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Imagination - oneshot

Discussion in 'Non-Pokémon Stories' started by katiekitten, Dec 15, 2008.

  1. katiekitten

    katiekitten The Compromise


    Ice drops frozen to the wooden flats of the wall.

    The teenage girl watched them mutely, gloved hand lifting slowly to trace the winding trails that had followed them, some spark inside of her acknowledging their beauty with something verging on awe. The rest, well, it simply watched, and waited, as twisting snowflakes billowed past her nose.

    It was 12:15.

    The sun had set before seven, and without it the sky stretched bleakly from mountain to mountain, trembling paws resting on their jagged tops as it waited for the light to return. With the light’s absence, the snow clouds had flooded in, round bellies full and eager, twisting around the speckled stars. But the sky ignored them and simply watched, with its single eye sombrely open, the horizon to the west.


    It trembled through her bones, that desperation. She felt it from the tips of her age-old Wellies to the steady thrumming of her heart.

    Shifting against the wind as it whipped her long, chestnut hair into her face, she delved deeper into the warmth of her scarf, allowing her hand to slip from her house’s wall as she gazed out into the garden. There, barely visible underneath the anguished light, He sat, feet sunk deep into the corpses of his predecessors.

    She didn’t know why he bothered her.

    He wasn’t all that different from the others- in fact, he was exactly the same: misshapen, half-melted, patchwork scarf wound around his midriff and a stump of a stick for a nose. If it wasn’t for his general size, you would be hard pressed to recognise him for what he was, for snow is snow, in the end, and with the spontaneous spurts of warm weather recently, his eyes had washed away.

    But she knew he was still there, sitting placidly, accepting, despite everything. A creature with no face, no identity, nothing but its own existence.

    She stepped towards him.


    Existence? She scoffed at herself. He wasn’t real, not in the slightest - she had crafted that smile, planted those open, calm eyes: he was a thing, nothing more, and wouldn’t even be that for all that much longer.





    He? She shook her head, bemused- it was made out of dirt and packed ice, mashed together by idle hands into a vaguely human shape. It was as human as a rock is a cloud – undeniably illogical, stupid, and downright insane.



    A ninth step, tenth– she was almost before him now, close enough for her fingertips to graze the scarf that flitted in the breeze.

    Ice. That was all it was, she insisted: Natural, steady, systematic as sun rise and sun set and the turn of the seasons. Other. Inhuman.

    She stopped before him. Considered him with a dusty green eye, brushed guilty, gloved fingers slowly over the featureless expanse of where his eyes once were.

    And, acknowledging finally the raging guilt inside of her, she grasped the snow and scattered it to the keening heavens, watching as the flakes swirled into the wind and were lost in the flurry of the last storm of the winter.

    Forgive me.

    You get cookies if you can guess what this is about. xD I know this isn't particularly good, dears, - too cold, not literally - but it serves. Hope you enjoyed it, nevetheless. <3
  2. Diddy

    Diddy Renegade

    Yay for snow in vaguely human shapes.

    I must say that it was very imaginative and despite it being awesome and all, shouldn't this be in the non-pokemon section rather than the authors cafe?

    Exactities aside, I wish it was snowing enough up north so I could make snowmen/other generic snow activities.

    And I must say it's nicer than what I'm planning for my christmas one-shot.
  3. Bay


    I would also say it has something to do with snowman. With going into deeper context, the main character makes a snowman that represents her lost loved one (hence the ending line "Forgive me")?

    Like seriously, I get confused sometimes what your work's about, but I always like your writing style. XD; And yeah, I too think you had put this in the wrong section. ^^;

    Nothing else to say but I like this one shot, even if I was a bit confused. XD Sorry for the cruddy review. -_-
  4. katiekitten

    katiekitten The Compromise


    I can't believe I put this in the wrong place. xD;;; Must've been more tired than I'd thought. *gets it moved*

    Will edit with reviews later when I don't feel so cursed embarrassed. xD;;
  5. Praxiteles

    Praxiteles Friendly POKéMON.

    I think the point you wanted to highlight here is that the snowman is her creation, and some amount of meaning went into the construction. And now she has to destroy it. If so, I certainly would understand the one-shot a lot more.

    It certainly is impactive in some way. Not directly, but under the girl's distinct attempts to keep it cold is a quiet but very effective longing.

    Also, I enjoy the magic tricks our minds play on us with attaching meaning to inanimate objects.

    All in all, I'm happy I recently decided to read most of your new works, whatever I find.
  6. katiekitten

    katiekitten The Compromise

    Didster: xD I'm sure it is not, and you have my wishes for snow. *hugs* It hasn't snowed here yet either. D:

    Bay: No, your review is not crappy at all! *squishes* And this story isn't fully described at all, my apologies. My stories always seem to turn out confusing these days. xD; I'm glad you liked it nevertheless.

    And it is a snowman! :D On what it means, I left it open ended - and that fits quite well. x3 Sorry again for the confusion.

    Luph: Exactly! *glomps* That's the part of the core of it - she made him. That, and her guilt, despite her realising how stupid it is to mourn a snowman. :x

    What I was going for, in the end, but it really is up for interpretation, is that she feels guilty for creating something that is going to slowly and excrutiatingly melt/die, a guilt that has been brought into account by the amount of attachment she has for this snowman. (Similar to the little, niggling guilt you feel when you use bug spray on a fly. Or when you drown people on the sims - her attachment isn't explained, as you've probably noticed. xD; ) As such, as its nearing the end of winter and one of the final winter storms are blowing through, she decides to destroy him and effectively return the snow back to the storm, as a sort of personal closure.

    *shrugs* Daft, neh?

    :D Thank you, hun, seriously! You're too good to me. *squishes* I owe you.
  7. Sike Saner

    Sike Saner Peace to the Mountain

    You know, I can't remember when the last time was that I made a snowman. o.o And as I recall, that previous attempt, whenever it was, was... well, the results weren't too good. XD; It was maybe, oh, eight inches high at best and didn't really look like a snowman. Or like anything else, really. Whether I really just half-assed it or there simply wasn't enough snow available to do any better, I don't recall.

    ...But I'm going to stop rambling now and get to the point: this story made me want to go out and make a snowman, a proper one this time. (But dammit, this winter's being really stingy with the snow this year... X3; )

    Anyway, in addition to liking the subject matter and being newly inspired by it to try making a snowman that doesn't look like crap sometime, I also really liked that the note this story started on was an image, one nice, clear image. I thought that was neat. ^^ Oh, and I also really liked the "Forgive me" line. <3

    So yeah, nicely done. ^^

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