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ikarishipping fanfic (PG13)

xSweetxAurorax

Well-Known Member
omg the first ikarishipping fic on these forums!! and my first fic ever!! =D ok anyways this fic is ikarishipping rated (PG13) for mild language soon to come and if there is anymore information needed please tell me =)

Prolouge​

The hidden town of Futaba has remained a secret as long anyone could remember. Though it is a mystery if such a place exists, there is a legend that depicts the town as a small happy town with very few villagers and a beautiful castle made of diamonds and pearls near the north end of the town. The castle is said to be filled with riches to no end, and a kind family has shared their riches with the villagers for generations.

People from all over the world have searched in vain for the small town and the riches of its castle. No one has ever found the enigmatic place yet, or even proof of its existence. Yet the town is still under constant attack from all people of the earth.

But one fateful day, an evil soul had found the answer and all Futaba’s secrets had fallen into the wrong hands...

This is it...” A young pirate thought as he approached the pedestal.

A golden light shone from the treasure chest the pirate had searched for all his life. He pulled out a wrinkled piece of paper from his grayish torn pants. Strange inscriptions had been written on the old piece of paper ages ago.

I am the first to decipher and even find this old piece of junk..” the pirate thought to himself. “No other scholars could have deciphered it even if they did find it.” A confident smile passed his face for a second.

He stood in front of the chest and hoped he had deciphered right. “Ouvrez-vous dans le nom de Hikari, princesse de Futaba!” He spoke loudly and clearly.

The treasure chest let out a creaking sound and opened slowly, revealing an old scroll with golden handles. A smirk crossed the pirate’s already intimidating face as he walked forward to retrieve the scroll.

The minute he touched the scroll, a huge earthquake began to sound, and the ice cave the young pirate had been in started to cave in. But he was well-prepared. Such intelligence and strength should not have been given to one with such evil intentions. Sharp ice stalagtites started to fall from the ceiling. The pirate lifted his hand towards the ceiling, and a blast of fire shot out of his hand in strange pattern.

~~~~~~~~~~

The ice cave had completely collapsed as the horrified pirates looked on from their ship in the ocean.

“Our captain was in there!” One of the pirates yelped. “How dare he! He promised us fortunes!” Another yelled.

The pirates on the ship had begun a big fight over their presumed dead captain except for the youngest, who still could not believe his captain was dead. “How could you leave me like this?” He asked staring into the mist of the crumbled ice cave. As his eyes began to water, a dark shadow materialized from the mist, and the small pirate looked on to see his captain walking back to the ship.

“Look! The Captain! He’s alive!” The pirates cheered as their leader made his way back to the ship.

“Of course I’m alive. Did any of you doubt me?” the captain asked glaring boldly at his crew.

“I sure didn’t captain!” The youngest pirate gave the captain a big hug.

“I know you didn’t, Marcel.” The captain smiled fondly. He quickly regained his hard look and ordered the rest of his crew to make dinner.

“I knew you could do it brother!” Marcel cheered. “But how did you get past all those traps in the cave?”

The captain sighed and pulled his little brother on his lap. “Remember that old piece of paper we found at that deserted island?”

“I sure do brother!” Marcel squealed. “You saved Jacques from that huge Sharpedo remember!”

“I remember.” The captain chuckled, “Anyways, the paper said that the treasure could only be given to ‘the one with the Power of the Land.’ I don’t know about land but wouldn’t you think that someone that can do this can get through those caves?”

The Captain pointed to the dark sky, and miles away, wheels of fire began to dance in the sky. Marcel giggled, knowing that his brother was only luring away the people trying to arrest his captain for theft.

“Didn’t I tell everyone I could do it?” The captain smiled.

“You sure did!” Marcel mischievously tugged on the captain’s short purple hair. “You sure did Shinji...”

~~~~~

great so that's it..i know it sucks but reviews and suggestions would be nice =)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
2nd half of prologue =) Meeting Hikari



A piercing squeal shook the crystal castle, frightening hundreds of butlers and maids.

“Oh my goodness! Mother, I can’t believe this!” A pretty young girl jumped for joy at the sight of the red box her mother presented to her. “Please Hikari,” the girl’s mother pleaded, “You’ll wake up Ribbons.” But the bluish gray family pet stayed asleep on the coral rug, paying no attention to Hikari or her mom.

“Oh, that old Nyaruma is fine!” Hikari giggled, “Right, sweetheart?”

The old cat just yawned and went back to sleep. Hikari gave Ribbons a snack then swam back to her mother and her new birthday present.

Wow I wonder what Mother got me this year.” Hikari wondered, “This is my best birthday ever. I can’t imagine life without my mother.” Hikari smiled at took a look at the numerous boxes stacked right behind her. “The villagers are very supportive too.” Hikari thought. “I could buy another cave with all those gifts.

It was true. Hikari’s family was so popular in the small town of Futaba for being good rulers of their mermaid race. Their precious city was hidden in a huge triangle shaped boulder buried deep under the sands of the ocean. There is only a small hole in the tip of the boulder that peeks above the surface and allows sunlight in, but the interior walls of the boulder are paved with precious metals reflecting and amplifying the small ray of sunlight in many directions, illuminating the entire cave. At night, the great castle of Futaba glows vividly from the servant’s Lanturns lurking in the castle and the town of Futaba sleeps peacefully with a vast aurora circling the town, almost as if it’s protecting the peaceful town from intruders. They also have a secret entrance out of the city, but only Hikari knows about that.

“Well, are you going to open your present?” Her mother reminded her.

Hikari snapped out of her trance, and untied the sparkling white ribbon on her birthday present. She tore away the bright red wrapping paper and opened the white box it concealed.

“Mother.. it’s beautiful...” Hikari sighed enchantedly. “It’s gorgeous! Where did you get it?” She held up the beautiful pearl necklace that was hidden in the box.

“Remember the stories grandma always told you?” her mother giggled.

“Those old fairytales?!?” Hikari scoffed. “They weren’t true! How could somebody have the powers of the oceans or marry the prince of the land? Are there even such things as humans? I’m sure any mermaid down here would rather kiss a Feebas.”

“Oh quiet! They could be true. It is an old legend.” Her mother quieted her. “Anyways, Grandmother had that nice friend with the tank of Clampearls. He took the best he had and made a perfect necklace just for your birthday.”

“Wow that’s so sweet of him.” Hikari dreamed. She held the necklace up to her chest. “Hey it matches my sea shell hair pins and my shirt too!”

Hikari carefully locked on her new necklace and admired herself in the mirror. Her white, sea shell hair pins glittered brilliantly against her dark hair and her pearl necklace matched the sea shells in her hair and the white sea shells holding the sleeves of her white dress which came down to what humans would call her "knees." Her dress also contrasted beautifully against her dark tail and hot pink fins. She was easily the most beautiful mermaid in the ocean.

“Oh my baby is so gorgeous..” Hikari’s mother sighed, “Ok well I’m going go downstairs and make sure all the preparations for your party are ready.”

Hikari’s mother left Hikari in her quiet room staring at herself in the mirror. She kept staring at her reflection deep in thought then snapped her fingers when she got an idea.

“I know just the thing!” Hikari exclaimed.

She twirled around with her arms high above her head, spinning them off to the side. Suddenly, vibrant little bubbles cascaded down from her hands and enhanced her already good looks.

“There! Now it’s perfect!” Hikari giggled.

~~~~~~~~~~

reviews =) i don't know the name of dresses that come down to your knees..sry =p miniskirt dresses? sry o_O
 
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Hyourinmaru

Moose with the Pen
1. Yaaaaaaay! An Ikarishipping fic <3333
2. I like it, it sounds interesting, the only thing that annoys me with it is that everyone has english names an Hikari and Shinji don't...but that's really minor, and it doesn't drag my attention that far away from the actual story.
3. I always knew Shinji was a pirate. I need to make a paint photoedit now.
 

Skittygirl

Skittyx2
It seems interesting but it needs more info. For example, descriptions of the place would be wonderful. Also, connections between the pirate and Shinji should be visible.
 

xSweetxAurorax

Well-Known Member
yay!! reviews and suggestions!! =)

This is really interesting...keep it going, I like it so far:)

thank you rugia i will keep going =) (if the biology teacher doesn't kill me =p)

1. Yaaaaaaay! An Ikarishipping fic <3333
2. I like it, it sounds interesting, the only thing that annoys me with it is that everyone has english names an Hikari and Shinji don't...but that's really minor, and it doesn't drag my attention that far away from the actual story.
3. I always knew Shinji was a pirate. I need to make a paint photoedit now.

hmm...would it mess up the story too much if i changed shinji's and hikari's names? =p i could edit the first post and change shinji to some other scary name =)

It seems interesting but it needs more info. For example, descriptions of the place would be wonderful. Also, connections between the pirate and Shinji should be visible.

more info..got it! =) i'll keep that in mind when making the next chapter. ^_^

yayz. Make. More. Pleeeeaaassseeee!

you have the high honor of presenting the first Ikarishippy fanfic! (i think)

thank you! =) oh and by the way everybody..i think the next chapter will probably not be another chapter but a continued prologue =p since we don't know hikari yet. And if I was too vague with the whole plot, Shinji is the captain of his pirate ship and Marcel is his little brother ^_^ (i never imagined shinji with a little brother though.. O_O o well..) and they promised their whole crew lots of treasure if they helped them find the city of Futaba =) and of course they are pirates and pirates are bad people..so there are always people looking for pirates to hand them to the government for arresting so shinji made wheels of fire appear miles away from them so that all the people would go there and find out that shinji isn't there =p
 
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Ed Elric Bunny

bunny rabbit <3
Nicely done,I thought the description of the area was well done. I'd say more,but I'm not good at critiquing fics. xD; I'm looking forward to more!
 

xSweetxAurorax

Well-Known Member
Nicely done,I thought the description of the area was well done. I'd say more,but I'm not good at critiquing fics. xD; I'm looking forward to more!

aww that's ok =) and i have a somewhat "spoiler" or something you might want to know about the fic ^_^

oh i might start a pm list too :) ..so if u want to be added...yes just ask :D

i'm going by the fact that shinji has a ;392; thing and a ;466; thing and hikari has a ;395; thing and a ;428; thing =p (don't know the names =p) and they have the same power as their pokemon.

so the fire gorilla has a blaze ability which boosts it's fire ability if it's weak and the electabuzz evolution has the ability electric engine which speeds it up if it's hit by an electric attack. shinji has these abilities too.
the fire gorilla can learn: fire blast(which shinji used to blast the cave away), fire spin(Which shinji used to start fires miles away from where he was), giga attack, mach punch
and the electabuzz evolution can learn: Thunder, Thunder Wave, Protect, Cross Chop
so obviously im going by the fact he can also perform these moves
Hikari's penguin evolution has the ability of torrent which ups it's water moves if it's weak and the bunny has the ability of cute charm which can put an attract effect on an opponent if it touches the user (yeah u bet i'll be using that somewhere :D)
the penguin guy can learn: Bubble Beam(which Hikari use to make her look prettier), Aqua jet, Ice Beam, steel wing
the bunny can learn: Sweet Kiss, Quick Attack, Sneak, Endure,
and hikari can also use those moves =)
 

Artemis Ignitan

*~*Northwind Gale*~*
hmmn...cute charm you say? what an interesting plot twist...;)

*~second part of prolouge*~

so we finally get to meet Hikari...and she's a mermaid! Didn't see that coming.

Are there even such things as humans...any mermaid down here would rather kiss a Feebas.

She'll change her tune once she meets Shinji...nyahaha!
 
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Kupomaster

Division 14 Captain
She's a mermaid now...that's quite an interesting twist to the usual ditties that SPP members conjure. I smell a pirate invasion and a massive disturbance of privacy coming up in this little town of Futaba.

The only French pirate I can think of right now is Jean Lafitte. Shinji looks too evil to be French.

Anyway, Hikari would easily stop a crowd dead in their tracks with her looks.
 

Hyourinmaru

Moose with the Pen
Yay for making Hikari a mermaid <3. I love mermaids =D
Anyway, this is very interesting, very different to the usual shipping stories I read.
It's good, keep going!
 

Skittygirl

Skittyx2
Hikari as a mermaid? That sounds so cool especially how you described her. Keep up the good work. I didnt find any spelling mistakes either so thats good. Oh yes, I have an idea for the next chapter: Shinji see's a strange figure in the distance while on hos ship (its Hikari btw).
 
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xSweetxAurorax

Well-Known Member
hmmn...cute charm you say? what an interesting plot twist...;)

*~second part of prolouge*~

so we finally get to meet Hikari...and she's a mermaid! Didn't see that coming.



She'll change her tune once she meets Shinji...nyahaha!

haha u bet =) yup hikari's a mermaid ^_^

She's a mermaid now...that's quite an interesting twist to the usual ditties that SPP members conjure. I smell a pirate invasion and a massive disturbance of privacy coming up in this little town of Futaba.

The only French pirate I can think of right now is Jean Lafitte. Shinji looks too evil to be French.

Anyway, Hikari would easily stop a crowd dead in their tracks with her looks.

oh yeah i was too lazy to make up an ancient language so i used french o_O sry!! so hikari's french..and shinji thinks its some kind of ancient barbaric language sry for the confusion =p

Yay for making Hikari a mermaid <3. I love mermaids =D
Anyway, this is very interesting, very different to the usual shipping stories I read.
It's good, keep going!

thank you! =) i made hikari a mermaid just because her starter was a water type ^_^

Hikari as a mermaid? That sounds so cool especially how you described her. Keep up the good work. I didnt find any spelling mistakes either so thats good. Oh yes, I have an idea for the next chapter: Shinji see's a strange figure in the distance while on hos ship (its Hikari btw).

wow that's a good idea..im not sure if i'll use it in the next chapter but i definately will use it :D
 

Rugia

Alright!
Ooh, this reminds me of the Little Mermaid. I'm glad the first Ikari fic actually has a unique story:) I can't wait for the first chapter^^
 

Umbreon Rider

Tolkien fan 4 eva
it i OK lol but a little ermmmm
it dose not make sense can you explain the storyline pls?
 

xSweetxAurorax

Well-Known Member
hey guys sorry for not posting for so long/not working on the fic =(

I think it's pretty good so please write more.
thank you angel! i will =)

Ooh, this reminds me of the Little Mermaid. I'm glad the first Ikari fic actually has a unique story:) I can't wait for the first chapter^^
thanks, sorry for the long wait =(

it i OK lol but a little ermmmm
it dose not make sense can you explain the storyline pls?
yes i know ='( i promise it will make sense as the story progresses but for right now, all you need to know is the little town of futaba is a hidden town filled with alot of treasures, all humanity had done everything they could to get to the treasure & shinji was the only one who could decipher the clues, shinji is a pirate on every wanted poster because he's a pirate...he steals stuff =p and hikari is the princess of futaba and it was her birthday
 

xSweetxAurorax

Well-Known Member
sorry to double post..

and chapter 1 of the fic is still the same rating. sorry to take so long..school is getting really hard with finals and everything and this is my first year taking finals so please...don't rush me =) and thank you for your patience and we also have a fanart by skittygirl of hikari =)

http://i107.photobucket.com/albums/m296/cindykitty22/MermaidHikari.jpg

Chapter 1 The Party

“NOO!!! Please No! Don’t!!”

An old man cried as a fierce band of pirates started to haul away his cargo. The brutal pirates just ignored the man as another pirate finished tying him up.

“You just don’t shut up do you?” The pirate snickered. “Look we’re just gonna borrow your stuff for a little while and if we feel like it, we’ll give it back later.”

“OH NOOO YOU DON’T!!” the old man exploded. “YOU WILL GET OUT OF MY SHOP, LEAVE MY CONCOCTIONS AND REPORT YOURSELVES TO-..”

“SHUT UP OLD MAN!!” One of the pirates cut him off and swiftly flung a dagger towards the old man’s direction. The old man gasped in fear as the dagger skimmed across his head and stabbed the wall above him. The old man wheezed out some inaudible cries for his shop and then slowly fainted. The pirates went up in a roar of laughter.

“Haha! Nice one Pete!” A pirate snickered.

“Yeah, that’s one way to shut a land lubber up!” Another pirate mocked.

“Ok we had our fun guys! Let’s go! We have everything we need!” announced the main pirate.

~~~~~~~~~~

(Meanwhile back on the ship)

Holy Huntail! What the heck is taking them so long?” Shinji thought to himself. “A few potions, herbs and some roots, that’s what I told them right? What did they do? Raid the whole island?

“Capt’n! We’re back!!” A voice called out from the distance.

“Hmm?” Shinji stood up from the mast he was leaning against. Groups of pirates approached the ship.

“Hey captain! We got the stuff you wanted us to get!” called one of the pirates.

“Yeah but we were tired of stale fish and bread so we got some fresh ones from this other shop” another pirate yelled.

“And fresh water! The stuff we have is growing mold!!” Another pirate shouted.

“Here’s some better pots and pans for the kitchen!” “And firewood!” “Soap for the cabin boys!” Many others shouted out their success.

“Wow they really did raid the whole island.” Shinji whispered to himself with surprise. “Quiet everybody! Gather your loot and bring it on board! We have no time to lose!” Shinji ordered them.

The horde of pirates quickly loaded all their goods on their ship and set sail again. As the pirates squabbled on the deck, following the orders given to them, Shinji stood at the front of his ship examining the old map he found at the ice cave:

Turn east towards the island,
Sail through the sharks,
Sink to the bottom,
Now look to your heart


Look to your heart? What does that have to do with getting to Futaba?” Shinji wondered in frustration. “We went east to the island, but what do sharks and hearts have anything to do with directions? Ugh.. This map is so pathetic. I could just burn this piece of junk up!” Shinji hand started to flare as he kept thinking but he caught himself before he scorched his most important link to the legendary town.

“CAPT’N!!! WE HAVE A PROBLEM!”

Shinji awoke from his trance to see the ocean full of sharpedos attacking his ship. “Sail through the sharks?” A sea of ideas rushed though his head like a wave crashing the shore of a beach. Shinji raised his hand towards the clouds above and his crew watched as the clouds began to get dark. Raindrops started to fall and electricity coursed through the clouds. Shinji swiftly snapped his fingers down towards the ocean and a surge of Thunder followed his movements and shocked all sea creatures near his ship. The crew of pirates watched their captain paralyze all the sharpedo attacking the ship and cowered in fear. Marcel however stood above the rest of them and admired how his brother could shock the sea creatures and protect the ship from his thunder at the same time.

The sharpedos swam away from the surface. The pirates began to cheer their captain but Shinji knew what would happen next.

“Quickly! Marcel get everyone to drink the potions that Max prepared!” Shinji ordered.

“But capt’n! We want to celebrate your- ” Marcel started to protest.

“I don’t care!! Do it now!!!” Shinji shouted.

Suddenly the ship began to rock. The ship started to spin in circles and the water underneath the ship began to part.

Sink to the bottom...” Shinji thought.

Everyone rushed down to the bottom of the ship to drink their glass of potion. It was a special potion that Max had made that would help them breathe underwater. Everyone had finished their glass of potion except for Shinji. Marcel quickly ran up to the deck where his brother was.

“Shinji! Drink!! We’re going to drown!!” Marcel cried.

Shinji took the glass from his brother and chugged it down quickly. Marcel’s terrified cries did not faze his concentration.

“Now look to your heart.. I wonder...” Shinji thought. He pulled his hand from his brother who was yanking it persistently and walked to the center of the ship. The ship started to shake a little more violently. Marcel fell back to the sides of the ship but Shinji retained his balance and bowed his head. He then lifted his hands up into a praying fashion.

“What is he doing? He must have some kind of way to save us..” Marcel thought, calming down.

Bands of fire started to circle Shinji as he raised his head and opened his eyes. The bands of fire then encircled the ship and the ship stopped rocking. They sank slowly down to the bottom of the ocean with Shinji’s crew cheering him once again.

“Our capt’n has saved us all!” Pete exclaimed. “Three cheers for the mighty Shinji!”

“HIP HIP HOORAY!!” the whole crew shouted.

“Thanks guys.” Shinji quickly pushed away the praise. “Now everybody listen up! This is the moment we’ve all been waiting for. The town of Futaba and all it’s riches are all inside this boulder.” Shinji tapped the huge boulder the ship sank next to. “I will need everybody to get all the weapons and armor and get ready for a war. Don’t be scared. These people live in a rock! They don’t have to fight anybody so they don’t have the weapons that we do. Sure they may have a rake or a shovel but that’s what we’ve got our armor for. Raid Futaba of all its riches and we will rise back up to the surface and sell all their goods. Did you hear me? I want all their riches! Every last one of them...”

The pirates cheered as an evil grin swept across Shinji’s face.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hey Nozomi? Does this make-up make my eyes look weird?” Hikari asked.

“Well just a little, let me fix it up for you.” Nozomi grabbed a make up brush nearby.

“It was really nice of you to come early to my birthday party just to help me with my hair and make up.” Hikari closed her eyes.

“Hey what are best friends for?” Nozomi brushed on some more silver eye shadow on Hikari’s lids. “Hey speaking of friends, is that Ash dude really going to ask you out today?”

“Oh no Nozomi! Not that again!” Hikari moaned.

“Sorry I couldn’t help it.” Nozomi giggled. “He’s just so desperate! But I’d be desperate too if I were a guy.”

“Haha.. Funny..There really just doesn’t seem to be any nice guys down here. Well I mean guys that actually like you as a person. Not as a princess of Futaba.” Hikari sighed.

“Hey girl, there’s plenty of fish in the sea right? You’ll find somebody!” Nozomi winked. “I love your hair can I curl it?”

“Sure!” Hikari smiled. “And I love your necklace! I have a dress that goes with that. Hang on one second. ”

By the time Hikari and Nozomi had finished getting ready, the party had started and the butlers were running back and forth with refreshments and napkins.

“Wow. You really keep ‘em busy huh?” Nozomi giggled.

“Oh yes we do.” Hikari smiled. “But they are such hard workers and we appreciate everything they do for us.” She talked loudly enough so all the chiefs and butlers could hear her in the kitchen and dining room. They all smiled at her and welcomed her and Nozomi into the garden.

“She’s such a sweet girl.” One of the maids commented.

After a while of talking and frolicking in the garden the two mermaids swam up to the balcony to relax and try to avoid all the gentlemen asking them to dance.

“It sure gets tiring being so popular huh Hikari?” Nozomi laughed.

“Tell me about it.. Hey! Let’s go to my room! There’s no one there except Ribbons!” Hikari suggested.

“Good idea let’s go! I need a break.” Nozomi followed her friend into her room.

They got tired after greeting so many guests and avoiding all the cheesy guys. They really weren’t expecting anybody in Hikari’s room but Nozomi opened the door to find a nicely dressed young man with black hair sitting on Hikari’s bed with a bouquet of flowers. Both girls screamed in surprise and tripped over each other in shock.

“Whoa! Excuse me ladies! I didn’t want to scare you!” The young man chuckled.

“Nice to see you too, Ash.” Nozomi greeted sarcastically. “What are you doing in my room?” Hikari asked him slightly annoyed.

“I just wanted to wish my favorite girl a happy birthday!” Ash grinned and presented his bouquet, completely unaware of the girls' annoyed tones. “I got coral roses! Your favorite.”

“Thank you Ash that’s very sweet of you..” Hikari hastily thanked him and took the bouquet.

“Oh yes Hikari, There was something else I wanted to ask you.” Ash added on slyly.

Nozomi’s eyes opened wide as Hikari tried her best to get out of the situation. “Oh well I uh.. I’m a little...uh..”

Before Ash could speak, a rumbling sound filled the castle and shrill screams could be heard from downstairs.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

haha..ok so i suck at poems.. =p im sorry sorry it's so short...sorry for everything!! =p but if you would still rate & review, you'll be on santa's nice list for christmas ^_^
 

Hyourinmaru

Moose with the Pen
Yay~ an update!
I liked this chapter, you're keeping the characters in character so far and the grammar is good. Nozomi being in the story is awesome, and the one-sided Pearlshipping will be interesting. There was a few places where I saw that you could use a comma, but everything else was good. I hope Nozomi has alot more screentime (is that the right word? XD) in the fic. I'm looking forward to chapter 2~.
 

honey_clover112

tsundere full force!
EYO!!!!Well, this is my first time reviewing ur story(but I reviewed too much on fanfiction.net!!!!HEHE!!!!)And I would like that this Ikari fic(first!!)isn't cruddy!!!!And I appreciate that!!!Pls. continue this fic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) ;)
 

xSweetxAurorax

Well-Known Member
well worth waiting for! Great job! :) Although I'm not to pleased with this one-sided Pearlshipping included, but meh, that's Pokeshipping bias for you. Will be looking forward to next chappie!

yeah ash is gonna be...slightly out of character in this fic >_< sorry =(

Yay~ an update!
I liked this chapter, you're keeping the characters in character so far and the grammar is good. Nozomi being in the story is awesome, and the one-sided Pearlshipping will be interesting. There was a few places where I saw that you could use a comma, but everything else was good. I hope Nozomi has alot more screentime (is that the right word? XD) in the fic. I'm looking forward to chapter 2~.

more commas and more nozomi! got it =)

EYO!!!!Well, this is my first time reviewing ur story(but I reviewed too much on fanfiction.net!!!!HEHE!!!!)And I would like that this Ikari fic(first!!)isn't cruddy!!!!And I appreciate that!!!Pls. continue this fic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) ;)

thank you...it's very hard keeping up with this fic and my life o_O i'll try my best! (although i not exactly the best student in english class >_<)

and i am now officially having a poll! =D i'm wondering whether or not to change futaba to the english name
twinleaf
because
twinleaf town
doesn't sound like a town that would be found under the sea o_O
 
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