I'm desperate for help with a Pocket Hearts II Remake!

[turboredeemed]

Here is my plot so far

Somehow, portals to the Kingdom Hearts Worlds have again appeared all over Kanto (including the Sevii Islands), Johto, and Hoenn (Battle Fronteir included). Teams Rocket, Magma, and Aqua have gone into the portals, and the Dusk, The Thirteenth Order, and the Heartless, are coming out of the portals. You are a trainer who either just got a weapon from Kigndom Hearts, or a traienr that recieved on two years ago, during the original Pocket Hearts. You have 6 fully evolved, non legendary (as legendaries will be summons) Pokemon, and your Kingdom Hearts Weapon, you may either be Light (Good) or Dark (Evil). You must go into the portals, team up with the heroes of that world, and defeat the villains, or do the opposite (as in Team up with the Villains and defeat the Heroes). There are now fusions with your Pokemon and other characters (you need the other character's permission and ask who should have the form), team attacks (fuse attacks with world Party Members), and mnay other things. The portals, which team goes in them, the movie that world is based off of, and where the protals are, will be listed below. (NOTE: IF you go into a certain world, you will be slgihtly different looking ,so there are multiple physical descriptions in the sign up)

THE PORTALS

Littleroot Town-Twilight Town (Team Rocket will appear here)
Dragon's Den-Land of The Dragons (Team Magma will appear here, based off Mulan)
Seafoam Islands-Port Royale (Team Aqua will appear here, based of Pirates of the Caribbean)
Seven Island-Hollow Bastion (Team Rocket will appear here, former castle of Maleficent)
Hoenn Safari Zone-Pride Lands (Team Magma will appear here, based off The Lion King)
Johto Battle Tower-Space Paranoids (Team Rocket will appear here, based off Tron)
Cerulean City-Atlantica (Team Aqua will appear here, based off the Little Mermaid)
Route 111-Agrabah (Team Magma will appear here, based off Aladdin)
Battle Pike-Disney Castle (Team Rocket will Appear
Here, King Mickey and Queen Minnie's Castle)
Five Island- Destiny Islands (Team Aqua will Appear Here, homeworld of Sora, Riku, and Kairi)
Vermillion City-Timeless River (Team Aqua will Appear Here, based off Steamboat Willie
)
Mt. Pyre-Halloween Town (Team Rocket will Appear Here, based of The Nightmare Before Christmas)
Petalburg Woods-100 Acre Wood (Team Magma will Appear Here, Based off Winnie the Pooh)
Route 45-Olympus Coliseum (Team Rocket will Appear Here, based off Hercules)
Seafloor Cavern-Deep Dive City (Team Aqua will appear here, based off the secret ending in Kingdom Hearts: Final Mix)

THE SIGN UPS
Name: Eric
Gender: Male
Personality: Easily angered, hyperactive, the average hero, and a good friend
Weapon: Jungle King Keyblade
Pokemon: Sceptile, Kingdra, Donphan, Crobat, Gyarados, Rhydon
History: recieved his weapon and Pokemon Two Years ago, defeated Ansem, and closed the original portals
Physical Descriptions
Regular: The boy Traienr from Pokemon Emerald
Space Paranoids: Same hat, but futuristic Battle armor instead of the regular clothes
Timeless River: A black-and-white Cartoony version of the regular
Pridelands: A black lion with a white mane with his Pokeballs around his neck (Kinda like Sora's Crown Necklace)
Atlantica: A merman version of the regular (Half Human, half some sorta marine animal)
Halloween Town: A gothic veriosn of the Regular with a pumpkin shirt and black baggy pants.

I worked for about a couple months on this.. so please don't criticise me!

 

[~*Ratiosu*~]

Not to start a flame war, but if we don't criticize you...you won't get any better. It's called constructive criticism, we use it so that you don't have lame RPs till your fifteen or whatever.

But I don't play Kingdom Hearts so...sorry ^-^

 

[katiekitten]

Well, the looks a bit simular to the other times you posted this. ¬.¬ But that is not for me to decide, only help...

First of all, who are the Dusk? I don't play kingdom hearts, so it would be a good idea to maybe explain a little. Why have these portals opened? Explain, please. Has this happened before? If so, why? Explain please. It is better to have a base line plot. How do the trainers know what is happening? Explain please. Where do they get these weapons from? Explain please.

Just a bit of advice, we people of the rpg section like everything explained for us. Less work for us.

 

[PhQnix]

Somehow, portals to the Kingdom Hearts Worlds have again appeared all over Kanto (including the Sevii Islands), Johto, and Hoenn (Battle Fronteir included).

Would it not be nice for an explanation as to why they have been appearing?

eams Rocket, Magma, and Aqua have gone into the portals, and the Dusk, The Thirteenth Order, and the Heartless

Is describing these people beyond you? We need to know what they look like, what they aim to do and how they act.

You are a trainer who either just got a weapon from Kigndom Hearts,

What are these weapons like, write this plot as if you're explaining this to someone who hasn't played the game.

or a traienr that recieved on two years ago, during the original Pocket Hearts.

Will you not limit these sign ups to those who participatd in the original RP? If so, say so.

You have 6 fully evolved, non legendary (as legendaries will be summons) Pokemon,

How do summons work, when are people allowed to use summons, you need to explain this with more detail.

There are now fusions with your Pokemon and other characters (you need the other character's permission and ask who should have the form),
Other characters are fusing with you're pokemon, or are your pokemon fusing with other character's pokemon? Explain.
team attacks (fuse attacks with world Party Members), and mnay other things. The portals, which team goes in them, the movie that world is based off of, and where the protals are, will be listed below
Where did all the movies come from, not once did you explain that the portals linked to the settings of various Disney movies

This makes very little sense to me as I have not played the videogame, try explaining this to people who haven't played Kingdom Hearts.

Regular: The boy Traienr from Pokemon Emerald

That is not a full description, create an original character.

Personality: Easily angered, hyperactive, the average hero, and a good friend

That could be lengthened slightly...

I worked for about a couple months on this.. so please don't criticise me!

Why bother posting it then?

You need to explain why the Disney movies are involved in this plot, why are the portals appearing and you need to explain the locations you've chosen to be linked to the portals.

 

[turboredeemed]

Umm, fusing characters is exclusive to Kingdom Hearts II, and the fusion is OBVIOUSLY temporary, and lasts through one battle. Kingdom Hearts II just came out in Japan about before Christmas, and the Dusk are like white Heartless (Hearltess are usually black), and they are stronger than the Heartless. You can fuse with either your Pokemon or another Character, like Sora fusing with Donlad will be Wisdom Form, and Sora fusing with Goofy will be Valor Form, it's similar to DNA Digivolving in Digimon.

 

[Skrusti]

I promise not to flame =) harshly

Turbo, if you had a flippin' brain, you'd answer ALL of the questions people pose to you. But no, you pick and choose. Why the hell do you continue to do this? Nobody can help you, because you ignore, or blow aside, all offers of help.

Seriously, until you can come up with a good RP, GTFO. I'm getting tired of seeing your shitty RPGs clogging up the place. And I'm damn sure everyone else is too.

If you want to 'redeem' yourself, quote PhQnix's post, and answer EVERY question. Not that flippin' hard.

 

[DigitalKaede]

Somehow, portals to the Kingdom Hearts Worlds have again appeared all over Kanto (including the Sevii Islands), Johto, and Hoenn (Battle Fronteir included).

Why?

Teams Rocket, Magma, and Aqua have gone into the portals, and the Dusk, The Thirteenth Order, and the Heartless, are coming out of the portals.

Who are the "Thirteenth Order" the Heartless? Explain why TR, Magma and Aqua are going into the portal.

You are a trainer who either just got a weapon from Kigndom Hearts, or a traienr that recieved on two years ago, during the original Pocket Hearts.

Kingdom Hearts. Trainer. Will you think that anybody from the original Pocket Hearts will join?

THE PORTALS

Littleroot Town-Twilight Town (Team Rocket will appear here)
Dragon's Den-Land of The Dragons (Team Magma will appear here, based off Mulan)
Seafoam Islands-Port Royale (Team Aqua will appear here, based of Pirates of the Caribbean)
Seven Island-Hollow Bastion (Team Rocket will appear here, former castle of Maleficent)
Hoenn Safari Zone-Pride Lands (Team Magma will appear here, based off The Lion King)
Johto Battle Tower-Space Paranoids (Team Rocket will appear here, based off Tron)
Cerulean City-Atlantica (Team Aqua will appear here, based off the Little Mermaid)
Route 111-Agrabah (Team Magma will appear here, based off Aladdin)
Battle Pike-Disney Castle (Team Rocket will Appear
Here, King Mickey and Queen Minnie's Castle)
Five Island- Destiny Islands (Team Aqua will Appear Here, homeworld of Sora, Riku, and Kairi)
Vermillion City-Timeless River (Team Aqua will Appear Here, based off Steamboat Willie
)
Mt. Pyre-Halloween Town (Team Rocket will Appear Here, based of The Nightmare Before Christmas)
Petalburg Woods-100 Acre Wood (Team Magma will Appear Here, Based off Winnie the Pooh)
Route 45-Olympus Coliseum (Team Rocket will Appear Here, based off Hercules)
Seafloor Cavern-Deep Dive City (Team Aqua will appear here, based off the secret ending in Kingdom Hearts: Final Mix)

Explain.

THE SIGN UPS
Name: Eric
Gender: Male
Personality: Easily angered, hyperactive, the average hero, and a good friend
Weapon: Jungle King Keyblade
Pokemon: Sceptile, Kingdra, Donphan, Crobat, Gyarados, Rhydon
History: recieved his weapon and Pokemon Two Years ago, defeated Ansem, and closed the original portals
Physical Descriptions
Regular: The boy Traienr from Pokemon Emerald
Space Paranoids: Same hat, but futuristic Battle armor instead of the regular clothes
Timeless River: A black-and-white Cartoony version of the regular
Pridelands: A black lion with a white mane with his Pokeballs around his neck (Kinda like Sora's Crown Necklace)
Atlantica: A merman version of the regular (Half Human, half some sorta marine animal)
Halloween Town: A gothic veriosn of the Regular with a pumpkin shirt and black baggy pants.

Personality needs to me more descriptive. Explain Weapons. History Way too short. "The boy from Pokemon Emerald". You used that WAY too many times. Can't you explain more than that? What's with Space Paranoids, Timeless River, Pridelands? Explain.

I don't think you worked on this for months. I thinked you just copied from the other one.

 

[GoldenHouou]

Umm, fusing characters is exclusive to Kingdom Hearts II, and the fusion is OBVIOUSLY temporary, and lasts through one battle.

Exclusive to Kingdom Hearts 2? Ever thought maybe not all have played these series.

Kingdom Hearts II just came out in Japan about before Christmas, and the Dusk are like white Heartless (Hearltess are usually black), and they are stronger than the Heartless.

If it came out in Japan, how are we supposed to know of its characters? And what the heck are the "Heartless"? Something from Kingdom Hearts? Does that mean that this RP is only for those whom have played it?

You can fuse with either your Pokemon or another Character, like Sora fusing with Donlad will be Wisdom Form, and Sora fusing with Goofy will be Valor Form, it's similar to DNA Digivolving in Digimon.

So we can fuse. And then what? What happens when we fuse? Will we look the same? Do we get all the powers from what we fuse with?

You have to explain and descripe everything. Think of us as small children who you are telling a story we have never heard of before.

And if you are desperate for help, like you say, then why won't you want us to critizize? If we won't, how will you get better? How can we help if we won't give you constructive critisism?

 

[Seijiro Mafuné]

AFAIK, there's no Thirteenth Order. There's the XIII Organization.

Also, you could have mentioned on the first post that it's for common fans only, given how it sounds.

 

[Blivsey]

Alright, does anyone at all know how turboredeemed is allowed to stay on these forums? He insists on this crappy KH2/pokemon crossover, even though he never improves it to forum standards, no matter how many times he is told no, and STILL uses inconsistent grammar. He is a noob in every way, shape and form, no way around it, and he needs the lifelong ban.

 

[Seijiro Mafuné]

He doesn't really break the rules. That's the probalo.

 

[~*Ratiosu*~]

Additionally, do you not know what the boy trainer from Pokemon Emerald's name? It's Emerald. And you can be him, just make sure you describe him in lengthy detail. Also, do what everyone else says.

Yes, he is breaking the rules. He's not giving description, etc. as to what his plot is, and he is making more threads like this. He ignores the mods, global mods, etc. and he is disrespectful and starts flame wars.

And don't blame it on your Asperger's Syndrome, turbo. I have it too, and look how good I am at description and other stuff. And I know everyone's is different but I've read all the articles and everything but it doesn't say 'has trouble making online games' anywhere. And people with asperger's are supposed to communicate better online. -_-

 

[Seijiro Mafuné]

AND they don't tend to be idiots when doing things they like.

 

[Sonozaki Maya]

You know, there was this old friend of mine, that kept giving me links to your RP ideas, and when I see them, I laugh. Because first off, it's like you're SCREAMING about no "criticism", when criticism is the only way to improve. Next, you've never actually bothered to describe your character, only giving one liners (ref: here), and "Easily angered, hyperactive, the average hero and a good friend" (all of which I typed without copying and pasting) does NOT constitute as a decent personality, and about your description, you're missing quite a bit of information, remember description does not only mean what clothes your character wears, but also about your character's physical appearance, and "The Boy trainer from Emerald" also does not constitute a decent description, either, rather a haphazard rush in typing everything out. You have the determination to make RPs, but seem to lack the skill to do so.
The plot. You say that this is the plot "so far". Please consider about posting THE WHOLE FINISHED PLOT before ACTUALLY POSTING IT. A half-done plot isn't worth criticizing in anyway. -_-;;;; And there are a lot of unexplained plotholes in it. What's the purpose of the XIII Organization and the Heartless/Dusk/Nobodies appearing? It seems that this RP is heavily based on those who already know about KHI and KHII or those that've partaken in the original PH RP, so please consider about newcomers before submitting a plot.

I'm also trying to refrain from flames, but seriously, you have a long ways to catch up.

 

[DigitalKaede]

(Not to be flamish and stuff...but) turboredeemed, you also need to catch up on following Game Masters. Like when we did Digimon: Rise of EX1 (my RPG), you ran off and battled some Digimon named Yugimon, and never EVEN FOLLOWED THE PLOT (sowwy if I'm flaming)

 

[PhQnix]

Kingdom Hearts II just came out in Japan about before Christmas, and the Dusk are like white Heartless (Hearltess are usually black), and they are stronger than the Heartless.

So the dusk are white chair legs and the heartless are black chair legs, great.

Describe them otherwise, describe them for people who haven't played the game, what are their motives and what do they look like?

You can fuse with either your Pokemon or another Character, like Sora fusing with Donlad will be Wisdom Form, and Sora fusing with Goofy will be Valor Form, it's similar to DNA Digivolving in Digimon.

That doesn't quite explain the entire process. When can you fuse? What do fusions look like and how are they accomplished?

 

[Seijiro Mafuné]

Yanno, now I remembered something: why do you use a Keyblade? Isn't that, I dunno, a weapon for the Keyblade MASTER? Like Sora? Who is the one who is supposed to kill Ansem, instead of a random kid off the block?

Also, technically, the Boy from POKéMON Emerald is Brendan.

 

[Seraphinu]

This plot makes little sense, even for me, a regualar KH player, who has beaten Ansem many times. And I think this shouldn't have KH2 exclusives in it,
considering the game doesn't come out until March, unless you can explaine it well. And I agree that not everybody should have a keyblade, because if you read the game booklet, it clearly says that the Keyblade is a unique weapon, and only three people have ever weilded(sp?) one, being Sora, Riku, and King Mickey. Plotholes everywhere. It saddens me.

 

[Psychic]

>.< Dan, I swear I will never in a million years understand why this idiot isn't getting a perma-ban. I mean, he's obviously mentally retarded and has no memory of anythinbg anyone has said before. I mean, seriously, man, he posts the same damned thing every time, it's always lacking and he never learns a bloody thing from the whole ordeal. Why is he still here after all this time?



Anyways, turbo, you bloody doorknob, it goes like this:

NOT EVERYONE PLAYS KINGDOM HEARTS, SO NOT EVERYONE UNDERSTANDS WHEN YOU USE TERMS FROM THE GAMES.
What is a portal? How is it created? What does it look like? Are they temporary? How long does one appear for?

What are these items? What are they used for? How do you use them? WHY do you use them? How is your item chosen-randomly? What do they all look like? How do they work? What are their roles in the story: if we wanted to kick butt, I'd command a Charizard to use Flamethrower, screw these weapons.

Explain fusing and use full details. How/why/when/with who do you fuse? Is there a restriction to who/how many people to fuse with? How long do fusions last? What's the POINT in fusing?


YOUR SIGN UP IS ABSOLUTE CRAP AS USUAL. WE ALWAYS TELL YOU THIS AND YOU NEVER LISTEN.

And don't just provide your own sign up: explain one fist using a blank template so you can make restirictions such as "Ages must be between __ and __" or "you can only come from _____ region"


I'll post later and comment on your sign up.


~Psychic

 

[~*Ratiosu*~]

Sejiro-Well, to avoid confusion or whatever most people call the boy in Emerald...Emerald. And the boy in Pokemon Ruby Brendan. Of course May is called the same in both: May. Though she's called Sapphire in the manga, I believe.

Sorry for the off-topic thing, I just needed to clear that up. On-topic:

PERMA-BAN! YOU DO NOT DESERVE TO STAY ON THESE FORUMS ANY LONGER, TURBOREDEEMED.

*ahem* Now I am done. I shall not come back to this thread (unless someone needs clearing up, like if Sejiro posts again). Goodbye.

*opens umbrella, flies off*