How to beat RS in a Minute

[Brown Bomber]

I put together this pile of **** in a minute, and it's actually doing well. Choice Band and Spikes are the two worst things in RS, period.

Salamence (M) @ Choice Band
Trait: Intimidate
EVs: 4 HP / 252 Atk / 252 Spd
Adamant Nature (+Atk, -SAtk)
- Brick Break
- Earthquake
- Hidden Power [Flying]
- Rock Slide

Magneton @ Leftovers
Trait: Magnet Pull
EVs: 64 HP / 184 Spd / 252 SAtk / 8 SDef
Modest Nature (+SAtk, -Atk)
- Hidden Power [Grass]
- Metal Sound
- Thunder Wave
- Thunderbolt

Metagross @ Choice Band
Trait: Clear Body
EVs: 144 HP / 252 Atk / 112 Def
Adamant Nature (+Atk, -SAtk)
- Earthquake
- Explosion
- Meteor Mash
- Sludge Bomb

Snorlax (M) @ Leftovers
Trait: Thick Fat
EVs: 80 HP / 176 Atk / 80 Def / 172 SDef
Careful Nature (+SDef, -SAtk)
- Double-Edge
- Earthquake
- Rest
- Sleep Talk

Swampert (M) @ Leftovers
Trait: Torrent
EVs: 240 HP / 12 Atk / 120 SAtk / 136 SDef
Brave Nature (+Atk, -Spd)
- Earthquake
- Ice Beam
- Roar
- Surf

Heracross (M) @ Choice Band
Trait: Guts
EVs: 4 HP / 252 Atk / 252 Spd
Adamant Nature (+Atk, -SAtk)
- Brick Break
- Focus Punch
- Megahorn
- Rock Slide

 

[Tazzler]

If you aren't using a special move, then I prefer double-edge on mence.

 

[Brown Bomber]

Brick Break > Double-Edge for Bliss and Lax. I love BB on Mence, more than Fire Blast actually.

 

[Delta]

Rock slide > Sludge bomb on gross

 

[Brown Bomber]

Not really... Ludicolo is annoying, SB inflicts more damage to Celebi, and it does decent damage against Zappy and Gyara. Besides, Laxen owns Zappy.

 

[Alphatron]

Dugtrio can kill half of your team, and it's like on every OU team, so be careful.

Give some defense to Swampert (a 260-270 def stat is usually good enough), since that is like the only way you're going to stop a DDMence who will otherwise easily 6-0 you.

Lax needs more hp, like 140 or 204 EVs, and Heracross likes some hp as well, to switch into **** better.

Looks good otherwise.

 

[SealElement]

I put together this pile of **** in a minute, and it's actually doing well. Choice Band and Spikes are the two worst things in RS, period.

Salamence (M) @ Choice Band
Trait: Intimidate
EVs: 4 HP / 252 Atk / 252 Spd
Adamant Nature (+Atk, -SAtk)
- Brick Break
- Earthquake
- Hidden Power [Flying]
- Rock Slide

Looks good.

Magneton @ Leftovers
Trait: Magnet Pull
EVs: 64 HP / 184 Spd / 252 SAtk / 8 SDef
Modest Nature (+SAtk, -Atk)
- Hidden Power [Grass]
- Metal Sound
- Thunder Wave
- Thunderbolt

Looks good. Dugtrio.

Metagross @ Choice Band
Trait: Clear Body
EVs: 144 HP / 252 Atk / 112 Def
Adamant Nature (+Atk, -SAtk)
- Earthquake
- Explosion
- Meteor Mash
- Sludge Bomb

HP [Rock] is always an option. And Explosion Choice band is just evil.

Snorlax (M) @ Leftovers
Trait: Thick Fat
EVs: 80 HP / 176 Atk / 80 Def / 172 SDef
Careful Nature (+SDef, -SAtk)
- Double-Edge
- Earthquake
- Rest
- Sleep Talk

Body Slam and Return are always possible options.

Swampert (M) @ Leftovers
Trait: Torrent
EVs: 240 HP / 12 Atk / 120 SAtk / 136 SDef
Brave Nature (+Atk, -Spd)
- Earthquake
- Ice Beam
- Roar
- Surf

Hydro Pump > Surf on Mixpert.

Heracross (M) @ Choice Band
Trait: Guts
EVs: 4 HP / 252 Atk / 252 Spd
Adamant Nature (+Atk, -SAtk)
- Brick Break
- Focus Punch
- Megahorn
- Rock Slide

Dugtrio kills this with Aerial Ace.

As said above, your team has a Dugtrio weak. Toss in Spikes from Dugtrio's buddy Skarm and you're screwed if you don't have Salamence out.
You need a good special sweeper. And Magneton/Swampert do not count. I mean a GOOD Special sweeper (i.e. Starmie, Porygon2, Houndoom).