Human Flaws

[Manulya]

Ok I've had this fic in my mind for a while and I only hope it lives up to the expectations I set up for it. This chapter conatins some gore, and most likely the future ones will too so for anyone who dislikes even the littlest gore avoid this fic.


Chapter Guide
Completed and Posted
Prologue
Chapter One- Don't Be Late!!
Chapter Two-Together Only To Seperate
Chapter Three-Battle At The Tower
Chapter Four-Life on A Platter

Upcoming Chapters (Names Subject To Change.)
Chapter Five- Commotion At Work. Enter The Orthodox!


Prologue

A tall, middle-aged man was sitting at a desk overrun with piles of paper in the middle of the night. His name was Peter Mianin and he was more stressed than he had ever been before in his life. He was frantically scribbling down notes, thinking he may have finally found the answer his team of researchers had been looking for over a decade. His department was in danger of being shut down, if they didn’t give good enough results by the next day, not only would the department be shut down, but severely punished.

Peter massaged his temples as he looked around a stack of papers at the clock on the desk besides him. 2:43 AM. He had forgotten to call his wife again and he wasn’t eager for having to see her the following day. He didn’t need anymore stress, the man was already on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

The man crossed out half a page of notes with frustration. Peter was the only one of his team who hadn’t given up on the project, the only one who hadn’t given up hope. In addition to getting yelled at for not calling her, Peter would have to explain the loss of his job to her as well.

Peter looked at a picture of a his wife Marilyn and two sons and sighed. It had been over a month since he had talked to his eldest son, Raymond, over two years since he had seen him. Raymond as a tall thin boy, with black hair inherited from Peter and the fromae from his mother. Just over two years ago, Raymond, had decided to go his own journey over in the Hoenn region, despite his father wanting him to follow in his own footsteps. Raymond had such a great mind, Peter wished that his son had put it to good use.

The father than looked over at his younger son, Sean. Sean was only twelve years old, five years younger than his brother Raymond, and so full of life. Sean looked a lot like his father and was constantly refeered to as his "little clone." Peter believed that his son had just as much potential as his older brother, but just had no ambition to reach it. Sean underestimated himself greatly, and actually turned down an offer to start his own journey. Everything had come so easy for Peter and his wife while they were raising Raymond, but with Sean, they barely could even hold a conversation with their son before he would walk off.

Getting back to his work, Peter looked at the diagram of a peculiar DNA helix. Most DNA strands in any creature were similar, but this one was far different from any other one in the known world. Peter had often wondered where his superiors had acquired the strand, but was smart enough not to ask. Those who asked questions in this day and time put themselves and their family at risk.

He and his team were supposed to find out what the strand was from and how they could replicate its effects, but to both goals, his team came to no conclusions. Peteher believed it would have been a great help about where they had obtained the DNA sample, but whenever he even suggested asking his supervisors about where it was from, the rest of his team would shoot him dirty looks. All the knowledge he had ever learned as a scientist Peter put into these goals, but to his dismay, seemed to be far from enough.

Peter picked up the picture of his family once again, as he heard the door open behind him. Peter spun around in his chair to see a plump, elderly man with a great white beard standing in the doorway.

“Hello, sir.” Peter addressed his supervisor carefully; he had rarely seen the supervisor and was afraid that the man had come to bring the fatal blow to his team. “May I help you, sir?”

“I have come to check the progress being made on the project, of course,” the old man said in a almost mechanical sort of way. Peter didn’t think much of it, in the few times he had seen the man, he had often been quiet. The scientist gathered up all but his most recent notes and formed them into a pile before handing them carefully to his supervisor, who had come to stand cloer to the man.

The older man quickly scanned through all the papers, before throwing them all on the ground. Peter quickly fell to his knees and scurried to pick up each paper, before standing up once again to face his boss.

“Is that all you have?” the boss asked, this time with a more annoyed tone this time. Peter debated what to say to this before finally coming up with an answer.

“Yes, sir,” Peter said nervously, stepping in front of his desk to block the notes he had not given to the supervisor.

“You lie. Now give me the other papers,” His supervisor demanded now his voice beginning to rise.

“I...I ... I’m sorry sir. That’s all I have,” Peter said as he frantically forced the notes into his family’s picture frame carefully so he wouldn’t be noticed.

“DON’T LIE!” The man roared with a fury Peter had never heard before in his life.

“Sir it’s the tru-,” Peter was cut off when the other man’s arm reached and grabbed Peter by the throat, lifting him off the ground.

“You think I can be fooled! I am not like you simpleminded humans! I do not fall for your theatrics! Your eyes tell the truth when your mouth doesn't. Now give me all of it now or you’ll die.” The man’s cold, rubbery gripped tightened around Peter’s throat, and Peter began to gasp for air.

“What....What are.....you?” Peter asked in the few breathes he was allowed. By now, Peter had realized he was not dealing with a human, or at least not a normal one.

“Fool. You should have answered me while you had the chance.” the creatures right hand continued its grip on Peter while the other hand melted together to form a sharp, rubbery blade.“Flaws of the humans: you never take the right choice.”

The fake human’s arm retracted back before thrusting itself into and through the man’s chest. Peter was thrown onto the floor, clutching his chest. He saw a puddle of blood, his blood, on the ground beside him. There already was so much there, Peter knew he couldn’t last much longer. Peter looked up at the creature, its blade of an arm soaked in blood. Its skin began to melt and bubble, until it faded away revealing the true identity of his attacker. The creature stared at the pathetic man lying on the ground in a pool of his own blood. Looking at the man directly in the eyes one last time, the creature glowed before evaporating into midair.

The man fell over, crying out in pain. He saw the picture of his family, face up beside him. Knowing this would be the last time he would ever see his family, Peter grabbed the picture, smearing blood along the edges.

“Marilyn.....Raymond......Sean...I love you all,” Peter gasped. The last images of Peter Mianin’s life was of his family all smiling at him, and leading him into the world of death....

 

[DeoxysTrainer]

..........it got my attention

 

[Saffire Persian]

Hmm.. not bad, not bad at all. I liked it, and I think you show a lot of promise as a writer. A few things I'd like to impart, if you will.

“Yes, sir,” Peter lied, stepping in front of his desk to block the notes he had not given to the supervisor.

For some reason, the use of 'lied' here bugged me, since right after Mewtwo (I assume) tells him he is lying.. so the 'he lied' seems uneeded, and I think you could up the tension by not using it. Perhaps "Peter said nervously" that way, one could kind of allude he was lying, and then Mewtwo or whoever he is, picks up on it.

DON’T LIE!!!!!” The man roared with a fury Peter had never heard before in his life.

You tend to do this a few times - the !!! that is. Don't use multiple exclamation points if you can.. it usually doens't look that good in narrative, and also, exclamations use their effect that way.

You also have some paragraph issued in a spot or two that make it look choppy, though that's a very technical matter easily rectified.

Now, the rest of it was nicely done, the grammar/spelling is very good, couldn't find any errors (though I suck at proofreading) and the ending reminded me of Full Metal Alchemist xD.. Otherwise, it was a nice read.

 

[Manulya]

Thanks for the reviews and Ill take into account all your suggestions. The chapters will be short at first, until I can get into the main plotline and out of all the Introduction stuff then Ill go more indepth. which will hopefully be in the next oncoming chapters.
Chapter 1- Don't Be Late!

3 months later

A short, wiry boy was sitting in front of a tombstone at the Lavender Town Memorial late one evening. The boy’s name was Sean Mianin and he was spending the little free time he had with his father.

Peter Mianin
Beloved Husband
Wonderful Father
Missed Forever

Sean read the inscriptions on the tombstone again and again, each time trying to remember something about his father. There weren’t many things for Sean to remember about him; as long as he could remember, his father was almost always working and never had much time for Sean.

After his father's murder, the police had done an investigation but no suspects were ever found. They had never seen an injury quite like tha before, and after only a month, placed Peter Mianin's file into a cabinet marked 'Unsolved.' Sean didn't know who could have murdered his father, he thought it may have had something to do woth his father's work, but aside from knowing his father was a scientist for the government, Deab knew nothing about his father's death.

“Damn!” Sean yelled out as he looked at his watch. He couldn’t believe the time had gone by so fast. Scrambling to his feet, the boy ran out of the cemetery and hopped onto his bike that was outside the gate. He pedaled as fast as he could towards the market, looking down at his watch so many times he almost got hit by a passing car on one occasion.

Jumping off his bike before it stopped, Sean ran into the market and before the tire stopped spinning, was running out with a bag of groceries. He had planned to make dinner before his mother got home from her new job as a celebration. Today was her first time working since his father died and Sean wanted to make the best of the only joyous occasion that had happened in the past few months.

Sean began pedaling again, finding it hard to steer now that he had to balance a bag on the front of his bike. After a few minutes of furious pedaling, Sean finally came into the sight of his house. He was less than a minute away when a figure hopped in front of his path.

The boy swerved out of the way, but the sand cause the bike to lose balance. Sean fell on to the ground hard, rolling a few feet before being stopped by the sidewalk. Littering the ground around him were various types of vegetables and meats ruined by the fall. Furious, Sean wiped the blood off his lip and looked up to see what had caused him to fall.

It was a figure heavily dressed in scarves and jackets, despite the warmness of the summer, with a hat covering his eyes. Around his arm was a tote bag, that was tattered and looked as if it had been through a lot. Sean climbed to his feet and walked over to confront the man.

“You idiot! What the hell were you doing?! You could have gotten killed. I almost got killed.” Sean shouted at the man who made no response to any of the boy’s words. “ Look what you did. You ruined all that food. You know what I was going to do with it? Make my mom a halfway decent meal after her first day of work, but no; you had to go and throw yourself in the way and screw up the entire evening. Don’t think that you’re not going to be paying for all the food and to get my bike fixed, because you are!”

The man continued to just stand there, taking no effect whatsoever by Sean’s words, which made Sean even more furious. The boy reached for his belt and tore off a Pokeball. He threw it out and in a flash, a Cubone appeared in it’s place.

Sean wasn’t a great battler, but he had learned the basics from his brother even though he though had frequently objected to battling, considering it just for Neanderthals with half a brain cell. Even with the appearance of the Cubone in front of him, the man stood there motionless. But just because the man was going to bring out his own Pokemon far from meant Sean wasn’t going to attack.

“Cubone, tackle,” Sean ordered and the lonely Pokemon charged at the man. Just as the Cubone was about to strike, the man adeptly dodged the attack and momentum caused Cubone to continue to keep flying forward and slam into the ground.

The mishap didn’t cause the little Pokemon to stop, he kept trying to attack the man, who, each and every time managed to evade the attack.. Sean decided it was time for a change of strategy.

“Cubone, Bonemerang,” Sean shouted out, and his Pokemon hurled his boneclub at the man who managed to evade it. The boy however, snickered as he saw the bone returning back to it’s owner. The boneclub was too close to be dodged and Sean was certain victory was his.

When the man was within a foot of the club, a small green blur hopped out of the man’s tote bag and stopped the club before it hit the man. The blur revealed itself to be a small green gecko and in it’s hand was Cubone’s club.

Sean was amazed at the speed to the tiny Pokemon and even more so at the prediction and calmness of it’s trainer. If one thing had gone wrong, the man could have been seriously hurt. The boy glanced at his Cubone and wondered whether he could trust it to that extent.

“Treecko, finish this” the man said. Sean was astonished to hear the man finally speak, but couldn’t help he had heard the person before. Sean had to place his nostalgia aside as the Treecko began it’s onslaught.

Treecko rushed forward at an amazing speed, and hit Cubone with his own club. With nothing to go on the offensive with, Sean had to go for a defensive approach. Since all of Cubone’s body but it’s head is relatively weak, Sean made his use defense curl and make it’s head the primary target.

Sean thought his plan was working, as the Treecko continued attacking the skull helmet. The boy was going to wait until it was completely tired out then have Cubone attack. Right after he had those thoughts, something hard hit his eye.

Sean rubbed his eye and got the thing out. It was a small white chip, hard and jagged. He flicked it away and continued to watch the battle. A he watched he got hit by another and another until he realized where they were coming from. With every hit the Treeko did to the skull, a chip of the bone was flaked away. The Treecko wasn't just hitting at random, it was focusing on one spot and slowly working away on it.

“Cubone, headbutt!” Sean shouted out, for it was his last resort. The little creature hopped up and ran forward, striking the little gecko off guard. The attack slammed the grass Pokemon to the ground, but it was able to still get to his feet despite the damage that had been given to it.

“Mega Drain,” the man ordered, as if nothing at all had happened. The Treecko let loose a green beam from its mouth, and began sucking energy from Cubone. Cubone had already taken a lot of damage from the battle, and the super effective attack was too much for it. The ground Pokemon slumped to the ground in defeat before Sean recalled it.

“Who are you?” Sean asked, looking up from his fainted Pokemon that was now in it’s Pokeball. He had never lost to someone who put in so little effort, yet easily took him down. The man looked bck at Sean, with his Treecko grinning on his shoulder.

“Well I didn't know it was posssible, but it looks like you've gotten even worse then the last time I saw you,” the man said taking off his hat and scarf, allowing Sean to see his face for the first time.

“Ray!” Sean cried out, as he saw his brother's face for the first time in two years....

;104;

 

[Manulya]

Ok no more reviews so I stayed to the same writing style. I finally got to the chapter Ive been wanting to so here it is. Enjoy and relax

Chapter 2-Together Only To Separate

“Ray!” Sean cried out, as he saw his brother’s face for the first time in two years. He ran forward to hug his brother, before backing off. His brother was practically a stranger to him and it would have been awkward.

“It’s been a while, hasn’t it?”Ray said with his signature foolish grin. He reached forward and forced his brother into a hug despite the situation. Now embarrassed, Sean pushed his brother away, puncing him in the arm.

“You could have came more often, you know,” Sean said. “Never mind often even just once would have been good!”

“I know, I know. I’m sorry,”Ray apologized to his younger brother.

“Sorry?! You didn’t even come to Dad’s funeral!” Sean’s voice rose as he became angrier. “Do you have the tiniest idea how depressed Mom was when you didn’t even show? You shouldn't even be saying sorry to me.”

“There were things I had to do,”Ray defended himself, now with a serious tone of voice.

“Nothing should have kept you away. Nothing!” Sean yelled at his older brother. “There’s certain things that have to be done, no matter what stands in the way.”

“Sean, you don’t understand. If you knew why I didn’t show up, you’d know I had to,” Ray said to his brother.

“Then tell me!” Sean shouted. “Tell me what was more important than our own father’s funeral.”

“I- I can’t.” Ray said. “Even if I could tell you, I wouldn’t. You don’t know the importance of what I have been doing the last year. If you did, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself.”

Knowing that he couldn’t get any answers from his brother, Sean was forced to accept the little information his brother had to give. For the first time, Sean looked at his brother completely.

His brother was no longer appeared to be the youthful energetic person he had seen leave the town a few years ago. Ray looked old and tattered, like the tote bag around his, his eyes seeming more like a ghouls than a living person’s. Though Sean couldn’t be sure, he thought he saw grey among the black hair on the seventeen year old’s head..

“What are you looking at?” Ray asked after a few minutes of awkward silence.

“Nothing it’s just that....”Sean thought of the best way to say it. “You look different. I don’t know, you just look so old.”

“Really?” Ray asked, scratching his head. “I suppose that’s what happens when you’re on the road for over two years.”

“Let’s go home now. I’m already late and you already spoiled the plans I had for dinner.” Sean said, and picked up the his mangled bike and began walking it in the direction of his home.

“Sorry, about that. I only meant to stop you, not make you go flying off your bike.” Ray said, as he walked besides his brother. “Shouldn’t you go and get Cubone healed? It got pretty hurt in the battle, I didn’t know that Treeko would thrash him that badly.”

“I’ll have to tomorrow. I’m already running late thanks to you. And it’s not hurt too badly, it’ll be able to last until tomorrow,” Sean said to his brother, who still had an apologetic look on his face. “About that thing, Treecko you call it, where’s it from? I’ve never seen something like that before.”

“It’s not natural to here, I got it from a professor when I made it to Hoenn. It’s one of the three starters they have there and the man was happy to give it to me.” Ray explained. “You wouldn’t ever be able to guess how many species of Pokemon there are out there, I’ve seen so many yet barely even a fraction of them.”

Sean nodded in agreement. He had known there were many types out there, every other day there a new discovery or suspicion on the news of new breeds. Only leaving Lavender Town once in his life to go to his father's office to gather his belongings after his death, Sean hadn’t seen many types of Pokemon, but he still knew that they existed. He wasn’t one of the people who had wanted to them all, he was content with the simple life he led in town.

The two brothers arrived at their house. Throwing the bike down onto the unmowed grass, Sean looked around to see whether his mother was home yet. Sure enough, her car was in the driveway and Sean let out a sigh.

Since her husband’s death, Marilyn Mianin had stopped doing the household chores until recently. Sean had tried his best to make up for the absence of work, but the house remained in shambles. The ground was overgrown with weeds, and hhe only other vegetation was dying. The paint was beginning to flake off the house and the pathway was littered with garbage.

“Sean, was happened to you?” Marilyn asked as she saw her youngest son come through the door coated in gravel and sand. Her eyes then traveled to the figure beside him and let out a gasp of surprise as she saw who it was.

“Raymond, you’re home! Come here and giver your mother a hug.” Doing what his mother told him, Ray went and hugged his mother. When she let go of him after a long while, she slapped him across the face with such force that Sean winced. “That’s what you get for never coming to visit. Just because you’re a hot shot trainer now doesn’t mean that you don’t have enough time for your mother.”

Marilyn was a short woman, thin like her both of her sons, but very pale from the months she spent weeping in the darkness of her room. She was wearing dress attire from her job at Old Man Fuji’s place as a secretary for the man.

Marilyn forced Ray into the kitchen to sit down, leaving Sean in the doorway. Sean was jealous at first, but that feeling was soon pushed away by the joy his mother was happy.

The younger brother walked in the kitchen to find his mother clasping Ray’s hands asking what he had been doing lately. Ray shrugged off the question by commenting on whether it was the scent of her delicious cooking he smelled.

Remembering the chicken that was in the oven, the mother grabbed her mitts and took the chicken out, placing it on the table. Marilyn asked her son whether he would be staying the night and when he replied yes, she clapped her hands together like a giddy little schoolgirl and took out the fine china, placing a plate at her seat and Ray’s.

Though a little annoyed that he was being ignored, Sean knew that his mother was excited about seeing her son; she had not seen him as long as Sean had. The boy grabbed a plate and began to serve himself some chicken.

The dinner was peaceful but awkward, the last time Ray had sat at the table all four seats had been filled. Nevertheless, the dinner was nice, Sean and his mother listened eagerly to Ray as he told of the various Pokemon he met and people he saw, though never going into the specifics.

After dinner, Ray showed off his team of Pokemon in the living room. He had Pokemon from all the three regions he had traveled to. The his leader of the team was a Steelix, Ray’s first Pokemon fully evolved. Sean remembered when his brother had came home at eleven years old holding the Pokeball of an Onix that was causing trouble in the mountains for the merchants. His parents beamed as they found out their son had solved the problem and even caught the Pokemon without one of his own. At the same time, a full five years younger than his brother, Sean had managed to catch his Cubone, but his parents had taken little notice of it.

The remainder of his team were of types he had never seen before. There was a large brown bear with a gold circle on its chest, a large bird with wings of steel, a blue dragon with cotton wings, a red tortoise with smoke pouring from it’s back and last of all Treecko. He learned from his brother that they Pokemon on his team were called Ursaring, Skarmory, Altaria, and Torkoal. Sean was astonished to learn that Treecko was the weakest on his team, being the only one not fully evolved. He fumed at the idea his brother was toying with him the entire time when he could have easily beaten him at any time.

When Ray let out a yawn, the boys’ mother decided it was time for bed. She set Ray up in Sean’s room, letting Ray take the bed and Sean the floor. The twelve year old protested at first but when his mother went on about how his brother didn’t get a bed for over two years and he should allow him at least one comfortable night.

“Are you going to stay?” Sean asked, staring up at the ceiling. “Because today was the first time she was happy since he died and if you go off again she’ll just get even more depressed. You don’t understand what it has been like the last few months.”

Ray was silent for a second before replying, “I wish I could stay, I really do. But I can’t Sean as much as it hurts me to say. I’ll be staying here a few more days the I have to take off again.”

“Will you at least tell me why?” Sean pleaded. “You owe me that much. I won’t tell anyone, I promise, not even Mom.”

“I don’t think I should.”Ray craned his head to look at Sean. “But I will against my better judgement. You have to keep it between us, noone else.”

“I will,” Sean said sitting up anxiously. “Now tell me!”

“Ok fine,” Ray said stretching his arms out. “To start off with, the world is falling apart, Sean you have to nderstand that. The everything is going corrupt."

Sean nodded to show he was listening and Raymond went on. "I was venturing from place to place, battling and almost always winning. I continued to go stronger until I asked myself, what's the point? All we do is battle to get stronger, but what is he strength for? Just over a yearago I was asked to battle by a strange man. As usual, I agreed and the battle begun. In less than a minute, the man had beaten me all with one Pokemon. The man then introduced himself and said I showed potential like he had never seen such potential before. The man requested that I become his apprentice and I happily obliged. We travelled fro region to region, learning more and more until he said I was strong enough. When I asked what for, he said-"

Ray was interrupted by a large crash from downstairs. Alert, he sat up and reached for his bag pulling the strap over his shoulder.

“What was that?” Sean paused and heard his mother’s voice yelling and then being responded to by some lower voices.

Ray was already at the door. “Stay here.” He said to his brother and Sean was about to object when he heard his mother scream.

“No. Let me go. I can help,” Sean said defiantly.

“No you can’t. You don’t know who’s down there and the you’d get in the way with your injured Cubone.” Ray said to Sean, who was now standing up. Another scream from down stairs and Ray decided he had no more time for this foolishness. He turned around and slammed his fist into the side of his younger brother’s head, knocking him unconscious. Before running out the door, Ray took the Pokeball off Sean’s desk and released the Cubone, saying “Take care of him.”

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+


Sean woke up to something prodding his back. He looked up and saw his Cubone with a face of even more saddness then usual. Pain suddenly seared up in his head and the by grabbed his head for a few moments before the pain wen down. Sean remembered what had happened before his brother knocked him out.

He rushed out of the room and carefully listened for any noises. He heard nothing and with a look from Cubone of nerviousness, decided it was save to go on. Still cautiously, Sean walked down the stairs and turned the corner into the living room.

Sean let out a cry as the livingroom came into sight. Cubone stayed beside it’s trainer, not knowing what to do but give him a sympathetic glance. The room was coated in blood and the couch and chair were overturned. The walls were black from burns and underneath one of the couches, he saw the lifeless body of Sean’s Torkoal. Sean followed a trail of blood into the kitchen.

“No.....” Sean burst into tears and fell to the ground, pummeling it with his fists as he saw the lifeless bodies of his mother and Ray, along with all of Ray’s Pokemon. This room was in worse condition then the last, it seemed as if the main battle had been fought here. The door was in splinters and blood, the blood of the people he cared for more than anyone else, smeared the walls.

Sean looked at his hands and saw them coated in blood. He ran to the sink and kept scrubbing the blood off until he had lost a layer of skin. Once he had regained some composure, Sean turned to inspect the bodies in the off chance one of the might be alive.

The boy found his family to be worse than dead, but mutilated with their limbs tied behind them. There were slashes running across them and there clothes were torn. It was clear they had been tortured first before death. As the boy continued to weep, he heard a sound beside him and turned with Cubone ready to attack.

To their surprise, it was only the Treecko. It was badly injured and freely bleeding but still conscious. In it’s tail was a machine of some sort, but Sean took no notice of it and picked the little gecko up, it being all that was left of his brother. Sean, Treecko, and Cubone sat in the room crying until police rushed through the door and guided them out....


;104;

 

[Saffire Persian]

Review for Ch. 2

In my opinion, you should've waited a day or two at least before posting the next chapter.. it's more likely you'll accumulate more reviews that way, plus it gives you time to consider and revise your story.

Anyways...

3 months later

Sean read the inscriptions on the tombstone again and again, each time trying to remember something about his father. There weren’t many things for Sean to remember about him; as long as he could remember, his father was almost always working and never had much time for Sean.

Despite him not being home much, Sean seems attached to his Dad.. so there must be some very fond memories in that brain of his, even if they can only be counted on one hand.

Jumping off his bike before it stopped, Sean ran into the market and before the tire stopped spinning, was running out with a bag of groceries. He had planned to make dinner before his mother got home from her new job as a celebration. Today was her first time working since his father died and Sean wanted to make the best of the only joyous occasion that had happened in the past few months.

XD Man Sean's a good-hearted kid... I'm enjoying him already.. if only all guys were like that *sigh*

Sean began pedaling again, finding it hard to steer now that he had to balance a bag on the front of his bike. After a few minutes of furious pedaling, Sean finally came into the sight of his house. He was less than a minute away when a figure hopped in front of his path.

Littering the ground around him were various types of vegetables and meats in pieces. Furious, Sean wiped the blood off his lip and looked up to see what had caused him to fall.

Him - a question, would a spill from the bike really shred a lot of the content into pieces? In my opinion, I don't think it would o.o It didn't seem like a 'big' collision to me.

It was a figure heavily dressed in scarves and jackets, despite the warmness of the summer, with a hat covering his eyes. Around his arm was a tote bag, that was tattered and looked as if it had been through a lot. Sean climbed to his feet and walked over to confront the man.

Sean wasn’t a great battler, but he had learned the basics from his brother even though he though had frequently objected to battling, considering it just for Neanderthals with half a brain cell.

XD I laugh. And yay for Cubone.. I have a space in my heart for that little guy.

“Treeko, finish this,” the man said.

Missing a comma. ^^

Treeko rushed forward at an amazing speed, and hit Cubone with his own club.

There's irony for ya.. oh, and it's Treecko. Typo!

Sean though his plan was working, as the Treeko continued attacking the skull helmet.

Thought, not though.

The Treeko wasn't just hitting at random, it was focusing on one spot and working away on it.

Him.. Could a small lizard with tiny arms actually do that to any degree? *wonders*

“Mega Drain” the man ordered,

Again, missing a comma after Drain.

“Who are you?” Sean asked, looking up from his fainted Pokemon in it’s Pokeball.

I recommend: 'Sean asked, looking up from his fainted Pokémon that was now in its Pokeball.'

WellI dindn't know it was posssible, but it looks like youv'e

Do I need to point out what's wrong here?

Hmm.. I'm guessing his brother didn't have a Treecko before, though I felt the ending dialogue was a little static. Overall, pretty well done, I enjoyed the whole of it.. though there are things you could stand to improve, the prose is readable, easily so, so it makes for a nice read. Good job.

 

[Manulya]

Thanks SapphirePersian. I was half asleep when I was writing the chapter and I wanted to finish before I forgot what I wanted to do and rushed through the proofreading. I knew there was something wrong with Treecko, I just spelled it wrong there before fixing it too, but wasnt sure what. I don't know why I just didn't check it on Serebii main, I probaly forgot to. The piece with Sean and His father and their relationship will be better layed out in future chapters and as for the releasing of the chapters, I just wanted to get the first few chapters out as quick as I could to establish a plot.(The first entry was a prologue.) Thanks for all your criticism, its helped alot and I hope you continue to read.

 

[Manulya]

This chapter has a little bit of language, but not much. Because I'm rushing through, heres another chapter that I'm going to, against my better judgement, post now.

Chapter 3-Battle At the Tower

Sean and Cubone stood in the back of the crowd as the closed caskets of Sean and Marilyn Mianin were lowered into the ground next to Sean's father. There was a large group of people there, mostly friends and co-workers of the family.

As the funeral orator began finishing his praises, Sean and Cubone began to slip away. They didn't want the people's pity, he had already received enough of it over the last week since their deaths.

The police had begun an investigation on their murders and opened up Peter Mianin's case as well, but as before there were not many clues. Despite the animosity of the murders, the neither murders had left much behind for the police to use.

Sean was barely a minute away from the burial when a large hand gripped his shoulder. The boy turned around to see a tall man with a well-groomed moustache that looked as if it took several hours to manage, dressed in funeral attire. Sean didn't remember seeing the man at the funeral, but the boy wasn't exactly examining each of the people there.

"You are Sean Mianin, am I right?" the man asked in an oddly bland voice.

"Yes, that's me," Sean replied to the strange man. "And who are you?"

"I, young man, am Sir James Tromi, your parents lawyer," the man said, combing his moustache with his fingers. " And as of this moment, your guardian."

Sean's mouth dropped open and Cubone dropped its bone as the words sunk into the two. Sean had assumed he would go to live with his grandparents a few towns over, he hadn't really thought of any other options than that.

"In your parent's will, they stated that in the event of both their deaths, their children were to be sent to live with their godfather, which coincidentally, is me," Sir James said. Sean wasn't aware of ever having heard of a godfather, never mind this man, before in his life. Seeing the skeptical look on the boys face, Sir James reached into his pocket and withdrew a envelope, which he thrust into the boys hand. "That is a copy of your father's will. As you will see, what I said as well as a sum of money to be left you is shown in it."

Sean tore the envelope open and read the paper enclosed. Sure enough, it was his father's handwriting stating what the other man had said. The orphan looked up at his guardian, wondering whether there was any chance he was lying, and why he might lie.

"When am I going to live with you?" Sean asked looking over the papers again.

"Right now, if possible. Clothes will be provided for you, any of your choice of course. I'm not one to dictate what you should wear," the gentleman said. "Is there anything else you would like to take?"

"No...not really. There's nothing I really want or need to bring with me," Sean said before he remembered the Treecko. It wasn't his Pokemon, but Sean didn’t feel it was right for him to leave it behind. "Wait, here is one thing, but it'll take me a few hours to get."

"Fine, that's all right." Sir James said as he began to turn his back on Sean. "When you have retrieved what you need, go to the Pokemon center. I'll be waiting."

Without another word, the peculiar man walked off, Sean and Cubone were left in disbelief over the man's words. Once they had realized what had just happened, they snapped back to reality. They had to go find Treecko, but Sean was certain he knew where it was.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

After going back to the inn at which he was staying and changing, Sean and Cubone left towards Pokemon Tower. The tiny gecko was there quite often, looking after the graves of its teammates. It tolerated Sean enough, coming to him to get a meal then off again.

It was an hour walk to the tower, which Sean regretted not having his bike. That thought led to another, and Sean was thinking of his brother again and became depressed. His Cubone had given up all hopes of cheering the boy up and ended up throwing the bone at his trainer on numerous occasions. This would make Sean angry and the lonely Pokemon would rather have him angry than depressed.

"Excuse me miss," Sean said to the receptionist on the first floor. "Have you seen a small little green gecko lurking about?"

"Yes, I have. It’s the saddest little thing. Its always around looking after a few of the more recent graves," the depressed looking woman said sadly. "It's up on the third floor. Is it yours?"

"No it was my brother’s. But he's gone now and I'm going to be leaving soon and want to see whether it’ll be coming with me," Sean answered the lady who pointed towards the stairs. The boy thanked her for her help and he and Cubone climbed up the stairs.

Once he and Cubone reached the third floor, the first thing they noticed was a large commotion. On the far side of the room was a small crowd all in a circle. Sean pushed his way through the crowd to see Treecko in a battle with a Growlithe.

“Treecko, Treecko, Tree!”Besides the type disadvantage, one of Treecko's arms was in a splint and the Nurse at the Pokemon Center said it would be a long time before it would be able to battle. Despite what the Nurse said, Treecko was dodging each of the Growlithe's embers and moved in and knocked it out with a slam from it's tail. The boy withdrew his Growlithe and another boy from the crowd stepped forward.

"Now that you are all finished weakening his for me, it's my turn," the boy said defiantly, letting out a Pidgeotto from it's Pokeball. The brown and white falcon spread it's wings and let out a large squawk. "Otto, wing atta-"

Sean had managed to break his way through the crowd and stood between Treecko and the bird Pokemon. Treecko glared at Sean for making him look weak in front of his opponent.

"What are you doing?" the attacking trainer called out angrily. "I'm going to beat that rare Pokemon and make it mine!"

"It's not yours," Sean said, not budging an inch. The Treecko continued to glare at him.

"Then, who's is it?" the other boy asked angrily. "Is it yours?"

"No, it's my-" Sean was cut off when the other boy ordered a gust from his Pokemon. The wind attack missed Sean, Treecko. and Cubone and hit the graves beside them. Treecko cried out, for it was his teammates graves they had hit. Treecko rushed forward at the Pidgeotto, but the bird Pokemon beat it's wings sending the wood gecko flying back.

"Otto, quick attack!" the boy called out and the bird flew towards Treecko. Just before it hit Treecko, Cubone hopped into the way and hit the bird off guard with its club.

"Stop! We have to stop this. You'll kill it," Treecko glared again at Sean when it heard these words, and stood up firmly. The continuous battling it had been through had taken a large toll on Treecko and it slumped to the ground.

"I'm not going to kill it. I'm going to capture it." the other boy shouted back. "And if you stay in the way, I'll take you down, too."

"Fine. Let's make a deal." Sean said, standing firm. "We'll battle. If I win, the Treecko will go free. If you win, then you can capture it."

“Tree...tre...ko,”Treecko tried to hop up, but it was too weak. It was nervous at hearing Sean's proposition and hoped the other boy wouldn't accept the deal. The tiny gecko would be better off defending itself, considering what it had learned in it's battle against Sean. Much to Treecko's dismay, the other boy agreed and the two shook hands and walked to opposite sides of the room.

"Lets's start this. Otto, use wing attack," the other boy ordered and the bird
flew into the air.

"Cubone, get ready. We have to win this. Bonemerang," Sean directed his own Pokemon. Cubone threw it's club at the bird but the bird just flew out of the way for each attack. Otto flew down and hit Cubone, causing the tiny Pokemon to tumble back.

“Bone, bone,”Cubone unleashed another bonemerang, having the same result as the first. The bird flew down and Cubone prepared for another wing attack. Instead of a wing attack, the bird grabbed Cubone in it's talons and lifted it into the air.

"Higher, higher," the boy said in an almost maniacal tone. The bird flew higher and higher, letting go of the tiny Pokemon, letting it plummet towards the floor. "Yes!"

"Cubone!" Sean cried out as it hit the ground. It lay still for a moment, but with the help of it's club, manage to get to it's feet. "Cubone, come on. We can get through this."

“Cu..........”Cubone looked at it's trainer and nodded in acknowledgment. it went back into it’s battle position, ready for more.

"Otto, finish this and teach this kid why he should have never tried to stop us. Sky attack!" the boy called out his final command. The bird began to glow, and Sean knew he had a few moments left to turn the battle in his favor.

"Cubone, brace yourself," Sean said, crossing his fingers behind his back.

Otto began to glow brighter and it flew into the air. Once high enough, the bird dove down towards Cubone at a speed that even trumped Treecko's. The same time the bird dove, Cubone slammed it's club into the ground propelling it into the air.

The bird was going to fast to change directions and slammed into the ground, raising a cloud of dust. To everyone's amazement, the bird rose to it's feet an the other boy smirked.

“Cu, cu, cucucu, Bone!” Cubone's jump wasn't just for dodging. He plunged towards the Pidgeotto, slamming the club into the back of the bird's neck. The bird fell forward and slumped forward on the ground, out cold. The other boy fell to his knees, returning his bird into its Pokeball.

"Ha! Sucks for you. The stupid thing ran off," the boy snickered before running out of the room. With no battle, the crowd drifted away.

The boy was telling the truth; Treecko must've ran off when everyone was distracted. Still, Sean was happy about winning the battle, and congratulated Cubone before returning it to it's Pokeball.

Sean left the tower, a little sad about having to leave the little gecko behind. He arrived at the Pokemon Center to see Sir James flirting with a young girl in a skirt who couldn’t have been older than twenty. Sir James said something that made the girl blush, and she hurried off, but not before taking a card the man had put on the table.

“Ahh, they keep getting better and better,” the old man said with a grin when Sean came to stand beside him. “Did you get what you needed?”

“No, not really,” Sean shook his head. “I’ll have to leave without it, I guess.”

“Okay, then let’s be off,” the man said pulling his coat over his shoulders. “We’ll be taking one of my cars of course.”

Sean followed Sir James to the most luxurious car he had ever seen. It was long and black, not long enough to be considered a limo, but still fairly long. A chauffeur opened the door for the two and they climbed into the car.

There was someone already waiting in the car when the two entered. It was none other than the boy he fought at the tower earlier. The two boys instantly recognized each other and began to shout at each other.

“You’re the little **** who made me lose that Pokemon earlier!” the boy yelled, replaying his fresh defeat in his mind.


“And you’re the idiot who doesn’t know when to stop!” Sean shouted back, reaching for Cubone’s Pokeball on his belt.

“So I see you two have met each other before,” Sir James said. “Antony, I take that this is the ‘huge man’ that handed you defeat?”

Antony was silent for a moment before saying, “Well he shouldn’t have tried to stop me from catching that Pokemon.”

To both boy’s surprise, Sir James slammed his fist into Antony’s head. “Do you know why he was stopping you?”

“No, but it doesn’t matter, it wasn’t his,” Antony said, rubbing his head.

“Yes, it does matter.” the man said, and for the first time, Sean heard emotion rising in his voice. “I suppose you don’t that the Pokemon belonged to Sean’s brother, who died just last week?

“I didn’t think so,” Sir James said, now turning to Sean. “Sean, please ignore him. Unfortunately, he will be living with you and I at my estate and he is often quite rash.”

“Are you telling me this is the kid that we’re taking with us?” Antony quickly stopped himself, fearing he would be hit again.

“Well, he is in the car with us, is he not?” Sir James said, with a hint of irritation in his voice. “Sean, please forgive his stupidity. He doesn’t possess half the intellect his father does.”

Sean quickly recognized what the man was doing. Sir James was constantly praising Sean and with each compliment, Antony grew angrier and angrier. The man was trying to get the two boys to hate each other and it was working.

Sean was about to ask about Antony’s father when something slammed down onto the skylight. The skylight sustained the hit without a crack, and Sir James, with a Pokeball in the other hand, pressed a button. The skylight began to open revealing a small figure....

;104;

 

[Saffire Persian]

I"ve read chapter 2 now. ^^

I think you wrote it quite nicely. A tiny bit of the dialogue I think could've been reworded to make it have a greater effect, but I loved most of all the dialogue, as it seems to be very realistic to me. ^^ Oh - you could also fill in the 'plot hole' I think I see. As in, why would the murderer not want to kill everyone in the house? S/he would've at least checked upstairs to make sure there weren't any chance of witnesses. That was my only qualm, but perhaps you could explain it so it makes sense to me.

^^ Still, very intriguing, and the suspense is rising. ^^

 

[JimBob]

partway through Chapter 2, right above the paragraph describing Ray's Pokemon, you seem to have skipped a bit.

His parents beamed as they found out their son had solved the problem and even caught the Pokemon without one of his own. At the same time, a full five years younger than his brother, Sean had managed to catch his Cubone, bu

 

[Manulya]

JimBob: Could have sworn I had fixed that. I had noticed it when I was proofreading it too and knew I had forgotten something afterwords. Just fixed it, Thanx.

SapphirePersian: It may seem idiotic but I left that plot hole there are purpose, just to leave the story open ended. I'm not completely sure where I'm going with it and I want to leave all my possibilities open. And as for the dialogue, I've hated it all along. I didn't like how it came out and it always seemed a little wrong to me. I'll try to fix it, I'm an amateur you know. ^^

Manulya: Yup, Im adressing one to myself. I don't know when the next chapter will be up, I was about to abandon my thread when much to my surprise, I saw it on the front page, now classified as a hot thread. I know it doesnt mean much to you bigshot writers who get that in a day but all well. I was about to start another fic, abandoning this one, but Im glad this one is still alive. I'll prob interchange between the two, my ADHD makes me always having to do something. Ill most likely put a chapter up for the other than go back and forth. On another note: did anyone notice? I stole an idea from one of Dickens works. I wonder if anyone will pick up on it. It pretty Great.

 

[Saffire Persian]

Stole an idea from Great Expectations, eh? Well, lesse if I can find it, it's been forever since I've read it.

They didn't want the people's pity, he had already received enough of it over the last week since their deaths.

I can imagine.

The police had begun an investigation on their murders and opened up Peter Mianin's case as well

His as well? Did they close it or something? I would think they'd be on Peter's case for at least a year..but then again, knowledge at the way criminal justice works is more of a mystery to me.

as if it took several hour to manage, dressed in funeral attire.

several hours

"I, young man, am Sir James Tromi, your parents lawyer," the man said, combing his moustache with his fingers. " And as of this moment, your guardian."

Sir James Tromi? XD.. That alone amuses me - I like that guy already! Bland as he is.

Sean's mouth dropped open and Cubone dropped it's bone as it the words sunk into the two.

First, it's its bone and delete the next 'it'.

Sean wasn't aware of ever having heard of a godfather, never mind this man before , in his life.

Comma needed, I think.

Seeing the skeptical look on the boys face, Sir James reached int his pocket and withdrew a envelope, which he thrust into the boys hand.

I'm sure you can pick out what's wrong here.

"Fine, that's all right." Sir James said as he began to turn his back on Sean. "When you have retrieved what you need, go to the Pokemon center. I'll be waiting."

Doesn't prod much, does he?

Without another word, the peculiar man walked off, Sean and Cubone were left in awe.

Awe? 0_o.. Awe at what? Sir James didn't strike me as particularly 'aweing' exactly.. perhaps you could explain hwy.

After gong back to the inn at

see what's wrong here?

"Excuse me miss," Sean said to the receptionist on the first floor. "Have you seen a small little green gecko lurking about?"

Why doesn't he just say 'treecko' for more clarification?

"Yes, I have. It’s the saddest little thing. Its always around looking after a few of the more recent graves," the grave looking woman said sadly. "Its up on the third floor. Is it yours?"

Grave then 'grave looking woman' sounds repetitive. And word is it's, not its always around.

“I didn’t think so,” Sir James said, now turning to Sean. “Sean, please ignore him. Unfortunately, he will be living with you and I at my estate and he is often quite rash."

Is Antony James' son or something?


Small figure? Treecko?

Anyway, this was an okay chapter. The dialogue seemed a little static in places and you were getting it's and its mixed up in quite a few places - even those I didn't point out. Still, the fact he didn't get Treecko because the grass-type ran away was interesting, and I liked how you did that.

Keep it up.

 

[Manulya]

Finally, I got it done. With this chapter done, I can finally start the story. Well here it is, the next chapter of Human Flaws

Some review things first.
Why didnt i say it was Treecko to the recptionist? Keep in mind this is Kanto and Treecko isnt a native so she probally wouldnt no what it was. Other then that: thank you
Life On A Platter

Sir James slipped his Pokeball into his pocket as Treecko dropped down onto the seat. After carefully checking it’s splint, Treecko sat down on the seat next to Sean, paying no attention to the boy who had tried to capture it just earlier that day.

“I take it you’re coming with me, then?” Sean asked the gecko Pokemon. Sean took it’s glance as a yes, and managed to refrain himself from laughing at the fuming Antony.

“What an odd little Pokemon. I’ve never seen one quite like this. Am I wrong to assume your brother got this during his travels?”Sir James asked Sean, who’s happiness with Treecko companionship was overshadowed by the reminder of his brother’s death.

“Yeah, he did,” Sean answered gloomily, but was alarmed by a sudden thrashing from his pocket. In it’s Pokeball, was Cubone angrily thrashing about in it’s Pokeball. The little Pokemon had been happy that Treecko wasn’t coming, still feeling the sting of humiliation at his loss during their battle.

“He’s coming with us,” Sean said into the Pokeball. Cubone gave a disgruntled look at his trainer, then curled up into a ball and began to sleep. Sean too was feeling drowsy and struggled to stay asleep during the remainder of the ride.

After three hours of Antony’s glaring and Sir James’ marveling of Treecko, the limousine finally came to a halt. Peering out the window, Sean could see no building or house of any kind.

“Where’s the house?” Sean asked Sir James who was climbing out of the car after Antony.

“I’m afraid this area is quite desolate of any roads manageable by this machine,” Sir James said, tapping on the vehicle. “I’m afraid we’ll have to travel by Pokemon. What do you have with you?”

“Uhhh........” Sean said, looking at the Cubone waking up in it’s Pokeball and at the Treecko, standing besides him. “This is all, I guess.”

“Well that won’t do,” Sir James shook his head. Withdrawing a Pokeball from his pocket, Sir James let out a Rapidash and climbed on as Antony began to fly off on his Pidgeotto. “ You’ll have to walk, I suppose. Beware though, there are some wild ones in these fields. Just keep going East- that’s that way- until you see the manor. A maid will greet you.”

And with that note, Sir James digged his heal into Rapidash’s flank and galloped off, leaving Sean bewildered in a cloud of dust. The boy’s eyes followed the man until he was completely out of site.

Sean looked out on the expanse of shoulder height grass and wondered whether he’d get to the place by nightfall, which Sean thought to be no more than an hour away. After a moment of deciding against releasing Cubone in fear of a fight between him and the injured Treecko, Sean pushed his way through the grass, Treecko not far behind him.

It wasn’t long before Sean encountered one of the ‘wild ones’ Sir James had spoken of. The small bird with red wings and a brown crest had hopped out the nearby brush. Sean quickly recognized it as Spearow, a wild bird he had seen on more than one occasion. Seeing a possible way to cross the field, the boy’s dreams were quickly crushed when he realized the only Pokeball he had was Cubone’s.

The bird let out a large crow and ran forward, striking Treecko before it had a chance to protect itself. The small gecko was knocked back onto the ground, the splint severed slightly. The lizard struggled to it’s feet, the constant battles on it in it’s weakened state were becoming more and more hazardous to it’s health.

Seeing no other choice, Sean released Cubone from it’s Pokeball. The two allied Pokemon immediately began to quarrel, Spearow cocking it’s head to side in wonder. After a shout from Sean, the two Pokemon bitterly put aside their rivalry and rushed forward towards Spearow.

Treecko made it to Spearow first and was about to attack when Cubone knocked it out of the way and head butted the Spearow. The small bird stumbled backwards and was about to counterattack when Treecko kicked Cubone in the head, tilting the skull to the side.

“Stop!” Sean cried out to the two quarreling Pokemon. They ignored him, and continued to strike each other. Seeing no other way, Sean rushed forward and gathered both Pokemon under each arm and ran past the Spearow, who quickly followed.

The Spearow quickly followed in pursuit, gliding a few feet over the boy’s head. It dove down, digging it’s talons into Sean’s hair. He shook his head vigorously, and managed to knock the bird off, at the expense of some of his hair.

Returning Cubone to it’s Pokeball, Sean released Treecko from his grip and the two ran from the bird as fast as they could, Treecko would stop every few moments for Sean to catch up, then continue running.

After sprinting for only a few minutes, a large crowd of wild Nidoran, Spearows, and Ekans had joined in pursuit. Sean couldn’t take much more of the wear on his body; he hadn’t been out of shape when he lived in Lavender Town, but he wasn’t exactly the athletic type either. Finally his legs gave out, and he toppled forwards onto the ground.

Treecko tried to pull Sean up, but the gecko’s strength was far from able to lift Sean. The wild Pokemon came closer, Spearow leading the pack. Sean tried to get to his feet, but to no progress.

“Go, on. I’ll be alright,” Sean told the little Pokemon. Treecko shook it’s head. It refused to leave behind one of the few things of it’s former trainer.

The Pokemon were nearly upon them, when a large thunderbolt seared through the air, striking the lead Spearow. The bird fell to the ground, sizzling but still alive. The other Pokemon were frightened by the sight of this and quickly fled. Sean gathered the energy and turned to see his saviors.

It was a tall, massive woman, dressed in a maid’s dress. Standing beside her was a yellow humanoid creature with black streaks across his chest. She had an incredibly vacant look on her face, with no acknowledgment of what had just happened.

“Elektrabuzz, bring him here,” the maid said, and her Pokemon lifted Sean off the ground, and stood next to the lady. She fumbled through the pocket’s of the outfit, withdrawing a small little bottle of pills. Before Sean could say anything, she forced one into his mouth.

Nearly choking on it, Sean swallowed the pill. A few moments later, a sugar rush like he had never experienced before kicked in, and Sean jumped to his feet, trembling with energy.

“It’ll die down in a few moments,” the maid said, almost giggling at the boys reaction to the pill. “You must be Sean Mianin? Sir James told me to wait for you.”

“Yeah, uh-,” Sean was cut off when the maids enormous hands grabbed his wrists and led him through a thicket. Once through, Sean saw what he thought to be the manor of which Sir James spoke.

The house was large, far larger than Sean’s house. It wasn’t excessive though, or very impressive, but it still appeared well kept. Sean couldn’t think of what he should call it; it was too large to be called a home, yet too small for him to consider it a manor.

The maid dragged him through the front door, Treecko struggling to keep up, and Sean saw the inside to be as equally great as the exterior, though having a feeling of emptiness. Sean had no chance to examine the walls and the few paintings it held, the maid had rushed him through the halls into a bathroom.

“Dinner is to begin soon, and James has some company over to meet you,” the maid explained, taking out a bar of soap from a medicine cabinet hanging above the sink. “ Quickly wash up, then get me- I’ll be waiting outside the door. There are some clothes here you can wear, you’ll have to wear them until new clothes are bought for you.”

The maid rushed out of the room, leaving Sean with soap in one hand and clothes in the other. Treecko was sitting in the corner of the room with a focused look on it’s face, as it worked on restoring it’s bandage. It smirked at Sean then went back to working on it’s bandage.

After doing what the maid had asked of him, Sean left the bathroom, finding the maid exactly where she said she would be. Without even saying anything, the woman grabbed his wrist and led him into the dining room, Treecko trailing not far behind.

The room was already occupied when Sean entered. In addition to Sir James and Antony, there were there was a man and a woman, with a girl Sean assumed to be their daughter. The maid forced him to sit down next Antony, who cast a glare upon Sean at his arrival.

“So this is the new boy you got, eh, James?” the man asked after taking a large gulp of wine from his glass. The man was tall, or as far as Sean could tell since he was sitting down, just at the beginning of middle age, grey streaking his hair throughly“Your place is starting to turn into a daycare, now isn’t it?”

“I’m afraid so, Richard. But this is all,” Sir James said, taking a sip from his own glass. “Sean is Mianin’s boy, you know?”

“Mianin’s boy? I thought he was off traveling around the world on some farfetched scheme,” Richard said, his eyes looking over Sean, making the boy shrink in his seat under the appraising eyes. In an attempt to avoid the man’s eyes, Sean examined the other visitors.

The woman was young, or at least appeared so, in this day it was very common for surgeries to ‘rejuvenate one’s youth’. She was wearing an obnoxiously large pearl necklace that made Sean wonder how her neck could even hold them. Her bleached blonde hair was tied up behind her head in a bun, a large pin holding it together. The woman’s most noticeable features were her eyes, large and with a sense of pride to them. Though the woman had not spoken yet, Sean already disliked her.

The girl appeared to be older than Sean, at least by a few years. Her dark brown hair was elegantly curled around her face, a small Butterfree hairpin holding it together. Unlike the woman, the girl was not overdressed with jewelry, only a small silver necklace draped around her neck. When she saw Sean looking at her, she gave him a smile, causing the boy to look away embarrassed.

“No, this is his youngest son,” Sir James replied, getting Sean’s attention once again.

“I didn’t realize he had another son, every time he came to see me, he’d boast about how his boy was roaming around the world.” Richard said, looking away from Sean only for a moment to take a drink.

“That was his other son, Raymond,” Sir James explained, grooming his moustache between his thumb and index finger. “He is now unfortunately no longer among us.”

“I am sorry to hear that,” Richard said, his attention full on Sean now. “ I knew your father, when he was still alive.”

“Oh....How?” Sean said, still avoiding eye contact with the man.

“I was his banker, in a sense of the word. Kind man, fine man,” Richard said, allowing the maid, who had just entered the room with a ham, to reach his plate. “ I’m sorry, I forgot to introduce myself. I am Richard Somberson and this is my wife, Belinda, and daughter, Liza. We live on the next estate over.”

Belinda only gave him a cold stare while Liza gave him another smile. Not knowing what to say, Sean turned back to Richard.

“Are you any good at battling like your father boasted of your brother?” Richard asked, slicing into his helping of ham.

“Not really, sir. I’ve never really found a use for it until recently,” Sean answered honestly. Antony didn’t like this response, and made it clear by slamming his glass down hard unto the table, and barking out an order to the maid.

“That’s quite fine. Not all of us can be ‘Pokemon Masters’. But if there is ever a man to teach you, it will be him,” Richard said, pointing at Sir James with his fork. Sean was astonished to hear that, he hadn’t pictured the man as one for battling.

“I’m not that good, Richard,” Sir James said, now receiving his own helping of ham.

“Don’t be modest, you used to be one of the best trainers around these parts. How many times were you offered the role of gym leader?” Richard asked, finally turning away from Sean.

“Only a few times, I should say. I was young then, and quite foolish, I might say,” Sir James said with a hearty laugh. “But there was no point to it anymore.”

“I’m going to be much better then him,” Antony yelled out, releasing the agitation that had been building within him since the beginning of dinner. “I’m going to be better than anyone else!”

“Is that so? So I take it your going to be like your father?” Richard said, now laughing. “ Speaking of which, how is the boy’s father?”

“I’ll tell you about it later,” Sir James said, now serious as if they had gone upon a secret subject. And with that being said, the dinner went by like before, Richard and Sir James making polite small talk, occasionally including Sean or Antony, but never Belinda or Liza.

After dinner was over, Sean was led up to the room he’d being living in. It was large, too large for his taste. He didn’t own enough to even fill the room halfway. Treecko leapt onto the dresser and curled up in a ball, and quickly fell asleep. As soon as Sean reached his bed, he too fell asleep, not even bothering to change.

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*

Cautiously, Sean walked down the stairs and turned the corner into the living room. The room was coated in blood and the couch and chair were overturned. The walls were black from burns and underneath one of the overturned couches, he saw the lifeless body of Sean’s Torkoal. Sean followed the trail of blood into the kitchen. There on the ground he saw the bodies of his family and their Pokemon.

“Not again,” Sean said, tears running down his face. He reached down to overturn the bodies when a loud noise erupted from besides him.

Sean turned to see six ghoulish figures, with smaller figures beside them. He couldn’t make out anything of them, besides just a faint outline of the darkness. They came closer to him reaching for him. Cubone jumped in front to fend them off, but a flame lashed out from one of the smaller figures, and Cubone fell over, dead.

“No, not you too,” Sean cried out, as the creatures came closer. They all lunged upon him at the same time and Sean could do nothing but-

Sean woke up to Cubone standing on top of his chest. He looked around and saw he was still at Sir James’, much to his relief. Since their deaths, Sean had relived the night over and over in his dreams. The figures were new though, he had never seen them before.

“Cu, cu, cu,” Cubone said and hopped over to the window. Sean followed and looked to where the lonely Pokemon pointed with his bone. It took Sean a moment to notice it, but there he saw it. It was Treecko running towards the woods, in search of something.

“What’s he doing?” Sean wondered out loud. Seeing the figure of Treecko run into the woods, Sean became worried for the gecko’s safety. “C’mon.”

Sean and Cubone managed to find their way out of the house with some effort and made their way towards where they had seen Treecko run to. They made it to the entrance of the woods where they had last seen Treecko, and stopped. The woods behind the house were large, and Sean was afraid of getting lost among them. Deciding to risk getting lost and find Treecko, the boy and his Pokemon traveled into the woods.

“Bone, Bone, Cu,” Cubone let out a low growl and stopped suddenly. Sean looked around and saw the reason for the Pokemon’s sudden halt. A few hundred yards off, there was a figure with a small white monkey engaged in a battle with a little brown rat.

Sean and Cubone crept closer, hoping to figure out who the person was before confronting them. They grew close to the person, but the cover of the trees made it hard for Sean to make out who the person was. Still moving closer, Cubone suddenly stumbled forward, making noise as the twigs beneath it were crushed.

The figure suddenly looked up and said something undecipherable to the little monkey. The monkey charged forward and sprung into the air.

“Mankey, Mankey Mankey!” the monkey called out as it brought its hand down upon Cubone’s skull, pushing it back.

With Cubone out of the way temporarily, the Mankey concentrated on Sean. It leapt up to attack Sean when a Treecko emerged from the trees, kicking the monkey in the chest, forcing Mankey away. Treecko stood with a triumphant look on it’s face.

It’s triumph was short lived when a blast of fire shot through the air, throwing Treecko into a tree. Sean looked and saw Vulpix, the little red fire fox running towards him. The figure had apparently let out another Pokemon to battle with.

Vulpix let out another blast of fire at Sean, but Cubone was up and fended it off with his club. Mankey had also recovered itself and was moving towards Cubone when a burnt Treecko leapt into the way, stopping it in it’s tracks.

Sean looked up at where the figure had been, but they were now gone. No sooner had he noticed that did something slam into his side and tackle him to the ground. The attacker had the advantage, having taken him off guard, and held Sean’s arms down. Using all the strength he could, he pushed himself up and both he and the attacker began to roll.

The battle between the Pokemon was not working out well either. Neither side gave up, and both were heavily inflicted with wounds. At the site of both their trainers fighting, they stopped and watched almost gleefully, as it was the humans fighting for once.

Sean and the mysterious figure had wrestled to the top of a slope, the attacker still ‘winning’. They were both trying to push each other down, but neither refused to let go of the other. Both of them fell, rolling down to the bottom of the slope. At the bottom the two let go of each other, both panting heavily.

“Wimp,” the attacker’s voice said, and the first thing Sean noticed was that it was a girls. He pulled himself up to see that his attacker was the girl from the dinner, dressed much more casually.

“Liza?” Sean between pants, getting to his feet.

“I’m glad you remember,” she said, brushing the dirt off the front of her. The four Pokemon were coming down the hill, Vulpix and Mankey were giggling at the site of the beaten up boy.

“Why did you attack me?!?” Sean asked, sitting down on a large rock.

“I wanted to see whether you were any good. I heard you beat Antony, but that’s no way to measure someone’s skill,” Liza said, sitting down beside Sean on the rock. “I guess I had high expectations of you, maybe too high.”

“You heard me say I didn’t battle,” Sean said, trying to make up excuses for himself.

“Yeah, I should have figured you were a coward,” Liza said.

“Coward? Why do you say that?” Sean asked, embarrassed that she thought of him that way.

“If you weren’t a coward, why won’t you battle?” Liza asked, pushing her hair back behind. “Why aren’t you out there looking for who murdered your family and teaching them a lesson? That’s what I’d do.”

“I.....I don’t know,” Sean said, the words sinking in. He had wanted to but......

“I’d go out there and hurt them more than that. Much more,” She added.

“ How could I? They beat my brother, and my brother knew how to battle,” Sean said sadly. “I’m not nearly strong enough to beat whoever did it.”

“Then get stronger!” Liza cried out, getting to her feet. “Get stronger and show them make them regret it!”

“And how will I do that?” Sean said angrily.

“Staying here won’t get you any stronger that’s for sure,” the girl said. “Living here all nicey nice won’t make up for it.” And with that the girl left, Vulpix and Mankey following behind her.

Her words sunk into Sean deeply. What was he doing here? He should be out there finding who did this to his family. Looking at Treecko, he saw that the little gecko agreed. Cubone had a worried look on it’s face, but nodded it’s head in agreement. They had to go.

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Sean packed away the few things he had brought with them and decided he could then leave. The boy had changed back into his own clothes, leaving the borrowed ones behind with a note telling Sir James he had left and wasn’t sure when he was coming back.

Sir James was waiting for him at the doorway with a package in his hands. It seemed the man had already known Sean’s intentions, how, Sean didn’t know.

“You’re leaving, I take it,” Sir James asked, though already knowing the answer. Sean simply nodded. “I was positive you would. As much as I would rather have you stay, it is something you must do. I understand.”

“I don’t know when I’ll be coming back,” Sean told the man truthfully. “Probably not for a long time, if at all.”

“I know. That’s why I would like you to have this,” Sir James handed Sean the package. “Inside there is some food and matches and also a sufficient amount money. Also there is a very special Pokeball, called a Luxury Ball. It’s hard to come by so be careful while using it.”

“Thank you sir,” Sean said to the man.

“It's all I can do, besides not letting you leave,” Sir James said. “But be careful, you’ve seen what these people are capable of. Don’t let your guard down at all.”

“I never will, sir,” Sean agreed and turned to leave. “Goodbye."

“Sean,” the boy turned to see Sir James with his hand outstretched. Sean shook the man’s hand and thanked him again. “Good luck.”

Without thinking over what they were doing, Sean and his Pokemon left the manor of Sir James, far from prepared for what they might face, but not willing to break down until the culprits were gone.

 

[Manulya]

Okay since the fic is getting no where I guess I'll have to abandon it and try it agian when I'm a little more experienced of a writer. If for some reason you want this fic to survive post, Im or PM me but if not this threads pretty much dead. At least the new mangas are here on Serebii to read....

 

[Saffire Persian]

I wouldn't give up on a 'fic just because no one's reading it. Anyway, as I said before, I read it, and I liked the chapter better than previous chapters. And the battle between Sean and Liza was unexpected, but I liked how it played out. There are a few grammar/spelling mistakes here and there, but at the moment, I don't feel like pointing them out.

 

[Manulya]

Im pretty sure the whole point of writing a fic is for it to be read? Sorry but thats just my opinion...

 

[Saffire Persian]

You could always go to the 'reviewer list' that we have, and PM someone to ask for their review.

 

[Xiang]

Alright! Finally finished reading, although I'm glad you didn't make it waaaay too long, otherwise I would've tore my hair out.

Typo(e)s:

“I’m not that good Richard,” Sir James said, now receiving his own helping of ham.

Comma needed in between good and Richard, as Richard is addressing someone after the beef of the sentence.

“I never will, sir,” Sean agreed and turned to leave. “Goodbye.

Quotation mark after Goodbye.

I noticed that the fic didn't seem to have a lot of emotion. It is a tragedy and he felt sad, but perhaps you could describe that more. I just like to criticize on this aspect of writing since I'm complimented on how I potray emotions, oh, I'm boasting now. He wasn't just sad, depression swallowed him as he saw the corpses of his brother and mother.

Well, sorry for the not-very-elaborate review, but I didn't have much to say. Please continue, I'm very interested in the plot.

~Ratiasu

 

[Ace Kenshader]

I read all of you're chapters, and I'm quite interested with this story, although there is one error I like to point out.

“It all I can do, besides not letting you leave,” Sir Charles said.

you changed Sir James to Sir Charles.

Other than spelling errors, I think this story is very good, can't wait to read you're next chapter.

 

[Manulya]

I thought I had fied all of them. At the time I was writing this chapter, I was reading Subtle Knife (awesome book) and on of the characters was Sir Charles. Next chapter will take a while, I want this one to be the best and fix all the errors I had in the other ones. ;manyula;