If - Poem

[Flaming Lip]

Paranoia is a heavy burden
The fear of fear is conductive to failure.
Happiness is an abstract thing
Yet accepting that fact makes me no more mature.

Silence rings in my ears
Out of fear of being alone, I shout:
“Is there nothing I cannot know?”
Empty words I know nothing about.

If I take a wrong turn, I’ll be lost
If I judge the judges; I’ll feel guilty
If I take when I should give; I’ll pay a cost
If I give when I should take; I’ll feel empty

If.

Life brings a great reward
That reward being life itself.
Sorrow is a contagious disease
We all can feel what the other has felt.

When the storm roars, I will cry.
When the sun rises I’ll smile
When the night falls I’ll sigh
Never understanding, the random words I use
To tell what I feel; when I know without expression
Never comprehending, the paths we choose
When from where I stand one path is right.

If I stop to wonder, others will pass me by
If I break into a run, I’ll trip and fall behind
If I say I’m all right, I’ll be certain it’s a lie
If I say I don’t feel well, I’ll scoff at my selfishness.

If.​

 

[GoGoTenda]

Ooooh, I like this. It's somber and dark but pretty and hopeful. The repetition is wonderfully executed, but some of the longer lines with more complex wording disrupt the flow. Otherwise, there are only good things to say, Byz ^^

 

[Comis Patronus]

Nice job-I like the words you used. Two thumbs up!

 

[Flaming Lip]

ZOMGWTFBBQ REVIEWS! <3

GoGo:

Yeah; this is a lot more hopeful than most of my other work. The entire idea was based on a message Phillip of Macedon to the city of Sparta; which pretty much said:

'If we break through the Pelopenesus, Spartan independence will die forever.'

Sparta replied saying:

'If!'

Phillip never attacked Sparta.
=D

Comis Patronus:

Thanks! Some of the lines could use better wording; but I do like the meaning behind most of those words.

*FLAN FOR ALL <3*

 

[Midnight Umbreon]

Aack!! EMO POEM!!
*sings the emo poem song*

On a serious note(what's that again?), it was well worded. I have a poem in my closet somewhere called If... it even has an elipsis . . .
Meep!

 

[Flaming Lip]

Aack!! EMO POEM!!
*sings the emo poem song*

On a serious note(what's that again?), it was well worded. I have a poem in my closet somewhere called If... it even has an elipsis . . .
Meep!

0-0 Emo? This poem's actually positive... XDDDDD

"If" isn't a very uncommon title; I know a song called If; but this is a very different poem.

 

[Literate]

Wow. This is good.

Just a slight problem.

If I stop to wonder, others will pass me by
If I break into a run, I’ll trip and fall behind
If I say I’m all right, I’ll be certain it’s a lie
If I say I'm not sick, then I'll not be right.

See. The first two lines rhymes with each other. So, if you slur the 'right', it'll rhyme! ^.^ Besides, that does stick to it, right? ........Just noticed something. The first and third rhyme! That's it! ^.^ I'm so stupid. *shakes head* Whatevers...

Anyways, I hope to see more of your work. They are pretty well written.

~PEACE~

 

[Flaming Lip]

Wow. This is good.

Just a slight problem.


See. The first two lines rhymes with each other. So, if you slur the 'right', it'll rhyme! ^.^ Besides, that does stick to it, right? ........Just noticed something. The first and third rhyme! That's it! ^.^ I'm so stupid. *shakes head* Whatevers...

Anyways, I hope to see more of your work. They are pretty well written.

~PEACE~

XDDD Thats okay. Anyway; thanks for the review! ^_^ Have some flan! *gives flan*

Flan is good for your eyes! XP

 

[CHeSHiRe-CaT]

Wonderful poetry, as always, Byzaz ^^

When the storm roars, I will cry.
When the sun rises I’ll smile
When the night falls I’ll sigh
Never understanding, the random words I use
To tell what I feel; when I know without expression
Never comprehending, the paths we choose
When from where I stand one path is right.

If I stop to wonder, others will pass me by
If I break into a run, I’ll trip and fall behind
If I say I’m all right, I’ll be certain it’s a lie
If I say I don’t feel well, I’ll scoff at my selfishness.

If.

No matter how much we question life and its reasons, it will lead us down several paths, one way or another. It all depends on what we, as individuals, do to take us to and across those paths.