, they can fluff out sections between main plots, such as gyms. Don;t be afraid to call on little concepts like the towns Ash & Co. stopped in that last all of 12 minutes of a 22minute cartoon. If you need to, go and study the way the Chrinicles miniseries ran. That right there is a televised Journeyu fic that doesn't include Ash, the main concepts of the game their trying to sell, or the otherwise boring stuff we've all seen and done a million and a half times. Granted, trainers stomping around Hoenn will all end up facing the same gym leaders, but that's all you really need to repeat. Maybe, your NPC cast includes the battleable trainers from the routes, who obviously aren't going to always be in the same place, and perhaps, if your friends insist on having the crime teams, you are either before or after the "Crime Team of the Region" events, and ae either dealingf with the aftermath, such as Hoenn's weather pattern going completely wonky for a few years, or perhaps in Sinnoh your pre-D/P/Pt, and Cyrus is nothing more than a mafiaman like Capone or maybe a gy like Dillinger who's still building contacts.


EDIT: I missed your Post Script about Unova, and if you really want to do the present thing, then go for it, but I can telly uo, there's a lot of Unova story out there cause Unova is the "new thing", so I'd encourage you to go before or after the setting of B/W/G?
Or, you could forget about them entirely, and focus soley on the traienr side of it.

While Valentien is absolutely right about a unifying motive, I would encourage you to stay away from the Pokedex catalyst. It's been done, it isn't unique. In my little world, which was touched upon in the anime with May and less so with Dawn, and then in the games with Bianca, becoming a trainer is simply the next stage in a human growth cycle. It ships them out to get real-world experience (their real world, not ours) and encourage them to find out what their own dreams and aspirations are. What we think of as trade or technical school wouldfollow this, if it applies to what they decude they want to do. Maybe being pulled into a "children's game" is their lesson on the hard ways in life, and that may tailro into what was being said about who wants to go back (growing up) or stay in the game (staying a child) But hey,d on't let me write it for you, just a few ideas.

Next thing to keep in mind, humans from the real world are going to have zero experience with Pokemon. Sure, they may have played the games, But just because you've watched Lion King doesn't mean your an expert on African wildlife can just walk out into the Serenghetti and not get eaten/trampled/eaten/runover/eaten/etc.

One mroe bit of advice, and sometghing I'm repeating from Chaosblizzard who writes Chronicles of Unova, you have 5 trainers, if each of them carries 6 pokemon over the course of the story, you have right away thirty characters to keep track of, before you even consider bad guys, other trainers, and gym leaders. It'll look wonky, but I would envcourage you to strongly consider holding everybody's teams down to a low number, like three a piece.

Ooh! And five different people who all want to catch that Clefairy!... that, was right thre until all the arguing gave it the chance to run away...

 

[Hywel]

Thanks for the advice, everyone!

 

[Hywel]

OK, we've talked about it, and we are going to be reducing the number. We aren't sure how many we'll end up with, so could someone tell me the pros, cons, and hidden meanings behind each possible number?

Also, I've read the TV tropes page on this subject, but it didn't help much. I think I'd need a number list-thing specifically for pokemon fics.

 

[JX Valentine]

There's not really any specific concepts involving numbers that you should be aware of in Pokémon fic, to be honest. The only ones you'll probably want to be wary of are people-related, and as such, they're these:

Three people: While groups of three in general aren't bad, groups of three of varying genders tends to be risky. Namely, if you go for two boys and one girl, you risk coming off as if you're trying to take cues from the anime, especially if the girl is the love interest of one of the boys. Doubly if you've made the three characters anything like Ash, Misty, and Brock. That would be a gutsy but naive character to fulfill the role of Ash, a hot-headed tsundere to fulfill the role of Misty, and a mature and/or womanizing butt monkey/big brother figure that would fulfill the role of Brock/Tracey. Note that you don't have to consciously mimic the trio to get people to draw parallels. It's also possible to have a reverse trio, wherein the Ash role is fulfilled by a girl, while the Misty role is fulfilled by a boy. Point is, you'll need to be particularly careful around three-person configurations.

Two people: If your group consists of one boy and one girl, readers will automatically think that they'll be shipped at some point or another. (Even if they start out hating each other.) This tends to make your story seem intensely predictable unless you plan on subverting it later.

Besides that, basically, every other configuration tends to be A-OK.

With regards to how many Pokémon each person has, it's really just up to your comfort level. How many Pokémon do you want to write?

I have to say that Chaos's advice is actually more or less a given. To expand upon it, an essay I wrote earlier this year on the subject. (Granted, it was about changing the six-Pokémon limit for one character, but it still applies to having a huge cast of them in general.)

To be specific, basically, it depends on how detailed in terms of personality you want to get -- both in terms of the trainer and the Pokémon. After all, not only would you need to give each Pokémon some semblance of personality traits (even if you see them as animals and have them behave as such), but you'll also need to show the trainer spending time with them and training them. That's really the other risk factor in having a lot of human characters at one time: you need to divide your story and attention evenly among all of them if you don't want to make your fic obviously be about a single character. (Doing the latter has the unfortunate risk of making whichever character you choose seem Gary Stuish, particularly if that character is a self-insert of you.) So, your fic ends up being not only an even division between every single human character of the traveling group but also an even division between the number of Pokémon they each have.

Now, there's ways to do it so that you can have a large cast count but a decent amount of Pokémon in each. I've seen fics where there might be five humans, but the Pokémon count is kept down to two or three for the majority of the fic. Some even just stick to one. That way, everyone gets a decent level of development.

Of course, it also depends on the humans as well, and it's entirely possible to have human characters in a large group carry the maximum amount of Pokémon they can. Think of it like taking care of puppies. Maybe you might be able to handle one, but can you handle six? Some of your characters might only want a small number of Pokémon because that meets their goals or because they don't really feel up to taking on the responsibility of a full team. For example, one of your characters might only want to raise a single Pokémon that they happen to really like as their close, personal traveling companion. Another one of your characters might choose to raise three because he or she is a flake and realized it's difficult to keep track of more than that. Another character might try for a full six because they're a hardcore trainer who believes they need a full team in order to win tournaments. So there's that as well.

I guess the short of it is there's risks/associations with how many people are in a group, but there aren't really any in terms of how many Pokémon are in it. The latter tends to depend on how comfortable you are with dividing up your attention and what kind of people your characters happen to be.

 

[AmbipomMaster]

I thought I always wanted to do is have (5 people in your story, right?) You each get shipped to the 5 different regions, keep in touch through video-chat, and compete in the Worldwide Battle Cup in a side region (Almia or Fiorre)

 

[JX Valentine]

I thought I always wanted to do is have (5 people in your story, right?) You each get shipped to the 5 different regions, keep in touch through video-chat, and compete in the Worldwide Battle Cup in a side region (Almia or Fiorre)

While it's an interesting idea, it also doesn't really help the author that much. Hywel wants his characters to journey together, and honestly, I'd encourage him to do so because pulling the characters together helps give the plot a meaning. Dividing them and sending them to opposite ends of the planet without giving them a reason to come back together takes away any point to their journey. The question of why they were pulled into that world doesn't exist (because they don't make an effort to address it), they're not working on getting home, and they're not struggling together to accept their new world. If anything, it becomes a generic journey fic set in five different regions with five different self-inserts going on five different journeys because it seemed like a good idea at the time, as opposed to because there's a specific reason why they have to. In other words, it doesn't end up pretty.

 

[Hywel]

Great idea, everyone! I'll stick with 5.

Also, I read your post on the other website. Cool icon, the goldfish looks so adorable!

Each trainer will have around two or three pokemon each, and they all have different personalities.

The character based on me, the smart jerk, will start off with a Treecko, get/con a pawniard from a passing idiot, (The Pawniard scene is actually a lot more detailed than that, but that's basically what happens.) and end up evolving them into a Sceptile and Bisharp.

The other characters will have 2-3 pokemon each as well, they have to choose, and I've told them about considering rarity, personality, and other stuff.

EDIT: Quick question, how do I get the fancy E in poke'mon?

Another edit: Never mind, I just found an online tutorial for it. By the way, how would an Egg be used in my fic?

 

[JX Valentine]

Great idea, everyone! I'll stick with 5.

Fair 'nough there.

Also, I read your post on the other website. Cool icon, the goldfish looks so adorable!

Thanks. A friend did it for me, knowing I adore goldfish.

Each trainer will have around two or three pokemon each, and they all have different personalities.

That's good. Looking forward to seeing what you do for each Pokémon.

The character based on me, the smart jerk, will start off with a Treecko, get/con a pawniard from a passing idiot, (The Pawniard scene is actually a lot more detailed than that, but that's basically what happens.) and end up evolving them into a Sceptile and Bisharp.

Also looking forward to seeing how this is handled. It's interesting to have a character get a Pokémon by openly questionable means. (As in, Sues tend not to address the negative implications if they got their Pokémon in a less-than-legit manner, and every other character tends to be straightly legit about collecting. So, this is something new and different, and I'm sure it'll shed interesting light on your self-insert, especially if his friends find out how he managed to get that Pawniard.)

Another edit: Never mind, I just found an online tutorial for it. By the way, how would an Egg be used in my fic?

Up until it hatches, the egg is a prop, and what it means depends on who's carrying it. A character who's less motherly and sympathetic might only see it as an obstacle between him/herself and a cool new Pokémon; a more kind and caring character might constantly tend to it. There's other possible reactions. It's just that those two are basically the opposite ends of your spectrum without getting into killing off the egg or doing some insanely creepy things with it.

When it hatches, if it's the first hatch, it'll probably be a big deal for the characters, given that they've never seen a Pokémon egg hatch (outside of observing canon as fans). Normally, egg hatches are big deals in canon, moments where characters stop what they're doing and watch. The resulting baby should have its own personality, but it's been established in at least one canon universe (the anime and, if I recall correctly, Special) that hatchlings imprint on the first living thing they see (meaning, they'll believe the first character they see is their mother).

So... pretty much up to you.

 

[Glover]

Cool. One thing I like abouyt this setup, is that each main char has a real-world counterpart. On the one hand, that does skirt the whole "Sue/Stu" thing, but on the other, it means that all characters have a much better shot of maintaining their identities, since you to a degree have more than one sub-author (actor?) backing them up.

Along this same line, if you have pets, feel free to use them for inspiration for your Pokemon. Now, not everuyone hads a rhinoceros, so Aggron and Ryhorn are gonna be harder, but if anyone has a Dog or cat -mon like Lilipup, Poochyena, Growlithe, or Meowth, Glameow, Purrloin etc, then your own dog or cat gives you somethign to wirk from, and in turn, your less domestic Pokemon can build off how you personify (or don't) those.

Overall though, I look forward to this as well.

 

[Hywel]

When the chapter is done, Should I post the fic here, or on Fanfiction.net?

I think I should post it on fanfiction.net, and put a link to it here, would that work?

 

[Dragonfree]

You can't post links to fics on other sites here. If you want to post it on fanfiction.net and here, you'll have to copy and paste it.